Dalia Griffith

Rédaction de copies 101 : Rédaction d'une description de produit qui vend

This was a very nice description. Good job

this made me chortle out loud, I could picture it, nice one Luis

Hi Luis!Thank you so much for your submission, and many apologies for the delayed response.Your project is awesome! The story is spot-on for the product, and I love the humor, and especially the closing line. Great job thinking about who would actually be purchasing this pillow, and speaking directly to them and their interests/emotions. Honestly, my only feedback is to replace "pledging" with another word, like "littering, "cluttering," or even something more simple like "covering." Just to help really drive the point home: The bed is being suffocated and and it's time to act.Also, I think you could add one more line at the end to encourage them to purchase a few pillows to offset the more feminine decor in other areas of the home. Maybe something like this: And why stop at sleeping? Buy a few to make your mark in every room.Again, thanks so much for your excellent submission, and please let me know of any questions or if you'd like more feedback.Dalia

Does your wife insist on pledging your bed with throw pillows that look like they were made for a barbie dream house? Time to take back your bedroom like you take over the road with the iconic Firebird. Time to sleep in legacy.

first attempt.

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