The Worst Restaurant

 

Hi, I’m Jenja, the new Food Critic for the Phoenix Gazette. Last evening I had a harrowing dining experience at a hole in the wall restaurant called Mickey’s Meals.  

 

The lighting was far too dim to be able to see much of anything at first, but soon my vision adjusted to the lacking light. The room was cold and dank and the atmospheric odors offended my olfactory system.

 

The tables were large scale versions of the best iterations of the challenge “to build a better mousetrap,” I’ve seen to date. The best part of that scene was they looked clean. The tables were dressed with paper towels for the placemats and napkins which had chewed edges that may have been an attempt to add a touch of class. The seating looked like empty spools of thread. There were no dishes or utensils—the dishwasher had recently been exterminated.

 

They offer a very limited menu of shredded paper goods, mattress stuffing, and a relatively extensive variety of cheeses in different stages of decay.

 

The service was nonexistent because the mousy wait staff would run and hide whenever they were noticed.

 

Needless to say, my experience wasn’t just sad:  I consider this, without exception, The Worst Restaurant!