Transcripts
1. If Someone Would Have Told Me This ...: This is a little bit
of a different topic than what you might
be used to finding. It is universal among
creative people. And it rarely receives the comprehensive attention
that it deserves. Transforming our most
formidable challenges, rejection and criticism, and turning those into potent catalysts for a creative evolution.
That's a mouthful. But this process involves
shaping our stories, because too often rejection and criticism are
perceived as final. They're perceived as
negative verdicts. And it suggests that our
work or efforts fall short, or that somehow we're
lacking as creators. However, what if we
reinterpret those moments? Imagine viewing them
as essential feedback, as opportunities
for self growth. This is the
transformative voyage that we are setting
out on together. My name is Peggy Dean, and I am fortunate to say
that I am a successful artist and a bestselling author
and award winning educator. And it didn't come without a little bit of
rejection along the way. I've got some tools
for you that are going to get you set up for success. If somebody had told me in
the beginning of my journey how much mindset played a crucial role and
I had those tools, I wouldn't have felt so alone in this class is for
anybody with passion who wants to do something and
maybe feels restricted, maybe feels like they're
not good enough. Because I promise that you are. And there's a little
secret I have to sheriff in this
class that I think is going to maybe give
you a little bit of a light bulb re seven,
So let's jump in.
2. My Personal Experience with Rejection: I'm so glad that you are here. We're going to tackle
something that every creative
person encounters, but it's seldom
discussed in depth. This is turning our greatest setback rejection and criticism. We're going to turn these into powerful tools for
our artistic growth. This is about changing
the narrative. Often we view rejection and criticism as
negative end points. These are assumed signals that our work is not
good enough or that somehow we're failing
as creatives. But what if we reframe
these experiences? What if we see them as
invaluable feedback, as catalysts for introspection
and improvement, as necessary steps on
a path to our success. That is, what this journey
that we are about to embark on together is all about. Let me start by sharing a
little bit of my journey. I want to share a snippet
of a personal story. I remember when I was
working at a hair salon, that was a little bit boogie. I say that with love.
I loved working there. I admired the people
that worked there. I wished to be like
them, if you will. However, I can't not be Peggy. Peggy is loud, Peggy. I won't talk about myself
in the third person, but I do have a little bit
of an extroverted bluntness. To me, I'm a little hyper, but it worked out well, had a lot of connections
with clients because I was a little more down to Earth, a little more relatable. But overall, I still can't
help but feel, you know, especially when
you're surrounded by a space where you just
feel a little bit like a degree of
separation out of place. Right. I couldn't help
but feel how I felt. And I was fired by them after working there for a little over
a year, I think. Maybe a year and a
half, I don't remember. But I do know that
when that happened, that triggered that
rejection triggered me. And without realizing it, I took that rejection
and I started demolishing everything in
my personal life as well. Because if I did that, it didn't have control over me. It couldn't hurt me because
I was the one in control. And I realized that that is an absolutely terrible
coping mechanism. But at the time, I didn't have the tools to reframe
my mindset around it. So luckily, I had
someone who loved me, who called me out and I was able to reframe.
It was a challenge. It was the biggest
challenge I ever faced. It was a pivotal moment
for me because the next time something happened
where I faced rejection, while it felt like a direct
hit to my confidence, it was a pivotal moment for me because it
was one that could either discourage me or it
could propel me forward. That experience, while
very challenging, it became a crucial
turning point in how I approached life. My creativity and my attitude, my overall attitude
toward rejection. And I sat on this idea
for a class for a while, but I'm so glad to be bringing
it because we're going to explore several key areas that I think are the
main culprits here. Which is understanding the
emotional spectrum and owning. That we're going to delve
into various emotions that we encounter alongside that are parallel with rejection
and criticism, and how to acknowledge
and manage them. It's so helpful then the psychology of
rejection and criticism, which digs a little deeper
than we might realize. We'll look at why those
experiences can be so impactful, especially on
psychological theories and historical examples. Don't worry, we won't go
into it for too long. But helpful. We're
also going to look at strategies for constructive
engagement with rejection. I'm going to share
some practical ways to transform rejection and criticism into opportunities
for growth and resilience. By the end of our time together, my goal for you is
to feel empowered to face rejection with
a new perspective. And seeing these moments
not as barriers, but as stepping stones to
your success as an artist. And I will be the first to
tell you that I have had a tumultuous relationship
with rejection. So you are not
alone. We're going to embark on this
journey together.
3. The Emotional Spectrum of Rejection: There is a crucial
point in understanding the emotional spectrum that accompanies rejection
and criticism. As creative people,
our work is often a very deep expression
of our inner selfs. So it makes any form of criticism feel
intensely personal. Not to mention it's also
deeply personal knowing that it was our very
hands, often times, that went into a
creative process and it took mental
and emotional energy. So the first question I want to call out is disappointment. It's a very natural
reaction when our efforts don't
meet the recognition, if you will, that we hoped for. And it's more than just
feeling sad about an outcome. It's a very complex
mix of emotions that often involves questioning
our decisions and our path. For instance, maybe there's a piece that you felt
deeply connected with. It doesn't resonate
with other people. It's not just about that
specific rejection. It ends up digging a lot
deeper and it makes us wonder about our understanding
of the craft that we do, or the audience or
the market, you know. And it's vital to recognize
that disappointment, It's not a verdict
on your talent, but rather a very natural
part of the artistic cycles. I think a signal to just reassess and
potentially realign, not the reason to give up and it's okay to
be disappointed. And then there's self doubt, which can be both a tormentor
but also a teacher. It's a voice that
questions our capabilities and can lead to significant
creative blocks. But here's a different
perspective. Self doubt is also a sign
of our desire to improve. It arises from a place
of wanting to be better. The trick is to balance the
self critique and use it as fuel to drive learning and
growth, not as a barrier. It's like that Ira
Glass quote about the gap where you have
really good taste. But when you're a beginner you don't have the skills
to meet that taste. Not to say that we're all in
this situation as beginners, but it's a good example of, of course, self doubt is
going to create that gap, but it's all a part
of the journey. I'm going to mesh
frustration and anger together because these
emotions can also surface, especially when we feel
misunderstood or unfairly judged. These are firestarters. Frustration and anger
can erupt when we are feeling our artistic vision is being challenged
or belittled. My wife just shared a video
with me of Michelle Phillips of The Mamas and the Papas on Ed Sullivan Show in the '60s. And they weren't allowed to sing live during their performance. And so they had to lip sync, So she decided to eat a
banana during the lip sync. I call that a fire starter. I call that a good protest. That was a direct hit
on their creativity. These emotions can be
incredibly energizing and they can push us to defend
our mission in that way. They can also lead to a
renewed sense of purpose. How can you frame it to
where it's what you need? Use the emotions as a
catalyst to re, evaluate. Maybe that's your
work, maybe it's new ways to communicate your
vision more effectively. Or to stand firm in
your artistic identity. And let's not overlook hurt because this can
be a profound teacher. It feels like personal
attacks, It does. It makes us question
not just our work, but our very essence as artists. Yet within this emotion lies
a deep well of insight. It forces us to confront
our vulnerabilities, which is where true
artistic strength lies. Anyway, right when we
embrace vulnerability, it allows us to create
more authentically and connect more deeply
when you feel hurt. Let it be a moment to reflect on your emotional investment in your art and the
power that it has to move and affect both
you and your audience. Each of these emotions
is a natural response. They are not just feelings. They are indicators
of a deep passion, an investment that
we have in our art. So when we're faced with
these very real feelings, ask yourself, is this
thought helping me grow? Or is it holding me back, transform it into a constructive
dialogue with yourself? Now I want to pause
for a moment. I want you to think back to a recent instance that you
faced, rejection or criticism. It could be a gallery rejection, maybe a critical comment
on social media, maybe even a well meaning. However, a little stingy critique from a friend
or a family member. Write down briefly what
happened and more importantly, the emotions that you felt don't want you to
judge or analyze them. There's no analyzing
the emotion. Just recognize them.
Thank you for doing that. And if you couldn't
find something right off the top of your head,
I totally understand. I'm a little bit
of the same way. It's hard for me to pinpoint
unless I'm triggered yet again and then I
remember it very vividly. But I do think that
when we can pause, especially in the moment when
we recognize the emotion, it's the first step
to transforming them. And by acknowledging
our feelings, we're not giving
them power over us. Instead, we're understanding
their roots and we're understanding how to
address them constructively. Recognizing our emotions is the first step to
transforming them. By acknowledging our feelings, we're not giving
them power over us. Instead, we have the opportunity to understand their roots, learning to address
them constructively. Before we move on, I want to reiterate your
feelings are valid. The hurt, the doubt,
the frustration. They don't define your
talent or your future. They're part of your
journey as a creative. They will be because they're a part of that commitment
to your craft, to your passion, to the thing
that you love the most. So all of it is valid. We're about to move into one of my favorite parts. So
I'll see you in a moment.
4. Psychology (& Mind Tricks) Behind Rejection & Criticism: Let's explore why rejection and criticism can be so painful. Particularly for us
as creative people. This is not just about
our personal sensitivity. There are deeply rooted
psychological factors at play. Because psychologically,
rejection triggers the exact same pathways in
our brain as physical pain. That is not a metaphor, it is a literal
neurological response. Studies have shown
that the feeling of rejection activates
the same areas in our brain that are involved
in physical pain sensations. And that's why a harsh
critique can literally hurt. Have you heard of like,
oh, that was a gut punch. Like our response
to rejection is deeply rooted in our
evolutionary past. Because as social
beings, our ancestors, their survival depended heavily
on being part of a group. So isolation and ostracism, those things weren't
just painful, they were actually dangerous. This is an evolutionary backdrop and it makes our brains
highly sensitive to rejection because it's an actual survival mechanism
that signals us to correct our behavior to stay within the
safety of the group. Hmm, That was a fact
when I heard it that I was just
like, ah, you know, it was so helpful
to think of it in that way because as someone who's majorly triggered
by rejection, I find it to be a
fascinating fact to revisit because it really does serve as a
reminder that I'm not actually being attacked and
that I am in fact worthy. And then let's look at some of the greatest artists
throughout history. Some of the most
renowned artists faced rejection and criticism. For example, Monet now celebrated as a master
of impressionism, was ridiculed for his then
very radical painting style. And then there's Van Gogh, whose works are now
actually priceless, but only sold a few paintings in his whole lifetime and faced criticism for having
also a unique approach. Think about what
might be unique. Now, you know, like
in contemporary times we have more opportunity, but we still see
similar stories because creative space rejection
from partnerships, galleries, lack of
sales in general. Yet they continue to create and evolve and eventually
find their space, Find their audience rejection, while very challenging, is just a common part
of this journey. No matter what. I have another reflective
exercise for us. I want you to think
about the times that you faced
rejection and look at identifying patterns
and how you respond. Do you tend to internalize criticism? Do you brush it off? Do you use it as
fuel to improve? Maybe it's a mix of responses. I'm going to give you
a minute to reflect on the experience that you
previously wrote down. Thinking about the times
that you've faced rejection. Understanding your
personal pattern is a key to transforming how you handle
criticism in the future. Because when we recognize
these patterns, we can start to
change our narrative. It's about that pause
and giving ourselves the space to feel it
and then returning to it with what's actually
happening here. Instead of viewing rejection
as personal failure, we can see it as
an inevitable part of the artistic process. It's a step toward growth. And that does start
with simple awareness. Now, the next video is a
crucial part of this session. So I'll see you in a minute.
5. Paralysis of Inaction: I'm going to share a nasty cycle that often gets overlooked
in our journey. And this is the cycle of
inaction and confidence. Because it's a paradox, fear of rejection
leads to inaction. Inaction in turn, erodes our confidence,
fueling more fear. This cycle starts with
a simple decision, which is not to act. Perhaps it's choosing not to submit your work to a gallery, or choosing not to share your
creative projects online, or choosing not to
try a new technique. The reason, it can be masked as procrastination
a lot of times, but often it's a
fear of rejection or criticism. Here's the twist. When we don't act, we deny ourselves the
opportunity to succeed, to learn, or to grow. When we choose not to act, we are rejecting ourselves. You guys, this means
that we are doing the very thing that we
are most afraid of, but we're the cause. This choice of inaction chips
away at our confidence. It makes the fear of rejection
even more intimidating. From my own experience,
I have learned that every time I've held
back due to fear, I wasn't just avoiding
potential rejection. I was also reinforcing the belief that my work
was not good enough. It was a self
fulfilling prophecy. The times that I did take the
leap, however, even when, even if, and when
faced with criticism, I grew not just in skill
but in competence. I was able to fail
better next time. If you've heard the acronym
F A I L first attempt in learning, it is a good one. Even if it's not
the first attempt, it's still one of those things that I was able to adopt like, oh, I'm going to fail, I'm excited to fail
because I get to learn. So this will inevitably build confidence because it's
building resilience. Remember that every artist
that you admire, everybody, every master of their
craft, has faced rejection. What sets them apart is their refusal to let fear
dictate their actions. I want you to think of
a time that you held back from an opportunity due
to the fear of rejection. Reflect on what you held back, how it made you feel afterwards. Did it impact your
confidence and how might have things been a
little different had you taken that step? I don't want you to
judge these inactions, I just want you to recognize a time that you
chose this route. As you reflect, remember that inaction breeds
doubt and fear, but action fuels
confidence and growth. Every step that you take, every risk that you embrace. I feel like that's
a spin on the song. It builds your
strength as an artist, not just in your craft, but in your heart.
And in your mind. We're about to move into
some practical ways to kind of rewire how
we think about this. And there are tools
that you can actually use rather than just
adopting mindset.
6. 10 Strategies for Engaging with Rejection: We're going to turn
our focus toward practical strategies for engaging with rejection
constructively. Because whether it is from
a client or the public, or ourselves, it can be
a tough pill to swallow, but it is an inevitable part
of the artistic journey. So I want to explore
some strategies to not just cope with rejection, but also use it as a
stepping stone for growth. First, let's look at
how to best respond to rejection in my
usual Peggy fashion. I have created an acronym
because I think that they are such helpful tools to remind us of exactly what
we're trying to do. And this is going to remind
you to give yourself grace, grasp, the inevitability
of rejection. Accept that it is a natural
and very inevitable part of the artistic process. It's not a reflection of
your worth or talent, but often a result of various external
factors like timing, specific needs,
subjective tastes, recognize and honor
your feelings. It is okay to feel
disappointed or upset. Allow yourself to
experience these emotions, but also set a limit. Giving yourself a
day or two to feel disappointed is
absolutely healthy. Dwelling on it for weeks or
months is counterproductive. It's about finding
that balance between acknowledging your
feelings absolutely, but also not letting
them consume you, adjust your viewpoint. This is like personal
versus perspective. While it's very easy to
take rejection personally, remember that art is subjective. What doesn't resonate with one person might deeply
resonate with another. Rejection often says more about the reviewer's state
or current trends or specific needs at a
certain moment in time, way more than it does about your inherent talent or the
value that you provide. Capitalize on learning and growth opportunities
whenever possible. Because when we can use rejection as a
learning opportunity, if feedback is
provided any of it, just analyze it critically.
You be the critic. Is there a common theme in the rejections that
you're receiving? Could it be an indication
of a particular area that needs improvement
or a signal to explore new
methods or themes in your work and then
expand your perspective. This is all encompassing
of what we just said. Because one rejection doesn't
define your entire journey. Remember that many successful
artists have faced numerous rejections and continue to before finding any success. Also, rejection after that, learning from it is much more
than a coping mechanism, is an essential part of development in what
we love to do. So here are some
ways to transform rejection into valuable lessons. Yes, it's another acronym. This is where we got to reflect and now we get
to learn and apply. The first is a bit of a stretch, but I need at this
point to be in L, look critically at
rejection when it strikes, take some time to objectively
analyze the situation. Ask yourself questions like, was this based on
subjective preferences or specific criteria? Because understanding
the why behind the rejection can provide insights into whether
it's a matter of taste, a mismatch of audience, or an area where you could improve and then examine
patterns for insights. This is building off of it. Are there consistent
themes or aspects of your work that are
frequently cited? If you use that information
to guide your development, maybe it's a
technique that needs refining or a new approach
to your subject matter. Or even thinking
about reconsidering the platforms or venues
where you do show up. And then there's adopting
a growth mindset. I know we've heard
this 1,000 times, but when we can cultivate
a growth mindset, that via is rejection as an opportunity for learning
and not as failure. This perspective
encourages resilience. And a proactive approach
to developing your skills. Reinforce that
creative resilience. Develop strategies that
help you bounce back. This could be through seeking support from fellow creatives. Focusing on self care,
give yourself the space. I take a lot of baths, but when I bring the candle
in, the candle comes on. That is some self care time. But remember, resilience is a muscle and it
gets stronger with use and then nurture
ongoing development. That sounds like a tech ad, but sometimes a rejection can be a nudge to polishing
your existing skills. And even experimenting with different styles or subject
matters or techniques. And that exploration can open up new avenues for expression
and opportunities. Goal for you in this session is to feel empowered
to move forward. It's to focus on how
you can transform the challenges of rejection and criticism into
powerful motivators. The key is really truly
to shift our perspective and use these experiences
as fuel for growth. It's what I try to do
on my entire platform, when I teach painting, when I teach calligraphy,
when I teach drawing, when I teach procreate
digital art, When I do all of these things, I just wanted to
feel like a space to explore that wholeheartedly. And that's just
scratching the surface because that's just
learning technique. This is all opportunity for
growth. I'll see in a minute.
7. Move Forward with the Act of Trying: One of the most
empowering actions as creatives is to embrace
the act of trying. Trying, even in the face
of potential rejection, is a testament to
your courage and a commitment to your
process and what you love. Each attempt, regardless
of the outcome, it builds your confidence. Remember that every successful
artist that you know, every successful creative
or entrepreneur, they've all faced
overcome rejection and will continue to do so. And their success lies
not just in their talent, but in their resilience
to keep trying. Rejection is not a
reflection of your worth. It is an inevitable part
of the artistic process. Emotions are very natural, acknowledging them
as very healthy. But don't let them define you. Use each rejection as
a learning opportunity to take pause and
improve and refine, develop resilience
by continuously engaging with new challenges
and opportunities. And remember that
the act of trying in itself is a success and
a step toward growth. And I want to thank
you for trusting me in this space that
is very vulnerable. I hope that after this session, you continue to explore the emotional and psychological
aspects of rejection. And also allow
yourself to engage in deep self reflection and even strategy development
to build resilience. Because remember, the
journey of creativity is just as much about
creating as it is about personal growth and
overcoming challenges. The reflections and the
commitments that you've made here are not
just exercises. They are powerful tools that can help to reshape your path. And as you move forward, you can carry with
you the understanding that rejection is not a barrier, but a catalyst for growth. So let your experiences, both the challenges
and the triumphs enrich your creativity and
strengthen your voice. Continue to embrace these risks. Learn from every experience, and above all, keep creating
with passion and courage. Your journey is unique
and invaluable, and every step,
including the stumbles, is a vital part of your story. Your workbook is to
serve as a reminder of your resilience and a resource for those moments that you need. A little extra encouragement, a little extra strength,
maybe some perspective. Remember that each rejection is a step on the
path to success. Your art, your voice,
and your journey. They're all unique and valuable. So keep trying and
let every experience, good or challenging,
fuel your growth. As an artist, if I can
handle a rejection, trust me, you've got this
and I am cheering you on. I invite you to hang out with me in other places
where we don't necessarily have to get so deep and we can have
a little bit of fun. Because I promise I'm fun, trust your process, your
story matters. What you put in the world
matters. It's needed. Again, my name is Peggy Dean. You can find me at the pigeon letters.com I'll see you soon.
Peggy Dean, Top Teacher | The Pigeon Letters
