Sue Anne Chan

Storyboard for Animation

Thank you so much for your kind words and for sharing your project Dannie! Seeing your message and knowing a student put everything I taught to practice really made my day :') Overall you did a lovely and cute animatic, below is my feedback for it! In it, I refer to your OCs in the animatic as Glinda (the popular character who I took to be the tall one with shades, a hat and scars on their lips) and Elphaba (the unpopular character who's shorter with fluffy hair) since the soundtrack is from Wicked.Parts to improve:- The truck in at 0:28 to 0:38 was not very clear in showing that it's from Glinda's perspective; I think it would help a lot if in the previous scene at 0:23 (the scene that shows a split screen of both Glinda and Elphaba) you added 2 panels to follow it up instead of using the side view of Elphaba in the scene at 0:26 as it doesn't clarify who's POV this scene is from. The 1st panel is the one you drew of them looking at their phones, then the 2nd panel should show Glinda glancing up from their phone to look at Elphaba with wide eyes then the 3rd panel shows Glinda squinting thinking about how to describe Elphaba. Then add another panel to the start of the scene at 0:27 (where Glinda is looking at Elphaba and the camera trucks in). The 1st panel shows Elphaba looking at them with furrowed brows, then looking down at their phone typing the lyrics of the song furiously (referring to the 'unusually and exceedingly peculiar...' lyrics, etc). 0:38 - 0:40 is also a bit too much of a jump cut, I would suggest that the level of zoom in 0:40 to be the same as 0:38 so that Elphaba just pipes up and retorts "BLONDE." with either a smirk or a scoff (this depends on how you want to characterise this OC).- The composition at 2:22 and 2:24 be reworked so the main characters aren't squished to either side. You could choose to draw Glinda in the foreground looking at Elphaba who's small in the distance, and surrounded by the crowd. For storytelling purposes, Glinda could have the light of the door as well to show that they are the person being supported by the crowd in this scene while Elphaba is left in the dark/ostracised. - 2:27 is quite unclear, on first watch I thought they were hitting each other but I realised upon rewatch that Glinda was actually in the BG while Elphaba was sparring with someone in the foreground. The composition in this scene could be improved too, with Elphaba &amp; the character they're fighting shifted to the right. In terms of making this scene clearer, I would suggest adding two panels to this scene. The first panel showing Elphaba and their friend sparring, 2nd panel showing the door that Glinda comes in from opening, and 3rd panel shows the characters entering the scene. Then it could cut to a scene of Glinda walking, then glaring at Elphaba. Cut to Elphaba's flushed face; then cut back to Glinda's glare at 2:31, where they turn away with an angry/flustered blush.- Composition at 2:45 can also be improved slightly by making Elphaba and their friend smaller and further into the BG, and the foreground characters more in frame so the scene doesn't cut their heads off in an awkward manner. This will show more visual contrast; you could also add a panel showing Elphaba and their friend walking towards the camera/the foreground characters. Same applies to 2:48, only inversed!- The composition at 3:10 could be altered as well since it's an establishing shot; I think adding some bushes in the foreground on the lower right to balance the scene, and there could be some mountains or very rough sketch of a skyline in the BG to add depth (this will show the audience that there's a foreground, midground and background so the scene doesn't look too flat).- At 3:14, instead of cutting straight to Elphaba's glare, they could still be facing away from the camera (since they are still walking away in the previous scene), then it can cut to them looking to the camera, in the direction of Glinda. - 3:19 could have a diagonal panel splitter like 2:42 does (only it's with close up shots with Glinda on the upper side looking down on Elphaba) Best parts of the animatic:- Really enjoyed that you cut the boards to the audio/beat! Adds rhythm to the overall pacing.- The character dynamic and focus of the narrative is also very clear, you showed their rivalry very distinctly so the main story theme is highlighted very well.- The pacing from 1:14 to 1:24 was well done, it's also clear that Glinda trips Elphaba and it shows their dynamic with one another.- 1:56 to 2:09 was also very well done, the reveal of the crowd is effective and you can feel everyone ganging up on Elphaba- Your use of camera pans &amp; tilts are well balanced and utilised at the appropriate parts of the storyboard, you didn't add too much or use too little! It helped emphasize the key parts of the storyboard and show each character's emotions.- The ending was also another favourite part of mine, a small but fun cheeky interaction between your characters!All in all, I think you did a good job! Though there are sections to improve, namely the composition of most of the establishing shots in your board and the clarity of certain key scenes, you managed to highlight the characters that mattered and I knew exactly what relationship they both had with one another as the audience. Thank you for sharing your art with me Dannie! Hope you have an enriching and fulfilling journey in storyboarding, and I look forward to all the stories you'll share with the world in the future! I think you'll go very far &lt;3

Thank you so much! I have never really gotten critique like this so I really appreciated it! I shall save these nots for a remake in the future! Thank you again so much! Is there anywhere like email or instagram where I could send my future works? Or is here fine? Thank you again so much for your input!

Sincerely,
Dannie.

Sure I'd love to! My insta handle is @sue_aniart feel free to dm links to your future works on there. Happy to hear that the feedback helped, hope you have lots of fun drawing and creating your own stories!

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Hi! My name is Dannie! I was nervous to send this, but I would love to know other ways I could improve. there are some flaws I am already aware of, but there may still be more. I used Storyboarder by wonder unit to make this and the song is from Wicked the Musical. I love your class! I watched it more than once lol. Thank you again!
Sincerely,&nbsp;
Dannie

Oc Musical animatic

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