Nikki Parsons

Redacción de deportes 102 | ¿Cómo escribir un reporte de partidos?

Hi Adam, Great job on this article and thank you for submitting it as a project! Here's some feedback for you: <ul><li>Take closer consideration of your hook, because the article's subject is on the Oldham Athletic vs. Ashton United match, but the first sentence, "Laurent Banide's side, Oldham Athletic, looked to improve on Saturday's 3-2 defeat to Rochdale in the Ernie Cooksey Trophy." doesn't really hook me in to the actual subject of the article. I think this line and some of the subsequent ones would make sense after having a real hook. It's great to give background info, but first, capture the attention of the reader.</li> <li>I love how you began the match detail section with "In the sweltering 27°c heat", this really gave me a sense of the atmosphere and the difficulty of the playing conditions</li> <li>Similarly, this sentence, "To the tune of 'We all dream of a team of trialists' from the supporters," was perfect to transmit the emotion of the game to the reader, I think you have perfectly applied the theory of trying to transport the reader to the stadium.</li> <li>In terms of grammar and spelling, it was overall really good, I spotted some simple errors (ex. "no wat to break the deadlock between them." wat --&gt; way) so try next time to read out loud the article before sending to the VAVEL editors (who I'm surprised did not catch this!)</li> <li>Also, at the end of the article, remembering to apply the inverted pyramid and perhaps give some additional optional info, the list of players from the match, linking to other relevant articles from the publication would also be a good idea and help endear you to the editors :)</li> </ul>Overall, it's really good, especially for a first match report. I'm impressed, keep it up.

Hi Nikki, I managed to start writing for VAVEL so here is my first match report using all the tips from the course and I hope it turned out well
 
<a href="https://www.vavel.com/en/football/2019/07/23/988994-oldham-athletic2-2-ashton-united-laurent-banides-side-held-to-a-draw-by-lower-league-opposition.html" rel="nofollow noreferrer noopener" target="_blank">https://www.vavel.com/en/football/2019/07/23/988994-oldham-athletic2-2-ashton-united-laurent-banides-side-held-to-a-draw-by-lower-league-opposition.html</a>

Oldham vs Ashton United Match Report

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