Bad Boss: Dealing with a Difficult Manager | Chris Croft | Skillshare

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Bad Boss: Dealing with a Difficult Manager

teacher avatar Chris Croft, International Coach

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Taught by industry leaders & working professionals
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Watch this class and thousands more

Get unlimited access to every class
Taught by industry leaders & working professionals
Topics include illustration, design, photography, and more

Lessons in This Class

23 Lessons (1h 17m)
    • 1. Introduction

    • 2. What Type of Boss is Yours?

    • 3. #1 My Boss Never Listens to Me

    • 4. #2 My Boss is Making Terrible Choices

    • 5. #3 I'm Bored!

    • 6. #4 I Don't Have the Authority or Tools I Need

    • 7. #5 They Always Want me to Stay Late

    • 8. #6 My Boss Has Favourites

    • 9. Example - Is Your Boss Evil?

    • 10. #7 I Never Get Praised

    • 11. #8 They Change Their Mind Constantly

    • 12. #9 My Boss Demands the Impossible

    • 13. Example - Stand Up to Bullies

    • 14. #10 Their Promises Never Come (promotion, staff, budget etc)

    • 15. #11 The Top Priority Tasks Keep Changing

    • 16. #12 Money Issues - Lies, Delays & Underpaying

    • 17. #13 Micromanagement - I Have No Freedom

    • 18. Example - Removing Your Own Freedom

    • 19. #14 They Lie to Me

    • 20. #15 They Never Say Thank You

    • 21. #16 My Boss Always Takes the Credit

    • 22. Example - No Idea Where to Start

    • 23. Wrap Up

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About This Class

Bad Boss: Dealing with a Difficult or Toxic Manager

Be happy and successful at work with practical solutions for handling a bad boss or difficult manager

Having a bad boss or difficult manager can ruin not only your 9-5 weekdays but also create a toxic environment for your personal life too. It's not surprising that it's impossible to switch from being stressed or unhappy at work to joyfully spending the weekend reading on the beach. A difficult boss can haunt you with stress and unhappiness throughout your week. Regardless of your age or experience at any stage of your career a boss can be a huge problem for your long term progress and daily satisfaction... and that's what this course is designed to cure. If you are living with a challenging boss or manager and instead want to create an environment which is happy, productive and respectful, this course is perfect for you. It is possible, and there is hope!

In this course you'll learn practical techniques to deal with a bad boss and overcome a toxic work environment. Each lecture is tailored to a different management issue and will give you precise words to say, a range of practical non-confrontational techniques, and detailed tips on how you solve the problem. Most bad bosses are in fact not pure evil (although a couple are!) - mostly they are poorly trained or misguidedly trying to help you. The good news from this is that there is hope - by using these methods you can slowly train your boss to be a better manager to you, and create a happy and successful work environment. After this course you will be calm, collected, well prepared for any difficult conversations. In fact - you should be happy in the office and progressing quickly through your career! The course looks at lots of real life examples (some of which will definitely get you cringing) and give you practical tools you can use right away to get better results in your work relationship.

Difficult Managers can be totally soul destroying (at home too!), but with this practical course you'll soon have things resolved. Whether you're brand new to a role, or been living with this toxic relationship for years, this course will build essential skills for your negotiations, relationship building, and overcoming confrontation nerves.

Chris Croft is an international speaker, and widely published author, who's been teaching Leadership Skills to companies for over 20 years. He's taught all over the world, as well as online, and has an entertaining and practical teaching style. This course is guaranteed to keep you engaged and amused, and teach you life changing skills for home and work.

The course overview includes:

  • Identifying what type of Bad Boss you have

  • Whether they are misguided and poorly trained or truly beyond hope

  • Be able to implement practical changes to turn your work life around

  • How to be confident and respectful going into an intervention

  • Getting your message across clearly and effectively

  • When to start looking for another job elsewhere

  • Whether raising an official grievance is a good idea

  • And lots lots more!

By navigating a difficult boss successfully, not only will you pave the way for future promotions, you'll also have changed your whole life from despair to happiness!

Meet Your Teacher

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Chris Croft

International Coach


Chris Croft is one of the UK's leading trainers and provides a wide variety of courses designed to involve, inspire and motivate people of all levels. To date Chris has trained some 87,000 people and enjoys a 94% rate of repeat business. Chris is also a successful author, with his first book 'Time Management' published in 1996 to wide acclaim and has since been followed by fourteen others. His tip of the month email goes out regularly to over 10,000 people. 

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1. Introduction: so welcome to my training course on how to deal with a bad or difficult boss. It's a really important subject. This bosses commit your life a misery, and it's not your fault. You could be the best person ever on a difficult boss can ruin things for you, for all kinds of weird reasons. Sometimes they're genuinely evil people, but quite often they just incompetent, meant no one's ever told them how to be a good boss. For example, they might think that criticizing you is going to improve your behavior. So that's what they do. And it is amazing how bosses can get under your skin and they can slowly undermine you and destroy you in the end. So we need answers. So what I've done is I've listed what I think of the top 16 things that bad bosses do. And for each one, I'm going to give you tactics of how you can deal with it. Got different tactics for each one. Some tactics worked for several types of problem boss, but I'll explain that as we go along, So let's get started 2. What Type of Boss is Yours?: Now I know that you're probably here for one particular type of boss, and I've been thinking about the best way to film these videos because each problem type their 16 problem types of boss. And for each one, there's probably five or six different tactics as all those tactics work on a number of different bosses. So I could go through all six for each boss. But if we do, that's a lot of repeating if you watch the whole course to be too much repeating. But on the other hand, if you delve into just one type of boss, you might miss some of the tactics because they might be referring toa other types of boss . So what I've done is I've made a little matrix here so that you can see so what it shows you is you could look up the type of boss that you want to deal with, and it will show you which tactics you can use, and it will show you which video those tactics are described in. So hopefully that'll be useful. And then you can get all the information you need to deal with that horrible boss of yours 3. #1 My Boss Never Listens to Me: the first bad boss behavior, and these are not in any specific order that just 16 bad things. The 1st 1 I've picked, his bosses who don't listen to you on linked to that. His bosses who don't involve you in their decisions. They just do their thing. And you're just a minion who works with a little bit better. Value your opinion. So what can you do about that? And I've got to tactics. The first tactic is to compare how they treat you with how they treat everyone else. So talk to your colleagues and find out whether your boss listens to them. If you can find people with same boss, ask how that boss treats, then do they listen to them? Do they involve them? Because if it's just you, that's a specific problem. The chances are it applies to everyone. So at least that's a bit of progress, because you know that it's nothing personal. It's just that that's how they think they should manage people. So compared with how we treat other people, and that applies pretty much to every single boss problem, you compare notes with colleagues and find out whether it's only you And then the second thing is to ask for a specific change. Don't ask for a general change. Just don't say, Oh, you're bad at listening or I want you to listen to me more or I want you to involve me more because that's just moaning and it's too vague and too negative. So I say to the boss, when you select a new supplier, I would really like to be involved or when you create the agenda for the meeting, I would really like to be in on the on the creating of the agenda, cause I think I can handsome things pick of specific change on ask on. By doing that, you can gradually trained the boss into listening to you and getting your opinion before they do things. 4. #2 My Boss is Making Terrible Choices: The second problem you can get with bosses is when you disagree with them. You just don't agree with the way they're doing the job. Maybe they're trying to reduce quality in order to get prices down. Or maybe they're rude to customers or they don't want to invest money on something and you just don't agree with them. What can you do? Well, the first thing you should always ask yourself is, Is it you save yourself? Is it me, or is it partly me on? This applies to all of the following boss problems as well. Is it me? So it could just be that you disagree with your boss because you're wrong. Or maybe it's a matter of opinion and you're both equally right. So it's the first thing to ask yourself. But if you are really reasonably sure that you're right and the boss is wrong, then the second thing to do is to get better at persuading your boss influencing your boss on thing to know about this is that there are different types of boss who are susceptible to different types of influencing. I think you can divide the bosses down into four types and you can see them on this diagram here that you could look at how quiet versus outgoing they are. You can look how logical versus emotional they are. So if they're quiet and logical often accountants and engineers like this, then they're probably an analytical type of boss. So if you want to persuade them, you need to give them lots of facts and reasons, lots of information on if you could give them a logical case than they should be open to being persuaded. The other thing with them is to quite risk averse. So if you say that my worry is that if we don't do this, there might be a problem. There's a risk of something going wrong. Then they're quite likely to do what you want. The second type of boss top right corner in my diagram is the more outgoing logical person , and I call them the controller and these are The people are in a hurry, and they're just tough, decisive, and they make decisions quickly based on a short number of small number of facts. So with this type of boss, the thing is to give them a very quick summary. I think we should do this. And this is why I think we should do this. It'll cost X. These will be the benefits. Make it really easy for them. In the ideal world, you will have already found a supplier chosen. The best product fill that all the formal they have to do is sign it. So you can say to them, I think we should do this. We need to buy one of these. Here's the form. If you could sign it, I will sort all the details. And that's the best way to persuade that type of boss the other options to give them just two choices. Do you think we should do this or this because they are quite macho decision makers, So they're probably just say, Well, I think I'll do that one. And then you've got you go what you wanted. You probably don't mind which of the two versions do want to get the red or the blue ones. You want to get it this week or next week, something like that. So getting to choose between the two, they have the illusion of control on their brain is occupied. Choosing between your two options. It doesn't enter their mind that there's 1/3 option, which is to say no to you. The third of my four types of boss is what I call the enthusiast, the outgoing emotional type of boss. And these ones are exciting, visionary, inspirational. But they're pretty disorganized and scat e they change their mind. They have different flavor of the month every month. And so how do we persuade this boss to do something? If we disagree with, um, logic is pointless. You could give him a big long report than ever going to read it. So the thing is to be as quick as you can, but to paint them a picture of how great it will be, say, I've had this amazing idea. It's really new. It's different. Everybody's going to love it. Shall I do it? I'll organize it for you. You know you can have a look at it when it's done, so make it easy for them and make it exciting sounding because that's what turns them on. Don't expect to do any work at all. Definitely don't expect to read along report or to fill in any forms for you or anything like that, you have to do all the detail for them. And then the final type of bosses. The amiable boss, the people person who's a bit quieter than the enthusiast. And these are the nice bosses. The cuddly, caring people type bosses. They're not usually so difficult. But if you are trying, persuade one of these people, the main thing is security and happiness of people. If we do this, every thing will be safe and everyone will be happy. Nothing will go wrong. The other argument that works well with them is that other people are doing it, and it's fine if you say that every other companies doing it or somebody they know is doing it, and it works really well, that's the best way to persuade them to do what you want. So to sum this up, then it do you disagree with your boss? The first thing is, is it to you? Could you be wrong? And secondly use, um influencing methods, depending on the type of boss that they are 5. #3 I'm Bored!: My next type of problem, boss, is when you're bored. It is your boss's fault. They're not giving you enough to do not giving you a a meaty enough challenge to get your teeth into. And you just getting bored in your job. Really, What can be done? Well, I've got a number of suggestions. My 1st 1 is to ask for just a small chance to prove yourself, say to the boss, Can I go and see the customer of my own next time? Or can I go and do the presentation to that conference next time? And just think of something that would be a challenge for you but which you can definitely do. Ask the boss if you can. If you can have a go at that, so that's the first thing you can do. So they probably fine with that. I'd be surprised if they don't want to let you do that, and then that will keep yourself entertained. So don't expect your boss to come up with ideas to keep you occupied. Think of what you would like to do. Is your next level of challenge. Then ask your boss for it. The next thing is to always be positive in your requests. So don't just save the boss. I'm bored or I don't like doing this. But say to them, I'd like to do X instead or I'd like to do X as well. Could I do that, please? Third is to gradually move your circle of accountability so that your job involves in the way you wanted to go on. What I mean by this is that if you do a circle of everything that you are accountable for and then you also draw a circle of what you would ideally like to do these two circles might not be quite the same. Family could be really different. So you've got a nice bit in the middle. The overlap is where you want to do it, and it is part of your job, and it's great, but it's gonna be part of your job you're bored with and is also going to be part of your ideal job that you haven't yet got. And the game is to slowly try to move this circle on. You can do that just during the year by saying to your boss, Can I do this as well, would you like me to look after that area for you as well? But you can also do it in your appraisal. On your appraisal, you could say, You know, I'd like to learn more about this in the coming year. I'd like to get experience of this and you can suggest moving it and gradually keep your circle moving in the direction you wanted to go. And it's a slow process. You might be able to move it 10% a year, but the main thing is to be proactive about it and decide what you want your job to consist off so that you could start to lobby for that idea. Number four, if you're bored, is considered moving internally within the company, so you could be working for a different boss. In fact, this applies to almost all of the types of bad boss. Consider an internal move much less risky than leaving the company. And you don't lose your your history if you've got a good track record of working for that company. So is there another department? The other thing about moving sideways within a company is that it makes you much more employable. for going up later. If you've got somebody technical who also knows about sales or somebody technical who knows about production because they've moved sideways, they're much more suitable to be put in charge of both. Do you think about it? The managing director needs to know a bit about everything, ideally, so you could consider moving sideways. And it might be diagonally upwards, of course, sideways and upwards. So that's always an option. My fifth thought, if you're bored, is don't wait for redundancy or early retirement unless it's gonna happen very soon. If you know it's happening in the next couple of weeks, then, of course, don't leave but wait for it. But if you think there's gonna be redundancies coming up in six months time or you've got retirement in two years, don't wait. Life's too short to waste time waiting for things like that. And there is a risk, of course, that it doesn't come after all. And you certainly find after two years that you're not able to retire or the redundancy doesn't happen. And again, this applies to all of the bad boss situations. Don't wait for redundancy or retirement unless it's very soon you're gonna do something instead. So those are my suggestions for a boss who has allowed you to get bored. 6. #4 I Don't Have the Authority or Tools I Need: My next boss problem is when you are not given the tools to do the job, I don't necessarily mean physical tools, But you're just not given. I don't know. Maybe your computers not good enough for you not given the authority to do the job or you're not given enough time to do the job they're asking you to do, which is really unfair. Mainly I think it's authority that won't let you get on and do things you want to do. And I personally like a lot of freedom. I like to just get on and do the job. I want to work. And I hate it when bosses saying, Oh, no, you gotta check with me first. So what we're really looking at here is to negotiate where you are on something called the Freedom ladder. So if you have a look at this diagram, you'll see that there are five levels on the freedom matter. So the bottom level is wait until told, That's where you just sit there and you wait for your boss to tell you what to do next. Now, some people want to be here because they have an easy life and they don't have to worry about anything. Personally, I would hate to be there just to sit that waiting to be told by my boss. The level above that is where you asked what next you say to your boss what I've done that what you want to do now and again? I mean, I would rather be there than the bottom one, but I don't really want to be at the asking for what to do. I'd rather be just getting on with things. But there are people at that point. So that's the ask. What next? The level above that on the freedom ladder. Bit more freedom now is where you actually go to Boston. You suggest things. So instead of just saying, what shall I do now? You say, Shall I do this? You want that area tidied up, or shall I phone the customer and get get a better price? Or should we sort out that quality problem? Would you like me to do that for you? So you actually suggest things. And now if you're suggesting level, you have to actually get permission. You couldn't. You can only suggest you can't actually do it so you could call it check before acting on. Some bosses like to keep people at the chapel for acting point on the ladder, because then there's no risk. You know, just go running off and do something I asked for. Asked a customer for a price increase or something like that, which could be quite quite awkward. It could cause trouble so some bosses like to keep you there. But personally, I would feel that I hadn't been given the authority to do the job if I had to check with my boss every time. For example. Imagine if you have to check with your boss every time before you can work overtime. Be pretty annoying, so I would rather be at the next level up, which is report afterwards. So this is where we would just do the overtime if we needed to. And then I would tell the boss afterwards, we worked overtime at the weekend. You know, this is what it costs, and this is why we did it on. If I have to buy a new part for a machine, I would just do it. But I would tell the boss afterwards, so that's report afterwards it's still not that risky for the boss because they know after every time you do it. So if you do something you shouldn't have done, you can only do it wrong once cause they're gonna know. And then they could say, By the way, next time, don't do that. Don't buy that part or don't work it overtime because you didn't need to. And then the final level on the Freedom ladder is free to act where you could just get on with it. Sometimes there's routine reporting there's a bungee talked something like that, but you're basically free to act. That's where I want to be on the freedom ladder. So in terms of managing your boss, how do you get to the top of the freedom ladder? And the answer is one step at a time. So if they've got you down at wait until told, what you can do is come to them and suggest things and say what? You can come from up. First of all, I just ask what next and say, Shall I do there? Shall I do this? But then you can actually come and say suggest things, shall I sort that Would you like me to do that for you? So you can just go up to the third level to get from the third to the fourth levels? A bit harder. But you can say to them, instead of checking with you every time, which does use up a lot of your time. Sometimes I can't get hold of You won't. Why don't I just do it? But always report afterwards. So you always know what I've done. And I think any reasonable boss will say, Yeah, good idea. And then instead of reporting every time you could say, Look, instead of coming to every time I do this, why don't I give you a list of the end of the week? Well, why don't they give you a monthly report where you can just see all the things that I've bought and I won't go above the budget, or I will check with you before I go above the budget. But within my budget, why don't I just do the things I have to do and just give you a summary every week or month ? And again, any reasonable boss will agree to that, I think. And then finally to get to rip free to act as a bit more difficult. But you could say to them every time I send you this list, it's always fine. So why don't I just do it? And you could always ask me if you want to know anything, just ask me rather than me giving you the list every time. Why don't I just get on with the job, save time, getting saves my time and yours if I don't have to give you a report, which you then have to read or pretend to read? So that's the freedom that when the idea is to try to go a level up and I level up until you get to the top, if you can do it on as you got those stages, as I mentioned on one of the other videos, ask for specific changes. So rather than just give me the freedom to act, say to them, I'd like to out to just work overtime if I need to, or I'd like to have just boarded parts within a certain price range if I need to, so make sure that your suggestions about how you got a level a Z specific as possible. So there we are. That's what to do if your boss doesn't give you the tools or the authority to do the job. 7. #5 They Always Want me to Stay Late: The next boss problem is quite a common when I think which is when they put pressure on you to work really long hours and you've probably got a personal life. I mean, you know, you don't have to spend all the time at work on bosses think if they can get you to work longer hours, they get more out of you. Which, of course, is probably not true. Sure, you could stay on late once induce an extra work. But if you regularly worked longer hours, it's been shown has been lots of research into this, that people don't produce any more. If they regularly work long hours, all that he was pace themselves. They go a little bit more slowly because they know they've got a longer day. So it is stupid for bosses to put pressure on us to work longer hours. But nevertheless, that's what they do. So what could be done? Well, three thoughts, really, First of all, find out from your coworkers how they handle it. What do they do when the boss puts pressure on them, particularly the ones who are really good at keeping their hours down? How are they doing it, so learn from them, maybe even talk to them about it. My second thought is make your results more measurable because quite often, bosses they're asking for long hours because they don't know what you do. But if you can show that this is your target and that you're achieving it, then the hours you work don't really matter. Salespeople are a classic example of this sales. People quite often do work longer hours, but they don't always on their boss doesn't really care what hours they work as long as they're getting in the deals. So with any job, if you could make it measurable, then the focus will move away from the hours. And then my third and final thought is to make yourself harder to monitor. So if you can work at two different sites, then your boss won't know which hours you're working. If you can work from home some of the time. I used to leave my jacket on the chair of my my desk when I went home, so my boss would never really know whether I was around because I was down in the factory. A lot on my jacket will be on my chair. So I had to leave my jacket on my chair on the way home, which probably didn't fool the boss because they could look at whether your cars there, if you park your car in different places as well, just make yourself harder to monitor its a bit naughty. But you know, if they want to be that useless, that they look at your hours, and I think it's okay to play games back. But the big one there, I think, really is make your results more measurable if you possibly can. So there are some suggestions, but what to do when your boss is putting pressure on you to work longer hours? 8. #6 My Boss Has Favourites: So the next type of bad behavior by a boss is when they have favorites. Maybe you're a favorite. Maybe you're not a favorite. The bosses who have favourites a basically unfair and that's bad. So the first thing to think about is, what's the real problem? Are they just on incompetent Boss? Are they actually evil? Are they deliberately trying to make you unhappy? Do they get a kick out of making you unhappy by having other people who are favorites? Or are they just different to you and with all different with all difficult people? You've got these options. Are they incompetent? Are they actually evil, or are they just different to you? Let's just take a moment to think about that. For example, suppose you got somebody who's really annoying because they always turn up late to meetings . Are the incompetent they just bad at time management? Are they actually evil? They just don't care about you. They think they're more important or other, just different to you. Maybe they just pretty laid back about time. Maybe in their world, plus or minus 10 minutes is absolutely fine, so it could be any of those three and the boss who has favorites could be just a incompetent manager. They could actually be nasty, or they might just be different to you in the way that they interact with people. So you may interpret it as favoritism. I'm really there's no harm intended. It'll So what can we do about it? Well, the first thing is, if you're not one of the boss's favorite is to get better. Maybe maybe you do your job well, but you aren't very good at PR for yourself. Eso you don't tell the boss enough about how good you are. Well, maybe there are certain things that the boss really values that you don't do. So you're really good at everything else. For example, maybe you don't send your monthly reporting on time. So maybe the boss thinks that your rubbish when everything else you do is absolutely brilliant. So just get better, send your monthly report any type. That's what the boss values do that some bosses air a really obsessive about timekeeping, for example. So why would you not always be on time when that boss is involved? He could be the boss finds you hard to deal with and remember, I would talk about the four types of people earlier so it could be, for example, that your on analytical person in your boss's enthusiast and they just find you really picky and detail, in which case get better influencing your boss. You know, don't border with lots of detail. Andi. Similarly, if you are enthusiast and your bosses analytical, get better at dealing with them, make an effort to give them plenty of information because that's what they want on just looking at the other diagonal while we're on the four types of people. If you're a controller and your boss is an amiable, it's a bit of a weird combination. But that means your boss is really, really nice. And you're a cut to the point. No nonsense person. What it means is you've got to take your time of it and be nicer to the boss. Spend a bit of time chatting to them and talk to them about the people side. What's more likely is that your boss will be a controller and you're an amiable on. That will be a problem because you'll find the boss scary on ruthless, and if you find that happening, then it's really important to use the language, get better at using the language that your boss uses. So just give them a very quick summary cut to the point. Don't be willfully prepare what you're going to say. Get in there and just give them a few bullet points. So influencing the type of boss next if your boss has got favorites is never accused him of being a bad person. It's the behavior change that you want, so be very specific and clear. So in what way are they favor ties ing the other people? You know, for example, suppose that they and I don't know, suppose they always invite somebody else to their important meeting, But they don't invite you rather than saying, you know you're not fair, you got a favorite. Just say them. I'd like to come to the meeting or suppose that they spend more money on one person's department than they do in your department. Say to them, I noticed you've spent this on their department, and I really, really need some money spent on my department. Hears the case. This one I'd like to spend it on. Could I do that so I always make sure that the proposed behavior change is specific and clear. Finally, if you are a favorite, you know that's great. But be careful. Don't hit yourself to just one star. And even if you got a good boss, don't rely on that one good boss looking after you because you never know what's around the corner. What if they leave? You know what? If they get fired, get promoted. Go to some other company. You'll be stuffed. So don't rely on one boss, so it's great if they like you. But be careful. Make sure that you're also doing a really good job. Make sure that you can prove the ordering good job and make sure that you're known to be good by the other. People in the organization don't rely on just one boss. So there we are. That's bosses and favorites 9. Example - Is Your Boss Evil?: an example of, ah, of a bad boss that I had a few years ago. A guy called Harry wherever he rang me up and he said, Come and see me, would you? And I thought, You know, you always know it's bad when he just has come and see me in my office. So I had to see him and he said, He said, Chris, I don't think you're worth the money. So I'm paying you all this money on the factory, Keeps on making mistakes and I just don't think you're worth the money and mistakes do happen in factories or all the time. I mean, that's kind of how they are. Um, so what would you say if your boss just said I don't think you're worth the money? So I thought, Right, I will prove with logic that I'm worth the money. So I said to him, Well, I will show you that I'm worth it. I'll come back tomorrow of the list. So I came back the next day with a list of all the things I have done that had saved in money and in fact, it added up to £400,000 I had saved in 0.4 of a 1,000,000. So we were feeding the edge, trim back into the machines who were buying other people's, you know, set secondhand waste. And we're feeling that in a small proportion of plastic into the mix. And you do all these really clever, difficult things that I've saved him 400 grand, and I only was being paid 40 grand. So So basically I had saved him 10 times my pay and I showed in that list, and I thought that should do it. Guess what he said, Because I thought he might say something like, You know, yeah, maybe you're right or that's not enough. But what he actually said was, all those things would probably have happened anyway. And you just think, What are you going to deal with the boss like, you know, that's an example of a boss who just isn't supporting you at all. He's got it in for you, really, And I think you know, when you get a bosses that evil, he wasn't incompetent or different to me. He was actively evil, and I think if you've got a boss who's either getting his kicks from giving you a hard time or is deliberately trying to get you out. The best thing you could do is probably start looking for another job. Just start looking. Get some mines in the fire. Don't feel disloyal. Just ring up some employment agencies. I wouldn't bother with advert. Answering adverts is too difficult contact from employment agencies and find out what they've got. Just get out And that's what I did and it took a little bit of time, but that's what I That's what I did. And I think it was the right thing to do. There is a point where you just got to leave. 10. #7 I Never Get Praised: the next type of problem. Boss is the one who criticizes you all the time. I read somewhere that you have to praise people 10 times to cancel out just one criticism. So if you got a boss who criticises and praises 50 50 that's still gonna feel as if you're mostly being criticized. And there are lots of bosses out there who never praise. It's always criticism on criticism is really it's really horrible. Long term, it really undermines you. If you've seen some of my other videos, you'll know about the management potatoes, I call it, and it's a bit as if you're performances like this potato. And every time your boss criticizes, they just cut a little piece off the potato and eventually get nibbled away till you've just got instead the potato performance you've got the prune of performance on. That's really quite horrible on what the What can we do? The question really is what committee if we've got a boss and we feel our potato being nibbled away by criticism on what you must never do is just end up as approved, just ceasing to care and just doing the minimum, but that that will happen if you're not careful, So what can we do? Although before I get to the answer on that, I just want to say that there are bosses with a personality type called the controlling perfectionist, and they are impossible to please. So don't be fooled into thinking that if you try hard enough, you'll win their approval. Some bosses will just never be satisfied, so they are going to criticize us. And it's not our fault. It doesn't mean that we're bad people. So what can we do? Well, first, does everyone else get the same? I mentioned this on the previous video. Find out from your colleagues from your teammates. Do they also get criticized by the boss? Because if you're all being criticized, then at least that's some consolation. You know, it's not just you, and in fact, you could all, perhaps between you work out a plan of how to deal with it. Next is to ask your boss for their help, to learn and to be better. It's quite Cummings. You could say, Yes, you're right. I am bad at that and they want to improve, and you're obviously an expert on it. So will you help me to get better? Now, if you think about that, what's gonna happen? And the answer is, if it's really difficult and there is no answer, they're going to find that out. They're going to go. Well, actually, I don't know the answer either, or they're gonna go. Yes, this is harder than I thought. But on the other hand, what may happen is they may actually be great. You might get some really good coaching, you might learn, and you might become better, so that would be a result. You win either way, so ask for their help on. The other thing is that if you improve a small amount, but it's from their coaching, they're going to say that the coaching was really successful and you have improved massively because they've got a vested interesting in seeing the coaching work. So ask your boss for a bit of help, a bit of coaching. I think that's quite a cunning way to get around the criticism. But the big thing is never ceased to care and the supplies actually toe every bad. Boss behavior never cease to care about your job anymore, because if you do that you're now wasting five days a week of your life, and that's just awful. I mean, if you're definitely gonna leave and you're applying for other jobs, then okay, you could cease to care. But even then I would try to do a good job right up until the day I leave because you never know. You may end up not leaving. Something might change. You might want to come back so never ceased to care. It's much better to try to change your boss's behavior, trying to get your boss to give you some praise instead of criticism. And if that doesn't work, then leave but never leave until you've tried to retrain your boss. And the best way to do that is by this asking for help to learn. The only other option you've got, by the way, is to point out their behavior and say, Have you noticed how you criticize me much more than praise me on? I would find it much more constructive if you were to give me some encouragement. Will it be possible to do that? It's a fairly sticky conversation, but you know you could do that, and that's much better than ceasing to care on. It's much better than having to leave, so that's what to do if you got a criticising boss. 11. #8 They Change Their Mind Constantly: my next category of Tricky Boss is the boss of blows hot and cold. The boss who is really excited by something one week and then they they're not interested the next or they change from one flavor of the month to the next, or they really want to help you one month in the next month. They're just not interested for all sorts of reasons. They may have perfectly good reasons to be like this, but it is quite confusing to have a boss like this. So what can we do? And the first thing is to agree. Your job objectives really clearly with the boss, rather than just doing whatever they want in a particular week or particular month, have very clear objectives of what you're trying to achieve. And then you can work on that independently of the boss on their mood and their focus. So agree the job objectives really clearly with them on that may require a bit of negotiating, because you may want to negotiate to have something that you want in your job objectives rather than what's already in there. So that's the first thing the second thing is to make. Everything is measurable that you can have talked about this already. But if you've got a measurable outputs, measurable outcomes, then whatever the bosses opinion is doesn't matter so much. Because you can say I've achieved what we have agreed, and my final point with the hot and cold boss is to have better communication with them. You really don't want to have a communication disconnect with this type of boss? How do they like to be communicated with? Did they like to meet and chat once a day? Or did they just want email updates sent, or do they want have a weekly meeting? When is a good time of day to talk to them, You know, is it best to get them when they first arrive? When they're walking around the factory, can you go with them and chat to them? Or perhaps they don't want to be disturbed for the first hour. They're looking at their email and not a morning person anyway. So maybe it's better to sort of bump into them in the afternoon and give him an update of what you're doing and check that they're happy. So find out what that preferred communication style is. on do whatever works best for them, so clear objectives measurable and the best communication you can have with them. That's really all you can do with the hot and cold type of boss. 12. #9 My Boss Demands the Impossible: the next type of bad boss is the one who says You'll just have to find a way. You know, you got to get that boat assembled within six weeks and it's got to be ready cause the customer is coming or you'll just have to find a way to make 5000 shock absorbers by the end of the week. That was a job that I did, and you'll just have to find a way on Gwen, you say, Well, how? I don't know. That's your job. You do it and I've got four things to say really about this type of Boston. The 1st 1 is stand up to bullies. No one's really sure whether bullies like to be stood up to or not. I think some like it and some don't. But I think I don't care whether they like it or know if they like it. Stand up to them. If they don't like it, stand up to them. They can't be allowed to believe. So your first thought is, this boss is a bully, and I'm not having it. So you gotta have that almost the point where if you get fired for standing up to yourself , then fine. There's always a better job around the corner. You'll be fine. So we've got to stand up to them. By the way, don't resign right now because I said there was a job around the corner. Always get another ride in the fire before you resigned. Just interesting case. My second thought is you can say to them I could do it, but it's going to be expensive, you know, I could do it, but it's gonna cost X. And when they go on No, no, we're not spending what they may say. Yeah, that's fine. Spend the money, which is great. But if they say no, no, you can't spend that. Then you can say, Well, how can I do it on Expensive Doesn't always being money. It could mean missing out on something else. So you can say, Well, I could do it, but I won't be able to do those other two jobs that you want, so I hope that's OK. And when they say, Well, no, no, no. I want the more you can say, Well, you know, each of these is a full time things. I can't do them all, which one of the three do you want? So making them choose from a list is a good tactic. My third point is it's never too late to go back. So if in a big meeting you're told you've got to do it and you can't really argue there and then you can go and see them later or if they take you by surprise and you say you will do it, won't you? And you go? Yes, boss. You could always go and see them waiting. Sound done. Some planning. I've done a bit of research, and I've worked out that it can't be done. So you can think of an answer. You can plan your answer and you can go back to them maybe with a gang chart or any type of proof and save them. Look, I don't think this could be done in the time. Yeah, unless you've got. Unless you got a suggestion of how I could do it, because I don't think it could be done. And if they say Well, I don't care. You'll just have to find a way. They're behaving like a big spoiled baby. Really. But if they say well, you'll just have to find a way, I think persists and say, Well, I can't see how to do this. I need you to help me. Please. Will you help me to plan how to do this job? Then I'll carry it out. Andi, if they go well, you know that's not my job, You can say, But it is your job to help me when I can't do my job and I literally don't know how to do this. You could even be a bit more honest and say, I don't think you know how to do it. I do you I mean, do you even know that it's possible? What makes you think it's possible? And I think you could ask them. Some questions like that really challenged them. Stand up to bullies. My final thought when you got bosses, you say you'll just have to find a way is to comment on the process, and you could say, You're asking me every month you're asking me to increase production or reduce lead times or sell more or whatever it is, and I think I've got to a point now where it's not possible to keep improving light on I think it's kind of unfair that every month you just tell me I've got to do better. But you don't tell me how you don't give me equipment tools, authority for how you just say find a way. And I think it's impossible So you can actually comment And if if necessary, you could actually say, You know, I think you're just putting lows of pressure on me to get better results. But I don't think even you know how to do it and it's fine. I'll have a go at it. But I don't think it's fair to effectively threatened me and say, Look, if you don't do it now, be trouble. Uh, you know, let that let me have a go did help me if you can, um but you don't need to put that kind of pressure on me to say If you don't do it, you know you'll be in trouble or you might get fired so you can actually tell them that you don't like the process. You know, Just talk to them, 1 to 1 in a grown up way. Don't let them use parent child on you. Be adult. Adopt with how you respond, I wouldn't actually use the word bullying. By the way, I think if you say to them, you know you're bullying me. That's so sort of a red button blood, isn't it? And now I think you're gonna put in a grievance or something about that. So I wouldn't accuse him of bullying. But I think I would accuse you them off using unreasonably forceful process on unfair process and a process that's not motivational and saved them. Do you think this is the best way to work? So commenting on the process. So my four points, then standing up to bullies, saying, I can do it, but there'll be a cost. It's never too late to go back and challenge them on to comment on the process. 13. Example - Stand Up to Bullies: one really horrible boss that I had. We were in this factory and we were making plastic trays for food to go in like chicken Kiev's and things like that. And we were running three shifts around the clock because we had extruded us and they take a long time to get up to temperatures. So once you got working on Monday morning, you don't want to stop. You just run all week. So it was three shifts on. I had a shift manager on each of my three shifts on day. One of them waas old but miserable. He was quite negative. Oh, no, we've tried that before that work. But he was experienced. Very knowledgeable guy. One of them was young but very positive. Up and coming. He didn't really know much yet, but he was shaping up to be good in the future. And then the third guy was in the middle, right? He was excellent. I mean, he was experienced. He was knowledgeable. He was enthusiastic. He was great. So I had my three, the old, the young and the great one on day one day, the boss who was really a sage ist he was horrible said to me, Chris, we've got to cut costs, which was not true, by the way. We're making loads of profit. He said, Chris, we've got to cut costs. I want you to get rid of one of the three shift managers. The actual wording he used was pick one, and for Kim, off for came off. It must be a Dorset expression for fire him. So he said, pick one and get rid of him. Thank him off and I just saw What am I gonna do now? The 3rd 1 the really good guy. I've got to keep him. But who would you have got? Rid off what you've got rid of the old miserable one or the young enthusiastic one. Now, after a bit of thinking, I decided to get rid of the old guy even though that was gonna be worse for him. I mean, he was 58 or something like that is probably not going to get another job. He's gonna get about 30 grand redundancy money, but that's gonna be gone in a year or two. And after that, he's gonna be stuffed. So it was an awful thing to do, but I had to do it. Andi and I figured that the young guy would be a better, longer term prospect as the old guy was holding us back and we had enough knowledge to cope without him. His attitude was a problem on. I'd rather have attitude than Aptitude. Think so. I got him in and said, Look, I'm really sorry, but somebody's got to go and it's you And he was really shocked. He went this sort of ashen gray color. He was just couldn't believe it, and I felt so awful about it. I went home that evening. I said to my wife, I can't believe I'm having to do this. I sold my soul to the devil, working for this company. It's just awful. But what do you do? You know. So anyway, I went back into work the next day, and the boss was waiting for me when I got in, and he said The first thing he said was, I can't believe you fired Fred. I wouldn't have got with a friend. I think that's a really bad decision. You should have got rid of Jim. He was a young one. You should have got rid of him if I get rid of him as well. So I had to find the young one on the second day. And then it was just me and the third guy and we ran the factory 12 hour shifts each. It was impossible really, to run it like that. And they're all sorts of mistakes made which cost a lot more money than we saved. By getting rid of those two perfectly good guys. It was just utterly stupid. I remember going home from work the second day saying to my wife, I can't believe I'm having to do this. You know this boss, he's making me as bad as he is now on. This is ridiculous. And I did leave that job. I left. But looking back, what I should have done, I think was stand up to him. And I think I should have refused to do it. I should. You said no, I'm not doing It's crazy. It's gonna cost us more money. I'm not doing it. And I think it would have been interesting to see what happened, because either he would have given in and said, All right, then, you know you can keep your three guys, which would be great. Maybe there's only 10% chance that would have happened, but I think I should have tried for that. But because he gave me the choice of who to get rid off, I stupidly didn't think there was the option of just saying no. And I guess I was frightened that if I said no, I'd have got fired. But I don't know what he could have fired me for that. And besides, I was going to leave anyway. So I think you got to stand up to bullies. And I think I should have said to him now, I'm not doing it. Um, and if you'd said, Well, do it all your you'll be fired, then you know, I could still have done it, but I think I should have just argued with him a bit before, which is going ahead and doing it. That's what I learned from from that story. 14. #10 Their Promises Never Come (promotion, staff, budget etc): The next problem that I've certainly had with bosses in the past is jam tomorrow to keep saying, Oh, you're gonna pay increase next month or yeah, next year, you'll get you'll get your new office or we will have some money to spend on machines. Or so we just promises promises and it just never seems to happen. And it's really frustrating. And of course, you can see why bosses do it cause it's dead easy, just a promise they're going to sort it out at some point in the future. Maybe they will eventually. So what can we do about that on? I think the first thing to do is keep records. So on the day when they say it's gonna happen, make a note. Just keep a little book somewhere. If the promises don't tell your boss you're doing it, just start keeping records, and you need to do that from the first time that they promise anything. Really, you could use an e mail, thank you as an excuse to put it in writing as well. She could email and say, Oh, by the way, you know, while I mean manning about X, just to say It's great that we're gonna get some new machines next month. I'm really looking forward to it or something like that, because then you've got some actual proof you can you can say, Well, you know, I'm sure you said the last month You said that this month we're going to get the new machine. Or I'm sure that you said last year that in January I was going to get my new office on my pay increase. So where is it? And if they deny it, you can say, Well, you know, that's that. Here's the email I sent you, remember? So put it in email if you can. But if not, just keep records in a little book, and then you can say, Look, this is the fourth time now that you've put this off, this is the fourth time that you said it's gonna be done and then it hasn't happened. And the worst that happens, they'll say, Well, you keeping records and you could say, Well, I keep a note of everything. Yeah, that's just how I am just organized to keep records sticking in email, if you can, And then something we've mentioned on an earlier video is comment on the process. So you can say to them, By the way, have you noticed it was good? Would have you noticed? Have you noticed that quite often you promise things and they don't happen? And, you know, I know it's difficult, and sometimes it's hard to get a chart to come up with the money or whatever things change in the company. But it's quite frustrating because there's this process where you promise and it's always jam tomorrow, and it keeps just being postponed and postponed, and it's very depressing for me. So is there any way we can definitely get it to happen this time? You know, What do you think? Can you give me some commitment that you really will make it happen this time? So comment on the process. I think that's perfectly powerful because often people don't realize that they're doing it . Bosses don't without even noticing that just fob you off so you could make them aware of the process, and you can also make them aware of the fact that you are aware of what they're doing. I'm on to you. I know that you just make these promises with no intention of doing them. You wouldn't say that, but that's effectively what you're saying when you say, Have you noticed how often things seem to get postponed around here? So keep records, email of possible and comment on the process. That's the answer to jam tomorrow. 15. #11 The Top Priority Tasks Keep Changing: the next type of problem. Boss is a boss who moves the goalposts. They have different flavor of the month, and they keep changing what they want from you. Andi, there several things you can do. First of all, agree a job's list with, um, they may ask for jobs list. But if they don't write one yourself and then you can say to lease the jobs I'm doing for you is this right? And I put them in priority order. Are you happy with the priority order? And doing this gives you a bit of control, of course, because you can choose the order and you could even sneak a couple of jobs in that You want to do that? They haven't given you. You could say, These are the things I'm working on. Are you happy with my list? And if they say yes, you've got them. The worst they'll do is delete the ones you added your only back at square one. So right, a job's list. Get them to approve it, and then every time they put in an extra job, you can say, Well, I can do that one, but I've got these other jobs I'm doing for you. So where do you want the new one? Shall I put in at number three? Maybe. You know, I think I should probably do it third, But that means that you'll have to wait till next Thursday for it. Because I gotta finish these other two first. And if they say no, No, I want it first. You could say Okay, fine. As always. You know that the one that's going to be second, you won't get that to Wednesday. You okay with that? So you could negotiate over changes to your job's list. So that's the first thing. The second is something I mentioned before, which is to comment on the process. And you can say quite a lot of things have changed since last month On you can say, Is this definitely a priority? Because last month it was something else, and that's changed in the month before. It was something else, and that's changed. So, you know, I'm fine with it, But can you just confirm this one definitely, really is the top priority. So commenting on the process, and as I mentioned, it shows your boss first of all, it makes them aware of what they're doing because they may not realize how often they change your priorities but also shows them that you're onto them and that you noticed that is happening. Another method which we mentioned earlier is I can do it, but it'll cost, so I can do it. But you won't get something out so I could do it. But I'll need to spend a bit of money. You sure you want me to do that and finally keep records, perhaps using email? Thank you's. So when they change the goalposts, you could say no worries. Just confirming that this is the current priority order. I just send them the email. And then if you have to have a big debate later on about whether they keep changing things , you could say, Well, look here in the last four emails and you can see it changed. It changed. It changed it quickly, thinking, changing it back. Emails say, just to confirm this one is now the top one again. And when you're ready, when you got enough emails, you can challenge them by showing them the whole list. So those are my suggestions for how to do when the boss keeps moving. The goalposts keeps changing the flavor of the month 16. #12 Money Issues - Lies, Delays & Underpaying: Now we come to the biggest crime. I think that a boss conduce which is messing with your money, I say to people, Rule number one never mess with people's money. If you promise somebody a pay rise or overtime pay for working a weekend, make sure you pay it on. Don't you know, failed to pay and then say Oh, yes, sorry. Payroll forgotten. Promise it next month, and then the next month you let them down again. I mean, that's just a really guaranteed way to upset people. So I think if your boss is messing with your money, that's a really bad sign that shows they have no idea about management and they really don't care about you. So what can you do? And I would recommend the four step process. Now, this four step process. You could use this for any of thes boss situations. Any of these videos that you're viewing, you could use this. For Onda four step process is a really good way to be polite and careful when you talk to a boss, because let's face it, bosses are important and often scary, and they do have the power to fire you So you know, you don't want to upset them. So these things I'm suggesting they need to be done diplomatically, and the four step process is the way to do it. So the four steps are I understand. I feel I want Is that okay? Okay. So let's just look it out a little bit. Um, let's suppose that the boss has failed to pay you for working the weekend during a stock check or something like that. And it's supposed to be extra money for that. So you would say I understand you'd say to them, Look, you know, obviously it's a bit difficult, Teoh respect mistakes happen in payroll and, you know, maybe somebody just forgot. It is just one of those things, but I feel quite upset. You don't have to actually use the words I feel you could say. I'm quite a bit upset about it because, you know, I'm worrying now about whether I'm gonna get paid and I feel bad having to chase it up. I feel bad having to come to you and appear like I'm money minded when you know, I just want to do a good job. But I am worried I'm not going to get paid. So Step three I want is it will be really great if you if you could go to payroll and get it sorted out. Or maybe you could get payroll to actually email me to confirm. I'm definitely going to be paid in Thursday's pay packet, you know. Could you do that for me? Step four is just to say, Could you do that for me? Now? This is quite a carefully thought out process, because the strong bits of steps two and three I'm not happy. I want you to sort it out. But if you just went to your boss and said I'm not happy, I want you to sort through that that would be quite aggressive. I mean, you have got a right, but nevertheless, you don't want to do that. So what we do is we put it in this fluffy exterior of I know that it's difficult to get stuff done, and I'm really grateful that you're doing it. But I'm worried I'm not happy. Or did you sort it out? Is that okay? Predicting that for me, please. So always make sure you do. Step one and four and Step one has the extra benefit that it takes away their excuse because if you say I know payroll are quite inefficient and difficult, but it would be great if you could do it. Your boss can't say, but payroll really inefficient. Difficult because you've already covered that off, so it makes you look nice. It's a nice soft lead in step one, but also it takes away their excuse. So use the four step process when you confront your boss with any of these things, really, but particularly for messing with your money, you've got to go in and you got a salmon happy and I want it sorted out. Two other thoughts about messing with your money. I think one of these be prepared to leave. You know, if they don't solve your payout, you've gotta go and just say to them, You know, look, I I'm really worried about this. I really wanted to be paid, and you got to give them a few chances because sometimes you know HR or payroll are very slow. I would personally just go straight to HR or payroll myself and say, Look what's happening and I did this once actually in one job, and when I went to HR, they said, Well, we've no, we've not had the It was actually for a pay rise And my boss said he put the form in and it was waiting HR when I went to a Charlie Civil, we've no had the form. So I went back to the boss and said, HR haven't had the form And he said, Really Well, I definitely sent it, So I said, Well, shall I take it to them? You know, So I think if you got to get really involved, you should. Because, you know the worst is gonna happen is you're going to end up leaving. Got nothing to lose, really. So be prepared to leave for it. If you never get the money that they promised you, whether it's a pay rise or overtime or whatever, then I would leave over that because that's a measure of how little they actually value me . It's not about the money itself. It's a sign that they just don't care. So I would leave over. I wouldn't leave till I got another job. Go to recruitment agency and find out what else they've got. I go to some interviews, and if I found a job I liked, I would leave. That's why we do. But my final thought is you could put in a grievance or you could go to your union if you're a member of a union. But I think grievances and unions are usually a bad idea, and I think for any of the problems that we're talking about on this course, I think it's a bad idea to put in a grievance. I mean, it can work, but even if it works, you're then branded as a troublemaker, and managers take a very dim view of people who put in grievances. So although you have to have a grievance system and you know, I think it would be really wrong if people could be bullied and were not able to do anything about it, if you've got the choice, don't put a grievance in because it will be amongst many managers. It will be a black mark against your name. Similarly, if you involve the unions, it kind of means that you can't stand up for yourself, so I would avoid that. I'd rather leave them put in agreements because If the only way to get what you want is to put in a grievance or to involve the unions, then it just shows the company doesn't really care about you. Certainly your boss doesn't really care about you. And do you really want to work for someone like that? So I wouldn't bother with grievances and unions Personally, I would rather leave. So that's messing with your money. Four step process. I understand. I feel I want Is that okay? Andi, be prepared to leave. 17. #13 Micromanagement - I Have No Freedom: the next boss problem and it's a very common one is micromanagement. The boss wants to control the way you do every detail of your job. They want to know everything that you're doing, and it's annoying. I mean, they're not necessarily a bad boss. They care. They want you to do the job right. They want the job to be done well, and maybe they do know better than you. Perhaps that's why they're the boss. But it is annoying on my suggestion for this really is to retrain your boss, get your boss to be a better boss. And that would mean that you would say to them, I'll do it my way, if I may. Well, that's okay. I know how to do this. Just leave me to do it. It's fine. The thing about retraining your boss is that it may require repetition. They won't get it the first time. It's a bit like Imagine if you get a new puppy and you bring him home. When you put him there in the middle of your living room carpet, what's he gonna do? And he's probably gonna pee on the carpet, isn't he? At that point, do you think I've got appear? I'm just gonna have to live with dog. We on my carpet for the next 10 years. I'll just wear Wellingtons and squelch around on my carpet. But you don't. Do you think? No, I'm going to change that. And it's the same with your boss. You don't think I've got micromanager? I'll just have to live with that. You think? No, I'm going to change this. So you shove the dog out of the house out. And then when the dog comes back in, will the dog do it again? And the answer is yes. Probably now when the don't does it a second time, Do you think not only have I got a were I've got a non learning were I'm, dude, I've just got to wear the Wellies. No, you think right. I'm gonna have to tell the dog more than once. And how many times do you have to put a dog outside before the dog learns? And it's probably 20 by the way, A friend of mine, he tried to train his dog by throwing it out of the window Every time it peed on the carpet , he threw the dog out the window is only on the ground floor, so it wasn't too bad. But he would throw the dog out the window and the dog very quickly learned to what it used to used to pee on the carpet and then jump out the window. So anyway, how many times will you have to throw the dog? Gently put the dog out of the room and possibly 20 Now imagine. After 19 times you gave up on you thought, That's it. I'm just I'm going to give up. I'm just going to live with this dog being on the floor. You were so nearly there and it's the same with bosses. I think you have to keep saying you don't need to worry about this detail. I've got it, I'm doing it. I've never let you down before, have I? So don't worry about it, and you just got to keep pushing them back. And remember, the micromanager probably thinks that there are a great manager. They think they're helping. So if you could say to them, you know it doesn't help if you check every if you come back every five minutes and asked me how I'm getting on. We already agreed. I'll give you a report once every week, so it will be fine. You gotta keep doing it now. It's not that bosses are stupid. The fact you have to keep repeating it to train them is not because they're stupid. It's because they're forgetful. They've got loads of other things to worry about and trying to manage you in the way that you want to be managed his way down on their list of priorities. So you just gotta keep nagging, so never live with it. Never give up after only asking for a change to happen. Once you got to keep repeating the change on get there. You can retrain your boss because they want to be a good boss on. If you have to use it, you can. You can use the four step process. So if you need to, you can say diplomatically. You know, I totally understand how important this job is to you, and I totally I can see why you you want to make sure it's done right. That's step one, but I feel a little bit demotivated. I feel as if you don't entirely trust me. to do this job on. You know, I'd really like to be just left to get on with it. Step three, maybe I could give you a report at the end of each day on hand. Getting on? I mean, how would that work? Would that be good, Andi? Okay, So should we do that? What do you think? Now be step for So you could use the four step process to politely top. Try to retrain your boss. So that's the answer to micromanagement. Retraining your boss with the four step process, if necessary. 18. Example - Removing Your Own Freedom: I was visiting a friend of mine. He runs this large company in London that does refurbishing of offices, and I was in his office and he was actually quite hard to have a conversation with him because people kept knocking on the door, interrupting with trivial questions. On what I remember, one guy came in with these two cushions to rent cushions and said, And which one should I use? I'm missing his name out, I said. He said, Which one should I use for the Vodafone job on my friends Settle, I go for that one. There in the blood went off Thanks and off he went. And after he'd gone, I you know, I was thinking, Why is that guy bringing you cushions? You're the managing director on People are bringing you cushions to choose between. I mean, that's just mad. Now, my friend is a brilliant cushion color Chooser is probably the best in the company, but nevertheless he is now managing director and he's got to move on from what he used to do. So what should he have done? And I think he should have said to the guy, Why you bringing them to me on. I was thinking, Why? Why did that bloke bring the cushions to the boss to choose the color? And I suspect what had happened, and this is where it becomes the boss's fault. I suspect what had happened was that the boss had said, Who chose that cushion there. That's completely the wrong cushion. That color is totally rock. And then from there on, it was all always check with the boss, so I suspect he'd he'd made that problem happen. And this is an example of the freedom that because somebody was free to act on the boss saw something he didn't like and said, That's not right. Always check with me. In fact, he may not even have said, Always check them. He probably just said That's not right and everybody thought, got to always check with the boss from now on. And then they demoted themselves almost down to probably not wait until told, probably check before acting. In fact, that's where they are. Is it checked before acting? So I'm thinking, if you get told, you done it wrongly, don't immediately go right. I'll go down to check before acting, because if you do that you're just gonna enjoy your job less so I think I would ignore it and carry on doing it my way. Now if the boss says, Always check with me first I think I would check with them one or two or three times, But then I would say, Look, every time I bring them these to you, they're always fine, aren't they? So why don't I just go back to just doing this? You don't need have to come and interrupt you every time with trivia like cushions, do you? So I would suggest to the boss that I get moved up the freedom that your objective is to get high up the ladder if you can, and it's better for them as well. Everybody wins if you could get higher up the ladder because you get more motivation and they get more time. So that's an example of the Freedom ladder in practice 19. #14 They Lie to Me: this next boss problem. We've kind of dealt with a little bit before when we talked about messing with your money. Because this next problem is lying to you, where the bosses Oh, yeah, I waiting HR, Andi, Messing with your money is kind of one version of lying to you, isn't it? Because that's where they say you're going to be paid and you're no. But if they're lying to you about anything, it might be. For example, I worked as a university lecturer for a while and I had a temporary contract, and they kept saying, Your permanent contracts going to come through soon. You'll be made permanent soon, and it just went on and on. And he's the most annoying thing and similarly to two. Messing with your money. I think being prepared to leave has to be the bottom line, because if you've got a bossy lies to you or if you've got an organization, unite to you. That's not the sort of place where I want to work. But the only way that you can find out whether it's the organization or just a bad boss is to ask to meet the other parties to go to HR and say Look, have you had the form from my boss? Because if they're any good, they won't tell you. I'll say, Well, that's between you and him. But they might tell you, so I would go to HR. But the other option is to say to your boss, I won't have a meeting with you and HR and can we both sit down and sort this out? So I asked, Have a meeting with all the parties. Now it made a PHR. Your boss may be saying that their boss has to approve it and their boss hasn't signed the form yet. In which case, you could say, Well, can I have a meeting with you and your boss? Can the three of us sit down and talk about it? Because then you can find out what's really going on is going to be a bit scary. But you have to get to the bottom of whether it's just your boss who hasn't even passed the former's on or whether it really is an organizational problem. And your boss is just failing to fight your corner for you. So because we're prepared to leave over this we could have no fear and we mustn't we we have to get to the bottom of that one. Still use a four step process. Of course, you can still say that. You know it's difficult, but you're upset and or only all the stuff that we did before. So if they're lying to you, have a meeting with all of the parties. It's the only way. 20. #15 They Never Say Thank You: Now the next type of boss is the boss who never thanks you. Now this is not quite the same as the boss. He criticizes you all the time. They do go together quite often. But I had a boss once who never thanked me. He didn't criticize me either. He was great and he didn't ignore me. I mean, we used to talk about all sorts of stuff we use to jointly plan big things together. It was great. It's just the one thing he never did was thank me. That was quite weird, Really. And and in fact, I decided to ask him whether I was doing OK. I decided to retrain him and get him to thank me. We've already talked about retraining your boss. So what I did, I said to him, By the way, how's it all going generally with me? Are you happy with the job I'm doing? And he said, You have course, Yeah, when I said good or that's all right then and he said, Well, why do you ask? And I said, Well, you know, I think I'm doing a good job, but I don't know what you think. I mean, you know, the numbers seem fine, but I don't know whether you're happy or not unless you tell me. And he said he said. But so do you. So I need to tell you, Do I have it that I'm happy with you with your job job you're doing? And I said, Well, yeah, it would be nice to know that you're happy and he said, But you don't seem like a sort of insecure person. I said, Well, no, you know, I'm pretty sure. I mean, doing a good job, but I don't know what you think and it would be nice to hear it occasionally, that's all Anybody. Well, all right, then it sort of looked at me weirdly, but it was fine. We knew each other well enough for me to say that a bit of feedback would be nice. Occasionally remember, Then what happened? About a week later, we were in a meeting, so I was the production guy. But we had finance, marketing and HR or some sales, I think, and we were looking at how the company was doing in a boss went round and he said, you know, sales were slightly up this month. That's good. The factory has had another good month and I went and he went, Oh, yeah, so well done, Chris. And everybody's going ruined all that on Ben the next month, he said. And the factories done well. Yes, we waste is down. I was going Oh, yes, well done, Chris. And everybody else is all going you. But the point was that after a while he I didn't have to prompt him. And he did actually say, Well done, Chris. Another good week, Onda. Actually, the annoying thing was he started to thank everybody else as well. It wasn't just me that benefited from all the pain and suffering I had to go through to train him to thank me. Now, was it worth the pain and suffering in the embarrassment in front of everybody else to get my boss to thank me? The ultras? Yes, I think it waas because all I had to do is, you know, hassle him a few times. And then after a while it became a habit and he thanked me every time. And that was fine. So I think it was worth it. If I was forcing him to say something he didn't really believe then that would be worthless . But if I'm getting him to say what he does actually think, which is that I'm doing a good job, that I think that's quite valuable. So I think retraining your boss using repetition is worth it. And I think it works. It can work really well even for a boss who doesn't thank you. But the final last thought about the never getting any thanks is that you can make it if you could make your job measurable. If you can have facts like waste percent did your output or sales or whatever lead time then you don't need Thanks, because you've got proof that you've improved on. Also, it's easier to get Thanks because you could say to the boss, these figures are looking good out there, boss ago. Yeah, yeah, they are good out there. Yeah, well done. So if you could manage to make it measurable, it's much easier to get. Thanks if your job is just a sort of matter of opinion, Supposed to just a designer say I say just I mean, I got a lot of admiration for designers, but suppose you're a designer. You can't really measure how good your designs are. Then I think it's much more difficult to get your boss to thank you. But you can still say I think it's worked out rather well. What do you think? And I hope they don't go. I don't like it. So yeah, so I think you can ask for thanks and you can train your boss and if you can make it measurable, that makes it even easier. But don't put up with a world of not being thanked because it's quite soul destroying in the end, you know, you've got to do something about it. 21. #16 My Boss Always Takes the Credit: Finally, I've got one of the most annoying boss behaviors of all, and it's quite common as well, which is bosses who who take all the credit for your work. They don't give you any of the credit for what you've done very irritating. You can see why they would do it, of course, especially if they feel a bit insecure. But it's an awful habit, really, to try to take the credit for your people. I do always wonder whether their bosses are stupid enough to believe that that boss did all the work, but they they might be. So anyway, what do we do about this? And I think the first thing is to not give them all the information. Somebody says, How did you do? It didn't go well. I don't quite know how I did it, So give them some but not all, of the information. So they're informed because, you know, they've got to be kept informed, but they can't claim that they actually did it. And if they ask you for all of the information about how you did it play for time, you say, Oh, it's all a bit complicated or I just did a bit of stuff on the computer. Don't give him all the information, so that's the first tactic you've got. The next tactic is to publicize the results during the job so that as each step is done, you publicize that you've done it and you get the credit on. Then immediately afterwards, make sure you immediately get the credit. Everybody, I've just done this. I just got this order or we've just managed to make this product perfectly in a very short time. Whatever it is so during and immediately afterwards, publicize it, get in first basically, so everybody can see that it's coming from you. And then later on, when the bosses look what I did, everyone's gonna think I'm sure remember Cruz talking about that last week. So that's the second idea, Really. 3rd 1 is something we talked about before, which is to make things immeasurable and have facts. Because if you've got immeasurable proof for what you've done, then it's very difficult for your boss to take the credit from you. So those are my three tactics, particularly. Don't give them all of the information and publicize your results during the project. Andi, immediately after it finishes 22. Example - No Idea Where to Start: When I worked for the business school at Bournemouth University, I was really enjoying the lecturing and that was great. And I had a boss, a very nice boss, actually, who asked me at my appraisal if I would improve links with French universities. I remember thinking I have no idea how you do that. You know, I was sort of a bit anxious about the idea of phoning up French universities, probably trying to speak French. And so I just thought I said to him, Yes, yes, I'll do that. And then I just didn't do it, and I just I just hoped he would forget. And I remember passing into the corridor a few times and thinking I don't ask about the universities and he didn't. So that was great. I thought I got away with it. In fact, my my appraisal a year later came and went. There was no mention of improving links with French universities, and then suddenly, after about a year and 1/2 he he said to me, Did you ever do the links with the French universities? Chris and I went, No, I didn't and he said, Oh, well, don't worry about it and it sort of got for gotten. And I was thinking back about that. And what should I have done? By the way, I was also thinking that I should have done it because it would have been great. I could have gone to France on a whole load of jollies and had meetings with various people and taken about two lunch and said that I was improving. Links are looking back. I really should have done it. But if you're given something that you don't know how to do, there's just too hard. The answer is Tell them Don't just hope it goes away. Hope they forget. I should have just said to him I would love to do that, but I don't know how. Will you coach me? Will you give me some help? And he was a really nice boss. Obviously, to him, it was easy, so he just assumed that anyone would know how to do it. So if I said to him, I need a bit of help. He said he had no problem. Yeah, here's the first thing to do. Come back when you've done that and we'll do the second or I'll come with you. Perhaps we would have both gone over to France. It would be great. So I think looking back, I was really stupid about that one. And I mean, was he a bad ball sore of? Was I just use this. I think he was a bad boss in a way, because he didn't check that. I understood it. He didn't say. So you know what you'll do, do you? What's going to be the first step of your plan If he'd sniffed any slight hesitation in me , he should have probed a bit more and said, Are you going to do it? Um, but still, what I'm really saying is, if you do get a boss who asked you to do something that you don't know how, you must say so, Ask for coaching. Bosses are quite happy to give you coaching. It will be fine. They won't judge you on that 23. Wrap Up: So that's it. You finished my course on how to deal with a difficult boss. I really hope that I managed to identify your boss's behavior. Is one of the 16 things I've come up with or a combination of the 16. Perhaps other bosses have done about 10 of those eso Good luck with dealing with the boss's . We've got to fight back against bad bosses. Remember that often it's not their fault. They've never been trained. They're just trying to be a boss. They don't really know on remember to be diplomatic because, you know, they do have the ability to fire you. So if in doubt, use my four step process of I do understand how hard it is. But I feel a bit this. Is there any chance you could change? You know, would that be possible? So keep it kind of gentle. Andi, I would also say plan how you're going to say it. So before you confront the boss, just have a little think of how you're gonna word it and then take the plunge and do it. You could even force yourself to do it by booking a meeting and saying, Are you free today? I don't know. Maybe 2 p.m. I want to come and ask you about something. That's what bosses always do to us, isn't it? Come and see me at 2 p.m. And then let you sweat. So why don't you book an appointment on then you've got to go through with it and you got all morning to planet. You can even try it out on a colleague or something. Or try it out on your dog or something. You don't involve me enough in your decisions. You can say so. Practice the wording and then go in and do it. Take the plunge on do it, Do it today because the longer you leave it, the worse it is. You know, you're spending five days a week on your job. And if you don't enjoy it because of a boss, something's got to change. Andi finally completely free. Why not sign up for my tip of the month? I send out a free email to everyone on my list. Once a month goes out to 20,000 people and it's free. So I do spend quite a lot of effort writing. It goes to 20,000 people. If I discover anything good in the world of management, I put it into my tips and I send them out. You could always unsubscribe if you don't like it, but people always seem to love it. I get very few people on subscribing, so all we do you just go to free management Tips CO UK with hyphens in you can see the Link Free Management Tips CO UK put in your email address and my management tips will come into your inbox every now and then. Perhaps when you're having a dark day and your boss is really on top of you, one of my little tips will come in. To cheer you up is a way of keeping in contact and feel free to reply to the tips as well. It's great to know that you're out there and you're receiving them. So that's that really the tip of the month. Please do leave a review if you could be most grateful, and I hope to see you again on another one of my courses very soon. Bye for now