Adi Shimron

Make Everything Interesting

Hi Jose, Thank you for sharing your project with us! It's always a pleasure to connect with my students :)Here is my feedback: - It's a good idea to start with a famous gamer. I'm intrigued to know more about his story while reading. The fact that the military used his strategies is mind-blowing. I'm going to google that right away, which means it's a great story. It's a great opening. - You told your story well of how you got introduced to these games. But what was the thing that made you fall in love with them? What do you find interesting about those games?As for the "How will I do it" part: You have such a great story with Slayer Boxer, that I would start with that. It's something we didn't know could happen and gets you thinking again about strategic games, in a completely different way. Now, you still have to write the part of the opening. You're welcome to do so and post it here. Good luck! Adi

Hi Adi, thanks for replying and for the feedback. answering your first question about what made me fall in love of these types of games, it was that i feel i was doing good playing versus other real people or friends, the fact that i needed to manage resources like minerals (money) or gas (natural resources), to build a clan or a base, take decisions on what to do first , how to expend that money, what makes more sense and save resources in case i needed for a counter attack, made the game really interesting for me, every game was completely different, was like chess but several more actors.  related to the opening, totally forgot about it, so here we go: "Hi everyone, i would like to talk to you about 1 of my hobbies, for me is a hobby that kept me awake during several nights playing it when i was at college, yes, its a game, but not a regular game, it is, a strategic game which is called Starcraft. this game was revolutionary at that time, its made by a company called Blizzard, known today for 1 of the greatest games ever created, World of Warcraft. coming back to Starcraft, this is a game that put Blizzard on the map and created a concept that today raises up to 1-2 Billion dollars a year, e-sports. Starcraft was a game that was better to be played agains someone else, a real person, because will bring different strategies to the plate, like chess...." how about this opening?thanks for the feedback Jose

Hi Jose, I love how you explained your won interest. I'm not a gamer, I know nothing about these games, and by reading it I got curious to find out more :) What you do is you connect something that we consider fun and leisure, like computer games, and connect it to benefits in real life. That's a great way to connect people to it, and it's also authentic beacuse that's really how you feel.  So what I would do, I would stick to that point. The audience doesnt' care about how much you slept and what you did in college, because they don't know you. They do care if you can teach them a way to learn new life skills through fun and play. So I would start with that to get their attention.  Here are some suggestions: 1. You could start by showing how they can improve their lives: "Imagine there would be a way to learn how do manage your finances (something that nobody likes to do) through a computer game? So there is!" 2. Start with a question they can resonate with: "Do you ever with there was a way to play video games and learn new life skills? this is what I found in strategic games". Then you can tell you own story.  3. You can start with the story of the Korean gamer who helped the military.  Of course, these are suggestions, feel free to be creative beacuse it seems like you have a real connection to the topic. I can feel it just through the messages here and that's the most important thing.  Good luck! You're welcome to send me your work again.  Adi

Again, thank you so much for your feedback Adi, it is really good and with very good comments. probably there is information i can reuse and just change the "hook" phrases like, "imagine been able to.." or "have you wonder what happen if" , instead of going straight to the point perhaps? will think on something and post it here thanks againJose

Yes, exactly. That's a great way to get the audience thinking. It makes it personal. You're welcome, keep up the good work :)

Thanks Adi, looking forward to apply these wonderful tips and examples

Thanks Jose, keep up the good work!

I will start talking about my hobbie, then introduce the name of the game and start talking about Slayer Boxer, how the military team in South Korea requested him to teach them how to plan a battle in real life and how he became the first famous video gamer player in the world that was living out of it. Then how this help me picking my field of study because I started working with computers by myself.

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