This is specifically the second story in a series of rewritings I want to do. The first is "What is Snow White was the Villainess" and this one is "What if Cinderella Fell In Love with the Fairy Godmother".

 

Original Story

Story Beats:

We meet a girl named Cinderella who has two loving parents.

Her mother dies and father gets remarried.

After the death of her father, her stepmother and stepsisters start treating her like a maid.

Cinderella grows up to be beautiful.

One day they get an invitation from the castle to attend a ball.

Cinderella makes her own dress, and on the day of the ball her sisters destroy it.

Cinderella cries while her family leave for the ball.

While crying, her fairy godmother arrives and magically makes her a new dress, carriage, etc.

Cinderella is told that the magic will be broken at midnight.

She goes to the ball and enjoys herself. While dancing with the prince, she loses track of time and has to quickly run off.

She loses her shoes as she runs away.

The prince later finds the show and uses it to search for his princess.

The stepsisters try the shoe on, cutting off parts of their feet to try to fit into the shoe.

Finally, Cinderella tries on the shoe, and it fits.

She lives happily ever after.

Setting:

Once Upon a time.

Old Eurupe

Characters Profiles:

Cinderella: The Main Character. A hard-working beauty

Evil Stepmother: A wicked woman who only cares for her own daughters.

Evil Stepsisters: Two young women who go along with their mother’s cruelty.

Fairy Godmother: Main character. A woman with a wand who helps Cinderella.

The Prince: A nameless man who falls in love with Cinderella.

Writing Style:

Third person

Past Tense

Key Question:

If you work hard, you will be rewarded.

 

Retelling Breakdown

Key Question:

Is love stronger than destiny?

Setting:

 Once Upon a Twisted Tale

Writing Style:

First Person

Present Tense

Character Profiles:

Cinderella: A shy girl who wants to start her own business in trading but is being forced to marry.

Evil Stepmother: A woman who is tired of Cinderella’s freeloading.

Evil Stepsiblings: fraternal twins (boy/girl) who make their sister’s life miserable. One loathes Cinderella, and one loves her but shows it poorly.

Fairy Godmother: the new main character. She is assigned to be Cinderella’s fairy godmother, and to make sure Cinderella follows her destiny.

The Prince: A man who wants to rule first, marry later.

Story Beats:

Fraya is given Cinderella’s file.

She watches Cinderella’s dress get torn.

She introduces herself to Cinderella and helps her get to the ball.

Cinderella asks Fraya to come to the ball with her and the two have a fun night.

Cinderella dances with the prince and Fraya is reminded of the girl’s destiny. She leaves so she won’t interfere further.

The next day she stays away from Cinderella in an attempt not to interfere.

Fraya notices something is wrong with Cinderella’s destiny, even though she is on rute to marry the prince.

She goes to Cinderella, and they talk, realizing they want to be together, and they run off together, which reenforces Cinderella’s destiny of being with the person she loves.

Cinderella becomes a trader, and Fraya continues being a fairy godmother.

 

Retelling Roadmap

Section I​: ​Beginning

We meet Fraya, a fairy godmother in training. She is graduating from the magic academy and is being put on her first assignment. She is given Cinderella’s file and finds out about the girl’s past.

Feeling bad, Fraya goes to her godchild and watches as the girl’s stepsister rips apart Cinderella’s dress as the stepbrother laughs.

Section II​: ​Middle

Fraya takes a few deep breaths before joining the girl in the garden. Fraya introduces herself and sits with the girl. Cinderella tells Fraya about how she wanted to just have a night of fun before she was married off to a farmer’s son.

Fraya asked what Cinderella wanted to do with her life, since it wasn’t mentioned in the file. Cinderella tells her that she wants to become a trader, trading homemade soaps and candles.

Fraya encourages Cinderella and makes her a gown, telling her to make the most of her life and not to let anyone tell her what she can and can’t do. Fraya beings Cinderella to the ball and Cinderella asks Fraya to stay.

The two dance and laugh. When the evening starts to get late, Cinderella is asked to dance by the prince. Fraya’s chest aches and she leaves.

Fraya stays home and watches Cinderella in a crystal ball as she lives out her destiny. She looks at some files of other fairytale creatures, and peeks into Cinderella’s again and notices that she is not on the path to fulfil her destiny. She quickly rushes to the wedding and finds Cinderella in her room.

Section III​: ​End

The two talk and Fraya realizes that she wants to be with Cinderella, and Cinderella wants to be with her.

Fraya sneaks Cinderella out of the castle and they run off to start their own life together.

Cinderella makes her own soaps and candles and trades them for other goods. Fraya continues to be a fairy godmother, becoming more aware of what people’s destiny’s mean.