So how intimidating could it be to be the first to submit a project on facing fears? Props to Brenda Harris! That makes it just a tiny bit less intimidating to be the second, I suppose. But here we go. :)
I'm Mandy and my middle name should be fear. Fear is a monster I've been battling in many areas of life, so why not my creative journey as well? Something else you should know about me: I say all the words. So if you're reading this and you have a short attention span, thanks for stopping by and I won't hold it against you if you don't go any farther. lol
I have a lot of creative aspirations. I want to learn all the things. In the realm of things creative, I currently spend most of my time on crocheting and learning watercolor. I enjoy a bit of writing now and then too, but don't have much time for it these days. I have dabbled in knitting, yarn dyeing, cross stitching, quilting by hand, charcoal drawing, pencil drawing, acrylic painting, oil painting, and probably a bunch of other things I'll add as they come to me. I have also taken lessons to learn to play the hammered dulcimer (currently on hiatus). I love arts of all kinds and have spent years trying out different art forms in an attempt to discover which one is "mine." At the moment, I'm feeling like either the jury is still out or I can't limit myself to a singular art form.
I love the idea of being professionally creative, but that's where the fear comes in. I'm afraid that I'll never find my medium and my artistic "voice." I'm afraid that even after I learn all the things I want to learn, that I won't be good at any of them enough to be a professional. I'm concerned about how I always seem to choose new hobbies that are expensive and we don't have a lot to spare. I've attempted to sell some crochet items before, but I'm not a good salesperson, and I also don't live in an area that really appreciates the value or art of handmade. I know these all sound like excuses, but this is where I am.
What is the worst case scenario? Is it really worth the anxiety? Well... The worst that could happen is that I sink all of our money into my attempts, but don't have any talent. Then I would be depressed because I can't achieve my dreams, AND broke, and we would lose our house because I wasted all of our money on worthless pursuits. I think it's worth a little bit of attention and consideration. lol I know I would never go so far as to bankrupt us over attempting art, but for me, I like to imagine the ludicrously worst thing, and then I know it will never be that bad.
One thing I can do today to get started, even though I am afraid is... I can start learning and practicing. I'm not going to make good art if I don't do these things. This is the first bite of the elephant.
So confession time, y'all... I'm not a social person. I don't like to be social. I don't want to be social. Generally speaking, that is; there are, of course, exceptions to every rule. I know my husband and my sister and my parents will be supportive of my work, because they always have been. I know a lady who is amazing at everything she ever attempts... I kind of want to be her when I grow up. She might be a good mentor if I have the guts to ask and the motivation to socialize. Peers will be harder, though. Especially if I haven't decided on a medium with any finality. But I can totally follow people on Instagram. :-p That part's easy. I just requested to join the FB group, but I get the impression that I'm late to this party, so I don't know if anyone is still using it.
I want to someday become a professional creative. I will not let fear of utter failure and bankruptcy hold me back from learning, practicing, growing, and improving. If I become paralyzed by fear, I will remember that everyone had to start by learning and practicing, and if I don't give up, I can only improve. Progress is always better than sitting still. When I'm afraid or overwhelmed, I will turn to my husband, Joey, who is always helpful, honest, and supportive of my creative endeavors. When I'm not sure what to do next or how to solve a problem in my specific creative pursuit, I will turn to the Internet (if I'm being honest). But I will also seek out someone to be a mentor. To start on the path today, I will take time, at least once a month, to learn and practice some creative skill so that I can uncover my "artistic voice."