We were going to be sent to a refugee shelter in Wall Rose, where we might be able to find our father. Fortunately, I had plenty of time to write this journal entry. My intention was to keep my mind occupied by writing down everything in this journal, and it proved to be a helpful distraction. It was Mom's wish that I record my life and that of our family in this book so that I would have a reminder of it in the future. It was with me everywhere, even on the battlefield as a Scout; I'll get to that later. Eren was determined to join the Scout Regiment to slaughter all the Titans, and after what we just saw, that determination only increased.

Eren got more agitated the longer we stayed in the refugee shelter with people who made it out of Wall Maria. Mikasa hovered over him to make sure he didn't do anything stupid. You see, my brother was always getting into trouble because of his temper and hot-headedness. I was worried he might upset the wrong person one day.
Mikasa, Armin, and I were overjoyed to get some food from the Scouts, but Eren refused to eat his ration. Luckily, Armin and I were able to get extra rations because we were kids; his grandfather told the Garrison Scouts that we were his kids; Mikasa, Armin, and I were grateful to have some food, but Eren refused to eat his. His line was that he didn't want anyone to help us; we had to do it ourselves.
"How can we live like this? Like parasites?" He growled, gritting his teeth. "Why do we need help from these people?" He asked defiantly. He paced back and forth with fury. I didn't understand what he wanted by being defiant, and it wasn't going to bring our mother back. This was one of those moments where I feared he would make the wrong person upset.
"Eren! We're not parasites. We're lucky to be alive right now." I snapped after he ranted too much. "Greta is right, we couldn't survive on our own." Mikasa frowned, tears filling her gray eyes. "The most important thing is that we're all together and we're safe." Armin tried to convince Eren.
"Eren, Mom wanted us both to live, and I want to live as well. Let's do it together." I sat next to my brother. I put my arm around him in order to comfort him. I gave him a smile in an attempt to make him feel better. "Dad's still here, we just have to find him." I told him. I was not going to let my brother do something stupid just because he thought he could wipe out all the Titans.
I tearfully smiled as I said, "Big brother, I can't do this without you." He looked at me with a smile on his face and teared up back at me, "I made a promise, didn't I?" Eren said.

I said with a snarky smile, "Yes, you did, and I'll hold you to it." Eren laughed, "I believe it."

I hugged my brother and that appeared to have calmed him for a moment, but then he began to cry again; and that's when we sat hugging each other and sobbing hysterically.

We had seen our mother get eaten and we didn't know where Dad was.

Even though Eren and I felt alone, at least we had each other. Eren promised me that he would protect me from the dangers of the world, and he also promised our parents that he would keep this promise.

Wall Rose would be our home for the next three years. Because of my nightmares, I had developed a fear of sleeping. As a child, I wouldn't get nightmares that often, but after the trauma of Wall Maria, my nightmares became worse and worse with each passing night.

In my nightmares, I would see daily appearances of Titans, and I could almost smell their disgusting breath, coming from the carcasses that they had undoubtedly eaten recently.

It was common for me to wake up in the middle of the night, trying to suppress my screams.

I had a particularly horrific nightmare that night in the refugee shelter; Mikasa, Eren, Armin, and I were asleep in the empty farmhouse. The Garrison had given us blankets and sleeping bags to keep us warm.

I woke up crying hysterically again and my body wouldn't stop shaking. I was also breathing so hard that I almost fainted.

"Greta, you alright?" Eren muttered sleepily. "I just had a bad dream," I sniffed and wiped my tears. Mom's screams still plagued my mind, and I could hear her cry, "Don't leave me." I had a feeling she didn't want us to hear that. Mom was just as frightened as we were.

"Eren, don't leave me," I cried. "Don't worry, I won't." He repeated. I scooted my sleeping bag over to where Eren was sleeping and slept next to him. "Just go to sleep, everything will be okay," my big brother reached out his hand for me to hang onto and I took it. That made me feel calm.

Avery Larson

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