Behavior Change: How You Can Change Your Behavior By Altering Your Identity!

1. 01 Welcome Everyone: Hi, thank you for joining us in this first-class of the demeanor series. First-class was about self-discipline. Second, there was about daily habits. And now we're tackling behavior change. There are two main problems when we're talking behavior change. First, when we don't know what to do, how to act, we look at the group to know what behavior we shouldn't exhibits. Which begs the question, what groups are you currently part of? Family, friends, organizations, clubs. Then also, when we don't know how to act, we tend to default to low impact activities. Mainly these days, social media. Psychologist named Curt Levine said, your behavior is basically the product of what you are when you're evolving in your environment. And your environment is the product of the story you tell yourself about yourself. Basically, behaviour change happens after rewriting your self story into a more empowering one. What are you going to learn in this class? First, how behavior and identity go hand in hand. You're going to discover also the free layers of behavior change. We're going to look at bore them and how it impacts your behavior and why it's important also to get comfortable with it. I'm going to share strategies and tactics on how to effectively alter your behavior during the whole day. And finally, how to make your behavior change lasts over a time. If that sounds good. If you like it, feel free to keep watching. Thank you. 2. 02 Behavior VS Identity: Behavior versus identity. What you want does not define who you are. What you are currently, defines who you are. What it means is you cannot change your behavior just because now you want something else. It is not that easy, it is not how it works. Whatever your identity is right now, you only believe it because you have proof of it. I don't know about you, but this is huge. This is game-changing. It was for me certainly, what it means is I can collect new proofs and build another identity, hopefully a better one. What it means also is my identity is just beliefs, something that I can edit, something that I can change over time and go to another identity where I feel more comfortable with. Which lead me to the question. And now I'm asking you, did you develop over time what I call a safety behavior? A safety behavior is designed to ensure acceptance within your group. You can understand group, however you like your family, your friends, your organizations, your clubs, your work environment, your gym, simply developed behavior that made sure that you were not going to lose those groups. That doesn't mean that those behavior correspond to who you are. Truly. That just means that within those groups you are going to be accepted. So in order to change those behaviors that you probably don't like, now, you are starting to think about it. There are free layers of change, and this is what we are going to see in the next video. 3. 03 The 3 Layers of Behavior Change: There are three layers of change. First, you have changes in your outcomes. And outcomes are about what you get your results. And mainly this is what we focus on when we wont change, when we want to progress. Then you have changes in your processes. And your processes are about what you do on a daily basis, your current actions, your daily habits. And this is why in this demeanor series, I focused first in the first class on self-discipline and the second class I focused on daily habits. And then their air is changes in your identity, which for me is the most important thing that you need to really focus on when you need to think about changing your behavior. Identity is about what you are, your character, your personality, and your beliefs. As humans, we tend to think those changes in the wrong format. We start with outcomes and results if we don't have the results that we are looking for, and certainly very quickly, we feel discouraged. And I think it is big. It is coming from something from a misunderstanding. Really, truly. Changes that lasts over time are about changes in your identity. Changes in the story. You tell yourself about who you are. I believe this first thing, this one of the most important thing to focus on when you try to change your identity is really to try to get comfortable with boredom. This is what we are going to look for. 4. 04 Get Comfortable With Boredom: Ask yourself the following question. What is the behavior I mainly default to? When I am bored? When I lacked clarity. What do I do when I don't know what's coming next? What what I might do wing where I don't know what's coming next. And I can tell you for myself, for example, it's YouTube. I go to YouTube and I can really binge-watch all the stupidest videos that humans ever created. Lack of clarity always leads to procrastination. It's not because we are lazy people. It's just because we don't know what's coming next. Behavior change always starts with awareness. That's an actually everything starts with awareness at the moment you, the moment you point a light on the behavior, that behavior starts to change. In order to point that lights, I encourage you to go to the exercise called weekly schedule. It is a simply scheduled by 30 minute increments and you are going to follow three to five of your days what you were doing in actuality. I really encourage you to do it. I did it in all the classes I taught. It's really that powerful when you see that you have time in actuality. One exercise that I encourage you to do really is the idea to schedule block times where you are going to have access to internet. It's an idea coming from Cal new porch in his book, Deep Work. The idea is not to schedule your work. The idea is to schedule your distractions. You schedule block times where you have connectivity, where you have Internet, and the rest of the rest of the time, you're simply off internet. The goal is to shape slowly but surely the biology of your brain to a new kind of behavior. When you don't, where you don't think about the work because your default behavior now, you think about distractions, where in those times, in thes block of times, I can distract myself for that amount of time, the rest of the time. My default setting is to simply not have internet access. Why internet access? Simply because when you cannot distract yourself online, you find actually time. You really go back to the basics and you really start to see where your time is going. First, start with the weekly schedule. Just follow don't judge, just follow what you are doing on a day-to-day basis. Simply that second blocks of time for distraction. Outside of those block block times, you are simply not having connectivity. I really, I really don't mean working. I really just mean stop internet. Not going on internet. Going on your phone. Just getting comfortable with boredom and see where it leads. Usually hopefully, it leads to building a sense of, okay, I know now what I'm supposed to do next Simply because now I have time to think of it. Before that, my time was spent on social media or whatever, YouTube or whatever. And I thought actually I didn't have time, but I have the time now that I can see it on my schedule. 5. 05 Alter Your Behavior In Actuality: How to alter your behavior, strategies, and tactics. This is, this is a part that everyone loves, but it is in order to create something, to create a new identity, like I said from the very beginning. So all those strategies, they are important to implement. But in order to do what, in order to create a new you, hopefully a better you. So in 1936, a psychologist named Curt Levine wrote a simple equation. It was said that behaviour is the result of the person in their environment. Which led me to simply understand that truth is, if you want to change, don't put yourself into complicated situations. Make it a habit to less, to spend less time in difficult situations. Let's take some examples here. And hopefully you are going to look at the exercise and see how you can build your environment, which leads to less distraction unless difficulties. Let's take those examples. If you go out three times per week, you are going to you'll tend to abuse alcohol no matter what, no matter what you think or do, you are. Putting yourself into situations where you are going to be tempted? If you drink alcohol today, that means that tomorrow It's going, your mind is going to be less at ease. If your phone is resting next to your bed, you sleep later. No matter what you think about your willpower, about your motivation. Don't put your phone next to your bed. Another example, if you spend much time around negative people, what do you think is going to be happening? For your mindset? It is going to be more difficult to be grateful. Start changing your behavior by finding groups where the behavior is already existing. If you make friends at the gym, what's kind of friends are you going to have in your entourage? Really? Well, people that like to go to the gym. And conversely, if you, if you are the type of person who makes people, who makes friends online, your friends are going to be people who actually likes to spend time online. Very different from the people who like to spend their time at the gym. And you can do that for every kind of organization or clubs. If you make friends at dog parks, you will have friends that love dogs. If you go to book clubs to meet people, you, your friends will be people that like books, like to read, like to spend time with a book in their hands. If you make friends by volunteering at NGOs, those people are going to be the kind of people who are empathic, empathetic with other causes. For me, I used to make friends at entrepreneur meetups and guess who I was with all the time. Well, obviously entrepreneurs, believers, dreamers, at least people that have the basic core values that I want to develop in myself. That's really powerful. Think about the groups that you are currently part of. Changing your behavior is really about two things. For me. It's making the good behaviors easier and making the bad behaviors harder. And I'm going to repeat it because this one is extremely important. Make the good behaviors easier, make the bad behaviors harder. And please look at the, look at the exercise that I'm sharing. But here I'm sharing just a few examples. Where is right now the remote of your television? Is it where you can easily see it? Or is it may be inside a drawer or maybe some is it behind kinds door that you have to open with a key? The more your the more your remotes is going to be easily. Accessible, the more television you are going to watch. Make the make that behavior more difficult. Unplug your home Internet after nine PM. If it doesn't work, it doesn't work simply. And obviously, your phone switch off your phone after 11 PM or ten PM. I don't touch my phone mainly after eight PM. Which means I either have to work or I have to sleep, or I have to take a book, but find something where I can take my phone. This is powerful for people who can't nuts, touch their phone. Put your phone in the baskets. Immediately after coming back home. Put that basket in front of your home door. The moment you enter a home, you put your phone on silence and you just put it in the basket. I'm not saying don't use it. If you want to use your phone, go to the basket in front of your home door and you can consult your phone there. You want. You won't be as much tempted. Put a book every morning on your bed. You do your bed. Hopefully you do your bed every single day. You do your bed and before leaving, you're just before leaving. Just after finishing your bed, you take this book, any book and you put it on top of your bed. It will be standing there until you go back to bed, which you will do. That's for sure. Seeing that book is already a chance of taking that book and reading at least one page per day. I'm a fan of not doing big things at first because we are not built like that. We won't just to get out of inertia. How? Just read one page per day. But that book in the morning, find it in the evening. Read one page and they are already set for something. Good. Put your gym clothes in front of your home door. Before leaving. You will see them. You yes. You cannot take them, of course, yes. But at least they're there. You put in your mind the day before that, you are going to do it. You are going to take your gym clothes. You already put them in a bag and it's in front of your door. So why not take them? Not saying you are going to the gym. Just saying that, Hey, I did what I need to do in order to go to the gym. If this is what I want. Another case, for example, don't use the elevator, use the stairs. It's really that easy. It's really that easy. Make the good behaviors easier, and make the bad behaviors harder. It is really that easy. Those strategies, those tactics, they are, once you build them in your day-to-day activities, it is, it becomes part of who you are. Your identity. Your identity is changing. Once your identity change, your processes, change what you are doing. Once your processes change your results while they take care of themselves, obviously. Now we're going to look at how to make those changes lasts hopefully forever. 6. 06 How to Make Changes Last: How are you going to make those changes last for long and for good? I'm sorry to say it, but this time, willpower and motivation just won't cut it. Maybe you're that is incongruent with your core values. We've your identity will simply NAPLAN tests, which begs the question, who are you when you are on your a game? What kind of behavior you need to exhibit in order to achieve the goals that you have. You have an exercise, it take the time to think to that person. I think who you are when you are on your a game. Just pause the video from now. Work backwards. Which means now that you have the picture, the perfect picture of who you want to think about the smallest unit of work that you can achieve, which puts, which puts you in the trajectory of becoming that person. The smallest unit of work. Do it for seven days. Just that after those seven days, guess. Sweats. Yes. You get to do it for seven more days. And after those seven days, guess what? You get to do it again for seven more days. Maybe just maybe change something, just tiny thing. But to really keep in mind smallest unit of work. I always start. I always start very small because that's a way for me to make sure that I'm going to enjoy the journey. Otherwise, I know that I'm not going to stick with it. When we started walking today, we walk like 567 miles. My wife and I per day. When we started with we didn't even finish one mile, not even one kilometer actually, which is 0.7 miles. We didn't judge. We started very slow because we wanted to make sure that the base six we're good. How to do that? You make sure you enjoy the process, you enjoy the journey, and changes in your behavior. They need to blend in your daily routine. Every single time. I know this is true for me and this is true for my clients. Every single time someone started with spectacular efforts. I want to do this and that and this and that. You can make sure of it. It's, it's not good. It doesn't end well. We finally have to go back to the basics. Start very small and build. From there. It took us more than 450 days to achieve those 567 miles. But at least we're there. That's it. That's what really is important. You should always judge yourself on the trajectory of your life, not that your current results. I will end with the words of someone that I was really impressed with. A millionaire or billionaire out on even know, named Stephen Bartlett. And he said he's actually very wise check check him out. He said, every self-help book needs to be titled. Do the same thing for a long time. Really deeply. Believe in that. Do the same thing for a long time. Maybe sometime. Just tweak a little bit, something just very tiny, but really consistency is where you get all the rewards. It may take some while. Yes, that's for sure. But you get the rewards after days, x weeks, X amount of time. You get the rewards. Thank you. 7. 07 Quick Last Word: A quick last word, if you like that course, please type my name Mohammed morass and you will find other courses. The demeanor series that about self-discipline and daily habits. You can download and do the exercise please. I'm convinced they are going to help you achieve your goals. Please read this, read this course. It will be a game changer for me as it tells the platform that is, the content is important and it will help others please also share, share with your friends. If you think it's going to help them, please share the content. Thank you, Thanks for taking the time and see you into another course. Thanks.