Assertiveness: 17 Steps to “Rock Star” Confidence

1. Introduction to Show Confidence and Credibility: Hi. My name is Jason T. Dick and I help people give amazing, confident, incredible presentations. And today I'm going to show you exactly how to show the kind of confidence and credibility that your audience needs to see so that they can feel like they can trust you. And if they can trust you, they will listen to you. If they listen to you, they will take action on what you want them to do. Now, here's the thing. All of you watching this right now fall into two boats. We call him unders and overs the unders air. Incredibly under confident the overs are incredibly overconfident. Both of them are a ditch you can fall into. They're both not so good. And what we want to do is get you if the exact right confidence that you need to be able to get your audience to buy into what you have to say. So here's the thing some of you are saying right now. Well, I don't need to worry about showing confidence and credibility. I'm fine now. I beg to differ, and I'm gonna teach you why in just a second others you're saying I'll never be able to show confidence in credibility. I'm scared to death when I go up there. I can't ever do this. Well, I beg to differ with that as well. And I'm going to teach you how to how to do this. And I'm gonna teach you why I beg to differ with two different stories going to start with a history professor. He's one of the underst, incredibly under confident. He told me, says Jason, I gave this presentation for my history history class. It was about 150 people in my lecture and he got done with the lecture and he said, Jason, I thought everything went great. I mean, I really knew my content. I did freak out a little bit when this is a new professor. When I first started, but I really knew my content. I said, Well, then how do you How do you know what went well or didn't go well, he said, because I gave up my evaluations, and when I did that, I got him back and almost everybody had some kind of a comment that said he knew its stuff , but he just didn't feel like he should showed much confidence and credibility. And the professor looked at me, goes well, why? And I said, Well, because you knew your stuff. That doesn't mean that they thought you knew it or that they felt that you knew it or that they felt the confidence in credibility that you needed to show is a difference between what you know and what they feel. And I always say this toe audience toe people who have audiences. It's not about you, it's about your audience. But what you do up here can make them feel a certain way. Some of you are thinking, Well, that's great for that, professor. But what about me? I'm the overconfident or need this already show plenty. I have plenty of confidence. I'm never scared to go onstage. In fact, I don't need this whole public speaking thing cause I'm fine. Well, that's a huge ditch to because here's the thing. There's a project manager that I met and she actually said to me, Jason, I thought I was fine. I was one of those over, she said. I said, Well, what do you mean? She's well, I gave this presentation and I thought I totally crush it. But then I had a bunch of people come up to me and say, What did you know? That you were pacing? And that you did the T Rex stance and that you only look to this side of the room? If you haven't seen this, you should go check out one of my blog's. I wrote about Donald Trump's inauguration speech because he's one of those overs. Now he's an overconfident where he actually doesn't know that there's some things he does that makes him look nervous. It makes him a look. Not confident, incredible, even though he may be. In fact, he is a performer, Energizer. So he actually Energizer performer. So he has this natural confidence. But if he doesn't show it, it doesn't matter. Same thing if you're a natural under, if you have this natural fear, if you don't show it, it doesn't matter. See that? So what do we do about this? If you look at the screen right now, you'll see a guy that's naturally confident, incredible looking, and this is why I chose this picture. I thought it was great, by the way, Russell Crowe, who is an Energizer by the way in the movie. Gladiator is one of my favorite movies of all time, so I really couldn't resist putting this picture up there. But the reason I wanted to share this with you is if you look at me right now, you'll see that I have two things in my hand. I've got this power point clicker, which is how I moved from slide to slide so that I can keep track of what I'm showing you. I want this white board back here that I'm gonna draw on throughout this screen or throughout this this entire video on the screen. And I've got this book which you should have. You actually have the ability to download this book. It's got this guy right on the cover and it's gonna teach you It's a 19 page book that's going to teach you how to show confidence, credibility if you use it to follow along with everything I say and do. Because here's why, as we go through this next 60 minutes with this, I'm going to teach you absolutely everything that you need to know in order to be able to show more confidence and credibility up on stage. and I'm going to do it in three different ways and you'll see this UNP aged three of this book. Take a look on the screen, fill it in with the box with me Right now, I'm gonna show you how to use confident language. I'm gonna show you how to speak with a natural, confident voice in tone of voice. And I'm gonna show you how to show confidence with your body language and write this down in the box even though it's not on the screen right now. Your facial expressions. Now, when you do this when you write this down in the box UNP aged three, I want you to put a percentage next to each of these because back in the early sixties, Elbert Marais be in one of the educational psychologist back then did a study, and this study, by the way, has been completely contradicted in a number of ways. And there's lots of debate about it, but one thing remains the same. And I'm gonna teach you that right now. I want you to write down what the results of his study were next to this box where it says he's confident language right down that 7% of how much confidence you show is your language . 7%. Where to speak with a confident voice that's 38% of the confidence you show comes from your tone of voice and how you say things with your voice, your pace, your inflections, your volume and then where it says show confidence with body language and facial expressions, I want you to write down 55%. Why am I sharing with you these percentages? Well, here's why. It turns out that expert after expert of for expert has contradicted this data as unreliable. They've said that well, you only did it with a certain number of people in the way you set this up. It wasn't a really reliable experiment. And by the way, I want to tell you I completely agree with that. It is unreliable data, but it's valid data. And what's the difference? Well, there. If you google the difference between reliability and validity, you'll find that reliability is based off data. Validity is based off of the feelings you get based on a certain situation, and you'll know you even know. Based on folk wisdom. That is not what you say, but it's how you say it. It's how you say it that makes people really jump when they listen to you. It's the same thing with public speaking. In these three things of showing confidence, your language is important. We're gonna get to that. You're gonna learn all sorts of things you could do with your language. Show more confidence. But don't assume just because you have confident language, you're a confident speaker. Sure, you may be a confident blogger with the confident language, but that doesn't mean you're not to speak it in show confidence when you do it. And it's certainly doesn't mean that you know how to show confidence with your body language. Did you read? Adjusted by the way, I'll do it again, and it certainly doesn't mean that you know how to show confidence with your body language . I use my hand. I paused. I was completely still. When I said it, I looked you straight into the camera in your eyes, and I said that that doesn't come across on a page. It doesn't come across with just your language. That's what I'm going to teach you today. 2. Replace Words of Uncertainty with Words of Conviction: we're going to start with how to use this confident language the 7%. And by the way, if you're still wondering about this validity and reliability, write down the word effect A f f e c T. You're a factor how you feel when you listen to someone Onley 7% of that comes from the language they use. But how you feel when you listen to someone 38% comes from your voice, Their voice and 55 comes from their body language and most importantly, their facial expressions were gonna cover it all today in this program. Actually, before I get started with all this, you should know that this program is part of about 20 some odd to 30 some odd programs that we have in the public speaking lab. This is one of those programs. I am going to refer to a number of other programs in that lab. And if you're a member of the lab, I want you to know you have access to all of these programs. And the reason why this is so important is because as a member of the lab, when I show you all that's in this program or that's in this program. You get to go right away and go look at that program and learn that piece. Because all of this stuff is interconnected. It's all interconnected. We're going to start with how to use confident language in one of my favorite things. If you look at your screen right now, is that the girl that's on this screen? She just looks confident, doesn't she? If you look at the screen right now, you can see that she looks confident. Why? What is it about her that looks confident? Now? That's the body language. But what she says could be even more important on a page. And then you can. You want to understand what to say. You can then use your tone in your body language to make it come alive. So here it is. The screen that you're seeing right now is also on page four of your book. There are 123456789 10 11 terms of uncertainty. I am a firm believer. You should not read what's on a page on a screen shot. You shouldn't read that. You could read what's on the page but shouldn't read the screenshot. Let your audience read it. But in this case, I'm gonna have you write down one thing next to him on page four next to all these words right down that you absolutely want to remove them all from your vocabulary. When Europe here, public speaking, get rid of them all. Why turn the page? Look on page five and injured. Looking on page five. Listen to me as I read to you and we're gonna go back and forth between this screen you're looking at right now and watching because I want you to watch me as you listen. But mostly, just listen because my tone is what you really care about right now. Don't worry about my body language. As much as the tone and the words that I say is the most important. That's what we're in right now. The words. So here it is. You say this. I really think that if you're up on stage and you say, you know, I really think that it's important for you to do X, y or Z. I really think that this is what you want to talk about next. I really think that presentations are where it's at in public, speaking whatever you say after, I really think that what your listener thinks is this Well, why would you be saying it if you didn't really think it? Yeah, that's not confident. It's not credible. Another one I hope to cover. Here's the thing, your listener things. I want somebody who's actually going to cover this to do with authority. Well, I guess that I want to hear from somebody who isn't guessing. Another person will say. Another presenter that thinks they're showing confidence. Or actually, what people really think they're doing right here is showing humility. This is not showing humility. This is showing a lack of credibility. We'll talk about to show humility a little bit later, but for right now I feel like this is the right thing to do here. Well, I want to hear from someone who knows this is the right thing, and the most common on this screen is what perhaps well, I want to hear from somebody who is sure about what he or she is saying not. Perhaps here's some more. Well, maybe we'll talk about that later in your presentation. You say this, By the way, this is all stuff that I literally over 10,000 speakers of watching them over the last 10 years have documented that people say over and over and over again. If you think you don't do this, think again. And the second have you do activity where you actually record yourself present, I guarantee you, some of these are gonna come up. Maybe we'll talk about that later. Well, are you ensure this is important or that you know this subject well enough to cover it. Either way, I'm finding you unreliable these air, by the way actual things that audience members said. Based on the things that were said here, I'm gonna try to show you. You'll try. Well, you mean there's a chance you'll fail? We're going to kind of cover this. You should know if you're a millennial. If your millennial you were born, it's one where millennials born. They were typically born in the eighties nineties. Two thousands ish around there. If you're a millennial, this is your number one most unconfident, uncredible thing to say is kind of or sort off if you say it kind off. Well, that means you're not sure you're actually going to do it or you. It's actually true, if you say sort of Well, you know, the answer is sort of this. Well, that means you really don't know the answer if you'll humor me. It's a very common one. For baby boomers and traditionalists. That means you need permission. Your audience is thinking this. You need permission to tell them something that may be inappropriate or appropriate. And if I don't humor, you will. Are you going to keep doing it anyway? And then the last one? That's probably one of the most common for Generation Xers, which is my generation is. Well, let me make a good point. Or let me go ahead and do this so you need permission to make a good point. Are you uncertain? This is a good point. Do you see this? I want to say something here. We talk about fillers and other programs. There's a program that's called eloquence that's in the PS lab and in that lab, the public speaking lab. It's an actual program that talks about this exact steps. You need to speak in a more eloquent way, and we cover all the fillers that you need. But this we don't cover their because these are the things people say that either show confidence or not show confidence or not. What do we do to fix all this stuff in order to do that? Look in your in your books right now with me on page six to get rid of all these words that if you looked on page four were terms of uncertainty. Page six. We're gonna replace those with words that show conviction, and there are five of them. I want you to look at the screen right now and see if you can find the five. You can look in your book if you want to cheat, but for right now, just look at the screen, see if you can find the five. Here they are. Instead of saying, Well, maybe I'll talk about that later. I will talk about that at two o'clock. Here's what it would sound like. I'll talk about that at two o'clock, for example, somebody asked me a question. Well, let me ask you this. What would happen if if the clouds were green? Hey, thanks for that question. Go ahead and write that down. I'll talk about that at two o'clock. See that? Another program you should check out in the PS lab is called Boomerang. How to answer questions effectively. Powerful program. We'll talk more about that program in just a second, but it teaches you more about I answer these question. Here's another one. You know, I really hope to do this. Well, here is what you want to say. Instead, I'm going to show you in response to a question. Well, it's sort of like Instead of that, you'd say Yes, it is like that And here's the connection. Another one. I guess you can say that instead you can say, Certainly you're absolutely let me give you an example is a very common one that you'll hear. Here's what you say. Instead, I'll give you an example. Here's an example. You see how subtle these are, But the greatest presenters on the planet have added up lots of little subtle things to create amazing presentations. Take a look on page six. There they are. I will I'm going to Yes, absolutely. And certainly. And lastly, if you look at the bottom of page six, could you highlight this with me. By the way, you're going to need a highlighter a pen throughout this entire hour because we're gonna take a lot of notes. But on page six and if you haven't printed this up yet Look at all the notes I've taken on here. If you haven't pretty jurors up, go ahead and do it now. I want you highlight. This will put it up on the screen when somebody asks, Can you do this? Give a response even more positive than a simple yes. Say absolutely. You're going to get this by the time you leave today. Well, here's your first activity. It's up on the screen. I want you. You're gonna do a ton of activities throughout all the different programs we have in the public speaking lab. And this is the 1st 1 for this program. I want you to record yourself presenting for five minutes and go back and listen to the recording. You could take any smartphone and do this. If you don't have a smartphone or a recording device, simply ask a friend to come over and watch you present for five minutes and have them search for and write down all of those 11 words of uncertainty and then figure out what words you gonna use instead to show conviction and then re record that same presentation this time replacing those words of uncertainty with words of conviction. I literally want you to stop the tape right now, and we're going to give you five minutes to do this. See, It's really easy to sit here and watch me teach all this. Uncle, That's interesting. That's interesting. And certainly you can fast forward this video right now and go to the next spot. I'm totally fine with that. If that's how you learn and you want to do that. But I encourage you to take these five minutes right now. Go on, record yourself. Go give a presentation. Go listen to it. Go do this right now. We're going to give you five minutes on the tape to do this activity right now. 3. Use Directionals to Establish Leadership: Hey, we're back. We're still talking about words that are going to make you look more confident, credible. We're going to get to your tone of voice and your body language and facial expressions in a moment later on in this program. But the words you use are important. They're really important. And we're gonna talk about all of them all somebody. But I wonder what you mean. All of them. Where'd you get all these words? I used to work for a health care software company for about 10 years, and this company had when I left the company to start ruled the room, this company had over 6000 employees. So for 10 years, I actually one of my jobs was to not only train trainers who were all about speaking, but I would actually teach people about public speaking, and they would bring literally hundreds and thousands of people to my presentations. And I would coach a lot of them one on one and one of the joys I got. And when I started ruled room, I did. The same thing is I got to sit in an audience and I would watch a presentation sometimes for up to two hours. I would then take notes. During those two hours. It was typically around 20 pages of notes. Then I would go back to my office and I'd spent around six hours putting all those notes together. And I would give them around 10 to 15 pages of things they were good at, and that would give them about five pages of things they could work on, always divided up into three goals. And when I did this, this is where I learned from riel presentations. Riel talks what people struggle with and the actual words they use. And here's another one that people use. So let's go ahead and highlighted. It's on page seven. Turn there with me right now. Look what it says. I'm gonna put this up on the screen. It's inevitable. You will miss. Speak in some way. You'll jumble your words amid information to give the wrong answer. Because you misunderstood a question. When you're about to correct yourself, highlight this and underline it. Curb the impulse to say I'm sorry. Instead, offer an apology. Now, why would you do this? If you look at the next two paragraphs, I'm not gonna put him up. I just want you to watch this apology. If you say I apologize, that's a verb. If you say I'm sorry. That's an adjective. The verb I apologize implies you made an action that you want to apologize for, which is totally OK because you're applying for the action. But when you say I'm sorry, you're actually describing yourself as an adjective. I'm sorry, person and certainly in front of one on one, By the way, I'm sorry is totally cool. You might need to say to somebody You know what? I'm really sorry, but when you're in front of a group of 100 people or more and you say I'm sorry, you just look on credible. You look on confident. It's okay to apologize. Oh, I apologize for that. We should be on page six, not page five. But I'm sorry for that. There's just that little thing that happens if you're wonder what that little thing is. Look back on page seven. Look what it says in the last paragraph. Underneath apologized, it says. Nor should you ever say I didn't mean to say that underlined this good. Presenters say only what they intend to say, Here's the next one. Confident, credible words. We're still talking about those. The next one is, Should you show you should know your audiences world. Look what it says in this first paragraph. I was working with a client who literally was speaking to a number of CEOs and says in front of them, You know, I'm not a CEO, but And as soon as he said this, I can tell you interviewed the CEOs after the presentation, they all said as soon as he said, I'm not a CEO, we were done. We didn't want to listen to him anymore. Now that's kind of seems like an audience. That's a little impatient. I get that. But here's the thing. This whole, this whole presentation. The whole conference was built around CEOs. So for him to not be a CEO and se he wasn't. Now is it okay for somebody who's not a CEO to present the CEO? Sure, but you don't need to say it instead, if you turn the page page A. Why don't you take a cue from one of my clients named Tony? Tony was a developer of software, an amazing, amazing developer and he spoke in front of 150. He was not a pharmacist, by the way. But he developed software for pharmacists and physicians, and he spoke in front of 150 of the most some of the most influential powerful, smart, wise pharmacists and physicians. I had ever met me there from all over the world. And when he finished, the presentation was around two hours talking about this software. And you should know, Tony actually got in a van and drove around the whole country toe learn about pharmacists and learn about physicians so that he could write software that would really speak to them . When he got done with this presentation, he never said he wasn't a pharmacist. By the way, I actually overheard a pharmacist one of most into physician, one of most respected pharmacist, one of the most respected physicians. Walk up to him and say, Tony, where did you get your pharmaceutical degree? Your pharmacy degree. Where'd you get it? And the physician wanted to ask him if he was a physician. Now, Tony wasn't either one, but he was so credible, so confident that they thought that he waas. But He never said, You know, I'm not a physician or I'm not a pharmacist. Here's the other next thing Page eight highlight This. Acknowledged the expertise of your audience. I want to tell you something. I believe the year was 2000 and three. I was asked to speak in front of a whole bunch of physicians. Now these physicians were also some of the crumbs of the crump, some of the best in the world at what they did. And I was teaching them about how to use some software for an inpatient hospital. Go live, and I'll never forget one of the training coordinators there. When I gave this presentation said to me not Jason, I just want you to know that if you screw this up, the entire Goa life could be at risk. Not only that, she said, but you're gonna have some tough cookies here. It would be challenging people in this room that, frankly, we have had, and she used the word. Frankly, I'll talk about that in another program. Frankly, we've had a ah lot of issues with the presenters that try to present to them because they will just take over the entire presentation. So she says, Good luck you when you try to do this, but make sure you hit it, hit it out of the park. Well, what I did, and this is what you want to do. It's on page eight is I acknowledge the expertise of the audience. So what I did with this physician is this is if you look at the quote here, it says you're never gonna be able to present to this guy. He's gonna derail your presentation every time. So I decided to go up to him during break. And you can do this. You can do this during your presentation to teach how to do this in a later section, this program And you can literally say to this guy or any person that you're talking to, you can say these words you can say, Well, what would make this presentation worthwhile to you? E if I said if we learned we talked about her any what are the things that would make it worthwhile? He looked at me, goes, You know what, Jason? I'll tell you something. Do you know what I want? My presenters, the people that come talk to me about this software to be like I said, Well, no, Tell me he goes Well, number one, I want them to respect what I dio. I wrote that down. So the other thing is, I want them to know what they're talking about with respect to health care and this software. Well, he actually summed up perfectly what I'm telling you, If you want to look credible, if you want to look confident, there's two kinds of credibility. There's the credibility that you, the presenter have where they think you know what you're talking about. And there's the credibility that your audience has that you can unleash Polin and news in your presentation. And we're gonna talk about the circle of knowledge a little bit later on, and I'm going to talk about small talk and how you can do these two things that I did with him. But by the middle of this day, I like to say it this way. He was in the palm of my hand, and I don't mean that I was manipulated. I mean, he and I had built report with one another, and I was in the palm of his hand. We were exchanging back and forth. He was looking credible and therefore I was looking credible. So how do you do this? Well, the circle of knowledge is one of those things that you can dio, and I'm actually going to refer you to another PS lab programme. Now they're ruled from Public Speaking Lab program. It's called if you want to write it in the bottom of page eight, the no fear killer Killer presentation opener than no fear Killer presentation. Open your learn all about the circle of knowledge there and how you can use it in order to be able to get that credibility from him, which then gives you your credibly all with the words you say. By the way, let me give you one last thing could do with someone like him. You can write this in the top of page nine. You can ask expert questions and you'll see the paragraph in the top of my we're gonna put it on the screen when you do this, given responses will give them a chance to look good and shine in front of their peers, and this makes them look more credible, giving them such an opportunity. Boost your credibly. What's an expert question? Just a question. We're only a certain number of people in the room. We'll know the answer and you literally give them a chance to shine. I'm saying, Did you notice? I've said literally now three times. I'm saying this because I want you to know that we're talking about words. It's very literal. People hear your words. So here's the words you will use in a very literal way. You will say, Let's say I'm teaching to a group of pharmacists and physicians. I might say physicians out there Could you tell me what you do during your rounds? Boom. I'm gonna get physicians. They're gonna talk and look good in front of their peers. And those words that I shared are going to make them look credible, which then makes me look credible. Last thing I want to teach you last settle words you can use to show confidence very powerful there on the screen. Right now, they're also on page nine. You can go ahead and take a look at those these air called direction ALS directional zehr, incredibly credible and confident. Now, before I start reading these, I want you to come back to me for a second. Most people, when they see the screen that I'm about to put back up on the screen, we'll look at me and say, Jason, I can't use these directions because I'm gonna feel like to commanding And I just think it's just gonna be too abrupt or abrasive to my audience. Here's the thing. In a second, I'm gonna teach you in a couple minutes how to use your tone of voice to not make it feel abrasive. So don't worry about whether it's abrasive or not. I will teach you completely hot handle that we get to part two of this program. But for right now, just look at the words and I want you to look at the middle column. We're gonna show you on the screen. Now look at the middle column. Avoid saying this and instead say this because the middle column is what doesn't look credible, doesn't look confident in the right column. The instead say, that's what sounds confident. Look at this. I would go ahead and turn to Page five in your hand out. Instead, you can say turn to page five in your hand out, so I want to read the second paragraph on page three instead. Say, I want you to read the second paragraph on page three instead, Say, read the second paragraph on page three. Or, if you take a look at your screen instead, say, Look at your screen. If you wouldn't mind, look up here so I can show you would simply say, Look up here and we're going to open up that window instead. Say, open up that window. I'd like you to think about something. Think about that. I want you to take to talk and discuss that with your neighbor. Discuss that with your neighbor. Well, now you can make a note that this will happen next week. You know that this will happen next week. All right, a couple of things. I like those tooth and I want you to highlight, and you just simply say, Highlight those two things. What's the difference between the middle column? Did you notice it? And the common The right. The middle column is not very credible. It's not very assertive. There's a difference between aggressive and assertive, by the way. Sort of good address is bad passes bad, but start is good actually. If you want to write this down and be great place to write, it's on page nine. Right down passes. Bad and assertive is bat aggressors. Bad passes, bad aggress was bad. Both ditches you can fall into. Assertive is good, though the column on the right is assertive. Why would we want to do this? Because people find others credible who can give direction and people follow. And if you're a presenter public speaker, you better believe you're gonna have to give direction. You're gonna have to look back on the screen here, get people to look at something. Read something. Look at their screen. Look at a page, do something on their own. Think about something. Discuss something right something down. Or highlight something. This is so important that I have an activity for you, and here it is on the screen. Right now it's on page nine. You can look at it their and please write something in addition on Page nine to what's on the screen, because the screen only gives you part of the activity, it says. Read the following directions out loud to either a partner or just yourself and record it and notice the confident manager with manner in which they inspire an audience to interact . What I want you to then do is practice all the direction ALS that you saw on the screen earlier. Go back and rewind the video, practice them all. And then, most importantly, add this on the bottom of page nine. I want you to then add at least three of these directions to your next presentation. I'm gonna go ahead and give you three minutes right now to practice all those direction ALS on the previous part of the video, you can rewind and listen and or add this year. Next presentation. Three minutes. Got. 4. Be Prepared for Slip Ups: Hey, we're back. And here's the thing. You've been doing a lot of stuff on language right now. I want to just give you something that's gonna really calm your nerves a little bit. And some of you don't have nerves. I'm fine with that too. But it's really gonna make you look better up here even if you're not nervous. And here is what it iss You're going to make mistakes up here you want. You want to try to eliminate him as much as you can, But you're going to say some of these words that we've been talking about and you're gonna stretch some stuff up. It's OK. What you need to do on page 10 is be prepared for your slip ups and there's actually three ways to prepare. Check it out. The first thing you can do what you don't want to do, by the way, I'll put this on on the screen cause it's so bad, just suggested you apologize rather than say you're sorry if you must speak. If you lose your place, don't blurt out something like I forgot what I was going to say where I lost my train of thought circle those, by the way, they're that important. I can't tell you how many times I hear people up on stage happens way more times than you think. Say, I forgot what is going to say And they think actually that that's humble, Remember, there's a difference. We humble an uncredible. So what you want to do instead is come up with something you can do. There's three things you can dio instead of this that you can prepare in advance for when you slip up. Here they are. Number one. Highlight these with me. As we go through these, number one. Ask your we're gonna put these on the screen. Ask your audience what questions they might have. That's number one number to give the audience a directional and number three moved to another topic. Here's what this looks like. I'm gonna start with questions. Let's say that I screwed up. I can't remember what I'm going to say. Made a slip up instead of saying, You know what? This is awkward. I forgot what I was gonna say. Instead, you just stop right there and say, What questions do you have? And then you wait seven seconds. You'll learn about this in the Boomerang Q and A plan. How to await the seven seconds It's part of the PS lab, but for right now, just trust me. Write this down. Wait seven seconds. The beauty of this is they need time to think about their questions and, you know, get your seven seconds to recalibrate your brain and remember what you were going to say. Here's another one that you can do. Page 10. Give the audience a direction you just learned about 12 directional is you can use to show confidence while all you have to do is give him a directional. Now here's what it might look like instead of saying something like, Oh, I lost my train of thought. You just say, Take a look up on my screen or you might even say like something like this. I'll just grab a marker here and show what this would look like. Take a look at the board, and I have no idea what I want, right cause I lost my train of thought, but you can say Take a look at the board I want you to write down, and then I can use what's called the agree and see if you're right, which I'll teach you a little bit later in this program. But here's what it might look like. I might just write down, take 30 seconds right now and write down your answer to this question or write down what you think about what I just said. Whatever it is, it doesn't matter. You're buying yourself time. You're buying yourself time. Powerful, powerful thing. And the third thing you can do it says it on page 10 is just move to another topic instead of saying, Oh, you know what? I lost my train of thought. You could simply say, I'm gonna move on and then you move on, see the difference? 5. Speak with a Confident Voice: way. Go take a look. It's time now to speak with a confident voice. We've now talked about how to use your language, all the confident language you can use now. That's not all the language you can uses a ton more language you can use. I mentioned the eloquence program in the P s lab will give you a lot more of that language , especially fillers and all the things you can do to really speak in an eloquent way. But this is the second topic you see up on the screen right now is to speak with a confident voice. And once you've got the confident language, how you can use your voice, your tone, your volume, your pace, your inflections, those are the four, By the way, you should write him down with me on page 10. Tone, volume, pace and inflections. Those are the four things you can change to speak more confidently in that program. Eloquence. I teach you how to use your tone volume pacing inflections in dozens of ways, dozens of things you get to speak in an elegant way. But today I'm going to focus on something different from that program. I'm going to show you how to use your tone volume, pacing inflections to speak confidently to speak credibly. And the first thing I want you to do because I want you to look on page 10 and halfway down . It says when I coach presenters, I always ask them if they're feeling ready to present with confidence. Gonna put this on the screen so you can see this. If they say yes, I asked them how they can tell. Well, I know what I'm going to say. They respond Well, good. I answer that you've taken the first step and they look purple extent, they say, What else is there? And I said, Well, how 100 Underline this with me and bottom attend. How you say it is more important than what you say to present with confidence, you must have a confident voice. Well, there's three things to have a competent voice. You can look at page 11. I'm gonna write them down up here. If you want to have a confident voice, you need to do three things, and the 1st 1 is a confident volume. Second thing is a confident pace, and the third thing is a confident pause. So here's what I'm gonna do. You look up here volume, pace and pause. I'm gonna write these, cause I want you to watch as I do this how I use my voice and this at the same time to show this confidence, we're gonna start with volume. I'm gonna actually do two things with my volume right now. And I want you to tell me which ones more confident. You ready? So you really need to show a confident volume and a confident pace and a confident pause because that's what's gonna make it really exciting and really come alive and show a lot of confidence. You hear that? What did I do with my violin? I brought it up. It's probably difficult for Craig here. That's recording me, right? Not even listen to that mean even for you too. Now, watch this. I'm gonna do a second way. If you change your volume, your pace and you're and you use pauses throughout well, then you can show even more confidence. What did I do there? I lowered my volume. And did it sound more confident or less more? Isn't that interesting? Check this out. I'm doing it right now. When you lower your volume, your confidence goes up, huh? What? Most people doing meetings when something really important they want to make a point where they dio they speak louder. It doesn't work as well as if you speak softer. And did you notice throughout this? What did I do with my pace? What did I dio? I slowed it down. I'm going to suggest Watch this. I'm gonna write this with you Now I want you to write this with me on page 11 says on page 11 2nd paragraph. The ideal pace for a confident person is 150 to 180 words per minute. 1 50 to 180 words a minute. Most people, when they give presentations speaking This is crazy. I couldn't believe this when I did the research. After the 10 years of doing this, I would count the number of words per minute and look at it. And it turns out it's around 120 sometimes even 100. But sometimes around 100 20 is typically the minimum all the way up to 2 20 It's about 100 words in the middle there, but those of that low in high end of pace. If you speak up to 20 you're speaking like this. You really fast, almost like a Tony Robbins kind of pace. Which, by the way, is really cool engaging when you want to really excite people. But if you want to make something sound confident, you want to slow down a little bit, You hear that? And that is where we get the 1 50 to 1 80 If you get yourself in there, you're going to sound more confident in a moment we're gonna do an activity where I'm gonna have you record yourself and then count up the words If you really want to be a great speaker, you can't sit here and say, Well, I don't want to record myself and kind of all the words, Well, I don't want to do that activity. I'm gonna keep going fast forward to the next one. That's not gonna get you great. The greats have to go do it. The five stages of learning. What's Jason talking about? I could see what he's doing, and I could do it with help I could do about myself and I can teach others if you want to get the stages 345 Do with help do about myself. Teach others Well, then you better start taking care of business in the U activities. But here's the 3rd 1 Check this out. It's on page 11 3rd paragraph. It's the pause. I just did it with you. Here it. I did it again. All you do is you pause for 123 seconds instead of talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, which sounds insecure and really, really kind of scared. But instead you lower your volume, you decrease the pace a little bit and you pause. Boom confidence has shown just like that. This is powerful. Most people don't know this. I learned this after years and years of training and training trainers and then training presenters and the coaching presenters and coaching CEOs in public speakers of people in business, people with fear and people were leaders and all those other people in between. And what I found is that the ones you could make up you could hear a pin drop in the audience because it was they were so mesmerized by the speaker. This is what they dio did. You really just did. I'm gonna do it against you can hear it again. What I found possible eyes is that the ones were so mesmerized. So in my volume down slow my pace down with the speaker even longer. This is what they do. See that That's what you do that you're confident voice. I want to say one other thing here Page 11 would put this on the screen That's so powerful you can highlight with me. It is absolutely okay. Third paragraph from the bottom for you to stand in front of your audience briefly without saying anything at all. Oddly, when presented or ask how they feel about using pauses, they say thing. They think pausing makes him look stupid. But when you survey audience members about their reactions to pausing, they say people who pause from time to time seem more intelligent. And it turns out that when the audience is being silent and you're pausing the bottom of page 11 a client actually told me it actually felt natural. Let me teach you two more things about your tone of voice. Besides the volume, pace and pause to more things that you can do to sound more confident. Here's the 1st 1 It's on page 12 it says. Work on developing a low and resident tone. I always say this, and it's always true. Darth Vader and Move fossa. Understand this. They're both played by a man named James Earl Jones to movies Star Wars in The Lion King, where these two voices come out. The moves fossil voice and the Darth Vader voice and people just listen is so constant. And by the way, this is true for both men and women. And I'm gonna give an example for both. You want Write this down on page 12. Highlight. It's the first sentence. The voice that conveys confidence is low and resident. Here's some examples for men. We talked about James Earl Jones. There's also for women. The young Kathleen Turner, Sigourney Weaver. Jane Fonda will put all these on the screen, free to see him. There's the late Walter Cronkite. There's Diane Sawyer, There's Katie Couric and look at Katie Couric. She actually didn't have this originally, and she had to work on it. You can actually learn to speak in a confident way you're not born with this. I always say this. I say this at the beginning Video that rule the room. Public speaking dot com The first video where I'm on my couch talking to you. I say you're not born a great public speaker. That's learned. Here's a perfect example of that. If you want to show confidence what you want to do And here's how you practice this. Move my stuff so you can see this. You actually wanna have it set up so that this is your diaphragm right here. My belly is essentially my diaphragm and I'm gonna turn sideways. You could see this when I breathe in, I'm gonna really accentuate this You you get the feeling what I'm doing when I breathe in what happens to my diaphragm when I breathe in, Does it go out or in It goes out right cause I fill up with air Then when I breathe out, it deflates what I want to do Watch This is I want to breathe in and I want to speak as I'm breathing out as I'm breathing out my words air floating off the air that's coming out of my diaphragm the best singers in the world do this. And the reason this is cool is because it allows you to do what James Earl Jones and move fossa and Katie Couric and Diane Sawyer and all the greats do. You are using your true natural voice. You could even hear me do it right now, as I still have air, I'm almost running out. Once that run out of air, I end up talking up here in my throat like this, and it doesn't sound confident, incredible at all. It sounds like I have a helium and he a balloon of healing, and I take it in and I stopped you. But if I talk while my voices exhaling, it's much more powerful. Do you see that? This is what you can do? If you really want to practice, this will do an activity in a moment. What you're gonna do is lay on the floor, and when you lay on the floor, it will force you speech coaches, voice coaches, singing voice coaches do this all the time. They'll have people lay on the floor, and it will force you to use your diaphragm. When you do, just start recording yourself on a smartphone and listen to your voice. That's your confident voice. That's your natural voice. That's what you need to do up here. I'll say this again. The greatest speakers in the world have all these little things that they do that all add up to brilliance. I said at the beginning of this talk, I'd show you how to give an amazing presentation. If you want to give an amazing presentation, you have to incorporate at least the majority, if not all of these things. Last thing I want to teach you is on the screen right now is to eliminate up speak, and I would actually put a paragraph up there for you. It's from specifically the Valley Girls speech pattern, a reference to Frank Zappa's 1982 single Valley Girl. In the background of the song, you can hear Zappa's then 14 year old daughter speaking Valley speak. This is This is actually a type of speech that originated back in the early eighties, and it includes slang and surfer terms, lots of fillers like like and all those kinds of most signally, a distinctive pattern of inflection called up speak. Here's what it sounds like I'm actually gonna put another thing up on the screen. And I'm going to read this to you. I'm gonna read the 1st 1 with statements and then read the 2nd 1 with questions. You tell me which one sounds more common. Here's the first on with statements ready. This is the last paragraph on page 12. By the way, Here it is. I'm coming home tomorrow. I plan to stay for the weekend. I want to see some friends during my stay. Now, here's the next one. I'm gonna put question marks at the end of all these, which is what up speak Sounds like It's only a question with your tone ready. I'm coming home tomorrow. I plan to stay for like, the weekend. I want to see some my friends during, like my stay here. The up speak. Which one sounded more credible? The 1st 1 What do you do? You bring your tone down on the last syllable of each sentence instead of up on the lessons or up. Even the middle of the last sentence It doesn't sound is credible 6. Activity: Speak with a Confident Voice: Here's your activity, by the way, it on page 32 of 31 13 at the top, it says. Unfortunately, Valley speakers made its way into mainstream speech. Even presenters in Ted talks. Even presenters in front of thousands of people will do this, and it doesn't engage all. It doesn't show lack of credibility. Here's what I want you to do. We're gonna give you five minutes for this. It's a big one. I want you to present for five minutes. Record your voice with a smartphone. Listen to the recording as many times as necessary to check that you're expressing yourself confidently. Here's the four questions I want you to answer. Is your tone lo and resident in your pitch low? I'm not saying you're after shoulder leg, I'm saying. Does it have residents to it? Does it sound like you're in a chamber? Is your volume comfortable for you? Inappropriate free audience? And are you wearing your volume when it's really important? Is your pace comfortable for you? And are you lowering your pace to show confidence? And are you using the power of the pause? Five minutes go 7. Take a Confident Stance: Hey, welcome back. It's the third part of this Siris on showing confidence and credibility in this one. If you look at the screen is to show confidence with body language and facial expressions, and we're now on page 14. If you haven't printed up your book, you should absolutely do that now because what I'm about to show you is going to help the overs and the unders. Which one is the overs again? They're the ones that are overconfident. They think they got it made because they don't have fear. They're not nervous, so they think they're fine. I'm gonna say this again. It's not. Whether you're nervous is whether you show it. It's not whether you're confident. It's whether you what show it. Well, here's the problem. I actually I'm gonna put my money where my mouth is and tell you that when I actually spent those 10 years watching presenters, there was one set of presenters that I watched for a huge conference. Huge conference. They were actually the presenters from the company. It was putting the conference on and there was like six or seven of these presenters and they all got there and they thought they absolutely crushed it. I got it. I got done with him and I said, Hey, how did the presentation go off? We had 4000 people show up here, and we all I knew my stuff. I felt good. I wasn't nervous. We're glad for that. Squawked and celebrate as well. But whoa, hold on. I got a lot of stuff to share with you guys and not a lot of it is what you think like What do you mean? I said, Well, there's a lot of stuff that your team did up there. I talked to the CEO about this that they don't even know they're doing that. Your audience. I'm gonna tell you, Don't take this the wrong way, But they're cringing. Why did you see him? I took some pictures up. I want to show you some pictures of the audience. When they When they did this, what did my team do? Because they were a bunch of people. There was a performer up there and an Energizer and they were totally confident. It doesn't matter if their confidence, not about them, it's about their audience. And I can tell you right now their audience. Didn't think they were confident they didn't show confidence. What do you mean? I said, Well, I'm gonna put him up on the screen right now. What? I told this CEO, Here's what I mean. It's the first paragraph on page 14. If you want to read it with me there, you can. But we're gonna put it up on the screen because it's so important. Here they are. They kept their faces down and eyes glued to the script. Number two. I'm just gonna give these to see having that, I'm gonna model mall number two. They walk backwards. He's listening. These number three they looked at only one side of the room. Number four. They were pacing. Remember I talked about that. That President Trump inauguration speech. He only looked at one side for quite a bit of time. Looking at all of them is going to be much. It's going to be much more credible. The next one somewhere hunched up, is if they were suddenly stripped naked. Seriously, this is what happened in number six. Even a few of them appeared to be in pain. I stopped. I put my paper down. I looked at him and he looked at me. Goes Jason, are you serious? I said, Yeah, it's true. This is what you're six of your best speakers, your best developers, your best marketing professionals, the best people that you have in your team. This is what they did on stage heels. Well, you could you tell me a little bit more about each one? Because I'm not sure I understand what you meant by a couple of those. So let me tell you what I meant. Here's the 1st 1 it says, keeping their faces down and eyes glued to the script. This one of them did. I'm just gonna kind of walk and show you there up on the stage was probably 100 feet long, huge. There was 4 5000 people in the audience and this guy, I mean, he's incredibly brilliant guy. I'll never forget this. He's he's about my height, maybe a little shorter, incredibly brilliant people in his company just think he's amazing and he's a developer, so you can think of like a Steve Jobs type, right? And he's walking around, and as he's upstages, he's talking and he's literally walking like this. He's not this the audiences here. He's not looking at the audience. He's looking down as he talked. Like I want to just tell you one thing we thought about when we were when we were putting this presentation together, and we're thinking about what we're going to share with you today. And he said his eyes were still down. Now why is he doing this? We'll tell you. One reason is is he's thinking. But I asked him why he was doing this, you know, he told me. He said, Jason actually watching the video now, and I can tell you what I was thinking when I was doing this is so he's telling me about this, how he's feeling it. Basically what he was saying is he's got this brilliant thing to share, and he thought they would look more humbled to hear the brilliant thing. If he's looking at the floor well, it didn't look more humble. It looked like he was scared to show it, and he didn't even know this. Here's the 2nd 1 walking backwards now, you might say, Well, why would anyone walk backwards? Here's what literally happened. Somebody asked a question in front of 4000 people and the presenter as he's listening, the question is doing this. I didn't even know it had no idea he's walking back or just takes two steps back. What is the audience? Feel again? The boomer and Q and A plan is gonna talk about how to not do this. But I can tell the audience didn't feel like the person was credible. Here's number three. I'm just reading from the Page 14. They were looking at one side of the room. This is what President Trump in his inauguration did. He spent a lot of his time looking at this side. There's a lot of things that President Trump did very, very well to show confidence in his inauguration speech. But one of the problems that he had with that credibility was he'd only look at one side and looking them over and over and over in the whole time. What you want to do when you're speaking in front of a large group is you want to divide the room up into nine sections left middle right front, middle back nine sections. You want to look at every section for around three seconds, and then you want to move to the next section, look for around three seconds and then after three seconds, move the next section. Look for three seconds. You wouldn't do this for a small group for a small group. You look at every person for about 1/2 a second and you move back and forth because it's small and you want everyone to see this meeting of 6 to 2020 people. But if you are 6 to 32 people, even But if you have more than 32 you want to look at it for three seconds to make the person like I'm doing with you right now with this video, feel like you care about them? Here's the next one. I'm going through all these cause they're big. This is the kind of stuff people do that they don't know the little things that I watch for 10 years, and I finally said, Look, I got to write a book about this. Here's number four pacing. They pace. This is what he was actually looking down in pacing while he was doing this. But other people were actually pacing back and forth like this as they talked and I don't know what they thought here. Does this make me look more credible to pace like this? I just don't think so. Now I know that we have dynamic presenters. I've been using my hands a lot, and I would consider myself when a bomb on stage very dynamic. Right now, it's just me in a video, so it's more intimate. But when I'm in front of 5000 people, you better believe it. If I'm gonna make a point like this instead of doing this, I'll go like that because I wanted to see that I'm going to do that kind of stuff. But pacing in front of 5000 people when I paste like this, all it does is make the audience feel like I'm nervous. I'm not credible, even though I don't even realize I'm doing it. Here's the next one. Number five Hunched up is if they were suddenly stripped naked. Now this was actually a person that was doing this in front of one of those. What I don't even use these anymore don't even know what they're called. Where the podium there you there in front of a podium, I will use a podium. By the way, if they require me to do it and everybody else doesn't they say I have to and I'm only up there for 30 seconds. I will have to, but almost always, almost always. I will say, Could you please move the podium off to the side? I don't want that podium, this guys up there at the podium and you could just see him hunched over like And then he was asked. They said they wanted move out in the middle because so he moves out into the middle and he still like this. And he literally looked like he was worried that he's standing in front of an audience naked. Now he's talking about brilliant stuff. I can't tell you how brilliant the presentation was. The language was brilliant and confident, but the body language all but destroyed it all in the last one. Number six. It's hard for me to share these because I wanted them to do well and they did well, this is before I consult of them. I just watched them first, and then I consulted later. Number six is they even appear to be in pain, some of them This is somebody that was up there and you could just tell it. And I want to talk about this, and it just it looked like their face was in pain. And when that happens, your credibility is shot. Now, here's the thing. Was he in pain? No. Was he fearful? Yeah. And there was a guy that was over confident that also looked in pain, too. And he wasn't fearfully just looked in pain. So why is this happening? And more importantly, what do we do about this? We're gonna go over this right now. That's what this section all about. And you're gonna get an activity to handle all of this in just a moment. But first, I want to teach you exactly what to do with your body language, all of your body and your facial expressions so that you show confidence and credibility and you don't show all this stuff, her stuff that we just talked about. First step, you're gonna need a strong, confident stance. And so I'm gonna talk about three things and put him up on the screen right now. Here's the three things you need to be balanced. You need to be composed. You need to be standing up straight and tall. Erect your shoulders back. What does this mean? Let's start with balance. There's actually two stances. I'm gonna show you these stances. Not much to show you my feet right now. In a moment. First dance is this Start with up here. When they go feed yet up here. I want my feet. Well, actually, let's go to feet Right now. My feet are gonna be shoulder with apart. They're a little bit pointed outward. You can see me on the carpet right now. Here. A little bit pointed outward like this. So they're in a V. You can see me up here. I'm gonna V. And why do I want to do this? Because everyone in my audience needs to be inside this V. This is one stance you don't have to do. This stance is not the only confident stance, but it's one. And why am I doing this? Because I want audience to feel inclusive. This is why I don't want to just look at one side of the room. I want to be inclusive. Every audience want to feel that included with Speaker. But also I want to stand still, and I want to straddle the line that is in the sweet spot. What's the line that's in the sweet spot? It means that there's the same number of people on this side of the line is there are in this side of the line. This is what looks confident. Look at what it says Next. If you look on the screen your composed, you stand with both arms at your sides. I'm suggesting that the most confident com stands on the planet is where you're standing still, with both of your arms to your sides. Now. So many don't misinterpret what I'm saying right now. So many people watch me and they say all. I can't believe that he's telling people they have to stand there like this the whole time . No, I'm saying, by default, you might say, What do you mean by default? Everyone has a default. Everyone has one. Some people's default is T. Rex tyrannis source. Rex needs some peoples in their pockets. Some people's is behind their backs, but everyone has a default. Some people's default is just constantly go like this all the time so that they're crying wolf and you could never know when they're being dynamic or not, because they never stop. But eventually even they will stop and they'll go like this by default. I'm saying you could be as dynamic as you want to. You can totally be dynamic. I'm all about dynamic speakers, but when you're done, put your hands back in their holster where they belong. That looks confident. And did you notice when I said that looks confident. I paused, and I brought my pace down. If you're struggling with this and you will, you will absolutely struck with his as I did when I first learned it. You take your index finger and your thumb both hands, and you use that as the pneumonic device to remind yourself that you need to do this so that you can remind yourself to keep your hands down when they're not using them. Then you can use them again, but then back down again. The second stance that you can do, which is just as confident, is the first is an alternative to the first, and it works really well for a number of situations, number of different kinds of shoes. I'll do it sometimes as well, but it also works really well. By the way, if you're wearing heels and I've talked to a lot of people, a lot of women have come up to me and said, Jason, I have to wear heels when I present I want to wear heels But that stance that you talked about, where you're standing with your feet, shoulder width apart, kind of in a V that doesn't work with heels. I completely agree. And I also agree that it doesn't work in certain situations, either. Here's one of my favorite stances. You could do with heels and or with regular shoes that aren't heels any time you want to, and this is what it looks like. I want one foot. If I'm right handed, my right foot is gonna be 45 degree angle with the theme, This direction right here. The other foot is pointed at my audience and the wait is on my back foot. So watch up here at the top. My weight is on my back foot. Now I have two choices. With this, I can put my hands at my sides by default, which a lot of people do. It's pretty cool stands pretty confident, or you can put your hands generally classed at your abdomen. Also very cool. A lot of people put their hands gently classic her abdomen. Here, up here doesn't really matter. But what you don't want to do is go like this because this implies nerves, implies fear or just implies, like just abrasive or whatever. Subconsciously your think thinking or feeling This is much more common collected. This is what it looks like. If you're left handed, he might put your right. Your left foot pointed 45 degrees in your right foot's gonna go ahead and be pointed toward the audience, and you're gonna put your hands at your abdomen or Jenning clasp at your abdomen or down at their sides. Either way, these are the two stances that show the most confidence, as opposed to the hunched over or the looking down or or the feeling like they're naked in front of everybody or all the other things. We talk their eyes looking, looking here. That's the stance 8. Master Confident Body Language: page 15. That's your stance, and we're gonna give you an activity that practices all this in just a second. But now we're gonna talk about how to stay silent while you're in motion. This is one of the coolest techniques for a large audience. Very, very cool. You can do this with small audience as well, but it works best with a large audience. What you want to do is when you're in motion. When you move, you stay silent. It's fantastic for a huge stage, and what I mean by that is you're going to stay in the sweet spot for the majority of the time. If you look at the best comedians, the best speakers of all time, they do stand still for a lot of the time right in the middle, so that everyone feels inclusive. But there are times when they move, and when they move, it's powerful. If I move my hands all the time and I always moving, then when I'm moving around with something important, you can tell it's important. It's always moving, but if I only move them around every once in a while, I didn't bring my hand up. It really has a big effect when you move when you actually move, When should you move? By the way, one of the ways I'm gonna move is if I need to move, walk, run right on the board. Another way I might move is to stand and look at a huge screen behind me and show it to people. One of the best things you can do to show confidence is to stay silent. Why you do that? Take a look at that. Did you see what I just did? I stayed silent. And when you are silent, what'll happen is some of the people who've been listening well, stop. They'll stop writing the look up and no wonder why you're stopping to talk and you've got their attention and then you just stop Another. One of my favorites is if I need to walk across, staged to show something to an audience number over here or talk about something over there , I'll go like this. I'll be talking. I'll be talking. I'll be talking and then all of a sudden I just go and that's gonna make you sound more confident. Do you see that? It's powerful. You don't want to do this for a long time, maybe 1 to 2 seconds, but it's a powerful thing. It incorporates and uses and harnesses that pause, but it does it in a way that really can knock the socks off your audience. Here's another thing you can do to show confidence with your body. Language is on page 15. Keep your mouth closed when you're not talking. I see so many presenters that that break this rule. What they'll do is they'll talk and talk and talk. And then when they're done talking, they'll show with screen, for example, on the go like this. Where the lookout, their audience in the say What questions do you have that doesn't look very confident? Incredible. What you want to do when you're finished talking or saying a statement you're gonna pause for a second is go. What questions do you have? See that? Take a look at my screen. See the difference? All these little things. Next one is on Page 15 at the bottom. Never walk backwards. Write this down next to Page on page 15 at the bottom, next to never walk backwards right down the boomerang Q and a plan. It's a fantastic program about questions. If you really want to know how toe ask, answer questions, questions that you know the answer to, or don't know the answer to questions there in scope or not in scope questions you want to answer now or you want to answer later questions that you just want to know. What do I do if I don't know the answer? What do I do if I do with my body language and tone? That's the thing. But I want to say this. The number one time when people walk backwards in a presentation is when they're getting asked a question they don't know the answer to. In fact, I've done some research, and I found that the top two things people do when they don't know an answer to a question is one they'll walk backwards or to take a step back, which is a subtle impression to your audience. Even if you didn't don't feel this way that subconsciously you don't know the number two, they look up, look to the left. If they're trying to recall something, they look to the right. If they're trying to make something up and people don't even know they do this. I have given this presentation of this topic to hundreds of people, and I'd say about half of them will say Oh, totally got it. I would never do that and then I go watch when they do it, I didn't even know they're doing it, so you have to record yourself That sort of have you do in the next six section. And that's why that lab programme on the Q and A for boomerang is so important. But on Page 16 is the last thing, and it might even be the most important. And it's called mastering eye contact. And this one is so powerful because your eyes write this down on page 16. Are the Onley universal form of communication on the planet? I've probably you might have heard me if you've heard another program share this story, but it would behoove you to listen this again. It's very powerful. Daniel Pink in his book, A Whole New Mind covers the reliability and the validity for this statement. But the fact that your eyes of the University of universal form of communication on the planet and the way they figured this out in this book, as they actually showed pictures of people toe all these different cultures and countries all around the world, and nobody disagreed. When they saw pictures, somebody excited that the person was excited, even if they've never even met another person around the world before. If they were in this small, tiny village, never met anybody ever before. They all agree, well, that person's excited or if the person was surprised that person surprised. That person is happy, that person said. But they didn't agree on what this meant. You know, if I if I if I take my hand like this and extend it well in many, many cultures, this means, Hey, I'm being friendly to you. This is a warm gesture. I'd like to shake your hand, but in other cultures it's It's rude to do this. It's not interpreted the same or another. One would be doing this if some cultures would interpret. This is I disagree with you other cultures would interpret. This is I'm intently listening to you, but nobody misinterpreted the eyes, so I contact is incredibly important. You see what I just did? I looked laughed. Where did that make you feel. I want you to get to that point where you can analyze that. What do you do with your eyes? I'm gonna suggest a couple of things to look confident. 1st 1 is this. It's on page 16 in the first paragraph will put it up on the screen. It's called the White Belt mentality, and the white belt mentality basically means if you know anything about martial arts and or karate or taekwondo things like that. You know there's different colored belts in certain certain societies is different colored belts for how good you get. And it turns out that the white belt is the beginner. All the way up to the black belt is the expert. But the greatest black belts of all time, in my opinion, in any industry like public speaking, are willing to always go back down, toe white belt and learn from people. I call it the white belt mentality. So if you really want to be a great public speaker, use the white belt mentality right now and look on Page 16 it says. Third, actually fourth paragraph down, there's says, I told him, This is an attorney that I watched one of my clients. By the way, he was an amazing speaker. He could have the jury and all the people in the room just mesmerized by him. But every once in a while he look out the window like this and he start to talk. You know, the same is that executive that was looking down when he was talking. He look out the window and start to talk. I would get done with his presentation I'm talking about. Did you know you were looking out the window? He goes, Yeah. I mean, every once a while, I like to look out the window. I said, Well, did you know what your audience did when you did that? He said, Well, what? Because? Well, they're all they're all looking at me, right? Because no, they all looked out the window. Well, why did they look out the window? Because that's where you looked. Where you look is where your audience will look. You want to look at the screen, look at the screen. If you want to get the board, you need to look at the board. If you want to look at the workbook, look at the workbook. But if you want him to think about what you're saying, we'll look at them. Look what it says. There's four things, says presenters are most likely to look away toward the floor to ceiling for four reasons. Highlight. There's with me. Page 16 4th paragraph one. When they've been asked a question they can't answer, they look up or look to one side or look down Number two. When they get asked a question, they can't recall something or they just can't recall something in general. They were supposed to say, though, look up, Try to remember what that WAAS number three. They don't know something don't know an answer. They'll look up on number four. They need time to figure out what to say Next. I forgot what I'm gonna say. Something look down, and that's what the executive actually admitted to me is he would look down every once a while when he's trying to remember what to say next. Well, that's great for him. It makes him feel better, but it doesn't help your audience. Remember, it's not about you about your audience. So what do you do? Instead? Here's what you do. Instead, on page 16. I want you to highlight this with me right now. I'm gonna put up on the screen. I'm gonna read this. The audience may not know what your problem is when you do this, but as soon as you look away, they subconsciously underlined that no, something is not right. Whether you're having a 1 to 1 communication or looking at an audience for a podium or you're at the sweet spot. Failing to make eye contact can signal a lack of confidence. Here's what you do. Instead, if there is a small room of 32 or less people, you look at everyone in that room for 1/2 a second every minute. That's what you do to show confidence. You look at everyone in the room for 1/2 a second each minute. I'm doing this right now. I'm not saying if the like. I'm saying you look everyone in the room for 1/2 a second, then you move to the next person. You look at them and you keep going this well, great speakers do if you have a group of 32 or more, particularly 100 or more, maybe even 1000 or more like Trump did in that inauguration speech. Google that block to see it, you will want to do the following nine sections Front, middle back, left, middle, right. And you look at every section for three seconds and then you move on to the next section for three seconds, and then you move on to the next. When you do that, you show confidence. We've talked about a lot of stuff. It's time for your next activity. Last one, actually. And here it is. I want you to show confidence with your body language and facial expressions by presenting for five minutes to a partner or record yourself and check each of the following Ready Major stands confident. Are you silent when you're in motion? Do you keep your mouth closed when you're not speaking? This, by the way, is all on page 17. Do you ever move backward? Do you maintain eye contact and then write down in your own words, what negative or inappropriate body language and facial expressions you need to be more aware of in future presentations? By the way, I'm gonna come back when you're done with this five minutes and I'm going to share with you some things that will be helpful for you. If you want to show more confidence and credibility, see, in five minutes we're back. If you look at the screen, you've just learned, see the three bullets. But you've just learned three dozen things that you can use to show more confidence in credibility and get your audience to trust you with your presentation. But this is not the end. You need to now go in practice, all the activities we did, and I highly encourage you to go through the rest of the public speaking lab and look at other programs. Specifically, I want to share with you one that's really powerful it for certain that unders remember the unders and overs the unders of the people that are under confident actually, of this fear of public speaking. And one of my favorite things for both the unders and the over is the order order the overs the orders. The overs are the ones that actually have overconfidence. They air fine. They just don't think they need to learn any of this stuff because they're finding both of them could fall off the Dedge. There's another program that was designed for both of you, and it's called Stop looking nervous. And here's the thing. It's not whether you're nervous as to whether you should watch this program, because you could still look nervous. There's a difference, by the way, between showing confidence in showing credibility and looking fearful and nervous. If you have fear, if you have nerves, you absolutely need to go and check out that program. But if you don't, if you're over confident, you still need to watch this because there's a probably were to tell, but all the nervous habits people have and there's probably a ton of things you're doing that you don't even know you're doing. That's making you look nervous. We'll see in that program. Otherwise, thank you for all of the attention and the activity and work you're putting in to make yourself more confident, credible. Go rule the room