10 Steps To Permanent Happiness | Self Clarity Academy By Sanja Stojanovic | Skillshare

Playback Speed

  • 0.5x
  • 1x (Normal)
  • 1.25x
  • 1.5x
  • 2x

Watch this class and thousands more

Get unlimited access to every class
Taught by industry leaders & working professionals
Topics include illustration, design, photography, and more

Watch this class and thousands more

Get unlimited access to every class
Taught by industry leaders & working professionals
Topics include illustration, design, photography, and more

Lessons in This Class

    • 1.



    • 2.



    • 3.

      How to use this course?


    • 4.

      What happiness isn't?


    • 5.

      What happiness is?


    • 6.

      STEP 1


    • 7.

      STEP 2


    • 8.

      STEP 3


    • 9.

      STEP 4


    • 10.

      STEP 5


    • 11.

      STEP 6


    • 12.

      STEP 7


    • 13.

      STEP 8


    • 14.

      STEP 9


    • 15.

      STEP 10


    • 16.



  • --
  • Beginner level
  • Intermediate level
  • Advanced level
  • All levels

Community Generated

The level is determined by a majority opinion of students who have reviewed this class. The teacher's recommendation is shown until at least 5 student responses are collected.





About This Class

This is a lifetime journey that we will take together. I will be your teacher, guide, psychologist, motivator and friend.

To be truly happy we need to learn and understand why we are unhappy, what is happiness and how we can achieve it. We have different types of happiness, but here we are going to be focused on permanent happiness.

For permanent happiness, we have to make changes in our minds and soul. So we are going to learn about long-term solutions, methods, and techniques because that is the only way to be permanently happy.

According to my approach, I made a combination of knowledge and a real experience to create this course.

I am talking about happiness as a psychologist

who spent many years studying and researching the psychology of happiness.

But what is more important, I am talking about happiness as someone who finds

himself in a difficult situation, experienced deep sorrow, and then managed

to return to the path of the happy ones. And I succeeded.

It will be my pleasure to help you to take your life in your hands and create a meaningful and happy life.

We will learn about a different life and personal tools and they are so powerful, so when you master

them, you will be able to use them to manage your thoughts, emotions, behavior, and life.

This all works because the process is always :

Though> Emotion> Reaction> Behavior> Constant behavior> Life style> Happiness or unhappiness.

All 10 steps are connected, and to take the next step you have to finish the previous one first.

After every step you will have a TASK and find PDF/WORD files with exercises and tasks, so you will be able to apply what you learned immediately.

Open your mind, open your heart and take my hand! Let's go!

When you finish the course, please don't hesitate to ask me anything you want. In generally about course or about your personal situation.

I am here for you anytime!

Who this course is for:

  • Anyone who want to discover a more happier and meaningful life!
  • Everyone who want to get lifetime tools for permanent peace, joy and happiness!
  • Everyone who is ready for beautiful personal change

What you will learn:

  • Manage your own thoughts, emotions, behavior and life
  • Live life to the fullest
  • Feel happiness, joy and life satisfaction
  • Managed to make your life happy, fulfilled and meaningful
  • Know how to use the full potential of your mind, body and soul
  • Love yourself no matter what
  • Enjoy life

Meet Your Teacher

Teacher Profile Image

Self Clarity Academy By Sanja Stojanovic

MA Psychology Professor, Writer, Creator


JOIN MY NEWEST CLASS: Top Productivity Habits & Hacks for Creative Creators: System to Transform Your Creative Work/Output

Subscribe to my YouTube Channel

Hi my creative friends,

My name is Sanja, I am MA Psychology professor, BA Psychologist, writer and founder of Self Clarity Academy. I dedicate all my time to gathering knowledge, combining valuable ideas and creating meaningful and useful online courses. Each of my courses is carefully designed and covered with scientific facts followed by interactive workbooks and presentations.

Through my work, I am trying to answer one question: How can we cope with our life obstacles, live our bes... See full profile

Level: All Levels

Class Ratings

Expectations Met?
  • 0%
  • Yes
  • 0%
  • Somewhat
  • 0%
  • Not really
  • 0%

Why Join Skillshare?

Take award-winning Skillshare Original Classes

Each class has short lessons, hands-on projects

Your membership supports Skillshare teachers

Learn From Anywhere

Take classes on the go with the Skillshare app. Stream or download to watch on the plane, the subway, or wherever you learn best.


1. Intro: 2. Welcome: Hello and welcome to course, 10 steps to permanent happiness. My name is Sonya, and I'm psychologist. I work as online psychology, concealer and life coach. The areas off psychology that I worked on the most are anxiety, depression and stress on one side and positive psychology which include well being and happiness on other side. So the combination off my work is based on the most problematic areas off our lives and most problems that we all have today and on the other side things and our streams that we can use to cope with this site. So let me explain you. What are we going to do in this course and what are you going to learn? You will learn what happiness isn't and what happiness is. You will learn about tools, methods and techniques that I certificate approved as helpful when we want to achieve permanent happiness. No, Let's explain what I mean when I say permanent happiness and why the word permanent is in the title of this course. Is there such a thing as permanent happiness? We have instant happiness, some little things that we can do really fast and that can rise up the happiness hormones and makes us happy for a little while and on the other side, there are things that can makes us to feel happiness, long term happiness. And that means that we have to work on fundamentals. The roots, the personal skills, believes, system thinking, style, some more of the things. And that's what are we going to do in this course we will not going to learn about superficial things and instant things that can helps us to be instantly happy. I will mention those things off course. I will include that part also, what can we do to that feel? Instant happiness. But the focus on this course will be what we really can do to achieve that long term happiness, not just instant happiness. What is my approach? My approach is always combination on science, off psychology and practice. Practical part experience my personal experience and experience with my clients in my coaching and counseling practice. So that's how this course is made. It's a combination off science, off psychology, size of happiness and practical part. What was those tools and techniques that worked for me that worked for my clients? All these tools, techniques and methods in this course are designed to became your permanent and personal characteristics. I would like you to implement them in your belief system in your thinking style, so you will be able to achieve the permanent change. And that's why we have the word permanent in this course. When we learn the fundamentals, when we explore identifying and change the mistakes that we have in our thinking style and believe system that makes us feel unhappy, that's when we will be able to achieve permanent and long term happiness. So in this course we will learn how to identify how to change mistakes, how to create new belief system and how to develop and implement all those skills that are needed for achieving long term happiness and peace. 3. How to use this course?: Let's say something about how should you use this course and what you can expect. So this course is designed as 10 step journey When I say 10 steps, Uh, it doesn't matter. Is it going to be 10 days, 10 weeks, 10 months? 10 years? How much time you will dedicate to every step? I always recommend to dedicate at least one week for practicing and implementing the knowledge from Anne for any election. OK, but what is important is to follow from step one to step 10 because they're all connected. And please don't skip steps. You will see how they are connected, okay? And it's very important to stop to learn and to think about every step to take time and toe work on everything that you learn on every step. Please don't escape resources. Every pity of file that is below every lecture is very important and is there for a reason ? The escape Pdf files don't skip tasks and exercises. Okay, so download all of them. You can use them on your computer or you can play them, and I always recommend to print or to just take one notebook. You can print them and you can put them on some folder which you can title like my my personal happiness change, given any title. But it would be great to have all that PdF files in one folder and that you can always open and remind yourself about all that skills, tools and methods and remind yourself that you achieved something that you learn something and that you worked on your personal girl. Some of the things that you will learn in this course you maybe heard already. But some of the things you will do for the first time and you will hurt for the first time . So I would like you to just skip this skepticism. And it doesn't matter how it sounds to you anything that you were hurt here on this course . Your task is to do everything I ask to try to put an effort and expressed. That's the only way you will be able to accept. And you will be able to grow everything that I will teach you on this course is already tested. I test that all off this steps and also my clients that I worked with for a long time. They also test that this, then steps. So my recommendation for you, according to my experience, is to really trust, to really open your mind, to do all those exercises, to dedicate your time, to really put an effort to understand and to implement all those things that we will learn on this journey. 4. What happiness isn't?: in order to find out what happiness is. First, we have to answer the question. What happiness isn't and that's how we will be able to truly found out how to achieve that long term and complete happiness. So chocolate. Very nice and tasty. Meal warm cold when it's really cold outside kiss Widow one will off New car, New shoes, New back. Is that happiness? If your answer is yes, I can tell you that you are maybe 10% right with 90% wrong. Those things are connected with emotion. Off pleasure and pleasure is really not the same thing as happiness. And there is the biggest and the most common mistake that we made when we were trying to be happy. So we use pleasure as happiness. We use this feeling off pleasure constantly, were trying to achieve it. We're trying to do all those things that gives us pleasure and then at the end of the day, were not so happy. We're happy from moment to moment, while we are doing all those things eating that cake, going to shopping and all those little things that makes us happy. But at the end of the day, we ask ourself. Okay? I did all those things during the day. So why? I am not happy, Why I feel like this and then off the day. And the answer is because there is a huge difference between pleasure and happiness. Pleasure is the part. Little part on the happiness. But if we try to base, um, our our happiness to pleasure, it will be just a failure. So first in the biggest difference is between the chemicals that they're in charge and connected with pleasure and happiness in our brain. Okay. So pleasure is connected with dopamine. You all heard about dopamine? Okay. And dopamine is based on reviving system. Yes, Dublin makes us happy. It's the one off the four basic chemicals that makes us happy. Which are dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin and and difference. Okay, but dopamine is not in charge for the long term happiness. Dopamine is here. Two brings us that feeling off pleasure and inviting system. If you want to just rise up the document in your organism, set any goal, anything that will be reviving for you. A material are not material. And you will feel that little bit of joy or you can call it happiness, Okay, but it's really exhausting. If we are using that mattered to achieve the long term happiness, it's not possible. And it's exhausting to constantly trying to find reviving and dividing behavior and thanks . Okay, so pleasure is connected with the dopamine happiness. Long term happiness is connected with a serotonin. It's a different chemical in our brain than the bombing. So dopamine. It's just for short. Little pleasures in serotonin is here to bring us that stable well being and, according to positive psychology, the definition of happiness. It's subjective, well being, feeling off, subject, well being and satisfaction with life. And also there is one trick with dopamine. It's really easy for us to became addicted. Okay, a document is connected with all the addictions that we have. Second difference is because pleasure is a short lived emotion. As we said, Okay, I want to achieve something. Some goal. Never mind. Okay, And then I do that. It's satisfying for me or in the chocolate cake or anything on its finished, so I have to do it again and again constantly. And when we speak about happiness that we want to achieve in that we are going to learn in this course, it's a long term. It's something that will last. It's something that have roots and that is stable and constant. Also, there is the difference between pleasure and happiness that pleasure is connected with receiving. When we're taking something where we're doing something for our self and happiness, it's all about getting some. Research showed that we feel really and truly more happier when we, for example, have to buy the gift for somebody else. Then when we receive the gift. So what is the conclusion? You can notice that when we speak about pleasure, we speak about things that are external, that are really, really something that is basically always material and outside. And when we speak about long term complete happiness, it's all about internal things which mean something that is inside that is not material. It's about our cognitive abilities. It's about our thinking style. It's about our beliefs. It's about how we think how we perceive and what are we do mentally. And that's what is the topic off this course. Okay, so now when we know what happiness isn't, let's go and find out what happiness is 5. What happiness is?: now when we know what happiness isn't, maybe it will be easier for us to answer the question. What happiness is easier because it's really not easy to answer on this question. And we're not the first who will try to answer a lot of different psychologists. Never psychologists, philosophers, doctors during the history they all try to answer on this question. There is no specific one and unique definition off happiness, but there are a lot of different definitions, and now we're going to take a look on some of them, and we're going to see what some important researchers in this field sad about happiness. - According to this definitions, we can say that happiness is defined in a different ways, but also we can just conclude some similar things. All definitions have some similar things. First of all, we are made off cognitive, part emotional part and physiological part. Those are those three parts that were made off and that are in charge for everything we do in our life. Okay. And also, happiness is the term by those three parts. Okay, we have that biological and physiological part, which is those chemicals that we mentioned. Okay, Dopamine, serotonin and different end oxidants. We will talk a little bit more about them later. But that's that physiological, part biological part. And when we speak about that chemical, this balance, it can lead to clinical depression. Well, depression is the opposite side off the happiness as we all know. So in this course, we will not talk about that. Clinical depression will not go deep there. Okay, we will more focus on cognitive part. So what can we do with our high cognitive functions like perception, thinking and believe system? You just try to achieve that long term happiness we are going to see what are those things that we will be able to do to just increase those happiness hormones naturally, with some food and exercise. But we were more focus on the cognitive part, cognitive and emotional part because as you can see, all those definitions that we saw, they put in the centre off the happiness, perception and cognitive part off us. Okay, they put in the center the way we see the way we perceive the way we think our belief system and what what is really, really interesting And what makes me happy is that it says to us that we can do something with our willpower to feel more happy. Okay, so in positive psychology, happiness is defined as subjective, well being and life satisfaction. So what is subjective? Well being is how we see our life and ourselves is how we value and how we perceive all the things that happens to us and all the things that are happening to us, which is something what is external. Okay, what's happening to us and how we perceive and how we see ourselves. How are we satisfied with those two pictures? And that's what are we going to do in this course? We are not going to focus on superficial things like what to eat, to be happy, or what are those instant little things that we can simply due to feel that a little bit of happiness? No. We will focus on fundamentals on cognitive part, an emotional part of our human being that is the base off the long term happiness. So if you are ready, I think we can start with the first step 6. STEP 1 : so welcome to step number 11 step back if we want to forward. First thing that we have to do is to take a step back to stop and to take a step back. So that's what are we going to do right now? I want you to take a step back from yourself from your past, from your present moment from your future from your family members from your relationship from everything. Just click the post and take a step back. If you want to grow personally first, you have to take a look inside. We said that happiness is not outside, so I will help you in this step to stop looking outside for that happiness. I want you to look inside deeply inside yourself in order to see who you truly are, who you truly are. I prepared one exercise for you that will help you to be objective and to honestly and rationally see yourself, because that's really important. We have problems because we can see ourselves like somebody else can see us completely rationally, and that's why we cannot move on. We are just, um, stuck there. So this exercise you will find below in the pdf file. I prepared some questions for you that are really important for us to find out who we are, What we want in our life. Those questions will help you to find out who you are. What do you like? What you don't like in your life? What do you truly think about yourself? How should you change? Should you change? Is there anything that you basically have to change? Okay, so don't know that. Pdf file and and through those questions, honestly, But there is one little thing that I want to mention and that is really important and will help you to do this exercise in right way in order to be objective. Okay, You have to imagine that all those questions are about someone else. Somebody else. Who? You. No. Basically, you have to imagine that you are somebody else. You're answering about your question about yourself, but try to answer like somebody else. Like you are able to just jump out of your body and be another person and see yourself okay , and answer on the question about that person. So that's why all those questions in this questionnaire will be like you're answering about somebody else. Questions will be that she likes something. Or does he like Okay, but questions are about you. It's important to try to exclude a little bit off those emotions and to be really honest in rational, Um, this step is really important. All steps are connected. So please download this pdf file, Answer on those questions and then we will continue. 7. STEP 2: So if you finished with the step number one and if you finish that questionnaire now, you have your own ist opinion of yourself in front of yourself on the paper and you have the list off things about yourself off your characteristics that you like and that you I don't like. So what are we going to do with that list? What are going to do with the person that is on the paper? We are going to accept. Welcome to next step acceptance. So acceptance is really important skill, really important for happiness, for achieving that complete and long term happiness. Why, when we are not accepting something, that means that you're fighting against it? And that means that we are not satisfied with that part. That could be something from our life. Some situation or that can be. Some are personal characteristic, and I want you to focus more on personal characteristics because they're really important to be accepted. So all those negative things from that list, how is hard to accept them? Yes, it's Erhard, So that's why I want to share with you. Want simple technique that will be really useful and we'll help you to do that. I want you to imagine that all those characteristics on that least and everything that you wrote on that list belongs to somebody who you really and truly love and care about. That can be your family member, sister, brother Mom, That parent child, some friend, partner, anyone who you really, really, really care for. Okay. And I want you to trust me and use imagination. Okay. You have to, um, try to use imagination here. I don't think that anything is silly or stupid. Just try. Okay? Imagine that person cames to you or write you or call you and tell you Look at this paper. Those are all my characteristics. Look, my life I am really said I am really unsatisfied. I am depressed. I don't know what to do with all those things that are on a paper with all those my characteristics and things that happens in my in my life. Help me. What should I do? Your task for this step is to write a letter to write comfort ladder to that person that you picked. I won't try to try to come for that person. And to pick some words that can make that person feel better about all those things. So now lead the instructions and I will be waiting you at the end off this video. - I hope you finished with this letter and really interesting in to find out what you wrote there. What? You wrote their positive or negative things. I can't say that for sure. You wrote so many positive things there and it was so easy, right? It was not so hard to just comfort somebody who we we truly love. So why is it so hard for you to say all those things to yourself? Why is that so hard to comfort ourselves or to say? OK, all those characteristics belongs to me. But it's OK. They are mine. And I love myself no matter what. Because you probably said on that paper. Yes. Okay. You have this negative characteristics, but it doesn't matter. I love you. I love you no matter what. Why don't you say that to yourself? You have nothing from not loving your yourself. You have nothing and you can't go forward if you don't learn how to comfort yourself and how to cope with all those characteristics. How to accept them. The first point off this step is acceptance, of course, is to learn to accept. Because when we accept something that means that we can really go forward If we stuck with something that we're not accepting it can Onley keep us there and we cannot just move forward. We cannot personally grow. So it's really important for you to decide and to accept. And the second point off this video is, um you were the safe person, the safe person to that person that you picked. What is the safe person? You know, what is the safe place off course? Someplace where we feel just completely okay, completely safe and that we can do anything in the world. And we also have that person. My father was that person for me, okay? And you probably have that person you're expecting and your relay on that person when things go wrong, you just want to go to that safe place or to talk with that safe person and then you will be OK. And then you will be able to be happy. That's one off the thinking mistakes that is connected with happiness. Okay, I will be happy when I will be happy or okay, when? When I speak with my say furs. But what is important hair and what happens to us in our lives is that we we can lost that safe place or safe person. So that's happened to me. When I lost my father, I lost my safe person. I lost my safe place. I lost simply the ground under my feet, and it was really hard for me to move on until I found out. And, um, understood that it's really important to be your own safe person in this step. With this letter, you proved yourself that you don't need anybody else. It's really important to have anybody else, but it's more important to find this trained in yourself important to be your own safe person. What you did right now is that you rode the most important letter in the world and in your life. So you wrote the letter to yourself like you are received that ladder from the person who love you the most from your safe person. As we can say, Can you prove yourself that you can be that safe person to yourself that you can accept yourself and that you can move on in this journey to the happiness and any other journey by accepting all the things that are not so good in life. And we have so many things that are simply not good in life. That's why I said permanent happiness in this course because we're not learning how to just be happy. We're learning how to be happy even if things are not OK in good in our life. Okay? So print that ladder and keep that letter and read it Every time you fill down. I think you're ready for next step. Let's go. 8. STEP 3: welcome to step number three forgiveness. You probably already know how forgiveness is important and also how is hard to forgive to someone. So when we speak about our goal right now about happiness and permanent happiness in positive psychology, happiness and well being is defined as the presence off all positive emotions and also the absence off the negative emotions when we have something to forgive. We all know that the emotion that is present constantly is anger and anger is really harmful. Emotion is really hard to live with anger. So in this step, we're going to learn how to cope with anger and how to forgive in order to achieve happiness in order to move on. So what's happening with that anger and forgiveness? Some of the clients had problem some of the clients that I work in in my coaching and counseling practice. I had a problem with this step and they said, I don't know how to forgive him or hurt, So I basically immediately you what is the problem? And the problem is that word him or her. It's important for us to understand that forgiveness is not something that we are doing for that person that hurt us. It's something that we're doing just for our self. That person doesn't even have to know that you will forgive. Okay, forgiveness is something that you're doing inside. In order to sack you free to believe that anger and to get all that positive emotions that you can just to get rid off the negative emotions that you carry. When we speak about, um, anger or mad, we can be mad on ourselves. We can be mad on somebody else and we can be mad on something on Destiny on Universe or anything matter myself. I did something and I can't forgive myself mad at someone. Someone hurt me. Someone did something. Someone said something that hurt me and something just mad at life. Those negative things happens for no reason, as we think always and we don't know why that happens. And who is there to be blamed. Okay. And that is also what happens to me when when I lost my father, I simply blamed uh, life is not easy to forgive, but it's necessary. One important question that I would like to answer to you before we go to the technique is um is everything forgivable? And my answer will be no. Okay, I know that behind this camera are different people and we all have different stories. And some people simply have some little things Not so tough things to forgive. But some of you have so many hard things to forgive. And when you ask, what are we doing with those things that are not forgivable? We accept them and we stop fighting with them. How can we accept by stop fighting with and against them by not giving them the place in the time in our mind leaving all those things in the past and stay in the present moment? Okay, So I want you to leave those unforgivable things in the past and focus on forgivable things because I'm going to teach you and represent you. One interesting technique for forgiveness and it's designed by ever were thing. Don. He's the green class Ecologist and his model off forgiveness is called reach model. So now let's see how we can forgive using the reach model. The first letter represents recalled recall means Remind yourself off the situation. Remind yourself what was that? That hurt you. What are those feelings that you feel the point off. This is just not to deny, not to deny emotions. It's something that, in psychology is is completely not useful. Okay, pushing emotions under under the carpet or bed. Okay, The point off this is to let yourself to feel and to admit those emotions exist. Let them happen to you. I always say to my clients, every emotion has the purpose. Every emotion is there, like every organ is there in our body, and an organism has the purpose. Okay, Sadness in grief is there and have the purpose is it helps us to, uh, go through that process off grief because it is completely natural to grief ing to be sad when you lost somebody, it's the natural response of the organism. And then we have sadness to helps us to just go through that. So, in this phase, please sit and try to remember and admit. Simply admit all the emotions that you feel next. Empathize. Empathize is the step that will help us to understand that person. Maybe it sounds weird right now. Why should you simply Mm. Want to understand that somebody else who hurt you or to understand yourself. We made mistakes and that's completely OK. So when we made mistake, then we have to forgive. We we we heard somebody and somebody hurt us. But when we made that mistake, that's because we done the best. Maybe the best we could at that moment. Um, in this step, you have to take a look on that person and to think about all the situations and all the circumstances that was there when that person hurt you. Next phase in this process is all touristic gift. We all know what is altering ism. Okay, it's connection the general connection between all of us. It's the natural need to helping with each other and to connect each other. Imagine that you give the gift off forgiveness to that person because it is a gift. Eso Here you have the feeling that you are giving something to that person. And that's how you getting out from the roll off wic them. You're not the victim anymore. You're above that and you are giving the gift to person. Okay, The gift to that purse Next phase. Commitment to forgive isn't Wharton for us to say aloud to include other people in in that process and simply say aloud that we will forgive someone by that. We are confirming that we are ready to forgive. And when somebody else knows that, it's somehow official. As we can say, it's not something that we keep just for us. So it's not anymore so changeable. And that's why is important in this step. To share that with somebody in the final phase is hold on, hold on to the forgiveness. You will probably feel those emotions again. Sometimes when you remember what that person did to you, you will probably just feel a sadness. Feel the anger again. But in this phase, you learn that you made the decision. So be the term in. You made that decision you already forgive and that's it. No coma. Just point, Stay, determine. That was your decision, and you're strong in your decision. You decided you forgive and that's it. So this technique you can use to forgive someone and what is it about how to forgive yourself? You can forgive yourself by one simple believe in one simple sentence and that's I did the best I could. In that moment I did the best. I knew in that moment you made a mistake. But don't stick with that mistake anymore. Because right now, when you're wiser and older, probably. And if you could back to that moment physically with this mind and this thinking style, you would probably do the better the best, the best that you know right now. But from this moment, if you go five years or Theun years forward, you would do different. So we always do the best we could. Okay, that's how you can forgive yourself. And the third problem is when we have to forgive the world, the life, the universe, that destiny, the God, everybody of things differently about what is there outside or above. Okay. When bad things happens to us, then we tend Teoh, um mm. Valued alive as negative and the world as a negative. We see that there is nothing good in there and that we leave in a dangerous world. This is common for people who devil up anxiety disorder and depression. Of course, you can see in when they speak about it that they change the view point off view off life. One little thing that you can do is to give a chance to life. Give a chance to that. Something that you have to forgive. You will find a pdf file also for this where you have to do one little interesting exercise . And basically, Teoh wrote all the cross and constant off the life off the world off this place were relieved all the negative things and all the positive things. So the point is, yes, there are so many negative things, but also there are so many positive things. And if our past is based on mostly negative things, even if your case is like that, that doesn't mean that in present. And if you, in future you will not be able to experience the positive things off life in this world. So right now, don't load all those pdf files, Do the exercises and see you in next step. 9. STEP 4: Welcome to next step awareness. I have one question for you. Where do you leave? Do you live in the past? Do live in present moment or their live somewhere in the future. You will find out when you ask yourself Where are your thoughts? Where are your thoughts? Mostly off the time. Do you think constantly about the past? How do you think about the past? Positive or negative? Do you think about present moment? Or you think about future? Why this is important. Let's remember that were made of three parts cognitive, emotional and physiological or physical. So when our physical part is in the present moment, which is always because our body is always in the present moment and our cognitive part is in past or in the future, our emotional part is confused. It's in the middle, and it's complete this balance that we create so that this balance is what you what we see in the behavioral part an emotional part. Okay, we have to find the balance between those three parts. They all have to be somewhere, and the best is they to be here in the present moment. So in this step, we're going to learn about time, perspective, the term created by feeling Zimbardo Okay, who is also creator Off the positive Psychology K. Martin Seligman and Philip Zimbardo are the two names that are really important in the feel of positive psychology. So I live the research about connection and correlation between life satisfaction and time perspectives. So how time perspectives effect on the life satisfaction, which is, as we said, in the definition of happiness, happiness is defined by Life's of section. So let's see, what are those time perspectives? As I already said, it's the way how we value our life and our self. It's the way we think about our past is the way we think about our future or present moment , and how that Valerie ization effect on present moment on our life in generally results off . My research are similar and basically the same. Like all different research, is that shown that two off the perspectives are the best. Basically, people who are oriented to those two time perspectives are the most happiest people, and those two perspectives are past positive and future oriented. But right now I would like to represent you all those time perspectives, and then it will be able to do your own test and to see where you live in a past, present or future. And what can you do to change that if there's something to change past positive time perspective. Those people are simply oriented to see the past as positive. And those are the people who are constantly saying all good days. So they see their past as just a bunch off good and positive things. Best negative is the opposite, and it's simply that we see our past like something, what is really negative and the believe that is connected here and that is irrational. According Toa Rational Almaty behavior therapy is that my present is determined by my past . So if those negative things happens to me, that's who I am today and it's not changeable. I will always feel this present, hedonistic orientations. So people who are oriented to this present hedonistic are basically those people who are oriented to the pleasure. So they based their happiness in their idea of happiness, to finding the little pleasure constantly. And we already said what I think about that and it's OK, but it will not lead to the long term happiness present, fatalistic orientation, those people who are oriented to at this time perspective, they believe that is everything about destiny, that everything is determined already and that they they're thinking style. They believe system and their behavior is really not important. And it doesn't defined his present moment and his future. And those are people who often say it is what it is. What can I do about it? So this orientation is also harmful and future orientation. Those people are the people who have plans and who understand that they live is defined but what they think and what they do. So those people make plans for future. They live the past in the past. They do little actions right now, but they have long term goals. So now don't know the pdf file and go and do that survey and see what is your time perspective. Are you oriented to the past, present or future? Are you oriented positively or negatively? In pdf file, I will share with you some things that can be helpful for you to simply switch and devil up . You endure orientation to pass positive and future oriented because those two are the best , and all the research has shown that they are connected with happiness and life satisfaction . 10. STEP 5: Welcome to next step gratitude You heard so many times that gratitude is really important for the happiness. And every time you read about happiness, gratitude is something that is the first thing that you should do. So let's talk a little bit about this Red. It'd thing. What does it mean to be grateful, it basically means to be in the present moment and to focus on what is good in your life. It is not always so easy, but our life is made off good and bad things and focusing on the bed things. We simply are not doing anything good to ourself, but focusing on the positive things can really makes us happier. Today is hard for us to be grateful because there is one little thing that it seems to be great today but is not so great. And it's our ability to achieve anything. We want really fast technology. 21st century. Yes, we achieved so many things and we think they're good and they are in some way. But they're old, so harmful and from the psychology corner ability to achieve anything in a second. Um, it's harmful for the gratitude part, because when we can achieve something really fast. Okay, um, we are not able to be grateful for the long time. Okay. We achieved something fast. We rise the dopamine fast, but it also goes fast. And that's what I would like you to learn that skilled to be grateful a little longer. Okay, What's happens today, we can achieve anything. Okay. I want this course. So I have to just click on my most, and I will get this course. I want to buy something. I just go and buy. I want to go somewhere. Okay? To another part. Off this planet, soldiers have to click, buy the ticket and fly. Okay, Those things were not able somewhere in the past, but those people, somewhere in the past, was more grateful and happier. They have. Ah, really simple life. We don't know how to enjoy. All that we are doing is to focusing on what we want. We achieve that very fast. We admire that for a second. Okay, really fast. And then Okay. Now, let's just throw that and let's see, what's another thing that we can achieve? We're trying to level up really, really fast. That's because of the time that we live in, and that's okay. But that doesn't makes us happy. We have to learn just how to stop, how to put an air fourth and how to just, uh, stop in that moment and enjoy. What are we doing today? Okay, that process is made of three things. We want something. There's an idea. Okay, then we're trying to do that. What we are doing, okay, we're trying to achieve something on. And the third part is, when we achieve it, we enjoy because we even started the process. Because off that third part, we are doing everything because we will get that revived. You remember the story about the bombing? But what we are doing when we, uh, get to that third part, we just skip and move so fast, and that's the problem. And I would like to teach you how to really stop that turd part, because at the end of the day, when you started that the process for anything, you started it because off the third part, because you wanted to enjoy at the end. Um, also, there's one fact that is really important, but we we we consider that for granted, We have water, we have the bed and we have the roof over our head. Basic human needs. We take them from contents and we're not satisfied with some. Um, we're not grateful for some a little meaner things because we don't consider those huge and important needs. Okay, um, just take a look. Just think about the people who really don't have that. It's not a cliche. Take a moment and imagine your life that you don't have a roof over Had that your fridge is empty, that you don't have Where to sleep. Would you be unsatisfied with your old car that you both two years ago? And it's now old or your cell phone that is one year old and you think you should buy the new one and you're now on Satisfied? Okay, uh, just try to understand this thing, know, as a critic, but as something that is a fact and that we were just walking around it like it's nothing basic human needs. If you have the basic human needs satisfied, there is there is nothing that can that shouldn't make you so on Cetus fight. Okay. I just wanted to give you the examples. What are those things that you can be grateful for? So I don't know the pdf file. Do the exercise and see you in next step. 11. STEP 6: welcome to step number six. Don't worry, Don't worry is really easy to say, but it's not easy to do. We constantly worry about something when the we worry. We worry when we think about past. We worry when we think about future, and that means when we're not in the present moment, it's OK to think about best help things. Waas. It's OK to think about huge future health. Things will be okay, but when it is too much, then it really can make our lives unhappy. Ah, we can be happy when we worry about something. And Extreme war nous is anxiety. A lot of people today have the problem with anxiety and my clients So I work with the clients were mostly, uh, anxious. So anxiety is nothing, but the fear and fear is the state off mine where faith is not present. When I learned this concept, everything was different. Everything become different from me for me, Okay, in my personal story and when I teach my clients in students this concept, everything really changed about anxiety and about wory nous. So by faith, I don't mean particularly fake in, I mean religious faith. Okay, fate in a destiny fate in universe. Fate in God fade in myself so faith that the world is no so dangerous place and that everything will be Hein Anxiety is such a huge problem, really. But we don't have time here to I don't want to border you with the the complete science behind anxiety. I want to be efficient and I want to share with you some crucial moments from all that science and two simple techniques that I use in my Koji and Coastal in practice practice. And that helped my clients and myself. That simply works. Okay, So the first technique is what if what if is the biggest enemy? And it's something that creates worry, worry if made off. What if so, let's use one example I would like to show you. So what are brain is doing when we are in a warrior when we're anxious is negative predictions. What if something negative happens? Okay, our rain is constantly making the fortune telling and predictions. What if that happens? What if I go outside and car hit me or they'll bite me? Okay, so what can we do here is to reverse the process and simply use the positive and office off the sentence. So what if I go out and find $100? Or what if I win the lottery today? Okay. Why not? Uh, you can write anything that you want. The point off this is that you probably will not affect on the actual outcome and probably need er off that two things will happen. Ok Will not happen. The car will not hit you. The dog did not bite you. You will not find $100. You will not win the lottery. But what is important to understand is that your mind and your body will suffer that day. If you use negative predictions. I say body because anxiety is physiologically harmful is not There is just something that is in our mind. But that's the topic for another course. Okay, here is that tool. Okay, download a pdf file. Everything is explained there, and you will do the exercise. And the next technique is so what When you finish the first sentence. Okay, so if you're not so able and capable to replace positive negative with positive in the first exercise in this step and in this second technique you can do that. You can say that first sentence and then put the coma and then say So what? By putting So what? At the end of the sentence that gives our brain the signal. That's something that is not so crucial and important because we worry so much about some things that I basically not so crucial and not so important. Uh, they don't need to be the things why we feel upset if you don't know how to recognize what is crucial, what is not crucial? What are those things that you should worry about? You can use the birth perspective. That's something that I use when I work. And I used it often because it's really something that makes us on. Helps us to understand, uh, where do we to spend on any energy? Unnecessary birth perspective means that you have to our rise and see the bigger picture. Okay, uh, let's just one example to people. This is the often problem in couples counseling. And, ah, A lot of couples are saying this the same thing to me, and I used these techniques to help them. They say they fight constantly. They, when they want to get divorced when they fight about minor things. And then I say, Okay, let's go to the bird perspective and to the bigger picture. So when you are, rise above the situation and you see the bigger picture, What you can see, you can see that you have the same gold, the bigger goal, which is I want to keep my family together. We want to grow old together. And then when we go back to that many perspective, okay, we see that we are fighting or that were upset about the meaner things we really mean. They're things that are simply not good for our bigger picture and or our bigger goal that we have in life. So it's the same week anxiety. People who have anxiety there worry so much about meaner things that are not logical. They are logical to them. So when you rise up and when you see what is the bigger picture, you will be able to easily say so what? So what if that happens? It's nothing so important. Is nothing so life threatening? So why would I let my mind embody, be disturbed and not letting myself to feel happiness? So download all the pdf files, do the exercises, read everything and see you in next step 12. STEP 7: welcome to step number seven relationship ship. This is the ship that can really take us to the happy place. Researchers show. That relationship that we have with our closes people, family members or France is crucial for happiness. Also, social contact is crucial for happiness. We don't have to say how much signs is beside, but I will tell the one thing I remember those halmos off happiness dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin and and the friends. So oxytocin is basically the hormone they called it love hormone, the social hormone. It increases when we have, uh, contact with the people we care or when we have social contact. It's the bone ding hormone we can say. So it's really important if we want to feel mood. And if we want to feel happy, we have to take care off our relationship with the family members and to ask ourselves, Do I have enough social contact? It's really important and is not such a huge um, science. You already know, and you can already feel that when you spend time with family well, when you spend time with some friends, you're basically simply social that you feel good and you feel great, and that's mostly because off the oxygen. So how can we rise that Oxy thoughts in its simple. We have to have good relationship with family members and to be social. But every relationship is made off. Conflicts is not so easy to build a good relationship constantly. So that's by in this step. We're going to learn why we have so much conflicts and how can we solve the conflicts? Is there any basic formula or one simple thing that we can do any ploy on apply on, Uh, every relationship, no matter if it's that love relationship, found a family relationship or ah, relationship with France. So right now I will teach you want technique on you will download the pdf file, and you will apply this two important things to know about conflicts. To understand them, conflict is usually the product off two different perspectives ans in conflict. During the argue, we are usually saying what we feel and not why we feel so it happens that we flight and we air you about completely different things, and we think that we argue about the one same thing and that's why the conflict is unsolvable for so long time. Okay, I will share with you one typical issue that I face often in my counselling couples coaching practice. Ok, uh, and example will be my partner doesn't respect me or my partner is neglecting me. Usually the wife or the woman is the one who says this. Okay, so we will use this example to explain what I mean. Okay, my partner is neglecting me. So during the argue, the wife will constantly yelling or saying How does she feel? And it sounds similar like this. You are neglecting me. You are leaving me. You're going out constantly. You're going with your friends. You are leaving me here alone. And that's why I'm angry. Okay? I act angry. I show my anger. But I'm not saying what I actually feel because we are not angry because somebody is doing something. We are angry because according toa our believe system, we think that is not appropriate or that bothers us because we think something specific about it. We believe something specific about it. Okay, So behind This is I don't like to be a long I don't like to be alone. I feel lonely. And that's why I yell at you, and that's why I act like I'm angry. Okay, I'm showing anger, but that's not what I basically want to show. Okay, so we have to answer the question Why we are angry, Why we're making this conflict. Do we fight? Because I'm angry because you're going out with friends or we fight because I can't stand loneliness and I can't stand. It's the sentence from the irrational beliefs from rational Amity behavioral therapy, which is created by Albert Ellis. And I'm using this therapy. Okay, The elements off these therapy in my practice and one of the beliefs is I can't stand something. Okay? There is no an illogical reason and proven reason how we can't stand something. So in this case, they were fighting about two different things. Okay, we have to answer on the question why something makes us angry. Why? Something makes us feel like this, or like that. So are we fighting about the same thing that's basically checking our perspective? So do I see this conflict in a right way? Okay, then the second thing that we have to do about conflicts and arguing, we have to check the perspective off the other side off that person that we argue with, so we're not sure, is our perspective correct? And do we see the perspective off other person correctly? And that's how conflicts arise. That's how they're basically created. And because people don't know this base, they continue to fight for a long time, and they're not solving this. This problem. So what's going on? There is some person, indeed something, and then I feel like this. But then I have to find out why I feel like this. When I found out why I feel like this, I have to tell that person the right reason. We have to stop attacking. Okay. Instead, off attacking, we can offer the solution. We can say OK that we would like that person to act differently, but we have to confirm the right reason. That's the crucial thing in this process. We have to understand why that makes us angry, and we have to say to that person to admit to that person, what is that that causes the problems here? So if the basic problem with conflicts is two different perspectives and the perception okay, different or maybe wrong perception off those two perspectives. What can we do to solve this? I prepared one pro cess that have five phases or five questions that you and your partner or your family member anyone who you have ah, conflict with. You'll feel in this pdf file and you will try to solve the conflict with it. So the first phase, or the first question that you will define is problem. So what is the problem? Okay, you both will feel in this separately. That's really important. So sit on one couch or go to one room and send the other side to another room. OK? And feel in this question. So first the problem. What is the problem we were fighting about then? Next question is how I feel about this. Describe How do you feel? Just rough feelings. What if you about this next question is the question. Did you have to ask yourself and sit down a wild and truly and deeply think about it and answer the question Why I feel this? Okay, What is the real reason? Because behind riel reason there is usually some fear. Okay, fear off loneliness, for example, in our example that we had okay. I have the future of flowing this. That's why I think this is the problem. Okay? And not I think this is the problem because you are going out. No, there is. Why? And you have to find Why? Why do you feel like that? Next step is how I see your Why, Okay. How I see your why What do I think? Why are you doing this? What you are doing? What do I think? What you're doing? This that makes me angry. So in this particular example of this couple, the wife thought that he's going out because hey thinks that she's not interested in interesting anymore and that he doesn't love her anymore. So she thought that OK? And he thought that she is constantly yelling and constantly the fighting about that because she is just just like that. Okay, She is just spoiled that waas what he thought she spoiled. And that's why she wants me constantly to be there. Okay, so let's see what actually happened in this case. The final step is to find out what is that truly and honestly, why? What is a fruit now in this step, or in this phase. You have to just be in the same room, OK? And just switch your papers. So in that last question, he will answer What is his riel? Why do you guess? What is that? Why? And you have to answer. What is your real? Why? In order to understand this better, I will tell you how this my example finished. Okay, So it finished that she admits her Why is fear off loneliness? She didn't want to stay alone and house. She was really scared off loneliness. And that's why shows really border when he's going out. And what he wrote there is that he had the fear off time besting. He said that his constant been going out because he think that will make him to be young for a long time. She was so scared off being old, he was so scared off dying. So with this exercise, they shown to each other that they completely so each other's behaviour in the wrong way. And they were fighting about one thing that is completely miserable and basically does not exist. Do see the point. So right now I want you to do this exercise. Okay? Take those papers. Take that person that you have conflict week and just do the exercise separate. Do those 1st 4 questions by your own and that and the end switch the papers. And as for the final question and you will find out, where is the threat, you will be able to just solve that conflict more easily. Next thing that is really important is social contact. We already said that it's something that rises the OxyContin, and it's really important, so being social is crucial for us. It's a human need. Okay, were made for social contact, were not made to be alone. So your task will also be to be social, to get social, not just with family members, but with neighbors, for example. Okay, think a little bit about your neighbors about their lives. You will see they all have problems. You'll feel relief. You will feel bonded, and you will feel like you are not alone. So go outside and talk with three people from your neighborhood. Just sit and talk or just ask them anything about them. Listen focused on their lives and right three things that you heard and learn about your neighbors. That's all you have to do when we speak about relationship and when we speak about social contact is really important. To be social is really important to cope with all problems that we have in a family. And please, if you have serious conflicts with your family members, use that some of the previous techniques used acceptance and use our forgiveness. Try to forgive to your family members. Try good an effort to build batter relationship with the family members with a partner and just go outside and make some social contact. It will really help you to increase the happiness. As I already told all researchers of happiness shows the social contact is crucial for happiness. Now you're ready for the next step. 13. STEP 8: welcome to next step, but life most you remember that were made off physical, cognitive and emotional, which means body, mind and soul or emotions. Okay, so we have to take care off all those three things. And that's what are we going to dio in this stuff we're going to see? What can we do to just boost body, mind and soul, because that will boost our happiness. Body balls. It's simple exercise. You heard this so many time. I will not bother you with this because you already know that. Yes, you have to exercise, but I will explain you from Psychology corner. Why is important for happiness to exercise? You remember the happiness hormones, and you remember that epinephrine epinephrine is a chemical that releases when we have injury or when we have pain. It's there to support us and to help us to stand. And you probably heard about the runner's high expression. Okay, and they describe it like euphoria after big exercise. I feel so good. I feel euphoria. I feel great, and that's because epinephrine is released and that's why you feel great. So by exercising, you are releasing and rising. The epinephrine also as the serotonin and the bomb. So happiness hormones are released When you exercise, you can take any exercise. If you are over the doing that to just keep. And if you never done that, I want you to pick one exercise activity and to try it for 21 day or 30 days. Okay, but 21 day from some psychology research is 21 day is needed to just create the new habit. You can try something simple as York. It doesn't have to be some really tough exercise or just walking outside. Check the lace that I prepared for you and Big one exercise. Okay, second thing, food food is so important. Food is something that we are putting in our body and everything we eat have the impact on How do we feel physiologically and mentally. So in generally food types off food that we should include in our diary in order to be happy, that has to be certain in rich food. Omega three rich food and we should input the food region. Some vitamins and minerals like vitamin B sink, Magnesium Eireann. Okay, those all those vitamins and minerals are shown as very, very important when you speak about depression. Deficiency of this vitamins is connected and related with depressive moot. OK, so now let's see, what is the best food that we can include to our diary to be have been to increase that happiness four months beside food, you should really pay attention on sleep hours at water. So those three things are also very important. Make sure you drink a lot of water and make sure you have good slip because it's really important for lowering the stress in the level of courtiers. Oh, and of course, ability to increase the happiness. Okay, so, uh, the final thing that is also important. And when we speak about soul because we also we already mentioned on the body. We already mentioned the mind and now we have to mention that emotional thing. Okay, Big careful. What content do you let to get into your mind? Everything. What we see and what we watch have the impact on our feelings. So here on specifically, talk about media, social media and television. Okay, So pay attention. Avoid negative content. Avoid disturbing content. Avoid dramatic content. You don't need so many informations in your life try to choose positive content, try pictures and to watch something. What is really inspirational and positive? That can be funny. Clips, funny movies, comedy, movies, romantic moves. So cartoons Okay, cartoons can can really help you. Okay. When I got my kids, okay, I started towards cartoons with them because it was necessary. But I found out how that increases my happiness. Watch positive things, read positive things. Just implement positive content into your day and avoid negative content. And as the final thing, surround yourself with positive people. Let's go to next. 14. STEP 9: Welcome to step number nine. Use power. When I say power, I think about mind power. Our strengths. Clinical. Say college is focused on disease. What is wrong with beep and positive psychology is focused on what strange people have, what we're twos people have, and how can they use them to cope with negative things and to improve their lives. And that's what are we going to do in this step? I prepared for you one survey via Character Strains Survey. The founders off this survey are Martin Seligman, the father of positive psychology and American psychologist, and Neil Mayerson, the clinical psychologist who was also the chair man off this via Character Institute. So they worked together and they create it. This survey, it's based on 24 were Choose that we have, and those 24 were choose are classified in six classes, and those classes are visit them Courage, humanity, justice, temperance and transcendence. So what are you going to do? And what is? Your task is to go to this website, take this test, it's free and find out what are your Mutis you have. And you already know what are your funds? Right? And water the negative, your weaknesses. Okay, The negative sides of your personality. But you'll never pay attention so much of your strains. So here you will identify your strains, and then you will focus on those strains. It's a similar like superheroes. Okay, they have power, so they use power. And we also have that power. We just don't know how to use because we don't know what are. Our were tears. We don't pay attention, and we don't focus on them. So right now, go to that website, do the test and find what are your uterus and then go back here and don't know the pdf file . So I prepared that one pdf file and you have one year plan one year calendar from January to December, and you will feel in that calendar according to your test results. And you will just right and prioritize all those virtues that you have. So, for example, for January, you can, uh, you can write down hope, okay? And you will practice hope for the whole January. Then for February, you can write down a kindness and the all February you will just practice the kindness. So that's the point. off this I want you to identify, to focus into practice your versus in streets. This is really important for happiness because it leads us to personal development to personal grow. Okay. And when we are focused on our positive sides on our strengths and when we are simply doing those positive things in our lives, that is something that increases happiness. 15. STEP 10: welcome to final Step off this journey. Step number 10. Simplify, simplify or be honest or made that decision. Call it whatever you want. But you already know that life is complicated and we made our life complicated. By keeping some things in this step, I want you to get read off all those unnecessary things. In this step, you will make the decision to get rid of things that makes you on happy. I don't think about physical things that is also important to find the peace and peace and happiness are somehow equal. And, yes, you can get rid or physical things. But here we want to get rid off the man for coverage and the things that really makes us on happy. So you already know what makes you unhappy Road that on that paper on the step number one. Okay. And right now, what you have to do is to find out how to get rid of it. How toe cut that from your life. So what we're talking about here is making the decision. We stuck in life problems and in unhappiness because we're not able or brave enough to cut and to make a decision to move on. Let's use an example. Which news, for example? Marriage or jock bed marriage or bad job? Okay. And there is the mistake that the only we want to quit that job. But we're afraid we're not sure. We don't know. How are we gonna do this? We don't know. What are we gonna do after that? But for sure, we know that makes us unhappy. So we're prolonging, and we are choosing not to make the decision right now. And it goes, it goes. And then there you are, two years in that bad job that makes you unhappy. Or bed marriage. Okay, but what's happening there is that you made the decision. That's what is important. By making the decision. Do not make decision. You made the decision to stay in a job. You height. So this is something that is really important for us to understand. We're always making the decision. Even when you're thinking that we're not making the decision, we are making a decision. So that's why it is important for you toe open that paper from the step number one and to get read and to cut all those things. Make a decision to stop with all those things that you wrote when you were answering on the question what this person doesn't like and what makes her or him unhappy. There are so many ways and techniques about making the decision, and the most popular is pros and cons. Okay, you just write the process and comes off some decision that you have to mate, and then you just see what is the better for you. But sometimes when we have to just decide about something that is really tough and maybe really emotional and like marriage, uh, then we don't know what to do. And there is one little sample and really effective technique that I would like to share with you that will help you. You only need one coin. Take the coin and choose the side. Okay. One side is yes, and other side is no. Okay, you conform. The the answers. Just like you want according to what is your problem? Uh, and then you draw that cohen in the air coin will fall down on yes or no, But it doesn't matter. It really doesn't matter. What is the most important here is your feelings while the coin is falling and there is the So while the coin is falling, you will already know you will cheer for one size, that's for sure, even if it's just little cheering. Okay, if it's not so much, you will know what you truly want and what is your choice. So it doesn't matter what side will be when it sold. So no, get the paper from the step number one. Get that coin and stark cuffing from your life, things that makes you unhappy because that's the way to clean the space, to clean the mental garbage and to just simply find your life, because simplicity is equal as happiness. 16. Summary: congratulations on finishing all 10 steps. You are at the end off this journey, and I hope you like it. And I hope it helped you. So right now, I would like to do the summary off all 10 steps and 10 things that are here to help us to achieve the permanent happiness. So if somebody ask you, what is that that you should do to be permanently happy? What you will say what you have to say. So you have to say that first of all, you have to take a step back to stop and to make a Pau's to think about your life, to think about yourself, about your decisions, about everything that happens, that is happening and that you would like to happen. You have to admit yourself all your positive characteristics and all your negative characteristics to say aloud all that you think about yourself all rolled on a paper. Then you have to accept all off that you know that this step and step number tree was the crucial except acceptance. Acceptance is something that I have to do if I want to move on, because when I'm not accepting something, that means that I'm not satisfied with that. I can work on something, What I can't fix, but what I can fix. I just have to accept, because that's the best way. That's the only way I can focus on what I'm satisfied with. When I accept all my personal characteristics and when I accept myself, I will not lose the time for low self worth Onley because I don't know how to deal with the negative aspect off myself and my life. So when I accept that I'm ready to forgive, forgiveness is something that is also crucial and very important. Uh, very hard, but necessary. As we we said when you decide to forgive, that means that you're really brave and that you don't want to keep the anger inside anymore because living with anger is really hard, and then we're not able to completely be free and to be happy. So forgiveness is the crucial thing. We have to sit this side and forgive. Okay, after forgiveness, we have to ask ourselves, Where do I leave in a past, present or future? Where are my thoughts constantly? Do I feel sorry about past? Do I worry too much about future or am I in present moment? Being in the present moment is very important for being happy. So being in the present moment and how can we be in a present moment? We learned that in the next step when we were talking about gratitude. So you can say I have to learn how to be grateful. And how can I be grateful? Think about basic needs. Food, roof over the head and Fritsch Food K freed place to sleep. If I have those things, I have what to be grateful for, even if it sounds Bonnell. But it's like that and then focus on what is here, what is around yourself. We always have bad things and good things. There's always something that we don't have and there's always something what we have. But you are able to choose to focus on what you have and what is what is there and what is good. Okay, next thing I have to stop with that Warri and overthinking overthinking leads to anxiety, to depression, to sadness. Overthinking means I sit and I only think and over think about things Probably probably negative things. Okay, so stop overthinking and we learned to techniques. So what? And what? If so, every time when I think What if something negative happens, I can just switch that and say, What if something positive happens? No matter what will happen at the end, I can choose to pick the positive end off that sentence, and that will help me, my mind and my body not to suffer. In this moment when we feel negative when we feel an experienced negative emotions, they are not just in mind. The fact is, they effect on our physical body and disease. Yes, we can go sick if we feel constantly negative emotions. Any food constantly are in a war. Okay, next step Waas relationship sheep. One of the crucial things all research in psychology shown that social contact in relationship with family members is very important if we want to be happy. So if somebody ask you, what is that thing Number seven that you have to do to be happy? You can say I have to fix relationships with my family members. I have to solve the conflicts. I learned that conflicts and argue with anybody and specifically with family members, is the problem with perspective how I see something and how my partner or my mom that anyone who I argue with, how they see this problem, do we see the problem in the same way that we see completely differently this problem and what is behind my emotions? What is behind this problem? Why we exactly have this argue because of what? So it's basically being completely honest and not just air you and yell but sit and think and find the real reasons off the problem because that's the way we can solve the problem in the issue. And there is effect when we are with the family. So no matter who is there in my case, I lost my family members. But I also have other family members who is there is there and we have to focus. We have to build those better relationship because that's something that will makes us to feel really, really happy from psychology Corner. Why we feel happiness when we are with family members and when we build a good relationship is because that's when the oxytocin is rising. One of the happiness hormones oxytocin is activated when we have the social contact and when we spend the time with family Is the trust hormone Okay? Love court. Next thing was like most so you should say I have to sleep well. I have to eat good food and I have to exercise to move. And I have to drink enough water. Those are four things that are crucial. Every time. When I started counselling with somebody who suffer from anxiety or stress or depression, I ask about lifestyle because that's where well, where whole it starts. We can do all this mentally things that we learned in this course. But if we don't think about fundamentals off well being, we cannot move on. So I have to drink enough water. I have to drink food to drink, to eat food That is good for my body. That is healthy. And that we talked here about that specific food for happiness Hormones. I have to drink enough water and I have to sleep well. Okay. And to move, move body. We are created for move and not for sitting. So our body has to move When we exercise. When we move, that's when end the friends painkillers, natural painkillers are rising. Okay, then I have to use power. There are negative characteristics. There are positive characteristics. I have farms and I have virtues. So I want to accept phones which we did in the step number two. And now I'm ready to just improve my were twos to work on them and to focus on what is good . What can I do? And I have to practice that every day and finally the last thing Waas, simplify and don't why you can't lie yourself. Subconsciously, we already know what is that that truly makes us unhappy. And we have to simplify our life as much as we can. Because simplicity is important for happiness. When life is complicated enough, when we have so much things in physical environment and when we keep that mental garbage in our head, it's hard for us to be happy. So the last thing was to simply fine to make the decision and to cocked things that makes you unhappy from your life. So this was the summary off the 10 key and crucial steps and things that we have to implement in our personal belief system and in our every day life. If we want to be happy, I hope you like this? I hope this helped you ask me anything you want. Contact me if you have any questions and see you in next course.