Creating a Safe Space: Transforming Insecurity, Doubt, and Fear into Self-Love Through Art

1. Transforming Insecurity, Doubt, and Fear into Self-Love Through Art: Isn't it just the best when you get a hit of inspiration, where you can hardly wait to get going on a creative idea, an artwork. Maybe even you've seen someone painting very loosely and freely, and wouldn't it be wonderful to paint like that? And you just had that huge hit right of desire. And then more often than not, at least this has happened for me, where I feel those great feelings, and then it's like I'm being chased by feelings of insecurity and doubt and fear of, like, what other people will think. You know, I'm three steps ahead in my head. You know, how is it going to look on social media? And what if nobody likes it? Hi. I'm Almacox and I've been a painter and teacher for over 20 years. And what I've learned about these strong energies is that they really aren't meant to go away, you know, just because we want them to. They're always going to be there on our creative path, and they are asking for our attention first, and then also our appreciation so that they can be transformed into something deeper. And let's just use insecurity and doubt and fear as the three raw feelings that were transforming, they would be transforming into deep confidence, you know, the kind that's sustaining. Doubt, it would be decisiveness that comes from a place and trusting yourself. The fear would be turned into, like, real heartfelt courage to pursue the ideas that means something to you. So they want to transform to a deeper level within. The transformation process that I'm sharing today isn't really new because really, every time you create, you do connect with a deeper part of yourself, that unique creative being that you are inside. My invitation is to take a journey in this class consciously and with intention, where you bring your attention and appreciation to feelings that you find challenging by creating a special space for them. We will create a painting of a safe, cozy room where we will place things that represent our emotions. The goal is to see our emotions not as scary or as blocks, but as part of what makes you you. My hope is that it will help you know yourself better and help you see that there is more of you to love. My art process and the one I will share with you isn't really about perfection at all. It's about self expression. We're going to create something that we can look at with love and not with judgment. I judgment is present for you, then you can make a special object to represent that in your room. More on this later. You don't need special art skills, just an open heart, and a willingness to go within, which is why a room portrait works as a metaphor for this journey. I'm calling this an intermediate class because I'm not teaching you how to use a particular art supply. You can follow my process which is accessible to beginners or you can use your favorite art supplies and what you feel comfortable with. My process assumes that you have some experience layering paint. But again, I will walk you through that too. There are three process videos that are best watched and implemented in the order I'm sharing. The first is a background which represents the confusion that feelings can cause inside of us, like insecurity, doubt, and fear. Watch and create this video after the supplies video. The second process is the drawing of your room, which can be a simple sketch or more involved on an iPad and you're going to see me do both of these. The third process video is painting your room and adding the symbolic details. That video will also guide you through an introspection exercise that I recommend you do. By the end of this class, you will have a painting of a room that will be a reminder to you that you have what you need within to navigate the sometimes strong feelings that are part of the creative path. If you struggle with mental health issues, then please do seek professional help. I am not a trained psychologist. I am not a professional psychologist or professional therapist. So I just want to make sure that if you need special attention, you get that for yourself. What I'm sharing is a tool that has helped me gain confidence not only creatively, but also with my art goals, and I'm hoping that that can help you, as well. The other thing that's helped me is connecting more to my joy. So in the past, I've been extremely self critical, not only of myself, but also of my artwork, and I've been a perfectionist. Well, I still am. I mean, I don't think this ever goes away. I think, again, we're transforming the feelings, but I'm much more self loving and much more supportive of myself and my goals. And I know that a lot of artists do struggle with that. And so I'm hoping that this helps you. Also if you'd like to go a little bit deeper, I've created a YouTube video that I call the heroines journey on the Creative Path, and it was based on a talk that I gave to a group of women here where I live, and they found it really helpful, and I think it makes a good compliment to what we're talking about today. I hope that you'll check it out. A on my YouTube channel, I have several videos that bring the feelings together with the artwork. If that interests you more, the link is below. Without further ado, let's get going. 2. Class Supplies: Here's an overview of the supplies I use. You are welcome to use the supplies of your choice like a canvas, a sketchbook, or an iPad, for example. You may collage instead of paint. For the background, you will need to cover the surface of your choice with three colors and white and one very dark for outlining if you're following me, like burnt umber or indigo. I use acrylic gouache paints because I love the matte finish and I layer them with acrylics. For example, the white and burnt umber I use is just plain acrylic paint. I use a flat 1 " brush for painting and then a round brush for the room and the details later. I pick one that allows me to get the general shape of something, but not precise details. Mine is a little beat up, but I prefer it because the outlines it creates are unpredictable and add character. I will use only a square shape of my paper for my final painting. I have paper toels and water. I like to use recycled plastic bags and cut them in pieces for my palette. I also use colored pencils. These are by carnach and a white Posca pen, which is an acrylic paint pen for details. For the drawing process video, you can sketch your room idea on plain paper and in the resources, you will find a Pintrsbard of cozy rooms to inspire you. I will also do a quick hand drawn sketch on paper using images from the Pintresbard to help you if that's your process. I will walk you through my process of drawing on my iPad and show you how I use artificial intelligence, specifically chat GPT to help inspire me. But you don't have to go that route. I do recommend that you watch though my process because it might inform your process, even if you're hand drawing your room sketch. For creating the room, I will paint it based on my drawing, outlining first with a dark color, like I said, then filling in with paint. You can use whatever mediums you like again, as long as you can layer them with collage. Honoring your process and therefore, your choices is super important. I personally like the iPad because it gives me a lot of opportunity to make changes, which you will see. Painting will be different than my drawing and I encourage you to move in the direction your artwork guides you to make changes. Yes, I believe our art directs us, which is part of growing and trust of our creativity. You may decide to draw with pencil and finish with colored pens. All of it is process. This is a creative and emotional journey, support yourself by allowing your choices to be intuitive and tell yourself they are the right ones for you right now. If this whole thing brings up indecision or insecurity or both for you right now, then it's time to make your background. Pick a supply. You cannot get this wrong and let's go to the next video now. 3. Painting Your Background: For the background, you are creating a visual space for your feelings to be acknowledged. You paint them to look at them and acknowledge here they are. More often than not, that is simply what they want to be seen. As you paint, allow yourself to express how you feel out loud. I feel frustrated or I feel scared to mess up. If you prefer quiet introspection, that is okay too. However you notice your feelings, you claim them automatically as your own and really, that's all they want. They want you to see them, own them, and in this way, they are transformed. This first layer represents the chaos, confusion, and messy emotions that we sometimes feel. It's a reflection of insecurity, doubt, and fear in their raw form. It doesn't mean we have to use dark colors. You can if you want to, but I believe it's more important to allow yourself the freedom to choose colors that speak to your heart. A limited color palette helps to create a cohesive artwork and stretches us to mix new colors that we may not have used before. Hopefully by now, you've selected the first three colors that jump out at you. Trust that these are the right ones for your creative session. Remember to use white and your dark for contrast and outlining. The same principles apply to collage, make a limited color background as you keep my words in mind. As I paint, I'm giving myself the emotional freedom to create whatever shapes I want and I mix paint hues with white as I wish. There's no wrong way to do this. Let your feelings guide your brush. You can be as expressive, bold, or quiet as you need. I really like to push paint into paper and canvas. That feels really good to me. I'd like you to notice that I am using just the one flat brush for the whole background and I'll even use the wood end of it to scribble into it a little bit later. If you are brand new to painting and you've never layered paint, it is just a natural thing for paint to mix and muddy up. This brings me to my next point I just want you to keep that in mind. If you don't want your colors to be muddy, then wait for one layer to dry completely before you add the next layer if you're going to go for multiple layers on your background. I personally do like my colors to be mixed directly on the paper, and I also mix them a little bit on the palette, but for the most part, I'm mixing them on the paper. I'm allowing them to get muddy and I'm going to share that I have two strong feelings that come up when I do this because I've been doing this for a long time, I'm very aware of them both. One is the perfectionist in me who causes me to have insecurity. Generally, what she is thinking in my brain is that this is very unprofessional. You should be mixing all your colors on the palette. She's very worried about what other people think. And so what I try to do when I'm painting is I just speak out loud. I say, I know you're worried. I know that you're worried that it's going to go out into the world and, you know, what are people going to think, I'm validating all those feelings for her. But I also recognize that there's this inner child in me who just doesn't care. She wants to push paint around. She doesn't care if the whole thing turns into a brown muddy mess. She just wants to move paint. So because that feeling feels good to me in the moment, I have to acknowledge both. I have to balance this, I know you're worried, I'm talking to my perfectionist, and then I'm also feeling into the joy of the moment of these colors blending. Something to keep in mind. Now, these may not be your feelings at all. There might be feelings that are overwhelming. In which case, I do recommend that you pause your painting and you experience your feelings. Sometimes, at least for me in the past, I used to think I was going to die from having some of my feelings and it's not the case. Crying actually does clear out a lot of feelings and we can transform them. What's happening is a lot of times when we're very young in our life, we suppress things. For example, my perfectionism arose because I was a child who was very sensitive. I thought I had to get straight A's. I couldn't speak out of turn because I would get spanked. I also grew up very fearful and I had to walk a very straight and narrow line, so that's where the perfectionism arose. But I still experience it today in my 50s. But it's lessened a lot. We have a better relationship, and that's what I'm hoping will happen for you is as you progress with this style and form of painting, acknowledging your feelings, you will develop a relationship with yourself, a way to talk yourself through your feelings, but you can't avoid them. You do have to feel them. That's why they're there. They're there so that we can learn something from them. I personally value the child that I was. She had a real strong sense of survival. I truly admire. She's a very resilient person because she had to control her world and the way she did it was by being really good, being a really good girl. I hope that that serves you. If you have feelings of judgment where you're judging your painting, I just want you to know that it's just paint, it will dry and we are going to be putting more layers later. But if you do have a feeling of judgment, then pick a color right now that represents that judgment in this way, you'll begin the process at least of acknowledging that particular feeling. This is the way that we go through all of our feelings, and we will be more specific with objects. But for now, maybe that's something that you can do. I hope that you can get through this background with some sense of ease and some transformation has taken place. I'm very proud of you. Holding you in my heart and if you have any questions, please do reach out in the comments. See you in the next video. Thank you. 4. Draw Your Room, Give It Meaning: I will show you how I create sketches based on rooms in a Pintrapt that I created for you called Cozy Rooms. You're welcome to do your own search if nothing jumps out at you. The important thing is that whatever room you choose, it does inspire you. I'd like you to really pay attention to what your heart says yes to. In the same way you picked colors that spoke to you, I'd like you to pay attention to what it feels like to be moved by a room. While this class is about transforming uncomfortable feelings, it's important to validate the good feelings we feel too. Please don't overthink it and make three to five thumbnail sketches of rooms that you like on plain paper. Also, please feel free to use any photo or memory as inspiration for your room. Keep your sketches very simple. Even though this is a lumpy couch, my shapes are suggestions of what I see only. I know that when I paint my outline, the brushstroke will be rough. Putting in too many details now really doesn't matter. The details you might add at this point are things that come to mind to you as you draw. That are perhaps meaningful or symbolic so that you don't forget later if something if you think of something. But it's okay to wait for these details too. I liked this room for its color. That drew me in first. I like the shelf because it offers an opportunity to add things to it that are important to me later. Seeing several rooms and doing sketches for them also informs the final piece. For example, I really like the idea of having a door to an outdoor area, as I'm doing these sketches, I'm also keeping in mind, for my final piece, what is important to me. So it really does pay off, and it also is a great warm up to do some of these sketches. One of the ideas that came to me as I did this one was the idea of a bird cage and maybe with the door open and having it be free. Even just including artwork on your walls can bring a lot of meaning to your artwork. You may decide to address a feeling that you had in a childhood home, for example, and that artwork doesn't necessarily have to be exactly as you remember the past. It could just be these things that you insert into that artwork that means something like here I included a chair with an eye pillow on it, and that means something to me. So you're the one this is the artwork for you, just remember that it's not for anybody else and if it doesn't mean anything to others, it's fine. What matters is that it means something to you. Now that the sketch of your room is finished in general, I'd like you to think about some objects that represent insecurity, doubt, and fear or any other feelings that you would like to bring awareness to. These objects can be anything, a painting of a person, an abstract or landscape. Painting, a vase, an animal object. The point is to make your feelings tangible and assign them to an object, and they don't have to look exactly as they are or even in your memory. A face can be blue or not have features, a mountain can be pink. A vase can have a flower growing from it that extends out the window. Objects can be exaggerated in size. For me, for example, a lamp, this particular shape of lamp represent my grandmother's lamp and I actually had a lot of fears about her in my childhood, and this is something that I'm trying to illuminate. So this is a symbol for me. Objects can be placed on the floor, on a table, on a shelf, on the wall outside. They can just be sitting on the sofa or on a chair. You can put them throughout the room wherever you like. Be your best friend as you go through this process if some very tender feelings come up. I will show you how I use the free version of chat GPT to generate inspiration for me. The key is to be detailed in your description of what you want. Then once you receive an answer you are inspired by, you can even ask to have GPT generate an image for you. I'm pretty sure the free version which I have only allows one photo per day. It's best not to ask GPT for a photo right away. What I like to do is first wait for the artificial intelligence to answer and you'll see me go through that in just a moment. Then when I'm satisfied that I have enough symbols and there is enough details for me to create something, then I ask it for some images. In preparation for this class, I asked ChahPT to generate three different images over three different days, just so you can see how I used a variety of images from ChahPT to create a single room on my iPad. The other thing I want to mention is ChachiBT gave me 15 different ideas, and then what I did was I made sure to be very specific, and this is what I mean by waiting until you're excited about the feedback that you're getting. I waited for these answers so then I could tell it specifically, I like these numbers generate a photo for me based on my selections. The images are not perfect and you'll see that my room looks entirely different from them, but these are other ways to help you get inspired. I'm going to show you how I use all the images I created on my iPad to create my drawing. There are several elements that Cha HiPT created, for example, the cracked mirror, the Dandelion, that I did not use in my final artwork because I was very careful to make sure that all the elements that I did use in my final piece were meaningful to me. Even though, for example, I traced the girl on the sofa exactly. I did not do that with my painting. I just did a general idea of her. And this is the other part is that you're free to again, add or not add as many details as you desire. And here, for example, an embroidery hoop really meant a lot to me. I would say that Cha GBT freed me to create a giant embroidery hoop because that really reminded me of my childhood and feeling really sad and being in my room and just stitching away, as I did to just help myself feel better. Feel free to approach your sketch and your memories and the objects that you're going to be putting in your room in your very own way. You might just create a list, you might just brainstorm some evocative objects in your memories and just go from there. There are no hard and fast rules here. The important thing is to find things that symbolize maybe transformation, your feelings, putting things in your room that makes you happy, for example, for me, that was the Porcelain Stafford Chi dogs because I like them because they always have a little bit of they look a little bit put off and that is something that means something to me. Just keep it really personal and if any feelings do come up during the process, allow them. You guys, thank you. Let's move on to the next video. 5. Outline Your Room In Paint: Before you outline your room and paint, ask yourself one more time, what makes a room feel safe to you? Is there space for a special pillow or a cute dog or cat? Even if these don't end up in your painted room, adding last details to your sketch can be healing. I will walk you through my outline process now. I use my round brush to outline directly on the background, which is dry. I use a combination of burnt umber and the opera pink. If you have a dark background, you can lighten a paint color with white for your outline. I encourage you to just go for it without a pencil sketch on your background unless you find a pencil sketch feels better to you. I like to allow myself imperfection, simple wonky lines that represent the thing that I'm painting, not an exact rendition. Things don't have to line up, furniture legs don't have to match. My aim is childlike freedom, and I hope that is your aim too. Childhood is when many of my insecurities and fears began, allowing a messy and loose approach where I'm free to create as I want to feels empowering to me. You may want to ask your child's self what they need and you can invite that possibility into. If you're making a collage, think about just adhering as you go. Letting your intuition guide you. My outline, you'll notice that I'm using the pink in lighter places and then the darker in the darker places from the background. I'm using this as an opportunity to create some contrast, but you can keep your outline solid if that feels better for you. So I'm going to go ahead and speed up this outline and just talk you through some of the decisions that I'm making. The first being that I don't have enough space for all the details on my sketch, and that is just a natural thing that happens. So what's nice is I can pivot, and so can you. Right now I'm creating a side table instead of the pot with the flowers and I'm also going to change where I'm putting my girl in the painting, the girl that looked sad because in my painting, I don't have enough space really behind the chair to create a large enough artwork to represent her unless I take the painting up high, which I don't really want to do. Hope that makes sense. I've decided instead to add just a few more frames on the other side of the chair, and this is part of the improvisation process. Here is where I'm adding the pot of flowers. Here I have one, two, three books, and in my sketch, I have one, two, three, four, five books. So you can change direction, and it's important to remind yourself that this is process art, an artwork that is intended to help you become more aware of your feelings. Ing more pressure to yourself isn't necessarily going to help you. Try to keep the details simple. Maybe don't outline all of them and leave some to maybe pencil in or use a pen. Just go easy on yourself and just take note of how you're feeling along the way and hopefully you can get in touch with your joy and these details that hopefully there are some that bring you joy as well. See you in the next video, we'll add more color. 6. Painting In Details: Make sure that the outline layer is completely dry before you add more color. What I'd like you to think about as you are adding more color and some more details, Remember that a painting does not have to represent things exactly. I know I keep saying that, but I just want you to take that pressure off of yourself. If you'll notice closely, my sketch, the flowers have a very particular shape, but when I paint them, they are a little more blobby and same with the butterfly. Everything is just a little more it's as if there's a filter on everything. It's just a little bit blurry and that is something that can help you out, really. But I do want you to consider contrast because if you use light colors on dark backgrounds and vice versa and dark colors on your lighter background, your elements are going to pop more. I say this in every video I make, I think the human eye sees contrast before it sees color. Even if you're using very vibrant colors, try to focus a little bit on that contrast, the darks and the lights and using white if you have to. White is just a great way to create highlights. Also, I'd like to just gently emphasize how using the palette that you chose initially, and trying to mix it as much as possible with itself is really the best way to make your painting cohesive. What that means is, do your best to not add more colors to your painting. If you must, then go for it. I don't want to limit you. But if your aim is for the room to have colors that harmonize with each other, then keeping your palette limited is really the best way to go. Now, as I'm painting too, it's okay to paint into your outline. It's also okay to leave shapes without being painted in. Now, here I've decided to use a much darker green for the ground and then paint in so that that rug just stands out a little bit more. I don't want the rug to jump, so that's why I use are a little bit darker green around the border of it on the edges of it. So also, you may want to consider using the shapes of your background to create new elements or to try something different. Moving forward, as I add more details with pencils and the Poscapen, I want to make sure that the paint is completely dry on the surface that I'm using those pencils and those pens on. As you finish up your painting and as it dries, I invite you to close your eyes and hold the image of the painting in your mind. And I want you to imagine yourself stepping into your room. Maybe in your mind, your room is even a little bit different. But the objects that you've selected that represent the feelings that you are bringing awareness to, they are there. I'd like you to notice how they feel in this safe space in your mind. As objects, they aren't threatening anymore. But when you feel them, they really can be. They are a part of you, feeling threatening to get your attention in order to help you expand your capacity to love yourself more. It's really not an ideal way to get our attention, but it is what we have as humans. I want you to think about how you get to love them as a privilege. Sometimes, if we can look at them the way we would maybe our child or our pet or very good friend or our partner, what a gift they are in our life. It's the same with the feelings and you do have the capacity to love them. It doesn't mean that they define you. They are not all of you, but they are a part of you and a part that is pretty significant. Next, I'd like you to think of yourself as the room that holds your feelings. Imagine yourself that you are the room. In fact, you are even much bigger than the room, which means that the objects inside the room and representing your feelings are not bigger than you, even though they might feel that way sometimes. Open your eyes and begin with a simple thanks to your feelings for being here. You can talk to them if you feel like you want to, you can write to them, and in fact, you can always write to them or talk to them. They're just here to be felt, seen and accepted. You don't have to change them. That's not the goal. The transformation happens on its own as you feel and accept them as they arise in your life. I'm going to show you how I practice having a relationship with one of my feelings. Here's what I said to insecurity. Insecurity when I feel you, I feel scared of what others will think about what I make. I'm afraid to be seen because I'll be judged when what I really want is to be loved. I take a step by loving me now and I accept you. Even if you don't feel good, I do see you and I accept you as you are, and I'm grateful for you. I hope that that helps and I look forward to seeing what you create if you feel so inclined to share your artwork in the portal, that would be wonderful. And I just want to remind everybody to be extra tender and respectful with one another as you comment on things. I certainly will be. I will see you in the next video. Thank you. 7. Skillshare Feelings Class Going Forward: We brought attention and painted what represents the chaos that some feelings can create and we also created a safe space to transform those feelings. This is the power of creativity. And remember that you are the creator and the observer of all of your emotions, and this is a powerful thing to know. All of your feelings make up the beautiful human that you are. Thank you so much for being brave enough to go on this journey, and I'm so grateful that you joined me. If you are interested in a supplement to this class, I did create a video on YouTube about the heroine's journey on the creative path and I think it works well. Love for you to join my email newsletter where I offer even more inspiring content about creativity and artwork. I will leave that information for you. I'm wishing you all the best on your creative journey. Thank you again and happy creating.