Transcripts
1. Introduction: Hi, I'm Agnes De Bezenac. [MUSIC] An artist, author
and teacher from France. Recently, I've learned about the importance
of checking in about my self-care goals and the ways that I want to
do better in that area, so that I'm certain
and confident that I'm doing my part
to do my very best. Whether it'd be in
building new habits with my exercise routines or eating healthy foods to
maybe letting go of some stress and overwhelm
or negative thoughts. Spending more time
alone in nature or treating myself to something
special once in awhile. To include aspects of self-care that help give
me an emotional boost. Noticing what are
those things that I love and that light me up. There are loads of self-care habits that
can help improve my well-being so that I can be more loving and gentle of
myself and in the end, more loving and of better
service to others. It's a win-win situation. It's also learning to be
more accepting of myself, accepting where I'm
at and not feeling that taking the self-care
time is selfish or indulgent. Thus, I get to practice
loads of compassion. I've been passionate to create
visual aids that help keep me motivated and inspired
in my self-care practices, which not only work as positive
suggestions and boosters, but also as a way to mix in my love for art and creativity. What a powerful tool
this becomes when creatives let themselves be
guided and inspired by art, beautiful pictures,
painting or sculptures, music or writing in a way
that feels really them. Plus as a way to challenge
themselves to greater growths. Because most of us are
probably perfectionists, treating ourselves to a
regular dose of self-care, I believe is a must. Here's a creative
project that I've named solid rock reminders. Yes, they're made
from rocks and they serve as loving,
gentle reminders. I'm a visual learner, tactile, creative and artsy. I love doing these activities
that help paint a picture, of sometimes vague
ideas or lessons, and they help keep
me moving forward. I also get to live with meaningful treasures
around my home that I've DIY myself and can even
enjoy as pieces of decor. They tell a story, a story of me, and they are reminder and proof that I'm taking
care of myself. The great thing about
the self-care project is that you get to
personalize it for you in a way that is most fitting
to your situation and individual needs and then making progress at
your very own pace. The solid rock
reminders will help you get clear on those
self-care practices or rituals you want to focus on and prioritize and figure out ways to use them in
your everyday life. I hope you're able to
carve out this little time for you today as you
enjoy this course. See you in class. [MUSIC]
2. Materials Needed: [MUSIC] Welcome to the first-class in solid rock reminders course. For this one, we're
going to be looking at some of the materials
that we will need. Some rocks; some that have a smooth surface or
flat surface is best. Some white paint. You will also need
different colors of paint. I'm going to choose some greens, a pencil and eraser, and a black marker or pen. That's it. We're ready to start.
3. Painting: To get started
with this project, I'm just going to place my rocks on an old sheet of paper, or if you have a magazine paper just to keep my table clean. Then I'm going to get my little paint tray and I'm going to add some
of the white paint. We're going to
create for ourselves some little self-care rocks, I call them solid
rock reminders. Here we are just
getting started by painting our rocks
with some white paint. I feel that a big part of compassion is learning
about self-care, taking care of ourselves, realizing that we're important, that we're valued, and we can take the
time for ourselves. This is a light
primer to start with, since my rocks are quite dark, I'm just going to go ahead
and do one coat for now, and then let them dry. If you don't want your
hands all full of paint, you can just wear some gloves. You can use acrylic paint, you can even use wall
paint if that's what you have, or gouache paint. As you paint, you can think about the different
aspects of self-care. I love these little projects, these little creative activities because they really
help me to get mindful, to help me to stop and
reflect on things. As we're working towards
compassion today, you can even think about and reflect what is
compassion to you? How do you feel compassion? What does it look like? If you don't know,
you can ask others. What is compassion
look like to them? How can you give yourself
the most loving compassion? You have the time,
you have the peace, and you have the quiet. Right now, as you're just mindfully going along
your painting project, doesn't take too much
effort or too much thought. I find it to be really relaxing and soothing
for my mental health. You can do as many
rocks as you want. I'm just showing you with
a few here for time sake, but in my little keepsake, I probably have
10-12 little rocks, and I add to them as I want, as I think of new things
for my self-care. The reason I think that
self-care is a big part of compassion is because it's learning to think
about ourselves, question ourselves, to give ourselves more care
and more love, and that's what
compassion comes down to. Not judging ourselves, just accepting ourselves as we are, as imperfect as we are, and realizing that we're enough, we're changing, we're growing, and that's all part of life. That's all okay except
where we are at. Now, that we're done painting, I'm going to put them aside
and just let them dry. [MUSIC]
4. Improve in your self care: On it's drawing,
[MUSIC] you can go ahead and just write down a few things that you think of that you would like
to include on your rock. I'm just going to jot
down a few ideas, things that I would like to
do better in my self-care. Thus, practicing
compassion for myself. I'm going to include
walk in nature, that to me that so soothing, that's so relaxing, something that I
want to do more of. Healthy foods. I want to pay attention
to those foods that make me feel really good
and full of energy. Reading, this is something I
rarely take the time to do, but I find it's so relaxing, so comforting, and uplifting, when I do take the time. Sunlight, I want to go
out in the sunlight, experience that positivity, that warmth, even though we're towards the
beginning of winter. I know it's something that
I really miss out on, but I want to take advantage
of each sunny day, go out for a little bit. Meditation, reflection. I find more and more
how important that is for my mental well-being. Listen to music. I think everyone enjoys that, but often I feel it's spoiled to put some music on for myself. But I am realizing
that even those little moments of cooking or
folding the laundry, it's a great time to listen
to music, uplifts my spirit. One of my very favorites
is journaling, expressing myself, my emotions, my feelings, reflecting
on them, observing them. I'm going to add time alone
in whatever it may be. Rest, I feel that's a luxury. I don't often take
the time to rest but sometimes it's just the thing that I need to make
me feel better, make me feel a
little less hard and judgmental of myself
and critical of myself. Some things I love
to do is decorate, even if I go round, switch a few plants
around or put some fresh flowers on the table, it's so inviting and makes me feel so good
in my surroundings, thus, in my spirit
and well-being. I can't forget,
create something, whether it's drawing, coloring, painting, something creative. I want to add a play date. Play date is a time
that I take once a week for myself to just do
something that I enjoy, something different,
maybe something out, maybe go to a shop I've
always been wanting to go to or to the library
or maybe take a bath. I call that my play date because maybe there's
no need for it, but it's just that enjoyment and that pleasure that gives me an extra special boost of positivity and
compassion for myself. [MUSIC]
5. Growing in Compassion: [MUSIC] Now I'm going to
try out my paints and see if they've dried enough. I'm going to give
them a second coat. We'll go ahead and
do both sides. Once your first side is dry, you can do the next side or you can do the next coat,
that's up to you. Just realizing that
we'll probably have to do this four times, two on each side. It does take some
patience, some waiting. While you're waiting,
you can keep reflecting on those
solid rock reminders that you want to build for yourself in practicing
compassion. One of the key things for me
in growing in compassion was just journaling about what
compassion means to me? Take some time to do that, maybe, while the
rocks are drying. One question would be, what does compassion
look like to me? Another one could be, how do I feel I could do better in cultivating
compassion for myself? What areas of
compassion do I want to strive for or work on? Now my hands are a little
bit dirty, that's okay. It's water-based so it
can wash off easily. You might have to pause
the video once in awhile to let these dry, and then you can turn it
on again when you need to. I'm going to just let
them dry one more time. [MUSIC]
6. Benefits of the Project: [MUSIC] Now my rocks are
ready to turn over and paint on the other side. You might be able to find
rocks that are already white, which will save you some time. But if not, this is
really relaxing. Doing these creative projects is such a wonderful
thing that you're doing, and you'll thank yourself
later for this time. Just see it as a privilege. See it as a way that it
won't only benefit you, but it will benefit everybody that you come in contact with. You're taking time for yourself. Thus, you'll be a
better version of yourself to be able
to help others. That's what really helps me
when I think of these times. I'm doing others a favor by
taking this time for myself. It's not selfish. It will benefit them. It'll benefit your family, your loved one, your friends. Even those that you
come in contact with in your work or online with
the work that you do. Once you're done with the
white or the light color, you can use any color. I just went ahead and did
white because I like them, just the peaceful
pureness of the white. But you can, if that
sparks your fancy, then pick different colors. Maybe each thing brings
a color to mind, so go ahead and do that. With the little list that
we created for ourselves, basically what we're
going to do is write each one of these on
one of the rocks. That will become
our little reminder of some of the
self-care routines. Self-care projects
that we can do for ourselves to continue to
cultivate self-compassion.
7. Leaves Designs: [MUSIC] Now that our rocks
are all nice and dry, we're ready to decorate them. I'm going to take some paint. I'm starting with
the green paint and I added a little bit
to my tablet here, my paint tablet and
I'm just painting some leaves on one side. I loved the organic, natural look so I
decided to just paint all different shapes and sizes of different
types of leaves. I don't think these
are any specific leaf. It doesn't matter,
you don't have to make it all perfect. Well, so if you
don't have paint, you can feel free to
just use a marker. I find that that works too. I like to include
different colors in my tablet, in my palette. Some leaves can be a little
darker, a little lighter, some can be a little bigger so don't worry about
getting this perfect. [MUSIC] Just go with what is right for you [MUSIC]. I might make some
different sort of leaves for a variety, [MUSIC] [NOISE] I'm going to add a little white for a
different shade of green. What I love about this activity is that there's
also so much time for reflection and mindfulness. Since we're on the topic of
compassion and self-care, that's what I'm thinking about. I'm paying attention
to my feelings, to my thoughts on the topic. One thing is that
I find that when I'm more compassionate
with myself, then I have more
compassion with others. That's what we all want. I feel that compassion is
at the heart of self-care. So in this activity, we're focusing on some of
the ways that we can grow in some physical
aspects of self-care, maybe some habits and routines. But I feel that there's also the emotional and mental
aspect of self care and compassion and that I
also want to improve in or at least learn to notice
and be more mindful of. Such as choosing
kindness over judging myself for mistakes or failures and positive affirmations to myself instead of
critical words. Acknowledging the negatives and realizing that they
are a part of life. We all have them. It's
part of the journey. But then asking myself, how can I get to the other
side and still move forward? I feel that making room for self-compassion by even
treating myself to these little quiet moments here of solo projects
that bite me up, that make me happy, or that help me express
some feelings and emotions. Sometimes even anxiety
or worries or overwhelm. But it helps me make
my way and find my way to more peace and more calm. I tell myself that I'm going to take some vitamin C today. C meaning for compassion as
a fun reminder to myself. Whether it be one of the
things I wrote on my list or something else that comes
to mind at the moment. Being really attuned to
my needs at the moment is fundamental I feel for practicing and
cultivating more compassion. [MUSIC]
8. A Touch of Decor: [MUSIC] I brought a few
little green markers. What's fun is to add some little dots or little
decorations around. I find that sometimes markers is easier for those
tiny little details. I'm just having fun here not really have anything
pre-planned. I'm following the style that I started with
my other rocks. I'm only doing four
here but you probably have more that you're doing. Go ahead and take the
time that you need. Draw something like that. Again, we can wait a little
bit until they're all dry. These now are all dry
so you can turn them around and we're going
to write down something, a little reminder, a little
ritual for our self-care. [MUSIC]
9. Self care Reminders: Now, we're ready to pay little more attention to
our self-care reminders. Here's where we're
going to refer back to our list and write
them on our rocks. On this one, maybe a bath. That is a real treat for me and not something
that I do very often so it might be something
that I do extra special, really when I'm feeling
indulgent in my self-care. Again, it's part compassion. Here, I will take a
little coffee break. Most of the time, I don't feel
I have the time to spare, but I'm learning to
be okay with that. To realize that I need
that time just to reflect and to stop and pause in
the middle of the day. Here I might add a foot massage. I have a little electric
massage machine and that's something that I could
do that would be a wonderful self-care to myself. But again, something I
don't make the time for. This is not so
much a to-do list, but it's more like
a would-like list. A little wish for my self-care
rituals and routine. Another one is shopping
for some needs. If you're mom, you can relate to not making the
time for yourself. I make time to shop for my kids, but I rarely take the time
to shop for my own needs. Maybe I need a new face cream, a new pair of socks, little things like that, or maybe even a new outfit that would be nice
to treat myself to.
10. How to use and store: [MUSIC] Now that we
have them all finished, you can go ahead and keep them in a little basket like this, which is what I've done
with all my other ones. [MUSIC] Or I also have them
in a little cloth bag. It's really up to you, what you have, what's
most convenient for you, if you want something closed, or if it's more practical
to have something open. You choose, you decide. Anyway, I will show you my whole little
collection of self-care, rituals, or routines,
or little habits. [MUSIC] The next time that you feel you
need some compassion, you take a little break, you go to your
compassion, keep safe, and you can look at your
collection of rocks and maybe choose one that you
feel you could really benefit from at the moment. [MUSIC] Or one that your
heart needs or is asking for. These are all my
little leaf patterns. As you can see, they all
blend in nicely together yet all different and
unique and fun. Even though most
of the time feel I don't have the time
for this self-care, I know that I'm so blessed and I gain so much benefit
from taking the time. On the other side, I have
nature walk, a play date, which is where I just play and have fun with something
that I enjoy doing. Maybe a favorite
hobby or past-time. I read, something fun. Journal, I write my journal
and listen to music. I go out for a few
minutes of sunlight. I eat something
healthy, time alone. Get bath, I have a
coffee break, decorate. [MUSIC] I don't know who else is into decorating, but me just a little time
of decorate really lifts up my mood and my space
and my surrounding. Decorate something,
have a foot massage, take a rest, a nap, meditation, or reflection time. Create something. I love that, maybe a DIY, maybe a piece of art, and shop for some needs. These are some of them,
I'm sure you can think of many more to personalize it for yourself and to keep into your little
compassion, keep safe. I'm going to put them all here. The next time I need
little pick me up, I will pick one of those. You can either choose one or sometimes I like
to be surprised. I'll pick one totally randomly I might turn them around or if
they're in my little bag, I close my eyes and I pick one, and I'll go and do it and treat myself to one of these
little self-care needs, something that my heart
needs and is longing for, even when I feel I
don't have the time, because I think that's
when I need it the most when I think I don't
have the time for it. I do that thing for
myself and I practice kindness and thus helping
me to shift my thoughts, my feelings, and my actions
into more compassion. [MUSIC]
11. A Guided Reflection: Now that you've
finished this course, maybe you've become
a little more tuned to when you have a difficult
time accepting who you are, or what you are because of all the many voices out there reminding you that
you're not enough, or not doing enough, with all the judgment, and doubting, and criticism, feeling like you're
not worthy of love, or you might feel
guilty for being selfish and giving yourself
his time and attention. Now that you have
taken the time, check in with how it feels. How did it feel
making this time for you for self-care
and compassion? Do you still feel that it's
all so overwhelming or impossible and like you
just don't have the time? Or do you now feel that maybe
five-minutes can do you good and help uplift your spirit and give you a
new perspective on your day? Even just a few minutes. Five minutes is all you
need to get started. Close your eyes and
pick out a rock. Now, look at it and imagine
yourself doing it right now. Can you put on your shoes to go outside for a few
breaths of fresh air? Can you go to your
mirror and tell yourself one loving
and kind word? What about picking up
some weights or cans from the kitchen and do
ten arm dances. A little bit can be a lot in the overall
scheme of things. Start real small. Be patient, be gentle
with yourself, and you'll see that in the end, even a month from now, or maybe a year from now, you'll have set yourself
up for new habits, and even new opportunities
and adventures of growth. By the way, you'll be surprised to see
that you're probably already doing some of these self-care
practices for yourself. Make a list of what
it is that you are doing to help
encourage yourself. Yes, that's big, that's huge, which means you can continue to move
forward in this direction. Take a minute now
to scatter some of your rock reminders
all over the house; on your bedside table,
by your toothbrush, under your pillow, your lamp, or a stack of books, anywhere that you
feel glad to do so, then let yourself be surprised when you find
them throughout the day. Ask yourself at the
time if you can take even just two
minutes to do that thing. If not, try to incorporate it into your other
daily routines. For example, if you're
doing food shopping, let yourself be
enticed to picking out new perfume or a face cream. If you're taking a shower, take an extra minute
to massage your scalp, or put on some conditioner. If you're in the middle of work, take a two-minute break to
close your eyes and think about one of your dreams or
wishes and write it down. Now, I'm going to leave you here so that you can get going onto your own alone rendezvous
time for self-care. I'll leave you with
one last message. Remember to celebrate
your little wins. Even if five minutes is
all you have in the day, be happy and cheer
yourself for that time. [MUSIC]
Agnes De Bezenac, Designer of Tools for Wellbeing
