Drawing for Personal Growth

Drawing for Personal Growth - student project

Hello beautiful beans! I really adored this workshop~ It definitely helped me open up on a couple of things and I hope to continue these practices in the future! Please enjoy my doodles.

I had a lot of fun with this one~ :)

My Style: I dress very bold and colorfully. I'm pretty much a kid at heart.

My Observations: I love to wander, explore, and take pictures of weird things I find along the way. I tend to see things in a colorful light. 

My Thoughts: If you're into astrology, I'm a Gemini moon- so I'm constantly at war with multiple perspectives. My thoughts tend to go in a million directions before I come to a solution. 

My Journey with Sexuality: I came out as gay this year, and it's been a long journey to acceptance. The seed represents my true self and the roots are all of my anxieties and preconceived notions before coming out. I decided to stay "buried" for so long because it felt 'safe' even though I knew subconsciously I wasn't being true to myself. Once I started to say it out loud, it got a little bit easier. I was warmly embraced by my friends and knew things were going to be okay. The falling petals represent things I had to let go of to move forward. I thought I was protecting myself by creating barriers but I finally realized that they were the thing that was holding me back. The flower represents my full growth, acceptance, and finally becoming the person I was so scared to be all this time. 

My Spirit: I've always been told I have a good spirit, or I'm a "sunshine friend". My light is what I bring to the people around me which makes me so happy. I'm the yellow dot with a rainbow trail. The blue and green dot represent the people I try to bring up with me.

My heart: Same idea as my spirit. I tend to radiate positivity and kindness. Sometimes even just being with the right people makes my heart flutter.

My Quirks: I was very quiet in high school from what I remember. I isolated myself because I feared once people got to know me, they would find me annoying or weird so it was easier to stay in a bubble. Now that I've grown up and am living on my own, I'm finally starting to embrace my quirks. I realized they are what makes me unique and it's okay to embrace those elements about yourself. The right people will love you for it! 

My humor: When I laugh really hard, I usually feel my ears turn bright red first, then it quickly radiates to my face, then my entire body. 

My Connections with Others: I am an empath which means you can feel the emotions of the people around you so to speak. When I'm in deep conversation with my best friend for example, it feels like we're connected on a spiritual level beyond explanation. It's the most wonderful feeling in the world.

I'm actually fairly comfortable looking at myself in the mirror so it was hard to come up with fears this way but I finally got a few things down.

To give a brief explanation, I've been looking for a job and have been feeling very overwhelmed. Am I supposed to stay here in LA? Am I good enough to be an artist here? Most of my fears are in this bluish gray color- and cloudy.

I've always been able to describe anxiety as TV static and it's one of my favorite things to doodle so I took that opportunity. lol But occasionally my anxiety will feel like my heart is in a cage or my mind is clouded making it difficult to concentrate.  

I worry about love a lot~ (squiggle in the top left) which I know is a stupid thing to worry about because I'm so young- but I often feel "behind" because it took me so long to come out. 

I always worry about letting people down. (Red Splash) It feels like a quick jolt. I put a lot of pressure on myself to keep the people around me happy.  But other times I've let myself down by procrastinating something to the last minute and get anxiety ridden about the task I still haven't done. I'm aware this worry is completely within my control. There's no excuse for it. I just need to work on being more consistent, and figure out why I have built this wall around myself when it comes to doing certain tasks.

I really loved this exercise. I've never thought about feelings in this way. 

Comparing the two- In my "ideal world" the people I surround myself with will always be very important to me so this includes having a life partner and good friends. I'm lucky enough to say I have wonderful friends who have become my family already. "Friends" is in a light blue color because that's a color that feels safest to me. I believe friendship is the purest form of love- so that's also what the color represents.

In my current world, I'm young and love my independence- but it's also very scary and uncertain. I don't know what my future holds. I don't know what kind of job I'm going to get- if I'm going to make it as a creative, and if I'll ever find a life partner. So that's why those colors came out very faint and pale. Because I can't even grasp a picture of what that will look like. 

What stood out most to me is I always want to stay curious and have a desire to create- but once I've gained enough experience I want to be able to teach others and become a creative leader. That's something that will come with time and I'm excited for it. 

Lately I've really felt like I've been in a creative rut but taking classes/workshops on Skillshare has helped me a lot. I also try to go to museums and walk around new places to regain inspiration. I've been working on setting aside creative time each day instead of just working sporadically or when I feel like it because consistency is so important in pursing any craft. 

My two best friends are in the top left- I didn't mean to be super literal with it but I love doing caricatures. I feel like I've found a chosen family and it's such a beautiful feeling.

 

As I said above, I've grown a lot this year. I felt myself change as I became the person I was always meant to be and it's wonderful.

 

I'm a second generation Italian American. My family sacrificed so much for me so I could have an education and live a better life. I try to think about that every day. I have an education, and I know my grandfather is proud. But something I didn't realize is that it's okay to not have all the pieces right now. I used to think of the "career ladder" as a straight line up but there are a lot more twists and turns to it and it's all totally normal! I just have to live more in the moment because I know one day it'll come together.

 

~ I loved this workshop so much! Thanks for reading, and looking at my art.~

Welcome to my colorful world!