My project ( essay on a past embarrassing experience )

The fear of the fear

The teacher opened a piece of parchment and said my name: Krishna Shivani. I was seated in the front seat and stood up immediately and went to the stage. I was shivering from head to toe, I was breathing so fast that I felt I wasn't breathing. The guy who sat beside me was no brave prince, he was too shivering and was, again and again, asking me questions. I did not reply to him as I was too busy thinking about my own presentation.

The school guy ( or whatever you call him ) adjusted the mic to my height because I was small compared to the other participants, not just in height but in self-confidence and social skills too.

I was too anxious that I did not even say good morning even though I had practiced it several times. I managed to say 'my name is Krishna Shivani and my house name Is Jal' and that's how I started the stage presentation. All eyes were fixated on me, they were looking at me with high expectations, they were expecting me to win the house cup but I was barely able to manage to say anything. I cannot remember what I had said because first of all, I was too terrified and secondly it was a long time, not very long though. Two years or three.

If I would to describe my auditorium it would be this: there were large curtains hanging on the left side of it where stood our house - Jal. In school, we had 4 houses - Jal, Agni, Vayu, and Prithvi which translate to water, fire, wind, and earth in English. Our group, Jal was seated just at the edge of the auditorium. There was a mic on the right side where generally the school principal gave her speeches or in some cases even students. I was the third-tier, I like to call myself by that name because I wanted to participate in a quiz competition initially but wasn't lucky, and then I wanted to participate in the drama competition but again wasn't lucky. Eventually, I fell into the extempore competition. I hate extempore and the reason is quite simple because you don't know the topic so what would you prepare?

If you ask me, Why would I participate in such competitions even when I had very low self-confidence and belief then it was because I had participated in drama. Yeah, in drama just to give it a try? Fortunately, I had only one line, yeah only one which I had learned by heart at least a hundred times. It went pretty well and that is how I gained a little confidence and that is how I ended up in extempore competition.

The thing with me is that I don't like to leave my comfy blanket. I don't like leaving my comfort zone, I want things to just be how they are. No worries. But this time it was different, I cannot step back as I had already been selected. The teacher would kill the hell out of me if I weren't present. Not joking. She had done this to one student which I would never forget. People would say, it is the fear that prevents us to speak publicly but at many times it is also because we don't want to feel that feeling of the heart racing, nausea, and the fast breathe but trust me guys it is only through this you can build confidence. It does not matter how many motivational quotes you read or how many motivational videos you watch, you always have to go through the 'uncomfortable' face before getting success. People fear, fear sometimes more than fear itself.

I don't care how it went, at least it was over...

( I wrote this some time ago and at that time my writing was very crappy, very crappy but now I have improved because of practice. I see massive improvements in such a small time, thank you for this class!)