Writing Vivid Descriptions: Tash Finds a Body

VERSION ONE:
Tash walked down the path that cut through her property. Sass, her Anatolian and Australian Shepherd mix, bounded past her, excited to release her pent-up energy after more than four hours on lock down. It was nearly 11 p.m., and no artificial light lit the way for Tash. She felt comfortable navigating by the faint light of the stars and half-moon, having walked down this path at night many times. Tash took a deep breath of the cool night air, and she was hit with the fresh smell of new grass. Tash loved early Spring. When a sudden gust swept over her, she could smell the full floral scent of lilacs. Tash thought about what other flowering bushes and trees she wanted to plant. Sass’s deep bark interrupted her thoughts. Sass barked again, and Tash turned in the sound’s direction.
“What is it, girl?” she called out, walking toward the woods that bordered her property to the east.
Sass answered with a low guttural growl from deeper in the trees. Tash switched on her phone’s flashlight and cautiously stepped over a tangle of fallen branches. She carefully navigated through the trees. The smell of Spring grew fainter the further she went into the woods, and a heavier, earthier scent took over. Sass barked again, calling Tash to see what she had found. The fresh and floral top note was gone, replaced by the base notes of winter’s decay, the pungency of rotting wood and decomposing leaves. Holding up her phone’s light, Tash saw Sass sitting by a dark heap on the ground. As she approached Sass, the sickening smell of rot overwhelmed Tash. Every breath she took tasted like death. What Sass found explained why. It was the dead body of an elderly Black woman.
VERSION TWO:
Tash walked down the path that cut through her property. Sass, her Anatolian and Australian Shepherd mix, bounded past her, excited to release her pent-up energy after more than four hours on lock down. It was nearly 11 p.m., and no artificial light lit the way for Tash. She felt comfortable navigating by the faint light of the stars and half-moon, having walked down this path at night many times. The pulsing cadence of katydids and crickets filled the night air with reassuring sounds. Tash stopped and listened to the night. She heard the rhythmic and repetitive call of the Eastern Whip-poor-will, its tune giving the nocturnal bird its name. Tash smiled at the memory of her dad teaching her to recognize bird songs. Sass’s deep bark interrupted her reminiscing. Sass barked again, and Tash turned in the sound’s direction.
“What is it, girl?” Tash called out, walking toward the woods that bordered her property to the east.
Sass answered with a low guttural growl from deeper in the trees. Tash switched on her phone’s flashlight. She stepped through a tangled heap of branches, startled by the staccato snap of a breaking stick. Tash no longer focused on the sounds of insects and birds. Her attention was tuned to the sound of her steps crunching on dead leaves. Tash’s phone felt sure and safe in her left hand with its small beam of light. She kept her right hand raised, and when she tripped over a small rock, Tash reached for a tree trunk to steady herself. A piece of dry, cracked bark broke off in her hand. Tash stopped for just a moment, and the feel of the fragment’s jagged edges surprised her. She threw the tree’s piece of broken armor to the ground. Holding up her phone’s light, Tash saw Sass sitting by a small dark mound. As she approached Sass, the woods grew deathly silent, or so it seemed to Tash. The dead body of an elderly Black woman lay in a heap before her.