Alanna Cartier

Deixe-se levar: pinte pássaros de forma expressiva em guache

Oh, I love your precious bird! There is so much good in it (like those gorgeous brush strokes along his neck and body, and the expressiveness in his eye!), but sometimes it can be hard to see when we only focus on the finished piece, and how far away it is from our expectations. For me, my expectations are often the reason I end up most unsatisfied with a finished piece and with how I felt through the process of creating it. Having very specific expectations can make me so afraid as I work. My brush strokes become small and tight because I don't want to "mess it up". My deep need to control every mark means I can't play and experiment. And then when I finish I just tend to hold what I've created up against my reference and beat myself up for all the ways I feel I've fallen short. My project for the class was a big struggle, too. I can find it hard when I'm teaching because I want to impress and I am very aware of the students (like you!) who will see the finished piece. I want to make sure you all know that I know what I'm doing. That can make me want to control every little thing. My inner voice can get very mean and judgy. And so I have plenty of birds I've painted that I love and that I am super proud of, but the bird I created for this class feels... complicated. It's certainly not my favourite piece and I had to really weigh whether or not to paint something else (something better) instead. In the end, I decided not to, but now I am realizing that I should have shared more of that discomfort and uncertainty in the class itself. Maybe I'll make a bonus video (you've inspired me). That feeling can come up for all of us creatives when we make something and want to share our work. We want it to be good enough. We want to impress. When we paint something that doesn't meet our expectations (that we tell ourselves is bad), it can also feel like we are bad. But our art is not us. It's of us, but also outside of us, and doesn't say anything about our value as artists or humans. These days, I try to build steps into my process that make me get looser, feel more experimental and playful, and take the pressure off to make something "good". I try to focus more on fun and joy in the process than on what comes out (but that is still a struggle). Some strategies for me are: -Calling each painting a study. This reminds me that each painting is a learning process and helps reframe my thinking toward my own growth and away from the finished product. -Sketching things more than once, or digitizing my sketch (so I can print it off again and again). This lets me iterate (paint the same thing again and again), to be more experimental. No single piece feels like the most important one. I did a Christmas card project a few years ago and letting myself paint each sketch as many times as I want helped me to see the magic in each new thing I tried. Now I will paint the same thing twice -Don't be afraid to build up layers. The magic of gouache is that it can be layered. Nothing is permanent until you decide it is. You can't really ruin it, like with watercolour, because you can almost endlessly paint over the parts that don't feel right yet. I used to feel like I had to get everything right on the first layer (or I would feel like I failed). These days I love the way that paint peeks through the layers and builds more depth than I could get otherwise. -Work on more than one painting at a time. This can help me let go a bit. I'll mix a colour I like for one painting, and then I don't want to waste paint, so I'll add a little paint to all the other paintings I have on the go that could use that colour. Since I'm hopping between paintings and trying to use up paint, I can't get too fussy about any one painting. Thank you so much for taking the time to watch the class and share a project. And for your vulnerability too. What I can say without a doubt is that you did not pick the wrong bird. And I'm so grateful that you created something and shared it.

I wish I would have gone with a bird were the feathers were more apparent and not so smooth looking. He looks pretty rough.

Waxwing

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