Transcripts
1. Introduction: If you've been out
in public before, you've probably had the
desire to do something. Maybe it's something like even at the club
and you wanted to bust out a dance move or maybe he just wanted
to go speak to somebody. But because of the
fear of what other people around you may
think about it, you don't. You will solve it
and you go home. Regretting not doing. Maybe you wanted to
approach a goal, you thought it was attractive. Or maybe you just wanted
to start a conversation, or maybe you wanted to just
mess around a little bit. I have a bit of fun,
but you were too uptight about what other people, other strange is that you may, that you don't even know what they may or may
not think about you. They may give you a
way to look that has stopped you from doing what
you really wanted to do. If that's a problem
that you suffered with and you want
to overcome that, then that's exactly
what we're going to tackle in this course. That is the exact thing
we're going to get over that social anxiety of what other people
may think about you. You can act however you want
and as free as you want. I'll see you guys in
the first lesson.
2. Why do we care?: Now before we can
really get good at not carrying it all and just being able to
do whatever we want. The first thing we
have to understand is, why do we care? Why do we care about what people may or may
not think about us? It's annoying because
in your mind, do you know that
nothing bad will happen if you do that thing, nothing will really happen. But it's the, it's the thought that something might
that stops us. Now the reason to why we
care is quite simple. Where people were inclined to. We're social animals,
that's how we're built. Your mind is telling
you not to do thing X, because doing thing X may
alter how you're perceived. It's a defense mechanism. It keeps me protected. It keeps you in
your comfort zone. But we wanted to be
somebody who can grow. We want to be somebody
you could take our lives to the next level. Now, in the past, this defense mechanism
was very helpful when we were tribes hunting for food. That defense mechanism
was natural. It kept us safe. It
kept us not doing stupid things that would
potentially endanger ourselves. That fight or flight reaction. That's what it is. It's a fight or flight reaction
that's kind of what it is in the modern era. But we're not already
endangered like that anymore. Now it becomes more
of a hindrance. It's actually going to stop you from doing what
you really want to do. It's going to stop
you from really expressing yourself and
how you really want to be. It prevents your, prevents you. Now, that is the
reason why we care. It's been ingrained in our
DNA naturally as people. Now we need to figure out how to deactivate it and how we can really start to diverge
away from this act. How we want to not care as much. Let's look at that
in more detail in the next video,
I'll see you guys.
3. How to unwind the fear in your head: How to unwind the
fit in your head. Now, what's interesting about this is that I'm gonna give you an experiment
to start off with. Let's say you're in
a shopping mall, or let's say you are at the train station and
you'll just start, you're just waiting
for the train, okay? Now, I guarantee you
that most people care so much about what other people may
think about them, that they don't have the
confidence to just do this. Leave their hands
for 20 seconds. They are so scared that they're gonna be
looked at as a weirdo. They can't even do this. They can't even do that. Do you know saying that
needs to be tackled? That's your mind
playing tricks on you. That's your mind
overthinking everything. You don't even have the
ability to just do this. Like it's a lot of people around walk like this
for ten seconds. Yes, people are gonna
look at you weirdly. People are gonna think,
What is this guy doing? And it stops there. Do you understand
that in the past, these thoughts would be
a survival mechanism, but now they're just irrational. Now the counter, what
you really want to do, we need to really figure
out how we can get these thoughts to go away. And I'm gonna give
you a spoiler. They're never gonna go away even now I get the thought that
people don't think about. Do you know what I say? You know what I said
is that thought? I say. So Well, let them think I'm a weirdo. Because at the end of the
day, you have this one voice. It's very irrational
and you have to learn to deal with it
with the rationalist. You need to have this, this is currently, this
is a rational voice. This is the rational one. This is where I
currently starts. It doesn't massive
imbalance overtime, it becomes narrower and narrower and eventually
it'll list one has to overtake now are all the time and may end up getting like this where it
switches in-between. But for most people, when
they start right down here, they start right down
there where they're irrational voice is
just overpowering it so much that they are
literally crippled when it comes to pushing
themselves socially. The way that you do this is you purposely
embarrass yourself. That sounds really weird. Okay, That sounds really weird. But let me tell you that when you purposely
embarrass yourself, you don't take things
seriously anymore. You learn to let loose. You don't need drug, you don't need alcohol. You just need to work on your
mind and your mental space. That's how you do it in a way that isn't
detrimental to your life. And actually what it does is it adds so much
value to your life. So I'm gonna give
you that example. We're holding our hands
up and over 20 seconds, people are gonna
think your weight. That's the thought
you're gonna have. You're gonna have
the thought that people are going to
think that way too. Now this is a thought
that I have in my mind that I used
to counter it. Okay. They're gonna think, I'm weird. Am I going to get
hurt from doing this? The answer is no. It's
anyone else gonna get hot. The answer is no. What
do I gain from it? I socially push myself. It may seem kind of weird. That is socially pushing myself. But you are slowly
moving into somebody who doesn't care what
they think as much, you still have the full above. What I'm getting at is
that the thought of what people may or may
not think about you will not be as overpower. You will learn to
overpower that thought. You'll always care
to some extent, but you can learn to
overpower our thought and that is what this is all about. That is what this is about. So in that example of
holding my hands up, I'll come back to
that right now. I would say that this is a
bit uncomfortable for me. If it's a bit
uncomfortable for you, if it makes you cringe a little bit when you
think about doing it, that is why you have to do
it as that is how you grow. When you feed a little bit, cringe about doing a
certain thing in public. That isn't you have to
do when you feel a bit uncomfortable about doing
that thing in public. That is when you have to do it. And what I say to myself is
that I'm gonna do this thing. People are going to probably
think it's a bit with, and then they're going to
forget about it in ten minutes. They're going to forget
about it in five-minutes. Because guess what? Everyone is the main
character in their own movie. Every one is the main
character in their own life. No one is really
watching you brought no one really cares
what you're doing. You can do this as spin
around in circles. People will think you're
a lunatic and that's it. But guess what? Most people haven't got the
self confidence to do that. When you're able to do that, when you're able to take
yourself as a bit of a joke, mess around a little bit. It gives you so
much more freedom. It gives you so much more for
you to understand that you know what people aren't
that interested in you. Even if they are, they're
probably going to forget in about five minutes. This rationale, this sphere. It just doesn't make
sense logically, it doesn't make sense. If you're still fine, his fear, this impulse. You're like, I want
to do it but I can't. Maybe you're in the
club and you want to thoughts and you're scared if people would laugh
at you and everything. Yeah, There's thoughts
are never gonna go away, but you can overpower them. That's what this is all about. If you want some
extra motivation on this in the next lesson, I'm going to go over a
little bit more on this, but just to summarize
this lesson, okay? You're going to have
an irrational side. You're going to have
a rational side. When you stop. How everyone's thoughts,
how I started is the irrational one is always,
always overpowering it. What you have to do is you
have to compensate with your rational side and give the council argument on why
this is going to help you. You convince yourself with that. You convince yourself with your other persons are
pushed themselves socially. That's why I did. That's
why I did and it worked. And it is working and
I'm getting better. And eventually the rational side starts to almost equalize. And you'll have moments when you feel like
you can do anything. I don't have moments
where you didn't really feel like it and it will often like
sway like this. I'm here right now who are sometimes I feel like
I'm ready can do it. And others, I didn't really
feel like it at all. But it started to
come like this. Say it's rising and then
let's kinda like this. Then slowly, slowly, the rational one just
gets farther and farther away until
it's always winning. And so it's always overpowering. I hold that concept makes sense. In the next lesson. I'm going to give you
guys more reasons on why. Why do you need to
welcome this far and how an extra motivation to really
push through the fear. Because I'm telling
you this is one of the things that made
me grow as a person, unlike anything else,
and made me grow. It forced me to
become more socially, socially able, more
socially mobile. I can just say, I can feel, I can do more of what I
wanted to do without filter, without a facade, or I can
just be how I want to be. I'll see you guys
in the next lesson.
4. There is a rush to improve (Rejection is better than regret): One of the biggest
motivations that I've had to level up the skill. Level up its ability to not be influenced by what
other people think or may not think
is to fear that, you know what I haven't got
all the time in the water. I haven't got the luxury. We haven't got the
luxury to wish. We have to take action. Do you know why rejection
is better than regret? I wanted to write
that down on a piece of paper five times. Rejection is better than regret. When I say rejection, I mean, in the concept of socializing, rejection, rejection can be
people thinking you're weird. It is better to try and to fail them to not try all 100%
and it's not even failing. People thinking you're
weird is not failing. Failing, I believe
is not even trying, not even having
the will to do it. Because that regret linger in your mind for the
rest of your life. The what if what if I became more confident person that
will torment you for the rest, your life already
started to torment me. That voice got so loud, that voiceover Greg got so large that it forced
me to take action. It forced me to push myself. And it should force you
to do the same thing. That's how to do it. You have to force
yourself to push. In these situations where you
don't feel like doing it. That's the only way you can grow because they
were getting older, man, we're getting older. I'm nearly 19. I'm going to be 19
years old soon. I'm going to be 19
and I'm gonna be 24. I know what, I'm
going to be 25 or 30. And I would've had all
these opportunities throughout my life that I
could have pushed myself, but I didn't guess
what when I get down, I'm going to kick myself. Then we'll opportunities
when I was 1516 but didn't take it
because I was too scared. Guess what? I don't want that
to happen anymore. I don't want that to
happen to you either. You have the white cop. You have to wake up and be
like, You know what? The person I wanted to be. I wanted to be that classic
confident person who can do what he wants
to say, what he wants, acts freely without
facadism, without, without a front on, I can just act how I want. If you want to be
that person and you have to make it happen, you have to consciously
make it happen. Otherwise, you'll live with the eternal regret not
being the guy who did that. And it will know your
professional life. The best time to
start was yesterday. The second best time is now. The final lesson. I'm going to give you guys some practical steps to start implementing
this in your own life. Let's take a look at that.
And also you can take the project description to see practical steps of what we
can start doing right now. See you guys.
5. Closing tips and final steps to take: My closing thoughts, not
closing tips for you guys. Now if you've gone
through all the course, thank you for having to look. I hope it's been helpful. And what should you do now? You understand the theory, you understand the
reason of why do we need to work on this and how
we're gonna work on this. I'll give you a bit
more detail on that. How are we going
to welcome this? The way that I did it was I purposely embarrassed
myself in public. That is how I did. It. Sounds kind of weird. I know sounds a bit weird. Sounds a bit like, why
would you ever do that? Well, the way you do this is you progressively overload how
embarrassing situation is. Now, for example, setting easiest to start is just put
your hands up like this, as we said, in public. Walk around with your
hands like this, we'll go on with your hands. So I just decided you
arms either side, you pick, we're
gonna look at you. It may seem a bit
embarrassing, but guess what? You end up not carrying as much. You use something that is a
bit more embarrassing in a bit more and you build it up. So you're home at the
level that I'm at once as like a dare almost
for YouTube video, what I did was I went on
the escalator is coming down like a shopping mall and I got my phone out and
I pretend that I was logging and I was like,
What sub YouTube. Welcome back to my either
that as a joke, right? And it was about a good
101520 people looking at me. I didn't quite loudly, and yes, that was
very embarrassing. But guess what? Guess what? I socially pushed myself
in that instance. Most people can't do that.
It will set you apart. You learn to let loose a
little bit and take things so seriously learned to enjoy
yourself a little bit more. Enjoy the little
things in life of him. We get a bit more fun
now saying, yeah, it needs to drink, drugs, anything you can just,
you can just have fun just being yourself. That's what this does. It allows you to just
have fun being yourself like when you are out in public. Just something as simple as going for a fist
bump with a stranger. They may, they may
not reciprocate, they may just ignore
it and walk away. May look a bit embarrassing. What, who cares? Who really cares about as a try and fail
than not try at all. I wholeheartedly agree that what you need to do is
you need to socially overload how
embarrassing each thing is until you work
your way out and eventually things like
become embarrassing anymore. I can go talk to a
stranger than normally. I'll be like, Okay,
so what, who cares? Get on with your life whenever
the luxury to think of? What if they say no? What if they say,
Well, what if they think I were who cares, bro? Do what you wanted to do? Because that's what Mark
has. At the end of the day. If you've found this helpful, check out my YouTube channel
where I actually demonstrate doing these embarrassing
things and just having fun with people,
having fun with the public. That's what I do on my channel. I tried to do it in a way that's entertaining
and educational. You can join the
Discord server below. I'll leave all the
links, everything. I hope you guys
found this helpful. Check out my other courses if
you're interested and I'll see you guys in the next one. Take care.
Hasan Siraj, Self-Improvement Coach
