Transcripts
1. Circle that makes us unproductive: Makerspace for stress to get out. How this sounds too. It sounds like stress is trapped somewhere. And usually when we are under the stress, we feel like we are trapped. It's like does stress is pulling us and holding us somewhere and we are not able to see the exit. We don't know where to go to get out. So what are we gonna do this week is making the space for all that stress to clear everything, to clear the path so that stress can literally get out of our life. How are we gonna do that? By the cluttering space, the clutter and mine decline. So those two sounds like two different things, but basically, they are really depend, de, depending on each other. And what is the most important thing is mined, the clerk internal decluttering. But we have to do some external declaring. You probably know at least one person who is constantly cleaning, constantly trying to tidy the space, to organize everything. And when you look at the environment of that person, you can see clearly that everything is really a good organized and everything is tidy and clean and perfect. But when you see that person, that person looks really disturbed, really not peaceful. So what that person is trying to do is to trick his or her brain by cleaning and making some order on external part so that it can feels that there is an order in internal part in our mind, in brain. Okay? So it goes basically like, okay, I am going to clean everything, I'm going to organize everything. I'm going to clear this space. So I'm going to have a feeling that my mind is clear and there's nothing wrong there. It's just simply the fact when we are in organized room, organized environment, clean, simple environment. That means that we are going to feel a relief. We are going to be less stress. Okay? So the connection is mass is creating stress. So when we see this, it looks like there is something simple to do to feel less stress is like OK, I'm going to just Clean this mass and I'm not going to feel the stress again is not so easy as it sounds. Somehow. We just stuck and we are not able to clean everything, to organize everything, to just organize our staff and our life. And now we'll find out why is that. Ok. What's happening? We quit and we are creating more mess, right? More mess. And then that mass again creates stress. Okay? So as you can see, this is a circle and we are going Mass stress, mass stress, stress. But let's answer the question why we are not able to simply resolve this situation, okay? There is a physiological and psychological reason for that. As you see here, I wrote brain because maybe you will not be able to recognize what is here because of my drawing abilities again. But yes, this is the brain. Okay, so when we are under the stress, we know that the level of cortisol is high. And when the level of cortisol is high, electric signals in amygdala are vacuuming up. I'm trying to find the world, are warming up. Everything goes there. That's the part of the brain that is responsible for our fear and for our emotions. Ok? But higher level of cortisol is shrinking the synaptic connections here, right here in the prefrontal cortex. And what's going on there? This part of the brain is directly responsible for concentration, decision-making, behavior, reasoning, and also social interactions. So we're not able to concentrate. We are not able to make decisions. And what is organizing? Decision making? What am I gonna do with this stuff? What am I gonna do with that? Am I going to throw this? And we're going to keep this one. What is my next step? What is my next decision? Okay? So basically here, we are stopped by stress. Ok? We are not able to concentrate, make decision to clear that mass. And we are going to the circle, going, going, going round and round and round. And you're stuck here. So what are we gonna do this week? We're going to try to get out. I will help you and teach you how to get out of this circle and how to live a free and stress free life.
2. A student's guide to getting the most from this course: Okay. District. Okay.
3. The science behind "mess causes stress": Now, when we know how mass stress, stress, mass relationship function, let's answer the question why this relationship is like that. Winemakers directly affect on a stress level, on a behavioral plan. So first reason is we provoke our senses. We communicate with the world with our senses. And when we are in a messy environment, in this organized environment, where provoking our senses like tactile, visual and AuthFactory sensors. So we have cognitive functions, high cognitive functions. And when we are looking at something is not just that we are looking at that OPT, what our brain is doing is so much more than just noticing this pillow right behind the camera, for example. Right now, when I am looking at the camera, I'm also looking ie can perceive and I can see that pillow right behind. So I'm as you're seeing the pillow, I'm noticing the texture of the PLO, the material of the PLO, the color of the pillow, the connection of the pillow and bad, for example. That's what our cognitive functions and our perception are doing all the time. So we are just exploring informations constantly all the time. If I have ten pillows behind the camera, that will be too much for my brain. If i have on one simple white below, it will be okay. My brand will be satisfied with just that simple color and just one object. But when we are in a room full of everything in the environment, full of everything constantly, a lot of colors, a lot of objects, a lot of everything. Our senses are overwhelmed with doors, all those informations that our brain needs to process. So that's the number one. Number two, it creates no control feeling in our behaviour, in our mind, in our life, nor control feeling. Ok. We are thinking that we're not able to organize a simple stuff around us. And then it goes deeper in our mind and the subconscious. And we feel overwhelmed with all those obligations. And then we start to think that we're not able, then we are not capable to do something like that, that we don't worth it, that we are not smart. And all some other things. One of the B6 fears, that is for all human on Earth, is fear of losing the control, not having the control. Okay? And why this is really disturbing and distracting and depressing when we noticing that we don't have control of our real-life. Some people tend to understand this and not relate so much. Okay, I'm not capable to organize my folders, so I'm not capable to organize my life an item worth it. But I've seen this pattern of thinking in my coaching and counseling practice so many times. Okay, we can fix it. Don't work. Nor relaxed nor joy. When we have so many things around us, that sense to our brain that information that something isn't finished it. Okay? And that automatically means our brain means that we have obligations. We have some obligations to finish. And that's why we don't have time to relax and to Joy. So if you're in a messy room, even if you don't have any other obligations, you won't be able to relax. And just to feel peaceful as you see this environment that is disorganized. And I don't mean just the things like pillows, glows or file folders. Okay. There's a lot of things that we have to organize. But what it's doing to our brain and our life is that we feel completely anxious, we feel completely nervous, and we're simply stressed out. I think you understood what am I trying to say? So now is the time for us to start doing something specific. Let's go to next lecture in, let's start with that. The cloud.
4. Where is your stress: Let's call him Bob. Okay, hi Bob. Bob is here to help me to represent you metaphorically. Whoa, we mean when we say that we are under distress. So I want you to imagine that you are Bob, Okay? So Bob is holding two boxes. One is right here and another is right here. And that's what all we do in our lives. We are holding the one box with all the things that are in our environments. So external, physical things. And we hold another box that is like a mental box. Everything, what is internal? So here, when you look around your self, what you can see, for example, in Bob's case, he have 15 pair of shoes, a lot of different colored files, papers all around room, some old things that he doesn't use, old Hummer, old boxes, all juicer and remained a lot of boxes and ten pills instead of one. Okay. Bob is in that circle. You remember we're talking about a circle before. So because of that, right here is his stress trap, it right there. Okay. Is not able to get out. Bob is watching his Looking at this door and he really, really wants to open that door and push all those things out and feel free and relaxed and stress-free in his life. Just like you. Just like me. Okay. So we have this box right here, but like it's not enough, we have another box, the heavier one. Right here. In this box, we carry all, all things that not, that are not external and physical. So we carry our ideas, we carry memory, our fears, regrets, our obligations are plans in that we have in our life. And that's okay. That's something that we simply cannot erase from our head. But there is something that we all do and we don't need to do in this box, will let some news to get n let some every information from media that we don't need to know. My grandpa and my n-gram. They are very old, but they had a very, very happy life. When I asked them about anxiety and about stress, they said no. We had a really wonderful time when we got married, when we were building house, when we got kids, that period of time was really relaxed. They say it like that. And I am talking to them that people in that period of time had a lot of stress and they can't understand why. But when I talk to down, I see that in his period of time, in their period of time, they had maybe five channels on the TV. No social media? No. No any media? Social contact. They interact with each other, with their neighbors in person. They didn't compared. Okay. Simply making the story short. They didn't let in this box any unnecessary news. And what do I mean when I say unnecessary? Why is necessary for you to wake up, drink coffee, and watch the news about war, about who died today, about all those terrible things that people can do to each other, about financial crazes, about anything that is negative. Ok? I know we all know on a subconscious level and conscious level what's going on around us. But why do we let those things literally in front of our face every, every morning and we are constantly seeking for more. Let's see, let's see what's happening more. So this, our box, which is more important than this one, you will agree. It is full of crap, full of so many unnecessary things. So we have to decide and we have to empty these two boxes immediately. Because when all those two boxes are full, we're simply not happy. We're simply stressed. We are anxious. You're depressed. And we don't know how to open that. Them tour.
5. Decluttering method: How to open this door and how to get out from that circle. There are so many different tools and techniques that we can use to declutter space in mind. But again, when we are trying to find so many different techniques, we find ourself. This third, we, again don't know what to choose, what the try, let's try this, let's try that. And then what we do is nothing, everything is the same. Because of that, I chose one simple and very efficient technique. And all you have to do is to just decide to follow the rules. Okay? You probably heard about four boxes method. And here you see the three boxes. And that's because I want to keep this very simple. Very simple. Okay. So that's why you'll need through boxes. I want you to get literally three boxes, containers, anything you have. This box right here is true. So thanks. We want to control. This box here is cell or donate dominate. And this box here is keep. If you are confident and strongly determined to finally do that declutter, you can use to box method, which is just troll and Kip. So this is something what are we gonna do with those things? And for this week, right now, your task will be to empty this box. Let's go.
6. Now let's declutter your SPACE: Now we can start with the actual work. I want you to put all the things you have around yourself and start to separating. My advice for you is not to go too much on, not to spend so much time on thinking, okay? If those things are not sentimental for you, and if those things are not so valuable, okay, so the simple things, what I need, what I don't need, what I really need, and what I really need. If right now, I said tornado coming. And I have to decide what I'm going to carry with me and what I'm going to leave here, what is going to be okay? So we need a sponge. I want you to draw all that unnecessary shoes and things okay. That you don't wear anymore, that you don't need anymore. If you want. Have some number on things, a number of things, you can make a rule. I want to have ten off everything or five of everythings. For example, five T-shirts, five pants, five, this five that ok. Pick some number, okay. Just open a little space here and troll something. If you want to give as a gift something, you can put it to this box right here. The cell don't need or give as a gift. Ok. But it's still somehow troll. Okay. In one box, what do you want to keep later? We are going to organize everything. What you are going to keep. Ok. a little more space for a SAM files, folders. Alright. Draw everything, every paper that you don't need anymore. Said down and look around those papers, files, and folders because they really can't create mass. Draw everything you don't need. Then, okay. A little bit more space right here for all those nine pillows you dont need okay? Pillows. This is just an example. You probably have something that you don't need and it makes you feel just overwhelmed. So every stuff that you don't need just drove cell or keep drove cell or kipp tried to be efficient, tried to focus only on that. Try not to sit and think over and over and over again. How are you going to do that? Because you have phase number two, okay, I think that this is not final. It will be easier for you. Not final, I'm just sorting. So not so many pillows. Boxes. We don't want to how 20 little boxes? We want to have two or three big boxes to put all those little boxes in those big boxes. And that's something that can be your rule. Okay? It will create really, really, really simple space. Boxes and everything. What is old, which you don't need anymore, everything that you really don't use AND or you will replace. Okay? Look about right now. There is some space. So this dress can start and going out. Okay? So maybe we can say that Bob right now feels like this. Okay? Alleles smile. When you finish with all those boxes. Draw Nate and sell. Please go and literally draw that box. This box.
7. Now let's declutter your MIND: I hope now you have clean and clear and organized environment. And I hope that the fact that on you to feel a little bit relaxed, it was important to make our space clear so we can work on our, another box that is really important and we can work on internal only when we clear the external. Okay? Bob is filling a little bit better right now, and I hope you too. But Bob still have this box on his head with his ideas, memory, all the fear that his thinking about every day, every night when he goes to sleep with all news, bad news that he face every morning when he turned on TV. All regrets when he remember his past, all obligations that have to do and plans for the future. And also when he wants to relax, he opened his phone and scrolling oil bid down and up and see some things that he would like B, would like to do. But he thinks he is not good as all those people are on that social media. You already know that problem, okay? So what Bob needs to do is to use this system with this box. What is different here is, with this box we were actually doing where we're actually drawing things with our hands. And here we have to use our imagination. We have to do that on a mental level by our thoughts, our beliefs, and our decision-making abilities. First thing that I want you to do this week is to simply draw news. So you have seven days to not watch news. That also is for media. It is very hard not to open and being Dutch with any media or social media or something. But what you can do, you can use this media, social media to watch something what is positive and inspirational. I will give you examples later you will be able to see. And what are you gonna do is you're going to try to wake up some positive emotions such as joy, optimism, com, feelings, every, every emotions that are from positive spectrum, okay? Because when we focus on media or own news, we are waking up mostly the emotions from the negative spectrum. You will be able to see the picture of the all emulsions. So your first task is to draw news and social media negative side of social media for this seven days. Okay. What are we going to deal with? Our fear? What is fear? Fear is basically sitting and worrying about things that we are scared off. And worrying is imagining. And it's like writing some script. Like what do you think? What will happen, what could happen? Okay? So your task, second task for this fear is to sell it or donate or Boreal your fear to somebody. I want you to imagine this is a great technique. Okay? There's one technique like time for warring. So you'll pick the time during the day when you want to sit and worry, okay? And you have one hour to worry. This technique, another technique is you can imagine that you can borrow your fear or bore or your feelings to somebody. Okay? So I want you to really, really put an effort and try to imagine that you are borrowing your fears to me. I will take all your fears right now for seven days and will keep them. I will return them for you whom worry, but please just leave them to me. Okay. Right here. Regrets. I will take your regrets also, if you don't mind. Okay. Your regrets are going to sign. Yeah. Okay. You're a disrupter. So I will take your regrets also because what are aggressive wouldn't need them for what do I need them for? Do you can't can you do something with them right now, something useful? No. They can only harm your feelings and your day. So I want you to imagine that you are borrowing your regrets to me just for seven days. I will give them back to, you know, worry. Obligations. You can borrow her obligations through me. You can just give them to somebody. You can't. You simply have to accept them. And that's why I'm going to teach you how to sort noun and how to simply create the plan. How can you just finish them regularly without in the stress? Okay? So obligations. We have to keep you then. Plants. Also. We are going to keep our plants because plants are something that, that's simply positive. Ok, we are using hope and imagination. And that's the opposite of what we are going to do. What we are doing with fears. We are using our imagination to create some negative scripts. And with plants were doing opposite. We are using our imagination to create some positive outcomes. Memories. We want to keep down the path of them. I want you to keep your positive memories, which means think of everything positive and beautiful that happens in your life. There must be at least five things. And if you have bad memory, of course you have. I want you to borrow those memory. Memories to me. I don't know how this sounds to you, but you have to be determined to try something like this, okay? Because it is really, really helpful. We have external material garbage and we have mental garbage, and we have to get rid of that mental garbage. If we want to grow.
8. Your 3 tasks: Your task is to borrow me. Fear, regrets, and what we said, yeah, bad memory. Those are the things that you will try to avoid and skip. Imagine there in my house, here in my office. Okay. But just for seven days, there are so many days in one year. So why don't you try to just feel okay for seven days? Just practice to feel. Okay. Just practice to live without fear, regrets, and bad memories. Okay. Second thing is to avoid news and social media as much as you can just drilled a news, no news this week. I want you to never turn on news in the morning and watch the negative news. Simply don't collect unnecessary and negative informations in your mind for this seven days. Can you do that? Okay? So when you erase news and media from your alive for seven days and when you moral me or fears, sorry, bad memories and regrets. Hm, it looks like there is a space in this box because you are just right here under this box and under that stress. So you're here with your obligations, plans, and ideas, just simple positive things. What are we gonna do right now? I'm going to help you and teach you what to do with all those things, how to sort them, how to organize them. Because if you follow this, what I tell you, if you really add to this box for all those, from all those negative things that we were talking about in this lecture, you will automatically feel less stressed. Now it's time for you to start with this right away today.
Self Clarity Academy By Sanja Stojanovic, MA Psychology Professor, Writer, Creator
