How to Manage your Emotions: Developing Coping Skills | Jessica Pringle | Skillshare

How to Manage your Emotions: Developing Coping Skills

Jessica Pringle, Growth not Perfection

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7 Lessons (30m) View My Notes
    • 1. Intro to Emotional Management

      0:51
    • 2. Learning How to Work Through your Emotions

      1:56
    • 3. How to Identify when you Displace Anger

      5:07
    • 4. How to Help Yourself Through Sadness

      3:14
    • 5. Learning How to Manage your Anxiety

      10:38
    • 6. Coping Methods to Try when Things Get Tough

      5:47
    • 7. Final Thoughts

      2:53
26 students are watching this class

About This Class

Learn how to manage your emotions and discover new coping methods to try to get your brain back to clear and calm. Do you struggle with emotional overloads or feeling like your emotions can get the best of you? This class is for you. Jess has struggled with her own emotional imbalances and reoccurring depression and sadness but through therapy and compiling her own methods she has created classes to help herself and others manage their adult lives. 

In this class you'll learn:
- How to prevent emotional overloads
- How to work through your emotions
- Identifying when you displace anger
- How to help yourself through sadness
- Learning how to manage your anxiety
- Coping methods to try when things get tough

You can keep up with Jess on her youtube channel https://www.youtube.com/ or her Instagram @intro.to.adulthood for self care content and personal updates. 

Transcripts

1. Intro to Emotional Management: Hi, I'm Jess and this is my page intro to adulthood. Everybody is welcome here because I believe that we all continue to learn no matter what age we are. And we can continue to learn from each other and from ourselves, no matter where we're at. In our current situation, today's class is going to be learning about how to manage our emotions and learning some coping skills to bring us back to a calm and clear mind. In this class, we're gonna be talking about how we assess and work through our emotions specifically anger , anxiety and sadness. And I'm also giving you some coping methods to try as well. Managing our emotional health is really important for ourselves and all of the people around us, so let's get started. 2. Learning How to Work Through your Emotions: So today we're gonna be talking about trying. Teoh sold your emotions, which I'm kind of a bad person for this. Um, when you have anger and anxiety and feelings like that, um, it can be hard to not try to solve the emotion instead of feel the emotion. Um, for me, if I get angry, I get embarrassed that I'm angry, and then I try to just not be angry, Um, very angrily. So it doesn't really work out for me. But if I take the time and let myself be angry, then it kind of is easier to let go of the emotion because I've have sort of validated myself in a way to say it's okay to be angry. You know, you're allowed to be a human that has emotions as long as you're not taking it out on somebody else. Feeling your emotions, even when they're bad ones, can give you a lot of insight into how you work and how you cope with things. So give yourself the freedom to feel all emotions. Just don't dwell in them. The pressure to solve a problem that can't really be solved can be really breaking and can cause you to spiral even more. So try and take more time to be at peace with any emotion that you have and allow yourself to really feel through it. I've just been personally struggling with this a lot, so I figured I'd make a video about it. Um, hopefully it helps you guys and for anybody that already knows this, Um, I guess it's just a reminder. 3. How to Identify when you Displace Anger: today, we're gonna be talking about displaced anger, which, if you don't know what a displaced feeling is, it's when you feel something in yourself. But you end up taking it out on somebody else, which I sometimes do, as we all do. For me, it's usually anger. If I feel angry and overwhelmed, then a lot of the time my first instinct will be OK who pissed me off. You know who's making me angry instead of looking at myself and going okay, what is making me angry and what's making me feel this way externally, instead of thinking somebody is making me feel this way, learning how to separate yourself from the situation and asking yourself what the root cause of your anger is will help you to realize when you're blaming others for your emotions. An easy example is if you are running late and you have to stop at this door and grab something like milk. But the person in front of you wants to take their time and go through their change purse and find the exact change for whatever it is they're buying. You're upset with the person in front of you for taking up your time. That's what it seems like anyways, what you're really upset with is the fact that you don't have enough time to do the thing that you need to do. The upset feeling comes from you and not from somebody else trying to upset you. Say the man in the line doesn't really upset you. But later on you get a call from a boyfriend, girlfriend or from your mom and they say something that it's just kind of dumb and it makes you mad and you explode on them. This is another way of displacing your anger, the frustrated feelings that you had earlier in the day about, you know, not managing time properly and coming out on another person because they just made a quick mistake. If you notice that a lot of your anger comes from time management or from interacting with other people, um, make sure that you schedule more time into your day to get things done, whether that's running to the store or spending more time with a co worker to explain things or talking to your kids or a family member and explaining to them how to do something trying not to get worried about your timeline compared to how long things were taking can be really important when learning not to displace your anger. Take action to relieve stress from yourself ahead of time. For example, if you see you need gas, don't tell yourself you're gonna get some in the morning before work. Help yourself out and relieve some stress earlier on so that things don't catch up to you in a way where you may end up being angry with somebody else. When really you should have just figured out a way to make sure you could get everything done that you needed. Teoh. Always make sure to apologize to the people that get your displaced anger. It's not their fault that you have emotions that aren't really controlled, so make sure that they know that it's not their fault that you were upset. Also, make sure to forgive yourself because everybody's human. Everybody has emotions, and we all have to learn how to handle the hard ones for me. If I'm feeling angry, I try to retreat and sit alone and really assess okay if I take the person that I'm angry with out of the equation, and they weren't here. Why would I be angry if nobody else was here and it was just me? Why am I upset? And usually that's the way that I can figure out. OK, you know, it's not that so and so did this to me at work. Um, it's because I didn't end up getting the things done that I wanted to after work yesterday . So now I feel stressed out about when I go home from work today that I have to fit everything in after work. And I'm taking it out on somebody because I just feel overwhelmed and being able to identify that before you explode on. Somebody is so helpful for them and for you, because then you don't feel embarrassed for having an emotional explosion, and you feel a little bit more self aware, like you can control the way that your body reacts to things and you could make sure that nobody else ends up feeling bad just because you're feeling bad. Hopefully, this will help you guys identify how to not get angry at other people when really you're just angry with yourself because I know that I do that, and I know a lot of other people do, too. So be patient, forgive yourself and you'll be able to learn 4. How to Help Yourself Through Sadness: first and foremost, feeling sad is normal, and everybody feels sad at some time. But making sure that we have a pathway out of our sadness can be really, really important. I've personally struggled with recurring depression and sadness, and I've found that the best way to deal with re occurring sadness is learning how to be grateful. When I was suicidal in 2015 my therapist taught me that I needed to write down everything that I was grateful for, no matter how small and an example of really small things that can make people really grateful are. Maybe your coffee order didn't get ruined when you went and picked up a coffee this morning or you had one more TV dinner, and that way you didn't have to make dinner, and it just give you a little bit more peace by seeking out the happiness and the things you're grateful for in your everyday life and in your very close surroundings, it can create a new path for you instead of being stuck on the roundabout. That sadness can cause for us. For me. In 2016 I was convinced that no more happy days were coming there was no way I was gonna find a way out of my sadness. And I did start doing the things my therapist asked me to. Dio and I wrote down all the things that made me happy. Or, you know, the incidental coincidence things that Oh, at least I got every green light on my way to work, You know, little things. And one day my mind changed because for me, the little thing that broke my my thought pattern waas Animal Planet was free for the month . And I got to watch the Once Minster Dog Show, which is something small a free subscription to a TV service for one month. Andi, I happen to get to see one of my favorite shows, and I wrote it down, and I just remember being so happy and so grateful. And I hadn't felt that way in a really long time. Something as small as being grateful for a free trial to the TV station. I want to watch. It changed my outlook, and I know it can change yours too. So get yourself a small notebook and write down all of the things that you are humbled that you have and start predicting that good things happen just because instead of thinking that bad things happen and they're bound to come because a positive outlook can really change a lot of things in our lives and it may sound like who we to a lot of us, but I promise start practicing and start writing down the things that you're happy about that you're grateful for and see how your outlook starts to change. 5. Learning How to Manage your Anxiety: today, we're gonna be talking about how to identify anxiety and what to really do when anxiety kind of takes over and you feel like you have about this much room before you're gonna just drowned. In all of your worries, I felt anxiety for a really long time. Um, I think I started feeling anxiety. Um, when I was really young because my mom traveled a lot when I was a kid, Uh, she would be gone, you know, sometimes two weeks at a time for for work. And, you know, she would go on really long trips across the world, which was really cool, but also really scary when you're little. So I remember feeling really worried and really anxious Set a really young age. Um, but I didn't really know, you know, that I was feeling that way as I grew up, um, I started to identify my anxiety a little bit better. Um, but I made friends that also had anxiety. So we all just, you know, agreed upon the fact that oh, man, I feel that way too. But none of us really knew how to handle it. And how to, you know, move forward. So for the people that don't have anxiety, Um, it can kind of be hard to understand. I had to explain to my mom what anxiety waas for me. And then when she thought on it, she was able to identify that feeling in herself. I think everybody has a different way to define what anxiety feels like for them. So I'll give you a few examples that, you know, I gave to my mom, um, to give her some some clarity into, like what it felt like standing in my shoes, waiting at a doctor's office. If you don't know what kind of tests you need to get or, you know, thinking you have to get a shot that could be really anxiety driving for people. It makes me feel like all of the walls around me are coming in really, really close. Or like I'm in a really, really crowded place. And it's hard for me to move between people. And I can feel like I am super aware of everything around me. It's like my brain goes into fight or flight mode, you know? Am I gonna be hurt? Am I going to run away? You know my mom explained that for her, it feels like if she was standing on the train tracks and there's a train coming, but she can't move. And I thought, That's funny because I feel like I'm swimming and what I'm swimming. It's like suddenly I don't have any floaties and the water is rising and rising and rising . So for everybody, it's It sort of manifests differently as this panic, this response to change what you're doing or stop and freeze if you bounce your leg. If you bite the sides of your nails and fight the insides of your lip like I do, that can also be your anxiety trying to come out. Anxiety can kind of feel like good things. In a way, um, if you ever think about standing on top of a really high diving board and that sense of tightness that you feel in your body before you make the decision to jump, that's is that sort of panic that you don't really need to be feeling and in everyday situation. But your brain triggers that sort of panic, that fight or flight for different reasons and for everybody you know, they have different triggers that make them go into anxiety identifying first. That's how I'm feeling and it's okay that I'm in a panic because I'm not unsafe. I'm in a place where my panic is going to be able to be managed because I am at home or I am, you know, at work or in my car or wherever you are. Identify first how you're feeling. Second, identify where am I? And give yourself a little bit of room to create an idea of calm. No matter where you are in your brain, think about creating a small space in there where it's OK. The rest of the world can't get in because I have my place of peace and my place of understanding that even if I'm in panic now, it won't last forever. And I have the tools to make sure that I can figure out how to handle this situation, if not right now in the future, with help from friends and from family. And remembering that I'm not alone in a situation can also really help me dull that sense of sharp panic that comes in. Sometimes it can push you to be extremely focused on something and not be able to let something go. Or sometimes it feels like you just can't find any focus at all, because there's too many things going on and these air all anxiety. But they just present themselves in different ways. Depending on what situation you're in now. I'm no trained doctor. I have not gone to any sort of, um, self help seminars or anything like that. So a lot of my how to help yourself is from my own experience. So I'd like to give you guys, um, an app, actually, that I just tried out. I heard about it a little while ago. It's called calm harm. And even if you don't self harm when you're in anxiety and in depression, it can really help you Kind of dull that sense of dread that I was talking about. Um, I'm gonna put in here a little clip of when I downloaded it and how easy it was to get on my phone. So I opened up the app store on my phone and typed in Calm harm. Ah, and you'll see it's thesis condemn app that comes up on my iPhone. So I opened it up and chose my location. And then I set my password. And then it showed me the new features on the APP, which I could choose to hide sections that I don't like, make notes about activities, Um, create a journal after I'm done activities or add my own self help section on the APP. Then it'll ask you if you want to give more information about yourself, which you can prefer not to answer if you so choose. Um, the next thing is, you choose whether you want to have mascots or not. I chose the calm, and then you choose your colors, so I liked cool. It showed then, um, sort of how calm Herm tells us to ride the wave of our emotions. Uh, and then you get to choose your activity type, so I'm gonna go through a couple of thumb. So breathe is a 3 to 5 minute block of breathing exercises that you follow prompts on your screen. Distract is a five or 15 minute, um, set of activities, and you get to choose which activities you like because not all activities air suited for everybody. The express yourself section is also like the distract section eso you got to choose activities yourself. So this app is really customizable for everybody. This kind of gave me an idea. They say you have to ride the wave and it's true your emotions come in kind of like waves, and they have a peek. So if you make it through that peak of your wave, then it's way easier to get back down into the calm and thinking about my anxiety and my emotions as a wave and as something that's going to come and overwash me. And then it's going to leave again. It gives that sense of impermanence and being able to know that things aren't going to feel this way forever, is really my sense of peace is knowing that no matter how bad it feels right now, whether it was 20 minutes ago or an hour ago, I didn't feel that way then. You know, I didn't feel this this sense of overwhelming stress and anxiety that I do Justin hour ago . So it's OK because if I can just make it through another hour, chances are I'm gonna be able to make it through that really stressful time. I think everybody has thes sort of stressors, and everybody has some level of anxiety. Whether yours a skyrocketed or not, it's always good to learn how to help yourself and how to walk yourself through those really, really hard emotional times. So I suggest you download this app. I'm not sponsored or anything. This is just because I think that kind of helps. Um and I hope it will help you to to get through some things that, you know, Maybe you weren't expecting coming your way. 6. Coping Methods to Try when Things Get Tough: when I'm really overwhelmed or anxiety written or stressed out, I've really turned to a few different coping methods to help me get through my overwhelmed feelings. If I can't figure out the root cause of why I'm feeling stressed out or anxious, then I usually have a few different things that I try. First. I'll try talking to a friend or a family member and just sort of give them my situation and tell them what's going on and why I'm stressed out and what it is that's making me feel so upset. And sometimes when I end up talking to other people and I'm trying to explain to them what it is that I'm feeling, I am able to connect some dots that I didn't realize that I was able to connect earlier because with a friend there and sort of ah, a distractive way to think about my problems. In a way of explaining to another person, I'm able to look at things from 1/3 point that I usually wouldn't be ableto look at by myself and sometimes my friends input can really, really help me to figure out Oh yeah, maybe I am just stressed out because I have been working too much. Or maybe I really am stressed out because I have exams right now. You know, there are a lot of things that can slip our mind in every day, stressors that can really build up and give us an overwhelming feeling. Another thing I do, if I'm alone and I want to remain alone and I can't really have access to friends or family or I'm not really feeling like talking to somebody. I'll go to my journal and all right, everything out. Everything that I can all of my really, really angry thoughts, all of my sad thoughts, all of my confused thoughts, everything that's jumbled around and swirling in there. I write down on paper, and being able to just get it out of my head can really help and give me a little bit more room to think about things. And one of the last things that I try and do is take a bath or go on a walk or listen to music something that gets you alone and with your thoughts in a calm, individual way so that you can mall over your thoughts without feeling the stress of the world come to fall down on your shoulders because sometimes listening to music can make you feel like you're not where you are, and it can give you a little bit of space to brief. And I find that with a bath for me or for going for a walk. Those things really help create calm and create space in my mind. So try and find something that really makes you feel able to think about your thoughts without them feeling really stressful, something that you're gonna be able to almost multi task at doing. I find that being able to identify the source of my unsettled feelings can help me find calm again and can help me sort out What do I need to take care of first? And what do I need Teoh put off and not worry about right now? A lot of times when you feel stressed and overwhelmed, it's a lot of little things that have piled up on top of one or two big things. So identifying whether you can take care of the little things first and that will clear up some space for you in your mind and in your life or take care of the big things first, because the little things can just wait and they're not that important. And if you are way too far gone for that and you're so overwhelmed and so stressed, and you you can't even think about up, down left right what to do next, then try five hats, which sounds funny, But it's five things that you have to do to sort of set an awareness of yourself and your body, and it separates you from that continuous circling, stressed out thought pattern. So the first thing that you have to do for five hats is identify five things that you can see and then identify four things that you're feeling next. You identify three things that you can hear two things that you can smell, and the last thing you do is say something nice about yourself, and this will really help you separate yourself from that swirling, tense feeling that you were feeling before. It will help you get out of that crazy panic sensation. So try these coping methods out, and I hope that they will help you out because they help me when I'm really stressed out 7. Final Thoughts: thanks for taking this class on emotional management and coping skills. And I encourage you to take a much time, as you need working these methods into your own life. If you think that they will be a good fit for you for a class project, go to the dollar store and find yourself a small notebook, something that makes you smile or that inspires you and make it your gratitude journal. I have my own gratitude journal that I bought at an art and craft show, um, in our local area. And, um, if you guys want to comment below and I can give you the um the etc to buy this if you want this one. But any book is just fine. Please go find one that is cute and makes you feel good. Or that is like, cool or I don't know, whatever makes you feel like you could start to find happy again and right in it. Write in it every single day before bed. Write down three things that you are grateful that happened for you today. And if at first you struggle with figuring three things that happened, then substitute a person that you ran into today or talked to today or one of your pets and do this every single night over the week. See if it's easier to notice the things that you are grateful for. I noticed in my first week of doing my gratitude journal consistently every day that I thought, Oh, man, I should have written all these other things that I am grateful for. You know, the things I wrote down like I'm grateful for those. But what about these other wonderful things that have happened to me? Write down as much as you want, Teoh. The more that you look for good, the more that you're gonna find and continue this practice for as long as you want to. You don't have to stop after the week. I find that I liked writing down the good things even after a bad day. It makes me think that tomorrow I even if I have a bad day, we'll be able to find that good things happened to me. Feel free to comment how you experienced all of this class and your homework. And please let me know with a picture. If you found a journal that really inspires you. Thank you for taking my first class. I will have another class uploaded in two weeks and I will be keeping that sort of upload schedule. So I'll see in two weeks. Class adjourned.