Mindset Masterclass: How To Cultivate Everlasting Growth | Flo & Felipe | Skillshare

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Mindset Masterclass: How To Cultivate Everlasting Growth

teacher avatar Flo & Felipe, Co-Founders of The Way Factory

Watch this class and thousands more

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Taught by industry leaders & working professionals
Topics include illustration, design, photography, and more

Watch this class and thousands more

Get unlimited access to every class
Taught by industry leaders & working professionals
Topics include illustration, design, photography, and more

Lessons in This Class

11 Lessons (1h 2m)
    • 1. Introduction

      2:02
    • 2. What's success?

      0:53
    • 3. The essential few and the trivial many

      7:12
    • 4. The misconception of work-life balance

      2:22
    • 5. Locus of control

      3:57
    • 6. Let's talk about failure

      6:11
    • 7. How your comfort zone hinders growth

      3:48
    • 8. Limiting beliefs

      11:51
    • 9. About your surroundings

      10:05
    • 10. Asking for help

      9:01
    • 11. Wrapping it up

      4:22
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About This Class

Learn how to develop the mindset you need to achieve your goals and take control of your life.

Some of the critical decisions we make in life, such as our studies, career, lifestyle, family, are not always determined by us but influenced by external factors that we’re not always aware of. 

In this course, we are going to lay the foundations of a mindset that will allow you to live life intentionally, and make decisions that align what you truly want for your life.

In Mindset Masterclass, you will learn how to: 

  • Frame your own definition of success
  • Determine what to allocate your efforts on
  • Choose your surroundings
  • Ask for help
  • Identify and beat your limiting beliefs
  • Make choices according to your own priorities

Whether you’re looking to find out about the importance of your mindset to reach your goals, looking to make powerful changes in your life, interested in learning which type of decisions will serve best your life’s purpose, this class is your chance to develop the mindset you need to be the actor of your choices and the leader of your life.

After taking this class, you will have acquired the knowledge to go after your ambitions, develop resilience, and make choices according to your own desires, all through the power of your mindset!

Resources

Bill Burnett & Dave Evans - Designing Your Life: How To Build A Well-Lived, Joyful Life 

Greg McKeown - Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit Of Less

Julia Cameron - The Artist’s Way 

Simon Sinek - Start With Why 

Carol Dweck - Mindset: Changing The Way You Think To Fulfill Your potential

Meet Your Teacher

Teacher Profile Image

Flo & Felipe

Co-Founders of The Way Factory

Teacher

Hello, we are Florence and Felipe! We are the Co-Founders of The Way Factory.

 We help you build purpose-driven lives by sharing tools and knowledge in the areas of self-development and professional growth. We are neither coaches, nor psychologists, nor therapists. 

 We are in search of well-being, wisdom, peace, and serenity. We are curious about everything that relates to becoming a better version of ourselves and living our lives intentionally.

 We are authentic, spontaneous, empathetic, and in love with discovering new restaurants!  

 

Our personal path has led us to listen to tens of podcasts, read hundreds of books, and watch thousands of videos on personal development, life philosophy, ... See full profile

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Transcripts

1. Introduction: We are all in a personal quest for well-being, satisfaction and achievement. And one of the step to read that is to be in agreement with oneself, is to make choice in our coordinates we owns desire. Did you know that some of the major decision we make in life, whether about career, lifestyle, family, and not always determined by us, but by us, by external factors that we are not always aware of our surroundings inferences. So does a culture we come from, the societal diktat, but also preconceived ideas that can prevent us from achieving a fulfilling life. As a result, we live a life that does not reflect who we are and does not align with our core. Why? Hey, my name is Florence, co-founder of the way factory. We help others be purpose driving live by empowering them with tools and knowledge in the areas of self-development and provisional growth. In this class, we are going to identify the external factors preventing you from reaching your full potential. We will teach you how to cultivate a growth mindset so that you can take power over your life. It is time to deconstruct somewhere you are believe in order for you to build a lab that is aligned with your own definition of success. This class is for you if you're looking to find out about the importance of your mindset in personal and professional success and your interest in learning which type of decisions will serve best your life's purpose. Over the course of this class, you will learn how to frame your own definition of success. What to allocate your efforts on? How to choose your surroundings? Question your limiting beliefs and moral. This will set your mind up for everlasting growth. I'm really exciting to have you here, but let's talk mindset. 2. What's success?: We want to start this part of the course by having common ground when it comes to success. Always it, most people associate success today with money power, accumulation of things, or even Facebook or Instagram followers. But this is not what we understand as success. And here's the things, money for our embed things at all. The problem occurs when this aspect are the main driver for the decision that we make in life. What do we mean when we refer to someone as being successful? Success occurs when who you are, what you believe in and what you do are in complete alignment. 3. The essential few and the trivial many: I want to talk to you about something that I believe is very important towards the realization of your goals, which is called essentialism. It is a term that was popularized by author Greg McCone in his book essentially. So what does that even mean? In three words, less but better, focus on what is truly essential to, you know, matters of pressure from family, friends, colleagues, or society in general. Because when you disperse too much, you lose efficiency and productivity. When your energy is spread across too many activities, you are actually making very little progress. Whereas if you focus on fewer activities, your progress will be much more significant. Instead of making just a niche of progress in a million direction. But all your efforts into few sent instance that truly matter to you and make significant progress that will bring you closer to the realization of your goals. Stop saying yes to everyone and everything. Stopped thinking. You can fit it all and start focusing on making the highest contribution to the things that really matter to you. So please start deleting from your to-do list your 50 priorities. Just what the truly essential to move forward. Fun fact, did you know that the word priority was introduced in the English language in the 14 hundreds and it's only had a singular form. Yes, it was meant for the very first thing at the top of your list that only in the 19 hundreds did we pluralize the term and start talking about priorities? The thing is though, life is actually not about how to get more things done. It is about how to get the right things done. Therefore, focus on the essence of few and forget about the trivial many. Easier said than done, right? I completely get it. Especially in a society like course, that always value's a yes and make us believe that we must know how to greatly manage everything all the time. This is coined the paradox of success, where we have always been encouraged to see yes and sanction When we say no. When paradoxically, in order to be successful, you must concentrate on, on the essential know how to say no, and make choices accordingly. Example of these are Warren Buffett, Bill Gates, INFP turn, Oprah Winfrey, every time you are faced with a decision about whether to say yes or politely declined, ask yourselves the following question. Am I investing in the right activity? Or am I trying to please people? Or do I want to prove to myself that I can handle everything? That will give you the right guidelines to determine whether a decision is consistent to what you consider essential inner life. Still this comes across as a challenging endeavor. Given that society encourages to do what has been accurately described as doing things. We don't have to buy things we don't need. With money, we don't have to impress people. We don't like. Regardless, be true to yourself. Don't live the life that others expect from you. At this point, you might be thinking, but WHO honors? Am I able to achieve more by doing less? Well, I've heard about Pareto's Law. State that 20% of your effort produce 80% of the result. By contrast, few things have a tremendous outcome. This is exactly how you can achieve more while doing less. Focussing on what truly matters. And doing so implies trade-off, which aren't always the easiest things to do. For example, if your essential collides with, let's say going out with one of your friends. You might find yourself feeling awkward when turning down the invitation. Essentialists see tradeoff as an inherent part of life as opposed to an inner handling negative one. Instead of asking, what do I have to give up, they ask, Why do I want to go big on? In my personal experience, I quickly realized that when I tried to do everything, I was often frustrated are the feeling that I was busy but not predictive. And that I, how I always had to split myself between 1 billion things, activity and people. Thankfully, now I have a better understanding of what my priorities are. That is clear, I spend my energy on Wednesdays most meaningful to me. I do less, but better, and it suits me perfectly. I tried to apply quality over quantity in every level of decision in life, well, except for food, because low, both quality and quantity. What I consider to be my essential is my family, my house, the way factory. And I know that as a result, I am less available to shop with friends all day long on a Saturday, for example. It's a choice I fully accept. So now it's your turn to define, prioritize, and focus on what is your essential for that. I invite you to write these few sentences. By doing so, you will be able to make your highest contribution towards the thing that are really meaningful to you. I give myself permission to stop trying to do it all, stop saying yes to everyone and everything, purposely, deliberately choose where to focus my energy and time. And to conclude this, I'm going to ask you to do a little exercise, replace the following assumption. I have to change it for, I choose to. Its solely important. Change it for only a few things really matter. I can do both changed for I can't do anything Bernard, everything, all things to all people. Change it for less but better. What do I have to give a changeed for? What do I want to go big on? Css2? Everything changed for say yes to those things that truly matter. 4. The misconception of work-life balance: Traditionally, the concept has been used to describe these works position with respect to other aspects of our lives. Hope big, small or similarities when compared to laser exercise time with our family and so on. Now lets the concept itself was convinced for the right reasons. Who worked affect other parts of her life. However, when we talk about work-life balance, we inevitably devising them as separate and unrelated instances. How I manage my work-life balance tree, all aware, but there's this theme of work life balance. I get this question about work-life balance. I think it's misleading. I think that notion of work-life balance is a myth, but what I believe in work-life integration, do the exercise yourself. How do you see work? When you think about work, life balance, as it might have happened to you, work-life balance make us think of work as something that you need to squeeze into your shadow, something that you have to ten, rather than something you look forward to, even though the concept is meant to describe XHR conversions of or career and other aspects of life, the way it is actually perceived and proceed, make it's fundamentally wrong for this reason. And the way factory we reject work, life balance and believe that searches thing doesn't exist. And we think you shall do to just think of an average day of an average person in the average work week, sleeping takes you eight hours. Commuting varies tremendously, but let's say it's one hour, cooking and eating, two hours, getting ready to go home, taking a shower, brushing our teeth, getting ready to go to bed, two hours, funnily, working eight hours on average in good day. That's total to 21 hours, which slivers with only three to spare. So No, you don't balance work and life. Work is life. And you better spend living your life doing something that won't bring any regrets when you are in your deathbed. 5. Locus of control: Locus of control is a term that comes from personality psychology. And it's used to describe the degree to which people believed as a control whatever happens in the light the world, Lucas comes from Latin and means place or location. So locus of control refers to your own perception of where you are when it comes to assessing hope controllable, or certain situations is locus of control is a spectrum with two ends. Xml, internal instance in life that we can classify is within or outside your scope of control. A person with an external locus of control is characterized for attributing a necessary constant sense in the life to events that they cannot influence for any outcome of their life. Is they blame the weather, leg, fate as non market, global economy or even my grandma, anything that they cannot know or rationally explained is a felon exam because they were unlucky enough to get the exact question that they hadn't prepared for. If they are cooking something in the food ends up not tasting very good. It was due to the faulty equipment that we're using and so on. And no, I never use that excuse when I created my friends. On the other end, or person with an internal locus of control is known for believing desert main cause of everything that's going on in their life to make a parallel with an external locus of control. The weather pouring the clothes comes down to them, not being able to have an umbrella in the global economy. Crises running, making them lou the job's CMS them to them not being able to anticipate certain obvious outcome, and so on. So why am I even telling you all this? Well, your perception of who merge, you can influence the outcomes of your life, may have a huge impact on the realization of vehicle. If you see you can't build a meaningful career, you might as well not try at all. Similarly, if you think that everything that happens in your life is your fault, you may be overwhelmed by the adversity and become less resilient. Extremes are harmful, usually have a healthy mix of internal and external locus of control is the ability to do so. Comes down to three things. Discerning what you really can and cannot control. Focusing on the aspect that you can control. Having a positive attitude when it comes to things you cannot control. To identify what are the instance that you are able to control. Ask yourself the following question. If I put all of my efforts into it, will the outcome be different? If on the other end, I did, absolutely nothing. Will the outcome be different? Moody's externally affects others the same way it will affect me. Once you are able to identify what you can objectively control or not, you will be able to direct your efforts toward the aspect of life that you are evolved to influence. Using principles of essentialist to focus on the essential and eliminate the risk. You will see that your output will be better and you will have a more positive perception of your position and direction in life, which will be critical factor for success. 6. Let's talk about failure: We come to such a crucial subjects, failure. What I want here is for you to change your definition of failure, to change your mindset. First, real filler is not trying. Filler is not about not succeeding. Failure is about not trying. Failure is something we can avoid only BY thing, nothing, doing nothing and trying nothing. I'm gonna tell you a story. There is a failure in my life that has marked me. It may seem insignificant because the consequences where a non-existent. However, I was 13 years old and I still remember it so that it impact me. It was the election of the class representatives and I wanted to be a class representative and my friend encouraged me to work, but I was so afraid not to be elected. So Fred, that no time My name will appear. So afraid of these humiliation that i didn't run at all. And that's a failure. Filler would not have been not being elected. No. Failure. The real is not having had the courage to their failure, is not having presented myself for fear of losing. But by doing that, I had already lost every time I have to feed choice. I think back to that moment and the regret I have never choose. Regret over fear. Fear last moments. Regret lasts for years, never 2s and happiness over our certainty. And you do you have any regrets about not acting out of fear of failure, you them to avoid repeating this action. Second, failure is a process only those who dare to feel greatly can either achieve greatly. Robert F. Kennedy, once, 1009 times the number of results colonists sender received for his fried chicken recipe, 5,126 times the number of prototypes Jedi isn't created before he was a bold to create his vacuum cleaner. 10 thousand times the number of attempts before Edison creates an electric bulb. Michael Jordan as say that he missed more than 99 thousand showed in his carrier load 300 games. These eight have failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed. There filler was actually the process for their success. Stumbling only means as success is under making, filler is a foundation of success. They miss a couple of times, but they persevere. Babies before the walk. They stumble again and again and again until they succeed. Fortunately, they don't stop trying just after the first tumble. Or otherwise, we will be calling right now. All along either process is there have been developing something positive. Psychology's, Angela Duckworth's called perseverance or grid. And actually her studio on grit and self-control demonstrate that greed is a better measure of potential success and IQ, perseverance and resilience is a key to reach success. Third, develop constructive vision of filler. Filler is an inherent aspect of life. What is important is how you PC failure. We must have a constructive vision of bits and not as destructing vision of it. I love this so famous sentence from Mandela that say, I never lose either a win or learn any so true, we necessarily rarely learn from a failure, whether it's relationships or a work of friendship. When we break up, of course it is painful, but at some point on the way we get something out of it, we learn about ourselves. We evolve with question ourselves, we progress with grow. Filler is a source of learning. And so if it's a source of learning, is it really a filler? Failure are part of life. If you have never failed, never learn. If you have never learned, you will never change, you will never grow. I had to wait until my first year of law school to realize that I didn't want it to be a lawyer. So may I have though I had notes for years and it was a complete failure, but that's no wifi. So I learned a lot during this four years. I proved to myself that I was able to succeed in demanding study. I'm a great friends and prove that I was able to question a well established pass. So no, it's not a failure. It's up to you to adopt the right attitude, to accept that it's part of the game, is up to you to choose whether you want to see the glass half full or half hand. To consider failure as a disaster, or on the contrary, as a learning experience and an opportunity. It is a failure that allow us to adjust our compiles to change direction. So burst, the best opportunity for learning from when we face adversity sinc of fillers, you have experienced a situation that you consider as filler and ask yourself these three questions. What did I learn from this situation? How can I grow as a person from this experience? What are the positive things about this situation? I know that is a difficult exercise because when we fail, we just tend to see the negative. But makes year for annual C that you are necessarily got something out of it. 7. How your comfort zone hinders growth: Your comfort zone is instead of my in which everything surrounding you feels familiar, which give you the perception that you are in control of your environment. Therefore, filling or distress a familiar environment cause LA, level of anxiety because you're in a position in which you can predict outcomes that affects your physical and mental integrity. That the old point of you feeling comfort, predictability, sink of the neighborhood in which you live. If you have been there for longer than six months, you are most likely to feel completely comfortable. And that is because, you know, the route to get there, the kind of people who live there, they probably speak the language you speak and behave in a way that is similar to yours. By contrast, let's suppose that you just move to a country where you don't speak the language, you don't know anybody and pretty much everything is unknown to you. What the most likely feeling you will, you will experience this con, for all the uncertainty that you will be facing in such a situation, will create high level of stress and anxiety because you are no longer able to predict the outcome of the dynamics of your surroundings. This one's quite an extreme example that I am intentionally bringing up to make my point. But discomfort is also experienced when you do something you have never done before, go through a difficult situation or experience, anything that is out of order you are used to so that your comfort zone and what happened at the psychological level when you get out of it. And from a biological standpoint that makes total sense of brain is wired to turn on its survival mechanisms. And when placed in an environment in which anything can happen and we don't have a clue of might connect. However, regardless of the street that cause exposing yourself to unpredictable situations, seeking discomfort is something you should set yourself to proceed for the rest of your life. See, when you exceed the limit of your comfort zone, you will be in the face of complexity, which is nothing. But I know that you don't yet know. And in that place and only there in which you'll be able to learn, grow, and ultimately extended early, mid, or what is known to you. Let me stress that point. Growth only occurs when you are uncertain situation that naturally cause discomfort. The opposite cause stagnation and hinders your ability to get closer to your ideal state. It is only when you experience the unknown that you can test the limit of your ability, learn the complexity that you are facing an ultimately acquire skills and wisdom that wouldn't be otherwise achieved. And the most interesting part of working your way towards fear and discomfort. Once something becomes part of your comfort zone, you realize that there were no foundation to be afraid in the first place. So bad things in life are on the other side of fear. You can't conquer new territories without even leaving your chores. So get out there and challenge yourself. Seek discomfort because it's not uncertainty that should fear the most. Instead, it should be your own willingness to accept and seek situation that although you to grow. 8. Limiting beliefs: One of the obstacles in your way to achieving your goals is linked to what is called limiting beliefs. And I am so happy to talk to you about this because I used to have lots of limiting beliefs. There were so much a part of me, like a second skin that I was not even aware of. However, this belief hindered many of my desires, ideas, and action. I was self-censoring, self-limiting because of these limiting beliefs. It took me a long time to realize this. And the purpose of this chapter is to save your time in the help you reach your full potential beyond your limiting beliefs. But what is exactly a belief? A belief is an idea that is so deeply integrate in our minds that it has become a conviction, a certainty that influence our behavior will give you a very concrete. And the example. All my childhood, my mother used to add half a tablet of better into PASA. She will say that it was a right and only way to make pasta. That otherwise it wasn't good. And I was convinced 100% that it was hole we make pasta and that I wouldn't be able to make good pass out without a half a tablet of better. Our Sure, I own the truth. Convinced that by stock will only be coke like this. I saw was right and other were wrong when there were no very feeble, indisputable facts that say that passed out was meant to be cooked like this. So i didn't hold the truth, but I was convinced a held a truce. It was a belief. A belief is not a fact. As Julia Cameron says, in the way, the Earth has never been flat, despite everyone's conviction before it's actually shaped was discovered. The problem is when these sorts, these beliefs turn into limiting beliefs. What is a limiting belief? A limiting belief is a negative. So that has been heard in your environment and all created by yourself. Limiting beliefs are built through education, culture value, experience, environment, media, publicity they come from or parent or teacher relatives. These beliefs without real foundation, without being factually bays and indisputable becomes subjective certainties. For example, making a mistake is a failure. For example, if I am not 6.5 fetal or two meters, I can never be a basketball champion. For example, vulnerability is a sign of weakness. Hou Zai can harm your life. What you experience is a consequence of the feeling you have cultivated in yourself because the world around you is a reflection of your soap. It is from or belief. You know, our ability or disability that we tracked, or strength or weakness, you are what you believe yourself to be. So if you keep repeating to yourself that you can't do it, that you don't deserve it, that you bad, that you don't have the qualities needed, you will be unlikely to reach your idle state. These limiting beliefs can prevent you from tipping into your full potential. Self-limiting beliefs, assumptions that you have about yourself. And these assumptions are self-limiting because they are holding you from achieving what you are capable of. There are nether proven facts, no truth or reality. We'll give you an example a little deeper than the story of how burger in the pesto. I always had a limiting belief that I wasn't creative. Since believe was deeply rooted in me. I used to spend my time seeing how incredible was how bad I was in everything related to, to the arts. And he generated a lot of consonants, especially related to the question of the way factory. By then, I had never heard about limiting beliefs. So I was terrified that the design of the blog would buy that I couldn't find pretty colors that much well, and it will actually sinks to Philippe that I there where I get this limiting beliefs from. In middle school, some students told me that I was valid Arts and not creative. And that became a limiting belief. And so I will try to find ways to reinforce that believed that I was not creative. It become a vicious circle. In psychology. This is called the conformation BIA, which consists of favoring information that confirms our preconceived idea, which is very practical to always be right. And no matter what people tell you, even if they reassure you, as long as you are not aware of this limiting beliefs, you want overcome them. I remember in business school, we have done a pretty thorough personality tests. The results highlight my creative side. And I told the teacher that they had to be a mistake because our not creative at all, that the test was fake. When I think about it, I've always loved writing poem, dancing, theatre in shirt alike, so-called artistic activities. But my conviction was so strong that I couldn't admit it. The belief that we internalize can be very powerful and harmful. And even when we encounter new information or explanation that refuted, we often hang on them as hard as we can. So how do we do to overcome limiting belief? I'm gonna ask you to grab a sheet of paper and to do the following exercise. I will share a seven question technique to help you identify limiting beliefs. First of all, to overcome your limiting belief, it is necessary to be aware of them. There are often formulated as evidence or generalities such as always, never everyone. Every time I'm too much, I'm not enough. Oh, nobody, for example, on never lucky. Make a list of your belief in the following areas. Financial relationships, self-esteem, Work, Success. The idea here is for you to become aware of your negative convictions to better undermine them. Third, ask yourself, if you're absolutely certain that these statements are true. Are they 100% undeniable facts for us? Find evidence that invalidates them. Exam, I'm six feet tall. My parents told me I could never be a professional basketball player. Counter evidence that invalidated them. Island universal. Tony Parker, example. Your degree determines your career. Counter evidence. Three cars of all college grads don't end up working in a career related to their majors example. I don't have enough experience qualification to launch a company. Well, I'm not sure that I was 19 years old. Mike Zukin Berg out a lot of experience while launching Facebook. In this five-step, find out where these beliefs come from. Do they come from? Your parents, teacher, fearful relatives. Have your parents told you repeatedly that you will never be an artist and earn money, or that you were really bad in math. Where are not born with limiting belief is, is settled down with time. And very often because of external people. Here, you have to play Sherlock Holmes. And this is often the most difficult are part because it requires digging into your memories. And let's face it, it's sometimes people, but it is as painful as it is necessary. I spent a lot of time realizing where my creative block cache can from. It required me a real introspection, but the work is worse. It, I'm telling six, ask yourself, Are they expert on the subject? You will realize that these people are nether expert on the subject, nor in your head, nor in your heart. Under no circumstances met their opinion. So on Mercury has a right to impact your desire and wishes and to prevent you from daring or acting. Always challenge their assumptions and build your own opinion. What the jury duty syncs either right way may not be your way. With this exercise. You will become aware of this limiting belief. And from the moment you are aware of them, you will be able to destroy them. Once we have destroyed or limiting belief, it is motivating to write when I call or empowering beliefs. Last step, creating empowering beliefs. We are what we speak. The right words can transform your reality. Actually are going to study led by undoing new Berg and mark over Waldman. Words can literally change your brain, a well-being or state of mind in the MOOC, words can change your brain. Is, is it a single world as a poor to influence the expression of genes that regulate physical and emotional stress. Using the right words controls form or reality. Therefore, it is great to write positive statement that will serve you instead of topping you to quit believed that will become your ally and not your jailer. Visualize what you want to start your sentences with. I am. Use the present tense and the positive formulation. Example. I am committed to creating a path in alignment with my desire. I am willing to overcome limiting beliefs. I am determined to have a job in alignment with who I am and what I want. Adverts. This exercise may make you feel uncomfortable. As it made me uncomfortable. I was kinda filling potentials. Indeed, we are great at helping to denigrate AS much less to value us. And yet that is what I asked you to do. I managed to do it and it has a great impact on me, is a journey that requires patience and perseverance we have to fight against or inner voice. I can do it. I'm not at the level pasta is with better, but determinations pays off. And as you go along, you will see that you will become more positive. And that's your action at the end with change, being aware of your limiting beliefs, destroying them and replacing them with empowering believe is an essential step to daring and unleashing your full potential. 9. About your surroundings: Our goal at the wave factory is to help you embark on a fulfilling career that meets your personal and professional aspirations. And two answers his quest. One of the subjects that are fundamental in the importance of your surroundings. But most of all, the importance of being well surrounded. When we think about the determining factors of success, what spontaneously comes to mind is work, perseverance, consistency, and other individual attributes. Though they are crucial, there is another key factor surrounding yourself with the right people. Those who are close to you will be crucial when it comes to achieving your goals. But first, let's have some common ground on what surroundings are your family, friends, co-workers, or neighbors, several groups of people that you interact with on a constant basis. Jorja surroundings can lead you to success or dou mu for good. You have probably heard that famous sentence. You are the average of the five people you spend the most time widths. Indeed, students have shown that we are very much influenced by our environment. The first major study on the impact of social influence was conducted by Nikola Krista keys and Jim folder. Researchers from Harvard Medical School and the University of California, they found that if your friends smoke, you are 61% more likely to be a smoker yourself. And if a friend of your friends smokes us, still 29% more likely to smoke. Choose the environment that will best bring you closer to your objectives. Other people around you leading you to success? Or are they holding you back? The American Society of training and development did a study on the impact of accountability in the achievement of a goal and foam that you have a sixty-five percent change of completing a goal if you commit to someone and if you make that person follow-up on your progress on a regular basis, say every week, you will increase your chance of success by up to 95%. Crazy, right? Here's another interesting students, nicholas Christakis and Jim folds from that happy friends make you happier. When an individual become happy, a friend living within a mile experience a twenty-five percent increase in the chance of becoming happy as well. And this is probably related to these so-called mirror neurons. We adapt our behavior according to our surroundings. So if we're surrounding by negative energy, we will also be negative. Whereas if we meet positive, enthusiastic people, we will adopt a behavior or brand will try to synchronize with errors. It is called. Emotional contagion. As social spaces, we are weird to absorb everything around us. Whereas pond of filling and behaviors. As such, you only need one person to transform the dart into light, to duped into conviction, the fear into courage. Pen time with people who share your goal, Desire, and Interest. Hangout with those that are aligned with your life project. And we'll pull you in the face of adversity. Always people who will support your choice to pursue your dreams, rather than Zeus who judge you for focusing on what's essential. I'm not asking you to cut all of the people who do not share the same interests. But be careful not to let yourself be drawn into activity that will divert you from your objectives. You have seen, you have just seen Homer that can influence you. At this point, you might be thinking, while flow I get the points, stick with positive surroundings and stay away from harmful ones. But as this and hole can I better identify them so I can do something about it? Is it can be jealous of bitter people. The people who see you as a companion of failure rather than as a figure of success. The idea that you can realize your dream and reach your goal and know them. It's sad really is true. Harmful people bring out their fear, frustration, and regrets on new. Stay away from z. It's impossible, it will never work. You are going straight into the wall, you will regret it. They also can be the people who are constantly negative, pessimistic and will transmit the negativity to you. People who complain a lot and never questions themselves, but always blame other or external element or use the famous limiting belief, are never lucky. There is always a problem. In shirt. Nothing is never good and they are never satisfied. They are often very critical of any innovation initiative. And even before you tell them about your project, they will make discouraging where Marx, of course, we all get negative sometime middle First. We all complain when we queue at the supermarket. Let's not get into that discussion, but limit your interaction with people who, whose content is to complain about everything, anything, and who empty their frustration back on you. You need to distinguish between spontaneous and evergreen negativity. So how do you identify a harmful people that are good? Question, first, follow the physical and psychological signal. Listen to your intuition. Albert Einstein said, I believe in intuitions and in spirit. I sometimes feel that I am right. I do not know that I am, I believe is right. And not only because these Albert Einstein, but I really believe that intuition is your internal compass, your internal alarm, or your Greenlight offend their physical signs that do not misled. You Mel feel. Pain in your stomach or wedding your chest. Or you might feel oppressed or harmful environment generates anxiety and stress. You do not feel free to be herself to express your feelings. Ask yourself this question. Who is pulling me up? Who makes me grew up? Who is draining my energy. There are people who energize us, and there people would drain all of our energy from us. Second, the verbal sign, humbled people can address you with destructive criticism. They make insinuation that can hurt. They are often sarcastic and hide harmful comments in the form of jokes. For example, is the friend or relative who say, you don't honestly think you have a chance to get into this cool, do you then even apply, you know, it's for you. I don't want you to be disappointed afterwards. If you accept the permission, people are going to talk trash about you. You should think about it twice. And I just wonder colored black. I'm not asking you to surround yourself only with people who agree to everything you say is not a diktat. You're listening to different perspective is great. The contradiction, the questioning is necessary, but there is a nuance. So in between, constructive criticism because of personal wants you to succeed, and destructive criticism because a person wants to fail. Often in their destructive criticism, they make you believe it's for your own good. Yeah, it's kind of cool manipulation. So be aware of that and stop limiting yourself. To conclude this lesson, I want to, I want to highlight once again how crucial it is in your progress, success, happiness to surround yourself with Benny violence. Positive people who truly care about you and wants the best for you, run away from bad influence, it is your responsibility to say, no. It may not be obvious because of our fear of exclusion of judgment. And yet it will be decisive in the achievement of your goals. The famous Oprah Winfrey said, surround yourself only with people who are going to live to hire some of your surroundings will pull you affords with expertise, success, talent, network, leadership, and some other will pull you apart with a support encouragment, kinase, reliability and some bows. Never sympathized with people out of pure interests. Never have narrow and utilitarian vision of the relationships, but never stay with people out of pure fear or guilt. It is your responsibility to choose who we let you bill comes a person you want to remember that you do have choice. 10. Asking for help: Asking for help is an essential factor for success as a social spaces were built to three, when collaborating in groups, whether that's to people or when doing so on a global scale, when we work together without a better Golden she faster and the outcome of a collective contributions calls personal satisfaction. For everyone involved. Help is crucial due to the following factors. First, we just can't do it all. I think we have all heard the phrase, nothing is impossible. I will tell you what doing it. Oh, we just can't do everything on our own and that's where hubs come handy. It can prevent us from feeling exhausted, overwhelm, or frustrated because of a lack of progress. Asking for help is a way of taking care of ourselves too. It contributes to avoiding the vicious circle of exhaustion and frustration through collaboration. By doing so, you'll be able to focus on what's essential to you, will feel better, more energized, and will ultimately leads you to perform better. And this leads me to the next item. Asking for helps lead to better outcome. The grid work study conducted by OC tenor and study showed that 70% of people who receive recognition for the work, usually as for advice, help, and feedback from people outside their inner circle. In doing so, they generate fresh ideas and perspective on how to solve problems that they wouldn't have otherwise. Device is a famous to mine. Sing Better than one's. Asking for help is also a way of showing appreciation to others. Asking for help is a way of showing people that you true their ideas and make them feel competent in their skills. Doing so create a deeper level of truth. It creates a mutual appreciation and straighten your relationship with other, helping bring benefit to the one giving it as well. When you help someone, you feel very good about it, right? It's pretty much the same for them. Yet oftentimes will emit herself to doing everything on our own, hoping that we can manage and that everything will be OK. We tried to convince yourself that help is needed or that won't be willing to extend the hand despite all the evidence backing up the opposite. Why do we try to avoid what will end up being or benefits? Here are the most common reasons as well. A y there and funded limiting belief. First, because of our ego or embarrassment, we have the misconception that asking for help is a sign of weakness. And therefore end up being afraid of looking imperfect or with fear of judgment from other. We might also feel embarrassment because it will imply that we are admitting defeat and need other widens our expertise to get spicy obstacle we have in front of us. This naturally caused distress characteristic of, let's say, humiliating situations. But nothing could be further from the truth. It's actually quite the opposite. Having the courage to open yourself up to other, and that means that a hand will be beneficial. Takes far more strength than just remaining silent and tried to convince yourself that you make it happen by yourself. And you might as well be right. But if collaboration can lead you to a better and faster desirable outcome, why not doing so in the first place? Determining that asking for help is the best decision reflects your power to go through difficult task or situation using the best available option. We don't ask for help also because of fear of rejection. We all hate rejection and try to avoid it as much as possible. Asking for help is not exception in the face of putting yourself in a situation where the poor of saying no to us or internal alarm go off with the hopes of ten meters away from the possibility. And to be honest, that's an understandable concern. Nobody especially enjoy being rejected. But the way it should be perceived when requiring health is another one of the possibility that my envoy manifest rejection is unavoidable, but we cannot let our fear for it overdose from seeking help. We all controlling it. Nothing he help for fear of being rejected is pretty much like leaving for being afraid of dying. So go home, embrace rejection as abusive scenario and ask for help. Seriously. What the worst thing that can happen? There is another factor why we don was asked for help. Because we don't want to be beholden. Sometimes we hate filling in the position that we have committed to something in the future that we don't know the details about. This is what happened when we think of asking for help as some sort of boot Covenant we are entering into, which is something that only exists in your mind. This limiting belief hold the Hadean pre-made that people agree to have with the hopes of getting a favorite back in the future. Though, this is certainly true in some case. And yes, I say sadly, because have should be borne out of kindness and of interests. But you need to keep in mind that isn't always what will happen if you receive from someone else and if the person had been you those expected favor in return, please give back, not because you are beholden, but because you are truly inspired to help with these interests, if you are hired and remember that you are in control of your life and you have the option of saying no to the thing that aren't essential to you. We don't always ask for help because we don't want to bother. If we're the kind of person that thinks about the other more than you think about yourself, you may feel identify with this situation. I know what I'm talking about. Embraced by the four that will Intel for the others giving us a nd, we immediately reject the help option. Two, a vote to munching convenience. One of those feeling like asking for help entails far too much effort folders, but is always worse than it seems, and heats worse. Bringing up a quote from Seneca, alloys nickel, we suffer more imagination than in reality. If you are a person who thinks more about the other and you think about Joseph, I assure you that people with seed and we'll be happy to give you an Whenever you required. Remember that everything is much harder if we decide to do everything on our own. Be wise enough to determine that is a best possible decision. Now we'll give you a very punctual example. While preparing the material for this course, I was struggling a lot with structuring the idea that I wanted to convey for this particular item, asking for help, I had put a lot of soap and a lot of a for Intuit and I couldn't come with a current or a line. I didn't know I wanted to ask Philippe for help because he was already very busy preparing the material as well, and I just didn't want him to know him. But I finally admitted that have cool come handy and in an afternoon, actually not an inconvenience for him at all. He gave me the hand that are needed so desperately. And he have Mr. Jim, I thought for this part of the course, I can tell you that it will have definitely taking me far longer intervals. It would have been not as resourceful if I didn't ask him. So I'm really glad added. So there you have it. I hope you are convinced about WHO ation shall have these for you to succeed. And that you're aren't afraid of asking for it. You'll be really glad you go to when you needed it.