NEW CONFIDENCE : Boost Your Self Confidence & Self Esteem | Alain W. | Skillshare

NEW CONFIDENCE : Boost Your Self Confidence & Self Esteem

Alain W.

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11 Lessons (48m)
    • 1. Welcome

    • 2. Confidence Hacks 1: Secrets Revealed (language) (+ Exercise)

    • 3. Confidence Hacks 2: Secrets Revealed (focus) (+ Exercise)

    • 4. Confidence Hacks 4: Secrets Revealed (barriers & self judgment) (+ Exercise)

    • 5. Stop Comparing Yourself With Others (+ Exercise)

    • 6. Be Free Of Self-Doubt & Indeciveness (+ Exercise)

    • 7. Transform Negative Thoughts Into Positive Thoughts (+ Exercise)

    • 8. Stop Worrying What People Think Of You (+ Exercise)

    • 9. Become Confident In Social Interactions (+ Exercise)

    • 10. Get Confident To Smile! (+ Exercise)

    • 11. Get Confidence To Maintain Eye Contact (+ Exercise)

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About This Class

adiate Confidence In Every Area Of Your Life & Boost Your Self Esteem

Did you know that becoming self confident would give you all these benefits (according to many studies):

People who are self confident tend to experience less fear & social anxiety, become free of self double & indeciveness, , tackle life's challenges with more certainty & ease, become happier, become comfortable socially, take more care of their health, perform better at work and get better sleep.

Is that something that you would like to experience?

Welcome to the only self confidence you will ever need!

  • Becoming Confident
  • Boost Self Worth & Self Esteem
  • Become Unstoppable in Life
  • Build Social Confidence
  • Be Free Of Self Doubt & Indecisiveness

Remove Self Doubt, Stop People Pleasing Behavior, Stop Indecisiveness & Be Free Of Stress/Anxiety

This course if for people who would like to become more confident and boost their self esteem. It has been adapted to help people with little self confidence & self esteem and people who were already confident but needed that extra edge.

At the end of this course, you will become a new version of yourself. You will learn powerful tools & techniques in this course that will transform you into the confident person that you would like to become.

What are you waiting for? Enroll in this course right now so you can start your transofmration!


1. Welcome: have you ever bean in a situation where you lacked self confidence Where you were second guessing yourself where you had this negative feeling inside your body? You knew that you should act. You knew that you should do something. But there was something that was holding you back. Maybe you wanted to start an interaction with someone. Maybe you wanted to speak up. You wanted to share one opinion with someone. You wanted to say something to someone, or you wanted to find the courage to finally do something. But there was something that was preventing you from acting. Remember how you felt when you were lacking self confidence and there was something that was holding you back. How did you feel? I'm sure that you had this negative feeling inside your body. U s second guessing yourself. You were wondering, what will people think of you? And at the end, you didn't act. How comfortable was this feeling off lack off self confidence. Now imagine that you could become more self confident that you could remove this negative feeling from your body and that you could never second guess yourself again. How would that improve your life? Did you know that's becoming confident is a skill that can learns is like any other skill. The more you practice, the better you get at it. My name is on a roof and have already had 1,000,000 of people to become better versions off themselves by becoming more confident. If you take this course now, you will become more confident. Now I really want you to become comfortable taking the schools. That's why there is a 30 day money back guarantee. So it means that you can enroll in the schools. You can try the schools and see if you like it. And if not, you can get your money back. There is zero is involved in this deal. The only thing you can gain its confidence. So in running discourse now so we can start your amazing adventure together. I'm waiting for you on the other side 2. Confidence Hacks 1: Secrets Revealed (language) (+ Exercise): another great way to boost your self confidence is by trooping the language use because the language use will have an impact on your level off self confidence. So this is what we see here in this lecture is how can you use a language that will make you even more self confidence if you listen to to people, the first person is someone that is really high confident, and the second person is someone that he's really low. Confident. The low, confident person will use a language that he's self destructive, such as my problem is or the problem is I don't succeed because I'm not as good as other people. You can see here that the language is really self destructive, and if you compare that to someone who is more confident, the personalities more confident. We use language such as, you know, I'm really great at I succeed because my challenge is not going to talk about problems but his challenges. You see here that the language is different, someone that is low confidence will say, You know what? I failed someone that has more confidence. We say, Oh, it was a great learning experience. You can see here that there is a difference between people who are low, confident and high confidence. So why not select a language that will empower you? This is the key here in this language, so 1,000,000,000 crew adjutant to first be a way off the language you use. And if you use words that are self destructive, as I don't succeed, because my problem is I fail at life because and if you see, like all the sentences that are framed negatively, because your Internet safety it was, it's what will impact your level off self confidence. So you should really be aware of this self destructive world. My problem is, and then you can see like you will always give excuses. You will always say what's not good about shoot. Instead, you should shift your focus from what's not great about you know what's amazing about you. Instead, off saying, instead of saying the issue with me, ease, you can say I'm great at you can see here while it's still destructive, and one will empower you, and you should select that. So I really encourage you Now toe reflect on the words that you use, and now that you are aware of that. Try to use a language that will empower you. And really, the first step is about being away. Because you know what you have the your mindset, your belief that will influence your level off self confidence. But we'll also have the language, and the language will come from the mindset. So if you change the language, you conventions your mindset and then your level of confidence. Just by changing the words you use, you will see that it will really increase your level off self confidence. When I did that, it was really incredible because I was always focused on what was wrong about me, why I was not succeeding, why everyone else had more experience at me. Why everyone is better than me. And then I had this change. I sense my belief. I sent the way. I used the words and it totally and partner and my behavior changed immediacy. So now your homework, I would say your exercises be aware of the words used and then transformed them from some the 10 sentences and the words that you use in words that will empower you if you have any problem with that you can write in the discussion, bar the words that you use, and then I can help you with that. And I can help you to give the words that will empower you. 3. Confidence Hacks 2: Secrets Revealed (focus) (+ Exercise): What you focus on will dictate your level off self confidence and is what we see here in this lecture is how you can use the power off your fuckers toe. Really boost your left off. Self confidence so high, confident people were focused on what they're great at and low confidence people will focus at what they're bad at. It's really about the focus that you have in your mind. Let's make a quick game if I asked you to just look around and look at everything that he's blue. Okay? For 10 seconds. Just go look around. Look around. Look at everything that is brute. Okay, Now close your eyes. Now can you tell me everything that is green? What? Maybe you can say a few things a few items, But the thing that U S O focused about finding everything that has blue that your focus was on finding blue. And now if I ask you Hey, can you tell me? But it's green around. You say I don't really know. That's the same thing. If you focus on what's bad about you about why you're not create, you will not be able to accept the information about why you are awesome. Why you have value. Why you are confident the information is there. But you're not accessing without that r a s. Basically, it's like a net. And whatever you focus on you will catch in business. So you should really focus on your qualities and why you're a great that. And I think this is a really key here. If you really want to boost your self esteem and self confidence every day everywhere, focus on would create about you about what you did. Well, not on. Okay, I did that wrong. Oh, my God. I approached this person. I was rejected. Oh, my God. And good. Oh, my God. Dispersed. That had a better position in the company that need Oh, my God, I saw No. You should focus on the things that our great that are great about you. Now, let's take another example. Let's say that you go out and then you approach someone and then you are rejected. And then what happens that at the end of the lights you will go home And the low, confident personals we'd say, Oh, my God, I got rejected. That's what's so awful. Oh, my God, I suck. But what happens is that if you have this mindset, if you focus on what was bad, your self esteem will be destroyed. But if you use the two questions after every interaction after every every experience, it can be a job interview. It can be anything. If you use this to question here, you would see that it would really boost your self confidence and said Esteem. These two questions are what was great about me. It is a direction in in data what was great about me in that situation. Because instead of focusing on what was wrong about you, if a Christian months straight, remember, focus its power. If you focus on your qualities, it would boost yourself confident. So you focus on everything. That was great. Okay, the second question is that what can I improve next time? Instead of releasing everything that you did wrong, you frame it on everything that you can improve next time. And if you do that, if you have this to question that use after every direction, you will see that you level or self esteem and self confident. We go from here to here, you go. You approach someone, you have a job interview. You have a discussion, A discussion with your boss. You have anything else in your life? You can use this to question here. These are the best questions in the world Now I would like to give you an exact site. So today I would like to reflect on your date so that the day you're going to have I want you to reflect on the experiences you had and then ask yourself these two questions What was great about me in that situation? And what can I improve next time? And then also I would like that today, three times during the day you take one minutes to just focus on what create about you not on what's wrong about you but what's great about you. For example, let's say that you are working in an office and then you can just say OK, now it is my minutes and then you start focusing on. That's great about you. Oh, I have this job. I have this degree or I have the confidence level that is increasing. I have taught at a time then just to focus on the qualities on everything that's great about you and what would happen after a few days, confidence level would be up 4. Confidence Hacks 4: Secrets Revealed (barriers & self judgment) (+ Exercise): I would like you to give yourself the permission to be confident. Because if you rely on other people, if you say okay, you know what? I'm just going to be in the environment. I mean and I will see if people will say I'm confident or not and I will rely on them. I would rely on something that is external. If you do that, you will never have a control on how you feel on your confidence level. You set the scene because you re be always pinging on the other people's reactions and instead that you should do say, Okay, I want to give myself the permission off being confident, I'm going to take responsibility for that. I'm going to take and say, Okay, I want to be confident out and just by doing that's OK. It is my responsibility. If I'm confident, and if I have great self esteem, it's not about the others. It's about myself. Just like making the switch from your confidence level depends on the other people's reactions. Two. Okay, I decide I want to be completed and have good self esteem First, this is the first step to become more confident then the other step is about removing the limiting beliefs that you have about being self confident. Let's say that, for example, you would like to be more self confidence, But then you associate self confidence with our organs. You think that by being self confidence you will become arrogant. So then what happens that even if you say okay, I give myself permission to be self confidence. Your body won't listen. Why? Because you think that being more self confidence links to our organs and you don't want to be a Reagan so you don't have self confidence. So what I encourage you to look for now is what do you associate self confidence with and then look for the negative things that you associate self confidence with. So if I ask yourself this question, what do you associate self confident with? You can say people, that is high value people that has value socially. And then you can also say our organs. People who treat are the badly people, you know what I mean. And then you look for the ones that get you, and then when you have the beliefs that are linked to self confidence and that Tanigaki. I want to ask you this question. Is it 100% true? And if these beliefs serving you, let's take the example. I think that by being more self confident, I'm going to be more arrogance. Then you can say, OK, is it 1% true that everyone that is self confident is arrogant? No, that's not 100% truth. Okay, maybe what I was thinking about self confidence in the organs. Maybe that's not true. The first thing is to do that. It's ask a second question. Is it 100% truth? And then the question is, that is Disserving you Is this belief serving you? And in my case, I think the self confidence links to our organs. That's not serving me. So if it's not serving me, I would like you to change it, because now it's about linking self confident to something that is more positive because now you saw that, for example, self confidence. Ling Tau organs is not the 1% true, and it's not serving you now. The next question you could ask your staff is what would happen if I continue like that. If I continue to think that by being more self confident, I will be more arrogant. Oh, yeah. Then and then you link a lot off pain to that Because you want to show you brain that if your brain continues with these associations self confident arrogance, that is not 100% true and it is not serving you, it will give you a lot of pain. And that's how by dress, being aware off this negative association you bring start changing. Then you can say, Oh, you know what? Actually, no. I don't think that being self confidence means to arrogance because I have this friend that he says confidently and who is not arrogant. Oh, and that I have these other friends and you can see here The goal is to destroy this association. And then you can create a positive association. How you associate allots off benefits. So the new association it's OK, I'm not going to say that self confidence, Arrogance. I would say that self confidence is a lot of value social. So yeah, you know what I have? All these friends who have the who are self confident have oldest value socially. Oh, and then you associate all the benefits with a new belief that you have. You can see here like it's a little bit off deep psychology, but it's something that is really serving you because the limiting belief that you have in your head and that are related to being more self confidence is something that will be really hurt you if you don't remove them. Let's say, for example, I just want to share something here. I thought many years ago that money was even made money was bad. Money would make everyone hate me and be Tallis off me. So I was not getting more money, and then I had to change the beliefs, identify them, see if they were 11% true if they were serving me and then I say, OK, what would happen if I continue with these negative associations? Then I linked a lot of pain toe that I found a new positive association. I think a lot of pleasure to that. And now I can make more money because I removed my limiting beliefs. The really crude you to the that to just sit down and think, Okay, what do I say? Associate self confident with then see if it's negative. Positive it's serving you Yes or not. If it's on, understand. True, then if you want to change the association, link a lot of pain to that by asking this question. What would happen if I don't change and then find a new positive association and link a lot of pleasure to that because you want to have displeasure off being self confident. 5. Stop Comparing Yourself With Others (+ Exercise): people who are confident they don't compare themselves with other people. But they compare themselves with who they are and who they were before. Let's illustrate that. Let's see that you have a job at an entry level and any compare yourself with the CEO off the company. Then if you compare yourself with the other person, you'll be You know what? I will never be as good as him. Never, Never, never. And it would destroy level of self confidence and self esteem. So instead of comparing yourself with the other person, you can say you know what I'm going to compare with myself. And with the progress I'm making with the air fort, I'm making Toby a bad person because everyone has a different story. Everyone has a different level off focus and commitment. So maybe the CEO he worked all his life, like for 20 years to be a disposition, and he doesn't have a family, so maybe he's unhealthy. And then you compare yourself because let's say that you took more time to spend with You have a family and you like to do sports and you took more time. And now we're comparing yourself with someone that has that had another focus and that he's 20 years older than you and you say, You know what? I'm not as good as him. You can see here that it doesn't make sense. It doesn't make sense because you should compare yourself to yourself to the progress you're making. A question that you should ask yourself is, How can I improve myself every day consistently? This is a question that will help you away more to build your self confidence rather than comparing yourself with other people. If every day you compare yourself with yourself and you see that you increase your confidence level, it will be something amazing because you will slowly build their self confidence that you are improving. But you have to compare with yourself now the other size for today. I really encourage you to today focused on Are you comparing yourself with other people while you comparing yourself with yourself? Yes, it's OK. It's good. Just toe be inspired by the progress off all the people and where they are so that you can have a direction. But you should really compare yourself to yourself and it is the mission for today now I just want to the street with the last example. Let's say that for example, let's take the example off social skills. You are in a social interaction. Any compare yourself with someone that has really good social value. You see, You know what? I'm not like this person. You can see here that if you compare yourself directly, it's not really serving you. Instead, if you can say OK, this person has this kind of value. But I also have value have this different kind of value that I can use and it will empower myself. And you compare yourself with how great you are and the progress you are making to become better social. So I really hope that this lecture will really improve your confidence level. 6. Be Free Of Self-Doubt & Indeciveness (+ Exercise): So my advice would be to trust yourself, trust the fact that someone has to make a decision and someone has to assume it and take responsibility for that. So if you are low, confident and you have low self esteem, it will be a real challenge for you because you have to make a decision and then you have to take responsibility for that. And there's something that can be difficult at first so that it becomes easier. I really encourage you to start making decisions often what? You can see that even with your friends. And when they ask you Hey, do you know where we can go out? Hey, do you know a good restaurant instead of saying, Oh, you can truth? You can say Oh, yeah, The reason is good sushi restaurant here or this one here. I would recommend the sushi one here. Do you agree? Do you want to go there? Because by doing that, you train your brain toe, make decisions, and then you see how the other person react. Maybe the all the person they say, Oh, I don't really know. Maybe a week and it speeds up. Okay, Why not? What would you want to go? I want to go there and then you discuss and try to make decisions instead of resting. Okay, you can decide it's really about starting, baby step. It's and started to start that with your friends. This what I really recommend. Start by making decisions and assuming that and taking responsibility. And now you see how the other person reacts between that. If you say, Hey, I would like to go and it's sushi there and the person says, Oh, no Professor to Peter said, No, we're going to eat sushi now. We don't need that. Then you take the other person's opinion into account, and then you try to find a common drum. But be willing to make the decision because someone has to do that. And if you take responsibility for that, it will really increase your confidence level, and you will learn how to be responsible for your actions and for your decisions. Now let's say that you are at your job and you have to make a decision. So you are having a direction with someone, and the other person has more experience, and you would like to make the decision But you know that the other person would have more experience to make the decision. Then that's OK. You can ask the other person the other person, to make the decision for you because the other person has more experience. But in a case where let's say that you have the same experience that the other person you can make the decision, you can try to make the decision and then see how it goes and you'll see that most of the time people like people who make decisions because then they have to use less brain power toe act. So if you are making decisions, I would say Yes, we should. We could do that because based on fact, we should do that because based on that, you can see that people really like because you are making decisions and actually it's a great thing. It's a great skill to have most people think that you know what? I'm low confidence and I have low self esteem, so I'm not going to make a decision. But it's something really amazing to make decisions because the more decisions you make, the better you become at it and people will like you for that. Now I'm not saying you make the decision and you pose yourself No, you make the decision and then you see how the other person reacts, and then you can adapt and find a common ground. So, no, that's that can be really changing. That's why I encourage you. And the exercise is to talk with a friend and with your friends. When you are out, you can stop making decisions, and you can propose things and see how they react. Now the last point here would be about trusting yourself. Trust yourself to make the best decision you can in that moment in time with the information that you have and knowing that you have good intentions, that's it. If you trust yourself off making the best decision that you can in that moment in time with the information you have and you have good intentions, people won't really get mad at you. They like you because you are stepping up. You're making decisions, you are taking a risk, you are taking action and people really respect you for that. So I really encourage you to make decisions because you would see how it will improve your life 7. Transform Negative Thoughts Into Positive Thoughts (+ Exercise): so confident people, we see the world more positively done. Low, confident people who will see the world more negativity so confident people will see the glass half full and low. Confident people will see the glass half empty. Now when there is a situation, you can choose how you want to view it. Let's take the example off. You have a job promotion, you have a promotion at your job and there are many ways you can look at it. You can say, Oh my God, they gave me the promotion. Maybe it's a mistake. I don't know. I don't know if I can do that. I would have more pressure on, not worth it. Maybe it was a mistake. I don't deserve it and you can see it negatively. Or you can see it's more positively like a confident person who say, Oh, I finally deserve it. I work so hard and I'm sure now I can influence more people in the company. This is really great because I have these qualities here that I can help to influence people. You can see here that the situation is the same, but how you view it and how you interpret. It comes from a different confidence level. That's why I really encourage you to see the things more positively than negatively. Because you have a choice. You have a choice to see things, how you want them to see, because low, confident people think that there's only one way to see things. It's how there were viewing that negatively. Now there is the positive way off. Looking at things here. We're tryingto rewire your brain to think positively rather than negatively. When there is a situation, let's say that for them there is a new situation. You want to take a risk. You want to approach someone you want to go and have a job interview. You can say, Let's take the example of the job interview. You want to go there And the low, confident person would say, You know what? I don't really have any skills. Only had one job. I don't know if I'm good enough. Maybe actually asked for low. Sorry, so that people can really so that I have higher chances. Oh my God, I I don't even know if I should go there like you see, there are old, stressed the confident person say, Oh, you know what? It's a job. It's a job interview. That's right. I can show then how great I am. I can show how a great feat that will be for the company. So I think I will ask for a really good salary because I want to show them that I have value and that can really bring value to the table. The situation is the same. The job interview one is the low, confident person, and one is the confident person you can see here that it's not about really how you frame it in your mind. So the exercise for today is when there is a situation. Ask yourself, Are you seeing this situation positively or negatively? I'm not telling you to be completely delusional. But if that off, for example, say a set off seeing something as a failure, you see that as a learning experience, two points of view. The low, confident person would see that a failure the high, confident person would see that as a learning experience. Two point of view, the situation is the same, so I really encourage you to well, why're you brain into thinking more positively about the situation and the interactions you are in 8. Stop Worrying What People Think Of You (+ Exercise): So should you stop being approval sick? Remember last time that you were somewhere and then he had someone that waas making everything to make you like this person? So this person was adapting his personality Waas saying things to please you waas making jokes and waiting for your action while saying things and waiting for the good reaction that comes from you. How did that make you feel? I'm sure it made you feel really bad for this person. And the thing is that most people who are low, confident what they do with that there are up over thinking what and most people who are low confident they are approval seeking. So it means that they are going to say something. They're going to do something and wait for the reaction off the other person to see if they did something good all wrong and it would be the all the person that will say if it was good over. The thing is that if you depend on the other person's reaction to feel good or bad, you won't have control over it, and your level off self confidence will depend on how the person would really and What you do also is that you will adapt who you are to please the other person. And it's very it's something that is not attractive is something that you should be aware of that that if you try to make to do things toe say things so that the only person likes you. You're adapting who you are trying to manipulate my camera. Manage the reaction in the other person to make the other person like you and the key to having more self esteem to stop doing that. If you stop being approved seeking, you will see that you will have your own standards and your self esteem will come. Your self esteem and self confidence will come from who live in, and it won't depend on the other people's reactions. Now it's really about practicing to let go. If you say something, it's about defining what you want in life. What your passions are your interest and express who you are free and then let go. Don't try to micromanage the impression because that's something that you can't really control. You can't really control how the person is going to react, so if you say okay, I have my own standards now, and I'm just going to let go. I'm going to share who I am freely, and you will see that people will like you for who you are. And they were like you more whether that if you try to adapt who you are by micromanaging the impression that you're going toe making the other person, it's really not attractive if you do that, but by expressing who you are freely and by letting go by being who you are, having your own personality, your own drugs by sharing your passion, the interest who you are, you see that people will love you for that. That's why it's really important to stop being a privilege seeking now. Another question that you really want toe. Ask yourself if you really want toe Harmer a lot off pain and negative thoughts into the yeah, but what happens if I don't change? And if I continue being up for seeking, you can make a list now off 10 things that will happen if you don't stop being a proposed seeking, because I'm sure that now you understood, and I'm sure that you have this feeling that it's not really create Toby approval seeking. But now you can add even more paying to that so that your brain will say, Okay, I It's too much pain here. I don't want to be approved seeking anymore. And I just being aware of that and linking a lot off pain toe being upward seeking your brain will already stand and being less approval, Siqing. Now, the exercise for today is be aware when you are interactions, be away off when you are full seeking be a way off when you try to do things and say things and you wait for the erection off the other person to light you when you have that to say Okay, stop. I'm not going to be upriver seeking anymore. They're going to express myself freely. And as long as you have good intentions, it's going to go well. But you must start experiencing that you can express yourself freely. You can start with a friend. Always. The friend is the best person to start with because you can be more comfortable with that person, and this person can give you great feedback. So I really encourage you to the data for the French 9. Become Confident In Social Interactions (+ Exercise): so if you want to become more confidence in social interaction, I would really encourage you first to have a positive outcome about what's going to happen . So by that I mean that if you imagine that people are going to be friendly towards you and even you can consider them as your friends already. If you do that, you will have a positive anticipation and it will increase your level of confidence because you know what? People are friendly and imagine that they are already your friends, and then it would boost your level of confidence even before approaching that. Now I would like dressed to SharePoint a few. Here it's that dryness of shall situation. And then someone looks at you and then look down or look to the right of the left. And then you see that and you interpreted as, for example, someone making fun of you, all someone looking at you because you have something we're in your face. Or maybe you dread your the way you are. Watch your way in. Today's maybe a little bit weird. If you interpret, it's like that, like someone that is low confident. You interpret that when someone is looking at you as something negative, something that you did wrong. Or but it's not the case. What if this person was looking at you because this person was so shy that this person is not ableto approach you and wanted to look at you so that you could approach this person? Why not? What if you should see that your brain will have an impact on your level off self confidence social. So it's really important toe. Try to have better interpretations are off. Someone is looking at you. Oh, it's not baby because you have something on your face or what you're reading is wrong. But maybe this person wants to meet you. I want to see if your great passion you can see here. That's how you build the self confidence by also changing your internal self talk. Now, if you want to be more confident in social interactions, you have to use the process off building confidence, which is you go a little bit outside of your comfort zone and then you rainforest. It positively so would encourage you that you start by talking with a friend and you go there. You talk to the friend you are you five. You enjoy the moment and then you get some feedback. You can ask your friends. What did I do? Great Indian direction and not Can I improve next time? If it's a friend and you explain him that you want to become more confident socially. But you should ask him these two questions What's did I do? Great. And what can I improve next time? Not okay. What did I do wrong? It's all about the framing to build your level off social confidence. Now when you interact with new people I would say after you interacted with these people you can always ask yourself Oh, what was great in these interaction? What was great it in it? Is there action What was great Because you want your brain to remember what was great not waas, but as bad. You want to bring toe? Remember what was great? It is interaction and much can improve Not what was that? Because most people who struggle with social confidence is because they focus on all their failures. They're focused on everything that went wrong. Let's say that you approach someone and this person rejects you alot confident person, we say, Oh my God, this person inject me because I'm a loser and they will destroy themselves. And then the confident bested me say, Oh, yeah, I just try to start an interaction with the other person. He doesn't mean I'm a bad person and the other person is not a bad person either. I don't really know. I just try. I know I have value. I know I'm a great person. Let's see how it goes and you see here it's a different approach, the different mindset. That's why you should really focus on what is great and the harbor on that Harmer on what is great Hammer Always focusing with great in any direction, not on what bad. Another way, if you want to become more confident socially is go to a place to social place with a friend and then approach and interact with people with a friend because you know that you have someone here that if there is a problem with the conversation or visa blank, this person can help you, so that can also increase you level off confidence. And also I really encourage you to to a visual ization visualization when you at home and you visualize yourself succeeding socially so you can visualize that you are in a social place and then your approach people and everything goes well. But it has to be about success. You visualize that you can be laying down on your bed, but also before approaching. People have a positive outcome and visualize it going well because there's a big difference . If you think that you want to approach someone and you think that Oh my God, this person is going to reject me You will protect this energy off. My God reject me. But if your approach and then you just visualize before approaching oh, it's going to go well, I'm going to get that from the interaction. Then you just go. You would have hired senses of getting what you want because it would project the energy and the vibe off someone that is successful. And these tricks here are incredibly amazing because their work, just by doing these small changes, it would really boost your social confidence. Now you exercise for today is before interacting with someone, even if it takes a few seconds before you approach someone or interact with someone imagine it going well. Imagine a positive outcome, and just by doing that you will see that it will really increase your social confidence. Then, after, if you want and the bonus, ask yourself the question. What was great in this direction? What was great about me in his direction. And that's how you build that. The social confidence. It's asarco, your focus on what's great. You get more confidence. Then you get more confidence focused on what's going to go circulate. That's great. That's great. If you focus on what you did wrong, you did wrong. You're wrong, you're wrong and you destroy your social confidence. That's how you get social confident. 10. Get Confident To Smile! (+ Exercise): gets confident to smile because you have your smile and it's a really powerful to that you have now. You must know how to use it, because if you know how to use it, it will increase your sense off self confidence. Why? Because then you know that you can approach people and smiling actually is a sign off ones and openess. So it means that you will be confident that you can connect with people and that you can have a great smile. Now, remember last time that you were with someone and that smile at you? Maybe it can be a dirty sex person or someone that had bad intentions, and this person was smiling at you, and I'm sure that you had a negative feeling about that is that the person was smiling, but you had something bad. So now I want to discuss the importance off, smiling the right way there to tax of snipe. The first my is the smile that you do want you when you want people to like you. It's forced, for example, the save man. He smiles because he wants to get something from you. The money and if you smile Just because you want people to like you, you won't be really confident because you will see the direction off off. The other person will be not really positive. And this is what I was doing for many years I wanted everyone to like me so like always smiling in an interaction. And then he destroyed my level of self confidence. So this is the wrong way to do it now. The right way to do it that smiling should be an expressing off yourself. It means that you should want to smile, to express your inner smile and to express your happiness. It means that if you meet someone, you are somewhere You can smile because you want to smile. Not because you want all the person to like you and is the key distinction here now on exercise because I know that most people I coach they're not really comfortable with a smile, and also they don't know how they look. So if they don't know how they look, when they smile, they don't smile. So they don't have this confidence when they want to smile. What they encourage you to do is to go in front of the mirror and then smile. You are alone, your new room, and then you can start smiling and see how you look. See if you prefer to have a big smile or smaller smile, but you should be aware of to smile to that. It would increase your level of self confidence, so I really encourage you to do that today, go in front of the mirror and then try your smile. Try to see the one you like, and then you can use it, and you will be more confident next time that you are somewhere because you know how you look and is the best might have. Also, you should have a good hygiene. It's important. So if you teach a little bit yellow, if you don't really like it, if you can maybe get them fixed. Or maybe when you smile, you don't necessarily need to show your teeth. It's really about finding the smile that suits you 11. Get Confidence To Maintain Eye Contact (+ Exercise): learning to maintain good eye contact is something that is really important because it can really increase your confidence level now. Okay, I know that if you want to maintain good eye contact, it will have a direct link if you are confident and if you have good self esteem, so in the scores will work on your self confidence, self esteem. But now I want to give you the basics and the chiefs the tools in the hacks that you can use if you want, toe, appear more confident and maintain good eye contact. Now let's discuss, why is it important to maintain good eye contact first? If I talk to you and I'm sharing a story and I'm talking to you like that, I might trust Wafi. Do you trust me? Do you have confidence? What is the feeling that you have? You can immediately say that. OK, I'm low confidence, anything that I don't care about you and even that you can see that it's only negative feeling that you have if I don't 19 good eye contact. So that's why it's really important, because we say that the eye contact the eyes are the windows off the south so you can communicate emotions. You can communicate confidence. You can communicate everything you want through eye contact. That's why it's really important Now. You may say, Alan, I'm really not confident at looking people in the Then I would say, OK, there is a cheap that my girlfriend told me, and he's incredible. Instead of looking directly in the eyes, you can look at the eyebrows, and if you look at someone's eyebrows, the other person wants to be able to say, if you're looking directly in the eyes or in the eyebrows. So when my girlfriend said that, I'm sure I can see the difference because there is a treat that say, Okay, look at the point here. And if you look at upon here, you can see that the person is not looking directly in the eye. Now with the ab eyebrows we tried, I say, Okay, you know what? You are going to look me twice in the eyes, and once it will be when you look directly in my eyes and once it will be when you look directly at my Ambrose and I will tell you the difference. I was not able to tell the difference. And this is an amazing trick for you. If you lack self confidence and self esteem and you want to learn to maintain good eye contact, look at the eyebrows. You can try that with friends, and you can see that the results would be amazing to call the person we think that you are maintaining good eye contact. So if you're not really comfortable, maintain eye contact with people. Used the eyebrows. Now, how should you really maintain eye contact? Because if I talk to you and all the time looking at you, I don't blink. I'm just looking at you. It can be creepy. So, Thursday something that you should know it that's way have something that it comes from an LP. It's that when we talk will access different areas off our brain. One is, for example, when you remember picture when you ran the sound when you remember feeling so it means that your eyes will go up down here here. So if I'm talking to you, naturally, I want to just share what happened today. So today I woke up, I woke up at 9 a.m. and I say OK, Today is the day I want to recall. I want to record my own in training and you can see that my eyes are going in directions. But it's something natural because your brain is accessing information that you can share with you. So when you are talking to someone, I would say for 75% of the time, 80%. You can look the person directly in the eyes or the Ibrox, and then you let your eyes wander if they want to go. He access an emotion here, here. So it will be something like that if I'm sharing a store with you. So this morning I woke up and I woke up at 9 a.m. Because I really wanted to create the only training. I wanted to quit the awning training because self confidence is really important, because when I was a child, I was really No, I was not self confidence. You can see here. That's how it should be done. And now, when the other person is talking, you can look directly into the person. I not creepy, but you can just look into the other person's eyes and fully listen to what the other person is saying now, if the person is a little bit uncomfortable, you can just break and it'll be the eye contact by looking on the right on the left. But most of the time you should be looking directly into the other person's eyes. Now the exercise. I would like you to find a friend today and ask your friend, and you can just tell him that you both discourse on you know me and you want to improve your eye contact and try that with your friend. Try that with a friend to see. If you don't think really creepy and just get comfortable, you can do the eyebrows exercise to see that it really works and focus on When you are talking 75% of the time, Look directly into your friend's eyes and then you can look right. You let your eyes wander toe except the information, And then when your friend is talking, you just look at him in the eyes and then he can give you feedback. OK, so good. Not good. And that's how you increase your social kids. Sorry, that's how increase your eye contact skills Now, the more you increase your confidence and self esteem, the easier it will be. So at first it can be really, really weird and uncomfortable. But keep going, Keep pushing. Now, I would like to give you the last advice here on eye contact. If you want to really become good at maintaining eye contact, you can see and say, OK, let's stay again today with everyone I need in a interact, I have to notice their eye color because most of the time when we direct with people, we don't really notice the icon. And by doing that it will force you to look the person directly in. Yet he's an amazing tip. You're looking at the street you just took on the rights left. Hey, this this person is a year. Then you just try to maintain eye contact with this person. You talk with someone at at your office, you can just talk with expresses, Okay? Oh, his eyes is green. Oh, his eyes is blue. And just by doing that, it will naturally make things happen. And you will maintain good eye contact