Thinking about lake michigan

How it looks like an ocean against a ferris wheel

How we drive alongside it

just to go

home

Thinking about home

How it is where my heart is

And my heart is immovable from its display case

And how my only proof of life

is from its

echo

Thinking about your clawfoot tub

And about the window above it

And how the problem

is that I am

forgetting

Thinking about the long way home

Not knowing north from south

not needing to

And the lights were polka dot blurs

And I thought about my new dress

and I thought about

leaving

Thinking about your round belly

And your hands

And how you needed me to survive

To take gum out of your sleeping mouth

Because I needed you to

survive

Thinking about the southbound train

And how it would end

And how the leaving

would also

end

Thinking about repenting

About how I should have loved you sooner

So to not have to convince you now

That you are

good

Through photographs and these words

To slip one under the universe

To promise to them all

That I will be

good

 

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this is a poem about my home of Chicago, I wish I were grateful for it sooner, and the woes of being young and always wanting more.