My second effort was so much more pleasant as my inner critic was quiet and I felt a sense of play.

Since my domestic violence related divorce in 2012, I have been creatively stuck in that feeling of grief.

Just like you shared, I procrastinated creating art because I didn't want to deal with my inner life resistance so I avoided creating even though I longed to paint again.

I was a high school art teacher and was able to create so I could illustrate my curriculum lessons so I think these projects and posting them is helping me a great deal.

Thank you so much,

Renee

And your voice and chosen words in the meditation impacted me in a gentle way.

 

First attempt below

 

I just seem to keep going on one until it has no more room left. 

My inner child: we tend to be heavy together, like thick, and that is exactly what I felt in this moment of creating. 

It started out bla bla bla with wet on wet and then more bla bla bla instead of having a critic I had heavy stuck. 

I just kept playing through the numb and then became some anger showing up. 

I added some colored ink to the mix but it needed this and that and this and that. 

I added fingernail polish and more colored ink. 

Some more anger showed up and I got an exacto knife and scraped through some water color paper to wade through the dark to life some white paper through. 

I just kept going instead of changing to another attempt. 

More ink more fingernail polish until I completed the emotion. 

My creative block has been exactly like you shared, an avoidance of the feelings of my inner child. 

You definitely brought a kindness of letting go of all expectations of a finished product helped me a-lot.

 Hopefully I will stop procrastinating and get more painting going and for this I am more hopeful taking your coarse. 

And your mediation voice and choice of words was beautiful and meaningful to me. 

Thank you

 

Renee