As a child, I loved the outdoors. I climbed trees, rode my bike and attempted to skateboard, skinning my knees and hands at every turn. I was reckless and careless, always bouncing right back after getting hurt. I never cared for a life of safety and I always dared to do more than the other kids. My hair wild and my eyes wide, I dove headfirst into adventure, and into the pool because I also loved to swim. I was also pretty careless in the pool and ended up denting the bridge of my nose, including the bone, as I came up from a laps race with my sister, hitting my nose one the metal edge of the pool.

 

         As a teenager, my wildness became more tame as I tried to figure out who I was and who I wanted to be as a person. My dad ended up in prison and I was raised by a single mom. I told myself then that I didn't want to end up like either of my parents. I didn't want to be a sex-addicted cheater like my father, and I didn't want to be on the other end of that either, like my mom. I wanted a husband and a family that would last. I had relationships and romances as a teenager, none of which could live up to my ideals of "the perfect love." I moved on from each one with ease, until I found the one that did meet those ideals, but he wasn't ready and he moved on, leaving me heartbroken for the first time. 

        I then changed my ideals, deciding I no longer wanted a romance for the ages and that I was better off alone. I, of course, continued to date because it was "the cool thing" to do at that age, but I never intended any of them to last and I made sure they didn't; finding a flaw in every situation and using that as an excuse to leave. Growing into being that "forever single" person, knowing I wasn't meant for the fairy-tale of true love.

 

      Now, I am a single mom who tried to have forever once again. Forever didn't last as long as I thought it would for the romance that made my daughter, but my definition of "forever" is changed as I look at my beautiful girl. Forever, I will be her mom and her my daughter; forever I will love her with all that I am, unconditionally and deeply; forever I will smile when I look at her little face watching her tablet or a movie on TV, even when her little face get bigger, I will forever see her as my baby.