First Time Manager's Crash Course: Part 1 - Self Awareness

1. Lesson 1: Introduction: Hi, My name's Rebecca LV and welcome to the first time managers crash course I remember so clearly. My first day as a new manager, I walked into the office. I knew a couple of people, but most were strangers, and I swear they were all steering it may and thinking. Who does she think she is? What does she think she's doing? She won't last long. I didn't know it at the time, but this is something that almost every first time manager feels it has a formal psychological name. It's called imposter syndrome. It's an irrational fear and irrational fear. You're about to be discovered. Is no actually being qualified to do the thing to do the job? Whatever it might be that at any minute someone is going to say, Hey, you, how did you get in here? That's the good news. The bad news is just knowing it has a name, and that it's really common doesn't make it go away. This course is designed to help most people arrive at the first managerial role because they were good at the previous job, often a technical or service role in the same organization. But those very same skills that helps you stand out and get promoted to management aren't usually the skills that will make you a successful manager. The sort course six defects fixed there. We're going to cover a range of foundational skills and knowledge that will help you get off to the beast. Possible start and your leadership career. We'll do this by creating a simple framework and using a bullet journal as the basic tool for development. Why Bullet journaling? I've been a manager for about 18 years now and after a great deal of trial and era index cards, diaries, Elektronik tools like Evernote and trail Oh, I've found bullet drooling to be the most effective method for keeping track of my practice for reflecting for planning, for documenting, for prioritizing and for trekking achievement, it offers maximum flexibility with minimal complexity. The greatest gift I can give you the most valuable thing I know about management is this approach, and you'll have the opportunity to sit of that right from the beginning of your management . Juni. I just know it will serve you well. I'm super excited about supporting you to launch your management. Korea. Let's get started 2. Lesson 2: Why You? Why Me?: So at this point, you've probably got a couple of questions. Who is this course four. And why is she qualified to teach? Well, this course is for anyone who aspires to manage other people with their in a formal management or team leadership role, or is a project manager without ongoing human resource management responsibility. More importantly, it's for those who have just Bean or are about to be appointed to one of those roles and are a little bit anxious about what's involved, because the reality is there's quite a lot of a lot involved, most of which nobody ever tells you. Sure, there are some really top notch employers who have got great guides, manuals and training programs for these things. But in the main, most managers have forgotten all the things they luhnd when they first started or worse, they remember that they had to figure it out on their own, and they think you should have to do the same like a kind of hazing that nobody ever talks about. I don't think that's good enough. I think you should have access to the tools you need to be successful and maybe more importantly, I think the individual contributors you're about to become responsible for deserve you to have access to those tools. After all, it's their working lives that you're going to impact if you don't. So what qualifies me to teach you? First and foremost, I've bean exactly where you are. I got my first management job and nobody told me anything that about what was involved. I had to figure it out myself. Luckily for May, leadership was already in area I was interested in and had worked and from a theoretical perspective. But that's no help humpbacks, the myriad of practical things you need to understand and figure out. So I started my first film formal management role in 2012 and within three years I was appointed to my first chief executive position. I figure I must have done a few things right along the way. I have a master's degree in strategic studies and degrees in business administration and psychology. I've worked in human resources, employment relations and of over scenes in pretty big I T projects. If you want to see my CV, you're welcome to check out my LinkedIn profile is a link to it under my teacher profile Today, I'm responsible for an organization of approximately 80 people, and I've coached and mean toward managers at all levels of experience and seniority. I also write about personal development and leadership. It will be care l v dot com There's not much I haven't seen, and I know that working together you're going to be successful in your new role. 3. Lesson 3: Management Model: in this. Listen, I'm going to introduce to you a very simple model for effective leadership. Now I hear you say effective leadership. This is a course about becoming a manager. Weed is leadership fit into the picture. Great. That's a question you should be asking. You remember those vin diagrams you learned at school the overlapping circles to describe seats of things? Well, leadership and management are like that. Management and leadership at two different things, and they can overlap. They should overlap. In fact, I see it as part of my life's mission to get those two circles toe overlap a heck of a lot more than they do at the moment. But anyway, what you need to know is that no all managers are leaders. And no, all leaders are managers, but that managers should aspire to be leaders. Leaders don't need to aspire to managers, but some do, and that's cool. So what's the difference between the two? Well, management is largely concerned with systems and processes and compliance planning reporting counting. In effect, management is a set of organization or systems and procedures that have been set up to create some order out of what would otherwise be chaos. A manager's job, among other things, is to ensure that the A part of the system behaves in the way that it's supposed to and in some way. And she was that the reset of the system knows that this part of the system is behaving correctly. This makes organizational systems systems quite change averse. The systems and procedures don't lean themselves well to change. This frustrates leaders. Leaders are interested in change. They see what is possible. They can see innovation and ideas in opportunities, and they try to get other people to see them, too. And in so doing, they hope to create change. It doesn't matter whether it's big or small. It could be a subtle improvement to a process that improves productivity. Or it could be an entirely new product or service. It could be a new approach to customer service, or it could be branching out and into an entirely new market segment. Managers who aunt laters generally prefer to play it safe. Leaders who aren't managers get very frustrated by all the rules and regulations. If they're in unemployment context, many are off out the world being entrepreneurs or activists managers who are also leaders get to play the best of both worlds. They can work within the system to change the system. They can help people find ways to be comfortable with change by explaining how it will work and what impact it will have on them managers who our leaders are much more valuable to an organization than those who are not. So the purpose of this course is not to teach you your organization's rules and regulations . I don't know what they are, and chances are your organization has that covered. If they don't, you're entitled to ask them to help you. The purpose of this course is to teach you how to bridge the gap between management and leadership without falling foul of during the basics off your management role. I use a pretty simple model to do this, and this course is divided up According to that model, self awareness plus influence plus delivering results equals effective leadership. Self awareness is about knowing who you are, what your strengths and weaknesses are and understanding how you impact on other people. Influence is about becoming intentional about your impact on others so that you can help them be motivated to do what the organization needs them to do, and delivering results is the actual impact of what you do. If you do these three things consistently well, you'll become ineffective later. Awesome, Let's get started. 4. Lesson 4: Course Project: virtually everything you do is a manager. Require some form of documentation planning prioritizing notes from meetings, providing feedback, receiving feedback, training sessions, recording decisions you've made, capturing actions you need to perform self reflection. Personal development. Coaching. After trying a vast array of different options for doing this analog and digital, I've developed an approach to bullet journaling that I know will work for you. It's flexible, simple and, most importantly, creates a valuable reference tool for those times. You need to check back to see what happened before we start, though here are a couple of quick things that you need to think about as a manager, you will be privy to information about your organization and your colleagues. You need to be much you need to ensure that you are always mindful of this. Don't put your name inside the front cover or even the name of your organization. I usually just put my mobile phone number so that if I misplaced my journal, there is some chance it will find its way back to me. Use initials instead of people's names. Be thoughtful about how much detail you capture about sensitive topics. You just need enough to trigger your memory of what happened. For example, you could put see file note dated Eaks for more information. Keep your journal with you or locked away when you don't need it, just like your email account. You don't want to leave it lying around. Great, Let's get started. Firstly, we're gonna look at some of the basic journal team plates. The 1st 1 is the index or contents page. This is the most useful thing. It allows you to find stuff later. Pretty simple, but important to keep it up to date. Future log. This is a really basic six months on a page spread that starts with the month after the current month. So if you're starting this in January in the 1st 6 months, the first month of the six month spread will be February. Use this to capture things you know you need need to be delivered or need to happen or a planned in the future months. The next layer is the monthly log on the left hand side of the page. You number the days of the month and had the first letter of the day of the week and populated with the Vince milestones and deadlines that have fixed dates On the right hand side, you could make a list of the things that need to be done this month. It's probably just the big rocks. It isn't going to work as a whole month's task list, so just focus on the really big things you know need to be delivered in that month. The next one is your weekly plan on one page I creator layout with five approximately equal sized rows. If I think my days, I include this year. So, for example, Tuesdays for me is always the day I focus on my own leadership. I then populate the days of the week with what specific deliverables I need to do that day . Be mindful of days with meetings you can't be, is ambitious about how much you'll get down on those days. Daily log. This is the most versatile format of all. Each day I hit up a new page with the date day of the week. The theme If I'm using one and then as the day progresses, I use various annotations to catcher what's happened. A dot is a task to be done, including actions from meetings. A circle is an event or meeting a dish is a note. Just something you want to record or remember. You can use an exclamation point for something that's really important and you want to come back later. A question mark for something you should look up or research into. And it s tricks for something that's really, really important. Now, another point about bullet journaling is one of the things you need to do is at the end of each month, week and day. You need to migrate your incomplete tasks either to schedule them or to migrate them to a future month, week all day. You can also use in s tricks to add priority to the task. An exclamation mark to have note something you found inspiring or an eye for where further research is needed. That's about all you need. For now. Please photograph and she your journal, sit up in the projects space and encourage others. It's always nice to get feedback. So just as a quick reminder, this course is divided into three parts. Self awareness, influence and delivering results. Three. These three things combined lead to effective leadership instructions for the project will be woven through these lessons. And if you only take one part of the program, the project, your complete will stand alone. 5. Lesson 5: Introduction to Self-Awareness: welcome to our introductory session on self awareness. What is it? So imagine that there are two things. How you actually are facts and how you think you are. Perception. Most people think these two things are the same. They aren't. Is a great book by a woman called Tasha Uric called Inside. She has the numbers to back this up. Most people, the vast majority, believe their self were that they know how they are perceived by others and understand their own strengths, weaknesses and preferences very well and that they know how others see them. But the evidence is overwhelmingly the opposite. The vast majority of people are blissfully unaware of their own self and have no real idea about how others see them, either. That's pretty scary. It's like how almost everybody believes they're a better than average driver, which by definition simply can't be true. Now you can manage without self awareness, but what happens is you don't understand why you aren't having the impact. You expect you can't fix things before they go wrong, and you can't understand why your team members are leaving in droves or if you're retaining your team. But all the other teams and the organization don't wanna work with yours. The myriad of ways that things can and probably will go wrong. If you lack self awareness a profound and frightening there is a reason why they say people join organizations but leave managers for your team members. Your behavior attitude an example will have one of the biggest impact on their engagement, enjoyment and achievement at work. Think about that for a minute. The stakes are pretty high. If you are unaware of your behavior, your attitude and your end, the example you're providing, then you're leaving a heck of a lot of very important things to chance. Let's not do that. In the section of the course. We're gonna learn about a growth versus a fixed mindset, which one you want and how to get it. Locus of control. What is it and how you can change It triggers and stresses how to figure out what yours are and actively manage them. Strengths and prick preferences. How to figure yours out and use them to your advantage and that of your team. How to improve your overall self awareness, how to seek and receive feedback from other people and who you should seek it from, and we'll talk about leadership as service. What it means to lead is a self aware human being. Ready, Let's go. 6. Lesson 6: Growth Mindset: So in this. Listen, we're gonna learn about growth mindset. What is a growth mindset? Why do you need one to be an effective manager? How do you get one if you haven't already got one? And what road is off? Optimism play growth, minds it or fix mind? See? Don't worry. If you don't know what I'm talking about, we're going to unpack this a bit. A very clever woman called Carol Dweik observed that Children in a classroom had predominantly two different ways of responding to sit backs. Now bear in mind, these air skulk it's so a setback might have mean getting a meth problem wrong or not being able to figure out where to put an apostrophe. Anyway, the kids were responding in one off two ways to these seat Biggs. Either they were devastated, intended to try this hard and lose interest in the subject in question. Uh, they bounced back really quickly and worked even harder to try and figure it out. This made Carol curious, and she said about trying to figure out what the difference was between these two groups. And was it something that could be manipulated because clearly those who bounced back quickly and worked harder to figure it out. We're getting better over the long run. Lucky for us to wake figured out what the difference. Waas and she also concluded from her research that the same characteristic could be changed and that doing so had mess of long term benefits for people throughout the course of their lives. In other words, it wasn't something that only applied to school problems. The difference was whether the kids believed that they had a finite amount of intellect and that there was nothing they could do about it or whether they believe that traits like intelligence were able to be changed through persistence and hard work. She coined the terms, fixed mindset and growth mindset to describe these two groups, and the rest is history. So which are you? Do you believe that your I Q determines what you can accomplish? Or do you believe that you can learn new skills by putting in the effort? Do you think that there are some things you great it, but also some things that no matter how hard you try, you'll never master? Well, do you think that it's just a matter of putting in the practice, you probably know which one you are. The question is, why does it matter? Well, it measures quite a bit as a new manager, through our a bunch of things that you're going to need to do that you've never done before . These will either be easy or challenging for you. Some of them you won't get right straight away. What's important is to understand that it just takes practice. There is no skill you couldn't learn. If you're willing to put in the effort, I might make an exception for some physical skills. There's no way I could do the splits. I don't think that will change any time soon. Second, you need to apply this knowledge to your team members as well. There will be things that they don't know or don't do. Well, if you believe that cannot be changed, the new mayors will both give up and go home. One of your primary roses, a manager is coach. If you don't have the skill yourself, you need to learn it and then you need to be able to teach it, and you need to teach it with a full understanding that if the person wants to learn it and is willing to put in the effort. They'll get there eventually. So what if you're watching this and thinking, Oh, I'm a fixed mindset kind of dude. What do I do? Don't worry. It's just a belief. And unless you're a zealot, beliefs could be changed. It's about finding evidence that one belief is wrong and the end other evidence that another belief is correct and catching yourself whenever you say or do something, including mentally, that is consistent with the wrong belief. Take a new page in your journal and divided in two from top to bottom on the left hand side , heated up fixed and on the right growth. Now write down The reasons why you think fixed is correct. Examples might include because I've never been good at math. I tried and tried. I'm an introvert. I hate networking, and I'll never be good at it. You get the idea, then next to each one, I want you to rewrite it as though the opposite were true. So for the two examples above, you might write, I do struggle with meth, but with the right teacher, some practice and a bit of effort, I'm sure I could get better and I am Interview T'd and I teamed to find networking events. Make me uncomfortable. But if I learned some tips from another introverted networker and seat about trying them out, I'm sure I could do beat up. Now, if you look closely, neither of the's rewrites is asking you to lie or being the truth. They had just different visions of the same set of facts. Except one is consistent with a fixed mindset which basically shuts Give up Now don't even bother and the other sees its the other is consistent with a growth mindset. Yeah, it's hard, but I can practice and with if it will get better, do that now and I'll see you in the next Leeson locus of control. 7. Lesson 7: Locus of Control: locus off control in this. Listen, we're gonna cover what is the locus of control? What impact does it have on people? Why do you need to have an internal locus of control to be an effective manager? And if you don't have one, how do you get one locus of control is another important consideration and your development into an effective leader? It's closely related to growth or fixed mindset, but slightly different locus of control is about whether you think you are responsible for what happens to you or whether other people are responsible for what happens to you. This applies to both good and bad things. In psychology they refer to This is personal agency. If you have an internal locus of control. In other words, you believe that you make things happen and that the if it and energy you put into the tasks you do will ultimately influence the results you achieve. Then you and team U team to feel pretty good about your accomplishments and you team to take responsibility for your mistakes. In fact, people with an internal locus of control may tend to look at problems caused largely by others and still focus on how they personally contributed to the issue and what they should change next time. People with an external locus of control, on the other hand, teamed to see good things as lucky. And when bad things happened, they feel like victims that the world or specific individuals in it are out to get them. It's really hard to be a manager if you have an external locus of control. Basically, it means that you feel constantly under siege. You hoard resources and you don't play well with others. Teamwork becomes really difficult on. While it means you don't have to take any responsibility for things that go wrong. It also means that you aren't going to be very inspiring or motivating to your team who want to know that through the if it and hard work, things could be improved under your leadership. There's good news, though. The very fact that you are taking this course probably means you have an internal locus of control. In reality, you wouldn't bother taking this course if you didn't because you wouldn't believe it would make any difference. Oh, now introduce you to a tool you can use if you start feeling like a victim in a particular circumstance, and when you're confident using it for yourself, you can even introduce it as a coaching tour with your team members. Take a new page in your journal. Heated up circles of influence. Draw this diagram. See the middle circle that you things inside that circle are completely within your control . That includes how you think, how you act, what you know, your skills, your strengths and experiences. The next ring is the things you can influence. It can include things like relationships with others, things you could learn or look up, influencing others by explaining to them what's going on. You can influence the objectives. You sit for your team, but you can't control whether they will deliver them. Makes its The last ring is things you neither control nor influence. They shouldn't be too much in this ring, but natural disasters ah, key stakeholders illness, etcetera. They would fit here when you get stuck and start thinking that the world is out. To get you used this tool toe, identify the current state of play and then make a list of the actions that you can take right away to make the two inner circles the thing you control and the things you can influence bigger. See you in the next listen, triggers and stresses. 8. Lesson 8: Triggers and Stressors: triggers and stresses in this. Listen, we'll talk about what triggers and stresses are how you figure out what yours are. I am what you should do about it. Once you have this information, everybody has things that set them off or cause stress for them. This is what we mean when we say somebody really pushes our buttons, believe it or not, nor everyone has seat off by the same things. As a manager, it's really important that you are a A were off the things that seat you off. Otherwise, you may find yourself losing control of your emotional state in a way that you later regret triggers. Or cooks usually refer to things other people do that make you angry or upset and stresses team to be events or situations that make you feel anxious or out of control. It's look at triggers first. The simplest and most practical list and description I've found comes from Dr Tim Molinski , author of The Conflict Pivot. The first trigger, she calls them hooks is competence. You're triggered when you perceive that someone is questioning your intelligence or skills . The second is inclusion. You were triggered when someone appears to be excluding you in some way from a group or in a feet or committee, or implies you're not a good companion. The third trigger is autonomy your triggered when someone appears to be trying to control you or manipulate you imposing something on you or three shinning your self reliance. The fourth trigger is status your triggered when you perceive that someone is threatening or dissing your tangible and intangible assets, including power position, economic worth or attractiveness. The fifth trigger is reliability. Your triggered here when you perceive that someone is questioning your trustworthiness or dependability, and the sixth trigger is integrity here you're triggered when someone appears to be questioning your moral values or your integrity. Or he thinks so. Next time you find yourself blaming another person for a relationship that's gone sour. Considered this quote from psychologist Jeffrey Cotler, every person you fight with has as many other people in his life with whom he gets along quite well. You cannot look at a person who seems difficult to you without also looking at yourself when you know what you're my main or primary triggers are you can be a little bit more were of thumb of somebody seems to be doing one of those things, and that means you can have a more objective conversation rather than becoming emotional about it. It's not easy, but it's a big step in the right direction. Next, we'll talk about stresses these air a little more objective and can actually be identified by thinking about previous work experiences. Open your journal toe a clean page. Divide the page into two columns and he'd one of them up Stressful and the other, um, stressful. Now in the Left column, right down a couple of words or memories about as many situations you can think off where you have felt stressed symptoms of stress Team to include not sleeping well, feeling overwhelmed butterflies in your stomach, frustration and Anila built inability to focus or relax. Next, I want you to look at each of these situations and try and identify a similar situation that didn't carry the same streets. I'll give you an example. Let's say one of your stressful situations was that you had a lengthy and detailed report to prepare for your boss. The deadline was very short, and you ended up submitting. At late, I didn't think about a time when you have also had a lengthy assignment to complete, But you didn't feel stressed about it. Invite felt pretty great in the right hand column list. The things that were different about the seeking situation compete with the first. Maybe it was for a different boss. Maybe you are more familiar with the subject matter, and may be the deadline was slightly more relaxed. Once you've identified these things, take a close look at them. What do they tell you about what causes you stress? Is it when the deadline is unrealistic? Is it something about the manager you were working with at the time? By looking at a handful of examples, you'll start to see Petain's Now. The point of this isn't that you can make these triggers or stressors go away. It's to be a were off them because if you are aware of them, you'll be better equipped to cope. This might involve removing yourself from a situation. It might involve a more objective conversation with a coworker that normally would have become emotional. It might involve renegotiating a deadline, and if you can't do anything to change the situation, being aware of it will also mean you're better able to regulate your own emotions. You're aware of what's going on. You know why it's going on. And ineffectiveness is here. You can even let others know what's happening so you and the Knicks listen strengths. 9. Lesson 9: Strengths and Preferences: strength's in this. Listen, we'll find out what strengths and preferences are. We'll talk about how you can figure out what yours are, including a couple of tools, Gallup, strengths, finder and disk. And then we'll talk about what you should do with that information once you have it. Strengths, improvements, preferences are pretty much exactly what they sound like. They're things. You are great, it and ways you prefer working or things you prefer doing. Compute with other ways of working. As for triggers and stresses in our last Leeson, it can be a bit of a wake up call to realize that just because you like a task doesn't mean that everyone on your team likes the same task. And just because you're good at something doesn't mean your co workers are. There are lots of tools out there for figuring out your strengths and your preferences. We aren't going to do them in this listen. Instead, I'm going to make you aware of thumb. It carried you to complete these assessments in your own time, and we're gonna give you some ideas about what to do with that information once you have it for figuring out your strings. The best tool I've come across is Gallup Strengths Finder 2.0, it was designed by Don Clifton and written identifies your top five strengths, providing you with a detailed report about what they mean and what you should do with the information you can either buy the book Strengths Finder 2.0, by Tom Breath, which includes a key code to complete the assessment online. Or you can buy a key code from Gallup strengths into dot com. The second tool I'd recommend and you can access for free is disk. It identifies your preferences in a range of different areas and also identifies the things you value when it comes to work again, along with a detailed report with insights and ideas about how to use the information. You can access this to let www dot Tony Robbins dot com slash disk. That's D I s C, but you won't need to provide your email address to receive the report. Once you have this information and you've spent some time looking through it, you can start to put this newfound knowledge into practice. I recommend you make a little note off your strengths and your preferences in your journal so that you can refer to them from time to time said, and remember them. It's a good idea to provide your team members and sometimes even your boss or peers with some insight into what you're good at and how you prefer to work. Many managers choose to use these tools or tools like them with their entire team, so that you can build up in inventory off your team's strengths and preferences, ensuring that you each draw out the beast in each other. Ultimately, though, it's up to you to find ways to play to your strengths whenever you can, focusing when your weaknesses can only yield so much benefit. But becoming expert in a range of things can be truly life changing. Remember, the same is true for your team. The more often you create opportunities for them to play to their strengths, the more engaged there'll be and the better your team will perform. As a result, see you in the next listen, improving self awareness 10. Lesson 10: Improving Self Awareness: improving self awareness in this lesson will cover an introduction to meditation and mindfulness and how you can build your own practice. We'll take a quick look at what? How far you've come already. And I'll share with you my insights into how meditation is useful for your management practice. Finally, I have some recommended reading for you. Now you may be wondering what all this is about. What on earth can meditation have to do with effective management and leadership? Well, the answer is quite a bit. I've been meditating daily for nearly two years now, and the benefits for me personally have been profound. In fact, I noticed quite markedly if I miss a day or two. Luckily, it's easy to recover again. Meditation can mean lots of different things to different people. You're probably imagining someone sitting in a serene temple somewhere, cross legal and loaded lotus position. Going home. Well, it's actually a lot more comfortable and natural than that. I use an app called headspace, which starts with foundation sessions to learn the basics and gradually build you up to more to slightly more complicated exercises. But all of them have one simple thing at their core realize when your mind has wandered off and gently bring it back to your focus. Now the focus part is simple enough. You can focus on your breath or an image you hold in your mind or people. You can see Orem entry. You recite silently to yourself. It doesn't actually matter. The key is realizing your mind has wandered off because it will and gently bringing it back . With practice, you'll notice that you begin to observe your thoughts, feelings and emotions instead of being them. In other words, you're no longer hostage to your emotions. You can choose to think something else or to feel something else. You can choose to be present in the moment instead of wallowing and regret for a bad thing that has already happened, or anxiously anticipating something that is potentially going to happen tomorrow or next week. Now, if you think about the topics we've covered already developing a growth mindset, internalizing your locus of control, learning about your triggers and stresses and understanding your strengths and preferences , you can probably see why being mindful in your daily life is going to make all of these things much easier personally. I have been comma more deliberate. These easily frustrated or riled be able to keep meetings purposeful and on trek. More aware of interpersonal dynamics at play and large groups and clearer about the decisions in front of me and the best way to approach them. I ask more questions, and I don't feel like I need to have all the answers. I'm also much more accepting of other people's foibles and more open to new ideas and information. I have no reason to believe that these benefits are unique to me. In fact, I have included some links to scientific articles about the benefits of mindfulness in the workplace so you can check it out for yourself. I encourage you to read insight by Tasha Uric. It pulls together many of the threads we've covered so far in a very thought provoking way . Finally, please think about using your journal to reflect on your mindfulness practice on a daily basis when your meetings it ought and tasks are finished for the day. Take a couple of minutes to reflect on you how you behaved, how you felt, whether you were stressed or angry. Com or highly effective, you'll start to notice patterns that will enable you to gain further insight into what makes you tick as a manager. So you and the leaks listen, feedback and reflection. 11. Lesson 11: Feedback and Reflection: feedback and reflection. In this lesson, you'll learn about seeking feedback from others. How wine Ween, How to receive it even when you don't agree what to do with it and we'll look at unhooking from praise and criticism, Fi Beck is an incredibly valuable gift. It provides you with an insight into how others see you and what the preferences are. Likewise, when you give feedback to somebody else, it provides them with information about how they appear to you on whether they're working in a way that is consistent with your preferences or no. So when and why should you seek feedback? Well, the answer is frequently not just from your boss, either. You should be seeking feedback from your peers and from your team members as well. There are two reasons for this. It allows you to learn more about how you appear to others and what beer preferences are. And it lets other people know that you care about your opinion and value their insights. Now I'm not suggesting that you should seek feedback so often that it becomes burdensome for the person that you're seeking it from. But I would think at least once a week, you should be actively seeking new insights from someone you work with. Just know always the same person. They should be obvious points to ask for feedback, like when your boss delegates a new task to you or when you deliver a key piece of work when you conclude a tricky team meeting or process. But that doesn't have to be an obvious trigger. If you think something might be going a little bit sideways, invite feedback with an open mind. It can be a great way to prompt in a central conversation about the work, and it can even aversion crisis. The how is slightly trickier. There two parts to this as well. How toe ask and how to receive. Now how to ask. You can prepare for quite well you conscripted. Some examples include I'd really like to make sure that the way I'm doing things is working for you. Is there anything you'd like me to do differently to make your job easier? Or it seemed like things wound to smooth this They could be during that last project. Is there anything I need to know to make things better nicked up next time off course feedback can be positive, too. And when the opportunity arises, you should feel empowered to seek positive feedback as well. Now. Receiving feedback, though, can be a little bit trickier. No matter what the feed Becker's, you need to accept it graciously, like a Christmas gift you really don't want. If you respond negatively to the feedback, that person probably won't offer you any more feedback. Furthermore, it may cause damage to your reputation. Your boss needs to know you're open to correction. Your peers need to know that you care about their opinions, and your team members need to know that they can bring bad news to you without getting the heat's bitten off. Otherwise, they'll keep it from you until it's too late for you to do anything about it. This isn't easy, but remember, you just need to keep up appearances until you can get some alone time. But I've got something for you that my help. It comes from a book called Playing Big by Tara More. She dedicates an entire chapter of the book to unhooking from praise and criticism. In essence, who argument is that other people's opinions are just that there are important and so far as they tell you something about the other person's style and preferences. But it doesn't tell you anything factually in here into you, even when it's delivered poorly. This tells you useful information about the person providing the feedback. And, of course, you should reflect on the new information. Decide what to do about it. But ultimately it doesn't mean your bet. You are bad or useless or worthless. You might think I'm dealing in semantics here, but honestly, this has been one of the most useful pieces of advice I've even received now. Everything we've learned here can be applied to when you give feedback to others as well. Remember that you're sharing an insight into how you perceive the other person and try to deliver feedback with some objective distance. Focus on facts and specifics, not personal traits and characteristics, and be generous with positive feedback. Do it every time somebody does something right that way, the corrective feedback will be a lot easier for them to swallow. See you in the next listen, serving others 12. Lesson 12: Serving Others: serving of this. In this lesson, we'll learn about the importance of services, a leader of people, the counter intuitive truth about what management and leadership actually are and inverting the Orc chat. This one's shortened sweet in spite of everything you've ever seen on TV or in the movies or even in your past. Boss is the truth is leadership is about serving others not being served. This means that your primary purpose is to serve your team members to make things easier for theme. Being in a leadership role does not imbue you with some special rank instead, is where people need to bow and count out to you and steed. You should be finding ways every day to offer yourself in service of your organization and to all the people that you work with, regardless of whether they are more senior than you. All this senior than you. The secret to getting ahead, adding value for others without obviously expectation of return. If it helps take the old chat and my conversion of it, that's upside down. The chief executives at the bottom the most junior contributed there at the top. Your customers and clients are above them pennants. Some we knew your disk is a reminder. It's worth remembering. If you want to learn more about this philosophy, there's some resources in the course. Material and service Lee Servant leadership. 13. Lesson 13: Conclusion: that concludes, part one self awareness. If you've enjoyed the journey so far, please tune in for part to influence where you'll learn how to build your team, to build engagement, to empower them, to use their initiative, to build trust and to manage conflict. See you there.