Quick Backstory: I’m writing an OCxCC (Thranduil from the Hobbit movies) fic. This is the most serious I’ve ever taken a fanfiction of mine (of course it’s for a mostly dead fandom, right?) and I keep making myself nervous. I liked what you had to offer in your class, and wanted to write a journal entry for Thranduil, and how he might be feeling towards the beginning of my story after some encounters with my OC. The story is mostly from my OC's perspective, so I think this helped me a lot! I’m writing him post-Hobbit movies, so he’s developed some from his typical cold demeanor, and is trying to be a better leader. Enjoy, and thank you for a great class!

 

Journal Entry no. 345-

 

It has been a long while since my last entry, at least two moons. I thought returning after so much time would make the task seem more sensible, but I only feel more foolish. But perhaps that’s because I actually have more to say that I cannot disclose to anyone else. I wish I could move on without this outlet, but it seems I need it. 

 

A new she-elf has arrived in Mirkwood. I suppose a host of new elves have found their way into my domain recently, but this one was uninvited, and is not a suitor. She was caught trespassing, and threatened one of my scouts. 

 

It’s been a long while since I’ve let Legolas go, but I am still working hard to be a better example. I realized after the Battle of Five Armies that I’ve been living my life in the shadow of my grief since my wife’s passing. It still hurts to just write of her, despite how much time has passed. She remains at the forefront of my memory, but I only recently began to feel that she would not approve of my harsh demeanor. Perhaps that is why she just now decided to reincarnate, and into a new, unknowing body, no less. 

 

But my thoughts have strayed... This uninvited she-elf--she was not welcome here, yet I offered her mercy. I feared she may be a spy, so I could not let her go. However, imprisoning her for eternity seemed far too harsh, even for me, so I recruited her into my army. Rather, I told her she was to aid my forces, and she protested greatly. 

 

I may have slipped into old habits by letting her frustrate me. I have enough on my mind with the lineup of suitors and prospect of refinding my true love, so perhaps a slip up was excusable. Ealhid, as she is called, stood up to me in the training hall. I found that she had been refusing to train, and so I told her that if she thought herself more skilled than my people, that she would have no issue fighting the head of my guard. Her, being the arrogant half-breed we have all already come to know her as, said she’d rather spar with me. I made the mistake of agreeing. 

 

I won, of course, and humiliated her in front of everyone. She deserved to have her ego deflated, if I may be so bold, but I still feel some guilt. Afterwards, she ran back to her room and has refused to accept any reasoning from Tauriel. It is fair to note that Tauriel said this would happen, but in the moment, I was too blinded by my anger to listen. Perhaps it is I who refuses to be reasoned with? I loathe that Tauriel is so often correct, and yet I refuse to listen.

 

Perhaps ‘Ealhid’ and I are more alike than I would care to admit. She is a lowly half-elf, anyways, with no notable affiliations. It is obvious she was raised by man, and has lived on her own for many years since their passing. Yet despite our clear differences in background, I still find myself intrigued by her, likely due to the aforementioned similarities. She has the ambition I have long since lost, and carries it with an extreme emotional array--always leaning too far into one feeling and lacking true balance. I’m afraid I still might struggle with that, as well. 

 

Here I am, writing so much of a new prisoner I’ve caught. Though, the word prisoner doesn’t quite sit well with me, as I’m sure it doesn’t with her… But I refuse to give up on her yet. Perhaps she will be the challenge that helps me overcome my own shortcomings, and make me a better husband to my new… bride. 

 

I should focus my mental efforts on the fair suitors that roam my halls, trying to get a taste of who I might be. But every time I try to get close to one of them, I feel a recoil somewhere in me. I know I’m putting off remarrying, even if I know my late wife is somewhere among the suitors. I know focusing on this one problem is, in fact, me distracting myself from the bigger problems at hand…

 

Then again, I do feel the need to rectify with Ealhid, in the least. I have been treating her like a prisoner, when I do not wish her to be. I wish her to become a functional citizen of Mirkwood, for I see some potential in her human-like determination and elven prowess. If she is not a spy, she deserves better treatment, and to feel welcomed by her new ruler. 

 

Alas, I will visit her tonight. I have a feeling she will try to escape her room, but I suppose I will let that go, just this once. I’m growing soft. After that, I will focus all of my efforts on my upcoming marriage. I will give do to the high elf maidens who have traveled so far in hopes of being my wife reincarnate. 

 

A bid thee, my journal, goodnight.