The Ultimate Wedding Guide

1. Ultimate Wedding guide Intro: Would you love to plan your wedding without the stress, One that all your friends and family are left raving about for years to come? Hello, I'm Matthew. I've been in the wedding industry for over 10 years, working as a magician and magical toastmaster. In that time, I've worked with hundreds of couples who all want to make their day, one to remember. I've also worked with hundreds of venues and wedding supplies in the process. This video series is the ultimate collection of all the tips, tricks, and advice I've picked up along the way to help couples like you avoid the mistakes and plan the ultimate wedding. Things as simple as creating a wedding email, how to stay organized with a wedmin, budgets, and invites all the way through to finding the right entertainment and what to ask your wedding venue. There's a whole section on design and even how to deliver a great wedding speech with confidence. But I wanted to make this video series the best it could possibly be. So I sat down and interviewed a host of wedding experts, all sharing their top tips and advice. You'll hear from an award wedding venue manager, wedding planner, florist, musician, DJ, photographer, all sharing their best advice to help you plan the ultimate wedding. This series is jam-packed with golden nuggets. Whether you're newly engaged or your wedding is just weeks away, there is something here for you. I've broken the series up into bite-size chunks, so you can skip ahead to the lessons as they become relevant. The project is to complete your wedding planner, ready to hand over to the organizer for the big day. By the end of this course, you'll have all the knowledge you need to plan the ultimate wedding. Let's begin. 2. Wedmin - Set-up & save time: [MUSIC] First up is wedmin. Now, love it or hate it, we have to create some kind of a system that we can rely on to stay organized. Planning a wedding is a big project and it's very easy to turn into a hot mess with notes on our phone, photographs, screenshots, 100 tabs open on our computer, brochures, bits of paper notes, all of this stuff can just become strewn everywhere across multiple devices. The best thing to do is to keep everything in one place. There are three things that is worthwhile setting up, the first one is creating a wedding-specific email. What I mean by this is an email which is just used for your wedmin. Now the beauty of this is you both have access to that email and anything to do with the wedding gets sent to that email. When you're speaking to a supplier or you're speaking to somebody that's going to send you some wedding information, you use only that email, and at the end of the day, once your wedding is complete, everything is done, you can then delete the email account and you won't receive any spam, the project is done as well over. Create something like johnandjoan2024wedding@gmail.com. It's very easy, it's something quite long, make sure you both know it and you're using that when you're communicating with suppliers. The second thing to set up is a Word document. Now there's one reason for doing this and this is to keep all of your screenshots and notes and ideas and things you just throwing out there as you're collecting ideas and all this kind of stuff, it needs to stay in one place. Because if you've got half of your stuff for your phone, half of it on a laptop and half of it on bits of paper, it's very difficult to keep everything together. When it comes to doing your wedding planning, you want everything in one place. The other thing is to create a Word document, and you can create two of them, one of them could be called a brain dump, and the other one can be called the actual plan, for example. The idea behind brain dump is you're taking all of those ideas as you're collecting them and throwing them into a Word document. If you've got a screenshot of something, send it into the email, send it into the Word document, do whatever, but keep it all in one place so then you can go through that brain dump go, okay that's one bit we need to discuss. Thought as you discuss it, you can take it over to the actual plan, and then from that point onwards, you can start making decisions based on whether you actually want to do that idea or to follow that supplier up. Or if you decide not to then you can delete it and it's gone from the system. You have one called brain dump, one called the actual plan and you can work side-by-side using just two simple Word documents or two folders, but don't make it too messy would be my advice. The third thing is to create some kind of an Excel sheet. How do I spell this? Excel, there is a C. It's quite an Excel sheet to keep track of your budget. It's very easy for couples to go over their wedding budget. To set a bit of a joke really in the wedding industry because to be fair, you only get married once, hopefully in your life, and understanding how much things cost and getting a grasp of just the amount of things that you'd like to book on your wedding day, it can just blow out of proportion very, very quickly. Creating a budget and having an idea of how much you can actually spend on your wedding, and maybe going out there having a discussion with a few venues, a few caterers, photographers, and just getting an idea of how much things cost, it can quickly go into the tens of thousands of pounds, just to give you a heads up. Create a budget of something you can actually afford over the time span that you're planning to get married. Creating an Excel sheet will keep you from going over budget and it will also show you where your money is going. Here's the three main things that you need in order to start planning a wedding and doing it deliberately with some organization. There are three ways you can do this, the first one is to go analog, get yourself a binder, call it wedmin, buy yourself a bunch of plastic sleeves and you can keep stuff like business cards, notes and you can print up pieces of paper, chuck it all in the same binder, buy yourself some dividers, and you're good to go. Whenever your doing wedding planning, you grab the binder, open up your emails, and you're done. You can also keep your budget sheets in here as well rather using Excel if you'd prefer to go more analog that's one way of doing it. The other way of doing it is by using your computer, setting up a folder called the wedding plan. Having two folders in there or two Word documents, one called brain dump and one called the actual plan. Brain dump is where your ideas go, the actual plan is where you start filtering things from brain dump into there as you start making decisions, and finally using an Excel spreadsheet. Just keeping everything all in one place. As you thought with an idea or your phone, or you take a picture of a business card, you can just throw it in there. Now the third way to do this is by using an app called Notion. Now with this bare-bones Notion is a note-taking app. You can sign into it, create multiple folders, and keep track of lots of notes in there. For example, you could have one page called suppliers and keep track of all of your suppliers, who you want to contact, who you are, invoices to, etc. That's one page. The second page could be called guest list, keeping track of who's RSPVD, who hasn't, who needs following up, who's choosing what meal to have, etc? You have a third page called theme, you could throw all of your photos and ideas that you've screenshot on your phone, that can all go into that page. It's just a way of organizing your ideas all in one place. Whenever you open up Notion, you go into your wedding planning folder and everything is in there on lots of different pages. I personally use Notion to run my business and any projects that I've got going on both professionally and personally. It's a really great bit of kit. The advantages to it are you can access it using your phone, your computer, or your tablet, and it updates instantaneously. If you can both be working on the same document at the same time and it will update for both of you as long as you're connected online. Another advantage is you can give other people certain access. If you've got a wedding planner that you'd like to have a look and review your plan, they can make comments. They can also make edits so you can change their permissions, and you can basically give the link out to certain important pages to your guests. If you just want to see one page which is maybe your RSPV, or for them to select what meal they'd like for the wedding day. You want to do that online, you can do that using Notion quite easily. Again, you can keep it as simple or as complex as you like. I've actually created a template especially for this video series so if you're interested in getting that we spent a little time making it as good as possible, that'll be available at the link below. To recap, the first three things you want to set up is a wedding-specific email, some kind of a Word document to keep track of all your ideas and your plans, and an Excel spreadsheet, something to keep track of your budget and where you're spending your money. You could do that either by going analog using a binder. You can go on your computer, set up a few folders on there with a few Word documents in an Excel spreadsheet. Or you can go with something like Notion and set it up on there as well. That brings us to the end of wedmin. 3. What matters most? - One thing each: [MUSIC] What matters most? I think this is a really important question that couples often forget to ask themselves. Once you've answered this question, I think it gets you both on the same page and it also makes decision-making a lot easier because you have a foundation in order to make those decisions. I've reduced this down to five or six questions that should help get you on your way. The first one is, how do I want my guests to feel? That can affect your choice in music, and the choice in format, and the choice in entertainment that you book. The second question is what do I want them talking about? Now, to get them talking about your wedding day is quite easy. You seem to think of a few things that stand out on the day, and it really depends down to personal taste and what you want people to be talking about your day that will govern what way you spend that money. If you want them talking about how much fun they had, then looking at the entertainment and spending more of your budget on entertainment. If you want them talking about how beautiful the room looks, then spending more on decor and flowers and all that good stuff. Really thinking about what you want them talking about can govern where your budget is spent and how much of that budget is spent on those things, which is the same thing. The third thing is what do I want to avoid? Thinking of things that you definitely do not want on your wedding day and both of you sharing that list with each other, you might find some clashes that you might need to compromise on. Thinking about what we want to avoid can be really useful question to ask yourselves as well. The next question is, what do I remember most from the last wedding I was at? This can really help with getting an idea of what guests actually remember from a wedding. I've never heard anybody say, I went to Jimmy and Jones wedding and oh my god, their wedding cake was amazing. I've never heard somebody make that statement. I've heard people make statements about music, about something funny that happened and the people that were there, the stories that were told, potentially amazing fireworks or an entertainer that was particularly stand out on the day. But generally speaking, they're not going to be talking about your table favors unless they really are amazing. I've never heard anybody talking about table favors from a wedding day. It really gives you an idea of what you actually remember from our wedding will probably be a good idea of what other guests will remember about yours. What was bad about the last wedding? Now it's probably a friend or a family the last one you went to, but thinking about what you didn't like from that day can be really useful in narrowing down what you're going to be booking and what you want to avoid for your day. Just thinking about a few weddings I was at, what did I not like about those days or what did I feel wouldn't suit me on those days? Asking yourself those questions can be really useful too. What was good about the last weeding? What things that you want to steal and pinch from those or ideas that you want to get from those weddings that you can also utilize on your day can also help make some decisions. If you really like to table favor that they had and you want to do the same thing, then tick that decision has been made. You're golden, you can move on to the next thing. The last question which I think is a really good one to ask both of you, is what one one do I really want? I think it's a nice idea that both of you get one thing that you get a definite yes. When it comes to all the other decisions you can make compromises on, but what's the one thing you do not want to compromise on and you definitely want on your day? I think that's a really nice way of finishing this video, is asking yourselves that one question. It can really help give you an idea of what's really important to both of you and asking all the questions can really help narrow things down and hopefully bring you both on the same page. [MUSIC] 4. Budget - Keeping track: [MUSIC] The wedding budget, definitely not the most exciting part of planning a wedding, but it is one of the most important, is understanding how much you can comfortably afford to spend on your wedding day. Notoriously, couples are spiraling out of control and going over budget because they either didn't budget earlier on or they just fell in love with so many things they just thought, okay, we'll get a loan and we'll be paying this off for the next five, 10, 15 years. If you don't want to be doing that, then definitely sit down before you do anything else and figure out what your budget is. It's very easy. If you've got your wedding happening in a year's time or two years time, sitting down and figuring out how much you can comfortably save each month over a period of two years, and that's the budget you've got, roughly. If you figure out that you've fallen in love with the venue and that doesn't quite match up to the budget, then maybe pushing your wedding back another six months or another year might help you manage the expense of the wedding day better. What I'd hate for you to do is to start looking at suppliers, decor companies, and venues that you then fall in love with, and then you do the maths on the budget and you realize that's taken up 80 percent of our budget, we're going to have to scrimp and save on food and drink. Maybe we can't get the installment we wanted and start having to make cuts in places where you don't really want to be making cuts because there are so many components that go together in making your wedding day. Something that you love, but also something guests love, it's not all about the venue and it's not all about one single component, it's about everything coming together. Figuring out your budget early on is highly recommended. At the end of this video series is going to be a bonus section and I'll be making a video on top money-saving tips, so you probably want to check that out as well. 5. Venue, Date & Wedding officiant: Next up is finding your venue, booking your date and your wedding efficient. The first thing you want to consider is the style of venue you're going for. This goes back to what matters most so do both want to get married in a barn type of venue, a castle, a manor house. There's a plethora of different places to get married nowadays, but finding something that fits you both is probably the first decision you want to make. The next thing is looking at your budget. How much have you got to spend on your wedding venue? This will help narrow down your search once again. The third thing to consider is the location. Do you want to get married close to your home to make it easy for yourselves, or do you want to get married in a location which is closer for the majority of your guests? Considering where the majority of your guests will be traveling from, especially elderly relatives, are you going to be arranging accommodation for them, it's something to consider if it's far away from their home. Once you've got to all those under our belt, the next thing to consider is, does the venue want accommodation attached to it or do you want accommodations being hotels and things away from the venue. The other thing to consider, although not a necessity, there are some venues that have additional accommodation available for close family members and elderly guests to make that trip a lot easier and manageable for them. The next thing think about is the number of guests you have in attendance. We'll come to the guests this later on down the line, but it turns to an onion, and there's almost like close friends and family then like cousins and then workmates and then social clubs and can get quite wildly out of control quite quickly. Having an idea of how many guests you want to be on your wedding day, it gives you an idea of the size of venue that you'll be looking at. You can go for something which maybe has a 200 person capacity and you fall in love with that venue, however, if you're only inviting 60 guests, then that space is going to look pretty empty in comparison to the photos that you might be seeing on their website. Whereas at full capacity and feels, so full and vibrant, having just 60 guests in a 200 person space will feel quite sparse so just have that in the back of your mind. Another thing on that point is some venues will have a minimum person spend, so even though you're only having 60 guests and their capacity is 200, they might have 100 person or 150 person minimum spend on the venue. You're essentially spending money, almost double the money over double the money on the guests you'll be inviting. To have that in the back of your mind as well and asking those questions for your wedding venue is worthwhile. Once you have all of those things checked off the list, we can then start going on to Google and doing a bit of a search. For example typing in wedding venue barn Cambridge will bring up a list of venues available in that area. Starts short listing them you can quite quickly start looking at venues, size, capacity, the ones that you like, the look of, you might get down to maybe three or four. Put those in your shortlist and then you can start arranging viewings and getting more information, looking at brochures to get an idea of what is offered, more packaged deals they have, etc. This brings me on to the second part, which is looking at what season you get married and what day you get married. Depending on the season will depend on how much a venue will charge for that particular day, for that particular time of year. For example spring and winter weddings tend to be slightly cheaper than summer and autumn weddings it's not always the case, sometimes there's a premium on different seasons of the year depending on what type of venue you're going for and the location of that venue. But considering that there are cheaper times a year may help you get more towards the dream venue that you want rather than trying to have something in the summer, you can make that compromise having something later on in the year. Another thing to consider having a wedding later in the year, you get nicer sunsets and you get a few more photos earlier or in the day, just something to throw in there. The next thing to consider is the day you're getting married. Getting married on a Friday, Saturday, or Sunday tends to be more expensive than getting married midweek, Monday to Thursday. Again, if you've got a dream venue and the day doesn't matter to you guys then getting married midweek, you can save a few pennies on the venue hire there. Once you've found your venue and you've booked your wedding day, the next thing to hire is your marriage efficient. This would be the person that will be marrying you on the day, so it depends on the style of wedding or the religion that you follow. One question to ask them is, are there any restrictions around the ceremony? Things like the use of photography, flash photography, confetti in the ceremony space, things like this. Some wedding efficient, don't like the use of photography during the ceremony, I think it's a real shame and it can be quite disappointing for couples when they find out a few months down the line after the fact. Do ask that question upfront to make sure you avoid disappointment. There we go. I hate for you to be disappointed later down the line. That's everything to do with venues, date, and booking your marriage efficient. 6. Venue open days - Checklist: [MUSIC] Next up, our venue viewings and open days. It's really a good idea to go along with a set of questions that you might have in mind, to ask the venue, such as latest closing hours, opening times, any restrictions on confetti, fireworks, additional lighting, certain dressings that maybe you can't change the room. Some of these spaces are listed buildings, and you can't make certain changes to them, so it's worth asking the question upfront to avoid disappointment further down the line. While you're there, get an idea for what the staff are like as well. Do you get along with them? Do you vibe with them? Do you share a sense of humor? Once you've booked your wedding venue, you're going to be working alongside the venue organizer leading up to and on the actual day of the wedding. If you don't get along with these people then you can just cause more friction and make the whole planning process a lot more stressful. Try to find a venue that a, you fall in love with, but also be mindful of the people that are working there and they're going to be taking care of you in your wedding journey. It can really make a difference into how enjoyable that experience is. Do pay attention to that. Finally, just have fun. Go along to these things. Sometimes if there's an open day, there might be some entertainment, some nibbles and drinks and things. Have some fun with it and enjoy your venue search experience. 7. Invites - Who, How & When: [MUSIC] Invites. There are lots of different ways you can invite your guests and there are a lot of ways you can collect responses. You can use email, you can use a WhatsApp group. You can send away personalized stationery and get it asked for a postal response. You can use a Google capture form or an online website. There are lots of different ways to do this. I highly recommend you choose one and stick with it. It's very easy, it's turning into a hot mess with lots of different invites, some responses coming from different places, and keeping track of them all, it just turns into a bit of a nightmare so asking guests to respond in one way, is why I would recommend. There are a few different things that you need to put on your invites, so you got the invites up here. The first thing you need is the date. Make sure it's the correct date. Double-check, triple-check the dates on your invite. If you get that wrong, you have to spend a lot of money and there's a lot of logistics involved in correcting that. Get your date book, Tim. I have it confirmed and stick it in the invite. The next thing is the time, arrival time. Remember what I said in a previous video, which is the fib, tell a bit of a lie to your guests and say the ceremony time is 15 minutes earlier than it actually is. This will make sure that no guests miss out and nobody turns up too late hopefully. Next is the location. The location gives people an idea of where it's going to be, but also how much travel time is involved in that. If it's abroad or if it's quite far away, they need to make that call and that decision as to whether they can make it on the day and whether they can afford overnight accommodation which brings me on to the next thing, which is if it is in a location where some guests that can be traveling quite a distance is to include some accommodation. Usually, a venue will have some deal with a local hotel, or a local bnb, or whatever for accommodation. Do speak to your venue about that. They might have some deals going on. Or if you're booking your venue with accommodation on-site, they'll tend to have some deals with the amount of rooms booked as well. Include accommodation options for your guests too, and prioritize that accommodation to guests who are traveling from further afield and also elderly guests that might not be able to do quite as much traveling as the youngsters might. Date, time, location, accommodation. Next up is dress code. I can spell here. That says code by the way. Giving guests an idea of what they should wear on your wedding day, just reassures them that they're not going to turn up overdressed or underdressed. If you go for black tie, then say cocktail dresses and black tie. If you're going for a smart casual, then say smart casual, but just let guests know how they're expected to dress on the day, just to make sure they all fit in. Next up is the meal options. If you have spoken to your venue about the meal options then it's worth including this on your initial invites if you can. Sometimes you have to do this in two lots. The first invite will be, can you come or not? The second invite might be a meal option. You can do the first one using really fancy stationery and get those responses. The second one can be as simple as a WhatsApp group or a Google form online, just to keep everything organized. But if you can't get your meal options in the first one, then go for it. You're hitting two birds with one stone. If you have option A, B, or C, one is the chicken, one is the beef, and one is the vegetarian option for example. Next up, underneath the meal options and attached to it, are any dietary requirements. Up at diet. I just make spelling easier for me. But dietary requirements really important nowadays with not allergies, and other allergies, and other intolerances just making the venue aware of who has them, how many meals to make. It's just worth getting that in as well because you will be asked that question by your venue or caterer at some point. You're just making sure of where you stand with all your guests is really important. The final one is how to respond. How to respond, very important. You want them all to go to the same place. If it is, scan this QR code and choose your options online, you've got to go super techie with it, go for it. If it is as simple as WhatsApp me your response yes or no to this number, then that's another way of dealing with it. Another one might be email, a postal response, whatever it is, make sure all of them are going to the exact same space. Otherwise, it just gets messy. That's the whole point of this lesson really is just to stay organized with your invites and how to go about them. That's pretty much everything as far as invites go. There is a really neat trick that a friend of mine, a wedding planner, Haley Evans has from major wedding and events. In fact, I'll let her deliver this message to you now. Isn't that a fantastic tip? Some people might find it a little bit too harsh, but it's up to you to soften it or make it sharp as you'd like to get those responses in. The whole point behind that little trick is the nudge people to go, I really have to deal with this right now because I don't want to seem ruined. That's what makes it so beautiful. It will get responses. It's a great little hack to make sure all of your guests have responded promptly if they're going. That brings it to the end of invites. In a nutshell, include all the important details. Try and get as much information on there as possible. Have one place to collect all of your responses to stay organized. 8. Format & TImings - Overview: Next up is the format and the timeline. What this does is it gives us a zoomed out view of the day and it helps us visualize the experience that you're going to have, but also the experience of the guests as well. Now, bear in mind, I'm going to be basing this timeline on what I'm most familiar with, which is a traditional British wedding. I have worked at Jewish weddings and Indian weddings also. They have slightly different timings and a few different bits and pieces, but overall, the format is very similar. Hopefully, there'll be something of value in this but the main takeaway from this video is to create a timeline for you to focus on. It helps you divide the day up into easily managed bite-sized chunks. Very easily, get yourself a piece of paper or create a bullet-pointed list. We're going to start. We're going to have a finish time of midnight because that typically seems to be the time the party ends, either 11:30, to finish time the venue needs to start packing up. Some venues do have an additional hour. You can book at a premium, but we're going to use midnight just as a arbitrary finish time. The first thing is guests arrival. After guests arrival, there's the ceremony. Who knows what happens there. After the ceremony is the reception drinks. We then have a wedding breakfast, which is the meal. Then you have the speeches. After speeches, we have evening guests arrival, if you're having evening guests arrival. Then after that we have the cake; cutting of the cake and first dance. Then the rest is just party time. From here to here is just a party, which is why we're all going, right? Now, this has mapped out the day. This immediately helps us visualize what the day is going to look like. Even without putting timings on this, we've divided the day up into 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 parts. Now, we can start focusing on individual parts, and it makes the whole decision-making process a lot more manageable and easy to digest. Hopefully, this has given you an idea of a timeline and what timeline should look like. I know it seems very simple but I've spoken to a number of couples and like speaking to you, we didn't have any idea what the day was going to look like. Spending 30 seconds to a minute just going over the timeline really curves in these key moments throughout the day and it makes the decision-making process so much easier. 9. Format & Timings - The Details: [MUSIC] This is a typical timeline. The next thing to consider is how early to start because the earlier you start, the more guests will be flagging in energy by the end of the day. If you want them to be really up for a party and all for it then start your ceremony time a little bit later in the day. If you want to make the most of seeing guests that have traveled from far and you want to get loads of photos in, and you just want to have a really casual time and guests can go away halfway through the day and come back for the party then have an earlier ceremony time and spend more time during reception drinks. I would say on average the majority of weddings I go to guests don't tend to have a break. When they do it's at a venue which has lots of accommodation and guests are expected to book a room in the hotel or venue wherever they're having the wedding so it's just something to bear in mind. My advice would be to start a little bit later on in the day just so you have more energy for the party later on and also you can get more out of the morning by looking forward to the ceremony, getting ready, and having those pre-ceremony shots with your photographer as well. That's just my personal opinion. Let's say guest arrival is one o'clock, so we'll go on PM. From guest arrival to the ceremony time, half an hour is advisable. I would say this is the only time that you should lie to your guests and say that the ceremony time is 15 minutes earlier than it actually is. If you don't want guests to miss the ceremony then just lie to them a little bit and just say it's 15 minutes earlier maybe up to half an hour earlier. I have been to a couple of weddings more than enough where guests have either been late, haven't made it, or got caught in traffic. There was one occasion where the guests were staying in a hotel, they were getting coachloads in, one or two guests were late for the coach. They made the entire coachload of guests late and they missed the ceremony so the bride wasn't too pleased with that as you can imagine, so just fibbing to guests and letting them know that it's 15 minutes earlier than it is, just gives you a bit of a lay way, a bit of a buffer for time to make sure everyone's going to be there, that you want to be there. So we're going to say the guest arrival is at 1:00 PM, this will be the actual timeline. The guests arrive at 1:00 PM we have the ceremony at, let's say 1:30. Serving usually takes half an hour and if the ceremony and the reception drinks are happening on the same site, then allow half an hour for the ceremony. If you're having a different type of ceremony then allow for that, but do speak to your venue organizer, they will know the timings much better than anybody else because they work at the venue with certain suppliers. They've got a much clearer idea of their timeline, but this is to give you a typical wedding day that I'm used to. So 1:00 PM, ceremony is 1:30. We then have reception drinks, if the ceremony is half an hour that brings us onto 2:00 PM. Now reception drinks; The longer these are the hungrier the guests get and don't kid yourselves in thinking that the canape is going to fill them up and the drinks are going to be enough. An hour and a half is about the right sweet spot for any number of guests. I think if you've got 200 guests they can get away with two hours, but if you've got anything less than that then an hour and a half is the sweet spot. Imagine having 50 guests hanging around for two hours, it's just not great. Unless what you want on the day is to have people super relaxed, chilled, comfortable, chatting, but do bear in mind they're going to be hungry and just don't kid yourselves that the canape is going to be enough food to tide them by. For some reason wedding guests don't eat before the wedding day either because they need to get ready, they are going to make themselves look as good as possible so they don't tend to get food for whatever reason. Also they're anticipating food on the day so you should be looking after them. But an hour and a half is a sweet spot. Reception drinks, that brings us to 3:30. Guests get called to the meal, [NOISE] then there's a 15-minute gap for guests to actually take their seats and then for you to make your entrance, so the meal won't start until 3:45. Basically so I'll put 3:45 just done here because I've mentioned it, we'll put, service starts here. Depending on the number of guests you have, the venue, how many courses you're going for as well, it can all vary in how long this meal section of the day happens. The wedding breakfast typically it's between two hours and two and a half hours. It doesn't tend to take longer than three unless you've got particularly slow service and a lot of guests so I'll build in two and a half hours for this just to be on the safe side. We have, that is 6:15. That's when your speeches will be happening so the toasting drinks go out, at that point the first speech is introduced or the first person doing the speech stands up. Speeches go under away. When it comes to speeches timings can vary massively. If somebody has written their speech and they're reading it out loud with a timer at home it might be a seven-minute speech, but when it comes to performing that or delivering that to the wedding party it does get stretched out much longer. "I've been told my speech is only five minutes, my speed is only 10, seven," it ends up turning into an hour quite quickly. So I would say doubling whatever times you get from the best man or anybody doing speeches, just double the time and you'll be safe within that. Because you have to allow for ad-libs, heckles, people being a little bit drunk, these things happen, so things don't happen quite as planned prior so double up your speeches, but I'd say typically speeches are 45 minutes if I was to pick a sweet spot. I've been to some speeches that have been an hour and a half, some have been just 15 minutes long. So it really depends on who's doing the speeches, but as a ballpark figure 45 minutes is about right, which brings us to seven o'clock. This is when your evening guests will start arriving. It's for about 6:30-7:00, so it wants to be during the speeches-evening guests arrival time, goes overlap because you want to have a number of guests to start filling up the bar area before the guests are let out of the wedding breakfast space so just let them start to mingle into each other and start to brew in numbers during the speeches in the bar. Hope that makes sense. Speeches into evening guests arrival, seven o'clock. During this I would say, telling your evening guests to arrive at 6:30 because there's an half an hour fashioned for anybody to be late to business, at least here in the UK. I know in other cultures people are much later but here in the UK about half an hour is a sweet spot. So I'd say telling your evening guests to start arriving from 6:30 we'll have the majority of them there by seven which then lines you up for the cutting of the cake and the first dance for about 7:45. If you want to allow space there for your photographers take you out for 20 minutes to get some sunset shots, some shots around the venue you're in and just go for those arty shots that couples really love, so allowing some time there and also some time to take a bit of a breather to yourselves and just enjoy the day as a couple. Depending on the photographer, sometimes going out with the photographer they'll encourage you just to do your own thing and they'll catch those natural shots as you're walking around the grounds. We've got even guest's arrival, end of the meal starting from seven, then you've got cutting of the cake happening at 7:45, all being well. The cutting of the cake tends to go straight into the first dance, so there'll be a cutting of the cake which brings the either wedding organizer or if you've hired a Toastmaster on the day, will gather guests around the cake or the photographer even, if you've got a vocal top photographer, which I highly recommend inquiring, is your photographer prepared to manage guests and tell them where to go or when, really helps on the day. If not then using the ushers to your advantages and telling them to get all the guests around, give them jobs to do really helps too. You've got everyone gather around this cutting of the cake, you get your photos. Everyone's already got their mobile phones out there taking photos of you as a couple cutting the cake. Once that cake is moved off to the side goes straight into first dance. Sometimes this can change because your band hasn't arrived on time or they need to do a sound check and there's a room changeover period. Sometimes that's either, it could be as little as half an hour or it can sometimes be as long as an hour and a half, unusual, but it's around about 45 minutes is about sweet spot for having a room changeover, band or sound check, they've already set up, etc. I think 45 minutes is about right. Your evening guests arrival, cut the cake, first dance at 7:45, they are used into party period here. Now you've got about so from 8:00 PM, once the first dance is finished, 8:00 PM until midnight. That's a good four-hour period for guests to have fun, have a party, there's enough energy in four hours to have a pretty good night. If we were to start the ceremony at twelve o'clock that's a whole hour and a half earlier, so the cutting of the cake and first dance would be 6:15, which I think is a little bit too early. That's a long period of time for guests to be partying and going all out with the drinks and things. It's a long period for the evening guests as well. I think going to an evening party, you don't want to be there for half of a day is quite a long time, a six-hour period, including travel, it's a long time. So I think having a nice, dense party period is really worthwhile. See you. Hopefully this has given you a decent idea of what a typical wedding day will look like and the timeline. Make it suitable to you, to your venue, do speak to your wedding planner or your wedding organizer on the day, they'll have a much better idea of how the timings work at that particular venue. If you've just got a dry-higher venue then speak to a wedding planner or plan out your timeline nice and tightly. Do get some advice from other people, when you're speaking to your suppliers, to your band, to your photographers, to any other entertainment you've got that's going to be helping you on the day, it's worth speaking to them so you know typically, when would you work up until typically? How long is reception drinks typically? Just asking those questions can really help create a timeline that's suitable for you and that works with your suppliers. That's everything for Format and Timeline, essentially get everything down and turn it into bite-sized chunks. Have fun. 10. Suppliers - Find your people : [MUSIC] A quick word on suppliers are really wants to include this because I think it's really important to think of your wedding suppliers on the day as your wedding team. This includes everyone because together we're creating a day which is perfect for you. Now you can break this team up into two groups. There's the back-stage staff and the front of house staff. Back-stage are people that get there before all the guests before you're there and they're getting stuff ready for the day. These are people like your florist and your decor people. It's important you get along with them in the planning process, on the date as long as the place looks great. There's nothing else to consider. Whereas your front of house team are people like your wedding planner, your toast master, your videographer, photographer, entertainment, music, catering. These are people that are interacting, not just with you, but also with your guests and each other. It's really important to make sure that you're booking people that you get along with and that you vibe with. I think it's so important to avoid any level of stress throughout the day, so making sure that you vibe with these people is so important and making sure that they get along with each other. The best way to do this is to meet people in person if you can. If there's an open day or a wedding fair happening, then go in to those days, interacting with these people or having a bit of a chat is one way to do it. Another way is to arrange a coffee for half an hour or whatever. If you can't do that with some of the suppliers, they might do that or they might have a studio or a place where they work out of that you can go and visit. Do bear in mind suppliers are very busy people, so it's difficult to take an hour route to go and visit a particular client, is something I personally used to do and I ran out of time to be able to do it. The way I do with my clients is I go with a Zoom call. If they've not had a preferred supplier venue that I'm working at, and they can't attend the open day then I have a zoom call with them and have a bit of a chat. It's an opportunity just to build a bit of rapport, make sure that there's the vibe with these people and you get along with them, because if you don't, then it can make the whole day way more stressful. At the very minimum, have a phone call and then next up is a Zoom, and then next up from that is an in-person conversation just to make sure that you get along with each other and you're on the same page. The other thing to consider here is making sure that the suppliers on the day get along with each other. I think the two main people that can get on each other's nerves that I've experienced are videographers and photographers getting in each other's way. They're both there on the day to do a job which is to capture your day, but sometimes they can get in to each other shots and they can be a bit of a power struggle between I need to get the couple over here because I need to get this perfect shot in this location, at this venue, and the photographer will have a different mindset and they want to take them another way. You only have a finite amount of time to get those shots. Putting these two people in contact or even having a Zoom meeting with all three of you so you have a clear plan of what's going to happen avoids all that stress. It will also alleviate the stress and anxiety the photographer and the videographer might have prior to the wedding day going, I need to manage this. It's just good to get it all out in the open and say, this is the plan. The first thing is we go into this location for these shots, this location for these shots, sunset shots, done. Just sharing the time between the two I think it's really important to nip that in the bud early on. There you go. That's my $0.02 on wedding suppliers. 11. Photographers & Videographers: Photographers and videographers; I think there are three useful questions to ask. The first one is about style, do they fit your vibe? The second one is, have they went to the venue before, and the third one is can they work together? Starting with style, definitely go out there, go into Instagram, go onto Pinterest, go into Google, find local businesses and check out their work. Do they fit the style that you're looking for? Find out what you like and what you don't like. Someone are really arty, some like more natural shots and some go for more formal group shots. But definitely check that out and decide on a style, that's the first thing to get out of the way. The second thing is to find people in the area that you're getting married or local to you. A useful thing to ask your wedding venue or organizer is asking for recommendations or recommended supplier list. Generally speaking, finding a photographer that's worked at the venue previously, they'll know how the venue operates, already, and they'll know the best places for those shots so they can keep that time period that you have for your reception drinks as tight as possible so you have more time to spend with the guests. Hiring someone that's already familiar with the venue is a really useful thing to keep in mind. The third thing is, can they work together with each other? One thing I've come into over the years is occasionally there'll be a photographer and videographer that just they don't work well with each other. I can hear them moaning about each other when I'm speaking to them. The main issue is they get in each other's way. You've got a photographer trying to get photos in, and you've got a videographer at the same time trying to capture moments throughout the day, and they can often get their wires crossing, just get in each other's way. The videographer doesn't want a photographer in the shot taken photos, and likewise, the photographer doesn't want the videographer getting in the way. Making sure you hire two people that are going to be able to work with each other is really important. Now a way around this is there are lots of companies now that are providing both a photographer and a videographer, and this is really beneficial. Because again, it keeps that timeframe really tight, because they'll have a method of working that allows the photographer and the videographer to work in unison, but they won't be getting in each other's way because they are used to have each other work and they can communicate really effectively. If you get two different companies involved, then it can cause a little bit of friction and it can just take lot of time in order to over-communicate what each needs. I'm thinking of a company that does both is great. I would suggest finding a company that does both really well. Some companies have videographers kind of an add-on, so something that they can do, but it's not what they specialize in and likewise, you can have some videographer companies that have a photographer, which isn't their main thing, but they can do it. Finding somebody that can provide to the quality that you're happy with, I think is really important. Another route to go down is finding that if you find a photographer that you really fall in love with, then ask them, do you know any videographers that you regularly work with, that you'd be happy joininig you on the day and they can team up and that happens a lot as well. I've been to a lot of weddings where you've have two separate companies, but they work together a lot and that's just how they work. Those are the three main questions to ask. Once you've created a shortlist of photographers and videographers, I suggest the next thing you do is to arrange a Zoom call or a phone call at the very least, just to check in with them and see if you share a sense of humor and you've got the same vibe. The last thing you want is somebody here has really great work online, but when it comes to the day you feel uncomfortable around and you feel a little bit awkward and maybe you don't share the same sense of humor. Because they will be with you for the whole day and they'll be with your guests as well, do bear in mind when you're getting ready in the boudoir, will I be comfortable with this person around me taking photographs? Because if you wont, then it just adds another layer of stress that you really don't lead on the wedding day. So do have a Zoom call, have a phone call. If you can meet them in person on wedding fair or an open day or meet up for coffee, then that's definitely an added bonus just to see if you vibe with that person. The next thing to do is in those meetings is to ask them questions about how they work and also get a clear idea in your mind of what kind of shots you really want. Because the important shots are the ones you want to cover straightaway at the very early on in the day and get those checked off the list first and then anything else is a bonus. If you're really hell-bent on getting loads of group shots, then go for that and that's the first thing you're going to start out with and then the rest of them can be natural shots if there's enough time. The wedding day just goes in an absolute flash, it goes so fast, so communicating effectively with your videographer and photographer what you want and what you need from the day is really important. A lot of conversations I've had when I've spoken to these people is they've said the best clients, the ones that communicate really clearly what they're looking for and what they're not looking for. Getting that across is really useful for everyone involved. Do bear in mind if you do want lots of group shots or you've got lots of ideas for photos around the grounds, etc, then these things do take time, so do prioritize them for your videographer and photographer so they can manage the time effectively and give you a realistic idea of how long they'll need in order to get all that taken. One final tip is to make sure to get the group shot done after the ceremony is the perfect time to do it. Usually after the ceremony there is the confetti throw moment, and then guests go into reception drinks. While everyone is at the confetti throw moment, gather them together in a big group, your photographer or if you have a toastmaster should be able to do this and capture that moment while everyone's together. There's nothing worse than right before the wedding breakfast trying to heard everyone back together to get this group shot, because uncle Dave is in the toilets, aunt Sally has gone to her car to go and get something and there are people at the bar scattered everywhere. And believe me, it's almost like herding kittens on a wedding day. Get it done while everyone's together and you won't miss anybody out. As a side note, that is something else to consider, which is hiring a photographer who has the ability to shepherd guests and use their voice and be quite demanding while they're taking shots. Because if you don't have a photographer with a voice and you don't have a toastmaster to help, it can become very difficult to get the right people in the right places. Do consider that when you're booking your photographer too, you can ask those questions with your photographer in the meeting, definitely do that. Just get the general idea of what kind of a person they are. Checkout their stories on Instagram and you'll get an idea of how they work. But, yeah, that's always a useful thing to do. 12. Music - More important than you think: Onto music. There are three things to consider. The first thing is when to have it, the second is live music versus a playlist, and the third is a DJ versus a band. Now, starting with when? A lot of couples have the ceremony music and the evening reception planned out, but very few consider the reception drinks and between the causes of the meal. I really think that music plays an important role throughout the entire day. You only realize how loud awkward silence is when you're experiencing it. If you notice if you go into a shop where you go to a restaurant, there's always some background music playing and that's the fill in the awkward silence. If there's no conversation, it naturally comes to a close, it's just dead silent. It feels a little bit anxiety inducing for some and it can be a little bit awkward. Having something playing in the background just fills in that dead space. The ceremony, the reception drinks between the course of the meal and the evening reception are the four places where I live music really makes an impact. For Reception drinks, is probably the most awkward part of the day, is when you've got guests, they haven't seen each other for a long time or they might not know each other, so having something just to fill in that dead space really helps them out. Between the course of the meal in the wedding breakfast as well, just having something playing in the background. Either if it's an ambient track or somebody just playing some some gentle guitar or piano, just something playing in the background to fill in that space really helps create an atmosphere and a vibe in the room. Again, this ties into your style as well, going back to your questions of what really fits us as a couple? What do we want our guess to remember on the day? Music can really play an important role with this too. Those are the places when to have it. The next is to make the decision on whether you'd like to have live music versus a playlist, essentially. Now, the benefits of having a live musician playing in front of people, is it something that people can stop and watch and talk about and interact with? This is something that we would take photos of, comment on, and if you get a musician that has a bit of banter with the crowd and that's always useful as well, creates bit more of an atmosphere, and there's just a better energy when you have a live musician playing music in a space. It just fills it with a certain energy which a playlist on an iPhone or on Spotify playlist, it just can't compete with. If you can't accommodate a live musician within your budget, then definitely have something playing on a playlist at a bare minimum, really does make a difference. Again, this goes back to their finding your musician, just figuring out what your style is and what you'd like. If you'd like a string or text or a pianist playing something, or if you want something more upbeat, like a guitarist or a three-person band playing some music throughout reception, drinks and between the course of the meal, then go for that, it really does make an impact and a difference. Moving on to the evening reception, the next question you want to ask is whether you'd like to have a live band or a DJ. Now, I think hands down every single time a live band always wins. I think the amount of live bands that I've seen go down well, far outweighs the amount of DJs I've seen go down well. In fact, there's only one DJ that I recommend to any couple that are looking for one because he's the only guy that I've seen, fill the dance floor and really knows and understands how to play music, the right tracks at the right time. There's definitely a skill to being a DJ, and I've only got one guy that I recommend. But I think the benefits of having a live band is again, it builds atmosphere and a space and it creates some interaction with the crowd, and it's just more floor filling when you've got people already on the dance floor space. They're trying to attract people, they can push out energy whereas I think a DJ is very difficult for them to have that same skill set. They have to be a little bit more fine tuned as to what tracks are filling the dance floor, which ones aren't and so judging by the crowd and also your suggestions in your playlist and for your requests. I'm just trying to get that feeling right. I think I live band always outweighs a DJ. Again, when you're looking to hire these people, do check them out on their social media. See if they've got videos up there, if they're working a lot then you should be able to see their work. Is the dance floor full? Is it full throughout the evening or they're only showing the last song? Because on the last song, everyone has to be on the dance floor, so it's a good time to capture that video, so do check that out. If it's a live band, then go out and see them. Go watch their work live and have a chat with them afterwards, make sure you get along with them. Again, it always boils that back to a hiring the right people that are going to do the best job for you on your day and that you're happy with it and you vibe with because if you've got that connection, then it will feel better and you'll be able to communicate with them and it will just be a better experience for everyone involved. Considering when to have it. Reception drinks and the ceremony, between the course of the meal and evening reception, whether you want to go for live music versus a playlist. Live music will feel more energy in the room over a playlist, and a live band or a DJ, I'd go for a live band every single time just because of the energy it creates and the interaction with a crown. There we go. That's everything for music. 13. Entertainment - Being remembered: Next up is the entertainment. Now sometimes couples can leave the entertainment as an afterthought. What have we got left in the budget, we'll spend on the entertainment. I actually think that entertainment should be pushed right the way towards the higher end of the priority list. Because it's the thing that guests are going to be talking about, is the thing that adds color, energy, creates an atmosphere on the day, gives guess something to interact with and talk about. I think having entertainment as one of the top priorities after your venue, food and drink and the photographer, I would definitely start looking at your entertainment options. Entertainers do get booked up in advance. If you find an actor or somebody you'd love to have along on your day, then book them as quickly as possible because they will get booked up eventually. That out of the way, the next thing to consider is when to have the entertainment. There are three points of the day to think about, the first is reception drinks, the second is between the courses of wedding breakfast, and the last is the evening reception. Starting with reception drinks, this is probably the most awkward period of time for guests. It's just after the ceremony and they're left to their own devices with a drink and they need to find somebody they vaguely recognize and start a conversation. You've got two different families that maybe haven't met each other and a whole bunch of friends from different groups that maybe haven't met before. It's good to have something just to break the ice and get them chatting and create a talking point. There are many different things you can consider during this period to a caricaturist, a magician, garden games, the list is literally endless, type in wedding entertainment and you'll find an endless list of ideas, go onto Instagram or Pinterest do your research and see what you like the idea of, something that's guests can talk about and interact with. It just creates a better vibe and atmosphere, which can then lead into the wedding breakfast and throughout the rest of the day. Having something during your reception drinks, I think is really important. After reception drinks is the wedding breakfast. Now because you've designed the table plan, you've decided who's sitting where, so guest might not be sat with the same people they were with during the reception drinks. It's good to have something just to break the ice and create a talking point between the course of the mill, something like a caricaturist, table side magician or live music can really add atmosphere and a splash of color to this point in the day. Finally, the evening reception. If you have additional guests joining you for the evening, it's nice to have something to break the ice between day guests and the evening guests before the music and the party takeover the night. Again, a caricaturist, magician or a photo booth will do a great job of just integrating those two groups together, getting them relaxed, feeling comfortable with each other, and then the party can take over. As always, when thinking about booking your entertainment, they all could be interacting with you and your guests on the day, so making sure that you book the right person for you is really important. Get on the phone, get on a Zoom call and if you can meet these people in person all the better, make sure you share the same sense of humor and you vibe with them. Because if you don't, then it can just create a bit of an awkwardness on the day. Make sure you're booking the right person for you. As an additive, it's always worth asking you entertainment when they think they'll work best for your day. You can go over the details and what your vision is for the day, ask them where they'll work best and they can give you the best advice. They can also say whether they're the right person for you. They might also know another entertainer that could do a better job or if you're looking for something slightly different they'll also probably know a lot of other entertainers in the industry. It's always worth asking the question and asking for their advice too. 14. Design 1 - Room layout, flowers & lighting: [MUSIC] Next up is design. Now split this into two different sections. In this section, we're going to be covering the table layout, the flowers, and the lighting. Starting with table layout, there are four different styles. The first style is the most traditional, and it's the top table, which is then filled in with round tables for the guests. The top table is the father and mother of the bride and groom, best men and bridesmaid. There are two different types of top table to go for is either a straight table like this or you can go for a half-moon shape like this. Now the half-moon shape creates a bit more of a social way of sitting your top table so two people at the ends of the table can still see each other, and it's a bit more interactive. If you have the option for a half-moon shape, then I'd say go for it. The advantage of round tables for guests is it's the most interactive, most sociable way of putting guests at the tables. That's the first way. Now the second option to go for it's called a sweetheart table and this is where the bride and groom share a table just to themselves, and everybody else is at roundtables. If you have any awkward family dynamics to manage, then it's basically a great solution for that. The way it looks is just one small table for the bride and groom, everybody else is that roundtables. Now what this also does is it allows you both have some time to yourselves. You'll find that throughout the wedding day it just goes buying an absolute flash. You're being pulled pillar to post by the photographer, videographer say hellos and thank you's and having conversations with friends and family. It's like being a celebrity for the day. If you have your own table just for yourselves, that at least you have three courses to get through, sat next to each other, and you can absorb the day. What it also does is it encourages you to get up and have conversations with the tables and doing the rounds. I think that's a really lovely thing to do rather than being stuck at the top table feeling as if he should be managing the conversation at that table. If we just have a table to yourselves, you can get up, go to various tables, do the rounds, then come back and enjoy your food and enjoy the moments between yourself, which I think are really important to make the most of throughout the day. Another advantage to this is when it comes down to the speeches, it actually looks a lot tidier for the photos so either to the left side or the right side of the top table, which will be your sweetheart table. All speeches can happen in that space, and it just looks a little neater and tidier. Yeah, a sweetheart table is definitely something I'd recommend is the one that I prefer out of all four options. A third option to go for is going for all roundtables. If you don't like to be the center of attention, they can put yourselves at a round table, and then everybody else fits in the same space. If you'd still like to be the center of attention, then you can put yourselves right in the middle. Finally, the fourth option to go for is long tables. This is more of a medieval banqueting style. I think there's two downsides to this actually, the first is that they're quite cluster-phobic to sit at. Generally speaking, whenever I've worked with long tables, the guest seem to be quite tightly packed in, and you can only really talk to three people in front of you and two people either side. Whereas at a roundtable is a bit more of an even split between everybody else. Everybody can see each other without having to arch their neck around. I think that having roundtable towards much better than long tables and the second reason is when it comes doing the rounds as a couple, because everyone is so tightly packed in, it can be difficult sidestepping around service staff and around people getting up and down from the bar, going to the bathroom and that kind of thing. I would say that long tables would be at the bottom of my list personally, and they do look great for photos when you first enter the room, long tables always look great, but it's just for that one moment, and then when it comes to practicalities, they can be a little bit more difficult to navigate. Next up are the wedding flowers. Now I have three tips for wedding flowers. The first one is they can be used more than once so all the flowers used in the ceremony can be used again to decorate the wedding breakfast space and use the centerpieces. The second tip is to create some photo moment that people can line up for and use for their Instagram. Either that's a flower archway or a flower wool. It's a nice thing to add. The third thing is that the flowers use the centerpieces can also be used as gifts. Usually, during the speeches, gifts are handed out to certain important people and you'll probably never spend as much money on flowers ever again as you will on your wedding day so it's worth giving them away as gifts and it's also useful way of getting rid of the flowers at the end of the day because unfortunately at the end of a wedding day, the flowers have to go somewhere so if you're not taking them home, then they're going to end up somewhere else. Giving them away as a nice gift during the speeches, it's just nice little touch. Finally, it's lighting. Now, this is only a small point, but I think it makes such a big impact. I wanted to include it in here, and that's the use of up lighters. Up lighters are the lights that sit on the floor, and they shine upwards and they fill out a space of a room, and it just adds such a different atmosphere to the space. They can really change and alter a space and make it look way more attractive and yeah, just builds an atmosphere in the room so yeah, these have up lighters, I'd highly recommend. 15. Design 2 - Personal details: [MUSIC] This is Part 2 to design, and we'll be looking at the table. We're including centerpieces, table favors, and additional personal touches. Starting with the table centerpieces, these are the bits that are in the middle of the table, which are used as decorations for all the tables to give it an atmospheric lift, and it adds to the look of the theme or the color scheme that you have going. People tend to have either flowers or water jugs with candles and there's all things you can go for, and if you have a particular theme such as cities around the world, you can have an Empire State Building from New York, etc. So there's lots of different ways you can go send to pieces. The one piece of advice I would give you [NOISE] is to first think about the size of the centerpiece and how much space it's taking up on the table itself. Ultimately, the room will look amazing when it's empty or not filled with people but as soon as people sit down at the tables, they need to be able to see each other and communicate with each other essentially. If you have a big beautiful bouquet of flowers, but it's right at the line level, then half of the table aren't going to be able to see the other half, and I have seen unfortunately, AT 100 pounds worth of flowers get picked up off the table and put on the floor. Thinking about your centerpieces in a way which makes the table a social table, and people to talk to each other is really important. I would say go for something either low and wide or tall and thin. You can have a tool, giant martini glasses, I've seen all these copper frames, but say a frame there, but these couple of frames like a platform on the top with a small flower arrangement on the top, but it's way up here so everyone's able to see each other still. That's are my recommendations for centerpieces, and one other thing to avoid would be to have liquids in any of the centerpieces as well. It's so easy for these things get knocked over, the tablecloth can get pulled to one side, something that can get knocked over on the table, which then knocks over these water-filled jugs with candles in it. They look great and they do look great, but if they get knocked over, somebody has just created a paddling pool on their table and in their lap. [LAUGHTER] Avoid any liquids, and go with low and wide or tall and thin for centerpieces. Table favors. Now, table favors are the little gifts that every single guest gets at their table place. When I was growing up in the late '90s, early 2000s, every wedding I went to as a kid, it was sugar almonds in a little white netted bag tied for the ribbon. Things have moved on since then, clearly. I've seen things such as personalized love hearts, you can get personalized M&Ms or alcoholic miniatures, all things you can get for guests as the table flavors. I would say, when you're thinking about this in terms of your budget, and if you are on a budget and you're trying to save money in smaller places, ditch the table favors, having nothing sometimes, guests won't know the difference, and also table favors are never a thing that guests talk about. I've never been to a wedding I've ever heard anybody else say, do you remember Jimmy John's wedding? Oh my God, their table favors were amazing. Do you remember their table fit? Their table favors worked, it's never happened, that the conversation has never been had. Unless you're willing to spend a lot of money on them, then it really isn't going to be a standout feature of the wedding day. I'm hoping that there'll be other elements to your wedding day that are going to be standing out more than your table favors. Unless you want the table favors to be, if it's an iPhone each, they're going to be talking about the table favors, I promise. I think there's two examples of table favors which I think really stood out, and the reason they stood out is because the couple had put blood, sweat, and tears into making them themselves. They really were personalized. If you have a hobby or you want to get handy at something arts and crafts, say, spend some time, it might take you six months, it might take a year just to slowly do one a week for each guest, and creating something special for them, which relates to if your theme, your relationship with them or whatever it is, that will stand out more than spending money on it. I think you can quite easily save 500, or 1,000 pounds on table favors just by thinking creatively and going into your hobbies and getting a bit arts and crafts. Going a bit blue pizza style on your table favors, it sounds cheap, but actually they can look really, really classy. Two examples of this that I know stood out to me; one of them was the couple I had gone through their Facebook photographs and they'd gone back, way, way back until they may be they first met that particular afraid or the first photo they're handled them and they cut their image out or scanned it or do whatever, and turned into their place card and table favor. It was a really lovely image of them and their family members and their guests at a moment in time, which was years ago or associated with a particular story that created conversation at the tables. It was really fun thing to do. I'm sure it took many hours to do it, but I think it also would have been fun going through all the old photos of old friends and family and remembering those stories. I think doing that created three things. It was a nice personal touch, it was momenta that people were going to keep, it was also a talking point at the tables because it showed them what photos they get a view and it just sparks a conversation very naturally and organically. I think that was a really good idea. The second one I saw, which stood out was the groom was quite good cartoonist, a bit of an artist. It wasn't what he did for a living, but he was very good at drawing, and for each individual place card, he did a cartoon for every single guests at the wedding. It must have taken him, God knows how many hours to do this, but it looked incredible and it was definitely a massive talking point. He even did a big group shot, a cartoon version of a group photo of every single guest that was in the other weddings. It's almost like a cast of the day, which is really cool. Those are the two exams that I can think of that really stood out, but I would say, but centerpieces go tall, thin, low, wide, with table favors go with something that's personalized, something that can create yourself as something which has a bit of a personal touch. If you want to go all out, then by all means do that. I think the most expensive table favor I've ever seen were personalized leather passport holders to every single guest. It was really lovely touch. They got to get used because people don't tend to buy a personalized passport holder, they usually are gifts. That was probably the most expensive one I've seen. It was nice, classy touch. But if you're looking to save money on a budget, then look to your own skills and see you can create and come up with as a couple. Another item on the tables are the place names. Now, I've seen many different versions of these in all shapes and sizes, I've seen the calligraphy, handwritten place cards, which look lovely, I've seen laser cut pieces of words, I've seen plastic molded copper, painted place names which are very difficult to read. But they look nice, if it fits the theme, fine, it looks great. I think there is an opportunity here though for more of a personal touch. Beyond going through Facebook and cutting out the phases of friends and family, I think you can, if you have a calligraphy handwritten place card by professional on the inside of that card you could write a little handwritten message. Remember when dot, dot, dot and then thinking of a small story between you and that person or some joke is a lovely personal touch or something like when I think of you, dot, dot, dot, and then writing a nice little personal note, and everybody can look inside that card, they can read a thing, they've got to stories to help the tables, and it's a nice personal touch that people are probably going to keep because it's handwritten, you put the time and effort into it and they know that you care. Place names is something where you can get a bit creative and explore your hobbies and crafts. To throw in a few other ideas for personal touches on a date, you can think about your guest book. You can have a classic guest book where people can write their name on a little message, you can also have a fingerprint tree. It's a printed piece of paper, varying in size and you get these little green or orange or whatever time of year it is for you, fingerprints and you can print your fingerprint on a leaf and then the guest writes their name underneath the fingerprints so you know who was there on your day and you can frame it, put it up on the wall, and it's a still takeaway for you as a couple and also it's a fun thing for guests to get involved with too. I've also seen almost like a connect for frame with little love hearts, and you can write a little message on the left heart or write your name on the left heart. You can drop them in so that the little wooden love hearts, they go to connect four and they build up this mountain of love hearts, which then turns into a piece of art that you can put on a mantelpiece or in your bathroom at home. That's a few other ideas for the guest book. Another thing to think about is the letter boxes and the place where political people are going to put cards and their presence on the day. Even if you set your guests, please don't bring anything with you. We don't want any money or any presence of any gifts. People are going to bring money, presence and gifts and at least cards to our wedding day, at least here in the UK, we're just too polite. I would recommend having a small table which is designated for gifts and cards and things, and also having a letterbox that's big enough to fit big cards, and I've seen different versions of this, you can have a classic Royal Mail style letter box, but you can also have pigeon hole style letterbox, say I have a box, lots of boxes that people can put things in of varying sizes, and I've even seen a chicken coop made of soft chicken wire with a little more top with a hole in the front. A whiskey barrel that people need to put things in, maybe not as big as a whiskey barrel, but miniature size barrel. What else is there? There was one or hamper as well. It's a nice, easy way to go about it. You can flip the lid up on the hamper, put the word gifts, and then people can just drop their gifts in there. We'll have a little slot in the front of the people and that things. Having a place for your gifts is really useful. It sounds obvious, but if you don't have a place for them or it's not obvious where to put the cards of the gifts, you'll be unindicted with guests say, I've got a card, where should I put it? As soon as you've heard about five times, you'll be thinking to yourself, I wish I had someone else doing this or I wish I had a place where people could just put things and not keep on asking me that question. Thinking about where gifts and cards go is something to consider for the day. Finally, there's the order of the day sign. This is the sign that everyone sees as they arrive at the wedding day, just to give them an idea of what to expect throughout the day and when to expect it. Usually says, we get hitched and then drinks and a party can be inventive as you like with the different terms, but essentially it's going through your timeline and give them a creative name if you want to, and the times that it's happening. One thing I've seen a lot of recently, our old palette boards have been spray painted white. Then each section of the day is written on a different plank on a pallet. I've seen mirrors with white board writing on, there's loads of different versions you can see. I've even seen bookcases, but like authentic style bomb of woody effect bookcases, and each shelf has the time what's happening, and then a little item or object or photos of the cup or displayed on it as well. It's turned into a double whammy there. We've got a bookcase which it fits your theme, which has time, event, and then photo frames of the couple or guests that are unfortunately no longer with us, and that gives guest something to interact with as well. We'll look at and reminisce on as a feature as guests arrive, it's something's talk about before the ceremony. So thinking about how we can spark some conversations even before the ceremony is really useful, it do break the ice and get people chatting. They have it. That's it for Part 2 of design. 16. Food & drink: Next up it's food and drink. We can separate food and drink into three parts. There's the reception drinks, the wedding breakfast, and the evening reception. Starting with reception drinks, this is the moment after the ceremony, before the meal while guests seem mixed and mingling and you tend to have gone off as a couple with a photographer to take four more shots with close friends and family, the rest of the guests who have left their own devices for awhile. After the ceremony, depending on whether you have food and drink supplied by your venue, whether you have a dry hire, so you're completely organizing everything, you're all by yourself, it will differ. But as a rule, after the ceremony, guests want to have at least one or two drinks that are on the house that has been paid for by the couple. If they can grab a drink straight off the ceremony, it just gets the atmosphere and the energy at a place where everyone can grab a drink, feel comfortable and just start chatting, rather than having to wait a bar to grab their drink. There's something comforting about holding a drink and chatting rather than not because it gives you something to do if it becomes awkwardly silent or you to think for a second. Having a drink available straight off the ceremony is something I'd recommend for that matter. When it comes to food, having canopies. Now, some weddings have a buffet, some have canopy, some have other versions of the above. I would say having something for guests to eat over that period of time is really important because there'll be waiting around for at least an hour, sometimes up to two, depending on how you've decided to give that period of time. I know we covered timings before. My recommendation is 90 minutes an hour and a half is about sweet spot so our guests don't get too hungry or too bored that they have enough time to chat amongst themselves and you have enough time with your photographer. Having something to eat and snack on before the meal is really recommended. After reception drinks, it's time for the wedding breakfast. This is the main meal of the day. The reason it's called a wedding breakfast, it's because it's the first meal a couple are sharing as a married couple, they go, it's a bit of a wedding history for you, tradition. A wedding breakfast is typically a three-course meal, starters, main desert. There's usually wine served between the courses that they're already at the tables and then having toasting drinks just before the speeches. If you're having your speeches at the beginning, there may be having some bubbles, Champagne or Prosecco brought at the beginning of the meal. People have something to toast to. If you're having it at the end and having the toasting drinks poured just before the speeches is what typically happens if you have a drink to toast to speeches. Things to think about here are if you're going completely dry hire, so you've just hired the space and nothing else, I would speak to your caterers and get their advice on what they used to working with. Also what they think will fit your theme. If you have a very fixed idea on how you'd like to do your wedding breakfast, then speak to your caterers and make sure they have a clear idea of that. Otherwise, if you have a venue that has a wedding organizer with it, then there'll be able to guide you through that and it gives you some advice there too. After the wedding breakfast typically, the room has to be changed over. The space that's used for the wedding breakfast is then transformed into this party space depending on the size of the venue, have sometimes it's a separate room but generally speaking, they want to change that room over anyway. After the wedding breakfast, people have finished the speeches happen in the same space then guests exit. They'll grab teas and coffees at that moment in time. Again, if you go for a dry hire then do think about what guests will be having after the wedding breakfast. Generally speaking, there's a tea and coffee table but people can help themselves too just before the party starts and it gives them a bit of energy boost of caffeine. After that point, we then go into the evening reception. Sometimes if you have evening guests arriving, there will be expecting some food. The day guests will start to flag about four hours after wedding breakfast. Then give them some small snack is a good idea. I've seen things such as street food carts have been hired to add a splash of color and creativity to the wedding day. That could be anything from fish and chips to Thai food, whole grossed has been used, pizza ovens, there's also some things that you can go for. Again, if it's dry hire, speak to your caterers, they might have some advice. If you want to get creative, then also the street food carts. Or you can look at traditionally dressed-up food carts that are specifically for weddings they do exist. About having something for guests that eats during the evening just to keep their energy up and keeping the field is really worth thinking about too. While we're on the topic of food and drink, I just wanted to add a quick word on food service. Now, believe it or not, there is a right way and a wrong way to serve food. I'll give you two examples. The first example, let's say you have four dishes for guests to choose from; there's a chicken dish, a beef dish, a fish dish, and a vegetarian dish. The servers will come out with the plates and they'll go to a table and say who ordered chicken and then the people that ordered chicken pop their hand. They put down the chicken. They do the same for the beef, same for the fish, same for the vegetarian style. By the time that's happened, the people that were served the chicken, their food is going cold. To be polite, guests tend to not start eating until everybody's food is there. Although some people say, no, go ahead and start. I think it just doesn't flow very well is a bit jarring for guests and just creates this awkward moment of should I eat shouldn't I eat? Even if guests to saying, no please go ahead, it still puts the person but the food in front of them in this predicament, which isn't ideal. That's one way of serving food. The second way is called a fan service. Now, this is the head and shoulders. The best way of serving food is way above the rest. The way this works is every single server has the plate of food for one individual at the table. If you have a table of ten, you'll have five servers with two plates each. They'll wrap around the table and they'll all drop their plates down and serve the food in the correct place at the right time without having to ask any questions because they have the table plan, they know what people are eating at each table and it gets served really efficiently and it looks super slick and everyone's food gets delivered on time and is hot. If you are working with a catering company or with the venue, then ask them how they're serving the food, what's their service style. The service style we're looking for fan service. It sounds very small point but it really gives it a massive lift during the wedding breakfast and avoids complicated just awkwardness about who ordered what and I can't remember when I ordered. That happens a lot. But if you have a fan service than the kitchen, know who's ordered what and if there are any issues, then you can talk to the catering staff while you're there. The people at the table can talk to the catering staff, say actually, I ordered the fish and it can be quickly changed now but everybody else at the table gets their food very quickly. That's a quick word on service style. Finally, the open tab, should we or shouldn't we? It's not an uncommon thing for some couples to have an open tab behind the bar. I think there are three things to consider before doing it. The first is when to have it. The second is what drinks are included with it. The third is to make sure that there is a limit and that you're notified when that limit is hit. It gives you an idea of how quickly people are drinking and how quickly that budget is going. Starting with when to start it, I would say starting it after the wedding breakfast is probably the best time. If you start it too early, then guests can get a little bit too drunk, a little bit too quickly. You just want more of a natural flow at the beginning of the wedding day, I think when people are starting to break the ice and create a talking point between themselves to having to put some effort into being polite and following decorum and protocol at our wedding. I think if you get people too drunk too early on the night can got to go out of the window and it just gets a little bit messy a bit too quickly. Having open tab at the end of the meal, I think is the right time to have it. The second thing to consider is what's included in that. You can tell the bar staff the top-shelf spirits, shots and bottles of champagne are not included in that tab. I know you're thinking, my friends and family wouldn't do that to me. Believe me, your friends and family would most definitely do that to you. [LAUGHTER] Also if these plus ones coming along and they're just taking advantage of an open bar. Having a limit on what is available and what is under that tab, you can govern that. The third thing is to just make sure that somebody either behind the bar or the venue organizer or whoever is the designated person, gives you a nudge when your budget has been maxed out. If you've put 1,000 pounds behind the bar, get a nudge one that's run out, then you have the option to either extend it or just to leave it as it is and people start paying for their own drinks. Those are the three things I would consider if you're thinking about having an open tab behind the bar. 17. Ceremony: It's time for the ceremony. Now, I'm sure you have a very clear idea of what the ceremony is going to look like. But here's a few things to consider. The first is the timings, the second is having an unplugged ceremony, and finally, the music and the group photo. Starting with the timings. If you have your ceremony at say, twelve o'clock, just an arbitrary number, let guests know that the ceremony is starting at 11:45. This just prevents people from being late and missing out on the ceremony. I know you're thinking, we're all adults, they'll arrive on time, they're my closest friends and family. I've been to enough weddings now where guests have unfortunately ran late and they haven't arrived on time and they've been locked out of the ceremony. Because as soon as those doors close, you don't want any interruptions going back in. It just doesn't look good. There was one event I went to where the majority of guests were staying in a local hotel and the coach arrived late for the ceremony because one or two guests couldn't make it to the coach in time, which then made the entire coach late for the ceremony. About 40 guests were missing from the ceremony. The bride wasn't too pleased to say the least. Lying to your guests, it's the one time that I would recommend lying to your guests is about the timing of your ceremony. It'll just stop people from being late and missing out. That's on timings. The second thing is having an unplugged ceremony. One unplugged ceremony is, is where all the guests are asked to turn their phones off and there's no use of cameras from your guests. The only person that should be taking photos is your photographer. Now, this has a few benefits. The first thing is nobody is going to get a call that's going to interrupt the ceremony. Somebody's poorly placed alarm that they've forgotten about won't go off. If there's a phone on airplane mode, the alarms still work. Finally, when the photographer is taking photos of you down the aisle, they won't have somebody in the foreground with their phone up here. It just makes the photos look so much better where it's just people being in the moment, being present and enjoying the moment together and not busily looking through their phone into real life and watching a video or a photo that they're never going to look at again. That then just sits in a library somewhere. The photos are there for you. Having their hands out of shot, having their phones off, that's what's considered an unplugged ceremony. To make sure people do it, you can request it in the invite, remind them on the day with a sign. As guests are entering the ceremony room have a couple of ushers to remind guests to turn their phones off and there's no use of cameras throughout the ceremony. Having a few reminders throughout, we'll make sure that guests don't fold in and start taking photos with their phone. You can have a bit of a compromise after the main event has happened and that the I do's have been said and you're officially married. When you're doing the signing of the book, that's when guests can flip their phones on, take as many photographs as they like. I think that's a fair haggling system. No use of phones during the ceremony. But once you're signing the book, take as many photos as you like. Another thing to consider during the ceremony is the music. I'm sure you already have a song in mind that you'd like to walk down the aisle to. That means something special to you both. If you don't, then start having a bit of a think. There are two ways to play it, either over a playlist on a sound system or hiring a musician to play that as you walk down the aisle. It's a nice magical touch, having it live. I think the other advantage to using a musician to play down the aisle is they can be playing other songs and some ambient music as the ceremony space starts to fill with guests. They can then get a nod from a venue organizer or a manager or whoever is in place to say we're about to go into the main track. Then they can play that track. Then as the signing happens, they can play the right songs as the signing happens and there's some ambient music. If you're relying on technology and somebody pressing, play and pause, things like the backtracking go, a call can come through, just lots of unexpected things can happen. I think it's far less stress going with a musician who knows what they're doing and can play throughout the entire ceremony seamlessly. Finally, it's the group photo. Now I highly recommend doing this straight after the ceremony. The ceremony happens, they set a confetti throw moment with two lines facing each other. I did recommend having a group photo then. The reason for that is all of your guests are together at this moment in time already. You don't need to herd anyone together and get them together to take this group photo. If you decide to do it before the wedding breakfast because some way you heard it's a great idea to get everyone together before going into the wedding breakfast, it's just not a good idea. Believe me. Usually there's somebody that has some surprise they need to get from their car, Uncle Jerry is in the toilet, or somebody's gone off for a walk and people are just everywhere. It's like herding kittens. Getting the group photo done and out of the way while everyone is already together is highly recommended. 18. Speeches - Who & when: [MUSIC] The speeches, when to have them, and some tips on how to deliver them. Before we get into the main bulk of this video, there were just three points I want to cover right at the beginning. The first is a quick word on gifts. Having a small table, which you can put the gifts on well in advance is highly recommended. If they're just objects on a table, nobody is going to pay attention to them. Don't feel as if you're revealing a surprise or something. But having bags or flowers hidden under the top table or behind a curtain in the room, it just looks clumsy and messy when it comes to that point in the speeches, because all we need, I've got a gift for the mother of the bride, or can we go find? It just turns into a bit of a mess. Rummaging underneath the table and looking over the flowers, water goes everywhere. It just becomes messy. Having a table off to one side which has some objects on it, people don't know what they are if they're wrapped up or in gift bags or whatever. But, just having a place nearby that you can get the reference to and people can come and collect them after the speeches, or they can be given out during the speeches, depending on how you want to deliver them. That's just a quick word on giving out gifts. The next use of projectors. Now when my brother got married, I use a projector and I did a dual speech with the other best man, which is his best friend. [NOISE] We made sure that the projector worked and that everything was working before that speech happened. I've seen too many times people setting up a project as a surprise and then the technology just failing them. Either the laptop doesn't connect anymore or the power to the speakers in the video they're trying to play doesn't play out the main speakers, so they're trying to use a microphone. It just becomes very messy using projectors. I would say just to let anybody know that's doing a speech. If you're planning on using a projector, please check everything works before we get into that room. During the reception drinks or even prior to the ceremony, make sure all of that technology is working ready to rock and roll and that nobody can touch anything or change anything. Because it really does kill the mood when you've got the best man speech, usually the closing speech and then you're messing around with technology. It doesn't look good. That's just a word on using projectors. Otherwise, projectors are good fun, but just making sure the tech works is really important. Letting everyone that's doing a speech know what's off limits and being very clear about that. I think it's quite obvious to most people that talking about ex partners is off the table, talking about very messy moments in people's lives is off limits. I think that skeletons in the closet style stuff. You can touch on some things, but if it was like about onetime it happens to them when x, y, z happened, the best man basically he's dropping a bomb on the day. He doesn't want to do that. Just being very explicitly clear with your best men, particularly, but anybody that's doing a speech and you're giving the power to speak to everyone over a microphone and it's their time to be funny. Make sure they don't mention anything about ex partners or those times when you don't want people to be talking about those times or know those times. By all means, if you're very open and you're happy for people to know about everything, then fine, give them all the power they'd like. By speaking about ex partners and things and mentioning up people's names could cause a bit of a sour moment during the speeches. Some reason it's usually the best man after a few drinks who's been encouraged by some other friends. Just being very clear about speeches, what is off-limits, yeah, highly recommended, just saves a lot of pain. Next we have when to have the speeches. There are three styles to go forward. The first is before the meal, the second is between the courses of the meal, and finally, after the meal. Now if you don't want to watch the rest of this, then the answer to this question is having your speeches after the meal hands down every time. It's the best time to have them. But because we're here, I'll talk about all three options and the pros and cons. Having them before the meal. The usual reason for doing this is because the people doing the speeches want to enjoy their food. They'd like to get their speech out of the way. If you're the groom and this is what you want to do, by all means do it. It's your wedding day just as much as everyone else's. But do bear in mind that after the reception drinks, as soon as guests start coming into the wedding breakfast, they're primed for food. If they've traveled for a couple of hours, they probably haven't eaten for the last 4-5 hours, they are quite hungry and definitely don't fool yourself into thinking that we've got that covered because we're serving canopies throughout the reception drinks. The canopies and never enough food to satisfy stomach. They are just hungry. There's still gonna be hungry. Believe me, I've had guests talking to me about, when's the food happening? We've got speeches first. It's all this stuff. Thinking about the hunger of the guests and also when they sit down at the tables, they might not know the other half of the table, they might not know who they sat with. When the jokes land in the speeches, they don't go down quite as well. They haven't had many drinks and they don't know that people who are sat next to. It's just not quite as good as it could be. That's having them before the meal. It helps the people out doing the speeches, but the people that aren't doing the speeches, they just hungry, they want things to move on. Next up is having them between the courses of the meal. I guess it's an interesting way of doing it. Having one speech after another between each course, it adds some entertainment between them. I do think that interrupts the flow of the room. If you're sat at a table and you've already created conversation or you're halfway through your meal and you haven't quite finished yet, you then having to stop everything to then listen to the speech and then carry on eating or carry on a conversation just as things were getting too warm up and then cools off again because we have to sit down and watch this next speech happening. I think it's a bit jarring. It doesn't quite flow as well and it's just not as good. Also sometimes people are left out of the room because they didn't know speech was about to happen. Either out for a cigarette or they've gone out to have a chat with old friend, or they've finished that course. Having them between the courses is just a little bit jarring. It's not an ideal scenario. Finally, having them after the meal, which I believe is the best time to have them. The reason for that is as soon as guests have finished their meal, they've had a few drinks, they get warmed up the people around them at their table. They've broken the ice. They feel comfortable and relaxed and they've got a food baby in them. They don't want to move is the last thing they want to do. This is the ideal scenario to have a rapt audience is strapped to the meal, for the food, they've had a few drinks. They're comfortable in their surroundings. The speeches are going to go down better and everyone doesn't want to move. This is the best time to have your speeches. Now typically, the order of the speeches goes the father of the bride, the groom, and then the best man. That's the traditional format for speeches. However, this is your wedding day, do whatever you like. You can add or subtract as many speeches as you like. Don't have any speeches if you don't want any. If the bride falls to say a few words, go for it. Ultimately, there is set rules to a wedding day. There's just tradition. But by all means, do whatever you like. 19. Speeches - How to give a great speech: [MUSIC] How to deliver a great wedding speech. I've created a list of 11 tricks and tips to help make sure that your speech goes as well as you want it to and just to calm your nerves well in advance. By all means, feel free to share this list with anybody else that's giving a speech on your day. Some you may have already thought of, others may be really useful. We'll start from the top. The first one is obviously introduce yourself. There's always opportunities for comedy there. Is quite funny having a groom introduce himself on his own wedding day. But introducing yourself also gives you basically a space and time which is so easy to deliver. You know your name is and you know who you are, is a great way just to start the speech off confidently and just a way of getting into things. Introducing yourself, it's at the top. Next up and this is specifically for the groom, is there's a traditional line at almost every wedding. It's not always delivered how it should be. It's the line my wife and I and it's usually delivered on behalf of my wife and I and it gets a big cheer. Two things to remember is the wording on behalf of my wife and I. That is the right wording for that gag and there needs to be a pause after that moment so then it gets filled in by the cheer or the applause from the guests. On behalf of my wife and I. There should be feedback from the audience. We can't hear it now, I'm in front of the camera. I hope that makes sense. But basically messing up that line is a real shame. It's a great line and it always gets a reaction so deliver that one properly. Third up is just slowing down. I think when people get nervous they just want to get their speech out of the way. It's a natural habit to speed up because of the nerves and just getting through all the words in your script or in your head. I think just slowing down to the point where you feel a little bit uncomfortable is probably about the right speed. Just slowing down and letting yourself breathe and just giving yourself space. It comes across as more competent and confident and that's exactly what we want to see as a guest so that people are comfortable being the center of attention. Even if you're not acting like it just for this five or 10 minutes is really worth it on the wedding day, especially if they're being recorded and captured on the camera. Keep them short and sweet. I think 10-15 minutes is the optimal time for a speech, 20 if you're a really good storyteller. But any longer than that and it just turns into just this very long. It's too long for the guests. I know they've had food they don't want to move but they also want to be kept entertained at the same time. Keeping it short and sweet, 10-15 minutes. Tell all the people doing speeches 10-15 minutes. If they have timed their speech and they're reading it from their notes and they're timing it on their phone and they're just reading word for word, I always double the time that it takes to read through it because there will be an ellipse, there will be some heckling, there will be some to and fro, there will be applause, cues, laughing. There's also things that get added into that time so if it takes five minutes to read this, that's probably going to take about 10 minutes to deliver it in front of an audience. That's just how it goes. Keeping it short and sweet between 10 and 15 minutes is about ideal. Now there's a toss-up between scripts or bullet points. Some people like to have their entire script printed out on a piece of A4 and they're reading it word for word looking down at the microphone, that's perfectly fine. If you can work from bullet points, it always looks better. Just because you've made a bullet point about something, they can just ad-lib and free flow and just trust your instincts and just keep your mind calm and just go with it. If you want to read word for word, then by all means, read word for word. If you're going to do that, then use big bits of paper like A4 and print it in large font size. Something that I didn't know, font Size 14 and above. Keep it really big print and create chunks of text so you know where you are in each paragraph. Break it up into lots of paragraphs and if you're really smart, then just create lines as milestones between the script. When you come off of scripts and you're looking up, you can look down and immediately be at the right place in your scripts rather than having to search where you are. It's fine if you have to search where you are but it just keeps things moving a little bit slicker if you can just add a glance, know exactly where you are because you've made some breaks in the text and you've created milestones either using a highlighter or just dashing across on the Word document or whatever you're using. On the topic of reading from a script, you can read from an A4 sheet of paper. Print it out on a printer at home. Another option is to use these. These are index cards. You can get them slightly bigger and slightly smaller than this. If you're using bullet points, then you have three bullet points per card. Once you've finished that section, you then move on to the next one and just make your way through the cards. If you're reading from a script, you can print the script out, cut out each paragraph, and glue the paragraph to each card. Now you don't need to keep track of where you are using a big sheet of A4. It's all handwritten on one card each so you know where to land the line and then you're on to the next section and you can just work your way through. An extra pro tip here is to number each of the cards. You've got just in the top corner up here, I've got 1, 2, 3, and 4. If I drop these or they mix up, I can quickly just look at the numbers put them back in order again. If you want to go super pro and you're nervous about dropping them, then you can punch a hole in the corner and then just tie a piece of string. That'll stop them from falling out of order if you were to drop these. Also using index cards, it's a little bit neater than that an A4 piece of paper or an iPhone. I think reading from a phone can look a bit messy, especially with the photographer, and an iPhone can also run out of battery. It can not have Internet connection and it can ring and do all things while you're mid-speech. Using index cards, I think is probably the way to go. Remember to look up. As you're delivering your speech, if you've got a line it's going to land, then look up to the guests and make a bit of eye contact with them as well. They want to connect with you ideally. Just make sure to look up every now and again and have a bit of eye contact with the people looking back at you. It's crazy about our atmosphere. Remember to breathe. This is great for if you're feeling nervous or if you're feeling emotional at any point, is just to stop take a breath and don't be scared of pausing. Silence isn't as awkward as it feels if it's intentional. Taking those little pauses between those lines hopefully didn't feel too awkward to you. Sometimes taking an awkward silence is different from planned silence. Just stopping and controlling the sentence and just going slower feels like you're in control. An awkward silence is trying to find your place. You can have confidence silence when inside you're going where the **** is my place. Just thinking about it in terms of enjoying yourself, take a breath and pause is absolutely fine. Giving people the opportunity to laugh. I think some people rush through their speech at such a speed that there's no time for the audience to be able to laugh and have fun with what you're saying. You spent all this time writing the speech, give them the opportunity to laugh and respond to that as well. Making sure you're able to be heard. The amount of times I've seen speeches where the microphone isn't working or the microphone is being held down here and it's not picking up the voice or if people choose not to use a microphone, people at the back really can't hear and they start muttering between themselves. I think it's the most important thing if you're giving a speech or if you're talking to any group of people is to make sure you're being heard. If they can't hear you, it just makes it very difficult for them to know when to laugh, when to applaud, or what's going on in the speech. If you have the option to use a microphone, always take it. Make sure the microphone is fully charged and that it works. I've seen microphones go dead mid-speech before venues, and it's very embarrassing. It's not the greatest thing to see. If you don't use a microphone, make sure you can use your voice but the majority of the time average person on the street doesn't know how to project their voice properly. In some of these big manor houses and big bonds, using a microphone and a sound system is the way to go every single time. Just making sure you're heard is really important. The next one is very obvious. Avoid speaking about your ex-partners even if it's in a joke, just don't do it. It's not the right thing to do on a wedding day. Unless you've got that relationship with your partner and you've cleared it with them, don't do it. Easy as that. Finally, this is probably a message to all of the fathers of the brides, avoid the biography. Yes, we get it. You're very proud of your son or your daughter but we don't need to hear the entire life story. Were born in Cambridge and then in 1973 dadada, and then GCSEs and A-Levels and university and career progression. It just becomes too much. [LAUGHTER] Say a few things you're proud of or just say, I'm really proud of everything they've accomplished. Half of the people in that room already know what that person has accomplished. There's no need to rehash all of the old stuff. It is not interesting to anybody else but yourself. Believe me, so avoid the biography and just go straight for the good stuff. It'll be a sharper snappier speech and you can always say to your son or your daughter that you're proud of them. But just keep it short and sweet. Don't go for the biography. It's just the better way to go. Those are all the tips and tricks for giving a great speech. I hope they've been useful and I hope you found something that you can use. Catch you in a bit. 20. On the day - Have fun!: [MUSIC] It's come to the date itself, what can we do to reduce the stress levels and create some reassurance? There's two things we can do. The first is to create a checklist, have a list of things that you need to do or things that need to be brought into the venue either the evening before or the morning of, and just work through the list. It will create some reassurance and it'll also organize your mind and reduce the stress massively. The second thing you can do is to delegate as much as possible. Utilize your bridesmaids and your ushers, give them something to do. It makes them feel a little bit more special and important, but also takes some of the weight off of your shoulders and onto theirs. Somebody needs to organize guests into certain seats during the ceremony, give the ushers that job, make sure they know what they're doing. If somebody needs to give out confetti before the confetti Photoshop, give that job to somebody. As the more you delegate the less stresses on your shoulders. Finally, and it sounds very cheesy, but enjoy it as much as you can and give yourself some time to enjoy together just as a couple on your own. Building some 10 minutes slots throughout the day, reception drinks before you go into the wedding breakfast and at some point in the evening, just to spend between yourselves. Freshen yourselves up, have a little chat and have a moment between yourselves uninterrupted because the rest of the day you're going to be celebrities saying, hellos, thank yous, having a photo taken, and all that good stuff. I know it sounds cheesy, enjoy your wedding day and have fun. 21. Verity Chivers - Venue Manager: [MUSIC] I am Verity Chivers. I'm currently General Manager at Bassmead. I've been in the wedding industry for 6.5 years, but been in hospitality for countless years. I won't count back exactly how many. But I've done restaurant work which included weddings, and then I've worked with outdoor catering companies at various East Anglia wedding venues. I've done quite a few weddings in my time. Try to look at venues within your budgets. They'll always be the one that is out of reach that is going to make you stretch your budget and put stress on the whole wedding planning, because you're always going to be thinking I've spent probably too much on my venue. Maybe start with the ones that you can afford that maybe aren't the ones you would like to have. But with some a little bit of decor and titivation, it might become the wedding venue of your dreams. Maybe work your way up to a wedding venue that you really love. If it is out of your budget, you might need to change your numbers and look at the supplies you're going for. But I think it's definitely worth not going with your most expensive, the first one you view, because you're just going to be disappointed if you can't afford it and you fall in love with it. [MUSIC] A lot of people come and just want to fall in love with the venue, and they get a feel for the venue. It's always worth asking what services the venue provides for you. Some do everything, some do very little and maybe just provide the bar and you have to get everything from outside. Some do the management of the wedding, they do the catering. It's worth asking that so you can then compare each venue against each other. Yes, we're paying a little bit more here, but actually we're getting a lot more for our money. Worth always asking about suppliers who work at the venue. Because that's always nice to know which suppliers when looking for your suppliers, know the wedding venue well. When you're in your show around one question actually before booking, is minimum numbers for catering because some venues have an 80 minimum numbers. If you're not going to reach 80 guests, are you prepared to pay for 80 guests when you don't have. You want a smaller intimate wedding, and you've only got 50 guests. Some venues will enforce that it's an 80 minimum numbers. To me, I would then scrap that venue, move on to one that is going to work for me. Don't over-complicate it with too many questions. They will come up as you walk around. But if not, just get the feel of the venue. The person showing you around, you will hopefully get a good feeling out of them. They should be showing you more of how the wedding day will run, and how the feel of your day will go. Rather than you just bombarding them with questions, actually as you walk around, your answers will probably be given to you as you're enjoying your show around. If you can meet with them or have a phone call or a Zoom call, so that the first time you meet them isn't just on your wedding day. I think you definitely need to try and gel with your suppliers, more so with your photographer, they are the ones that you're going to be with most of the day. You need to feel at ease with them. You need to be able to relax and have them within your personal space for a lot of the day. You've got to be comfortable with the way they work, and then to be able to gel with their personalities so that you can have a bit of a laugh with them and be more natural. Some suppliers, you don't need to worry massive about a venue decor, or a venue dresser, or even your florist. As long as they get your ideas and your thoughts of what you want your wedding to look like. But they don't need to get your personality, because they're going to come in when you're getting ready in the morning. They're going to be able to dress the wedding venue and put everything out, and then they'll be gone. You might not even see them. Your event manager or whoever is running your wedding at the wedding venue will then direct them what they need to do. Having a relationship with them isn't imperative, but having people that are up close with the videographers and photographers, I would say definitely go to wedding fairs, meet them. Get a feel. It's not just about the product that they produce at the end of the day. That's exceptionally important, but it is about how you feel with them. Because if you get on with them and you can have a laugh, they're going to get the best out of you on the day, and you're not going to be fed up of smiling all day, which you know can get a bit tedious after awhile [LAUGHTER]. There's loads of questions and some sometimes the information that is given out by the event organizers will cover everybody's questions, and then you'll get some couples that just have so many questions. Important questions, I think asking the venue about timings of the day, I think that is really important. People who work at the venue are going to know sunset times. They're going to know where the sun sets. If you are having a winter wedding, you don't want to be getting married too late because obviously the light goes, you may well lose that beautiful sunset shot. Before you book your ceremony, it's definitely worth speaking to them and saying, "When would you advise for this time of year, and if we booked at that time, what would our day look like after that?" Because you can have some couples that want a late wedding, because it feels more romantic to get married at 4 o'clock in the afternoon. But then you have such a small amount of time afterwards to do everything. My advice is always book an earlier rather than later slot, 1 o'clock is your perfect timing if you get married on-site. If you get married elsewhere and you've got a traveling, then you would want to be looking at bit earlier than that, maybe 12 o'clock, because you've got incorporate that travel time to your venue. Church, ceremony at 12 o'clock, you wouldn't finish until about 1 o'clock. Then you've got to have some photos at the church and then travel, so you might not have arrived at the venue until 2 o'clock. Whereas if you've got married at the venue, 1 o'clock ceremony, your drinks reception starts at half past one. It's a match, there's these things that you do need to consider. Maybe advice about what suppliers to use, who comes to the venue a lot. Not so the venue can give their personal opinions, but so they can say, Yes, that supplier knows all the nooks and crannies for photographs. Or they're here a lot, so they know the flow of the day, so they know how it's going to work. If the venue and the suppliers gel on the day, your day is just going to have a such lovely feeling and it's going to be so smooth because everybody is just working alongside each other, so it really does work when people know each other. If you do choose suppliers who don't come to your chosen venue, definitely advice the suppliers to get in contact with the venue to maybe find out, when can we arrive? What do you need of us? Can we come and have a visit so on the day, I know where I'm supposed to park. I know where I can get changed. Those kind of questions, all the nitty-gritty questions will then come out within any meetings that you have during the process of planning your wedding. Budget. I think it's very easy as a bride, particularly go on Pinterest and just go crazy. I want this, and I want that, and I want the other. That's great if you have the budget for it. But if you go over with booking different things, and you then have 18 months of worrying on how you're going to pay it. The enjoyment of the process it's going to just be gone, and it's going to be a stress. Having planned a wedding for myself the process of planning it, you have to enjoy it because the wedding day just flies. It goes. It's this 16 hour day, and the planning of it you have to really enjoy, and you don't want it to be stressful because the day goes so very quickly. That would be my main advice, and make it about the two of you. It's your day, you're getting married. It's lovely to have input from friends and family and be respectful to parents that are contributing money, ask their opinions, but don't let them be forced on you. All your guests are privileged to be invited to your wedding. They've made the cut. You don't need to worry about them too much. They will enjoy the day because they're here because they love you and they're friends of yours. On the day, I would say, put yourself in the hands of the person running your wedding. Hopefully you've got a good rapport with them. Hopefully they are your friend on-site, and they're going to move you from place to place and take all the stress on the day away from you so that you are just enjoying getting married. I think take some time for the two of you. Have a couple of moments away. Whether it is to your then husband, please come help me take my veil out, or something, so that you get a couple of minutes to the two of you. Because if not, you're dragged from place to place, and I've got to go and see that person. I've got to go and see that person. Yes, you do. But it's about the two of you, you're marrying each other. Have those times where after-dinner you just have a walk maybe, and just go and spend 10 minutes without anybody, so that you can just go, "My God, did you see so and so, and all. This is just how I wanted it to be." I think definitely view your dining room area that you have planned, your table decorations. You will have planned that in your head for months, of how you envisage your room to be. Try and make sure that you're taken in there before your guests go in. Because once your guests go in, the serenity of the room is gone. There's a coat, there's a dirty gloves. There's a push jar. If you go in before they open up the dining room to your guests, you can just go. That is exactly as I wanted. Or hopefully, it is better than you had planned, and so you have that lasting memory of the room. I think my final piece of advice would be at the end of the night, try to possibly leave the venue just before the lights go on. Because the last thing you want to see of your venue, is the mess. You want to remember how it was and not the dirty glasses or the rubbish, or if you've plates or cups and saucers. If you're staying in a hotel somewhere else, leave 20 minutes before. Have a farewell by your guests, so they can say goodbye to you. Don't be, for me, the last people standing because then you'll just be in an empty venue and you'll see everybody possibly drunk at midnight when the lights go on. I would try to leave a little earlier, go to a honeymoon suite just that little bit before the lights go on, so that your memories of your room and your venue are the beginning of the day, rather than at the end of the day. 22. Verity Chivers - Venue Manager pt2: [MUSIC] I think it can hit your wallet hard. Personally, I think it's a lovely idea. But on average nowadays, a gin and tonic's £8.50. I'm not a big drinker, but if I had a free bar, I'd be on about five or six gin and tonics just on an evening. Probably, the free bar, if somebody has a drink, they put it down. Oh, I've lost my drink, let me go and get another one, I don't paying for it. To me, I think there are other offers that your venue will do. You could do a cocktail. Can we do a voucher system? Can our guest give a voucher as a favor, come and have a drink? But that's a very personal opinion. I think it can rack up into the thousands before you know it. I think there are other creative ways of giving your guests drinks without losing lots and lots of money. If you do want to do an open bar, I definitely ask for there to be restrictions. You can't buy a bottle of wine. You can't have doubles. You can't have the top shelf. It can only be a glass of wine, pints, lager, and a house gin and tonic, for example. I think then at least you are able to minimize the spend. Also during the day, they're going to get reception drinks. They're going to get wine, so maybe it's a start after the meal. Starts at 7:00, and then you could do that, it finishes at 11 o'clock. Because once you get to 11:00, and you're in that final, anywhere between half an hour to an hour, depending on when your bar closes , people start to get silly. They start to get on the shots, and suddenly, a round of shots can cost £40. I think there are restrictions to be put in place to help not get some ridiculous bill at the end. But I think that doing something a little bit more creative is a better option, personally. Efficient ways to save money on your wedding day. I think definitely when booking your venue, have a look at the different months, the different days of the week. A lot of venues do an off-peak season, a mid-peak season, and obviously a peak season. You're not going to get a different service from them, a lesser service, if you choose a Monday in February rather than a Saturday in August. Some people have to have a Saturday in August. But that's where it's going to incur you the highest cost for exactly the same service and building, as you would get on a Monday in February, for example. That is definitely, I would think, the first thing to consider a weekday wedding. Guests will come to a weekday wedding. They will book a day off. I'll book a day off to go to a concert, so I'd definitely book it off to go to my friend's wedding. Definitely, that is where you can save your biggest amount of money. That's where you can probably have your wedding venue of your dreams without breaking your budget is go for an off-peak month. I always think the first week of November is beautiful, it's cold, it's frosty, but the sunsets are just phenomenal. They're mainly orange skies. The trees look like charcoal like I'm up against them, so that is always definitely something worth considering. Numbers, I think your second most. The way you can is not having to invite every single guest that you think. Put your wish list down, what the prices are. Then go, yeah, need to save a bit of money. Plus ones, if there had not being a plus one for years and years, it's a new plus one. I don't think it's unreasonable to say, you're more than welcome to come to the evening, but I'm not going to spend X amount plus on you. You've only been with them two months. Do I want you in my photos? You might not be there six months down the line. There's these things that you can consider. They're your two biggest ways to save money, I think, is those ones. Also when looking, if you're not too worried about getting married in a church, if you have your ceremony on site, cars are gone. You don't need to have a wedding car to get you from place to place. That's just a small thing. If you get married on the site, it's definitely worth, you're saving possibly £1,000 on cars. Reusing wedding bridesmaid bouquets. If you've got five bridesmaid bouquets, that could be five table decorations. Glass vase, in the middle, you have 10 tables, you have five already there, and then you pop those into vases, and that's five centerpieces that are done. There's ways of doing things, re-utilizing your flowers. Or in your ceremony room, that can go on your top table. Any PUNs that you're having from the church or from your ceremony room can be reused in different areas. But I think the one about the bouquets, not everybody considers, so definitely worth considering that to save you possibly 50 quid a table centerpiece depending on what you're spending. I always think they should have a videographer because I think that you miss a lot of what goes on. Also, I know it's a video, but it's weird, but a tactile thing. Photographs are fine, but they are static. My first wedding, we had a videographer. My ex-husband was like, do we really need it? When we watched it, when we came back from honeymoon, it brought back all the memories, all the feels. Also, I got to see things that I didn't see on the day because I was in this area, or I was over there, or I was somewhere else. When people ask me, what do we need? I always say if you can afford one, that to me is an important part of it because it brings the wedding back to life again when you watch it. Obviously, we had a quite an old-fashioned VHS. I don't think it was like you would get today with the drones and all that. But I don't have it anymore. But we watched it a lot just to re-watch the day. I think that's quite an important thing, like a top tip. Also, depending on your venue, having a second shooter with the photographer, I think is really important. Depending on your ceremony area, they can get shots. A photographer is always stood at the front of the ceremony, capturing the partner who stood at the top of the aisles' reaction. But there's that part, the emotions that are going on before the bride walks down the aisle, the emotion with the person who is walking down with them. As an event manager, the one pitch I always take on every wedding traditionally, is the father of the bride and the bride. But I always get a picture of them before they're about to go down because there's no one there to get that picture and that emotion. I always send it to my couples because that is one that I would always want. I'm very close to my father, and it's an emotional time for a father to be giving their daughter away. I think that's quite an important one if a second shooter is part of the package, something really to consider. When choosing suppliers, have what you want, but don't go too over the top. If you've seen a supplier at a wedding venue, and you're like, yeah, I've got to have that, great. But you don't have to have everything. Everything doesn't make an impact because guests don't know where to go. Having one really fantastic extra supplier that does something that is not within the ordinary, will really make your guests talk about it. But if they're pulled from here, crazy golf here or alpacas there, or magician there, or a character tourist over here, they won't know where to go. There's too much going on. Whereas you have one really good supplier, they're just going to go, oh my God, we all got a drawing of ourselves at the wedding, how fantastic to have that. There's some things, having seen pretty much everything within weddings. Have what you want, but don't go too OTT because as a couple, you won't know where to do and what to do. The wedding isn't about entertaining your guests. It is about the two of you and having what you want. If there is alpacas, or it is a confetti pony, that's absolutely fine. But you don't have to have everything of every kind of supplier possible because it's just not always warranted, I don't think. Also invite the guests that you want to invite. You don't have to invite everybody that you know and every family member that you never see. I think, make it about the two of you and what makes you happy. If that is 30, fantastic, if it's 150, fantastic, but make it about the two of you. 23. Emily Lambert - Florist: My name is Emily and I am the owner of Thatch and Roses and I'm a florist based heavily in the weddings and events industry. When couples approach us about wedding flowers, we always ask them to complete an inquiry form which takes key details. Most importantly, when they're getting married and where they're getting married to make sure that we are available for their date and then we run them through a series of questions based around guest count, budget, if they have any ideas in mind, so that we can ascertain the style and the size of their wedding, and we can guide them then through the process of the best flowers we think are going to suit their wedding. Other than the factual things about knowing when and where a couple's wedding is, we really want them to understand and be able to tell us what their day is about, why they're getting married, how they want their day to feel, the emotions they want their guests to feel when they're at their wedding and not the specifics about wedding flowers necessarily because we appreciate that most couples are never gotten married before and don't know the first thing about wedding flowers. That's why we're here. When couples are looking for a wedding florist, we always recommend that you choose the florists that you naturally feel like their style aligns with you. In the same way, you wouldn't go to an art gallery and buy a piece of art you didn't like, don't go to a florist and ask them about wedding flowers if you don't like most of what they are producing. Go to a florist whose style you naturally align with and they will translate that into your wedding, and they will be florists whose styles overlap with each other so there's always more than one flourish you can go and talk to you and to get an idea of a gauge of whether that fluoresce is the right flourished for you. What we also do after we've had your consultation behind the scenes is we will touch base with venues and make sure that we are working with their restrictions. There's lots of things that couples probably don't even think about when it comes to having decor of any kind in their venue. Pat testing, risk assessments, whether there are allowed fresh petal confetti or whether it has to be paper biodegradable, whether they're going to have real candles, whether they have to be faux LED ones, all those things are part of what we do behind the scenes. After you've left the studio before we come back to you with a price, we will go and do that research so that we really know, and most of the time if they're venues we've worked out, we know anyway, but if the new venue or a new marquee company, we will go and do that work behind the scenes so that we don't come to you with problems. We always come to you with solutions. Yeah, we handle everything. Anything that flowers go in on or around, we have to cover our backs and we will therefore do the research to make sure that we're looking after you. So there are different types of styles, with wedding flowers, with flourish tree. Think of it as an art form. Thatching roses were quite natural, seasonal, aesthetic is a little bit wild and textured. Other fluoresce they might do really well at creating tight balls of roses and a very lux romantic, modern look. When you look at their work, you will see the differences, and to know whether you want that for your wedding, you can't just pick a florist and then ask them to recreate something that is totally not what they do on the daily because that's the area they won't excel at. A florist will naturally excel in their creative comfort zone. Really remember that flowers are part of a much bigger tapestry of your wedding. And for some couples, they absolutely love flowers and they want as many flowers they can squeeze into their day. That great couple by the way, because you're asking a florist to cover a wedding and flowers, we can do that. For other couples, flowers aren't important. They feel like an essential item. They feel like they need flowers and what they need help doing is picking through which ones actually are essential and which ones are nice to do. Part of the inquiry and on boarding process for our clients is that they get centered design questionnaires. That is where we ask some probing questions about how they think their wedding looks in their head, and I'm not just specifically about the flowers because some couples come to us and have no idea what they want the flowers to look like, but they will know whether they want their wedding to be a rustic countryside affair or a black tie do in a country house and we can help. We can then pick through their answers to try and really understand what it is in their brain that they are imagining for their wedding day. Typical focal points for weddings tend to be, and it is venue dependent, every venue is different, your personal flowers so that'd be the broader bouquet, a bridesmaids bouquets, and any partner flower so button holes or additional bridle bouquets because they are in all photos. Even if it's a casual picture of you hugging after a ceremony, there in your hands still after getting married. Those are really super important. And then the bigger focal piece is, can we always say frame the end of the aisle where you stand for your ceremony? Whether it be an arch or a pair of pedestal arrangements. Most of the time the photographs after the wedding are usually down-the-aisle shots in both directions and of you two stood at the end of the aisle getting married, things on chairs, get lost in once all your guests are sat down, doors on the way in. Your guests are going to see them and it's lovely and if your budget allows, great, but if your budget doesn't allow, focus on the end of the aisle. And then when you move through to the reception area, and typically that's up to ten round tables, probably with guests sat round and a long top table is your usual traditional setup. Your guests are going to notice what is in the middle of your guests' tables and they're going to spend a long time two, three hours sat there eating, drinking, enjoying a magician and any other entertainment going on, whilst all those things happen around them and then also your top table, because everybody spends their time looking at you for the speeches and all of those kinds of things, so we recommend spending, budget on guests' tables, and if you've got the room, a focal area around your top table as well. Because again, your photographer is going to capture those moments, your guests enjoying themselves, and you guys enjoying your guests. Those are the key focal areas probably. Quite often couples asked straight away how much wedding flowers are going to cost and it really is a how long is a piece of string kind of question. A wedding in the same venue that has ten guests, could have 10,000 pounds worth of flowers if the couple were to spend that much, or a wedding in the same venue with 100 guests, could have 1,000 pounds worth of flowers if the couple didn't want to spend that much. A really common misconception for couples, when they come to talk about wedding flowers, is they think they need lots of little things. They think they need flowers everywhere. And usually, because of budget, they tend to think lots of little things will add up to create a bigger impact, and actually, it's the opposite. A really good example is Pw ends or chair flowers, loads of couples come to us and they've seen a beautiful picture on Pinterest of an empty ceremony and it's all beautifully edited and every single chair has a bunch of flowers on. Looks great in an empty edited photo shoot picture on Pinterest. But the second that you get Uncle Steve and his flowery shirt and Aunty Susan in a big pink hat and everybody else sat down, those little flowers get lost. That is a big chunk of money when they're added up. Actually, that would be a larger focal piece at the end of the aisle and where our expertise is, we can talk you through that, through trial and error. We know these things. We can also give you ideas that you probably haven't thought about in terms of using items for your ceremony that can then be lifted and moved into your reception space and give you even more bang for your buck if you like, for want of a better phrase. Because we understand the versatility of the venue and we understand the versatility of the items that we create and it might be that you come to us and want a great big arch and we say, "Well actually if we do an arch in this style, you'll still have an arch, but it can be moved by us into your reception space to create a secondary focal point." Those are the kind of conversations you should be open to having with a florist and listening to the ideas that they have about how they can maximize their potential. Really don't water down the floors that you're having by having too many little bitty pieces and really go for a big impact piece. Couples tend to think like, "Oh, there's a horrible sign in the background of the venue, can we cover it with flowers?" Actually, by covering it with flowers, you're drawing an eye to it. If you do a focal piece in a focal area, that's where your guests are going to look and they're not going to see the sign in the corner of the room. That means nothing to them and nothing to the wedding day. Once we've gone through the key items that you think you would like for your day. We will then go away and spend some time on our own with our team. Really creatively dreaming of something bespoke to you. That may involve drawings and unique quotation pricing because nothing is cataloged with us, we are making those prices for you. It's really difficult for a couple whose only question they want the answer to is how much is it going to cost. Well, the answer is at this moment in time, we don't know until we've gone away and imagined your wedding in our head and creatively thought it up and then sat and priced it out, we don't know because we've never done your wedding before. We can give you a ballpark figure based on experience, number of guests, size of venue, the focal points that you're saying that you want, but actually, it is very much a flexible thing. If you're asking a florist to spend money on flowers, the answer is we could spend a lot of money on flowers. But if that isn't where you're going, we can also rein it back and help you make really considered choices about where you do want to spend your budget. My favorite thing to hear from a couple is, we trust you. That gives us the freedom and the safe space to go and actually, we could really pull something out of the bag here and this couple aren't afraid for us to throw some things at them that they've never thought about before and we can then, in the planning process like I said, throw ideas at them that they've never thought about before. But also as the wedding edges closer. I had an example the other day we'd originally talked about one color of fabric on a huge display that we did and actually when the flowers came in and the weather had changed and I looked at it and I thought we can do better than this. I would really think to make that pop and make a really dramatic statement which changed to a different color, and we did, and I said to the couple, "Are you okay with that?" And they said, "Whatever you think. We trust you the most, you know what you're doing. You've done it more times than we have." And it looked absolutely amazing, and it was because they said, we trust you. It gave me the creative space that I needed to look at the bigger picture of their wedding because it's not just about plunking flowers on a table, it's about how the flowers work with the dresses, the dinnerware, the venue itself, the lighting based on the weather outside, it all has to work together as a big puzzle. To be given the trust of a couple to do that is really something special. Those are my ideal clients. Another thing to think about when talking to florists and other suppliers is the level of professionalism that they operate at, and I don't mean that it's all suits and sir and madam, you can still have a relaxed relationship and have that rapport with suppliers. But do they have things in place like terms and conditions, contracts, payment terms? If anything, the last few years of chopping and changing through the wedding industry with COVID and things like that has taught, hopefully, suppliers and hopefully couples, that those things are in place to protect both you as a couple and the business itself. Any professional business should have things in place to protect them, to protect their income, and to make it clear exactly where a couple stands. And it also protects the couple, so that should anything happen that is unforeseen, such as a world pandemic, everybody is looked after and it's very clear where everybody stands, so just bear in mind professionalism and the level at which the supplier operates and that goes for everybody, not just wedding florists. No matter who you choose as a florist for your wedding, as long as you love them stylistically, trust them explicitly as a person, they will do a fabulous job, and most importantly, enjoy the process.