Mastering Assertive Communication | Jade Ball | Skillshare
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Mastering Assertive Communication

teacher avatar Jade Ball, Business Consultant & English Teacher

Watch this class and thousands more

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Taught by industry leaders & working professionals
Topics include illustration, design, photography, and more

Watch this class and thousands more

Get unlimited access to every class
Taught by industry leaders & working professionals
Topics include illustration, design, photography, and more

Lessons in This Class

    • 1.

      Introduction

      1:39

    • 2.

      How do we communicate?

      10:56

    • 3.

      Why is assertive communication important?

      3:11

    • 4.

      How to become an assertive communicator

      9:01

    • 5.

      Encouraging assertive communication in the workplace

      5:47

    • 6.

      Working remotely

      1:38

    • 7.

      Are communication styles the same as personality types?

      2:36

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About This Class

Communicating yourself assertively is an excellent attribute to have in the world of business, especially such for those in leadership and management roles; well-respected positions where your team will look to you for guidance. 

This course will help you to develop the confidence you need to build key skills for assertive communication. Being able to communicate confidently and clearly will leave you feeling calmer and in control of any situation which may arise. 

We'll take a look at the different styles of communication, the common mishaps that can lead to a breakdown in communication, and how you can better assert yourself within your team, no matter what level you are at.

Meet Your Teacher

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Jade Ball

Business Consultant & English Teacher

Teacher

Hello, I'm Jade and I create online courses to help you build confidence in business and improve your English language.

I am a native English and have spent 10 years working with various non-native speakers, so I know the pitfalls in pronunciation! My experience has helped me to develop a series of courses full of hints and tips to help making learning English a fun and productive process. 

I have also spent the last decade building my own business, and now offer my own independent business coaching for all levels. The courses I have developed focus on the key skills needed in business, whatever your position, in order to be successful. Each course is curated using my own experience and are easily digestible by focusing on the fundamentals. 

:-)

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Transcripts

1. Introduction : Mastering assertive communication. In business, good communication can not only help you build a rewarding relationship with your team, but will also help to aid your company's performance. Performance. Whether you're speaking to a coworker or giving a presentation to a board of directors, effective communication is the key to success. In this course, we're going to explore the different communication styles you might come across in your team. The advantages of assertive communication. And finally, how to adopt such a technique? Can your communicative approach? By the end of this course, you will have developed the skills to become a competent communicator at any level. With techniques, you can apply it both in and out of the workplace. This course is aimed at everyone entry level to management level positions. Becoming an assertive communicator will help bring clarity to your leadership, improving yourself confidence as well as your team's output. At entry level, Developing Your assertive communication skills will help you in climbing the career ladder, becoming a strong, well-respected member of your team. Firstly, let's take a look at the different methods of communication. 2. How do we communicate?: How do we communicate? These days, communication with your colleagues expands much further than face to face. We have the ability to connect via email, video calls, and instant messengers. With t, we have the ability to connect via email, video calls and instant messengers with team collaborations, venturing out with the bull dream and into the world of online project management tools. But what does this have to do with the way that we communicate? Well, effective communication is all about and your point across the way that it is intended. The written word can often come across more cool than if it were altered allowed. And that's something worth remembering an old times. As most businesses start to adopt a remote working style and showing your communication style is reflected in your written word has never become more crucial. Never become more crucial. Communication styles. There are four different approaches to communication, and our style may differ depending on who we are communicating with. It's therefore important to remember that there is no perfect way of communicating at all times and do approach depending on the set constants. Let's explore each of the full styles before taking a look at some examples of each. Passive. Passive communicators are often regarded as shy or introverted as they usually fail to express that feedings or needs preferring referring to listen to others, express themselves. A passive communicate to can often feel that needs are opinions and not being heard given their lack of outward discussion on the MCA. And this can often meant and growing resentment that only inwardly thought, often referred to as the submissive style. At passive communicative communicates, it will typically do anything they can to avoid conflict with others. They will therefore put the needs of others high than their own needs and desires. Since they want to keep everyone happy. You'll often hear those displaying passive behavior regarded as people pleases or a yes man, due to the inability to FSA know. Some examples of passive communication, all people never listened to my opinions. It doesn't matter what I think. I just wanted to keep the peace. My voice is never heard. Don't worry about Me. You choose iodide mind. I don't mind. I don't like to make a force that's way better than what I would have said. Aggressive and aggressive communicator is a style in which the advocate to feel their opinions or voice should be heard over everyone else off own loud manner. It's very often the case for an aggressive communicates to become verbally abusive to those who interrupt or object to them. Sometimes even becoming physically abusive. Aggressive communicates his almost always attempt to dominate the conversation, wanting to ensure they are listened to. They may also humiliate or criticized that pays in an attempt to belittle their opinions and intimidate those with whom they are communicating to. And doing side. And aggressive communicates can very easily alienate themselves from this due to the overbearing nature. Some examples of aggressive communication. Oh, I am right and you're wrong. I am your superior. You should listen to me. Do as I say. Passive aggressive. Passive aggressive communication takes on a mix of both the passive and aggressive styles we have just discussed. A passive aggressive communicates it will appear passive on the surface to those they are communicating with, but already acting in a subtly aggressive manner, harboring feelings of resentment and powerlessness. Those communicating passive aggressively will feel incapable of dealing with their resentments directly. Instead, choosing to undermine the object of that concern. The use of sarcasm and facial expressions are common in passive aggressive behavior. Those communicating in this style, often being in denial isn't being in denial of the objects of their resentment. Instead, choosing to assert their aggression inwardly rather than confront the personal issue. This can often be a very passive trait to this behavior can once again result in alienation from their peers much alike, the aggressive communication style common for a passive aggressive communicated to choose to alienate themselves over their peers doing say, often as a result of being unable to confront their frustrations. The expression to cut off your nose to spite your face, is a perfect description of passive aggressive behavior. Some examples, some examples of passive aggressive communication. All do what you want. You don't care about my opinion anyway. I never have a say in the MCA. It's not like I'm consulted on for my opinion. Assertive communicators are often regarded as the most easy to get along with. Assertive communicators will clearly state their opinions and feelings and a discussion without feeling the need to sabotage those of others or violate their right to communication. Assertive communication generates a mutual respect between the communicates or in their peers. Allowing the communicates to be a strong advocate for their own beliefs without intimidation or criticism of those who disagree with them. Communication in this manner combines the Communists of passive communicators and velocity of the aggressive style to create a competent communicator who is in control of that discipline. Most importantly, an assertive communicator is seen as mature and approachable by their peers through that non-aggressive style. Let's take a look at some examples of assertive communication. If I can continue discussing this item, I will be happy to answer them. I will be happy to answer any questions you have at the end. I would appreciate it if you could. My thoughts on this are manipulative. Whilst we've discussed the coal fall styles, it's often fifth communication style for many. Manipulative communicates is often have similar traits to passive aggressive communicators. They both hide that true faults and aggression behind a more passive domina. A manipulative communicate to them is much more calculating and controlling than that of the passive aggressive nature thing than that of the passive aggressive nature. Much like the aggressive style and manipulative communicate to has no patients for other people's opinions and only once there and to be heard. However, a manipulative communicates will convey this aggression much more subtly with the intention of influencing, will confess to their own advantage. It is in the manipulative nature to be sneaky and scheming. So it's very often the case that their peers will be unaware of that true intentions. Manipulative communication is very difficult to identify in the moment. This communication style can be conveyed by a sympathetic towards them in order to win the argument or get what they want. It's easy to see commonalities across all of the aforementioned styles and manipulative communication, which is why it's often not regarded as a style and self. A manipulative communicates may express themselves in the following phrases. Phrases. That hotel looks lovely. I wish I could stay that too, but I can't afford it. I didn't have time to get ready. So I hope this outfit looks okay. Let's take a look at the fundament conversations to see if you can identify if you can identify the style being used in each way, going to the winery for my birthday next week to have a nice meal. You're so lucky. I wish I could say that, but it's too expensive. This would be considered a manipulative style. Show. I book a table at the restaurant for your birthday. I don't want to make a foes. This would be considered a passive style. I need to cancel out date tonight. I hate that. So K above it. This style would be considered passive aggressive. I'm not sure I like the blue tiles for the kitchen. Will I do So we're having them end of conversation. This would be considered an aggressive style. Are you sure you don't mind me going to the party tonight show? It's not like you to be concerned about what I think before. This would be considered a passive aggressive style. I'm so completely overlooked our meeting today and I'm running a little behind. Would it be possible to rearrange? I appreciate that this is important to you, and I would really like to ensure my attention is on Divided. This is an assertive way of communicating. Could you turn the music down, please? It is distracting me from my work. Again, this would be considered an assertive communication style. And finally, why aren't you doing it the way I suggested? It's easy to see that this would be considered an aggressive communication. 3. Why is assertive communication important?: Why is communication important? Fundamentally, being assertive in business allows you to build good, healthy relationships with your peers without jeopardizing your role as a leader. The leader. On a personal level. Assertive communication will also positively impact your mental health, allowing you to use your voice and feel respected for doing so. Oftentimes, passive or passive aggressive behavior contributes to poor mental health. Since communicates a struggle with, with feeling hurt by their peers, which in turn has a negative impact on their self-worth. Being assertive doesn't necessarily mean you will get what you want, but it can help you achieve an otherwise difficult compromise. Communicating assertively will leave you feeling confident that you handled a situation well. Alto now and emotions to take control of the discussion and leave others involved feeding respected assertive communicators make great leaders and managers. Assertive communicators treat that team family and with the respect they deserve, which in turn improves its performance and general work ethic. And assertive managers, often well-liked by that team. Creating a brilliant environment to work in. Assertive communicators make great problem solvers. Assertive communicates his feel empowered to do whatever it takes to find the best solution to the problems they may come across as being a good problem-solve. It doesn't mean, you know, every answer. It means you know how to communicate effectively with a team in order to find the best result. Assertive communicators are less stressed. Being able to communicate your thoughts and opinions effectively will ultimately leave you feeling less stressed and anxious since you do not have built up aggression and frustrations that you have an inability to express. Similarly, being assertive in your communication will leave you feeling empowered, not threatened when things don't go as expected. Assertive communication is an exceptional skill to acquire and one which will open many opportunities for you in the future. Of course, not every business leader, manager role colleague will also be assertive. And there are many business environments where the expectations are for employees to be passive. So relative nature may come across more aggressively than intended. You should be considerate of your environment when adopting an assertive approach and ensure you find what works for you and your workplace. Let's take a look at how you can start to adopt an assertive approach to communication. 4. How to become an assertive communicator : How to become an assertive communicator. So now we know exactly why assertive communication is so powerful. Let's take a look at the rules you'll need to learn in order to harness and assertive culture with your peers. The rules you'll need to learn in order to harness and assertive culture with your peers. Value yourself and others equally. First and foremost, you should always run that. That is, it's the people who make an organization. Organize yourself and your colleagues as valued members of the team. And remember that each of you deserves to be respected. It is important to establish boundaries. Now exactly how you want to be treated. Know what your core beliefs are and what you stand for. This self-belief is important in order to communicate assertively with others. Being able to respect yourself means you would treat others in the same way. Be open to criticism. Having respect for yourself doesn't mean that you are almighty. You should accept that everyone, including wrong at times will make mistakes. And you should be open to criticism from your peers. Being able to accept both positive and negative criticism in a gracious manner can often be tough. But it is the mark of a great, assertive leader to do say. That set. You certainly don't have to agree, don't have to agree with the criticism to somewhat keep the peace. But you should practice techniques on how to respond to negative feedback without becoming defensive or angry. You must learn to see past your emotional response to criticism and embrace it as a way to mature and develop. Learn how to say no. An assertive communicators should not hesitate to say no for fear of upsetting others. Unfortunately, being assertive doesn't mean you can keep everyone happy all the time. But an assertive leader will know when it is right to say no. Having self-respect means you should understand your own limits. When something will cause too much pressure, upset your workload, all becomes unmanageable. Learning to say no will gain you more respect than ultimately burning yourself out. Remember that assertively does a great problem solvers. So when these needs do, when these needs do arise, tried to find a win-win situation for all. Listen to this. It may seem like an easy task to begin with, but truly listening to others in a conversation can sometimes be a difficult skill to achieve. Remember, other people have a voice and also want to be heard. Though their opinion may differ to yours. And though you may feel your opinion is the correct one, consider how their communication style may change if you do not respect that voice. Assertive communication breeds assertive communication. Jun breeds assertive communication. If you interrupt others or disrespect their thoughts, the compensation bonds, tips. And your peer may fail and aggressive communication style is needed in order to take back some control. On the other hand, should you interrupt to ignore those with less confidence, they may well live or passive aggressive styles to feel more comfortable with the taking control of the conversation. It's important to keep a balance between yourself and your peers. And assertive communicate to listen when spoken to, rather than assert an aggressive dominance into the conversation. Be confident when communicating. Being assertive requires you to be confident. And lack of confidence can often lead to being indecisive, which in turn gives a lack of clarity to those you are communicating to. A good leader is clear and concise and what they wish to achieve. Verbal techniques. The language we use to communicate to our assertiveness is incredibly important. We looked at a few examples of how people can verbally portray the different communication styles at the start of this course. For example, a past communicates. It can often be heads saying, I don't mind or don't worry about me, which can easily tonight, low self-confidence. Being assertive doesn't mean you have to be demanding, but you should ensure that language you use clearly explains your feelings. Try to incorporate all statements into statements into your day-to-day speech. Using statements such as, I feel that I want to and I think clearly a set your thoughts without conveying any aggressive or demanding behavior. Using I statements instead of we showed you don't see yourself as a spokesperson for your team. It can be very off-putting for others to hear. We should do this when they disagree. This sort of language conveys self-importance and arrogance. So you should try to avoid where possible. Consider the virtue you use in your language. Oftentimes we tried to shook it what we want to say for fear of coming across as arrogant, encouraged the use of words such as well and want over more indecisive verbs like might and should. By caving to the I statements with these verbs, it will become much clearer for others to understand your values. I went to request an increase in the budget to ensure we can fully meet the scope requirements. I will not be able to offer anymore overtime this week. Tone. Thinking back to the start of this course, we discussed the different methods such as emails and project collaboration software. It's much more difficult to employ your tone of voice and the written form. As you lack key aspects and communication, such as facial expressions and posture, it's often taken for granted how much a smile or nodding in agreement to someone can change the tone of the conversation completely, station completely. That's why doubly important to ensure your tone is perceived in the written form as you implied it to be. In non-formal environments, tools such as emojis and images can often help lighten the tone. Whilst in a formal setting, you may want to opt for video calls before email nation in order to better voice your opinions. If you're in doubt, it's always helpful to explain your tone with phrases such as, apologies if this email comes across as angry, that is certainly not my intention. Posture. Your posture tells a lot about how open you are to communicating with your peers. Oftentimes, our default posture can be more intimidating or standoffish than we intend to come across. For example, folding your arms or fidgeting can give the impression that you don't think the person is worth listening to. An open, relaxed posture, on the other hand, can create a positive experience and share your open to a discussion. Facial expression. Making eye contact to whom you are communicating really helps to build a mutual respect and shows you're confident. Whereas looking at the flow or the objects in the room can often come across as having low self confidence or being disinterested in the discussion. It's also worth noting that rolling your eyes is a very passive aggressive trait and should be avoided at all costs. Remember that your body language tells, which tells others how open you are to a discussion. So be sure to make eye contact occasionally to remind you this, that you are listening. And finally, your voice. Asserting your voice doesn't mean shouting. But in order to communicate assertively, you shouldn't show you speak and do not mumble. It's also important to ensure you do not owe to things under your breath or speak too quickly. These are often considered passive. 5. Encouraging assertive communication in the workplace: Encouraging assertive communication in the workplace. A good leader has an understanding of the different communication styles we've discussed and knows how to identify them in the people they communicate with. An excellent leader. An excellent leader, no timing knows how to identify these traits, but also knows how to adopt that communication accordingly in order to encourage everyone to become more assertive too. As we discussed earlier, assertive communication breeds assertive communicate communication. But what happens when your team is reluctant to change? Whilst we old typically have a default communication style that we use, it's very often the case that our communication style differs depending on both the environment we're in and the topic we're discussing. Ask yourself if the working of the working environment is contributing to the behavior of your team. Oftentimes, passive, aggressive and passive aggressive behavior is the result of pent-up frustrations in the workplace. Dojo team failed involved in decision-making. Do they fail? They are listen to all certain members of your team overbearing and others. In order to encourage assertive communication, you need to understand what factors may be contributing to less helpful communication styles within your team. For example, someone who is generally very passive aggressive conveyor can very easily switch to an aggressive communication style should that need not be nurtured. Consider implementing some of the following ideas to encourage change in the workplace. Surveys. One of the best ways to get a feel for where improvements could be necessary in order to encourage more assertive traits is to serve a your team. Be sure to ask questions such as, Do you feel respected? How do you feel your opinions of you didn't meetings? And do you feel listened to? Answers to these questions may not be what you're wanting to hear, but they will certainly help you to change your own behavior in order to help others feel more valued and in turn, communicate themselves more assertively. In addition, if you have a larger team, then it might be more difficult for you to easily identify the different communication styles within your workforce. In this case, you can use surveys to simply work this out. Consider asking some of these questions. When I feel my point of view is not being heard, I usually react in the following way. Silently. I will shy away from involving myself in the digital. Whilst it will frustrate me. I won't tell you this this and will quietly wait my turn. My point of view is always heard. Even if I have to interrupt others to get it across. I respect the opinions of others, even if I do not agree with them and quietly wait, might send to reinforce again. When we can just pause with a group. What role do you take in decision-making? I do not like making decisions and we'll let others do say, if I disagree with the decision being made, I will not let others know why I disagree, but I will inwardly be irritated. I will inwardly be irritated. I like to take the role of the decision-maker. I am usually the best person to do, say, I appreciate an open discussion and thrive in this environment. I like to debate topics fairly and value everyone's opinion. If you weren't cleared, that being asked to take on more, how do you typically respond? I will always say yes, no matter how busy I maybe I do not want to upset anyone. I will usually agree to take on extra work, but I wish people would know how frustrated This makes me. Sometimes I admit I can't become, become a little sulky. I usually react badly when I am busy. People should know how busy I am and I am not afraid to upset anyone if I don't want to do it. I know when to simply say no. And I'm not scared of saying psi. One-to-one meetings. Once you have identified the different communication styles in your workforce, having one-to-one meetings with certain team members will give you an excellent opportunity to reinforce how you value them. And the mutual respect between you. These meetings will be split for those with passive traits, as it's quite typical for that quiet voices to be overpowered by louder, more aggressive types. Introducing regular catch-up meetings can help your colleagues to understand your openness to their opinions and in turn, encouraged more assertive behaviour. Assertive communication workshops. Using the rules we've explored in this course. You may want to consider in your own workshop for your team to help introduce more assertive communication skills. Surveys will certainly help you to know which areas of your workplace require improvement, Bereavement, which you can then use as examples in your workshop. 6. Working remotely: Working remotely. Remote working has become much more commonplace for lots of office environments in recent years. Whilst there were many benefits and doing site, it can often result in team members feeling alienated as feeling alienated or isolated from decision-making processes. One of the key disadvantages of remote working is being unable to acknowledge social cues, such as saying when members of the team are upset, will react badly to certain scenarios. These social cues of very helpful in understanding when your own communication isn't working effectively. And acknowledging needs for change. In these cases, it's crucial that you help your team find their voice through regular online meetings, online collaboration tools, and even consider having team building events such as quizzes or book clubs, which can very easily be performed online. Team-building events of really handy ways to get everyone working together and find gene that communication skills with one another. Remote working doesn't have to mean your team work alone. And you should be sure to reinforce this point and regularly. 7. Are communication styles the same as personality types?: All communication styles the same as personality types. A person's personality type will definitely influence the way in which they communicate with others, but they are not the same. A personality type helps to define a penalty type helps to define a person's character, the way they behave, the reasons they act in such ways, and their responses to different environments. In doing such understanding personality types will help to give a good insight into the factors that affect a person's communication. There are hundreds, if not thousands, of tests you can complete online that are aimed at defining your past, not a T-type. Whilst each test might differ in their accuracy, the majority will ask similar questions concerning how confident you fail in numerous situations. Perhaps consider introducing these questions in the surveys we discussed area. In contrast to the communication styles we've discussed, where assertiveness is considered the most ideal style to adopt. There is no ideal personality type. Each has their own advantages and disadvantages. Advantages. In fact, a team consisting of several different personality types will often work more harmoniously. Then hand picking a team with similar traits. However, being able to identify the individual needs of each member of your team will most certainly help you to adaptive communication to what is more preferable for them. For example, certain personality types will require you to be more expressive, even possibly using visual aids. Whereas others may appeal TO supportive or emotional side. Warranting animal friendly and formal approach. Becoming more versatile and you'll communication style depending on the personality traits of your team, does not mean you will becoming less assertive. Rather, it is the mark of a good leader to be able to adapt themselves to get the best out of that team. And in doing so will make you an incredibly diverse and assertive communicator.