Never Be Lied to Again: How to Get the Truth in Any Conversation or Situation in 5 Minutes or Less | David L. | Skillshare

Never Be Lied to Again: How to Get the Truth in Any Conversation or Situation in 5 Minutes or Less

David L., World-Renowned Lie-Detection Expert

Never Be Lied to Again: How to Get the Truth in Any Conversation or Situation in 5 Minutes or Less

David L., World-Renowned Lie-Detection Expert

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11 Lessons (50m)
    • 1. Never Be Lied to Again: Welcome

    • 2. Stealth Lie-Detection: Tactic 1: What is He Really Thinking?

    • 3. Stealth Lie-Detection: Tactic 2: The Ultimate Alibi Buster

    • 4. Stealth Lie-Detection: Tactic 3: The Integrity Testers: Uncover a Person’s TRUE Intentions

    • 5. Sign 1: Delay Tactics and Qualifiers - Sign 2: Deflects and Depersonalizes

    • 6. Sign 3: Impression Management: Playing it Too Cool

    • 7. Sign 4: After the Conversation

    • 8. Interrogation Sequence 1: Time Line Distortion

    • 9. Interrogation Sequence 2: Unforced Explanations

    • 10. Interrogation Sequence 3: Building the Narrative

    • 11. Silver Bullet: Employ Ego Defenses, Up the Ante and Close the Deal

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About This Class

In this course, you’ll learn exactly, step by step what to say to get the truth in any conversation or situation—be it personal or professional, and you’ll never have to wonder again if you’re being lied to, cheated on or taken advantage of.

Dr. David Lieberman conducts training in tactics of lie-detection and interview/interrogation for elite FBI profilers, the NSA, and the United States military. In fact, he created the program that’s mandatory for all Psychological Operations (or PSYOP) graduates in the United States Air Force—and he’s going to teach you, what he teaches to them.    


Meet Your Teacher

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David L.

World-Renowned Lie-Detection Expert


David J. Lieberman, Ph.D., is an award-winning author and internationally recognized leader in the fields of human behavior and interpersonal relationships.


* Authored twelve published books, including two New York Times Bestsellers, which have been translated into 27 languages and sold more than 4,000,000 copies, worldwide. 

* Conducts training for elite FBI profilers, NSA, the United States military, and for police departments and private security firms on six continents; created program that is mandatory for all Psychological Operations (PSYOP) graduates. 

* Developed techniques in mediation, negotiation, interview, and interrogation, which are currently in use by governments, corpo... See full profile

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1. Never Be Lied to Again: Welcome: Hi. My name is Dr David Lieberman and I conduct training and tactics of lie detection and interview and interrogation for elite FBI profilers, the NSA and United States military. In fact, I created the program. It's mandatory for all psychological operations for SIA graduates in the United States Air Force. And I'm gonna teach you what I teach them. In this course, you will learn exactly step by step. What to say to get the truth in any conversation situation. Be a personal professional and you'll never have to wonder again if you are being lied to, cheated on were taken advantage of. Do you really need that new muffler? Is your gardener a threat to your Children? Did you employees stealing from the company? Even the little stuff like Is the waiter really serving your decaf or you're gonna be up till 3 a.m. You'll never have to worry about these things again. This course is designed for those who want to go well beyond reading body language. Sure, the person whose arms unfolded maybe defensive, but the truth is, he may also be called and yes, no, A little direct eye contact is a classic sign of deception. But the bad guys already know this. So unless you're subject is a five year old who got his hand caught in the cookie jar, you're going to need some more sophisticated tactics. In part one stuff lie detection. You'll learn how to get the information that you need without the person ever knowing that you may be onto him. These techniques are great for casual conversations when you think somebody might be lying to you. But a full fledged interrogation is out of the question, in part to signs of deception. We'll cover four dead giveaways. That person is lying to you and a part three. Time to confess. I'll show you the most advanced psychological interviewing techniques to get the truth and to get a confession based on my New York Times bestselling books. I designed this course for law enforcement security professionals, but also for the good natured person was just tired of being taken advantage of, lied to and manipulated by the world around them. Enroll now, too, gain mastery of your ability to read people and to detect the seat and you'll know who is out for you and who may be out to get you 2. Stealth Lie-Detection: Tactic 1: What is He Really Thinking?: part one stealth lie detection tactics for detecting to seat and gathering information. Tactic one. What is he really thinking? Most of us are familiar with the raw shock test that consists of 10 symmetrical in plots, each on an individual card. These abstract shapes, which have no meaning, are shown to the person one of the time, and the power behind the test is at a person's interpretation of the shapes will reveal his or her subconscious thoughts. Here we use the same psychological principle but employed an entirely new way. You ask the subject certain questions or make statements that don't accuse the person of anything but eludes the possible behavior. If he doesn't realize you implying anything, that he's probably not guilty. But if he gets defensive, then he knows that what you're getting at. And he also knows that you may be onto him. There are three ways to employ this tactic. Strategy. A similar scenario. Introduce a scenario similar to what you suspect is going on. For example, your suspicion is you suspect that one of your cells, people, has lied to a customer in order to make a cell. The question Jim, I'm wondering if you could help me with something, it's come to my attention that someone in the sales department has been misrepresenting our products to customers. How do you think we can best clean this up if he's innocent of the charges, who likely offer his advice and be pleased that you saw out his opinion? If he's guilty, he'll seem very uncomfortable and will assure you that he would never do anything like that . Let's take another example where hospital administrator thinks that one of his doctors may be drinking on duty. Dr. Marcus, I'd like to get your advice on something. Ah, colleague of mine. That another hospital has a problem with one of her doctors. She feels that he may be drinking on call. You have any suggestions on how she confessed, Approaches stocked about this problem again? If he's guilty, he'll seem very uncomfortable. And if he's not drinking on duty, then he'll be pleased that his advice was sought out and offer it freely. Strategy be the paranoids conundrum. You could also bring up the topic in a general way. The suspicion is you think a student has cheated on her exam question. Isn't it amazing? that someone can cheat on a test and not realize that I was standing behind her the entire time. Suspicion? You suspect a coworker of badmouthing you, do you, boss question? Isn't it amazing of all the backstabbing that goes on around here? And these people don't think it'll get back to the person that was involved. Strategy? See, Don't accuse allude. The key here is to phrase a question that sounds perfectly innocent to an innocent person. But like an accusation to the guilty. For example, if you ask your neighbor with space aliens had landed on her front lawn, you wouldn't expect her to respond seriously at all. She may answer jokingly or just laugh it off entirely, and you certainly wouldn't expect. Why do you ask? Did someone say something to you? This response is quite curious for question that should be taken is absurd. So your suspicion is you think that you employ uses a company car for road trips. Question. You lease your car, right? Do you try to stay within the miles or you don't mind going over suspicion? You think your secretary may have shared private information about you with a coworker question heard any good gossip recently. Again, Any answer? Such as? Did someone say something to you or why are you asking me about this? Indicate concern on the person's part. Now, this doesn't mean that he definitively is guilty. But it is a red flag. So you'd want to go ahead, employ the tactics in part to to confirm your suspicion. 3. Stealth Lie-Detection: Tactic 2: The Ultimate Alibi Buster: part one stealth lie detection tactics for detecting to seat and gathering information tactic to the ultimate alibi. Buster. Have you ever wanted to hook someone up to a lie detector tests to see if he was lying to you? Well, with this tactic, you can instantly find out if his story checks out or if his alibi is nothing but a pack of lies and all by asking a few simple questions. Let's say a woman suspected that her boyfriend was not at the local movies with his brother . Like he said, he WAAS but actually went out to the city with a group of friends simply by asking him, if he didn't do you go to the movies would only promptly. Yes, this is, of course, because if he was there, he would say yes. And if he wasn't, he would also likely stick to a story. By using this technique, she simply asks two questions to confirm the facts and then introduces a made up fact. For instance, she would say, What movie did you see? And then, perhaps, or what time did it let out? And then she introduces her own quote unquote fact and would say something such as, Oh, I heard the traffic was backed up for an hour because of a water main break at that hour. Now all she has to do is sit back and wait for his response. This is because her boyfriend is faced with a conundrum. If he wasn't at the movies, he doesn't know whether to acknowledge that there was a water main break because there might have been one or they might not have been one. And if he says that there wasn't and there Waas, then she'll know that he really wasn't there. But regardless of his answer, he will do the one thing that every single person, when confronted with this technique will do. And that is hesitate deciding how to answer. Remember, Had he been at the theater, he would instantly have said there was no water. Main break. What are you talking about? But the liar isn't sure because he wasn't there and so is going to hesitate in his answer. But in doing so, give himself away. On top of that, he'll likely answer wrongly by bring to what you said, because he doesn't know that you're making it up. Let's review A. You start by asking to confirming questions and then introduce your own detail again. It has to be something that's not true. If you merely confirmed something that's actually true, you haven't learned anything new. Second, it must sound reasonable. Otherwise, the person you're questioning might think that it's just the joke you want him to answer seriously. And finally, your assertion has to be something that would directly affect this person. So he would have firsthand knowledge of this information. If he hesitates, changes the subjects or gives a wrong answer to your question that you know you're not getting the truth. Now you can turn up the heat with this technique a little bit more by adding a tactic called the fax Domino. The facts Domino means that during the conversation you simply ask in a general way, questions pertaining to your suspicion that forced the person to continue to recall more and more information. If he's speaking the truth, they don't answer you quickly and effortlessly. But if he's lying, he's going to take a while because he's trying to mentally rehearse his answers. For example, you would ask questions that give an objective not a subjective response. For instance, if you think an employee was at home when he said he would really be away visiting a sick mother, you wouldn't ask him how enjoyed the weather in Florida, because people generally take longer to respond to these types of questions. Instead, ask him something such as Did you rent the car and then casually asks more questions in the same vein? What kind of car? The Durant's 80 to get a cool color and so on and so on. Generally, the only way someone would want to change the subject would be if he's uncomfortable with the questions. If you're asking simple, innocuous questions, you should expect that he would want to extend the conversation and not end it. Most people would love to go on endlessly about the new restaurant. They went to the trip they took with a job to turn down. Unless, of course, they're lying and you keep asking questions, and then it becomes quite annoying and frustrating for them, and they're going to look the change of subject as fast as they can 4. Stealth Lie-Detection: Tactic 3: The Integrity Testers: Uncover a Person’s TRUE Intentions: part one. Stealth lie detection tactics for detecting to seat and gathering information Tactic. Three. The Integrity testers. If you catch a person one lie, it makes good sense. The question. Everything else that person has said or will say to you. With this tactic, you can find out if you're dealing with a person of integrity or if he's willing to say or do anything to convince you of something that simply isn't true. And there are many ways to apply this technique. For example, let's say that you're looking to buy a car, and the sales person says you must act quickly because two other people have looked at this exact same car and Celeste one have gotten stock. Sound familiar? So you would say something such as I hear this model retains its value better than any others. Or isn't it true that they're going to raise the prices significantly on next year's model ? These are all statements and honest sales. Person will question if he or she hasn't heard of it. However, if your sales person is quick to agree with you, it means that he would say almost anything to make the sale, which also means that he's probably doesn't necessarily have your best interests at heart and maybe doesn't have anyone else looking at the car, even though he claimed otherwise. For example, to respond such as, Oh, I didn't hear that, or I'd have to check that out or on a statements from an honest person. However, if he's just quickly agrees with you or just ignores the question altogether, then he's likely Onley interested in making the sale. You see, by forcing him to tell you something that is against his own best interests, you can easily ascertain his level of integrity. Let's take another example. Let's say that your travel agent suggests the five day cruise get away vacation. Now you're looking to really let loose. You want a trip? That's gonna be nonstop fun. But you're not sure if she is pushing this package because the commission on it is better than the other packages or if it really is a great deal for you. So you would say something such as the brochure looks great, Sandy, I just want to be sure that this is not one of those nonstop party boats. I'm looking for some rest, A relaxation is this that kind of trip? By asking your question this way you will know the intentions of your travel agents and the answer to your question. If she answers yes, then you know that the cruise is not for you or she's lying to get your business. Either way, you're not going to book this cruise through this travel agent Onley by are telling you things something that she thinks that you don't want to hear. Will she established herself is trustworthy and honest, And you will have confirmed that this is in fact, the crews that you want to go on and that you're dealing with the travel agent that you can trust. Let's take another example. You asked your waiter for decaffeinated coffee, and five minutes later the bus boy comes by with a filled cup of coffee. We've all been there, so you would simply say this is regular coffee, right? If he confirms that it is, either he doesn't care enough to know for sure or really is regular. Either way, you know that you may not want to be drinking that cup of coffee because it's not what you asked for, however, should he tell you that. No, I'm sorry. It's decaffeinated. Something he thinks that you don't want to hear. Then you can be pretty sure that what you're getting is what you originally asked for. Now, sometimes you may not get the truth because a person simply doesn't care enough. Apathy could be very difficult to deal with, and fewer things are more frustrating in dealing with someone who just doesn't give a darn because you don't have a whole lot of leverage to work with. So the trick here is to gain more leverage. So you've got more bargaining power. And here's how this technique works. You simply have to change the equation so that he's got something more at stake. The technique is the ultimate apathy, Buster. Let's see how this works. You take your car to the mechanic and he tells you it will be fixed by Friday. No worries. But you just know something is gonna happen, and it's going to be sitting in the garage all weekend. What do you do? So you would say something such as? Okay, Joe, tomorrow's fine. Just so you know, my wife is pregnant and she's due any day. That's our only car. So if you can think of any reason why it may not be ready on Friday, you've really gotta let me know. Now let's take one more illustration. You asked the waiter if there's MSG in your salad. That's an additive that a lot of people allergic to. And he tells you No, no MSG. But he doesn't really seem terribly convincing. And you want to make sure. Therefore, you would say something as Okay, Albert, that's fine. Just so you know, I'm deathly allergic to MSG one for full. It's off to the hospital. I go after hearing this. Do you think Albert may want to double check with Chef? Notice that the equation changes in these two scenarios? Initially, neither the mechanic norther waiter might have been terribly concerned about your schedule or where you're eating. However, their apathy quickly gives way to concern because now they're dealing with more than just an inconvenience. Simply change the stakes, and the leverage is yours. Now you can turn up the heat with this strategy simply by taking a step closer to the person and looking him directly in the eyes, and then you make your assertion. If he's being honest and he won't become flustered. But if he's lying or is not sure, he's going to feel trapped guilty and worried that you may be onto him emotionally. When you make eye contact with somebody, it increases the level of intimacy, and it makes it harder for them to tell you something. That may not be true, because inside the feeling, a degree of guilt. So again, before you make your assertion, simply step in, look him in the eyes and say the same words. And if there's any shot that he's not being 100% truthful, he's going to adjust a story to become more in line with the truth strategy to future tense . This strategy will allow for you to gauge a person's integrity, commitment and honesty with respect to any future events or situation. The following examples illustrates a process that is becoming very popular with employee screening tests. The following questions are asked the perspective employees to determine if he or she is an honest person. Let me ask you this question. If you really want to the job, how would you answer the following questions? One. Have you ever cheated on an exam, too. Have you ever run through a stop sign? Three. You have a friend who has ever shoplifted four. Have you ever had thoughts of harming someone that had hurt you? Now many of us would answer yes to these questions, and that is precisely the answer our perspective employees is looking for. Why? Because the honest answer is yes. For most of us, the employers task is finding out who are honest about it. Stealing a pack of gum when you're nine years old doesn't make you a bad person or undesirable employees, but lying about it today does. And it speaks to your integrity and commitment to the truth. Today, the benefit of the strategy is that you'll learn what kind of person you're dealing with and what his true intentions are. For example, let's say that Martha's teenage son, who has been away from home and living on the streets for the past three years, wants to come home now, knowing that her son is addicted to heroin, for example, she questions his sincerity because she's been down this road before with him. Now she could say that he could move back home, but only if he enrolls in a drug rehabilitation program and will probably agree to this whether he has plans to or not. If he's sincere, of course, he'll say yes, and if he's lying, is also likely to agree to this. And this doesn't give Martha any indication of her sons to intentions. But Martha is taking this course, and instead she tells her son that he can move back, but only if he quits cold turkey and starts a job. The minute is back home. Her son's answer will reveal his commitment to getting well, which is the real concern for her now. Of course, her son can't get rid of his addiction instantly and get to work the same day little on the same week or month. So if he indicates that he will, she knows that he's lying about his intention to get well. However, if he says that he will enroll in a program and will get a job when he's clean and so on, she knows that he is sincere in his pursuit of wellness. When you see the gauge of persons, honesty and commitment, propose a solution that you know is too difficult if he acknowledges the difficulty of the solution. He's likely Ernest and his desire to reach the specified outcome. But if he readily agrees to it, then he has ulterior motives and this less pure with his intentions. 5. Sign 1: Delay Tactics and Qualifiers - Sign 2: Deflects and Depersonalizes: part two signs of deceit, the four telltale signs of deceit. In short, liars don't answer the question. They try to manage your perception of them, and they're thrilled when the conversation is over. Let's take a look to see what this sounds like and looks like Sign one delay tactics and qualifiers. A strong sign of deception is when your subject stalls because he needs time to buy himself time to consider his options, to prepare his answer. The shift, the topic entirely. A strong sign of deception is when your subject stalls because he needs to buy himself time to consider his options, to prepare his answer or to shift the topic entirely. Therefore, he may ask you to repeat the question he may repeat the question himself asked you to qualify the question, qualify his own answer or answer your question with a question. For example. The question is, did you sell me a puppy with a heart condition? Here are what a few red flag responses would sound like. I'm sorry you're asking me what exactly? Or you asking me if I sold you a puppy with a heart condition or what's your point exactly ? Or Why would you ask me something like that? Or where is this coming from? Or that's a good question. I'm glad you asked that. Or, to be perfectly honest, to be frank did, To tell you the truth or while it's not so simple as yes or no signed to deflects the personalizes or globalize is when a person is asked the question if he responds with an answer. That de personalize is and globalize is the question. Be aware. Let's say, for example, you would ask somebody. Were you honest with me about our conversation yesterday? Watch out. If you get a reply like I would never lie to you. You know how I feel about lying or when someone is asked, Did you have a steal from your last job? Any responds with? I think stealing from a job is one of the worst things a person can dio, or did you ever cheat on me and you hear you know him against that sort of thing? I think it's morally reprehensible. Also include in this category is ever pervasive and always annoying response. Why would I lie to you if you get a response like this to an accusation that you're making be suspicious. If he's being accused of something he's done, then he probably has an excellent reason to lie to you again. The rule of thumb is that a truthful response is short and direct, not convoluted, long winded or complicated. If the subject offers a longer explanation, that's okay if the denial was upfront and clear, which means that you have to hear no and not How could you ever ask me such a thing? Or this is crazy. Ask anyone who knows me. I would never do anything like that. My reputation is gold around here. How could you question my honesty? These are all highly problematic. Finally, be aware of the person who uses humor and sarcasm to diffuse your concerns. For instance, you ask one of your sales people. Let's say if she was meeting with competition and she replies, Sure we did. In fact, we meet every day in a secret warehouse, and you can only get in if you know the special knock and it's there where we discuss your eventual downfall and your entire business empire will be ours. This makes you feel foolish about enquiring further and she knows it. When you ask a serious question, you should expect a direct response. The bottom line is that if you're subject didn't kill his wife, then you don't want to hear that he loved his wife and he would never do anything like that . You don't want to hear that he's not a monster or a crazy person. And if the teacher didn't abuse a student, you don't want to hear that he didn't harm this child, that he's not that kind of perverts or that everyone this school knows him and that his reputation is pure golden, spotless. All this maybe, well, untrue. And it's fine if he voices it. But the centerpiece of his rebuttal should be a consistent denial. And that means no, not proof, that he's not that kind of person who would ever commit such a crime. 6. Sign 3: Impression Management: Playing it Too Cool: part two signs of deceit. The four telltale signs of deceit signed three Impression management playing it too cool when a person is lying but tries to appear otherwise, this leads to what's cold perception management a person's attempt to present, in a certain way an image in order to convey the right effect. The thing about this, though, is that the person almost always overcompensates and if you look for it, could be glaringly obvious. Remember, the truthful person is not interested in how he's coming across. He is unconcerned with his image, unlike his deceptive counterpart, who was focused solely on others impression of him. The Game of Poker offers an apt illustration. For example, Ah, card player bets heavily and raises the pot. Does he have the cards or simply guts? When bluffing in a poker hand, he wants to show that he's not timid. He might put his money and very quickly. But if he does have a good hand, what might he dio? He might deliberate a bit. Putting it in slowly showing is not really sure about his hand. Poker professionals know that a bluffing person will give the impression that he is a strong hand, while the person with a strong hand will often give the impression that he is a weekend when people pretend to be confident in a poker hand or in the real world, they manipulate how confident they appear by trying to create the opposite impression off how they truly feel again while bluffing and trying to appear confident. Ah, player bets quickly. And when he has a good hand, he may actually wait a moment or two. Pretending is thinking about what he should do. The principle applies in almost every situation. You will observe signs of impression management in three main areas number one over display of thoughtfulness and sincerity. For example, In law enforcement, we know that a person who is guilty will often show deliberate, pensive displays such as stroking or tapping his chin. He'll activists. He's trying to give serious thought to the question they're asking even the simplest of questions in its him to appear is if he's trying to be very, very helpful and giving serious starts of what you're saying to overt appearance, of being common confident. Any superfluous gesture in a serious situation is a sign that the person is trying to act calm and confident. For instance, once again in law enforcement, we know that a subject may yawn to show that he's relaxed, calm or even board. If the person is sitting, he may stretch out his arms covering more territory, as if the demonstrate comfort in a feeling of Grady's or the subject, maybe busy picking off lint, trying to show he's preoccupied with something trivial and clearly can't be worried. The only problem is that someone who was wrongly accused will be quite indignant and not pay attention to such inconsequential activities, nor be engaged in promoting the quote unquote right image. Overtly polite and gracious, For example, a detective is meeting with the parents of a young girl who appears to have been kidnapped . And in fact, the detective tells the husband that the girl man, fortunately already be dead. Surely the Afterward, the detective hands the husband a cup of coffee, and he responds with something such as Thanks very much. I really appreciate this. After a day like today, I really need a cup of coffee. He is engaging in perception management and trying to convey that he is polite, considerate and well mannered, meaning the kind of person who would never harm a flea, let alone his own child. Now, good manners is one thing, and it's appropriate button. Inappropriate level of politeness is a waving red flag. 7. Sign 4: After the Conversation: part two signs of deceit, the four telltale signs of deceit signed for after the conversation. Oof! I'm glad that's over with Watch and listen carefully, because after the conversation notice, if the subject becomes happy that the conversation has changed, does he appear more relaxed? He may even offer a smiler nervous left notice this posture. Does he become less defensive? More teas? The give away here is how fast and dramatically his mood changes, indicating his discomfort with the previous subject matter. So you can test to see how quick he is toe want the change of subject, because if he's been accused of something downright awful and he is innocent, he is going to assert that the accusation is unfair and insist that the topic be explained further or neither. Now, at some future date, remember, the guilty person wants a subject change as quickly as possible in the conversation to end , the innocent person always wants a further exchange of information and want the conversation to continue to the point of clarity. For both of you. Now, in non criminal situations with is a personal element. You can turn up the heat a bit by forcing the conversation too uncomfortable end, For instance, Let's say you think your mother in law may have hired a private investigator to follow you around. I know a real hypothetical. First you tell her something that you both know to be true. I know you're not very fund of me and you objected to the wedding right from the beginning , but this time you've gone too far. Next, you state your assumption. I know all about the investigation. Why did you think that that was necessary? And now the magic phrase. You know what? I'm just too upset to talk about this Now if she becomes quiet, she's probably guilty. Probably if she has no idea what you're talking about. You can be sure that she doesn't care that you're becoming upset and don't want to talk about it because you have no reason to be upset. The guilty person will honor your request because he or she doesn't want to anger you further. An innocent person will be mad at you for accusing them of something that they haven't done and will want to discuss it further 8. Interrogation Sequence 1: Time Line Distortion: Part three. The three most effective interrogation methods to gain a confession interrogation sequence . Number one Timeline distortion. This sequence combines several psychological principles and produces truly remarkable results to explain. We use the following example. Let's say that your wife calls you up at work one day and informs you that your 15 year old son took the family car out for a joy ride and was just brought back by the police. You might be understandably upset, However. Let's take the same set of circumstances except for one thing. In that conversation, your wife casually mentions that this mischievous deed was done by your now 25 year old son 10 years earlier. Your reaction is likely to be considerably more mild. Why? Because time has passed. Let's look at the flip side of this example. You get a better sense of what we want to do here. If the couple's son borrowed their car without permission 10 years earlier, he would probably feel that he could mention it with full impunity and might even be amusing at this point. And he certainly doesn't have to worry about getting in trouble of being punished. It's doubtful, though, that he would feel so comfortable telling his parents he had taken the car the night before . You see time is a powerful psychological tool that dramatically shift our perspective. And the two factors affecting time are when the event occurred and when you became aware of it. If either or both of these factors or movements the past, the event is no longer timely, and this greatly reduces its perceived significance. And here's where comes into play. Let's take an example. We suspect several employees in your store or stealing money with one of the employees. You let the conversation casually turn to the subject of stealing and you'd say something such as, you know, I knew right from the start what was going on. You had to know. I knew. How else do you think you could have gotten away for it for so long? I hope you don't think I was a complete idiot about this. That's a great phrase, by the way, because he doesn't want to risk offending you on top of everything else. Next, you reassure him that it's OK. I know that you were just going along with it because you were scared or what the other people would dio. I know you're not that kind of person. Do you see how nice that this works? Now? You simply move the conversation past this point with something such as. I just want to make sure that it's limited to merchandise that has been used, their return to refurbish. Or we just need to tamper down for the next couple of weeks because they're going to be doing inventory check, and that's it. If he doesn't pursue the conversation and question her allegations, then it is most likely that he is guilty strategy to pass them perfect again. The psychological principles can be applied in a number of different ways, and the key to this interrogation sequence is toe. Let your subject believe that you already know the truth and that you have known about it for some time. Let's take another scenario where parents suspects that her 12 year old sons has been smoking cigarettes. The following approaches are listed in order from worst to best one. Have you been smoking cigarettes? I'm gonna kill you if I find that you have. This approach is awful, the worst, and unfortunately it's the most common because in her anger, the boy's mother links confessing the truth to a punishment. And this destroys any incentive that the person has to confess. Next. You've been smoking having you. Now this approach is a little better because the mother indicates that she is some type of proof or evidence, and such a approach will work sometimes, but not always. Next, you could say, I want to speak to you about your smoking. Now the child feels the parent OD knows that he's smoking, and the focus of the request is on discussing it. The parent may get a response, such as I don't want to talk about this. However, the truth is revealed in that statement. But the best is I know all about the smoking and sneaking around. You know, I'm not happy about that, but I just want you to promise me that you're not going to drink alcohol until you're 21. This is by far the finest approach because it works on so many levels. First, it takes a forward Assumpta of stands, meaning the parent knows all about the smoking. Second, it uses to truisms the phrases sneaking around, and you know that I'm not happy about it sets the tone for honesty because the child here's two things that he knows to be true. He was, in fact, sneaking around. And his mother, of course, is unhappy about the smoking he is therefore willing to accept at face value. What follows next. Finally, the mother gives the sun and easy out. All he has to do is promise not to drink in his home free. There's no threat. There's no punishment, just honest statements followed by a deal that makes sense for him to accept now. So just to review the guidelines to keep in mind in this procedure are number one. Assume your suspicions of fact to state of these two truisms fax that you both know to be true, then switched the focus from a threat to request. The request should be easy for him to accept, and it should sound reasonable if you don't get the answer you're looking for. Continue on to phase two 9. Interrogation Sequence 2: Unforced Explanations: Part three, the three most effective interrogation methods to gain a confession interrogation sequence . Two unforced explanations In this sequence, the person must answer your question with information, not a simple denial, but the information they disclose will reveal his guilt or innocence. For example, let's say John's house had been broken into, and he was convinced that his ex girlfriend, whom he had recently broken up with, was the culprit here. But he wasn't exactly sure she had his key and the only thing that was missing with some expensive jewelry that was well hidden but that she knew about now the housekeeper, the electrician who had recently done some work there, could also have taken it. Or it might just have been a random burglary. Just calling his ex girlfriend and accusing her of this crime would obviously have been futile. She would deny any and all knowledge of the event, and he would be left with no evidence and no confession. Instead, he proceeds as follows. He phones her. It's a letter known a very non accusatory way that there had been a break in in his house and some items were missing. But in an attempt the sound surprised. She may asked what happened. And the following is a short illustration of the type of conversation that might very well ensue. John, the police are gonna want to talk to everyone who had access to the house. Since you still have a key, they're gonna want to speak to you and ask you a couple of questions. Just routine stuff, I'm sure. Ex girlfriend. But I don't know anything about this, John. Oh, I know. Just policy, I guess. Anyway, one of my neighbors said that you got a partial license plate number of the car that was by my house that day. Ex girlfriend after a long pause. Well, I was driving around your neighborhood that day. I stopped by just to see if you were home. But when you weren't, I just left. And that was it. Now, so far, she has effectively explained her presence there that day. But in doing so, she has established either an uncanny coincidence or her likely guilt. Had she been innocent, she would have no reason to pursue this line of questioning or conversation. Now he continues to introduce more evidence, John. Oh, really? Well, they did a fingerprint test two, and that should show something. Ex girlfriend. What test? John? Oh, they dusted for prints and so on. Now, at this point, she's going to go ahead and explain how the police might pick up her prints because she had been there obviously, many times and so on. But she continues to dig her own grave now, to review you casually inform you, suspect the situation and then introduce evidence to be rebutted. As you introduce the evidence. Look to see if every one of your statements or met by explanations from him as toe how the evidence could be misunderstood. A misconstrued. Let's take another quick example. Let's say you suspect that your coworker had shredded some of your files in hopes of beating you out for a promotion. You would first set the stage by letting him know that you can find some of your files and then say something, such as, Well, it's a good thing. My new secretary noticed someone by the shredder the other day. She said that she recognized his face but didn't really know his name at this point. See if he offers up a reason as to why he could be mistaken for the real culprit. Now he might tell you that he was there shredding some of his own documents. An innocent person would not feel the need to explain this in order to avert the possibility that he might be wrongly accused. Now you continue with MAWR more fax because you do want to rule out an uncanny coincidence , but you make it harder for the person to explain it away. And in actuality, as he talks more about the situation, he explains how a quote look this way, even though, in fact it's not. Now. If you don't get the answer, you looking for once again continue on to phase two. 10. Interrogation Sequence 3: Building the Narrative: Part three. The three most effective interrogation methods to gain a confession interrogation sequence . Three. Building the narrative. Now we'll look at the traditional formal interview or interrogation process, but before we begin, there are four psychological ground rules that you've got to keep in mind in order. Maximise the information that you're going to get Number one. Give no warning of this subject that you're going to bring up or any feelings of mistrust that you may have to never, ever interrupt. You can't learn anything new while you're talking. Also, ask open ended questions. This gives you the opportunity to hear longer answers and certainly don't rush to fill the silence. The guilty of horse silence. It makes them very uncomfortable, and so they will often continue to add on to what they've already said. So you've got to give them that brief space to do so next night, your head in agreement as a person is speaking, research find that a person, innocent or guilty will speak to the three times longer if they feel the listeners interested in what they're saying and encouraging him to continue so simple casual night and can be very effective and finally avoid harsh words and phrases such as embezzlement, lying, murder, confession and so on and try to stay away from language that pits you against him. For instance, Rather than stop the lying and tell me the truth, you'd say something such as, Let's hear the whole story or let's clear the air for everyone's sake. Now, as you begin the researchers definitive on this, the more pleasant and friendly you are to him, the more quickly he will open up. Indeed, the way you present yourself. Congrats, the influence, the attitude of the other person. Simple gestures such as unbutton your coat or on crossing your arms, commit the other person, feel much less defensive and much more open. When you have report with someone, he's much more inclined to feel comfortable, and you build sort of a psychological bridge, and it creates a space for trust. And this is very important because the person who trust you is likely continue to talk to you, and the conversation is gonna be more positive, and you're going to be more persuasive now. One powerful tip establishment poor is to match the rate of speech that the person is speaking In other words, if he's speaking sort of relaxed home like this, or if he's speaking very quickly by you, speaking of the same pace, psychologically speaking, it creates sort of an emotional bridge where he feels an unconscious level that you're in sync with him. You're sort of quote unquote get him. So, by the way, hope there a lot of people out there that speak very quickly like I do, so you'll feel in sync with May. Then you can move on to a simple question answer session whereby you ask questions and he answers in doing so, never reveal what you know. First, ask questions to gather information to see if it's consistent with what you already know. An alternate approach is when you build a narrative whereby you just begin to tell your story about what you believed to have happened. This gives your subject the impression that you know much more than you really dio and Research finds that is likely to reveal much more information than he would have otherwise , and certainly he has the freedom to correct you as you move along. But don't press him for information, but merely tell your version of events. In doing so, you'll get much more than you would have gotten by threats or by accusations. And if he is guilty, the signs of deception will become high. The evidence in this conversation now. One caveat to keep in mind is to avoid confronting your subject with damning evidence too early in your story. Because if you haven't yet established report, he's more inclined to adopt a hostile posture. In other words, you've just sat down with them, you confront them, is gonna freeze, and you don't want to start off with that blanket denial because then you've got no one to work with. And he's certainly not gonna cooperate with your story line, and he may resort to a plausible alibi or stopped speaking altogether once again. If you don't get the answer you're looking for, continue on to phase two 11. Silver Bullet: Employ Ego Defenses, Up the Ante and Close the Deal: part three. The three most effective interrogation methods to gain a confession. Phase two silver bullet if you haven't yet gotten your confession. But you believe that you're close, Use the following silver bullet toe. Help nudges subject right over the finish line employees, ego defences and up the ante. No one wants to think of themselves as a bad person. So by accommodating the ego, we make it easier for the person to confess by excusing their behaviour and thus reducing the associated guilt or shame. The three main ways to do this is through justification, minimization and projection. For example. Justification might sound like this. You were in an impossible situation and you did what any father would dio or most people would call you a hero minimization would sound something like this. I can understand that Maybe you didn't plan on this happening. You know, you need to tell me that you didn't do this intentionally or you couldn't let him talk to you like that. So you had to go ahead and hit him. It's not like you killed the guy or anything. Finally, projection would sound something like this. You know, guys like that they get what they've got coming or it's a $1,000,000,000 company. And they treated you like garbage. Or I understand why you would have done that. You were probably just treated unfairly or something was lacking. What can I do to help make sure that this never happens to you again? Once you reduce the guilt of shame, you need to intensify the pressure to confess. Right now. Now. Plums. No, that the best time to negotiate a price is when the basement is flooded. Now, obviously, the motivation for the Homeowner Toe Act is going to be highest when the problem is most intense. And when my pilots go on strike right before the holidays. The peak day of travel. Now, the name of the game here is leverage. Deadlines produce results. For example, in your own life, how fast do you think you would get your taxes in if there was no deadline or if there was a deadline? But there was no penalty attached to it. How fast do you think a project would be done at work if you have a boss told you that? You know what? When you get to it, you get to it. No worries as long as you get to before you retired, refine right now. Would you ever get around to using those coupons if they had no expiration date? We have deadlines with penalties attached in almost every area of our lives because deadlines with penalties force action. Therefore, you can dramatically increase your leverage by conveying that the opportunity to speak is now and then. He'll never be in such a good position again right now is when he has the greatest control of the situation. But once the conversation is over and you get what you need from someone else or you discover more evidence of his wrongdoing, all bets are off. Then he's going to be unable to help himself and he'll lose control the situation, See if the guilty party thinks that he can always come clean. Then he's going to do a wait and see approach before tipping his hand and give you any more information. But more precisely, human beings have a fundamental need to feel in control. So you want to link his coming clean now with a greater sense of safety and security for himself. It sounds something like this. We need to clear the air about this. After I leave this room, I'm not gonna be able to help you. There are always two sides to a story, and right now you can help yourself by explaining your side.