Transcripts
1. Persuasion Introduction: Hi, I'm Mark. I've been an entrepreneur
and business coach for over 20 years and
I've worked with clients such as the
British Home Office, Harvard Business Council, the University of
Cambridge, and many more. There is one skill that I've developed over the
years that has propelled me further forward in my career and life
than any other. And that is effective
communication. In this course, you
will learn about one of the most important communication
skills, persuasion. Have you ever wondered why
some people are so persuasive? While some people
can masterfully move people to make
certain choices, while others can never seem to get anyone
to agree with them. Why are some people
able to command a room while others struggle
just to get their attention. Is it charisma, intelligence? Or as some people just born with a knack for
winning people over. None of those things. It's all about the
art of persuasion. Yes, persuasion is an art. And the good news is
that you can learn it. If you know the
art of persuasion, you can use it to accomplish
so many good things. You can use persuasion
to sell more, get paid, what you're
worth, getting a new job, received well-deserved
vacation days, enhance your relationships and take the driving seat
in your own life. Being a master of persuasion gives you a competitive edge. If all things are equal, being a clear, masterful, persuasive communicator
allows you to stand out from the crowd. It allows your message
to be heard above all other messages and enables you to cut through the
noise to be clear, persuasion is different
to manipulation. Manipulation is using
words and actions to achieve things that
usually are wrong. Persuasion is using words and actions to persuade people
to do things that are good, both for you and them. Persuasion is about
getting what you want and helping others get
what they want to. Persuasion is all about win-win. In this course, I will teach you 16 proven ways to
be more persuasive. By the end of this course, you will have the tools to shape your own future and
achieve your goals, whatever they may be. In our class project, you'll be filling out a
persuasive argument template, which I've included in the
resources of the class. Just fill it out and post
it in the class project. Ready to learn how to be more persuasive? Let's get started.
2. It's All About Them: Ultimately persuasion
is about them, not you. In other words, in
order to be persuasive, you must focus solely on the
other person, not yourself. The first step is to ask
yourself six questions. What are their needs? What are their wants? What are their pain points? What are their desires? What are their hopes, and what are their dreams? Persuasion is ultimately about tapping into the desires
of other people. Persuasion is about
enabling both you and them to achieve
a desired outcome. Remember, we spend
almost all our time thinking about ourselves
and what we want. We spend hours obsessing
over things like our health, love, and financial status. If you want to be persuasive, it's important to put yourself in the other person's shoes. You have to first see
things through their eyes. It's not easy at first. It will take some practice. But as soon as you
start asking yourself a few questions that
I'm about to give you, the sooner you will start building the habit
of persuasion. The questions are, what
do they most want? What are their deepest desires? What do they fear, love, and dream about? The more you can focus
on the other person, the more captivated and easily
persuaded they'll obey. You can't just immediately start talking about what you
want to accomplish. Persuasion starts with
the other person. It's as simple as that. When trying to persuade
someone, speak their language, talk directly to
their desires and speak clearly about
their pain points. Use the words they use. The more you use words and phrases that resonate with them, the more persuasive you obey.
3. Communicate Clearly: Know your argument inside
and out and be able to communicate so clearly that even a seventh grader could understand
what you're saying. There should be no doubt about what you're trying to
persuade others to do. Here's the reality. If you can't communicate
your argument Clearly, you simply won't be
able to persuade others to see your
point of view. If your argument is
muddled, convoluted, or confused, you'll have trouble getting anyone
to agree with you. The clearer you are
about your argument, the greater the odds of
success in persuading them. For example, let's say
you're applying for a new job that you believe is the perfect fit for
your skillsets. If you can communicate
in a clear, persuasive manner
with the interviewer, there's a much
higher probability that you'll get the job. This implies that if you
want to be persuasive, you need to prepare
ahead of time. Preparation is key. It's important to know
what you are going to say, how you're going to say it, how you're going to appropriately
respond to objections. The more prepared you are, the more you'll be able to
communicate in a clear, concise, and compelling
manner comfortably. On the other hand, if you
fail to take time to prepare, you probably won't be
very persuasive at all.
4. Start Small: Now let's get into
some of the lesser known elements of persuasion. As you stack these on
top of each other, you'll become
increasingly persuasive. Research has shown
that if you can get people to agree with
you on small things, there's a much higher probability
that you can eventually get them to agree with you
on much larger issues. They use this a lot in upsells through sales, which
you've agreed to buy. One product is easy to sell you another
product on top of it. If you can create a sense of mutual agreement
around small points, get people nodding their heads
early in the conversation. Generate consensus on lesser
parts of your argument. You'll have a much better
chance of generating agreement around bigger,
stickier issues. The implication is
that instead of going straight to the
heart of your argument, more beneficial
to start off with statements that you know the other person
will agree with. Don't immediately
bring up the biggest, most important parts
of your argument. Start small, build up
slowly to your main points after you've gotten
them to agree with much smaller, less
significant points. This allows you to
build a foundation of trust and agreement. This also implies
that if possible, you should avoid making controversial statements
in the beginning. Even if the
controversial statements are important to you, you don't want to start
off on the wrong foot. You want to begin with
mutual agreement. If you begin with disagreement, it's going to be much harder
for you to get a person to eventually agree with anything
from the very beginning, you'll have a posture of
suspicion and cynicism. You want to get people nodding their heads right
from the beginning.
5. Be Authentic: Few things turn people off
like a lack of authenticity. No one likes to feel like
they're being lied to deceived, being put on as if they
had been hoodwinked. That a person is not being
totally honest with them. No one wants to feel like
the other person has ulterior motives and
trying to help them. We want to know that
someone is telling us the truth and being
real with us. There's a reason that
used car salespeople, how such a bad reputation. They don't seem authentic. They seem like all
they care about is getting you to
purchase a car. They don't have a
real human concern for your well-being
or your desires. They just want to
make their money and send you on their way. This might be a stereotype, but stereotypes are
often based in truth. The simple truth
is that we really want people to be authentic
and real withers. People can tell when
you're not being yourself, you just putting
on a show or you really care about is
winning an argument. When people sense a
lack of authenticity, it makes it much more
difficult to persuade them. They simply won't trust you and won't buy into
anything you're saying. If you want to persuade others and get them to come
over to your side, it's important to be yourself, be true, and be authentic. You need to
communicate honestly. The reality is that authenticity is always more persuasive. Authenticity wins the day.
6. Use Reciprocity: Reciprocity is a powerful tool
in the art of persuasion. The reciprocity principle is the idea that if I do
something for you, you feel compelled to
do something in return. It's the old adage of you scratch my back,
I'll scratch yours. A very simple example
is when waiters put a mint and a personalized
thank you on the check, that very small gesture can make people feel like they
should leave a larger tip. As master persuader, Robert
Cialdini says, simply put, people are obliged
to give back to others in the form of behavior, gift, or service that
they have received. First, if a friend invites
you to their party, there's an obligation
for you to invite them to a future party
you are hosting. If a colleague does you a favor, then you owe that
colleague a favor back. In the context of a
social obligation, people are more likely to say
yes to those who they owe. You can use the principle of reciprocity to more
effectively persuade people. If you can give something
to someone a value, there's a much greater
chance that they'll feel a sense of
obligation to you. They'll feel like they should give you something in return. There's a greater
chance that you can persuade them to come
over to your side. Even something as simple
as a compliment can go a long way in terms of getting someone to come
over to your side. This is one reason why persuasion is different
than manipulation. With persuasion, you're
actually seeking to add value to the person you
are trying to persuade. You're not just trying
to get your own way.
7. Effective Patterns Of Speech: It turns out there's
actually some science behind the stereotype of the
fast talking salesman. Research has
demonstrated that in situations where someone
will disagree with you, it's better to speak faster. Why? Because it gives them less time to come up with
counter arguments. This in turn makes it easier
for you to persuade them. To be clear, don't
speak so fast that a person has trouble
following your argument. You still need to be clear and easy to follow when
communicating. But if you can add
a bit of speech, your arguments, you may have an easier time
persuading a person. On the flip side, if a person is more inclined
to agree with you, speak more slowly, give them time to evaluate
what you're saying. Give them time to
process and see that your arguments actually line
up with what they believe. They are already more
inclined to agree with you. And when you give them time
to process your arguments, it only increases the odds
of you persuading them. Speak faster when they're less likely to
agree with you and speak slowly when they're
already somewhat on your side.
8. Create Scarcity: The simple truth is that people want what
they can't have. And if you can create a sense of scarcity around
your proposition, there's a much greater chance
of you persuading them. You see this in sales all of the time and it's
effective on websites. You see countdown
timers, installs, you'll see for a
limited time only, putting some sort of restriction
on what you're offering. This restriction often creates a sense of urgency
within a person. They feel like they need to
take action on the offer, although miss out on something. It's the classic case of
fear of missing out or FOMO. The scarce or something fails, the more people want
to get in on it. A classic example of
scarcity is when Disney would say that they were putting a movie back in the vault. They were saying that if you didn't buy the
movie immediately, you might not be able to get
it for many years to come. The results was that people
bought the movie. Why? They were afraid they
wouldn't have another chance. Was Disney really putting
the movie back in the vault? Yes. They knew that if
they announced it shortly before they put it away, it would create a sense
of scarcity and there would be a surge of
people buying it. They were art. There are numerous ways that
you can create scarcity, including limiting how many
of something you're offering, highlighting what
a person will miss out on if they don't
accept your offer, putting a time limit on when someone can get
in on your offer, adding bonuses that they can only get if they
act straightaway. Again, to quote Robert Cialdini, it's not enough simply
to tell people about the benefits they'll gain if they choose your
products or services. You'll also need to point
out what is unique about your proposition and
what they stand to lose if they fail to
consider your proposition.
9. Be Very Confident: Not surprisingly, people
are persuaded more by confidence than by expertise. In other words, they
tend to be more persuaded emotionally
than logically. If you've come
across as confident, you'll be more persuasive. On the flip side, you might have all the facts in your may
have prepared your argument, but if you're not confident, you won't be persuasive. But this can be good news. It means you don't have
to be an expert in something in order to
persuade a person. Rather, you simply need to be very confident in
your presentation. Be bold when you're
presenting your arguments. Avoid hedging them
or qualifying them with phrases like I
think or I believe, don't waffle or go back and forth when presenting
your point. Present your argument
with 100% confidence. The more confident you are when presenting your arguments, the more likely you are
to persuade someone. Be bold and enthusiastic, even if you're not an expert
on a particular topic, the key is that you truly
believe what you are saying. If you have strong convictions
about a particular point, you can be bold and confident. You don't need to have every
fact at your disposal. You simply need to have a conviction regarding the
truth of your arguments. When somebody believes that you believe in what
you're saying, you're gonna be much
more persuasive. So be bold and courageous
with your arguments. Even if you don't
feel like an expert.
10. Paint A Vivid Picture: It's hard to overstate the importance of
painting a vivid picture. When trying to persuade
someone, use vivid imagery, avoid the temptation to
simply bombard them with statistics and evidence that your argument is
the correct one. Rather appeal to their emotions instead of primarily
using logic, show them how your
argument leads to a better outcome
for both of you. Paint a vivid emotional
picture of the outcome. Appeal to their desire
for a better life. They say that a picture is
worth a thousand words. You could also say
that a picture is worth a 1000 persuasion points. The truth is that
people are much less rational than they think. They are much more driven by their emotions and their
subconscious desires. The more you can appeal to
someone on an emotional level, the more persuasive you'll be. For example, let's say you're asking your boss for a pay rise. Paint a picture
of how a pay rise will help you be less
stressed about money. How you'll be a much more
productive employee, since you're not
worried about money. Don't simply talk
about how you deserve a raise because of the work
that you already put in. Your boss will be much
more convinced if you can appeal to him or her
on an emotional, instinctual level than if you simply appeal
based on the facts. Your overall goal is to paint
a picture of the good life. You want to show others how the ultimate outcome of your argument is
truly good for them. The more you can paint
a vivid picture of how you can help someone
achieve the good life. The greater the chances
are you persuading them.
11. Consider Your Audience: All of us have different
learning styles and ways of thinking
through information. Some people make quick
instinctive gut decisions. Other people prefer to think
things through slowly. Some people who are
verbal processes, although they prefer to
process everything internally, when attempting to
persuade someone, is essential to consider how
they process information. If they need time to
digest what you're saying, avoid pressuring them to
make a decision immediately. Give them time to
think, process, and work through any
objections they may have. Layout your arguments, then step back and let them work
through things in their mind. The more you try to press
them to make a decision, the more likely they'll push back and won't agree with you. On the other hand, if someone tends to make snap decisions, you have more freedom to press them for a decision
in the moment. You know that they make more emotional,
instinctual decisions. And so you can urge them to
decide right in the moment. The key is to know
your audience. If you don't know your audience, you won't know the best way
to present your information. You may push for decision when really they need
more time to think. Just do some homework, do some research, and find out who you're
actually talking to. The best way to do this is
to prepare in advance and work out who the type of person is that you'll
be talking to. If you do that, you'll have a much better chance
of persuading them.
12. Acknowledge and Overcome Objections : There's no way
around the fact that your audience will
have objections. No matter how
persuasive you are, no matter how well you
know your audience, there will always be objections
in one form or another. It's simply human nature. When you're speaking to someone, they'll inevitably
have objections to various things you say
that's 100% normal. Avoid ignoring those objections, rather, take advantage of them. Use them to increase your
overall persuasiveness. Instead of skirting around
a person's objections, speak directly to them. When you can speak directly
to a person's objections, it adds a more authentic
human elements to your presentation. It shows them that you
understand their objections, that you sympathize with them, and that you want to
help overcome them. Doing mess will significantly increase your level
of persuasiveness. And research backs this up. Daniel O'Keefe, a professor at the
University of Illinois, says that discussing
other opinions that may not agree with yours is more persuasive than not addressing
the objections at all. In other words, the
more you're willing to speak about objections
within reason, the more you will resonate with your audience when you address your
audience's objections, they feel like you understand their pain points and you
have the solution for them. Contrast this with someone who simply plows ahead
with their arguments, never stopping to acknowledge the questions or challenges
or person may have. If you never speak to the
objections of your audience, they'll feel like you don't
really understand them. Like he'd don't get them.
Like you don't care. There'll be much less likely to buy into anything
you are arguing. Always plan ahead. Workout what objections may be raised by your audience and
have the answers ready. If all else fails, you can use the old sales trek to address their objections. The three Fs feel, felt found. For example, I like
to go on trips to India and I want to convince others that it's a
good place to go. People might say, Oh,
I couldn't go there. It's so overcrowded. And we can implement the
three Fs where you say, I know how you feel, I felt the same way. But what I found
was when we say I know how you feel, it
establishes empathy. When you say, I felt the same way, that
establishes kinship. And when you say,
but what I found was you're establishing
authority through experience. And when we put it together, it's something like this. I know how you feel.
I felt the same way. But what I found was that
when you're actually there, there is so much
beautiful countryside that it never fails crowded. And even when you do
go to the cities, that people are so friendly
that it's never a problem. Another objection might be, Oh, I could never go to India. The flight is too long. You can use the same technique. I know how you feel. I felt the same way. But what I found was that the long haul flights are much more comfortable
than domestic flights. The entertainment is
excellent and you get some time to yourself
to relax and unwind. Really a refreshing experience.
13. Speak in Positives: Generally speaking, people don't respond well to negative speech. And the reality is that
when speaking about change, It's easy to unintentionally speak in negative terms
instead of positive. We can frame things in a negative light rather
than highlighting all the positives
of our argument is much more persuasive to
use positive language. The negative, the more
positive you are, the more likely you
are to win someone over to your side
of the argument. For example, instead of saying, you'll feel less tired, which is a negative, say, you'll feel full of energy. Instead of saying, you'll
stop being underpaid, say you'll finally
be getting paid, what you're truly worth. You can feel the
difference between those two different ways of saying those statements
straightaway. The first set of options puts
things in a negative light, buy paint a negative picture, and portray things as
becoming less bad. The second set of
options frame things in a positive light and portray things has becoming
so much better. The simple truth is that
positive language tends to be much more persuasive
than scare tactics. Why? The research suggests that it's because people
don't like to feel like they're being bullied
or guilt it into change. No one likes to be pressured
into making a decision. If you paint things in a
negative light or this can feel like you're trying to
pressure them. In some ways. This goes back to
being able to paint a vivid picture
of the good life, speaking positives and
help others and vision how wonderful their lives will be when they embrace
your solution. Instead of scaring them into doing something that
they don't want, give them the option to take hold of something
that they do want. Help them see that not only will your solution eliminate the negatives that
they're facing, but we'll also bring
a large number of positive things
into their lives.
14. Match Body Language: When we speak, we
don't just use words. We also communicate volumes of information through the
body language that we use. In fact, you could say
that body language is just as important
as verbal language. One simple yet highly persuasive
method of communicating is to mirror and match the body language of the
person you're speaking with. In other words, try to
generally use the same type of body language and voice of the person you are
trying to persuade. Obviously you don't want to
exactly mimic that person. You want to generally mirror back the
language they're using. Thorin class gay
puts it this way. Instead of arguing your points
in your own private way, mirror the person you're
talking to in body language, speed of your voice, volume, and even
your word choice. You need to be subtle
when doing this. But it's a subconscious
way to make the person you're speaking
with more comfortable. If they use hand gestures, like I do, use hand
gestures yourself. If they sit up straight, try to match their posture. Attempt to match your
tone with theirs, as well as the speaking speed. This may seem a bit odd, but it's a simple way of
building rapport with a person by mirroring a
person's body language, you show that you are actively
paying attention to them. You want to
communicate with them in a manner that's meaningful.
15. Notice What Matters: As you speak to someone, listen carefully to
what they're saying and take notice of what is
most important to them. What words and phrases
do they repeatedly used? What subjects come
up again and again? Or are there certain
pain points or struggles that they
regularly speak about? These things are signals regarding what really
matters to them. Once you've identified
the words and phrases or person
repeatedly uses, speak those same
words and phrases back to them throughout
the conversation. For example, if you
are speaking with your spouse and they consistently use the
words quality time, use those same words yourself. Talk about how you want to
spend quality time with them. This makes them feel like you understand what
they're saying and are working toward a
positive solution that makes both of you happy. Remember, persuasion is about creating win-win scenarios for both you and the person
you're trying to persuade by speaking the
same words back to a person. You show that you're
an active listener and truly want to understand
what they're saying. You demonstrate that
you're actually listening and not just waiting
to make your own points. This enables you to build a
strong rapport with a person, which in turn makes
you more persuasive.
16. Demonstrate Your Authority: People tend to respond to
all authority and expertise. If someone is a proven expert
in a field were more likely to trust what they have to say and be persuaded
by their arguments. So if you have expertise or authority in a particular
topic, show it off. No, you're not
bragging or boasting. You'll simply telling
others that you're qualified to speak about
a particular subject. You're showing them that you're trustworthy and that they should listen to your arguments. If you have a diploma,
hang it on your wall. If you've won awards, put them in your bio. Have you been featured in
prominent publications? Highlight those publications
where possible. Do have years of
experience in your field. Let everyone know it benefits you to prove that you
know what you're doing and are an expert in your
field that you've put in the work and actually know
what you're talking about. When you combine the
confidence mentioned before with proven expertise, it can be incredibly persuasive. Confidence plus expertise
equals persuasion. The more you can show off and
demonstrate your expertise, the more likely you are to persuade someone to
your point of view.
17. Be Right : Yes, it's important to
frame messages the proper way to focus on positives
and create scarcity. Yes, you should be confident and demonstrate your expertise
and a given subject. You also want to mirror a person's body language
and speech patterns. But ultimately, persuasion
goes beyond these things. In the end, you
need to be right, or at least truly
believe you are. Otherwise, you're simply
trying to persuade someone to believe something that's
fundamentally false, it's much more difficult to be persuasive if you don't truly believe in
what you're saying. If you know that you're
communicating a lie, how can you be
confident when you are convinced that your
argument is correct? It's so much easier
to be confident. Do the hard work of ensuring that your
reasoning is sound, your conclusions are accurate and your points are logical. Avoid being sloppy when putting together your
thoughts and arguments. Avoid cutting corners as
you anticipate objections. Others can tell when you
haven't put in the work. They can detect when you don't truly believe
what you're saying. The main point is you want
your arguments to be correct.
18. Conclusion: We've covered quite a lot of
ground in the short course. We've talked about focusing
on them and not you. Communicating your
arguments clearly. Starting with small
areas of agreement, being authentic using the
principle of reciprocity, using appropriate
patterns of speech, creating scarcity and
a fear of missing out. Being confident when you
present your information. Painting a vivid
picture of benefits. Considering how your audience
processes information, acknowledging and
overcoming objections, matching the body language of the person you're
speaking with, noticing what matters
most to a person, demonstrating your
expertise where possible, and being right in the end, you don't have to implement
all these things at one time. Each one of these principles is powerful in its own right. But the more you can stack
them on top of each other, the more persuasive you'll be. Persuasion is an
incredibly powerful thing. If you master the
art of persuasion, you have the ability
to live a much happier, healthier,
fulfilled life. It's one of the few things that allows you to get
more of what you want while still helping others
to get what they want to? Yes, learning to be
persuasive takes some work, it will take some
practice and you'll have to practically get out
there and test it out. It takes work to
listen carefully to a person so that you can
understand what they truly want. It takes work to master your arguments and be able
to communicate them clearly. It takes work to acknowledge
and overcome objections, but in the end, it's worth it. Few things are more
powerful than being able to persuade others that your
argument is correct. So learn the art of persuasion. Practice. What you've learned today. You'll be happy or
those will be happy to. It's truly a win-win situation. Well, that brings us to
the end of this course. Don't forget to fill out the persuasive argument
template that I've left in the resources and post it here in
the class project. I'd like to wish you the
very best for the future, and I hope to see you
on another course soon.
Marc Hamill, CEO of The Success Bureau
