Transcripts
1. Introduction and Disclaimer: Hey, guys, and welcome to
this little course I'm doing. I'm so glad you could be here. It's all about build in
self esteem and confidence. It mostly stays around
self esteem and, you know, a little
bit of CBT and Harry, get rid of that because
we didn't need it. Now. So let's start. So a little bit about me. And I'm so glad that I
spent all this time putting on animations on my camera presentation
for it to not work. So welcome. So about me. This is kind of important. I do have diploma
counseling skills, and I'm not trained as a
professional as of yet. So I'm currently
working with like Mind to get my trained hours in. And I'm going to help study. Sorry, I'm going to be studying for my degree in psychology. My gosh. We need a minute. I can't talk. I'm going from my
degree in psychology and then move on to a
cognitive behavior theapist, and get the training,
and you guys are helping with that by buying this
course. That means a lot. You guys are in the future, creating a weird chain
reaction to helping others. Wow I feel good about
something today. I don't know what's
appened to my voice. I'm so sorry. Yeah, sorry. My name is sim Clark as well I don't know if
I mentioned that. Everything from this course has become even though I don't
have the credentials. But everything I've got from this has been from
reliable sources. I don't believe in fake. I can't remember what's
called it's not accurate. I can say the word
is really funny. From reliable sources. Basically, it's not anything
Is it misinformation? Yeah, I don't. We don't. It's not a thing that I promote. Like on a lot of social
media, there is a lot of it. I'm just like, no, and it's hilarious because I
just not I'm wearing the exact same T shirt is in my profile picture and
that was taken a year ago. Hilarious. Again,
stay sustainable, don't like you close
going in a landfill. Anyway. Yeah, I'm very passionate about
personal development. I did create podcast called
the crystalline podcast. Spite being crystal clear
about your potential, your worth, Here you are. It's all to do with self love. Yeah, and personal growth
in that little Niche there. So I do have one ones available. Like I said, it will help me get my hours in for my
psychology degree, even though I'm doing like
talking therapies with like mind and stuff services. And, you know, that would
help me. Is you guys. No pressure. So a
little scam here. Beautiful. So please note, guys, any information provided in
this course is intended for informational purposes
only and should not be considered as a substitute
for professional, medical advice, diagnosis
or treatment, obviously. So it's really here for you. And like I said, it's like, I'm not qualified yet. There no credentials here. So While every effort has been made to ensure the
accuracy and reliaility of the information is essential to consult
qualified healthcare professional for personalized
advice and guidance, just like contradict myself. No, it's to do three things.
It will be explained. Any
2. How Our Thoughts Link To Feelings and Behaviors: So, guys, identifying
negative self talk. We're all victim of
this, aren't we? We've all done this. We've all done this no matter who we are. We've all had that a minute
where we've just spoke to ourselves negatively,
and I promise you. I actually just happened
to me because I just filed my te on my laptop, and I was like, what do
you call myself a pleb? I think, probably a Swearbd in. And we're all guilty of it, but what we've got to
do is identify it. And I think I
agreed with myself. I was like, no, I'm not
going to change that because I was a pleb. I I could have spoke
to myself kinder, but we'll discuss
some more into that. Yeah. I could have been like, no, well, actually,
it wasn't my fault. It's because I've got
so much equipment set up on my desk, for you guys to record
this little thing magic. Ooh. And, you know,
learn something from it. I think that would
be really great. So, identify negative self talk. So again, I put all the
annotations on here, and Canva was like, No, we're just doing A is one. I was like Great. So what I'd like for you to
do right now is to look at, like, you know, how
you're feeling right now. And Like, look at
the mood scale, are you feeling super negative, or you feeling neutral? Are you feeling neutral, or are you happy? It's okay to never be
like 100% number five, that but plus five. It's okay. It's okay to never
feel happy all the time. We can't feel happy
all the time. Like I always say sometimes you need a rainy day before
you have a sunny day, creates a rainbow, or
that cody cheesy stuff. But Think about that. How are you feeling today? What is your mood
in this moment? I'm just going to look at
this scale from a book, which is not that book. I got my book from information
from the viable sources, and these are
books. No Chat GPT. I don't think I
actually use chat GPT in this or anything. There's no AI, so I'm very
pide of myself of doing this because everyone uses
AI and stuff, don't they? Yeah. Yeah, guys, there's a downloadable
mood chart for you guys to keep track of maybe keep track of how you feel over
a period of time. This really awakens you to
understand your behavior, your behavior, your moods. And notice Become aware of them. Notice if there's something
you need to change or really identify
what's affecting you. This can really help with that. So my Internet has
just gone out, so hopefully it's still fine. Yes, it's just a reflection. How is your at this moment? It really is important to tell the difference between
thoughts and emotions. Not people do tie them together. It's something that Well, they don't go together. It's definitely
important to tell the difference between
thoughts and emotions. I think we're going to talk
a little bit about this, and it is common for us
to talk about feelings when we're talking
about our emotions. Emotions aren't
like For example, emotions that person
is angry with me. That's not an emotion.
That's a thought. If you say, I feel like
Jeff is angry with me. Like it's common for
us to talk about our feelings when we're actually talking
about our thoughts. It's so strange. You can actually use a CBT
model to identify this, which is all this, which
I all set up and Canva, Let me down, which is fine. T just find Let me
just set myself up.
3. CBT Model: So for example, this is great
for you to write it down, like a situation and you to identify and have a
good outcome from it. And this can happen in all
sorts of different ways, and I'll show you
how it can happen and with our emotions
tied to our thoughts. It's really funny. So an example of this is like you're meeting a
friend at a restaurant. At a certain time and
they don't turn up. What? So what are you thinking?
What are you feeling? So it's like, my friend is
never late. What has happened? Something awful
must have happened, and that's worrying anxiety. So the thought is, like,
something must have happened. Oh, my goodness, are they alive? That emotion is
worrying anxiety. So you get the body
sensations, lovely jobly, and you know you
can become anxious, like you can shake your
heart can become oh, and, you know, it's like
one of those old, like Warner brothers
kind of thing. And yeah, it can Mise. You know, you can have,
you've probably sweat. I don't know. It
depends on the person. But it also gets to,
what is the action? What is your behavior?
What you're going to do? So you can call here,
home work, partner, maybe even the police if
you're really worried, which I think might
be a bit of a step. So Another thought.
So that's one. Another thought is like,
he obviously finds me dull and depressing that he doesn't want
to meet with me. Sorry for my life.
No, that's sadness. That's the emotion
that's tied to. And the sinking feeling is the pit that you
feel in your stomach, the rattle in your
heart, when you breathe. And, you know, you go home and you cry on
your bed for days. No. You can go home.
So that's another one. So this is like how it all kind of like ties
in with each other. You know, even anger,
well, you know, you can get really, like, h, he's just so selfish,
why would he not? You know, tense up muscles and, you know, phone him with
a really angry message. So these are ways like these are your that p hands and how they can actually occur. It just depends
and these are how your thoughts and your
emotions are tied. Really is challenging. But really try to try to
think of something positive. I'm saying that that's easy. It's not, it's a practice, and we're going to
go through it a little bit in this
presentation, this course. That's the one. Next one is
4. How Our Thoughts Can Limit Us: Challenging self criticism,
and my best friend. Is heart, easier said than done. L, like I said, we're
going to go through it, and here we are wonderful, wonderful stuff that cameras
really annoyed me with. So Self criticism
can paralyze you. It really can lt you. I really can limit you from doing the things
that you want to do, have the best in life. It is road box, but it's
limits in front of you, so it can affect your
change in growth. Like, If you're like
stagnant water, you're like a puddle
or stagnant water, you're not going to go anywhere. If you evaporate, if
you get of science. So you're not going
to go anywhere. You're not going to
become a beautiful river and a waterfall. You're going to become
a stagnant puddle. So they like these sorts. If we're going to go
into, like, yeah, challenging them because they can actually be like a parrot, L I use a little parrot
there. It's like cutie. I find that parrot really cute, but parrots are like, my
uncle's got a parrot. It just scares me. Try to take my achilles
heel. Is thanks. No, that's a lie. I have no idea. It went
on the back of my ankle. Anyway, it's not aches heel. Achilles is a person learning. Okay, God. I don't know. Okay. So They can make you, think of every single
mistake and failure when, you know, it's actually
room for growth. And we're going into positive affirmations where
it's just like, Oh, a failure, blah, blah, bh, when actually, you
could say, Okay, maybe that happened, but I'm going to take that as an
opportunity for growth. Okay, so Yes. And with the whole
parrot in your ear, this can actually be a
habit that you're not even aware of until
you notice it. Like you really have to
notice your thoughts. Like when I spilled
my tea, I was like, you my brain was like, No, you just said something
negative about yourself. In my brain. She's good. Yeah, so my brain was like you just said
something negative. And I was aware of it and I think that does
come with practice. Like, when things happen to us, we can feel remorse. Thinking clearly about.
Prevents you from thinking clearly about yourself
and your life, it can help you ignore reality. Like things if you think, something is really bad. So you're like, Oh my gosh. You know, so if you're like in a like drama show or something, and you do like sing
a song or do an act. I don't know. And you thought, Oh, my goodness,
that's the worst. It could be anything.
Like, you're on great British bake off and you bake a cake,
and you're like, this sucks, and Paul Hollywood
gives you the handshake. So it's like Even if you don't think what you've
created is great, what you've said is
great in a presentation, I might not think, I
might regret this. I'm like my God, why? No, I'm not going to. I'm not going to regret it. I'm just going to put
it out there. I'm going to be like, that's amazing. You can't be too modest or you can't be too
full of yourself. No, I'm kidding. So But others may have
found it wonderful. Like, Others may
have found it like the most incredible spectacular thing that I've ever seen. Yet, if you think differently and you're too
harsh on yourself, you'll always see it that
way as like it's pants, as it's the worst, like, you know, So that's
ignoring the reality of things, thinking about y
po it is really. Really. So Don't let it kick
you when you're dye, criticizing yourself for
having difficulties, will not solve them.
It won't solve them. Like I said that puddle, you'll always stand
that puddle state, you won't become
the amazing river because you're not giving
yourself that opportunity, you're kicking yourself
when you're dye, you're telling
yourself it's terrible when actually what
you've created and who you are as a person is actually magnificent and
you don't notice it. So it's your job now
to notice it. So
5. Self Critical Thoughts: So self critical thoughts za. So awareness, become more aware and critical
wait, become more sorry. Become more aware of
your critical thoughts. So Notes when you
put yourself down. I just did with the
whole te thing and I spilt it Oh gosh. I'm not sure if those
keys work anymore, but sure, fine, whatever. So It may actually be a habit that has been
ingrained in your soul, and you may not even
be aware of it. Like, it does. It's a habit to build awareness. So it's a habit you put the habit there,
you take it away. I like my friend says,
like you can put a jumper on and you
can take it off. So you really have to just notice when
you put yourself down, observe it and how
it makes you feel. I actually didn't
get attached to the whole pleb thing
because I just knew that it wasn't actually my fault and it's not actually
how I feel about myself. Look at the changes in your emotional state when you say something
harsh about yourself. The first step of changing a habit is to spot
them when they occur. Change the way you
think about it. It's a habit to
build up over time. There is a worksheet. For you guys to question yourself
critical thoughts and that will be attached. I didn't put the
little download. There's always a little
printer on my website. No on my page where I do this. So re thinking. Hello. So I have a thing
called worry cards. I literally get a little card. I don't know if
one's in my site. I used to have loads. Yes. So I get cards like this. And I do have true
f. I just have a So I get like one
of these cards, and what I do and we'll go
over this in a little while. So this is great for you,
so get a little card. G these cards. I'm not
sure presentation cards. And write down what
you know is the lie. Write down how you
feel about yourself. Write down the lie. And on the other side, write the truth. It's my information. Write the truth and put
it on a mirror anywhere. I don't know in your face. You'll probably get the
sunglasses in attached. I don't know. Okay, write it on
this truth side. Put it on your mirror. Look at it and say every day, say the truth every day. And you'll see the
difference is crazy. It really is crazy, but that's a practice a habit
that you have to keep. Even if you don't feel
that you need it anymore, please just do it because
you'll lose it over time, which is crazy
because I used to say affirmations for myself and I felt like I didn't need them. And then well, actually, I did. There was a point
entire actually. Yeah, I do. So rethinking, change the thought
pan, the outcome. E That was one thing you
can do with experimenting. So But it comes along with practice treating
yourself more kindly. Again, it's a habit
that we have to reinforce and it's no
overnight success, but eventually it will
happen. It's just up to you. Really is up to you, and
you'll notice the difference. Experiment with doing
things differently, what you you know, what you're thinking,
think something else. Again, build that habit,
practice, practice, practice. Also, except that
you're not perfect. This helps you set
realistic targets. You're not going to
turn to unicorns. I really want to turn I really
want to turn to mermaid, but I just had to accept
that I wasn't perfect, and that wasn't going
to happen for me. Set realistic targets
for yourself. No, I'm being silly, sorry. But if you set these
realistic targets, once, you know,
you've achieved them, you're going to feel
happy about it. Like, you don't have to we're not going to
the moon, okay? Like, for one thing, I started running
because I like, I get seasonal like, if you guys follow my
podcasts and stuff, but I talked about seasonal
affective disorder and how really affects me. Oh, my goodness. I hate it. As soon as the clocks
go back, I'm like, Oh, look depressed, worst. But I was like, No, that's not
going to happen this year. So I just got up this morning and I just
did a ten minute run. And I was going to
go right round. But I was like, No, let's just start with going around the
block because actually, that's an achievable
thing for me to do. I set my goal too high, and I was like, right, we're
going right round the town. And yeah, that didn't happen
because I got to the bot, and I was like, there's no way. I was like, I was like, that gif I was just
like running is hard and that Chris Pratt one. Yeah, I didn't really help, but I know eventually that
I've done that. Okay, great. I know that I'm going to do, like, a little bit more, and that goes with you, like, start small and then
progress progress. And once you achieve that goal, be happy about it and
that can help you stay motivated. Do what
works for you. Again, experiment. Perfection doesn't matter. It's consistency, and
the more you do things, the easier it will get. So
6. Rewiring Our Thoughts: And now on to positive
affirmations. So this is great, and I'm so glad again that Canva decided to put it
all on the screen at once. Amazing. So once we've worked
through our smart girls, and this kind of comes up
with the warrior cards again. So This is wonderful. So you get an unhelpful
thought or belief, and that could be like I
don't feel good enough. You can change it
to the alternative, which is I'm more
than good enough. You ditch the unhelpful for. That is not here. We do not know her. She's gone. She's done. History. I can't do anything. If you say that to yourself,
you will believe it. You should change
it to something that's relevant to you and say, I'm sure there are
some things I'm great at that I have
yet to discover. And that's the case
of most people say, I'm not good at anything.
There's nothing I can do. It's like, well, you have
to go out and experiment, you have to go out and
try things in life. The only limits are you. There's a way. There's a way. There's always a
way to do things. So Oh, there's actually a
spelling error. Whoops. So it's like the unhelpful
thought would be, I can't have friends
because I'm weird. He said, I could have
friends because I'm weird. Well, you could
probably change that. That's a positive. I could have friends because I'm weird. Wonderful, or another positive would be unworthy of connection and acceptance just as I am. That's a good way to look at it. Really, look, we've gone through smart things and
triggers for things, how your emotions
trigger your thoughts, and thoughts trigger emotions. So If you started saying
positive things about yourself, you will start to feel good. Obviously, if that makes sense. So say, like, you know,
I'm more than good enough. Don't say I'm good enough. Say I'm more than good enough. Take that to the next level. So really think like
what's negative? Get those warrior cards
out, get the cards out, just think brainstorm, write the warrior
cards, tell the lie. You can cap socket
with your hand. Lie, and then truth. And then say, what is the
lie and what is truth? Because negative thinking
I said blocks you from the realistic
thoughts of things. Affirmations, repeat
them like a mantra, every day, get up, set it as your ring tone, your
voice recording, or you saying your things, especially when you've got
Mom's highlighted anxiety, they'll gradually
shift your mindset to help you feel more confident. So really like Think about what it is that you've
got to say to yourself, say the truth, as the
mugels say the truth out, or my favorite one is
not an affirmation. What is it? Biddes
proverb is the sun, the moon, the truth,
and those are three things that cannot
longer stay hidden. I think that's a really
cool way to look at it and never lie ever because
you will be found out. The sun, the moon, the truth, three things that can
no longer stay hidden. Love it. Love it
7. Smart Goals: On. So setting realistic goals. So we're going to talk about
smart goals, the best. This is different. When I
wrote this, I was like, Okay, so achievable,
sometimes is not achievable. I think it's attainable and
realistic some relevant, but I guess we'll go realistic because we're setting those
realistic goals for ourself. And there is a downloadable. Look at the printed
sign, what are we doing? S specific. When setting
a goal, be specific. When setting a goal, be specific about what you
want to accomplish. Think about this as the mission
statement for your goal. So You got to think about the, the dogs, the ws. Think about who. Consider who has to be involved to
achieve this goal. If there is someone, if
there isn't, what is it? Think about exactly what
you're trying to accomplish, obviously, and don't be
afraid to get very detailed. This is just for you.
It's not for any, it's not for Santa to
read, it's just for you. When you'll get more specific, I can't say that
word, specific about this question in the
time band section. T band, T bond. I don't know. I thought it
was something else as well. So Section of defining
your smart goals, but you should at least
set a time frame, 100%. W again, this question
may not always apply, especially if you're setting
your personal goals. But if there is a location or relevant
event, identify it there. Also my gosh, I forgot b which
and why Oh, my goodness. So Here, this isn't
something you have to do. There is a downloadable.
It's just something to help you, you know,
food for fort. So determine any relative
obstacles or requirements, and this question can be beneficial on deciding if
your goal is realistic. And the y? Is that the last one? Yes, it is. So what is
the reason for the goal? Because it's really good to have a y because it helps motivate you and stay passionate about your goal and what
you want to achieve. Mm. Oh, my goodness. I feel like we just
spoke way too much. So what are the metrics? What metrics are you going to determine if you meet the goal? This makes the
goal more tangible because it provides a
way to measure progress. If it's a project that you is going to take a
few months to complete, then get some milestones consider specific tasks
to accomplish them. Yeah. This focuses on how
important the goal is to you, achievable, what you can do to make it attainable
or achievable. I guess that's the
same thing. What you can do and make
it achievable and may re will it require developing new
skills, change attitudes. The goal is meant to
inspire motivation, not discouragement. Think about how to
accomplish a goal, if you have the
task to need it or not and consider what you
would do to attain them. So relevant was this quick. So relevance refers to focusing
on something that makes sense with the broader goals,
relevance or realistic. Like I said, again, is
your goal realistic? You know, I something
that makes sense? Do we want to become
mermaids, do we? Yeah. Also time bound. This last one, anyone
can set goals, but if it lacks
realistic timing. Helps motivate you
to set that time, and sometimes it can
deflate you as well if you've not achieved
it, but who cares? It will happen when it happens. So if you do set them, you might succeed at it. That's smart goals for you. We did it. Well, I did it.
8. The Next Steps: So that is it for this. I'm so glad that Campus
put it up again. So thank you so much
for joining me. I really hope you
learned something from this and hopefully it
helped in some way, if it didn't, you're more than welcome to comment and say, it's C. Remember that you do have the power to change your mindset and improve
yourself esteem. It is totally up to you. You do have the power. I
want to say the power. I think a hen puts
a sort up and says, I have the power, and
that's exactly what you should be doing too.
You should be doing that. If you guys want to
take the next step or go a little bit
further with me, you can schedule a
one to one session. If you like this, if you thought I might
be of use to you. You can do that. We
can help you with it. If there's anything you
wanted to go through in this, maybe I'll set up a one to one. I think I do have
a plan to do that. So you can sign up to a
newsletter if you want more little nuggets of information that
might benefit you. That's on my website, the
Christ Line podcast, CdK. And follow my profile, whatever, because I'm putting this
course on a few places, so follow my profile on it. Also, just listen to my podcast. It's free. It's there for
you if you don't like that, I do again have a blog on my website for you
again, that's free. And you can talk to me on that. So that would be a great
thing for you to do. It's just all about stories of, you know, daily struggles
and things to do. It's all about personal growth. So my podcast self love, personal growth and self worth, called crystal line
because it's about being crystal clear on your
purpose and your worth. I feel like I said
at the beginning. I hope I did. I felt like
I was going to do that. So Yes, so thank
you so much, guys. Remember that the
journey towards self acceptance and
confidence is unique. Everyone's going to find different things that
works with them. You know, take your time
and be patient with it. Don't expect perfection. It's not an overnight success. And also celebrate
every little victory, like if you feel like, I had a happy fought
about myself, go get yourself an ice cream
or go get yourself a tree. Because you deserve it. So guys, thank you so much for
being here with me. Yeah. This is a little course. I've
had so much fun doing it. This is my first
one, so don't judge. But I hope you guys
got something from it, and I'll see you in the next one because there's
going to be a few more, and I hope you enjoyed it. And so yeah, I've been Solar, your host, and I really hope
you will think positively. That's a great sign off. Okay. Thank you. Bye.
Summer Clarke, Life Coach
