Hi all,

Logline is in the picture attached. Below is the Five Act structure. I would love to get some feedback !

I apologize if my English is sometimes awkward or incorrect, it is not my first language.

(And while I'm here, thanks for this course, greatly enjoyed it !)

 

ACT ONE - SET UP :

We see the protagonist (20 years old male) at home with his older brother, and later working as a clerk in a gas station.

We can see that he’s avoiding any kind of conflict, and that people (his brother, his boss, customers) look down on him, or are even rude to him.

 

TURNING POINT 1 - INCITING INCIDENT :

The protagonist receives a call from his brother, who just attempted to rob a convenience store.

The brother is wounded, hiding in a backyard, with the police looking for him and surrounding the area.

The brother asks the protagonist to come get him with his car.

 

ACT 2 - EXPERIMENT :

The protagonist goes to his brother’s rescue. He manages to talk his way through the police checkpoint, to go unnoticed to the backyard where his brother is hiding, and to finally reach him.

The brother climbs into the car boot, and they’re on their way.

 

ACT 3 - CONSEQUENCES :

After seemingly succeeding to escape the area, the car gets stopped at an unexpected police checkpoint.

The protagonist tries and fails to talk their way out of it. The brother then shoots one of the policemen and is shot dead by another.

The protagonist manages to force his way through the checkpoint but crashes the car a few moments later.

 

ACT 4 - DISASTER :

Shocked by both the crash and his brother’s death, the protagonist leaves his car and starts running through houses and backyards in search for some shelter. We hear police sirens in the distance, coming closer.

 

TURNING POINT 2 - CRISIS :

The protagonist ends up in someone’s backyard and hides in the tool shed. From there he can hear policemen shouting all around him.

He looses all hope and starts crying.

 

ACT 5 - CLIMAX & RESOLUTION :

The protagonist hears a car pulling in next to the tool shed : a man and two kids, the family who lives there.

The protagonist gets out of the tool shed, armed with some sharp tool he found in the shed. He takes one kid as a hostage, and tells the man to drive him out of town, while he hides in the car boot with the man's son. The other kid is to ride as a regular passenger.

The plan works. Once out of town, the protagonist leaves the family on the side of the road and goes away in their car.