Essay Writing & Referencing for English as a Second Language (ESL) Students

1. PART 1 ~ COURSE INTRODUCTION: Hello, and welcome. Thank you so much for enrolling in this course. I trust that it'll be a very rewarding and challenging process as you learn the ins and outs of academic essay writing. When I was teaching academic literacy at the University of the Free State. The main complaint which professors and lecturers in the humanities had about student writing was that there was no structure in their essays. Their writing was like this salad. Good ideas, lots of variety, healthy and delicious. But what the professors really want is this. The same good ideas, but distinct and organized. In this course, I'm going to give you the tools you'll need to write well organized essays for better marks. I'd like to quickly give you a course overview. Each of the seven big sections of this course add a new dimension to the essay writing process. Firstly, we'll learn how to compose the perfect body paragraph, which goes in the body section or the actual content section of the essay. Then we'll discover the worlds of transitions and how they can completely transform your writing. You'll also learn how to round off your essays with good introduction and conclusion paragraphs, very important. We'll learn all about referencing and why it's so important in academic situations. Then we'll learn how to put it all together in the section on essays, actual section. Finally, I'm going to teach you how to evaluate your own essays and how to fix the universal mistakes which many students make. In each section, I provide plenty of practice activities. If you do them, they can help you to cement your newly acquired essay writing skills. There are some great additional features to the course. Firstly, if English is not your first language, this course was designed specifically for you because probably 95% of my students at university did not speak English as their mother tongue. I've helped them to navigate essay writing and I can also help you. I'm also including vocabulary pop ups and a few tips and tricks to help you survive academic life. You can also work at your own pace. Of course, the lectures or the sessions are clearly labeled so that you can find specific information. I also include bonus takeaway templates, which can help you from undergraduate right through two post graduate studies. 2. First challenge : Let's start with an activity to activate your background knowledge. This is like activating some mental folders which already exist in your brain so that you can optimally save new information. Please download the word file which is attached to this lesson and take a look at this student's writing. Can you spot at least eight things that need to be fixed? Highlight the problem areas and we'll be discussing them in the next session. 3. First challenge solution video: How did it go? I'm going to do a quick solution video in which we discuss the different mistakes the student made. There were a few places where the student did not speak formally enough. Hi, dear teacher. Hi is not formal enough. That is social media language. Teacher should be a small t. There was a capitalization issue. I'm writing this in the intermission. Intermission is usually used to refer to a play or a concert where there's a break time in the middle. It can't be used for a class situation. Between classes to tell you of my extllment This is the opposite of high. It's too formal. For your class, your group work rouses deep. There should be a word here rouses deep sense of admiration and enjoy within me. This is also a bit too formal. I enjoy every step of the work. This is a tricky mistake. Every step of the way is an idiom, but every step of the work is an idiomatic error. It comes without speaking exactly the same mistake. It should have been it goes without saying, That your class is the best. Also, but informal. I don't know how much. That's a redundant word. We don't need the word much. You can just say, I don't know how to give vent to my feelings. Give vent is usually used in a negative sense. You say, I give vent to my anger. You don't use it in a positive situation like this. You help me with a difficultnes, that should be difficulty of English. I know other guys, that should be people or students, guys is too informal, and I suggest suggest to them to take your class. I'm so much happy. Again, this word is not necessary. You could have said, I'm so happy to be word missing. The student of a sagely teacher, such as you. This word is very old fashioned English and it's a bit too formal to use in this situation. So such as you should have been yourself and getting your advice. Word form, it should have been advice. Your help is beyond valuability. You could have replaced these two words just by saying, invaluable. Your help is invaluable. At the end here, we have y for now, which is two informal Do, it's fine. As you can see, it's actually quite simple and fun, and all throughout this course, we'll be exploring how to identify all kinds of mistakes such as these, and how to ensure that the structure or the skeleton of your work is rock solid underneath the top layer of words and sentences. 4. Preview to the essay: Types of paragraphs in an essay; intro to prompt verbs: Welcome to the session, which is going to be about the types of paragraphs in the essay and the introduction to prompt verbs. Before actually settling down to write the perfect paragraph. Let's take a quick look at the types of paragraphs in an essay. This is a essay outline. It's the plan of action or the blueprint for the essay. We're going to be going into this in much more detail soon. The introduction is the very first paragraph of the essay, which introduces the topic and which states the main aims of the essay. As you can see, introduction goes at the top. Then we have body paragraphs. This is the type of paragraph that goes in the body section of the essay. The body goes between the head and the conclusion. You can put as many body paragraphs as you want into your essay. But in this course, we'll just write two. Then we get to the conclusion, conclusion paragraph, which goes at the end of the essay and ties together all of the ideas that you had going on in your essay. Goes at the end. So each of these paragraph types are necessary in a good essay. And in the upcoming lessons in Part two and Part four, especially, we'll go into the unique structure, which is necessary in each paragraph. Because as you can see, they do not follow the same structure every time. This one has background information. This one has transition and support, et cetera. You will have noticed that there is an activity attached to this lesson? This is a challenge where you get to use the vocabulary of each paragraph to guess it's type. For example, inconclusion at the beginning of this paragraph indicates that it is a conclusion paragraph. Basically, this exercise is all about taking a paragraph, checking its vocabulary, such as inconclusion, and then deciding, is it an introduction? Is it a body paragraph one, body paragraph two, or is it a conclusion paragraph? The second thing I want to mention in this session is that paragraphs can fulfill different functions. So these are the possible functions of paragraphs which are working together within an essay. How do you know what the role of your essay body paragraphs should be? Well, the essay prompt gives you a clue. Essay prompt is the main essay question or the essay instructions which you get from the lecturer. Say prompts usually contain verbs such as explain or discuss these verbs give you a clue on what the function of your body paragraphs is going to be? Whether it's going to persuade the audience, whether it's going to compare and contrast. For example, Care making a living as a singer to a career as a pianist. Here, the main verb is to compare. This is going to shape your whole journey when you're writing this essay. For example, you're going to make lists of pros and cons, prose of the singer, pros and cons of the pianist. Then in the body of the essay, you will compare the two careers. We'll do a lot more of this later, I think in session 74 of the course, but these two slides, this one and the next one, show some working definitions of prompt verbs or instruction words with which to get started. Please go ahead and read these definitions so that you're already starting to prepare for the prompts you might get from your lecturer. If you get an essay prompt, it's very important to understand the main action or the main prompt verb, which they expect of you. That's it for the session. I'll see you in the next lesson. 5. PART 2 ~ THE BODY PARAGRAPH : Mmm. Welcome to Part two, where we'll be discussing the perfect body paragraph. Body paragraph goes into the body section of the essay. You may be asking, why do we start with the content or the body section? Isn't it more logical to start with the introduction and then body and then conclusion? I think it is more logical to start from beginning and go to the end. But we found it's actually easier to start with the actual content of the body. Then when you know how to write good content, you'll be able to go back to the introduction and figure out a thesis statement and a roadmap to fit with your content. Sometimes it's just easier to do things in reverse. And then when we've learned the body, we go to writing introductions and conclusions. In this section, we'll be discussing the structure, which makes the body paragraph strong and independent. This is where the famous Hamburger model comes in. I'll also show you the recommended procedure by which the paragraph is written. This is the process which includes brainstorming, outlining and drafting. But before getting into all that, let's quickly cover the basics of writing effective words and sentences. 6. Basic building blocks: words and sentences: Words and sentences are, of course, the basic building blocks of all writing, including essay writing. The fact that you are here indicates that you already have a good general vocabulary and some knowledge of English syntax. But there are a couple of additional aspects which come into play in academic English. You probably already know many of the following things, but I'm going to cover them again to make sure that you identify any gaps in your essay writing skill set. This is extra important if your first language is not English. Words in academic writing should be of a higher register higher than those used in informal everyday communication. For example, everyone loves ice cream, so it's a good idea to sell it. That is too informal. The academic version could be something like ice cream is a universal favorite and is therefore considered to be a good area for investment, especially in Soth Africa. If your first language is not English, you might need to work much harder to get your vocabulary up to university or college standards. The pop up words in this course are a good place to start. Please write down the word and its definitions and revise it a few times until it becomes part of your vocabulary. Reading is also one of the best ways to expand your vocabulary. But more on this later. Okay. In academic English sentences also need to be upgraded from social media language. Firstly, sentences need to be complete, no matter how small it is a sentence has to have a subject and a verb to be complete. For example, Nina loft is a complete sentence because it has a subject Nina and a. Secondly, sentences need to be constructed in a variety of ways. It's monotonous to have the same sentence structure over and over again in your essay. There are four basic types of sentences which you can alternate to give things interesting. Here are the basic definitions of the four sentence types. The first type is a simple sentence, which contains a single independent clause, also known as a main clause. This entire sentence is actually just one clause. John kicks the ball. Contains a subject and a verb. Second type of sentence is a complex sentence. It contains an independent and at least one dependent clause. John kicks the ball. We said that that was the stable independent clause, and this with the intention of scoring is a subordinate clause. I'm making it red because it's unstable. It cannot stand on its own. It relies on the first part of the sentence to be able to stand. It's completely dependent. Okay. Okay, then we have a compound sentence. All clauses are independent. John As for the goal posts. Okay. Clause number one, but he misses his target. Also independent because it has a subject and a verb. Finally, you have a compound complex sentence which contains more than one main clause and has at least one dependent clause. John kicks the ball. That is completely independent with the intention of scoring that cannot stand on its own, so it is a dependent clause, and then you but he misses his target, which is also a main clause and can stand on its own. In academic writing, you should try to have a nice mix of these sentence types. Let's look an example. We went outside today as the weather was delightful Cound spreading our blue blanket on the grass, I placed Nina in its center watching her as she began to explore, which is compound complex. We found a garden snail with a striped black and yellow shell. Nina laughed. Simple. I hope that inspired you to check that you have a nice variety of sentences in your essays, and I will see you in the next session. 7. Writing a structurally sound body paragraph: the Hamburger model: Welcome back. This session will be about writing a structurally sound body paragraph and this is where we actually apply the hamburger model. As I mentioned, a body paragraph is a paragraph which belongs in the body section. Between the introduction, and the conclusion sections. So here you can see the two body paragraphs. They are a very useful paragraph because you can literally use it in all your academic essays, whether you study music or medicine or law. It's a kind of one size fits all paragraph which you can use to discuss or to compare to question to persuade or to engage in any other function you like. A tip I can give you is that one body paragraph is equal to one idea. Your first body paragraph might be a beef burger and the second body paragraph might be a chicken burger. Let's change that. It's very important that you stick to the point within each body paragraph. Let's have a closer look at the exact structure you need to follow if you're writing body paragraphs. This is what the hamburger looks like in outline format. The paragraph outline is like a blueprint or a recipe for the paragraph itself. The top bun is the topic sentence. The bottom bun represents the concluding sentence, which restates the same basic idea of the topic sentence. They are both made of bread. They both have the same basic idea, and they hold this whole paragraph together. And the fillings are the supporting sentences. They can be as many fillings as you like, but we will only insert three or four supporting sentences in this course. And finally, you have some kind of source or condiment, which represents the transitions. These are words such as first therefore and however, and they gel all the ingredients together. Let's do a quick example of all this. Maybe you want a body paragraph to go in an essay about how COVID 19 has changed the world. In the topic sentence spot, I'm going to have something like workplaces have changed forever. And then automatically, I already have material for my last concluding sentence. I could say something like workplaces will never be the same. It's the same idea, but different words. Now we need three supporting ideas. I thought of these three. Firstly, remote working is increasingly the norm. That means it's more and more normal. Then something like Internet has become indispensable. Nobody can work without Internet anymore, and thirdly, people are making a living online. That's how the body paragraph structure works. Then these blocks are four transitions. I just have a few and I'm going to put them in firstly, remote working is increasingly the norm. Also, Internet has become indispensable. Not surprisingly, people are making a living online. Then finally, I have Thus workplaces will never be the same. There you can see a basic example of how this works. In the next session, I'd like to tell you about a recipe for success, which comes in three steps, brainstorming, outlining and drafting, which is basically finding ideas, formulating a plan of action, and then converting that into a draft or the first version of your paragraph. That's it for now. I will see you guys in the next session. 8. Recipe for success, step 1 of 3: Mind Map: The first step in writing a good body paragraph is to brainstorm. Brainstorming can be done in many ways. In this course, I encourage you to use mindmap. Mindmap is a form of brainstorming developed by Tony Busen. These are some examples. They tend to be quite colorful and very logical and good for brainstorming and thinking of new ideas. For now, we are using mindmap to brainstorm a single paragraph only. But you can also use mindmap all the time, to brainstorm essays or assignments or presentations, desertations, whatever you need it for. Let's do an example together. Describe your procedure in applying to a particular college. Step one is to place the topic in the center of a clean page and a picture works very well. Now I'm going to place my ideas around this central topic. And then I have two smaller ideas. But I'll get to them in a second. You can get a prospectus, which is like a little book which tells you the prerequisites or the things you need to be able to get into university. You could attend the open day and you can also contact your specific department. If you want to study medicine, you will contact the medical faculty or if you want to study music. I studied music, then you will contact the music department. Then you should also find out, do you need to submit anything like a portfolio or do you have to do auditions? I'm doing music, so I had to do auditions. Now I'm going to fill in some secondary ideas for application, you could go copy, which is physically going to the place and filling it out, or you can do it online. The prospects. You could also get online or hard copy. I don't really have any ideas under the open day. Basically, you just go to it and observe to get into contact with the department, you can check their social media presence. You can get some information online. You can try to get a personal contact very valuable. What I'm busy doing here is I'm thinking of ideas in answering this particular prompt. I want to describe my procedure in applying to a particular college. These are all the ideas I thought of to start getting my paragraph going. This is plenty to get started with. But if you realize that you don't know enough about the topic, you may have to begin by reading some online articles or watching a few YouTube videos. Simply some YouTube ideas or online ideas is completely enough to get started with. You'll get to the real sources or the real information later. Use only keywords and tiny phrases. Later into the process, you'll be converting these into full sentences. There are a few advantages to doing mind mapping or brainstorming in this way. Firstly, you decide or maybe you even just realize where you are going with this topic. You notice which ideas belong together and which ones are dependent on others. Mind map reveals whether you have enough ideas or whether you'll maybe have to go back and watch more YouTube videos. It reveals whether you really understand the topic. If you do not, you can still get help and ask classmates ask your lecturer. Mind map also helps you to begin structuring your ideas into a certain order. This is quite important because if you can already see some kind of structure coming out or if you see emerging structure, then it's an indication that this is a really good mindmap mind map also tends to boost your creativity and productivity. So before you try for yourself, please take a look at these two examples, which I'm about to do. The first one is a bad mind map because the ideas are just as strong and as independent as the topic sentence itself and cannot fall under it. Okay. And this is an example of a good mine beep because the smaller ideas list easily underneath the main topic. Oh. Now it is your turn. Please choose a topic from the list and make a mindmap to brainstorm ideas for that topic. This is very small, but you can see the complete list in the attached document. Instructions are step one, pick a topic from the list. Step two, place it in the center of your mindmap, as we just did, Brainstorm or come up with ideas for relevant keywords or phrases. Step four is to organize your ideas as you go. As you just noticed I did with the good mindmap. Step five is to self evaluate. That means check up on yourself. Did your mind map include structure and relevant keywords? Remember, we are busy with individual body paragraphs. Later, these perfectly constructed paragraphs will then go into your longer essays. 9. Recipe for success, step 2 of 3: Outline: Thanks for completing the mind map, which is the third step in the writing cycle. If you had some indications of structure in your mind map and if you had relevant keywords, excellent and well done. Now that you have written down some basic ideas, you can take the next step to completing your paragraph, which is writing an outline. I'm very sorry for making you hungry with all my food metaphors. So an outline is a plan of action, which helps you nail the structure of your paragraph or essay before all the words and the sentences arrive and just start complicating everything. So as you can see, this is the empty outline for a body paragraph. Let's superimpose the hamburger model over that. Top b a topic sentence. Bottom bun is the concluding sentence, and we said it's the same topic idea. That's why they made of the same material, a piece of bread. The fillings, supporting sentences. Basically, here you go back to your mind map and you see, Oh, what were my strongest ideas? What can I use in my actual planning for my body paragraph. Then finally, you add some sources or transitions. And just as a kind of a footnote. This final concluding sentence can also be used to give a preview of what's coming up in the next body paragraph. Instead of saying the same thing as you did here, instead, you mention what's coming up next. But I do not advise this because it's a little bit confusing, but we'll talk about that soon. The next big part of the course is going to be about transitions or words like moreover, therefore in addition, which improves the flow of your writing. But I just want to mention beforehand, that topic sentences and concluding sentences are special kind of sentences. They cannot be part of any kind of transition chain or list, which is going on inside of your body paragraph. For example, this is going to be problematic. I love fruit. Firstly, apples are delicious. Secondly, pineapples are a little bit of heaven. Thirdly, mangoes are to die for fourthly, fruit are really delicious. This final sentence is not supposed to be one of your pieces of evidence. It's supposed to be the bottom bun, the repetition of the min idea of the paragraph, so I cannot be part of this list. It should get a different concluding transition. That fourthly is not working. This will be much better as a concluding sentence. Indeed, fruit are really delicious. Let's have a look at the big picture quickly. You will have noticed that there is no box for a transition in the topic sentence, both here and in the second body paragraph. You can include a transition, which is optional, but you have to treat it with care. For example, you can say here, Firstly, and in the second body paragraph, you can say secondly, then the big picture is making sense. This can also be on the one hand, on the other hand or in the first place, moreover. But starting a body paragraph with a transition is tricky because you have to think in terms of the bigger picture always. These are big picture transitions. But I also have to make sure that the smaller transitions within the paragraph stay on their own level. So let me show you what I mean. If I say here, firstly, secondly, finally, then these transitions are jumping out of their level. They're starting to be on the level of big body paragraph, big picture transitions. This is wrong because it interferes with the bigger picture. Rather do something like this on the one hand, on the other hand. Firstly, secondly, finally, there you have a little list which is not interfering with the topic sentence transition. Then I just add in conclusion over here. Remember, the concluding sentence is special. It can also not participate in this little list going on. Now I'm going to take the second step and convert my mind map into my outline. The first step in doing that is to convert the original prompt into a short phrase and to put it into the topic sentence spot. The original prompt here was, describe your procedure in applying to a particular college. I'm going to convert that into several steps in applying to university. I've taken the prompt and I've adapted it so that it can be the topic sentence of my outline and paragraph. Now I need to choose the three best ideas here from my mindmap so that they can go into the transition and support boxes. I'm going to ignore the transitions for the moment, and I'm going to start with the supporting sentences. If I look at my brainstorming, I think application is the most important. So I would say the first step is to apply to the college. I would just put in brackets online or hard copy. I'm not writing full sentences because this is just my blueprint or my recipe for the actual paragraph. I think the two ideas I want to leave out is this auditions and portfolio as well as prospectus. They are not so important. I think my second piece of evidence is going to be contact the department. Okay. And then I just want to add a few ideas such as Facebook website, and Lucy or whoever your personal contact is within the department. The third piece of evidence is attend open day. Okay. Then I make an imaginary date, 17 September 2021, and there I have my three main pieces of evidence. Now, I just want to quickly add some transitions. There are several steps in applying to University. Firstly, apply to the college online or hardcopy. Then contact the department, Facebook website or using your contact. Also, attend open day on 17 September. Then we have a concluding transition. Certainly. This will ensure a successful college application. I think I should add the word procedure since it was part of the prompt. Certainly, this procedure will ensure a successful college application. Excellent. I really like this paragraph. I think it really answers the prompt and it uses all my good ideas from my mind map. As you can see, I chose the three best ideas and I inserted them in a logical order. Okay. And you also realized by now that the concluding sentence needs a concluding transition. Now, I should check up on myself. Does my paragraph answer the original prompt? Yes, it does. We already checked that. Are all my supporting ideas helpful evidence to support the topic sentence? Applying to college, contacting department, attending open day, very strong. I really like these pieces of evidence. If something does not fit, then this is a very good place to just throw it out. We are still planning and it's better to get rid of anything that will cause problems later on. Okay. Do the topic sentence and the concluding sentence contain the same basic idea. Yes, it does. Yes, they do. Are my transitions meaningful and do they help the flow of my paragraph. Firstly, then also very, very good transitions. I think it definitely does do that. Final question to ask my topic sentence and conclusion sentence interfering with any small list transitions going on inside the body paragraph? This is not the case here because I used random transitions. They are not part of an official list. Okay, please complete this next step, so you need to convert your mindmap which you made to an outline. I would really encourage you to do these exercises because clay help you to cement your knowledge and to create new folders in your mental essay writing folder. Here you can see your procedure. Download the empty paragraph outline. Use your mind map from the previous activity, fit it into the outline using the following steps. You can find them on the attachment. I don't want to read through all of them now. Then very importantly, you need to self evaluate. Ask yourself all these important questions. When you're happy, then we can continue to the next part, which is about taking your outline and actually converting that into a paragraph. See you guys in the next session. 10. Recipe for success, step 3 of 3: Draft 1 & Starting sentences creatively: Okay. Now, we come to the final writing step, which turns out to be quite easy since we've already prepared everything. This is the step where you basically take your outline and rewrite it in paragraph form. A paragraph has no open lines, is just one solid chunk of writing. Something that's very important to remember here is don't forget to convert each phrase into a full sentence. Some students make the mistake of using the phrases exactly as they were in the outline, and then their sentences are fragmented and incomplete. For example, several steps in applying to university is not a complete sentence. Why is that? Does it have a subject? Yes. Steps. Does it have a verb? No, it does. It may seem so because applying is a verb word called a participle. But in fact, this sentence needs a small but powerful verb such as is B R has completed. So a possible solution would be there are several steps in applying to university. There's a small little verb. When you have converted the outline phrases to a paragraph of full sentences, just check whether each sentence has a subject and a verb, and the verb can be active like right or small and sturdy, like R. Let's complete this cycle. First step in converting your outline to a paragraph is to convert each transition as well as phrase into a full sentence. I have to ask myself, does each sentence have a subject and a verb? There are several steps in applying to university. Thinking back to the prompt, I'm actually going to say university or college. Now I take the first transition and support. Firstly, you should apply to the college either online or in hard copy. Format. Then contact the department via Facebook, their website, or a personal contact. Then the third transition and support also try to attend the institution's open day. I really don't like the date over there. I'm just going to ignore it. Then finally, just put the concluding sentence with its transition. Okay. I should not add any new information at this stage, but I can get rid of anything that is not working. I got rid of the date because I did not like it. Now I have to self evaluate. Did I actually reach my goal with each of these bits of planning? Yes. Because of my mind, many issues are completely canceled out, and I can just rely on my planning. Now we get to the second part of this session. Remember to have a nice variety of sentences when you're writing. In addition to all the types of sentences we saw in section one, you can also start a sentence in any of these ways. A dependent clause. Because it is cold tonight, I need a hot water bottle, participant, seeing her friends, the girl crossed the road to meet them. Infinite, to enjoy the weekend off, I need a good book and plenty of coffee. Subordinating conjunction. Whether you enjoy adventure or mystery, English fiction has something for you. Using these creative ways of starting a sentence, we'll ensure that your writing has a good amount of variety. Another important thing to keep in mind is that in academic writing, you need to reference constantly. Look at this piece of academic writing. To reference is to cite or to mention the writers from whom you got your information or your ideas. For example, Y Y is a person, Yacht wrote a book in 2010. I have to say, Oh, Yacht gave me this good idea, and I found it in his book on page 102. You need to insert an in text reference which looks like this behind every new idea that you incorporate. But don't worry about it too much for now. We will deal with referencing in Section six of the course. Now it is your turn. Please rewrite the outline in paragraph form, exactly as we just did. Step one, convert each transition and phrase into a full sentence. Check that it's a full sentence. Step two, try not to add any new material at this stage, but feel free to get rid of anything which is not working. Step three, self evaluate. Did you achieve your goal with each bit of planning in your outline? 11. Application: simple example paragraph cycle: Thanks so much for participating and doing that and well done because that's the complete process of writing a paragraph from scratch. We call this process a cycle. Let's quickly do a whole cycle or all three steps of the process to cement this new knowledge of paragraph workflow in your mental folder. I will choose one of these topics. I quite like the idea of this one. Let's continue and I will actually be brainstorming now. The two points of criteria for a mindmap are relevant keywords and the beginnings of structure. There must be some kind of idea already. Basically, stage acting is when you're watching a play on stage, such as these actors. I think I would make something like emphasis on good delivery. The second aspect I would like to highlight is very enjoyable. It's a very enjoyable life if it is your passion. Let me just shorten by saying it's fun if your passion. I need to find some sub ideas inside of those two topics. Delivery is basically the way you act, the way you pronounce, the way you project. Let's find some small ideas. I think a big aspect here is script memorization. Very important that they memorize all of their words. Second aspect is projection, being able to speak loudly enough, and emphasis on good acting. Because there is absolutely no second take. You have to do it perfectly the first time. No pressure. Then it's fun if it's your passion. Let's say makeup, that could be quite interesting. Decor. The way it's decorated, the sets and everything, decor, and then costumes. I think I would like to add plot. The story lines are quite fun sometimes. The problem was discuss aspects of stage acting. Did I discuss aspects of stage acting? Yes, I picked two big aspects, and I'm going to subdivide them. Okay. For the topic sentence, I'm just going to paraphrase the prompt a bit. I'm going to say something like there are many interesting aspects to stage acting. Okay. That's already a full sentence, but I'm going to let it slide. I instead of a phrase. Now I have to choose the three strongest ideas. I have a bit of a problem because I have two I have two big main ideas. I am actually going to have a bit of flexibility now, and I'm going to delete this supporting sentence. Instead, I'm going to focus on the first two to make them very strong. I think this is very informal, so I'd go with this first emphasis on good delivery. Just delete this emphasis on good delivery, and then in brackets, my smaller ideas, script. Then my second big idea is very enjoyable because fun is too informal. I'm just going to say very enjoyable if your passion and then in brackets aspects such as makeup, decor, costumes and plot. I think I'm just going to minimize this as we're not using it. Then the concluding sentence. The concluding sentence should be a reflection of the topic. So let me start with a nice conclusion. Therefore, let's say, now we switch around the sentence and say, stage acting involves many interesting aspects. Copy and paste. Now we just need to figure out two more transitions. I'm going to go simply with firstly and secondly. Let's put in a ready made reference just to get into the mode of inserting references. Okay. That's completely imaginary. It's just to help us remember the referencing. I'm going to copy this. I go to the next page where we will convert it into a paragraph quickly. Let's do it Let's swear around for a change. I'm going to copy and paste most of this since it's already well tht out. There are many interesting aspects within stage acting. Firstly, remember we need a small powerful verb. There is emphasis on good delivery. Let me copy all of this. And adapt it. I'm actually going to convert this into two sentences. Firstly, there is emphasis on good delivery. This includes script numization projection, and good acting. There we have a complete sentence. Now we get to the second transition and support. Secondly, Stage acting. It's very Secondly, stage acting is very enjoyable if it's your passion. Let's make it two sentences and have a nice transition here. In particular, Makeup decor costumes and plot are fascinating aspects of stage acting. Then I'm pretending that I got this from Diagev in his book from 18 82 and full stop. Now we just have to do the concluding sentence. Therefore, stage acting involves many interesting aspects. Since I've already planned it out in my outline, I know that this concluding sentence is a reflection of the topic sentence. It's not perfect yet, but I think this is a very good start to answering the prompt. I hope you enjoyed that, and I'll see you in the next lesson. 12. Successful topic sentences: Okay. Welcome back. In this session, I'd like to discuss topic sentences in some more detail. As I was seen before, the topic sentence is mostly determined by the prompt. For example, why some people are afraid of sharks? That was the prompt. If you convert that into a topic sentence, it would be something like people are afraid of shocks for a number of reasons. This is a possible topic sentence. A successful topic sentence has the following three qualities. Firstly, it clearly states what the paragraph will be about. Okay. Secondly, it controls the content of the paragraph and does not permit off topic ideas. While you're writing, just check that each supporting sentence fits into the topic and ask yourself, does the paragraph really prove the point in my topic sentence? Third point. A good topic sentence is not a simple fact, but makes a claim or a statement which can be argued or expanded upon. For example, people are afraid of sharks is weak. It is not as strong as people are afraid of sharks because of the movie jaws. That is very strong. The first one is a fact and somewhat boring, is a shark, people are afraid of sharks. It's a bit boring. The second one shows that you've got an argument up your sleeve. You want to claim. This is your big claim that jaws is the reason why many people are afraid of sharks. Let's take another example. Considering the evidence, the Earth is clearly flat. Is it good or bad? Well, it may sound ridiculous, but it's actually quite strong because it is a disputable point. Plenty of people will be quick to disagree with you. How about this one? In the South African city of tori, Jacaranda trees blossom in October every year. It is not very strong because it's just a simple fact undisputable. This would be better. In the South African city of Pretoria, Springtime brings Jacaranda blossoms, which is an eagerly anticipated event for the city's inhabitants. This is stronger because there is more scope for argument here. Because you're claiming something which can be argued. Some people may argue back and say, the blossoms always come out during exam time, so I hate the blossoms because it means stress. Other people may say, no, I hate the blossoms because they bring hay fever. People can disagree with you. That means it's strong. It's good to have a topic which you want to argue. This is just a bonus slide. Some problematic topic sentence from a good YouTube video. Four out of five teenagers in Canada have cell phones. He says, this is a fact and too specific to be a main idea. Secondly, driving is very stressful. That is too broad, driving where or when stressful for whom. Thirdly, how I learned to be more patient. It's a good topic, but not a topic sentence because it is incomplete. In this paragraph, I would like to discuss the importance of food in Italian culture. And then he says, It's not necessary to announce the topic. Simply state your opinion or your commentary on the topic. So it could have been something like food is of crucial importance in Italian culture. Okay. So now it is your ten. Please go ahead, download and complete the attached monkey puzzle. 13. Successful concluding sentences: Welcome back. We still talking about the body paragraph. Let's quickly discuss successful concluding sentences to body paragraphs. As we said, that's the bottom bun and you'll remember everything we said about the bottom bun, how should be the same material as the top bun and how should remind the reader of the topic sentence. Here's a nice summary by someone on the Internet. Conclusions wrap it all up. They reword topic sentence, they remind the reader of the topic, and they may start with transitions such as all in all, as you can see, clearly in conclusion to sum it up. There are two main options when it comes to writing successful concluding sentences. Number one is what I've been saying all along. Repeat what was said in topic sentence. Just use slightly different wording. For example, therefore, flat Earth is the most credible model when it comes to shape of the Earth. I recommend using this option, number one, because it is not confusing and the rule of thumb is one paragraph is one idea. But you also have a second option, which is to give a preview of what is about to follow in the next paragraph of your essay. For example, in contrast to the joyful anticipation people feel for Jacaranda blossoms. The Christmas season is often dreaded by the Pretoria population. This option requires more skill because it can confuse the reader, and you don't want that. You don't want that, especially if it's your lecturer and they are marking your essay at 3:00 A.M. In the morning. Let's do a short bonus exercise. Can you read this and tell me why it is confusing. I will tell you why it is confusing because the pro noun is very vague. Parents usually use a combination of both positive and negative sanctions in raising their children. You have two sets of parents and children. Firstly, they are encouraged by positive sanctions. Who are they? Secondly, negative sanctions help them to get discipline. Be careful of using pronouns like this without specifying to whom you are referring. Firstly, children are encouraged by positive sanctions. Secondly, negative sanctions help parents to enforce discipline, whatever it is. It's your turn, please complete the attached activity. 14. The importance of multiple drafts: We are still busy discussing body paragraphs, which are the most important building blocks when it comes to a writing. In this section, I will just discuss the necessity of multiple drafts. This simply means that your first version should be upgraded several times before you submit. It's almost like the work of a sculptor. He's carving out a statue or a figure or something. This is what Michael Angelo said. Every block of stone has a statue inside it and it's the task of the sculptor to discover it. In terms of writing, that good paragraph has to be chiseled out carefully by revising and rewriting. Even a simple read through of your first draft on the following day can bring many issues to light. For example, look at this student paragraph. The prompt was in a well constructed essay, discuss some of their advantages and disadvantages of being male in the workplace. Then the student paragraph was on the one hand, being a male at the workplace, should have been in, can cause an abundance of strains on the worker. Firstly, here's a spelling issue. Usually, another spelling issue. Try and prove themselves to other capitalization men. This usually run on. This usually spelling allows them to see who is more manly and who can have the most friends. Content. You get the idea. If the student had read this draft on the following day or before submitting, they might have picked up many of the mistakes. Please keep this in mind when you're writing essays for your modules. Try to schedule in some extra time. Schedule two or three days extra so that you can quietly and thoroughly revise and chip away all the extra rough stone so that you can get down to that perfect paragraph underneath. Okay. Now it is your turn. Please download the attached to paragraph, underline or highlight. All the words or phrases where something is incorrect. See how many mistakes you can find, and then you continue to the solution video. 15. Solution video: Let's talk about this paragraph. I think the student had very good structure because the whole paragraph is about or why males are advantaged in the workplace. I think they stuck to the structure quite well. The content is also quite good. The actual information the student had, but the grammar is very weak, so it actually takes a detracts from the content. Then there are some obvious mistakes which the student would have been able to fix if they had had more time or if they had been more conscious or just had taken the time to re read this paragraph before submission. I also think there aren't enough transitions. All right. Let's look at the small mistakes. On the one hand, male experience. This is a subject verb agreement. It should have been something like males experience or A male experiences advantages in and then there's a word missing in the workplace. They earn more than women, there should be no S, and they earn a lot of money. A lot is a bit too informal, they earn very much money. In any company spelling, the capitalization is no women. Subject verb agreement is problematic. In any company, there are no women who earn more than male males with S. The result of investigators show that promotion favor men. This is actually also a subject verb problem, as well as two capitalization issues. Then the student has a man. I think this must be a mistake because the original could not have said man. It should be men. Some men want to be more open, expressive and caring from academic encounter. This is completely wrong. It should have been. Williams, Brown Andhd 2012, and then the page on which it appeared, maybe something like page one d two. This is completely unacceptable. Then the student continues to say, Barbara Stocking said, the process of selection is about whether a woman is tough enough. I should be one man with a woman, is tough enough. Then the never the student needed another set of quotation marks over there. As well as page number. These are very basic mistakes. The students should have fixed that. That is why male always in charge. Missing word, that is why males are always in charge, I assume. Therefore, spelling mistake, you say males face you can say males face advantages in the workplace. Another capitalization mistake. This is just to demonstrate that sometimes students submit work, which is really careless and a few more minutes revising and rechecking would have saved them so many would have saved everybody a headache and would have resulted in higher marks. So it's worth scheduling in some time just to go back and just to re read your paragraph and check whether everything is good to go. 16. Editing symbols: Welcome back. In this session, we will quickly discuss editing symbols. Editing symbols are used to indicate mistakes in academic writing. There are shorthand so that we can avoid writing everything out. For example, instead of writing spelling, above every problematic wrongly spelled word, we can just add SP. I like editing symbols because they are clear and quite detailed, perfect little labels to identify specific problems. Some lecturers or some systems, some institutions use editing symbols all the time. The editing symbols can be different for every institution. But for this course, we will use this simple list WW means wrong word. For example, please be quiet that should be quiet. Word form. She is happily word choice. Your wife is your lifelong accomplice. One of my students actually wrote this in an essay. Cal means colloquial or informal language. I want to make a lot of money after school. RO is run on. It's a cold day, I wear a scarf. The run on occurs on the com fragment. Running a race tomorrow. There's a subject missing or there's a verb missing. Subject verb error. The change of seasons brings flu every year. Okay. The change of seasons brings flu every year. I think this is actually correct. I should say season, new seasons, perhaps to make it wrong. Let me just quickly make this wrong. New seasons brings. Now it's wrong. Because seasons has an S should not have an S. New seasons bring flu every year. Redundant or unnecessary information. We were very delighted. Delighted is already very. You do not need this word very. It's redundant. P is spelling. C is a capitalization mistake. It is my dream that should be a small D P is punctuation mistake. I have a full time job. There should be a dah. C is content error. No one has ever walked on the moon. That's factually wrong. It's a content error. Mi, missing information. The lecturer was unhappy, the student. There should be a word, something like with the student. If there are some of these that you don't understand, don't worry, we'll get to them soon. Now it is your turn. Please download the attached word file. This is the example we discussed in session 14. See which of the issues we discussed can be converted into editing symbols. Instead of writing spelling or spelling and capitalization, run on sentence, you can just use the small symbols as a shorthand. The purpose of this activity is to get all your analytical brain functions activated. The idea is not to get everything perfect yet. Please also download the list of editing symbols and use it to complete this activity. I'm going to give the solutions now, please pause and complete before continuing. These are the solutions. Again, I'll be explaining all of these things in more detail later in the course. Here are a few more examples if you're interested and if you can read it, it's a bit small. I'm not going to read at all and a second slide. Feel free to read them if you're interested. A 17. Outro; take-away checklist: criteria for a good paragraph: We've reached the end of the body paragraph section. So well, the, I hope you enjoyed it. And that you understand it all. We'll be moving on now to the part about transitions. See you in the next section. 18. PART 3 ~ TRANSITIONS : Transitions, also known as cohesive devices are helpful words which link your sentences and paragraphs together smoothly. So we use them all over academic essays and assignments. Transitions are there to help your reader to understand your argument and to help them to interpret your ideas. In our hamburger metaphor, the transition would be like the source or the condiment, which the whole thing together. Okay. Transitions are also like little bridges, which carry over an idea from one sentence or idea or paragraph to the next. For example, consider this excerpt. Success, which is easily obtained is often short lived. It has been seen that winners in gambling squander their wealth in a matter of weeks. People who slowly build up a business or enterprise tend to enjoy more lasting success. It is better to grow adventure slowly until it is an established success. With transitions, however, the paragraph is stronger and more readable. Success, which is easily obtained is often short lived. Time and again, it has been seen that winners in gambling squander their wealth in a matter of weeks. On the other hand, people who slowly build up a business or enterprise tend to enjoy more lasting success. Therefore, it is better to grow ventures slowly until it's an established success. Not only do transitions help with the flow of ideas, but they also bring meaning into your writing because they show how the ideas relate to one another. 19. Types of transitions: Welcome to the session where I'm going to introduce the different types of transitions. I'm sure you've noticed from the previous example in the previous session that there are different kinds of transitions and that each transition comes with a different association and prepares your reader for things like the continuation of an argument. This is where you use transitions like moreover, comparison between ideas such as on the other hand, upcoming conclusions, for example, and opposition to what came before, such as however. For example, once again, the Canadians who were forced to retreat. Where's the transition. Over there. Once again. It indicates a location within time. They recognized in him a born leader. Therefore, they obeyed without a word when he gave instructions in the crisis. Where is the transition? Yes, therefore. This transition shows that a conclusion is about to be reached. It is raining today. Because I forgot my umbrella, I am not enjoying myself. Where's the transition? That's right, because I have a full schedule today. First, I have two classes. Then I teach all afternoon. Finally, I see an old friend for coffee. A few transitions. There we go. Three of them. My friend and I have many things to catch up on. For example, we will talk about our experiences of varsity life in all a busy day. For example, is the transition. In this part of the course, I'm going to devote a little session to each type of transition. It's going to be very easy, so we're going to go through each type quite quickly. But please do each activity as it will give you some practice in the skill of using transitions. Okay. Oh, I missed one in all in all a busy day. Let's activate some background knowledge. There's an activity which is attached, which you can do, and this is to sort the transitions into the available categories. Please download the list of transitions only when you're done. 20. Type 1: To Add: Some transitions are used to add information. For example, these include and again, besides equally important, finally further furthermore, nor not only two, next, lastly, what's more moreover, in addition. An example of these transitions in use is my sister enjoys birthday parties. She's not only good at picking presents, but she also enjoys people in excitement. Those two words really enhance the paragraph. It is now your turn, please download the attached word file and use the list of two add transitions to improve the flow of the paragraph. I will now give you a possible solution. So please pause and complete the activity before continuing. Here's the example you had and here's a possible solution. Each time a transition is used to add more information. There are a good number of little activities and little lessons coming up. Each time I'm going to give you a category of transitions and then some examples and an activity. We're going to go through them quite quickly, but please do each activity because it will help you to feel comfortable with using transitions. 21. Type 2: To Compare and Contrast: The second group of transitions are used to compare and contrast. For example, the swan is in great contrast to this seabird. For example, whereas, but yet, on the other hand. However, nevertheless, on the contrary, by comparison, compared to up against balanced against, although conversely meanwhile in contrast. If there are some of these you are not familiar with, feel free to go and Google their definition. For example, my brother, on the other hand, hates parties and avoids them whenever possible. Please download and complete the attached activity. 22. Type 3: To Prove: Some transitions are used to prove a point or to elaborate on a point. These are the examples because for since for the same reason, obviously, evidently, furthermore, moreover, besides, indeed, in fact, in addition, in any case, that is. For example, evidently, our family has diverse opinions when it comes to part please download and complete the attached activity. 23. Type 4: To Show Time: The next group of transitions are used to show time in your writing. For example, Jane procrastinated all week. Soon, her workload was completely overwhelming. Your turn, please download and complete the attached activity. 24. Type 5: To Repeat: Some transitions are used to repeat information or ideas. These are the examples. In brief, as I have said, as I have noted, as has been noted. This last one is very passive, so the voice of the author is not that clearly discernible. For example, as has been noted, Jane faced a considerable workload by the end of the week. Okay. So please complete the attached activity, and I'll see you in the next sition. 25. Type 6: To Show Sequence: Some transitions are used to show sequence and these are very important in structuring your writing. Examples of this kind of transition. First, second, third, etc, ABC, etc. I actually grade that one out, ABC because in many essays that would be out of place. It would be, it would not be the conventional way of structuring an essay unless your lecturer likes the style. So just check with them. Great words to structure your writing. For example, there were simply not enough hours in the day to finish all the work waiting for her. Consequently, Jane suffered a nervous breakdown. Please look at the attached paragraph, which is ambiguous with our transitions. There is little or no sense of sequence over time. And it sounds like everything is happening at once. Provide transitions to give the paragraph more sense of sequence or parsing time. So please pause and complete and press play when you're ready for the solution. Possible solution. After his motorcycle accident, Jason's process of recovery was a slow 1. First, he had to stabilize enough to leave the hospital. Next, he had to attend extensive t and physiotherapy sessions. Simultaneously, he was faced with the challenge of learning to operate a wheelchair. Finally, he was able to start working with crutches and consequently, regarding irrigate, his ability to walk. Therefore, the journey was a slow and painful one. Okay, and of course there are many answers, but this is the one I came up with. 26. Type 7: To Emphasise: Other transitions are used to emphasize a quite examples are definitely extremely obviously. In fact, indeed, in any case, absolutely positively, naturally, surprisingly, emphatically, unquestionably without a doubt, certainly undeniably without reservation. For example, obviously, time management is of crucial importance at university and college. Okay, once again, it is your turn. Please complete the attached activity. 27. Type 8: To Give an Example: Some transitions are used to give an example or illustration. These would be, for example, for instance, in this case, in another case, on this occasion, in this situation, take the case of to demonstrate, to illustrate as an illustration. For example, there are a number of aids in organizing your time. For instance, diaries, apps, Gantt Charts, then self and reminders are useful. Gotten, please complete the attached activity. And I will see you in the next session. 28. Type 9: To Summarise or Conclude: Let's discuss some transitions which summarize and conclude or bring to an end. For example, in brief on the whole. Summing up to conclude, in conclusion, as I've shown, as I've said, hence, therefore, accordingly, thus as a result, consequently. For example, in conclusion, I will reiterate that time is your most valuable asset at university. Okay, Your turn. Please download the attached toward file and insert appropriate transitions into the following paragraph. I will also give you the possible solution now. So please pause and complete the activity before you continue. Okay, So I identified two spots where a concluding transition would have worked. And as you can see, I have indicated all the possible answers in those spots. So if you had one of these excellent, if you had something different that also works. 29. Type 10: To Show Identity: Almost there guys. Transitions to show an entity or to specify something. For example, in other words, namely, that is I0, which is kind of shortfall. In other words, I mean, for example, for instance, and specifically, for example, analog resources should not be too lightly abandoned in our digital age. Specifically, I think that books are an indispensable aid in education. So here we begin by stating a larger idea and then you specify, make it more specific by using this transition. Once again, your turn, please complete the attached activity. 30. Type 11: To Show Opposition: Other transitions are used to show opposition. Okay, where's that show up position are, but however, while instead, nevertheless, on the other hand, in contrast, for example, on the other hand, the internet has helped many students to become self-taught and independent learners. Okay, and please download and complete the attached activity. 31. Type 12: To show Cause and Effect: Finally, we get to transitions which show cause and effect. Cause and effect is basically something happened. So something else happened as a result. So you have these transitions to work with. For example, as a result, a balanced use of resources is required in education. Your turn. Please complete the attached activity, then that'll be all for this section. 32. Outro: We've reached the end of transitions. Well done. I hope you enjoyed that a bit and that you are now confidence in using transitions in your writing. Please use them liberally but intentionally, because effective use of transitions will take your writing to the next level. 33. PART 4 ~ INTRODUCTION AND CONCLUSION PARAGRAPHS: In section 2, we learned all about writing strong body paragraphs. Okay, So body paragraphs are useful for the big middle part of your essay. But you can't use a body paragraph to begin or to enjoy. Say, you need an introduction and a conclusion paragraph for that. And they need to be treated with Special K to ensure that everything works out in your essay. So there are actually quite similar to one another, introduction and conclusion. And quite easy to write once you know all the requirements. I'd like to give the University of the Free State credit for this outline and to thank them for the permission to use it in this course. So in this section, we'll be focusing on how to write the introduction and conclusion paragraphs of an essay. 34. Good introduction paragraph structure: Hi everyone and welcome back. In this session, we're going to discuss good introduction structure. All right, so here you can see the suggested introduction paragraph structure because at the very beginning of your essay. So this is an introduction paragraph. Alright, it introduces the entire essay. It's almost like the topic sentence of one of our body paragraphs. In a way it's almost like a set of Russian dolls. So the biggest doll is the essay. The introduction is the head, the body, and in the conclusion. And when you open the Russian Doll, the body paragraphs also have an introduction, body, and conclusion. So let's go back to the big picture and talk about the introduction paragraph of the essay. Very importantly, whatever you predict in this introduction section, must come through in the rest of the essay. So for example, if the introduction says, we will, we will be discussing whether in this essay, then that is what you should talk about for the rest of the essay. But if you predict, must control. There are three elements within the introduction. Background information, thesis statement, and your roadmap. Okay, Let's dive in and talk about each of them individually. So the background information goes at the very top of your essay. It's general. So it's, it's quite broad and it's vague. It's fine if it's vague. For example, if our essay is going to be about weather and you can say whether is very important in the lives of human beings and their animals, and the plants and whatever. Okay. So it must still be relevant to your main point to then go so broad and say, the solar system is very interesting. Okay? The background information provides a frame of reference reader. Okay, So it orients or gives the bigger picture. It's also good to include a hook inside the background information. So hook is interesting little tidbit of information which grabs the reader's attention. So let's take an example of some background information. If the prompt was, is the regular consumption of coffee beneficial or not? Defend your viewpoint using relevant to academic sources. If that was the prompt, he could have said something like this in the background information to the millions of people worldwide who consume coffee on a regular basis. It is a comfort drink, caffeine fix, a social resource, and oral hobbying. 2020, the international coffee organization found that Europe conceived the worst coffee, followed by Asia and Oceania and then North America. And they will have a reference and as well. All right, so this is a good chunk of background information because it gives the big picture. It does include statistics and or interesting facts. It is quite vague. Which is alright. It has a catchy first sentence, also known as a hook. Okay, so there we have a prime example of some nice broad background information to introduce the entire essay about coffee. Secondly, we have the thesis statement. All right? So a thesis statement is a sentence which gives the central idea of the essay and indicates your purpose. Perfectly. It must be a little bit contentious. So this is an example of a good thesis statement. Coffee is more beneficial than it is detrimental. Some people, I think many people will disagree with that. So this topic is definitely contentious, which is a good thing. Your thesis statement must be a small but powerful idea, which is going to inspire the whole essay. Alright, It's like I've sung, one match can start an explosion. Another thing you should ask yourself is, is there enough evidence for this thesis statement? So if you've inserted something like the sky is most undoubtedly green, then you're going to have a very hard time in the rest of your essay to back that up and find evidence, find scholars who actually said the same thing. So this statement should be truth, it should be true. So that you will find enough evidence later on in the thesis statement muscles, or show your opinion. So if you think coffee is very good for you, then include that in the thesis statement. The thesis statement is also the first appearance of your argument. And we're going to discuss this argument concept soon, is a very important concept. But before we get there, I just want to say the thesis statement is not the same as the title. The title goes on top of the whole essay, and it's completely separate from the introduction paragraph. So for this essay, the title could have been something like the benefits of coffee. So it's just a phrase. The important words are capitalized. It's just the title is not a full sentence. Let's talk about argument. Alright? So your argument is like a golden thread. It goes through the entire essay. And everywhere you must see it featuring again and again in the sentences and paragraphs. This is a very important skill to learn when you're writing academic essays. So for example of the beginning, the golden thread in the introduction about coffee, you see it's surfacing again in the body paragraph. One way maybe you'll talk about the disadvantages of coffee. Then in body paragraph to the golden thread is very prominent. We talk about the advantages of coffee. Then when you get to the conclusion, the thesis argument or the golden thread, is still very strongly featured. And you say, I told you so. So all through your entire essay, the golden thread, we're running. The last component of the introduction is the roadmap. So it's just like a normal roadmap. It tells you where you are going. It gives the reader some kind of indication. We are headed in your essay. For example, roadmap for the coffee essay will be something like. In this essay, I will discuss the disadvantages and advantages of drinking coffee on a regular basis. Okay? And within this roadmap, which is going to go in this, these two blocks that you are already showing the reader. Okay? Body paragraph one is going to be about the disadvantages of coffee. Body paragraph two is going to be about the advantages. All right? So it's basically just a sentence telling the reader, okay, sneak peak. This is what's going to happen in the rest of the essay. Okay, So you might be wondering now, where do I get the information to put into these three categories? Alright, background information you can get from the Internet or from the class textbook. The thesis statement, on the other hand, comes from the prompt, right? So the prompt is there a big essay question? And in the roadmap, you get your ideas from the mind-map which you made for the planning of your essay. You pick the two strongest ideas for your two paragraphs and give the sneak peek here in the roadmap spot. I hope you still with me. Here are two quick questions. Check up on yourself. Firstly, should the introduction paragraph structure be the same as the hamburger body paragraph? The answer to that is no, it should not. It has a very unique structure. Second question, name the three parts of the introduction or introductory paragraph. The answer to that is background information, thesis statement, and roadmap. In the next section, I'm actually going to compose an introduction paragraph from scratch using the Finding Nemo theme. So I hope you have watched that movie. If you haven't, here is a quick summary for you. 35. Example: This session, we are going to do a practical example of an introduction paragraph. So let's have a look at the imaginary prompt. Discuss the underlying social values of any Pixar Animation of your choice. Okay, So underlying social values is what kind of philosophical undertones can you recognize in this pixel level? Okay, so I said we were going to do an emo. And it's put a nice picture in the middle there. Okay, so now I'm going to, I'm going to think of some ideas here, right? So I'd say in finding EMA, we can find a lot of friendship. You can find plenty of friendship. And then I'd say the nuclear bond is very strong between Marlin pneumo and Carl nuclear bond. So the straw, let's have another idea. Marlin has many phobias. And if you are a Freudian, you'd probably say that's madness. Just a random idea. That's the kind of things I do in scholarly situations. Okay, and then I'd also say some patriarchy. That's where the father is very important figure. Alright? So we have these basic ideas for our essay. Let's see if we can find some sub ideas under this. Alright? So I'd say Marlin is very persistent in finding his son. So it's a resilience maybe. I hope that's correctly spelled. Okay. And just the fact that Nemo's called MIMO is also indication of the strong family bond because that was lost wish of the mother, as you might say. All right. Friendship. Obviously we have Dory. Alright, and then underneath patriarchy we could say Marlins predictiveness. I don't even know if that's a word, but anyway, and his sacrifice for his son. All right, phobia, madness. I don't like this idea very much. So if I had to narrow down our choose, you just get a different color. I will choose nuclear bond because that's a very strong theme throughout the movie. And maybe patriarchy because that's kind of nice and scholarly. So these are the two big categories I'm going to make, which I'm going to turn into body paragraphs. Right? So let's convert this to outline. So for the background information, I'm just going to say vague NEMA effects. Such as the year it was made and its popularity and made by Pixar. Those are some nice vague background ideas which we can use. Thesis statement, very important. So it can be something about an email finding the mom is do it like that. Shows high regard for family unit and patriarchy. Okay, because remember, the prompt was discussed underlying social values of any Pixar Animation of your choice. So finding the most when I chose, and it shows high regard for family unit and patriarchy. Those are social underlying social values. All right, and then the roadmap. So I have already decided I'm going to do about nuclear bond and about patriarchy. So now I can just insert those strong bond. Sorry for that spelling mistake. Let me know. And Marlin. Okay. And then in the next roadmap section, I'm going to say Marlins evolving role, Is that okay, That's the patriarchy part. So there we have it. We have the outline which we can now convert into paragraph format. This is a first draft, right? So we're going to start with some vague name effects. So Finding Nemo, Let's put them in italics since it's a title. Finding, Nemo is 2003. Pixar Animation. This is our background information. Okay. It is, well, he loved by millions of children and adults. All right, that's our background information. Now we go to the thesis statement. In its underlying narrative structure, we are busy incorporating the thesis statement now. I think demonstrates high regard for the family unit and traditional patriarchy. Right now I get to the roadmap in this essay. Has served liminal. That means underlying familial. That means family message of the film. Be investigated by first discussing the strong nuclear bond between Marlon. And secondly, changing approach towards father or as father. Okay, so as you can see, we have background information, thesis statement and roadmap. The background information I found on the Internet. The thesis statement comes from the prompt and the roadmap comes from my mind map. Okay? Firstly, alright, so there shouldn't be any news, new lines, so I'm just going to do that. And there you have it. First draft of my introduction paragraph. Okay, so now it's your turn. Please download the introduction outline which I've attached for you, and then pick a prompt from the list and go through the whole process of making a mindmap and outlining and drafting. Alright, so let's have a look at the prompts. Some interesting essay topics you can choose from. Okay, what's making this activity difficult is the fact that you're actually planning a whole essay in order to write just the introduction. Okay, so it's not easy. Please pause now and complete that e-tivity. If you manage that, excellent and Weldon, if you struggled a bit, don't worry about it. We will be getting more practice in the actual essay writing section. Now you know what it takes to write an effective introduction paragraph. 36. Good conclusion paragraph structure: Okay, Hello everyone. Welcome back. We're going to do good conclusion structure in this session. All right, so if you've done the introduction and we get to the conclusion. And as you know, the conclusion is at the end of the essay. So the conclusion is your last chance to say something it should feel final. European can show through again. It's a whole Golden State concept, okay, and no new information at this stage. As you can see, we have Concluding transition. We have a restatement of the thesis and we have a summary of reasons, which is similar to the roadmap. I think we should quickly compare the introduction paragraph to the conclusion paragraph. In many ways they are similar. So the background information is left out obviously in the end. Since you've been talking about this topic for a long time. However, the thesis statement features again in the conclusion. Since you have to restate your thesis. And the roadmap which you had in introduction is going to feature again in the conclusion where you give a summary of everything we've been discussing. Okay, so let's look at the very first box here, concluding transition. That's the first step. These are words like thus. Therefore, in conclusion, as has been shown, the concluding transition indicates that this is not final. Step 2 is going to be a restatement of the thesis. For example, in our coffee saga, we had coffee is more beneficial than it is detrimental. That was our original thesis in the introduction paragraph. This now becomes in the conclusion. As has been shown, effects of coffee are predominantly beneficial. Same idea, different words, okay, and they, we have the computing transition as has been shown. This gives a very nice sense of closure. Step 3 is a summary of reasons or a repetition of Roadmap. Okay, So you have two options when you dealing with this block, right? The first option is to repeat the roadmap, and this is going to be quite short. The second option is to give a short summary of the findings in the two body paragraphs, which is going to be longer. So an example of repeating the road map would be like, Okay, I said coffee was better and in this essay I discussed the advantages and then I discussed the disadvantages. Simple. The other one is to give a short summary of the findings. Okay. This is going to be longer because you're going to have to say, all right, I found that coffee is good for you because it could consume metabolism, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I found that is also detrimental because Over the high caffeine contained, blah, blah, blah. So you give all the reasons you had in the two body paragraphs. That's what it's going to be longer. Okay. Let's continue with this. Step three. The personal, your personal opinion should be present. Once again, this is the golden thread we've been talking about. For example, while there are strong arguments for both the benefits and disadvantages of coffee, the good certainly outweighs the bad. So the eye can clearly see the author's opinion. He or she thinks coffee is good. Okay. The golden thread featuring for the very last time. Okay, Let's have a few more tips for the conclusion. Firstly, it should be well-written. So it's very important that you leave a good impression with your lecturer. Because let's face it, a lecturer mocking 200 essays in the middle of the night is losing some perspective, as you can see for Lady. All right. Second tip. No new information in the conclusion, right? It should be tying up all the loose ends. Sort of a nice knot of information. Nothing new here. Third tip. This is an advanced option which you have, which is to discuss the implications of your argument or thesis or idea. All right, so at the very end, if you are confident in your essay writing skills, you can include implications. Now, right? So let's take our famous coffee example and add some implications. Therefore, it is unnecessary for people to feel guilty about drinking moderate amounts of coffee. Instead, it's health benefits should be more universally celebrated. So instead of just saying, I discussed advantages and disadvantages, you actually also say how people can apply the information from your essay in their lives. Okay, Here we have the table again of where to find information. So to concluding transitions there you will find many ideas to restate your thesis. As we said, you paraphrase that thesis statement in the introduction paragraph. Quite easy. And in the summary of reasons, two options you can paraphrase the roadmap, all summarized the evidence from the body paragraphs. So I hope that was clear and I'll see you in next session. 37. Example: Hi everyone, welcome back. In this session, we're going to do a practical example of a conclusion paragraph, just as we did with the introduction. And we're continuing with the Finding Nemo female. So this is going to be quite easy since we already had the brainstorming as well as the outline and the draft. Now, we basically just have to apply the theme to the conclusion paragraph. So as we saw in the previous lesson, the conclusion would just be concluding transition, restatement of the thesis and summary of reasons. Let's apply this to the finding newer theme. Okay, I'm not going to type everything out in this session. So I just decided the concluding transition would be, it has been shown that every segment of the pieces would be finding the mode is pro family and probe patriarchy. That's a paraphrase of this sentence in its underlying narrative structure, Finding Nemo demonstrates high regard for the family unit and traditional patriarchy. Paraphrased, this would be Finding Nemo is pro family and pro patriarchy. Summary of reasons in this outlines step, I'm not going to type everything out. Just going to say summary of body paragraph one, summary of body paragraph 2. And as you know, we've never actually done this together. So I'm just going to work according to what I imagine the two body paragraphs would have been. But while you still planning your welcome Just to put this summary of body paragraph. So I'm literally not gonna do any more than that. That's just my note to self. That's what I wanted to do in my conclusion paragraph. Okay, so next, convert your outline to a paragraph. I'm not going to type it all. So this is what I've written. Thus, it has been shown that finding lemur contains strong pro family and Pope patriarchy sentiments. And that comes from the transition and the restatement of the thesis. Then we have the summary of body paragraphs, Marlins, perseverance in Finding Nemo as well, his his decision as a single dad to honor the wishes of his late wife by naming his son Nino demonstrate strong underlying familial values in the film. So that is a small summary of the entire body paragraph one, which we've never done, but I did it in my imagination. Second body paragraph summary. Two main factors, namely Marlins particular liveness and his sacrificial love for NEMA, similarly indicate an underlying subscription to patriarchal values. Okay, So they have the nice mini summary of the two body paragraphs. And this works very well as a conclusion. So let's add an implication sentence just for fun. Therefore, it may be said that pixels Finding Nemo expresses sentiments which are predominantly old school and which do not subscribe to the current postmodern spirit of feminism and the D constructionism of familial integrity. That's just me having some fun. But as you said, it's not always necessary to discuss implications in the conclusion. So now it's your turn again. Please download the conclusion outline and then use the introduction you wrote in Section 35 along with your brainstorming and outline to compose a good conclusion paragraph. Just as we did with NEMA example just now. 38. Outro: All right, thanks so much everyone for listening. I hope you enjoyed the examples and that you are now more confident to write introduction and conclusion paragraphs for your essays. I'll see you in the next section where we finally put everything we've been learning together into an essay. 39. PART 5 ~ THE ACADEMIC ESSAY: putting it all together : Welcome back. In this section, we finally get to what we've been aiming for all this time, where we put everything together into an essay. So this is going to be quite a long lesson. And a cup of coffee might be a good idea. Let's start by activating some background knowledge. What do you already know about essay writing? Please use pause and play to answer each true or false question. The main purpose of essay writing is to tell imaginative narratives or stories. False ASSR, most often written in schools, colleges and universities, and our academic in nature. And ESA is one solid block of writing from start to finish. False. And SA contains many paragraphs with empty lines between each paragraph. An essay usually focuses on a single subject. True? The majority of essays focused on a single subject. When you're writing university essay, you're expected to express your own opinion. True? At university or college lecturers usually look for your own opinion in your essay. It is good to write one draft of an essay. Peso a draft is like a one version. This is false. It is good to write several drafts, each of which is an improvement on the last. The thesis statement is the main idea of your essay. This is true. The thesis statement tells your reader what the essay will be all about. The thesis statement and the title of the essay will be identical. False. Thesis statement is a full sentence, but the title is usually only a phrase or sentence fragment. The introductory paragraph is very important in any essay. True, along with the essay body and the essay conclusion. An introduction is an essential component. The conclusion section will often contain several new ideas. This is false. No new information should be present in the conclusion. Your facts, evidence, and examples are given in the body section of the paragraph. True? This is their rightful place. It is necessary to pay attention to formatting, such as font size, spacing, and indentation. True. Formatting is important in most institutions. Well done. This part of the course is going to be all about the essay. Because of all the preparation we've done so far is going to be quite easy. We will be doing an entire cycle of mind-map, outline and then first draft together. But let's actually start by discussing the types of essays out there and how they all follow the same basic structure. Even though they can have many different purposes, such as persuading, arguing, or comparing. So this should be very familiar to you by now. In this course, we've done the introduction, we've done the conclusion, and before that we did the body paragraph structure. Here's an old graphically used in my teaching career. So they have all the separate little components of an essay. And essays always have some sort of introduction, some sort of body, and some sort of conclusion or altro section. Okay? These components will be present in all basic University it says. Now there are other types of academic writing, such as case studies, reports, reflections, or low law documents. But in this course we're only going to talk about the generic academic essay. So the basic structure of a generic essay is going to be the same. Introduction, body, and conclusion. And this is the same in almost all essays. Very importantly though, the purpose can be different. So sometimes your lecturer wants you to persuade your reader. Sometimes they expect you to argue something, to compare or contrast, explain, discuss, reflect many purposes, okay? And there are different for each essay. The purpose needs to be very clearly understood every time so that your essay does not end up explaining whether it should have been comparing or persuading when it should have been reflecting. I will now discuss four major groups of aims for essays. Aims or purposes, you don't have to memorize the different groups. That's not important. The important thing is to be able to understand the purpose of every essay which you get at the university. Okay, let's do an example to illustrate each group. Firstly, you get explanatory or discursive or expository essay writing. Let's take an example. If you study Bachelor of Arts, you might elect the history module where the prompt that give you maybe something like describe the rise of the middle-class between 1700 and 1800. Okay, there we have a picture of the middle-class. This basically indicates an essay where you're going to give a balanced account or explanation of how things developed. This kind of essay is systematic. It needs a logical discussion and lots of facts are usually mentioned. The second category of essays is personal or reflective essay writing. So for example, in studying something like education, he might get a prompt like this in your practical module. What were your experiences in teaching practice this semester? Describe your impressions in detail. This reflection should consist of at least 1200 words. So basically our lecturer expects you to tell a story or to relate your experiences, thoughts, and emotions. And this kind of essay is usually written in the first-person. The third category of essays is argumentative or persuasive essay writing. Maybe you study something like economics. The prompt could be, as we have seen, the semester, that often follows in the wake of credit card mismanagement, write an essay which convinces readers to avoid misusing credit. They can see your credit card. So the word convince here gives you a clue that the lecturer wants you to write an argumentative or persuasive essay. The objective with this kind of essay is to persuade others to adopt your stance or opinion. It should be very logical and well argued. And you should mention the different sides of the debate, even the side you disagree with. Another aspect in this category is to compare and contrast. So some essay prompts will ask you to compare and contrast one argument with another. So in this example that would be compare and contrast date with avoiding data altogether. Final category, case study, example analysis and response. For example, if you study something like Fine Arts, he might get a prompt like study this Jackson Pollock painting in no more than 1500 words. Comment on his use of color to convey emotion. Okay, so there we have a Jackson Pollock painting. And you are given this example and are expected to provide commentary and to demonstrate you understand the rules of the theory learned in your module. If you get this kind of prompt, you can go back to your class notes and see how this essay example applies or does not apply to the principal or the theory which you have learned in class. So these are the basic groups of purposes for essays. Remember that while essays have a million different purposes, 90 percent of the time, you will use the same basic essay structure, which is introduction, body, and conclusion, plus some transitions. If you think any assignment your lecturer gives you isn't a normal SA, that they expect some special kind of structure. For example, if you study law, please ask them what the structure should be. And as a sort of a footnote, do not forget that. Through it all, you need to constantly reference of the every distinct idea in any paragraph. You need to insert an in-text reference, okay, but more of that in the next part of the course. So now it's your turn. Please download and complete the attached monkey puzzle. 40. Preparing to write: Hi everyone. In the previous lesson, I discussed some broad categories or purposes of essays out there. So it's nice to know about those categories. But I think you would have realized that what is really important is understanding the prompt verbs or the SA instruction words when your lecturer gives you an essay to do. So, let's do a case study of a first-year assignment, paying special attention to the main verb. Okay, so here we have an assessment plan for first-year diploma at the University of the Free State is just an example. Alright, so let me zoom in and you can see the lecture explains here, assessment is in the form of continuous assessment as well as summative assessment. So basically continuous means it happens all throughout the year. Small little marks that add up. Summative assessment is the big one at the end of the exam. So here he breaks it down and says continuous assessment. In this module it would be two assignments and three tests, okay? And assignment one is accorded 30 marks and it's due in lesson 14. Okay, those are just examples. But let's look at this assignment and see how we can apply our essay writing skills here. In this assignment, you ought to demonstrate your skills in academic writing and correct research techniques. Topic music in the Middle Ages. Choose any four of the following headings or discussion, or I'm oxygen. All right, and here we have some pretty complex music history topics, okay? Regarding chant, that was a kind of music. The head Hildegard Von Bingen is an important composer in those days. Was okay. So that's an important, you are to use at least three reputable sources, including the principal textbook. Do not use Wikipedia or any other popular or open source website. And use the Harvard referencing method. Five marks for writing style. Five marks for referencing. Okay, and then the word count is 2000 to 2500 words. Okay? So how will you start here? Firstly, make sure that you find the main action verb and understand what it means. Okay? So in this case the main action verb is discussion. Discuss. Okay? There we have it. So to discuss is to list all aspects of a certain debate, mentioning things like advantages and disadvantages, which relate to the topic. So now you know, okay, students have to talk about all the aspects of the four topics they choose. Secondly, look at the word count. Do some maths, All right? Okay, so you know that you need 2 thousand to 2500 words. Okay? So now we do some maths and 2000 divided by four topics. Is 500 words per topic, near 500. Each. Topic one is going to be 500. Topic 2, five hundred, three hundred, four hundred altogether, that's 2000. Alright, and then you still have the optional 2005, the 500, 250 words for the introduction and 250 words for the conclusion. Let's say that you chose Hildegard Von Bingen as one of the topics, then you know, okay, I'm going to have to write 500 words about Hildegard Von Bingen. We see that on this side, 500 K. So let's break it up in a 100 words sections, okay? First 100 words you can do some background. For example, where did she live? Dates of birth and death. The next 100 words, you can say interesting fact number 1 plus some elaboration. The next 100 words, fact two plus elaboration. Next 100 words, factor 3 plus integration. And the final 100 words. You have a conclusion. And a 500 word paragraph is a little bit long, so maybe you can break it into two paragraphs or sir. All right. So they have the breakdown. Now it's much easier, you know? Alright, I have four big topics and I'm going to be writing a mini little essay on each of them. And I can just go and research fact number 1. She was a botanist and then get some light sources. So it becomes very easy if you break it down like this for yourself. For this assignment, you can make little headings inside your essay to help with organization. So put the next topic and then underline it. That will just look very nice and professional and help with IT organization. But normally in SAC do not underline unless your lecturer likes that style. So here's another tip I can give you. When you sit in class, listen to the lecture. You will start to realize which topics the lecturer really likes. So for example, Hildegard Von Bingen was interested in herbal remedies. So if your lecturer keeps mentioning this fact and gets all excited and story either when they talk about Hildegard and her herbal remedies. It is a very good idea to include information about this fact in your paragraph of your essay. It will just make the lecturer so much more friendly towards your essay. Okay, and then of course, you repeat this whole process with the other ones you choose. So, for example, medieval secular music, organum, and Gregorian chant. Maybe those are your topics. You'll have four mini essays within this assignment. So I think it's much easier now. You have taken the essay prompt, chocolate up into chunks and made it easy for yourself by deciding how many words exactly each idea will have and by structuring each session like a mini essay. And remember to reference through it all always, please. 41. Constructing the essay – Step 1: Mind Map: Welcome back everyone. So when you're obviously in writing your essay, you need to follow the same project workflow or the same procedure as with the different types of paragraphs we have done so far. So in other words, you need to do a mind map. You need to do an outline and the draft as you did with all the paragraphs. Okay, Let's say you received this prompt in one of your agriculture modules, discuss the sustainability of homesteading in the 21st century. Okay, so basically what this means is you have a little form and you support your own family with animals you raise or the produce you plant. Okay, So before starting on an essay, maybe you need to do some preliminary reading or YouTube rabbit holding or listening in class or asking advice. So for this topic, I asked my sister because she's a small holder and the homesteader. This is just going to give you a basic idea. So later in the process, you will begin your search for the real hardcore academic sources which you need for your essay. But in the beginning, once you have your basic idea, you are ready to make the mind-map. So just like the other mind-mapping we did, you put the essay topic in the center of the page and make one arm for each potential paragraph. So when I start thinking about this essay, I really want to have some background information, such as definitions and actual practices. What do people do in homesteading in the modern day? Okay, and then maybe I would have a paragraph on the pros. So what are the benefits and how is it sustainable? And then the cons. Why is it not sustainable or disadvantages? So the advantages of this homesteading lifestyle is that it is quiet, quiet life, and it's environmentally friendly towards both plants and animals. Plants and animals. The 0 waste and it's very good for the environment. It can be quite independent as a homesteader. And you can save money. You can save money by raising animals and produce, which is plants. Okay? Now we get to the cons, the disadvantages of homesteading. You will need some extra income. Extra income, important, because how are you going to buy toothpaste if you don't have any income? All right, so it must be commercialized in order, in order to be successful. And for it to be really cheap, you need your own land. Because imagine paying the rent and only having goats to make money off. Okay, so I'm already seeing some kind of thesis statement which I can argue here. So I think I can easily say, homesteading is not a self-sustainable income. So you do need some other extra, extra income. So that is going to be my thesis statement, I believe. Okay, So now it's your turn to make a mind map for an entire essay. So pick a prompt from the attached list, choose something that interests you, because you will be doing the entire cycle, which is mind-map outline in rough draft on this one topic. All right, so here's, here are your options. Please make a mind map in which you show the two main topics for your two body paragraphs of the essay. Just as I did now, homesteading example. 42. Constructing the essay – Step 2: Outline: The second step in planning of AC is the outline. As you already know by now. And outline is a plan of action. It is like a blueprint or the architect's drawing of the essay. It helps you to see the big picture and to plan all your building materials and costs and sources before even starting with the building. And it helps you get your essay structure straightened out before you even start. Okay? A strong essay structure makes a strong essay. The opposite is also true. A weak structure usually makes a week essay, even when your sentences and grammar are fine or even excellent. By now you already know the body paragraph very well. It's like a hamburger. All right, and you can have many body paragraphs in your essay. In our generic essay for this course, we only have two body paragraphs over there. But you can have any amount of them as many as you need in your academic essays. Then of course, the introduction paragraph goes at the beginning of your essay. You can see everyday. And of course the conclusion goes at the end of the essay. Over here. We also have some mind-map making skills. And we did this one just in the previous lesson. So the question is, how do you apply a mind map like this to a big essay? In your mind-map, you should already begin to decide on the main ideas of the body paragraphs that you want in your final essay. So in my case, this is going to be pros and cons. So now you take the outline and you look at the mind-map. You ask yourself, are these points I want to choose? True? Will I be able to find articles on the Internet or in the library that will say these same things so that I can reference them. You can do a Google Scholar search and see what kinds of sources exist for this topic. For example, let me take this quiet life idea. I can Google something like, is homesteading really peaceful? Okay, maybe it's not even true and then I don't need to include it. And if the ideas are strong and reliable, and you can find a couple of sources which will back you up in provide evidence for your ideas. Then your ideas can be promoted or transferred to the outline. Thank you once again to the unit for language development at the University of the Free State. For permission to use this outline. It's really a great structure to, for the generic essay. In the next section, I will take my homesteading my map and convert it into an outline. Please download the outline template before we continue. 43. Live outline demo: Welcome back. In this session, I'm going to take my homesteading might map and I'm going to convert it into an outline and SIR line. So just a quick look again at our roadmap. This is, these are the raw ideas I have to complete the outline with. Okay, so let's start with a title. As we said, the prompt was discussed the sustainability of homesteading in the 21st century. So I'm going to convert that into a title. This by saying, this is stained ability. Dealing in the 21st century. Very basic and easy. Alright, for the background information, I think I'm actually going to go and take these two ideas, definitions and practices, and put them into the background information slotted thesis statement is little bit tricky. So I'm going to leave it for the moment and start with road-map. Okay, So now for the roadmap, we have two big ideas already planned out, the pros and the cons. So this converted into roadmap y, term, gain is sustainable and copy that and paste why homesteading is not sustainable. So I'm going to give a bunch of reasons why that, why it is sustainable, and another bunch of reasons why it is not. Okay. Now I'm going to actually just copy and paste why homesteading is sustainable into my topic sentence, sludge over here for the first body paragraph. And here. And then I'm going to paraphrase it a little bit. There's another place you can actually apply it, and that is here. Let me do the same for the second body paragraph. So you take your basic idea, you go over to the second body paragraph, inserted into the topic and conclusions sentences. And then in the very end of the essay, he also inserted in the repetition of the road-map. Okay, So now we've already come a whole long way. There's little idea is applicable airway. Very, very helpful. Okay. So let me paraphrase a little bit. I'm stealing a sustainable life style. Is this sustainable? Can put in here. Indeed. Over here. Let me start this second body paragraph with a nice transition. However, homestead is not sustainable. Let's put in some aspects. Alright, let me start with a conclusion. For this reason. Homesteading is often not sustainable. And it's add some words here. As over here. Homesteading in sustainable MIS, convert these two sentences into one sentence. Homesteading is sustainable. Income. Homesteading is found was found. And sustainable. Is that right? Yes. Okay. So we're getting on very well. We already have all the basics in place. Now we need to go and write a thesis statement. Okay? So as I said in the two lessons ago or so, my personal opinion here is that homesteading cannot support your entire life. You need another kind of income as well. So I'm going to say stating it's not sustainable. So torn up income. All right. And then obviously this is not in paragraph form it so it's a very basic rough ideas and I'm going to mangle it so that it reads very well later on. But this is my thesis. Homesteading is not sustainable as the sole form of income. So means alone. Now I copy that. Now I'm going to paste it into the restatement of the thesis block. So let's start with a conclusion everyday concluding transition. And as has been seen, homesteading, it's just changed the wording a little bit, proved not to be sustainable as a cell phone with income. And this is my golden thread. So when I go back to the body paragraphs, I'm going to use an weave with this golden thread. Okay? Now I can see that I'm actually contradicting myself here by saying, firstly, homesteading is sustainable and then it is not sustainable. So I'm going to adapt this first idea a little bit. Okay? So I'm going to say homesteading is sustainable when used as when first sub N Min turning in. Supplementary means additional, NOT domain income. So homesteading is sustainable when a supplementary income, okay. Loosening a sustainable if if engaged to bring in. So I'm going to leave that one like that. It's not a big deal. I'm Sister, homesteading is sustainable. But when men then additional income. And then change that back into two sentences. Excellent. Okay. Now we can see that my two body paragraphs or an agreement, homesteading is sustainable but only when it's supplements in additional income and it'll form of income, homesteading was found to be unsustainable rights. And how might these, as he's working out by golden thread, is shining all through my thesis actually making sense. Okay, so now let's go to the little ideas inside the body paragraph. Homesteading is sustainable if engaged in supplementary income. So let's go back to our mind-map and find some small ideas. It's a quiet life. It's environmentally friendly. Independence. It helps you save money. The only ones I like here are the independence and the saving of money. Let's put independence last. Independent. Money helps the person hopes. Okay, So those are my basic ideas. Now let me write in some transitions, okay? Firstly and then furthermore. And not least, it helps you to be independent. Right now have the second body paragraph, which is going to be about, in some aspects, homesteading is not sustainable. So let's go back and look at our disadvantages. You do need an extra income. It has to become commercialized and you need to own land for it to work. Ideally, they need your firm has to become commercialized in order to be clean. So what that means is I need to sell my eggs and my mug in order to make some money. And that's commercialized and that's not something some homesteaders want to do, right? And then you need to earn extra income. So I think that should have been the first and reason. So let me just shift everything down and say Here, extra income is usually necessary in order to make a living. Some people probably manage. That's why I have this. Usually. Maybe they are like five people in the world who are completely self-sustainable. But this is about the general practice of homesteading. Okay, Now let's put in some transitions and then we're done. Okay? However, in some aspects, homesteading is not sustainable. This is because this is clause. Furthermore, we do have an transition already, split it over there. Ideally, it's a very good transition actually. Okay, I think I have a very good idea for the third sentence. Let's change the order. Put this in front. In order to be fully self-sustainable, your form has to be become commercialized. So in order to be, I think is fulfills the function of transition. Excellent. I really like this. Alright? When we are doing the outline referencing should also come into play. Okay, So this is the time to find some professional evidence or facts to backup your ideas. We'll talk about this in the next section. But for now, let's just add some pseudo references. Okay, help save money. There we have our scholar. He's going to help us say this. It helps to save money. This fact and this fact are very obvious. And I don't think I'm going to search for references. So let's go to the second body paragraph. Where will I need to prove myself? Extra income is usually necessary in order to make a living. That's very contentious. People will not always agree with me. So let's plan to find a reference over there. All right, there we have our pseudo reference to remind us to find a real one later on. Ideally, you need to own land, this ad, same guy over there. Because we really need to find somebody to back us up on this big claim. In order to be fully self-sustainable, your form has to become commercialized. Very big claim, only need somebody else to back me up. And so now it's your turn. Please transfer your mind-map into the empty outline. 44. Outline: most-probable-case-scenario feedback: Welcome back. Thank you for doing the outline. Now we're going to have some feedback based on mistakes that students often make at this stage. I know I can see you guys personally, but I can tell you what other students usually do wrong at this stage. Okay? So please check your outline yourself to see whether you may have made some of these mistakes yourself. First thing to ask yourself is, is my background information too specific? If your essay is going to be about citrus, fruits, like oranges and lemons, the background information should be nice and general and even vague. Something like fruit has been enjoyed by humankind since the dawn of history. So a train of thoughts, you start slowly and gently. So don't plunge the reader to a 100 kilometers per hour from the word go. Second question, difference between thesis statement and roadmap. So ask yourself, is there a clear difference between the thesis statement of an roadmap? So the thesis statement is your main idea for the essay. The roadmap, on the other hand, is a sentence which tells your reader which big topics you have chosen to discuss to prove your point. For example, the thesis statement could be, citrus fruit is among the most famous and delicious of rich families. And the roadmap could be oranges and lemons are especially prominent members of the citrus family. So the thesis statement state your opinion or main point and a roadmap predicts how you will prove your point. In the body paragraphs. If you have mainly paragraphs in your essay, your roadmap will be longer. For example, oranges, lemons, tangerines, and grapefruits are especially prominent members of the citrus family. Heard mistake, random transitions. So ask yourself, did I inserted transitions meaningfully? So please, please don't insert any old transition just to please me go. Your transitions should help the flow of each paragraph, not create hiccups. Using transitions randomly can really detract from your writing. For instance, there are many nutritious vegetables. Secondly, beans are the first to come to mind. Therefore, I'm a big fan of carrots. On the other hand, though, if you use transitions meaningfully, that will enhance your writing. If you don't, they will damage your writing. Here's the fourth mistake. So ask yourself, did I extend my list transitions into the concluding sentence by accident? Okay, so as I mentioned, topic sentences and concluding sentences are special sentences. They cannot be part of any kind of list that is going on inside your body paragraph. So do you think the final, the last transition finally, in this paragraph is well used. So finally does not work here. You could rather have used something like Therefore, thus in conclusion, like that. Okay, fifth mistake you might've made incorrect referencing. So ask yourself, was my reference incorrect? Now I know I told you to invent an imaginary source for this outline. And that's completely fine. But for real essays you should have real sources and not try to make it up because your lecture will be very quick to pick up these things. Alright, we'll talk about that in the next section. The fifth mistake you might have made is the body paragraph structure. So there you have a good hamburger model. So remember we said the topic sentence and the concluding sentence are basically the same idea, right? So don't have to completely different ideas in a topic and conclusions sentences, except if you want to use this spot, the conclusion to already start introducing the next hamburger paragraph which is coming up. That's also a possibility. Final mistake you might have made is in the conclusion paragraph structure. Ask yourself is my conclusion paragraph structure correct? Does have a concluding transition paraphrase or the thesis statement and roadmap. Remember that the conclusion paragraph is like a huge, big full stop of the entire essay. So it's good to refer back to your original goal. As we said in the thesis statement and the roadmap, it's like you're lost chance to tie down all the loose ends and say, I said I would do it and I did. So your conclusion paragraph should be completely interwoven with the rest of your essay. And it should be very strongly reminding the reader of the introduction as well as the golden thread which has been going on throughout the entire essay. I go back. I told you when. I can, That's it for this session. See you in the next lecture. 45. Constructing the essay – Step 3: Draft 1: In this session, we are going to complete the last step of our SLOs writing process. Okay, So we have done the outline, which is our blueprints, and it is now ready to convert into first draft. The first draft is also known as the rough draft, because you should try to write at least two drafts or two versions of your essay before you submit it. As we have seen with the paragraph outline so far, you need to take each of your planned phrases in the outline. For example, this, and convert it into a full sentence. Now to avoid sentence fragments, which is one of the most common mistakes people make at this stage, you need to check that there is a subject and a verb. I think we talked about this incision tin. So for example, the sentence, Nina laughs. A sentence because Nina is the subject and loves is the verb. So if you're having trouble with fragments, please watch Section 10 again. So when you start converting your outline into your first draft, you should follow your own planning transitions. Take each transition, your roadmap, your references, everything you planned should come true when you're actually starting to write. So please do not leave out the roadmap, for instance, or the repetition of the thesis. Everything has its function. So if you leave it out, it's going to cause a gap in your structure. All right, and then each block becomes a paragraph. So in the end you're going to have four blocks of text, 1, 2, 3, 4 with empty lines in between. When you go to the first draft, you need to transfer your little references as well. Very importantly, don't leave them behind. Okay, so here I will continue with my homesteading example again. I'm going to do each one underneath It's outline. Just said that we can keep track of our planning. So we planned to have some definitions firstly, okay, so scaling is, I'm going to find my Google source. There's some kind of website. It's a good website because it has an author and it has a date. We're going to talk more about that and see what she said. Ultimately, the broadest definition is that it is a lifestyle with a commitment to self efficiency here. So let's use that definition. Homesteading is a lifestyle committed to self sufficiency. When we put our little referencing there. Now, instead the morning practices. There are several ways in which modern homesteaders ran their establishment. Okay, and then we put in a thesis statement, starting with a nice transition. However, homesteading is not sustain level is so foreign income. That's my thesis. No roadmap in this, a save. And we'll explain why in sustain when entering income, but often, but is often when practiced on its own. Okay, Now we're done with the introduction. Now we continue to body paragraph one. Let's copy our planned introduction sentence, topic sentence. Homesteading is sustainable if engaged to bring in a supplementary income. Let's make that italics just to put emphasis on it. Firstly, let's say often helps with the grocery bill. Furthermore, it helps save money. Copy and paste. Not least. Post-op. Furthermore, it helps save money, not least, homesteading helps you be independent. Namely do. Indeed. This is the life style which when used to supplement. They haven't used all our planning on our transitions. And we made some adaptations as we went along. Okay, I think you've said the here or the paragraph 1. Now I go to body paragraph 2. However, homesteading is not as sustainable when crack. This is because it's used that extra income is usually necessary in order to make a living. Copy and paste exactly like that. It's a full sentence already. Second, ideally, you need to own land to do what you need to unlearn in order to get the most out of your code, you should move this reference to the end. Okay? And now it is a sentence in order to be fully sustainable. Let's copy and paste. In order to be fully self-sustainable. Your form has to become commercialized. And sum is add some kind of supporting reason they form has to become commercialized in some way, which is not a solution to the various, usually from a commercial. Let's put a reference in their reasoning to find it. Since someone 2019 ice in recent Page 2. Excellent. For this reason. Hosting is often not sustainable as a body paragraph to write. Cut and paste it. Nice and long. Good read. And I get to the final paragraph. As has been seen. And homesteading proved not to be sustainable form of income. That is our thesis again, and we've been weaving the golden thread throughout this whole essay. So it works. It is sustainable, but only when it's supplements, supplements an additional income. It is. And then we can just copy and paste the repetition of Roadmap. Okay? Perfect, right, is cut and paste this to our final essay. All right, so this isn't perfect yet, but that's good. In any essay writing process is going to be more than one draft. Before settling that as my first draft, I just want to review the prompt one last time. Discuss the sustainability of homesteading in the 21st century. So I think I answered that prompted pretty well. Let's just add this phrase somewhere. Okay. We have modern, which is already a good thing. It's added in the concluding sentence as well. Homesteading proved not to be a sustainable form of income in the control. Keep text only in the 21st century. Great, Now we have answered the prompt very well. Now it is your turn. Please convert your essay outline, which is started in Section 43, into the first draft version of the essay. So exactly what we just did. Take your outline converted into full sentences and paragraphs. 46. Draft: most-probable-case-scenario feedback; Essay formatting: Okay, welcome back. Let's have some feedback on your essays. I know that I cannot see you in person or mock your essays, but I can give you feedback based on what other students usually struggle with when they are starting to complete the entire essay. Okay, So feedback on draft one. If you were like my other students, you write some good essays, well done. But the main areas for improvement usually we're content and structure, referencing and formatting. Okay? So firstly, structure. The main reason why structure it can still be a problem, the stages because students don't always apply the blueprint. Okay? So after doing all the planning, some students forget some of the components, such as the road-map. Leaving it out will cause a gap in your structure. So, make use of all that planning. You did. A good structure and a good essay will be the result. Also, remember to use the transitions you planned, except if it's sounding forced or unnatural when it's okay to leave out some of the transitions. Second thing is content error. An example of content area would be to say the sky is green. So some students struggle now to write out the ideas in full sentences. And they struggled to find the sources they need to back up their claims. And the problem is usually the result of weak ideas that we included in the mind-map and which survived in the outline phase and made it to the first draft. So if you can't find any other scholars or academic people writing about your topic, it probably means that your idea is incorrect or invalid, like saying the sky is green. So throw out bad ideas and replace them with strong evidence. This brings us to the last point which is referencing. In order to be able to find good sources, you should screen or check each idea before allowing it to progress from the mind-map to the outline. Ask yourself each time, is this idea plausible? Will I be able to find sources which say the same thing so I can cite them, or will it cause a content error? Here I tried to search the skies green. I found some random songs, but it's not an acceptable fact. Okay? So if you find that some of your information is giving you where the Google results, then maybe it's an invalid piece of evidence. Finally, formatting. Formatting can be a problem in these essays. Formatting is basically the, the settings you have in your Word file. All these things are very important in academic writing. You should do exactly what the institution expects of you. So these are the basic formatting guidelines. Let's do all of them within a Word file to make it more tangible. Okay, so let's take our homesteading example. So first of all, you need to include your student details, such as your name, sir name, student number, and module code, a date, and maybe even the word count. At the top of the essay. These are all the details which are lecturer needs to identify you. Okay? Sometimes an institution requires a cover page, which is like a little form photocopy things that you put on every assignment and fill out. Just find out if they have something like that. Otherwise, this is fine. Okay, the font should be Arial. So select all by hitting Control a will come one day. Then you find Arial, just the regular Arial font. Arial. In most institutions, this is the font. And the font size should be 12. Select all 12. There we go. And then the spacing should be 1.5. Spacing. You find that these little arrows, and then you say 1.5, and then you can see the words go further apart. This is a legacy of the time when people still marked on hardcopy and they needed space to write alignment. You can have alignment on, lived in the center on the right. But academic writing, you should all be justified, which means it fills the entire page. A title is usually required. Insert the title, and then the essay itself. And as you can see, the title comes from the prompt. You derive the title from the prompt? Usually. Okay. And sometimes an index is required. There's an automatic function on word to help you with your indexes. It only works if you have certain heading styles. This is hitting one. This is heading 2. And let's say there was a bibliography, which is very important by the way, we should always have a bibliography hitting three. Okay, There you go to references. The tab here. At the top. You say Table of Contents. Automatic. Okay, Oops, my selector wasn't wrong space, so I say Control Z to undo. And then I go to the top and say Table of Contents automatic. They have it. The name and surname is going to be on page one. There is the heading, page one, bibliography page too, very easy. All right. Some institutions want you to have this kind of thing in each assignment. So just check that you know what the requirements are. Here are some more things to look out for. Be careful of generalization. Sudden say always or never. Homesteading is always a good idea because you always have the exceptions. Avoid having new ideas in the conclusions, okay? So don't bring in something completely random when you're busy with a concluding paragraph. Be careful of fragments. Very important at this stage, because some students are in a hurry. They take that phrase exactly as it is from the outline end, inserted into the essay itself and end up having fragments, okay? Subordinating conjunctions. So you're still going to get to, but basically, that means you start a sentence with something like while, well, I enjoy pop music, classical music is better. That while in the beginning necessitates a second part of the sentence. I call it Commerce something. While I enjoyed pop music, I enjoy classical music more. That's not really the truth, but anyway, okay, when you have finished writing your first draft, go back to the essay prompt and the main action verb. For example, discuss which you identified at the beginning and ask yourself, does this essay truly discussed the issue? Or am I doing something else? Like comparing, which is going to make my whole approach wrong. Okay. In the second draft, when you have identified the problematic areas, please fix them because some students ignore their problems and then their marks suffer because of that. The rewritten version is called the second draft. You can have a third draft. Fourth draft. As many as you like. The more the merrier. I guess. No, not really. Too many and you get a nervous breakdown. 47. Reverse outline: Welcome back. One way of discovering how something was done is to reverse engineer it. Okay? It's like when Lamborghini releases a new model and mechanical engineers and things take it apart and open it up to discover hard was designed and the trade secrets so that they can copy them. So in this session, we're going to do the same thing with an essay. Let's take this as an example. All right, just comes from Tintin, my favorite comic. All right, so on the right you have the completed rocket. If a completely strange team of scientists were to open it up and look inside, would have been able to recreate the blueprints and say, that's how they did this, that's how they did that. Let's look at this introduction paragraph example. Social media has taken the world by storm. From humble beginnings, it has grown to be a multi-billion dollar enterprise which enjoys the daily subscription of millions of people around the globe. Social media has changed the face of friendship for ever. Not only our online or virtual friendships increasingly the norm, but face-to-face interaction is declining. There's the reference, okay, since you know the introduction structure is supposed to be background information, thesis statement, and roadmap. You can figure out which sentences which this entire bit is going to be the background information. And then here's the thesis statement. And then the roadmap is obviously going to be the last sentence, not only our online or virtual friendships increasing the norm, that's going to be Paragraph 1. But face-to-face interaction is declining body paragraph 2. Okay. So over to you. Please take the time now to download the attachment and to reverse engineer this essay. Section 47, reverse outline. Please reverse engineer this essay. Find the hidden outline and label the different components. In other words, identify elements such as topic, sentence and concluding transition. Use the comments function in Word if you like. Let me show you how the function works, okay? So maybe you want to say this is the title highlighted. You go to the top here, to the tab, which is review k and you say new comment. Over here, New Comment. Then you write a grant that is the title. And in this way you can continue to label all the other components of the essay. Please pause now and complete this exercise. Okay, so now I'm going to basically give you the answers. I'm sure you read the prompt. I'm looking to read everything again. All right. Introduction. I'm sure you read at all. So let me show you what which is, Which of course this whole part is the background information. Then we have the thesis statement. And finally, the roadmap. Body paragraph one. The first sentence is the topic sentence. Last sentence is the concluding sentence, and then you have three supporting sentences inside and the three transitions. Firstly, secondly and finally, which is very good. Finally, the student did not put finally in the conclusion spot, which is a good thing. Body paragraph two, exactly the same thing. Topic sentence, concluding sentence, three supporting sentences, as well as some creative transitions in the first place. Additionally, and also. Now we get to the conclusion. In conclusion would be the concluding transition. Then we have the restatement of the thesis in the summary of reasons box. Thus author, which happened to be me, summarized. The findings in a two body paragraphs. Disadvantages involve interruptions of schema formations in the brain. While advantages include the benefit of access to instant information and communication. Brief summary of the two body paragraphs, which is good. Well done. Thank you for going through that somewhat boring exercise, which is actually very good in cementing the knowledge. Only two folders. 48. Outro; downloads: You may be wondering, well, thinking that this entire outline structure we just did is very exaggerated and unnatural. And over the top, I mean, who really writes like that with a translation in every sentence. And you would be quite right. It is rather a natural. But you can see it as a basic set of rules to rely on. So it's a little bit like cooking. When he first learned to begin savory dishes with onions. Or you learn that Rosemary and garlic go well together, or that Apple and ginger or a dream team. Then you can later break these rules and experiment with all kinds of things. Like putting a lot of sugar on chicken, which is something I actually tried today than it was quite delicious. So the important thing is to have a solid, strong structure in the back of your mind. So that's the foundation on which you can improvise and basically do anything you like. So before you go, please download the takeaway checklist for good essays. And don't worry about the points that mentioned referencing because we are going to get to that in the very next section. 49. PART 6 ~ REFERENCING: intro to plagiarism & how to avoid it; Harvard referencing: Referencing is a huge part of academic writing. Basically, referencing means to constantly give credit to the people whose good ideas you are using. So you might be wondering, why do we need to cite all these outside ideas from random academic scholars in our own academic writing. Well, for many years now for centuries, people have been doing research and have contributed to this vast scholarly collection, which is sometimes known as the scientific community. So our lives are much too short to do all the experiments and to rediscover everything for ourselves. So we are forced to read up about what others have said or what others have found out and to build our own unique research on top of all that. For example, in my master's degree, I discover new things about how music can get people to participate physically in church. So I was lucky enough that hundreds of scholars had already done research about the basics of music and psychology. So I could just build my little research thesis on top of a huge scholarly stash. So that's the idea, what you're doing if you're reference. So maybe I say something like a big base beat makes people want to jump up and down. So I didn't do the experiments, but Percy already proved this in 1997. So I just add a little reference to show where I got that information. So let's go on to how to reference. You get different referencing systems, okay? So the one I use is called Harvard. But you also get Chicago, APA, Vancouver, MLA. With each system, the formatting is going to look different. So please check which referencing style is used at your institution. And for this course we'll only be using Harvard. Now, this is an essay I wrote in my second year at university. As you can see, the structure is a bit all over the place. Let's look at my referencing. There are two main areas of referencing, in-text referencing, which happens in every paragraph, and bibliography or source list referencing, which happens at the end. I think the prompt required that we read these two sources, guarantors skin. So the big reference at the end gives all the necessary details about the source. And the small references in the paragraphs tell you, elector exactly on which pages you found the information inside of which source. So I'll be showing you step-by-step to do this kind of referencing. And I just have to tell you, universities are incredibly strict about referencing and plagiarism. And you can't even leave like one of these little colon's without it being problematic and wrong. 50. Bibliography referencing; Google Scholar: Welcome back. In this session we are going to discuss bibliographic referencing and Google Scholar. Okay, So bibliography is also known as a source list. And it goes at the end of USA. It tells your lecturer exactly which sources you used, which books, which journals, which websites. This does not include things you just read for background information. So if you read 23 books and watched 72 YouTube documentaries, just to help you get background information, you don't need to put all of them into the bibliography. Just include the ones you actually mentioned inside the essay text. Look at the size of this bibliography from a master's thesis. It's a pretty big job, which is why it's important to learn proper bibliography referencing from the start. Even though in the first year, you usually just have a handful of sources. Depending on the requirements of the lecture. You noticed that the bibliography should be sorted alphabetically. This button in Microsoft Word automatically sold your list for you. So let's go through the formula for good bibliography entries. Please download the attached Harvard Referencing Guide. If your institution uses a different referencing system, please search online for a similar referencing guide. Okay, So this is the Harvard reference style guide. It gives you a little recipe or little formula for each kind of source that you get, for example, books. And then you also get things like journals. And very valuable here is worldwide web. It tells you exactly how to reference each kind of source. So for books, Here's a single author example. This is what it's gonna look like, wildly busy citing in text. And this is what it's gonna look like in the bibliography. Okay, So this comes from the attachment, and I'm just going to show it clearly to you. To cite a book, you need to include the following information. Surname initial. So initial is basically just the first letter of your name. Second initial, which is not always the case. Sometimes the person only has one name. If they have two names. The second initial guess over here. Then full stop comma here, comma title in italics. Okay, come on, publishers. Come a place of publication. For example, car skins. Same, Come on, initial full stop comma 1997. Comma. Then a title in italics. If the title is divided into by a colon day, okay? This is the real title and that is the subtitle. Then comma and then publisher, Melbourne University press. Comma, place of publication, full stop. So do not leave out even one little comma because it's going to make a reference wrong. It has to be exactly in this formula. Now we get to journals. And journal is like a high minded academic magazine. And professors and doctors published their findings, their research in these journals. Okay, So at university journal articles or gold, they provide excellent evidence which you can cite in all your essays. So look at the bibliography references formula. This is the formula. So initial, optional second initial year. Okay, here comes a difference. The title of the journal article inside inverted commas, and then the name of the journal in italics. Okay, So for example, you can see here the Journal of Asian Studies is just one journal, but it's going to have about 10, maybe 15 different journal articles inside it. That's why we need two halves here. First the title of the journal article, then the name of the journal in italics, then the volume number. So the volume number is basically the amount of years it's been published. So volume one is the first year of publication. Volume that the 80s, the 38th year in which this journal has come out or has been published. Then the issue number without a space inside brackets. It's the number of the issue within that year. So for example, if the 20th volume of the American Journal of Science comes out twice a year, it will be notated like this. 2122. This is the first issue in the 20th year. This is the second issue in the 20th year. And at the bottom here he can see a good example where each little bit of detail is fitted into its rightful place. Next, we have the formula for citing an online source. You're going to use many of these in your first year. Probably. So. Very important to know the formula. Surname initial, optional second initial, the year. Then the title of online article also in inverted commas comma. Then you put the name of the website in italics, comma viewed on current date. That means the day on which you exit actually went and accessed that website. You need to put that date in coma from the URL. Okay, so that's the link. Okay, So those three are the most used types of sources. You can download the Harvard Referencing Guide so that you can check the requirements for other types of sources, like newspapers, DVDs, and books with multiple authors. Now that you know how to manually write the important kinds of her biography references, I'm going to show you the ultimate cheat to get the reference online. Google Scholar. So you go online and you say Google Scholar. Here it is Google Scholar. I insert something you want to search. Homesteading. There, we have it already, okay. And then you find a book here which you really like anyone to use. Not look at these little quotation marks. If you click on them. It gives you a ready-made bibliography reference for all the different kinds of referencing systems. Mla, APA, Chicago. And here's the one we want hovered. So you just click and say copy control C or Command C on a Mac. Okay, and then you go into your Word document and Control V paste. There you have it. After you've pasted it. Just remember to check the online references. I found that they make many mistakes in these references. So just check that it's exactly accurate. And it's important to know how to do this whole thing manually as well. So hard to type it all out yourself. In case of an emergency, like having no internet when you have to submit in one hour or something like that. Okay, so now it's your turn. Please have looked at the three sources in each of the attached activities. There's one of each, a book, a journal, and a website. So using the bibliography templates and the details I provide, please fill in the necessary information in order to create three perfect bibliography entries. When you're done with that, you can download and take a look at the Turnitin plagiarism detection software guide, which I have attached. 51. Your best friend at varsity: paraphrase: Welcome back. We now know how to take care of the bibliography section of the referencing. Now we get to the second area of referencing in an essay, which is in-text referencing. So intakes referencing is where you use someone else's information in your essay. And then include an in-text citation, which is like a little notification in the actual text stating way got the information from each of the little in-text references has to match up with a longer bibliography reference at the end of the essay. So when you actually mentioned someone else's information in essay, you have two options. Firstly, you can use a direct quotation. This is when you copy exactly what the original author said. For example, you go online and copy and paste sentence into essay. This is easy, but it's very dangerous. Because if you don't do it correctly, it will be seen as plagiarism or stealing someone else's work. Session 53 is going to be all about how to avoid plagiarism when you are doing direct quotation. The second way to use someone else's information is to put it into your own words. This is called paraphrasing. And we'll talk about paraphrasing in this session. Basically you rewrite the information you want to use so that it is not identical to the original source anymore. And then very importantly, you still need to insert the in-text reference when you're paraphrasing like this. Because your lecturer still needs to know where you got information from. Even if it's in your own words. Paraphrasing is more difficult to indirect quotation because you need to find another way of saying everything. But it is the kind of citation which he will use. The most, probably 70 percent of the information you use will have to be paraphrased from the original. So like everything else, paraphrasing is a skill and you'll get better at it as time goes on. For example, this might have been the original. Beethoven was the watershed separating the classical and romantic eras in music history. If you paraphrase that, it becomes, in the history of music, Beethoven is recognized as the perfect point between, between the classical and romantic periods. And then you insert a reference, the author, the year, and the page number. You should put one of these in-text references behind every distinct idea in your body paragraphs. So basically every second or third sentence we'll end with an in-text citation. That's a good thing. The more you can put it in, the better. So how do we paraphrase? Step one is to read the original carefully. So the original could be anything from a paragraph in a book or a section from an online article. Secondly, he write down the most important points. Thirdly, cover up the original and then convert, convert, or change these main points into sentences. Go back to the original and check that you have all the main points. If you missed something inserted and remember to use your own words in certain in-text citation and copy and paste your paraphrase into the essay you busy with. Ok, and a paraphrase should be about the same length as the original. So it shouldn't be much shorter and not longer. More or less the same length. Okay, so let's do a practice run together. This is all about old-fashioned classical music. That's my background. So I hope you don't mind. The English broke soloists have long been established as one of the world's leading period instrument orchestras. Old-fashioned instruments, okay, throughout their repertoire, ranging from Monteverdi to Mozart and Haydn tell equally at home in chambers and funny and operatic performances. And the distinctive sound of their warm and incisive playing is instantly recognizable. By the way, this is a case of British spelling, so it's going to be S naught as it. So I'm going to paraphrase it now using the steps. I've already read it. Now I'm going to put in the main points in this Brock soloists copy that it's easier. Firmly established, huge repertoire. That means they have many pieces. Okay? Huge, many genres. That means they can play opera, they can pass symphony, anything like that. Okay, and they are very recognizable. Tim Cook, see it's auto correcting, but I wanted to be an S because I use British English. Right? Now I'm going to convert these into full sentences. Let's change the order up a bit. So we start with firmly established and ensemble. That means a medical group. Which is firmly established in the world of period instrument. Australia's is the English Baroque soloists. Ensemble has huge repertoire, is comfortable. In many genres. Sound is instantly recognizable. Yeah, I think that's good. Let me just check if I have copied five or more consecutive words. That's a very serious mistake, or write English Brock servers. Upon reading this, I think it's a bit short. And I should perhaps include something about the composers which they are famous for playing. Okay, a huge repertoire. Playing works by Mozart, Haydn, and is comfortable in many genres, including. So I have included the details in the examples, but I have changed up the order, right? And then we need to include a reference. So the details on here, but it comes from Johnny Johnny Eric Gardner. That's the website name. I am not sure of the year. I think it's going to say something like 2018. Okay. So they can see my paraphrase. Not perfect yet, but I think you get the idea. Okay, So always remember to keep all the main ideas from the original text. So the Baroque era was an age of discovery in all art forms including music. So the highlighted parts are the important parts. And my, my paraphrase has to include every important bit. So my paraphrase was, in the Baroque period, new innovations abounded in the arts and in music. Here's another tip. Keep jargon, terminology or technical terms in the original wording. So you're going to have a very hard time finding a synonym for something like opera or symphony, or Taylor bassoon, organ. Those are all technical terms and you need to keep them exactly the same when you're paraphrasing. So as you can see here, all the important terminology is kept in my paraphrase. You'll notice that the periphery is more or less the same length as the original, which is a good sign. Okay, and then finally, I just want to share a few strategies with you to help out of tight spots. Like when you have six minutes to paraphrase a whole paragraph before class or something like that. So these tactics will help you to help to protect you from online services such as Turnitin, which as you already know, will alert your lecturer on any passages of five or more words which are copied verbatim. First little tip or trick I can give you is to change the sentence structure. Here you can see in the Baroque era is in the end. And we're paraphrase the entire sentence. It becomes the harpsichord was the heart of the Baroque orchestra. Changing the sentence structure will help you a lot. Better number to use synonyms. I'm sure you already know this, but you can find words that have the same meaning. Ok, so on the right you will see that the words in yellow are synonyms for the words. On the left. The word often are replaced with usually nobility with caught, and church with clergy. In Microsoft Word or any Microsoft program, you just right-click on the word. You go to synonyms and they get ecclesiastical clerks, clerical, religious, priestly, apostolic paypal. So you have many options. And the third method is to change the word form. So on the left you can see I said, the Baroque period saw the rapid advance of the violin as solo instrument. When I change the word form, it becomes in the barrack, the violent, rapidly advanced as a solo instrument. So by changing the word form of rapid and advance, I have a very nice paraphrase. Final method is to make use of the negative form. So instead of saying special occasions who are always accompanied by music, you can rather say, special occasions never took place without musical accompaniment. Alright, so now it's your turn. Please paraphrase this paragraph on Avengers Endgame. When you're done with it, I will provide a solution video. 52. Solution video: Welcome back. Let's paraphrase this paragraph. So the first step in paraphrasing was to read, I assume you read it. Alright, so now we should write down the most important points or highlight them. So the first important point is the name of the foam. It will mark the end of an era. It was every ten years ago when I meant kicked off. So maybe we should say something about end of a 10 year journey. Okay? And then the funnel storyline. Okay, and then this whole sentence is about, it's a very anticipated movie, so we should say something about that. Yeah, I think that's about it. Let me make a note of that. Avengers Endgame. And I want to change these into italics instead of inverted commas. Okay? Second ahead was 10 year journey. Certainly. Continuous thing else. Storyline. And then were anticipated. Can now have to cover up the original and convert these into full sentences. The Avengers Endgame is a heavily anticipated movie in April 2019. It will bring to an end a decade's worth of much, a decade that ten years. So it's a nice way to paraphrase that piece of information. A decade's worth of much enjoyed entertainment, which started all the way back with Iron Man. Fans eagerly anticipated conclusion of thicknesses. By the way, I'm going to put my apostrophe of a day because the word ends with an S Anyway. So the apostrophe goes to the end. Fans. Eagerly anticipated conclusion of thicknesses quest for the infinity stones. Okay, now have to go back to the original and check that have all the key information. We have the name of the film. Yes. Did I mentioned ten years? Yes. Did I say it was the storyline? Yes, I did say that was anticipated, decided. Okay. So I think I have all the main points. Maybe fund Django is also an important point. So let's say, according to van Django, fans eagerly anticipate the conclusion of stenosis quest for the students. Now I will insert an index preference. Either never wrote this. I'm going to make someone up with Lee 2019. And there was no page number. Okay, so I think this is a pretty good paraphrase, even though it's a little bit short. I have the main ideas and I've left out corner two examples or details, which is also acceptable. I can just copy and paste it into whatever assignment I'm Elizabeth. 53. Plagiarism, direct quotations (“”) and in-text referencing: In this session, we are going to discuss how to do direct quotation and in-text referencing. Very important lecture. So at university, blatant plagiarism is a very, very serious offense, okay? This means you copy and paste and you fail to say where you got the information. This is something I told my students. If a copy more than five consecutive words from any source, you will get 05 consecutive words means five words that follow directly after each other. This is a very serious offense and I've even done a student who was expelled from the university for doing, for copying and pasting like this. You might wonder, how do they catch students who plagiarized like this? So many institutions now use online services such as Turnitin to detect plagiarism. So basically the computer is going to read your essay and we'll identify any passages that are the same as Internet content and books on Google Books, for example. So the computer will detect phrases were five or more words are copied directly from the source. Five or more consecutive words. Okay, So how do you avoid getting injured, Getting expelled, and all of this? Because you have to use all that information. You can still use this information, but you must protect yourself with good referencing. There are two steps for protecting yourself. First step is using better commas when copying. So for instance, you want to use this source and you want to use this quote. Urban homesteaders are re-learning heirloom skills that have been abandoned in the relentless March towards convenience. Copy and paste, and put it into your assignment. So now immediately you should have red lights going off saying copy and paste, copy and paste. Very good. Protect yourself using inverted commas. The beginning of your quote and at the end of your coat. Great. Now you have protected yourself and you cannot be expelled anymore because you showed somebody else said this is not my own words, I'm not stealing anything. Second way to protect yourself is to insert an in-text reference. This is also extremely important. Since you've already shown that this comes from some way. You need to say where it did come from. So for example, you could say Smith 2007 on page five, said these words. Several more things you should know. If you copy something verbatim. It is called a direct quote. And it should be 100% the same as the original template in your own words, don't change the smallest, slightest thing. Secondly, if you do want to leave out stuff in the middle of a direct quote, insert to block brackets three periods to indicate that something was mentioned in the original, but is now missing. Third link. It is possible to copy an entire paragraph from the source. So you do not do this often, especially if the essay is very short. Copying too many paragraphs exactly from the source, even if you reference correctly and quotation marks and everything. It can still be seen as plagiarism because you're using somebody else's ideas all the time. If you want to copy a whole paragraph and you haven't done it a lot, and it's acceptable, then you can indent the copy paragraphs instead of using quotation marks. Let me show you how that works. So maybe you thought this entire paragraph was really good. And you want to use it in your essay, is a Control V. And there you have a whole paragraph. So instead of putting quotation marks at the beginning and at the end, there is another way you can reference a whole paragraph. So you double-click to select the whole paragraph, then you right-click, go to paragraph. And then you say indentation on the lift is 0.8. On the right is also 0.8. And look at that, it will becomes indented. And this also indicates that you've got this from somewhere else, then you do not need the quotation marks. But you still do need the reference. So you say Smith 2007. Page five. Full stop. Okay, so no full stop here. Okay, finally, for every in-text reference author, there will be a longer, fully written out references in the bibliography. So for example, we had all, we had Smith over here. That means in the bibliography, along with all the other people like Rheingold, you're going to have Smith author comma 2007. Then you have the title, homesteading, whatever, whatever, whatever. So you do need the entire in-text references at the end, match the one you had over here. I hope it all makes sense. Remember not to use too many direct quotations or whole paragraph quotes. Because in the end your work will be like a patchwork or a mash up of somebody else's work. Rather, you need to use little strands of ideas from somebody else to make your own story. And use a lot of paraphrasing or putting it into your own words. This will ensure that it's your own picture in the end and not just a mesh above somebody else's stuff. So now let's talk about how exactly to create an in-text reference. Say begin with a pair of parentheses or brackets. Inside you put the surname Smith and the year 2007, then a colon, and then the page number. In this case it was five, right? And then insert a full stop, usually when it's at the end of a sentence. Very simple. So now it's your turn. Please look at this excerpt. The student actually received 0 for the essay because they committed blatant plagiarism, which means they copied and pasted entire sentences without referencing. So please look at the source text and compare it with the students writing. Okay, So spot two instances of blatant plagiarism. In other words, find two places in which the student copied and pasted from the article without the protection of quotation marks. If you're interested in seeing me mark this essay, the bonus section coming up will be of interest to you. 54. Bonus: live crit of student essay: Welcome to the bonus section, where I take the student's essay and actually graded homework so that you can see the kind of reasoning that goes into mocking an essay. So the essay prompt was, in a well-constructed essay, discuss some of the advantages and disadvantages of being male in the workplace. So here you can already see the implied structure. So there's going to be one paragraph for advantages and another body paragraph for disadvantages. So let's start by checking the student's structure. So they do have an introduction which is excellent. They do have a body paragraph one, paragraph two, and a conclusion. Very good. They also have some sort of bibliography going on here, but I'm not sure whether it's correct. So let's go back to the beginning. So they do have background information, which is good. Let's look at the thesis statement. Men are strong, active, and sophisticated. On the other hand, they are made slaves. That's a topic sentence, so it is present. And I think the student does actually continue to prove that thesis. So it's quite good. It's a little bit extreme, but we said it's good for a thesis statement to be contentious. So I guess it can work. I have no problem with the roadmap is quite good. So let's just talk about the small issues here quickly. In the postman. Whenever disadvantaged, only women were disadvantaged. Okay. This is not strictly true. And as I told you, it's dangerous to generalize. So I'm going to say here, Jin or generalize right in there a couple of run on sentences. In the postman whenever disadvantaged, only women were. Okay, here we have a run on sentence starting the second. The thesis statement also has a run on inside. Men are strong, active, and sophisticated. Also a run on sentence. On the other hand, they are made slaves. And let's go into the two body paragraphs. Okay, So they had a nice transition here firstly, and then a corresponding one here. Secondly, which is excellent. Let's have a look at the structure of the first body paragraph. Firstly, men are sometimes advantaged, run on. They are usually in the good books with the manager because of their work. Moreover, okay, this is a problematic transition because as we saw firstly, relates to secondly, it doesn't start a list here. Therefore moreover, is still continuing with the list which is nonexistent. So this is not a good transition. It should have been something like in the first place. Then they have some content to which is alright. And then let's see the conclusion sentence. As I have said, good transition. They are not likely to get in trouble with the boss. Okay, that can work as a paraphrase of the topic sentence. Let's look at the content. They are the more, the most hardworking employees. That's generalization. Because women can also be quite hard. Much work takes place on the golf course, cause at football matches and other male-dominated events. Okay, here we have the big mistake which the student made. This was copied from the source without including quotation marks, right? So this counts as latent plagiarism. Because of this, the student received 0 for the essay. Very, very serious mistake. They usually earn more than women. This is a nice fact. It would have been better if there was a reference in here. Also, they generally have a ginger self-esteem and more confidence, Williams, Browne, and hood. Here there is a mistake because there is no date. Date. Therefore, they come to work late knowing that they will not be tastes or fired because they are needed. It's not necessary to include this redundant file would have been fine. And then the students should have indicated that this is an example. Let's continue to the second body paragraph. Secondly, may know sometimes disadvantages, disadvantaged in the workplace. At this time, men are expected to do all the hard work towards in the workplace. This might be the truth, but it would have been good to have seen a reference here To prove this big claim. Okay, and then there's a reference here which refers to disturbing behaviors by main. Okay. And because this whole paragraph is about the disadvantages of Maine in the workplace, this quote does not really fit because misbehavior is kind of a doesn't describe a disadvantage of a man, okay? Stocking, it needs a year over here. Therefore, that can lead into an argument with female employees that I didn't really know what the student is referring to here. Okay. And then the student has some more evidence, which is right here. The year is missing again. And then the conclusion sentence is, without a doubt, Meno made slaves of the hard work. First of all, that is redundant. You do not need this word. And hard work should be two words. I guess it can work. Slaves is a little bit strange, so I will just add word choice here. Then we get to the conclusion. That's a good transition. May not always going to be the head of families, breadwinners. And it is sometimes believed that they should be hired as managers, supervisors, etc. Because they work better than women and will always be expected to do the hard work. The student is introducing new ideas, head of families, breadwinners, and this is not a good idea. What we want here is a repetition of the thesis and the repetition of the roadmap to tie everything up. So the structure here is a little bit messy and the students, students should go back to outline to get some solid structure into the conclusion. Okay, Article Source. This is not a correct term. I would rather say bibliography or source list. Or another thing is you do not need bullets. This reference is incomplete. I need to see a URL. I need to see on which date the student access it. That means it's incomplete. Alright, and then the student had another source, Williams, Browne, and hood, which is not included in the bibliography. So that is problematic. Now I'm going to give the student marks based on organization contents, vocabulary usage, and mechanics 4.5. For organization because it was pretty good contents. The information was quite generalized and the effects were not so strong. So I'm going to only give the student five out of 10. Vocabulary could have been much stronger, like the whole slave thing was not academic enough. Usage three out of five, mechanics, 4.5. And we will still talk about what these things mean. Referencing comments. The student received 0 because of play, tend plagiarism. And the bibliography was also incomplete. But 0 out of 13, unfortunately, because of that one spot where the student actually copied and pasted without inserting quotation marks. 55. Good in-text referencing part 1: mentioning the author: Welcome back. In this session, we're going to discuss good in-text referencing part one where you mentioned the author. There are two main ways to write in-text references. And in each way the surname of the author is treated differently. So in this video, we will discuss the first way where you mentioned the author as part of your sentence. These are the types of phrases you will use in mentioning the author according to whoever it is, whoever claims this and that. For example, according to Miguel's, the earth is flat. And needles claims that the earth is flat. Okay. So notice that the author's surname and the rest of the reference stick together even if the sodium is now part of the sentence. Because he becomes part of your sentence, Miguel's now has the privilege to jump outside of the brackets. He's part of your sentence construction now. But he has separation anxiety. He was sustained near the rest of his reference at all times. So whenever you give the author the privilege of jumping outside of his brackets and becoming part of your sentence. The rest of his reference must follow immediately. So this is very important. Here's another example which makes use of paraphrasing. So there aren't any inverted commas or quotation marks involved. As you can see again, Miguel's is jumping outside of the brackets. Another thing which you will want to do often is to mention how someone else recorded the words of the original speaker. For instance, a celebrity or a politician like this woman. Okay, so all the news people where they are on that day and they were recording whatever she was saying. On this on this occasion. Gei Xiang Gei, a reporter, this is a real story, goes to a press conference and writes down that Flaminia Zuma, this woman, said, South Africa's next census will be in 2021. So then Shanghai goes home and writes an article and posted online like this. So now you come along a few years later and you want to mention this quote in your essay as a piece of evidence for your argument. So I'll show you how to do this. You just say, according to Shanghai, that's a journalist. 2018, clammy Zuma sets the date for the next the next census in 2021. If you don't want to drag the name of the reporter into it, you can just do it like this. According to Islam many Zuma in Shanghai 2018, the next census will be in 2021. Okay. And by the way, there is no page number in these references because the source is a website. There are no page numbers. But we'll talk about that some more in the next big section of the course. Okay, so remember for this first type of in-text referencing the author is part of the sentence. And thus he has the privilege of jumping outside the brackets. The rest of the reference must follow directly after the author's surname because they have separation anxiety and must stay as close together as possible. All right, so now it's your turn. Please download the attached activity and follow the instructions. 56. Good in-text referencing part 2: NOT mentioning the author; important tips: The second type of in-text referencing does not mention the author. So he is ignored and an mentioned and is sentenced to stay safely inside these brackets. For example, in the 16th century, it was believed that the Earth was flat. So in this kind of referencing, the language is more general and it is often employed along with passive voice. You can use this type of referencing if you don't want the spotlight to be on the author, you want them to be safely tucked away inside these brackets at all times. Here are some more examples. Firstly, astronomical findings were also cited to support the flat earth theory. Okay, so you just have him inside these brackets, he's not interfering with your sentence. Today, there is a marginalized minority that still supports the idea of a flat earth. So okay, so, so to summarize this second type of in-text referencing, as I've mentioned the author, he's not part of the actual sentence and is confined to his brackets. Okay. Before we move on, I want to give you three quick tips. Firstly, sometimes it's okay to leave out page numbers. So for instance, my egos 1754 was a proponent of the flat earth theory. This is correct because as you can imagine, Miguel's is whole book was all about this idea over and over again every way look. So it's not necessary to give a specific page because you referring to the book as a whole. Secondly, you have two options for numbers when you're dealing with websites. So this is an example. Shifting. 2020 denies the idea of a spherical Earth. So this reference sites or blog where there are no page numbers. So you have a few options. You can either do it the way I did it here. By putting no page number four, you can say page one. Random, obvious choice, page 1, that's all there was. Or you can say one of three, which means there were three pages. If you were to print it out and you use Page 1. Or we can simply leave it out as I did in this example. Lastly, you can put the details of several different authors inside the brackets. We need doing in-text referencing. For example, if you read two books which both said the exact same thing, you can do this, the earth is flat. And both of those authors sets. You can indicate even more sources which all had the very same idea. Now that for example, for people who also that the earth is round, notice that the surnames are in alphabetical order here. Okay, so these two examples indicate different books or sources. But if you have a book written by two authors, for example, davidson, Davidson and become, then use the ampersand sign here to show that Davidson and become collaborated and wrote this book together. Here's another example, Dickinson, Tom and Harris. Three people collaborated to write that book. So notice your turn again. Please practice the second type of in-text referencing where you did not mention the author because he is confined within his brackets. 57. Summarising; tip on spelling: Welcome back. In this session, we're going to discuss summarizing. And it's going to be a tough on spelling as well. So to summarize is to extract the most salient or the most important facts from a text and to compile them into a shortened version of the original. So basically you taking out the important points, squashing them together and having a shortened version of the original. Okay, so this is the original document. The paraphrase, which we did about two lessons ago. He's going to be more or less the same length. However, summarizing is going to make the text much shorter because you are only extracting the main points. You don't want to repeat all the details and stuff. You just want the main ideas. Okay, so let's do the steps in summarizing. Firstly, create the original text and highlight the main ideas. Secondly, cover the original and write the main ideas from memory. Okay, So this is to help you resist the temptation of using the original wording because you need to write everything in your own words. Thirdly, write these main ideas in your own words, but as briefly as possible. Make sure you use complete sentences, each containing a subject and a verb. Discard all details or examples. For both. Take upon yourself. Is the summary short enough or about half of the original? Does your summary, you have all the most important points. Add an in-text reference, and finally, copy and paste the summary into your essay assignment, adding necessary introduction sentences or transitions, et cetera. Okay, let's do a practice of that practice. This is about the National Football League players and brain injuries. And you study has found that a 110 of a 111 deceased former National Football League players had evidence of chronic traumatic encephalopathy. 0 permanent brain damage as a result of repeated blood force injuries to the head. Such injuries can result in behavioral changes or cognitive decline like memory loss or dementia. Okay, so first step we've done read. Now we have to highlight the main ideas. And you study that's quite important, has found that so many players, this is important. National Football League had evidence of CTE, repeated blunt force injury to the head. I think that might also be important. Such injuries can result in behavioral changes or cognitive decline. Resulting behavioral changes. Okay, so cover the original Android main ideas from memory. Let's see if I can remember. New study. Player's brain injury because of repeated notes. So there's other ones I can remember. Now I should convert them into full sentences. I want to copy and paste. So I'm just going to zoom out a bit. Let's save up a new study which examine the need NL if players for let's copy this and chronic traumatic can pronounce it. So that's in the place of brain injuries. This study found that because of repeated knocks, sportsmen. Now there's something I forgot suffered changes. Okay, and I think this is also important for cognitive decline. So let's protect first, the sportsman suffered decline or behavioral changes. Behavioral changes. Okay. Now, that's my rough summary. Let me check up on myself is a short enough. It's a tiny bit long, actually. Okay. So maybe our shall abbreviate this CTE. Cte. There. It's short enough. It's about half of the length of the original. Does it have all the important points and you study, yes, it does. National Football League, yeah. Conic CTE as good. Repeated blood force injuries to have that repeated NOX, that's fine. Result bagel changes or cognitive decline. I do have that. So yes, I do have all the important points. Now I have to add a reference. Can't remember who it was. Let's say Smith, 2016, page four. And then you have your summary. Now you can copy it and paste it into your assignment. Okay, Here we get to the tip on spelling. Now you will know why I'm always spelling things with S and getting spelling errors on word. This is because in South Africa we use the UK spelling, okay? And microsoft Word is a piece of United States software. So in the USA they always spelled with a Z and without OU. But in England and the UK, they have a U and S. And so that's why my spelling might seem to be problematic sometimes. But this is a little because I use UK spelling since South Africa used to be an English colony. So check which system your institution uses. Okay, So now it is your turn. Please summarize the following paragraph. When you're done, you can continue to the next video, which will be a solution video. 58. Solution video: Welcome to the solution video where I'm going to summarize the paragraph. Okay, So I've read the text now going to highlight the main ideas. Researchers conducted a study in two parts. Okay, That's important. First, a team of neuroscientists interviewed family members about football players is health and behavior. Neuroscientists interviewed. They asked for evidence of any kind of substance abuse, Parkinson's disease, PTSD, sleep disorders, and even chronic headaches. Next, as separate team blinded to the interview results, performed examinations of the places brain. Okay. So examinations on the brains and look for evidence. Researchers previously decided where indicative of CTE. Things like the lesions or patterns of tangled or Dogen fibers in the brain. So most of this is, has to do with examples. So I think I've basically got older main ideas here. So let me go down and then say to find SCTP. Two parts. First part is the second part was brain tissue. They are have the main points. Convert it into my own words. Okay, now I'm going to convert these into full sentences. Scientists conducted a study to find CTE in football players. The study was conducted in two parts. Firstly, interviews were conducted with families. Secondly, brain tissue or the late in our place, was examined for evidence of CTE. Okay. Now I have to check up on myself. Is the summary short enough about half the length of the individual of the original. Yesterday, short enough. There's your summary happen the most important points. Two parts, neuroscientists. Okay. So I have Dr. narrow. So I can just insert that interviews. I have examinations of brains I do have. Now have to add the in-text reference. I have no idea who wrote this part. Let's say it was Jones 2018, page three. There we go. Now I can copy and paste this summary into my assignment. Okay. And I did not include any examples. I left out everything they said here about evidence of substance abuse, et cetera. And I also left out everything. I left out all the details about exactly the symptoms of this CTE. Not important. All I want is the main point threatening my own words and properly cited in the end. 59. Finding good sources: Welcome back. In this session, we will discuss how to find reputable sources, and this is very important skill to learn. As an example, let's briefly look at this first year music assignment again. So you have learned how to convert a prompt like this into a well-structured essay or assignment. But very importantly, you need to be able to decide which sources are repeatable. Okay? So how does one choose sources? So far we've learned a lot about brainstorming, outlining. And these things are very useful when it comes to looking for sources. So let's go back to the mind map we made on homesteading. By now you have narrow down the topics you're going to use. And you need to find evidence for the in-text references to back yourself up. So because of your mind-map and your outline, you can now be very specific about the things you search. For example, Un such a huge topic like history of homesteading, okay? Instead you can search something like hosted in commercialized. Okay? Now you don't need to waste time reading a whole ton of completely irrelevant information. Okay? It's kind of like Surface Mining versus deep drilling mines. So this is a surface mine with a mine coal or sand. And this is an oil rig with a drill for oil. So at school it was fine to talk very broadly about farming or whatever, a huge topics. But at university you must learn to look for specific detailed information and 2, draw deeper it. If it's an electronic source, like an article online, then the job becomes even easier. You can simply search for specific keywords. This can save a ton of time in a tight spot. Let me show you. Okay, so this is a book on sustainability, home sitting and sustainability. So let's find commercialized. On your keyboard, you say Control F or Command F on the Mac. And then you say commercialized. Okay, then you can see this source only has one reference to commercialization, and that's the wrong word, commercials. So this source isn't going to help me at all. I don't need to read another word. I can just go onto the next source. So you may ask, as long as I find the evidence I'm looking for, Can I just use any source? Well, not quite. Okay. So academic books and journals are almost always considered to be reputable sources. And the more recent they are, the better. But even good sources can get outdated. For example, a science journal from, from 1889 is probably not a good source because it's information is going to be outdated. The exception to this is when you want to cite really epic and pioneer research for some reason. But generally, recent sources are good sources. You can even use a search tools on Google Scholar to help you find recent sources. Let me show you. Okay, so here we are in Google Scholar. On the left you can see when you want your articles to be from. So if I want mine to be very, very recent, I'm going to say since 2020. And then all the sources it gives you will be from 2020. Because they tried to get some nice and recent sources for your essays. Okay, now, online sources are going to be trickier than books and journals because there's just so much false information on the Internet. So I have some considerations which are a good rule of thumb when you're choosing online sources. Firstly, the website should not be open source. So open source means any old person anywhere in the world can just edit it. Okay, and I know Wikipedia, it is no term really open source because only certain people can edit it. But look at this module guide. Here, the lecture is really aunty Wikipedia. Do not copy entries on Wikipedia like four times in a row. Okay, This is because lecturers think anybody can just edit Wikipedia. And if you reference it, your information might be invalid. Okay, so avoid Wikipedia if you want my advice. But definitely avoid any website wave, like a forum where any old dictum, Oh Harry can edit. Secondly, they should preferably be an author because this makes the referencing more credible. Okay. So this website was created by Lauren. Are good. That's a good thing. You want to be able to mention the person's name. 30. They should preferably be a date. It also makes referencing more credible. Okay? So if find a blog or some random thing, there is no author and there is no date, then it's best to avoid that kind of website. So fourthly, academic websites often have the.edu domain extension. This usually indicates a more academically accountable website. So here you can see it's not got CO2 Janae, it's not.com. It is.edu. Okay. And that's a good sign. That's just a small tip. I, I never look at domain extensions, but it might help you sometime. Okay, and then just another note here, if there is no available date, but you really want to use that particular source. Use ND, which stands for no date. For example, Peterson indie, page 23, August that the translation of the Bible into German marks the beginning of the rise of the middle-class. Okay, so this person wrote this and you don't know when the eroded, but you want to use this information. So you just put in ND while you're collecting your information online or in books or wherever, you should try to keep notes systematically. Okay? Because there's nothing worse than wanting to use a really juicy bit of information, but not being able to use it because you can't remember where it comes from. So try doing this, try keeping her table in Word. I wish I had continued with this. I started with it when I was doing my thesis and stopped already regretted it because you really want to go back and see where did I get that little bit of information about the definition of charismatic? Okay. Before we move on, I just want to mention that you can reference using the References tab. In Microsoft Word. It involves inserting all the source information at the beginning so that we can help you reference all the way. And you can just take insert citation or bibliography. To add the necessary referencing. Once again, just check that it's correct according to your university protocol. And make sure you are using Harvard or whatever citation system your institution uses. Okay, I never use this much, but it might work well for you. Okay, so now it is your turn. Please judge the quality of the different sources by awarding one to five stars, one star for a personnels, and five stars for a reputable source. Okay, so let's take each of these sources one by one. It's going to be quite subjective. Which means that it's going to be different for each different person in different situation. So this is just a rough idea of how these sources could be righted. So first one, blog with author and date. A blog is usually quite informal, but as it has an author and the date, that's a good sign. So they'd say maybe two or three stars for that source. Next one is a popular website like Discord or a chat forum or something like that. So that is not very reliable. I would say anyone's door. Anybody can say anything, it's not scientific enough. Third one, religious journal from 1800, okay, and you probably know, but religion has changed a lot in the last two centuries. So 1800 is probably going to be very Western and very Christian. So most academic institutions today would say ee can't use that anymore. It's too outdated. It's to Western and to male dominated and all that stuff. So postmodernism has changed everything and this will be acceptable anymore unless you're doing a historical project. Kind number four, blog with an author but no date. So this one had an author and the date. This one only an author. Okay, So you have to take off one store at least for that. So only two stars. Academic website with author and detect. Okay, this is quite valuable. I'd say maybe five-stars on 2345. It's Academic and it has an author and date. Very sound, very proper. Number 6 and natural science book from 1982. And natural scientists also evolving quite fast. So it won't be very valuable. Maybe one, maybe two sauce, too old, too outdated. A journal from 2019. Very valuable because a journal is academic writing, academic magazine. Say you need five of those. Very reliable. Okay, Number 8, a treatise or a textbook on folk dancing from 722. Case, it's completely outdated. 1720, two. And for that reason we will only get one star. But if you're a dance major, maybe in college or you ballet, something like that, then could use it as a historical project. And that it would be a very sound and reasonable source. So used as a historical source, it's very valuable, but used simply for facts. It's completely outdated. Okay, so I'm hoping this makes sense and happy, agreed with my reasoning. As I said, it could be different for each different source. But right, thanks for listening and I'll see you in the next session. 60. Adding your own voice in your writing: At university or college, it is expected that you begin to demonstrate your own thinking in your academic writing. So you are expected to take sides and to build a logical argument which shows your opinion. This means that even if you reference really well and everything is perfectly cited, your essay is not really worth much unless you add your own opinion for your own voice to the mix. So how do you develop your unvoiced? It really depends on the type of essay writing, but the lecture often USE that you argue or take sides in the issue. Okay? That's why my theme was birds in this section, because birds all have voices and all discussing all the time. Okay? For example, the prompt could have been something like discuss the impact of the internet on society. So your thesis statement will hint at your own stance or opinion. And he can keep letting it resurface again in each paragraph of the essay. This is the golden thread we talked about before. You can watch Section 34 again if you need to. So a possible thesis statement for this prompts could have been something like, while the internet has given rise to many evils, its impact has been positive in modern society. This already indicates that you have a favorable opinion of the Internet. So let's have another tip on how to lead your own voice feature in your essay. One easy way to do this is to mention what others say before stating your own opinion. Okay? For example, let's say the prompt was the following. Compare and contrast arranged marriages versus marriages established around the love. A fiction of the couple, which do you believe to be the better system and y. So it's great and important to discuss arranged marriages versus love marriages. But your own opinion must shine through, especially if the prompt, like this prompt asks your opinion explicitly by saying something like state your view on or discuss your stance on or which of the two is better and why? If the prompt say something like that, it's extra important to include your opinion. So here's an example of comparing the different views. Scholar obscura, 1946, a proponent of the flat earth theory and dry humor, 1993. Similarly sites astronomical findings to support the idea of lead planet. On the other hand, on the ball 2001, Veblen argues against this archaic idea and proves that the earth is round based on the vast current astronomical knowledge base at our disposal today, I believe that you suggest Flat Earth as a legitimate theory is as good as committing academic suicide? Oops, that word went haywire. But here you can see firstly, I, I mentioned what the other authors believe, and then at the end I state my own stance or opinion. Here's another example with the arranged marriage prompt. So it's a conclusion, a conclusion paragraph. In conclusion, arranged marriages were the norm in many cultures in the past and remains a customer in some cultures today. However, the advent of Western individualism and personal independence has rendered the practice largely obsolete. In my opinion, the idea of establishing a merge on the basis of love, which is blind after all, rather overrated. Couples today would do well to incorporate certain outdated ideas, such as parental guidance in their selection of a spouse. So here you can see both sides of the argument represented. And you can also see what the author beliefs. So I hope that helps you guys. So think about it. You need to figure out a way to make your own voice feature in your essay. 61. Outro: You've reached the end of referencing. Well then I just want to reiterate one last time that you should constantly reference. So whether you are using a direct quotation within inverted commas, or whether you're paraphrasing, summarizing, the little in-text reference should always be present. Thank you so much for sticking it out. We've reached the end, and I'll see you in the next section. 62. Part 7 ~ UNIVERSAL MISTAKES AND HOW TO AVOID THEM: There are certain mistakes which all students make at some stage in their writing. You are already familiar with the editing symbols list, which is used to indicate universal kinds of mistakes in student writing. Often these are small mistakes, but they can really add up in an essay some of the mistakes obvious, such as spelling and punctuation. But at the mistakes are hard to spot and hot topics such as run-on sentences and fragmented sentences, as well as being structured problems. This section, we're going to take a closer look at these universal kinds of mistakes and how to fix them. 63. WW – Wrong Word: Hi everyone. In this session we are going to discuss wrong word error. When dealing with words. There are a few things we want to avoid. So firstly, slang, for example, a lot. Many students use a lot, a lot. And it's quite informal. So we want to avoid anything that's going to be too informal for academic situations. Secondly, we want to avoid wordiness. For example. It is important that you understand exactly what this is all about. It's far too wordy, too many words. Alright? Try to keep it more concise or more so important that thirdly, want to avoid big words if you are uncertain of their meaning. So it's dangerous to right-click and say find synonym, and click on something you don't really understand because you might make a mistake like this. Imminent disaster. It should have been I, imminent disaster. So if you're uncertain about a big word, rather to something more simple, which can express your meaning more clearly. Okay? And something that you do want to incorporate is the use of precise words. For example, if we say somebody grasps the meaning, it's very clear. Grasp is very specific and works very well. Okay, So when you have a wrong word error in your essay, it might be a good English word, but it doesn't make sense in the sentence. For example, I said lunch, not launch. Okay, no, lunch is a legitimate English word. You can use it. But in this in this situation, it's completely the wrong word and it can cause a major disaster. Spell check. That's the function on Word, will not identify the word in your writing as wrong. So Microsoft Word will not be able to tell you launched lunch was the wrong word here. M. It will just think, oh, Lunch is a legitimate English word, it's fine. So therefore, you should be able to spot these kinds of mistakes yourself. Okay, my number one tip to identify wrong word is to read. Okay? The single most helpful thing you can do for your English syntax is to read, read, read. So try to make some time just for reading in your schedule. Let's have a look at this graphic. This is all about prepositions of time and place. The mistake many students often make is they get the small words wrong in an ad. So let's look at this diagram. On the left, you have time and the right location. So if he's, if he's speaking in general and referring to the big picture, you often use in in 18 hundreds. In 1970, in July, in two weeks time. And we speaking obligation in England, in London, in Chinatown to refer to the big picture. If you get more specific, it becomes on on May the seventh, on Friday, on the weekend, or on Oxford Street on the corner. And then at the bottom, very specific use at at seven AM in the morning. At the store. There's 23 examples. Can you identify the wrong words and fix them in these sentences? Okay, let's see the answers. I sleep late on the morning, should be in the morning. He calls a Saturday night should have been on. I will graduate four years to know. Should have been from now. Okay, If you're interested, here's a list of some more commonly confused words. I'm not going to get through all of them now, but you are welcome to study them. Okay, Now it is your turn. Please open the attached activity and spot the wrong word issues, and click on the problematic words. 64. WF – Word Form: The next common mistake among students is what forms? In English, many words have different forms. As you probably know already, it is possible to have the correct word in mind, but used incorrectly in a sentence. So often this is because the function, for example, a noun, verb, adjective or adverb is changed. So the form of the word depends on how it is being used. A work and have a different form as a noun, verb, adjective, or an adverb. Even though it is the same root word. For example, I need a job real bad. The problem here is that both real and bad presented as adjectives when they should have been adverbs. So real and bad, supposed to have the suffix LY because these words referred to the verb need, okay. So the solution is, I need a job really badly. These two words are referring to the word need. So if a word feels a little bit fishy to you, check to see whether it's supposed to refer to the noun or verb in the sentence. The word form problem can also relate to tenses. So for example, my drive down the road yesterday. Why is that problematic? Because Dr. happened yesterday. So it should be drove in the past. The waveform problem can also result from singular or plural issue. For example, the whole sack of potatoes from the table should have been potatoes plural. Another issue you might be having is apostrophe. Apostrophe is that little comma here top. Okay. This was wrong. They are many kids in my class. So the student used apostrophe is to make it plural. But that is incorrect. It should have been just kids. Okay. So spot the waveform mistake. Happy is important to everyone. It should be happiness. She carries many book. That's right. Book should have been books. Plural. The teacher gave a paper to every students. Every student singular is do a few more. He is a healthy baby. Oops, I made the mistake of giving you the answer. Healthy. You look terribly today. You look terrible today. She's terrible, sick. Terribly. I hate homeworks. Homework. So I hope this was quite obvious. If you're having trouble with this, it might be worth it to learn more about verbs, adverbs, nouns and adjectives, to understand the difference between the different word endings and suffixes. Okay, so now it is your turn. Please spot the word form issues in the attachment and click on the problematic words. 65. WC – Word Choice: Okay, welcome back. We're choice issue is very similar to wrong word. So let's go back to this example we had in the beginning. Remember high duty term writing this an intermission between classes, et cetera. Okay, so this student obviously got hold of some type of synonym app or the function in Microsoft Word where you can right-click and find synonyms. So I know it's very tempting to right-click on all your boring words and in your essay and to replace them with impressive sounding synonyms. This can work very well sometimes. But most of the times big words, for example, comprehensible versus comprehensive, run the risk of being inappropriate or incorrectly used. So I would definitely advise going with simple vocabulary that brings across your argument effectively. Okay, we have a couple of pointers. Use strong vocabulary for academic writing. Sometimes a word has the right meaning within a sentence, but there is still a better way to say the same thing. Okay, these might not be the best examples out there. But the point is to avoid slang or words which are very informal and replacing with something a bit stronger. So I think it's a balanced thing. Don't use slang or informal language, but don't go overboard on the other side and use big words, the meaning of which you're uncertain of. Okay, little activity. Can you identify the word choice issues? Is it possible to use different words, improve the sentences? And note that some sentences have more than one word to issue. The couple had adopted children as well as original children. Okay. Original is incorrect. It should be biological. There are a lot of factors that influence the outcome. Definitely a lot very informal. But they use many. It is a system whereby everybody suffers, okay, whereby some students use it constantly. But it should be something like in which headings should be made legal in schools again, corporal punishment should be legalized. Much stronger. The dead man's family was poor. K, We can make it more sensitive by saying that the CST man's family was poor. Poor is also quite insensitive. They might be a stronger, more empathetic word to use there. The wall cause really bad suffering. You could say the war caused unprecedented suffering. The meaning, however, it's not exactly the same. I think I screwed up a little here. So it could say the war caused terrible suffering. The proof will help the police catch the baddies. Rather say, the evidence will help at least catch the criminals. The CEO is motivated by money getting. The CEO is motivated by financial gain. Many people say death for criminals must be brought back. Can you think of a big word for death with criminals? Capital punishment. Okay, let's have a quick check here. What is the difference between using wrong word, wrong form and word choice? Please match the issue on the left. But this example on the right, these are the answers. Okay, that's it for this lesson. It seems that you didn't have an activity this time. 66. RO – Run-On: Okay, welcome back. In this session, we're going to discuss a very important issue. It's a mistake that most students make. So please pay attention in this one. Run on sentences. So too many people are run on. Sentence means a sentence that just continues running on and on with no full stops. While this can be true, a run-on can also be very short. So a run on takes place when two independent sentences are placed together without appropriate punctuation in-between. For example, my best friend is turning 21 today. She is very excited. Okay. This is definitely a run on sentence. Same thing here. I left my books at home. I will relate for clause. Also a run on sentence. And there aren't on, in each case, starts here. And at the comma. So let's talk about this problem. Why is it wrong? So you get two types of run-on sentences. The first one is too strong independent clauses with no punctuation or small words or coordinating conjunctions connecting them. For example, I slipped too often in, I'm going to have a hard time falling asleep tonight. So in this spot around on starts because I slipped all afternoon, was strong and independent and I'm going to have a hard time falling asleep tonight is also a strong and independent, but there is nothing here earlier space. So around on, starts over here. The second type is a comma splice error. Same thing, but there is a comma. I slipped all afternoon. Comma, I'm going to have a hard time falling asleep tonight. So you'd have, again, you have two strong clauses or too strong little sentences and nothing but a comma separating them. It's a little bit like a train. Okay? So here's the first part of the sentence. Here's the second part. And you can have a few coaches or a few sentences following. But the link here has to be very strong in order for this thing to work. So a run on sentence looks more like this, where the link breaks the first little obstacle and the link breaks. Okay? So what you need is a very, very strong link between the the locomotive and the coaches, the front part of the train, and the cultures. You need a very strong link. Let me show you what this means when we dealing with sentences. So this is a run on sentence. It is raining. I am glad. To independent sentences which are joined early by a comma or by a space. That's a weak link. It's not going to keep this train together. So you need stronger punctuation or small words. These are all your options. Firstly, you can use a full stop plus a capital letter. Full stop. It already is capitalised, good. It is running. I am glad. Excellent. Second strategy to use a coordinating conjunction. It is raining, so I am glad it's a small world. Third strategy is to use a subordinating conjunction. I'm going to put it at the beginning of the sentence because it is raining. Come on. I am glad. That's what you call a subordinating conjunction. And in one of the lessons coming up, I'm going to discuss subordinating conjunctions in more detail. Okay? Fourth option which you have is a colon. Colon on the two dots. Let's just take away this subordinating conjunction. It is raining. I am glad that strong punctuation, that's a strong link between the train and the coaches. It works very well. Another strong piece of punctuation is a semicolon. It is raining. I'm glad. Perfect works very well. And then the final strategy is a dash. It is raining. I am glad. So I hope you can see that it's acceptable to use a strong form of punctuation in here or a little word. But a comma or a space is just simply too weak. To keep these big pieces of sentence together. A run on sentence happens. So in two simple sentences are run together without correct punctuation to separate them. So I'm hoping that makes perfect sense, Tina. So can you tell me whether the first sentence here is correct? Maria is a sweet child. She really loves animals. The answer is incorrect. The run on starts here. Second example, there is a sweet child, she loves animals. Same thing. A comma is too weak to keep the two parts of the train together. So that's also wrong. Maria is a sweet child. She really loves animals. Is a full stop strong enough. Yes. So it's good. Whereas a sweet child and she really loves animals. And it's a small word. It works perfectly well to keep to half of the sentence together. So that's correct. Let's do four more examples. Can you tell me when this one is correct? I personally important to me is my twin sister. Her name is Jodie or run on starting here. So it's incorrect. Jody understands me better than anyone. She knows me very well. It looks good. But we said that the comma is weak. It cannot hold the sentence together. Incorrect. We enjoy the same things. For example, we both love hotdogs and chess. Okay? In this case, there aren't on starts over here. And not with a comma. We enjoy the same things. Full stop. For example, we both love hot dogs and chase. That would have been correct, as it is, it is wrong. Okay. Final example. We live in different cities. We usually visit each other on weekends. Also incorrect. We have around one sentence starting here. If I had to fix the final one, I would have said, as we would have put a subordinating conjunction word here. As we live in different cities, comma, we usually visit each other on weekends. 67. Frag - Fragment: Welcome back. In this session, we will discuss fragments. What's a fragment in real life? A fragment is a splinted piece, like the fragments of a broken watermelon. So similarly, fragmented sentence is just a broken piece of sentence. Okay, so how to recognize a fragment when you see one? This is a fragment, the cat with a beautiful white fur. Okay? This is a fragment because every sentence must have at least one main clause. And a main clause contains a subject and a verb and expresses a complete thought. For example, Nina loves is the subject and the verb. Okay? So therefore, the catch with a beautiful white fur is deceitful. Okay? That's the verb, a small verb. Okay, and many students forget that sentence sometimes needs a small little, strong little verb. And then it ends up being something like this. The cat with a beautiful word for. So ask yourself, does my sentence has a subject? Cat? Yes. Subject. Does it have a verb? No. What about the cat? So the cat is deceitful there we have the verb coming in. Okay? Have, so you have two options to fix a fragment. Two main options. Add the missing subject or the missing verb, or attached to the fragment, either to the front, go to the end of a nearby main clause. So maybe the sentence has a neighbor, which is strong, which has a subject and a verb, which is independent. So then you're fragmented sentence can be joined to that one. For example. Duly always ways a motorcycle helmet, worrying that a meteor or chunk of space debris will conquer on the head. That's a lot of words. But in fact, this sentence is missing a subject. And this, this little sentence here was strong. It has a subject. So let's join these two sentences together. Start with that. Start with unstable one. Worrying that a meteor or chunk of space debris will concur on the head. Comma to Lee always ways a motorcycle helmet. Now it's a big long sentence. Just to check, let's see, does it have a subject? Is to Lee? There we have the subject doesn't have a verb. Yes, it has with all right. Okay, that's it for this lesson. I hope it will make sense to you. And that you can now recognize that a sentence fragment needs a verb. 68. Complex sentences and subordinating conjunctions: Welcome back. In this session we are going to discuss complex sentences and subordinating conjunctions. So subordinating conjunctions are words like if, while, because, since, et cetera. And they complicate matters in a sentence, because they make, they are part of the sentence unstable and dependent on other clauses. For example, I don't like bananas since I ate too many at university. So the presence of this word since is making the second half of the sentence unstable. That's why it needs this first part desperately in order to be a legitimate sentence. These are some examples of subordinating conjunctions. After, although, because, before, if, since, when, and while. Any subordinating conjunction phrase at the beginning of a sentence needs a comma something phrase later in the sentence. Let me show you. Okay. Often meeting Julie for coffee. I went home. After is a subordinating conjunction. So it needs comma, something. While Facebook is often a major distraction, it can also be a positive asset in your business while a subordinating conjunction. So it needs something to balance it out. Before submitting an essay, it is wise to sleep on it before rereading and submitting it. So this whole idea of commerce, something is very important because if you forget to add a comma something phrase, you will end up with sentence fragments like we spoke about in the previous lesson. So let's see what happens if you take away the coma. Something's after meeting Judy of coffee. While Facebook is often a major distraction before submitting an essay. I hopefully you can hear that the sounds incomplete. These are unstable but soft sentences and they are fragments. So they need something to balance them out. Sometimes fragments like these slip in at the beginning of paragraphs because they sound so appropriately, they sound like a little title. So check at the beginning of your paragraphs. Okay, I just want to add that subordinating conjunctions. I'll helpful when you want to create, creates a nice variety of sentences. So don't avoid subordinating conjunctions now. So remember, in the beginning of section two of this course, I showed you the different types of sentences. Simple sentences, complex, compound, compound, complex. If you use subordinating conjunctions like because, while, whereas, they can help you to create complex sentences and compound complex sentences. And if you're doing, while you're doing this, the most important thing to remember is that if the subordinating conjunction phrase is at the beginning of any type of sentence, it will need a comma something later on in the sentence. For example, because he wanted to score, John ran towards the goal posts. So this is an example of where we use a subordinating conjunction to create complex sentence. Since he had spent so much time getting fit, john easily made it to the goalpost and he ended up shooting the winning goal or his team. Okay, so here you can see the subordinating conjunction is helping us make a compound, complex, intense. Very helpful. You just need to always add a comma or something. Okay, so here you have the nice list of subordinating conjunctions and you can also download it as an attachment. Okay, your turn, please write a sentence starting with each of these subordinating conjunctions. Remember, if there are the beginning of the sentence, you will need a comma, something to balance it out. These words can also be in the middle of a sentence without causing too many problems. For example, I don't like bananas since I ate too many at the university. In the middle of sentences, there are a little bit more manageable. 69. SV – Subject-verb agreement: Hi everyone, welcome back. In this session, we will discuss subject verb agreement. This can be a major problem for some students. By now, you know that as a sentence has a subject and a verb. And they also need to be in agreement. Okay, this may be a problem for students in writing and speaking, especially African people. In South Africa. We have many African people. This is a Germanic language, like German or Dutch. So, and I also speak Afrikaans. So to us it's difficult to understand this whole concept of subject verb agreement. Let's have a look at these two examples. The bird sings in the mornings. The people is always late. So if the subject and the verb or not in agreement, it causes a subject verb error or mistake. Let's look at some more examples. The goals talks loudly. Everyone in the house start complaining. But the goals is to happy to care the upcoming holiday. Make them excited. If you're making mistakes like this, don't worry. There are several rules that can help you take your subject verb agreement. It's just going to take a little bit of work. To rule number 1. A verb agrees with the subject in number. A singular subject gets a singular verb. A plural subject gets a plural verb. So if a noun is plural, it usually has an S, such as in the word trees. If a verb is singular, singular, it has an S, for example, grows. So in this diagram you can see what I mean. Noun, which has an S, usually agrees with the verb, which does not have an S. Therefore, in the present tense, subjects and verbs agree in opposite ways. For example, trees grow north know notice a cloud forms since there is no S, Let's choose forms with an S friends chat. So I hope that makes sense. Let's continue to the second rule. The number of the subject, singular or plural, is not changed by the words that come in between the subject and the verb. Excitement, as well as nervousness is the cause of her shaking. So this verb should agree with this subject and not with us all the intervening information. The third rule is, some subjects always take a singular verb, even though the meaning may seem plural. Okay, so these are special words. They don't follow the normal rules. These subjects are all always going to be friends with verbs which have an S. Someone, sings, anyone, runs, nobody loves case. I can hear that the verbs that go with these subjects have an ace. Rule number four. The following words may be singular or plural depending upon their use in a sentence. Some any fall and most, most of the news is good. Singular. Most of the flowers were yellow. Plural. All of the pizza was gone singular. All of the children relate plural. These four words can be singular or plural. Depending on the sentence in which they are found. Rule number five. Subjects joined by end are plural. Subjects joined by or, or nor. Take a verb that agrees with the last subject. Okay, Bob and George are leaving. Bob and George have formed a group and other apparel. Bob and George are. Neither Bob nor George is leaving. Okay? So since we have nor hear, your verb is going to agree with the last subject. In this case it is George. So it's going to be, is. And this example, it's the opposite. Neither Bob nor his friends are leaving. So since we have the word nor, we're looking at the subject directly before the verb. In this case, his friends, which is plural, hence, are rule six there and here are never subjects. In sentences that begin with these words. The subject is usually found later on in the sentence. Here is the report you wanted. So in this case, report is going to be the subject. Rule number 7. Collective nouns may be singular or plural depending on their use in a sentence. For example, the orchestra is playing a hit song is, here we use is, because it's referring to Orchestra as a group. But here, the orchestra were asked to give their musical backgrounds. This is where they have an interview with a viola players, interview with the first violence. So here we are treating the orchestra as many separate individuals. That's why we use the word were. To agree with a plural rule of eight. Expressions of time. Money, measurements and weight are usually singular when the amount is considered one unit. So a week that is considered one unit is not r, is not merely not nearly enough time. Second loss rule. Some nouns, while plural in form are actually singular in mathematics is hard. Another example would be politics is interesting. Rule number 10, don't, it doesn't, must agree with the subject. Us doesn't after he, she and it doesn't he know how to sail. Okay. Now it's your turn. So please open the attachment and in each case, select the correct word from within the brackets. 70. Being academically appropriate: Hi everyone, welcome back. This session we will discuss being academically appropriate. So this session will be mostly about comparing social media language to academically appropriate language. And this is mostly got to do with spelling and punctuation. When you're writing essays, it's best to avoid all kinds of casual language, such as a lot, sweet, Hot, Cool. All these words are very casual, very sluggish. So it's best to avoid them. When you are writing essays, be sure to begin each sentence with a capital letter. In each sentence with a full stop or a question mark or exclamation. Look. Avoid run-on sentences by inserting strong punctuation marks, such as the semicolon between two independent clauses. Okay, I hope you remember all about the run on sentences and how you need strong punctuation to keep the parts of the train together. Another tip I can give you is to read your work aloud to discover spots where there is insufficient punctuation. Let's look at a few sentences. I did this for my classical music students. So I hope you don't mind. Schubert was composing his final symphony when he died. First two movements were all right, but he never finished. What mistakes can you see here? First thing is that you should type out to TWO. Do not use digits in your essays or right is also a little bit too casual. Alright. Secondly, bulkhead assistance to copy out orchestral parts. It really helped him a lot. Okay, remember, we're talking past tense. Bach lived in the 17 hundreds. So it should have been helped. It really helped him. And remember, we said that a lot is too casual. So rather say something like very much. But taught, often worked under stress. It was often running late with commissions. Running late is also a bit casual. It's a very modern expression and something you can avoid when writing academic essays. Fourthly, 800 music contains interesting philosophical theories and stuff. Wrong word. It should have been stuff. But when it is stuff, then we should change it to something more formal. Word processors, like Microsoft Word will give you notification. So in your spelling is wrong. For example, a red squiggle. And when there is some sort of a grammatical error, where it will also give you a green or blue squiggly line like this. For example, typing happiness will result in a red line. This will indicate that you need to fix a spelling issue. This also happens when you repeat a word. Typing an incomplete sentence indicates a grammar error. Why didn't I know this? Okay, So here would notice that this is a question. And once you to insert a question mark, while blue and green, okay. This is a fragment and it should have been doing. I don't know why word is not making it blue or green squiggles to show that it's a fragment. Double spaces and inconsistent capital letters will also will also cause blue squiggles and glitches while you type? I think. So. It's not reacting in the way it usually does. But I think many versions older than this one will actually cause the long blue and green lines under the words. So this is just to say that word can help you find your mistakes. If you want to see a funny YouTube video about punctuation and go here. 71. Outro; downloads; importance of reading: We've reached the end of this section. Well then, I hope you enjoyed it and that you now feel more confident in addressing issues such as wrong word, word choice run on fragments and spelling and punctuation issues. And that you know how to deal with subordinating conjunctions. If you feel you still need some more practice. I have more of this coming up in Section 73. So remember to read if you have some spare time. Project, Gutenberg is a great place to find free books in a variety of formats. And also including a list of books, many of which are my absolute all-time favorites. If you're looking for suggestions. 72. PART 8 ~ SELF-MONITORING AND EDITING: If the only thing you learn in this course is to monitor and edit your own writing. It will have been worth your time. You already know how to ensure that there is structure in your essay. You have the downloadable outline. So you can check that all the necessary elements, such as the thesis statement and a roadmap are present. In the last section. We also looked at the more universal mistakes which students make and how to fix them. In this section, we'll be looking at the types of scoring rubrics that Lecturers use will also be discussing how to stick to the main point without deviating or inserting irrelevant ideas. Then we'll take a quick look at lower and higher-order issues and which of them to tackle first. And we'll do some corresponding editing. Finally, the section contains a small taste, and then we are done with the course. When you start the self editing process, a helpful tip is to take a short break from any essay you plan to submit. Planned to be done a few days before the deadline, so that you can let your essay wrist a couple of days before rereading it with bread. With fresh perspective, I'd like some fresh, well-seasoned perspective. Can you suggest to go with that? Even reading it the morning after completion will reveal some pretty obvious mistakes. 73. What lecturers look for: Analytic scoring rubric: Welcome back. In this session we are going to discuss what lecturers look for. And I'll be showing you this analytic scoring rubric. Okay, so there are several standards of writing which are universally recognized. This rubric is the one I used to walk. My students work at my university. But all over the world, I think these are the kinds of things you will get marked for or get scored four. Let's look at each of these subdivisions organization. So you're going to get the highest mark for written work which has clear and appropriate beginning, introduction, development and conclusion. Paragraphing and transitions are exceptionally clear and appropriate. Flow and expressions. Ideas clearly stated or supported points logically developed, very good transitions, cohesion or coherence. So if you apply the things we've been talking about so far, you'll get it very good mark for organization. Then you have content, clear and appropriate coverage of content and any other theory. Assertions. The things you say clearly supported by evidence. Effective development of thesis relevant to assign topic, exceptional elaboration that early focuses on central ideas. This is all about the information you have in your essay. So the information you use should be high-quality and you should have good sources to back yourself up. All right, Then we have vocabulary. The highest market can get will be effective word idiom, toys and use, uses appropriate register. That means your words are high-quality English. Exceptional sentence variety. So you don't have the same sentence structure over and over. You have complex sentences. You have compound sentences and voice to affect reader. So the voice thing is where you, your own opinion comes through and wayo your own opinions is balanced by the opinions of others. As we said. Ok, and then usage. Work has clear and appropriate sentence structure. Standard use of inflections, subject verb agreement, word order, modifiers with no run-on sentences or sentence fragments. We've talked about most of these problems and how to fix them. So if you're confident in your English and you have the right usage, your essay will get a higher mach or a highest score. Finally, mechanics. Written work has clear and appropriate spelling, punctuation, and capitalization. Okay, This is very basic, but if you neglect this, it's going to leave a bad impression with the lecturer. So pay attention to spelling, punctuation, and capitalization. Okay, so now it's your turn. And we will do what is known as flipped classroom. So you will get the chance to be the teacher and to score this student's work. So please download the two documents attached to this lesson. Firstly, you read the essay and then you use the analytic scoring rubric to award the score that you think the student deserves in each category. And once you are done, you can proceed to the solution video where I'm going to go through it with you. 74. Solution video: Welcome back. In this session, I'm actually going to mock this essay and use the analytic scoring rubric to give marks. Please compare this to what you had when you did the activity yourself. Let's start with the big picture first, the student has the introduction, conclusion, and two body paragraphs. Good structure. This might be background information, which is good. The thesis statement is a little bit. And the gears, I'm not sure what the student means. The roadmap is pretty good. The transitions for the two body paragraphs are very good. Firstly, and on the other hand, there are a couple of problems with capitalization. Let's look at the conclusion paragraph briefly. As we have seen, very good transition. I think the student could have done a better job here in the conclusion with wrapping up all the information they used inside the body. So this sentence, we live in a world of changing technological factors and we have to live up to them. That's interesting, but it does not completely tie up all the loose ends. So the student needs to look at the structure again of the conclusion. Okay, now let's get into the details of the essay. The lower order issues. The student has some great background information in the form of a quotation. That the student does have quotation marks end of good in text reference. So that's a 100 percent correct. Okay. Mass media can be negative and positive at times, mostly in the current times. Okay, so this is the thesis statement. Spelling mistake. I think the second half of the sentence is redundant, mostly in the current times. In the roadmap sentence. I think the student left out two words. We're going to discuss, media and entertainment and social media and on education, oops, spelling and on education. But they should have said is, we are going to discuss the effects of media. Okay, a couple of capitalisation problems. There should have been a small c. Here. Obviously the first letter should be in capital. If let's discuss the second body paragraph. Firstly, mass media and social mean. Well, I think this might have been the wrong word. I don't understand what the student means. Mass media on social, something can be a negative. As social media has great expectations. Great Expectations. I would say we're choice because I didn't really understand what the student means here. Secondly, is wrong because this firstly, and on the other hand, are friends. So secondly has no claim on this transition. It's also redundant because he could have gone straight on by saying, they expect people capitalize to live a lifestyle celebrities live. Which puts, oops, apostrophe, mistake. Financial pressure on normal people. I think the student has a good point here. Lastly, the student needs to capitalize and they need punctuation over here. Lastly, TV or movies that show violence usually make children traumatic. Make children to magic. I think we're choice. Rather say something like traumatized children and they grow up to be aggressive. That's a big claim. But the student did include a reference. So if our, the lecture, I will just go and read quickly in the source whether they really did say that. It would be fine. Punctuation, we need a full stop. In conclusion, punctuation. Mass media, especially entertainment, can be a negative influence. I think the student needs a couple more commas. In conclusion, mass media come up, especially entertainment. Comma can be a negative influence. Okay, So I get the meaning of this body paragraph more or less. It's about the negative impact of mass media. But the evidence that the student chose was not so strong and it's a little bit vague, a little bit far-fetched. So the student could have worked on the content of this body paragraph. Second body paragraph. This paragraph is about the positive influences of mass media on education. This is a good sentence. Television and newspapers have provided extremely useful educational content. Good, good sentence. Quote. As technology makes further inroads into education, as the iPads has already done in private school classrooms. The ability for pupils as teachers and parents to communicate instantly in terms of increasing efficiency of education. This is a fragment. What, what, what do we need? This? We need a sentence verb here. Incomplete sentence, so frag. Okay, and then we do not need a full stop over here. That one is correct. And this is the last sentence. And also the media keeps the youth informed and gain skills. Long reference. And in modern days, technology is made accessible in schools for research and educational purposes. No punctuation and no conclusion sentence. The bibliography was all right. This day two was 2013 in the essay itself. So either date is wrong or the one in the essay itself is wrong. Okay, So let me quickly give some walks to the student organization. So I gave the students three out of five for organization. For content. I gave the students civil, but the content was a bit all over the place. So I'm going to reduce that to five. Vocabulary. I gave the students three. But I think 0.5 would be more appropriate because they did have some pretty good vocab. Usage. Is all about sentence structure. Use our inflections, subject verb, word order modifiers run on. That was pretty good. The student didn't have many of those issues. Mechanics, however, capitalization, spelling, punctuation, many mistakes. So say two. So as you can see, this scoring rubric really helps lectures very much to be able to objectively mark the ASA and to see where the student is making the most mistakes. In this case, the student must focus on mechanics as well as content and choosing more appropriate or more legitimate sources to backup the statements and claims. Okay, I hope that was helpful and I'll see you in the next session. 75. Sticking to the main topic: I'd like to spend one last section on understanding the essay prompt because if he missed the point of the prompt, that lecture, I cannot give you good marks no matter how brilliant you ASA, or how hard you worked. Have you ever felt frustrated and confused when reading an essay question or prompt? I have, and this is something that everyone struggles with at some point. But once you know how to analyze prompts and, and you should have a good idea of how to do so by now. You will find that they often are very detailed and we'll give you many clues that you need to complete the essay. For example, drawing on John primrose, 2009 and Katie old and venerable 2000, writing a 3000 word essay which critically evaluate the implementation of Western systems of assessment in African universities. So as in this case, the reading requirements are sometimes mentioned by the prompt. So you should read John primrose and Katie old and venerable. Those are the two scholars you need to read before completing the essay. So this gives you a couple of free sources which don't need to find yourself. So it's nice. And word count is often given as is the case here, 3000 word essay. This helps you to determine the length of the essay. And it helps you with organizing, as we saw in Section 14. Okay, so this group of prompts, prompt words, give advantages or disadvantages. Compare or contrast, imply essays where first one view is presented. For example, in body paragraph one, and then the other view. So whenever you see give advantages, disadvantages, compare or contrast, then you know, okay, I have a shortcut, I have my body paragraphs and I'm going to compare the two views using this structure. Okay, Secondly, terms such as sequence, stages or procedure imply a says where steps of a process are given one by one, possibly one for each of the body paragraphs. Thirdly, words such as defined, classify, and identify, imply essays where you systematically describe the meaning of something, possibly breaking it up into themes for the different body paragraphs. Okay, So here's your central issue. And then you're going to break it up into theme one. Theme to Theme 3 in body, paragraph 1, 2, and 3, etc. Okay, and finally, words such as explained and persuade, imply. It says way you take a topic and present its different components to help the reader understand something or to decide in favor of something. So here's your central topic. Then you say aspect one is this aspect too is that aspect 3. And through it all, you're going to say, you must do it because it's good. You must do it because it's a good idea. These are all the bits of statistics and evidence which tells you which make this topic desirable. So the word persuade implies that you're going to convince the reader throughout the entire essay that I should subscribe to this view or look at it from your point of view. In less than six, I provided some definitions for essay prompts, but there are still a few we need to cover. So they attached worksheet called ASA terms explained provides a very good definition for the most common essay prompts. I will now do a quick example of each, just to show you how they would appear in a prompt. And I'm not going to read everything. I'm just going to move quickly through the examples. So please download the worksheet and read the definitions which match each of the examples on screen. You can use pause and play if necessary. Okay, and those prompts with an asterisk are not included in the attached worksheet. So there will only be available on screen. Okay. So in this case, you made it well done. When you're ready to submit an essay. Just read the prompt one last time and check whether all of the instructions have been followed. And another thing on smaller scale, something to avoid when your aim is to stick to the main topic is inserting unrelated ideas into a body paragraph. So remember we said that one body paragraph is one idea. So you can't write the whole paragraph about the benefits of higher education. And then ended by saying, actually homeschooling is also very good. The exception would be if you want to introduce the topic of the next paragraph in the conclusion sentence of the paragraph. But this is more risky and I would not advise that. 76. Higher-order before lower-order editing: There's one more aspect we need to discuss when it comes to editing your own essays and that is higher-order versus low or the editing. Okay, so it's important to address the higher-order issues of your essay before you get down to the mechanics in the lower-order editing. So why is this important? Well, take look at this house. It was struck by a hurricane and it has some serious issues. But you can start with the with fixing, replacing the windows or painting the walls. You need to start with the big issues first, like you need to rebuild the foundation, rebuild some walls. Because if you make some earth-shattering changes, like a new thesis statement or a better structure. All of your careful sentences and painted walls and things might be discarded anyway. So I started by rebuilding their foundation, sought by reimplementing the structure, whatever you need to do to get the big picture of fixed before going to the smaller things like cracked walls or broken windows. Let's look at a few examples of higher-order issues. Organization, purpose, thesis and focus, argument and golden thread and content. So if these things are missing or problematic, it's going to affect the whole house. You won't be able to live in it. Okay. Fix the big big issues first. Then you can go to the low order issues. We get to paint the walls or replace the windows. These are things like punctuation, spelling, sentence structure, mechanics and grammar, and word choice. So lower-order issues are generally sentence level concerns. So first you focus on the big paragraphs, introductions, conclusions, then you get to the small sentences and surface issues. So I hope the screen makes perfect sense now, higher-order issues or concerns should be tackled first when editing. So decide is your problem higher order or lower order? Then start by tackling the higher-order issues like replacing wall before going to the low order issues, like replacing the windows. Okay, thanks for listening, and I'll see you in the next video. 77. Test: I just want to say, well done on having made it this far. I'm very proud of you. Now it is time for the test. Are you ready? It will be in the form of finding mistakes. Again. It will give you the opportunity to practice finding mistakes one last time. Shall sound and the deep. So please download the attached essay. And if you haven't downloaded it yet, the analytic scoring rubric. And then start with higher-order editing and continue to the lower order. And when you're done, I will provide a solution video and you can take your own taste. 78. Test solution video : I hope that went very well. Okay, this look at this test together. Hire audacious first, firstly, organization. Okay, Let's say that the student has a good introduction. The introduction is extremely clear and I can see exactly what function, which sentence for folds here. So it's n, it's quite a good introduction. Then we have a first body paragraph and the second body paragraph, and then the conclusion on the whole, I think mass media informs entertains us well. They're getting more information we want and we are entertained in various ways. That is a pretty good conclusion as well. Very solid since it grabs up all the loose ends that we discussed within the essay. So I'd say the student's organization was pretty good. Let's look at the purpose. Doesn't actually fulfill the prompt in a well structured ASA discuss at least two of these functions. There's this essay truly discussed to mass media functions. And they all say, yes, information and entertainment. So I think the students really aced the purpose of assessing the thesis and the focus. Let's talk about that. Thesis statement was mass media as informing and entertaining us. Thesis statement and the roadmap of very similar. So the student might have tried to make them a bit more distinct, but they did change in forming two information pertaining to entertainment, which is very strong and very good. And the student actually does continue to discuss these in detail. So I'd say the thesis and the focus remains on course draw the AC and therefore the arguments and golden thread are also quite good. The content is the final thing about the higher-order issues. The examples the student uses are sometimes a little bit farfetched, such as the disaster warnings and things. But I'd say the content fits with the topic sentences of each body paragraph. So the content was pretty good. Now we are ready to go into the lower order issues, such as punctuation, spelling, sentence structure, mechanics, grammar and word choice. Mass media has becoming an important part of our lives. I think he recognized that it should be, has become. So this is word form. That's a pretty good background information. That's media is informing an entertaining us. Okay, capitalization mistake. This essay will discuss information and entertainment as two major aspects of mass media. Excellent sentence. Let's go to the first body paragraph. Firstly, is a good transition because it fits with the second body paragraph transition. Firstly, mass media gives us information of different things. For example, Capital News. Okay, I think this is a fragment, sentence fragment. The student might have combined these two sentences. Firstly, mass media gives us information of different things, comma, for example, news. And then here, there should be a capital letter. We get most of the news about what is happening in the world and in our communities through the news. Williams Brown in her 2002. Oh, I happen to know that this should be 2012. So that's content error. But it's a very good quote. Other than that good quote, well applied news informs the public about things that are happening, that works. And we get warnings of unforeseen circumstances such as water and hair. Oops. Wrong word. Air pollution in a location. Very good sentence. The media may inform the public about dangers such as political killings and harmful products. Again, content area with the date. Okay, and then there's a big run on over here because I think the sentence should have ended over there. Following this, the media can warn people about natural disasters such as approaching hurricane or tornadoes. Again, hurtful. Okay, and here the student made the mistake of putting the full stop before the brackets. So it should actually can go over here. Other thing is, there should have been Williams with an S. That's the center. So word form. Then the student has another Kurt. These warnings or lead people to take the necessary precautions. Okay, that's pretty good. Again, a big run on, since the student did not end the sentence there. The media, okay, capital letter mostly informs us about the danger of natural disasters with an S word form and gives us word form and wrong word. Gives us possible spelling solutions on how to manage when such things happens. Subject verb agreement, there should be no S when such things happen. When her and Dominic 2000 page one. Good reference except that you could have left out. For example, how to save yourself during an earthquake. You can go under the table door frame. Okay, so I think this one is redundant. Don't include it. For example, to save yourself during an earthquake, you can go under the table, missing information or door frame. When our Dominic leave out the comma. And actually I notice now that the problem will ever, to conclude good transition. One of the important part is information, one of what? There is some missing information over here. Okay, now we get to the second body paragraph. Secondly, the mass media groups maze. That's a big mistake. The mass media is entertaining us in many ways. For example, capital punctuation. Events such as fashion, event or awards. I think this should be plural. Intense color words. This is to entertain us about privacy and celebrities. I think that those three words are redundant. The student could have said events such as fashion events or awards, entertain us. And then usually we say entertain us with, with privacy and celebrities. Here we have a big run on again, since the sentence should have ended up with their other famous people, including movie stars, athletes and royalty also closely followed by media. Excellent quote. And we get music. Wrong word should be end from media. Different types here we have a run on starting different types of music and the music that can accommodate everybody. And then we get sport run on. We can watch international sports and live sports and very good use of the word sports by the way. And get to know sports stars. Good, but capital over here. On television in particular, there are many different kids of programs. Oops, wrong word should have been kinds of programs that provide entertainment, such as drama, comedies, cartoons, and reality shows. In confusion, we get entertained by mass media. Punctuation, please. We'll stop. Again. Capitalisation. On the whole. I think mass media informs, entertains us well. Entertain, whoops. Word form. We are getting more information we want and we are entertained in various ways. Or we're choice. Since I think the students should have said the, we are getting the information we want and we are entertained in various ways. Okay, just as a last note over here, in conclusion, we get entertained. Wrong word. It should be are, we are entertained. Farmers media. And then you would have noticed that the student did not include a bibliography. Which is a pretty big mistake. Right? Let's do some scoring using the analytic scoring rubric for organization, content, vocabulary usage in mechanics. That's what some marks here. If we go to the analytic scoring rubric and then look at all the criteria over here to help us decide on a good mark. Let's see. Organization for other five. What do you think they deserved? I think the organization was pretty tight. Content. The sun is out of ten marks. So let's say for content, I think this seven fits pretty well. Seven of 10. Vocabulary. I think 3.5 goes well with this essay. Now I got to usage. We're going to have to choose 2.5. And lastly, mechanics. Okay, the students made many mistakes with capitalisation. So I think we should 2.5. Written Work has several major errors in capitalization, punctuation, and spelling. As the total 1945. However, the student had so many mistakes with bibliography being missing and the formula of the in-text referencing not being completely correct that I have to take off three marks for referencing. Therefore, the student Valley had 16.5. I think the structure of this essay is quite tight. It's very good. So the biggest problem the student has is small world issues and capitalisation. 79. Outro: Thank you for taking the time to do the test. A trust that he found a significant number of mistakes in the essay. Now that this section is complete, academic methods of scoring should be clear to you. I think it'll also be easier for you to identify mistakes in your own work. If you suspect that there are some unidentified mistakes hiding in your work, read your essay out loud. This will help you to find any issues that still remain. 80. PART 9 ~ It's a Wrap! : Congratulations on completing this course. It has been a marathon joining. And I'm so pleased and proud and grateful that you've stuck it into to the end. If you'd like to stay in contact, please feel free to go over to YouTube and check out my music video channel called. They got a trio, which is a channel I have with my mother and my sister. So I want to wish you all the best in your future endeavors may get into that university and obtain that diploma and their degree. And even beyond that, placing godless hope to see you soon. Okay.