Jane Yates

my 100 days of monsters

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my 100 days of monsters

100 days of monsters. Please like my Mosters then i will kepp adding them and funny storys to go with them. Thank you, jane x x

(monsters not in the right order)

monster 23

I used the following words in the story from @storybandit challenge. I had to look them all up as they were new words to me apart from castoffs and I hope I have used them in the right context.

castoffs, unilateral, evince, equerry, malcontents

Castoffs monster, is little and furry but he has a huge brain which he uses to telepathically transmit messages to you.

Other than that the castoffs monster, really needs no introduction. I think as woman we are preprogramed from birth to try and make use and dare I say it, try and fit into any castoff’s that are family and friends no longer want. The castoffs monster is different to the hoarder monster who can take over your life completely. No this monster is more of a friend. She whispers into your ear, ‘you could use that, you need it, grab it!’

And then you are filled with a brief sense of wellbeing while you evince your new find off to your partner or cat if you have one.

This is a unilateral or one sided joy, after all the cat does not care for your latest cast off, other than it will inevitably end up on the pile and she can sit on it and sunbath in the warmth of the window.

My castoff monster leads me often to a large grand house where there works a kind equerry who is the squire of stables. The equerry has a range of horse type castoffs, most notably manure, which I need for my prize roses. Free to collect! However I was met by malcontents when I wheeled it home as it was a bit pongy.

Everyone loves roses tho, and their castoff monster the end.

monster 22

Monster 22

GANZORIG was a Mongolian eagle hunter in the Altai Mountains of western Mongolia

GANZORIG   in   Mongolian Means "steel courage" and he was named well, as he had proved to be a great explorer.

He and his eagle called OTGONBAYAR, hunted high into the hills, tracking many new routes into unknown territory.

Hunter and eagle hunted as one, and no game was out of reach to them.

One day when GANZORIG was trading his fur pelts, he heard of a great Monster who lived in a cave to the north of his village. He called OTGONBAYAR to his gloved hand and the pair travel many days until they reached the mouth of the cave.

Standing before it GANZORIG called the monster from his sleep with the intention of slaying it.

The Monster a blue and green dragon, crawled out of the cave, and stood up on his two strong legs, he spoke softly to the man and his bird.

My name is BAT-ERDENE and I mean you no harm.

GANZORIG new the Mongolian name BAT-ERDENE meant strong jewel and was shocked that the monster did not appear to be the demon he was told. So as a mark of respect he set up camp and he and OTGONBAYAR stayed and guarded the dragon and it is said that that is where they remain to this day.

monster 21

 

The fridge Monster

 

Oh I know what you’re thinking, you don’t have a monster living in your fridge. But I can tell you that you have, it just that you perhaps are not magic like I am so you cannot see him.

Perhaps you have noticed that you milk goes down a bit, or maybe there is less cheese that you thought you have? Hum yes?

I have made friends with my monster, I even know his name. The name of my fridge monster is Henry.
Henry likes party food best, pink fluffy icing on birthday cakes is to him the food of Gods.

Henry some time ago snuck out of my fridge and made a party hat for himself out of old streamers.

As you can see from the image I drew of him he stands twisted with one big furry paw and one which is now just a hook. He has only lived in my fridge for five years, but he tells me his very old. He lived in other fridges before, but I have been then only person to have ever been able to see him. He would not tell me how he lost his paw. But I’m guessing it’s in some fridge related accident.

I told Henry that he does not need to live in the fridge, he was welcome to join my family and watch the TV with us. I tempted him out with cake and the promise to watch the super bowl with all the superstars like Aaron Rodgers of the Green Bay Packers. Henry tried it for a day, and then he began to complain he was to hot and feign his death from overheating.

So I scooped him up and lay him back in the fridge on the shelf between a mullet, perch. And he soon recovered again.

day 16 monster

Along the coastlines of a faraway land lives a monster mosquito who lived in an old stone tomb called a cairn.

The monster would sleep all day in the shade of the cairn, but in the blackness of the night, he rose from his slumber to strike fear into the villagers who lived along the coastline.

All the villages would hide inside their houses at night and board up the windows. Apart from one very old sailor who had the audacious to walk around when the monster mosquito was in biting mode.

The mosquito saw the old sailor and jumped on him, biting him hard in the neck and sucking his blood.

However the old sailor did not die, he just got up and staggered about, however the monster keeled over and dropped dead, as the alcohol in the old sailor’s blood was too much for him.

So the morel of this story is, always stay safe at home when large mosquitos are about or if you have to go out send an old sailor out as bate first.

The end.

 

day 15 monster

Was she stalking me?

Was she stalking me? The snail was clearly a she, wasn’t she? I looked around at the soft silky tail that the snail had left behind it.

I stopped and glared at it. The snail stopped also. An awkward minute passed ere we glared at each other, before I walked off, quicker this time.

I did not look back, a mean how fast can a snail walk anyhow? Plus do snails even walk? No they slither along on a line of slime.

Yuk, who would want to be a snail not me!

Oh now I have guilt, so I stop and stand still and turn on the spot. And there, there is the snail.

What time of monster is this? I say that out loud as the snail has now grown in size to be as big as a cat!

Golly and gosh.

Glaring back at the snail, I quicken my pace. Passed the post box, the red telephone box and the old church yard, faster and faster I run.

Then I pause for a bit to look back over my shoulder. And there, THERE! Behind me is the snail, but now it’s the size of a car. A car I say! Yes really.

Its long pink and purple eye lashes flustering in the summer breeze.

No, I shout, go away stop following me. And turn and run as fast as I can.

Although it’s hard going as I had reached the bottom of the hill and as not as young as I used to be, no, and maybe a bit over weight to if I am honest.

Anyway, I make it up the hill and then stop to catch my breath, but there it is again, but this time as big as a house.

Yes that’s right, a house I say. It was a snail with a pink shell as big as a house. I can hardly believe it myself.

So I ran down the hill and over to the lake, and stood staring into the water dreading the site of the refection that could creep up behind me at any point.

And I was not alarmed when it did, there in the water next to my refection was the snail who was as large as a sky scrapper now.

As I stood still I looked at are reflections, we were the same in every way. Except she was a girl snail and I a boy snail. Guess that’s it for me then now, as I have heard that when a snail monster choices a mate, there is no escape. So I guess she was stalking me?

day 14 monster

This monster, was once normal. However after waiting in endless buss queue. turned eveil and mad.

Monster day the lady 14 but maybe only 13 as i think i missed a day before

This is a monster that’s is a lady who has one large eye to the side of her face.

She has a large body, and one back foot, she shuffles along.

She likes to grant wishes, although she gets real stressed and often turns people into frogs.

She likes loads of feathers in her hair and smells out adventures with her big nose.

She has a name , but im not brave enough to ask it, so call her lady.

monster day 13

i am feeling a bit stressed today so cant write a story for this monster, however if you look at it, you might be able to work out what his story is?

Monster day 12 cont.;

The mating dance of the kindred spirt monster

This is a site to see and as most of you will never get the chance to see it, I shall describe in all its glory’s splendour here. This is the mating dance of the kindred spirt monster.

As you can see this monster is brightly coloured in this drawing I have made for you. Unlike most monsters and animals for that matter. When the kindred spirt monsters are ready to mate both the male and the female are brightly coloured.

This is the female depicted here. If you were lucky enough to see the courtship dance you would she that she

Flails her beautiful fragile wings. She thrashes them about, while the male whirls and flaps about her.

However this is not the happy event it appears to be for on lookers, both monsters are sombre serious and cheerless as they dance about each other. This is because of the ceremonies its self, the act of love making of exchanging rites and sacraments.

Also in the turmoil that commences in the love making part of ritual, fur and feathers can fly at quite an alarming rate.

So you see love does not come easy.

 

Monster day 12

I would like to say although bat have been classed of as monsters by some people, this is completely wrong. Bats have been on earth 50 million years, and it’s only now that they are starting to die out.
Changes in farm practices is one of the reasons. Hedgerows being pulled up so that field sizes can get bigger is just one of the reasons.

Bats only do good and help the environment. I love bats so much I have one tattooed on my arm.

Monster day one

Date Monster

Hello let me introduce myself, I am the first monster here, so it’s only polite. My name is Ounce. I am very pleased to be your first monster. I Ounce would also like to be much more to you

Oh yes it is your lucky day, you are a lucky lady. I understand that you have been single for sometime.

But har har the wait is over FOR you, lucky thing.

I the great Ounce, would like to escort you on a date, which I don’t mind that you will pay, as you see I have to ask for contribution towards my time.

You can tell by my cloths I am a scientist, but not a mad one

MUHUHUHUH….. Well not yet, however unless you pull out all the stops for this date, I might become one.

What’s that you say? I am too short.

I’m not short just vertically challenged

MUHUHUHUH….

Go on give kiss me mmmw, mmmw,

Come on girl pucker up.

No! Going to wait for the monster tomorrow

Well good luck!

Day two monster

My name is Ludo and I am a thanksgiving Monster. I am mischievous and I love nothing better than to play tricks on you. My favourite trick is to turn down or up the dials on your cooker when you’re cooking your turkey. Also I like to drink all the boiling water out of the pans when you’re cooking your vegetables.

However if you leave me a glass of sherry out when you are cooking, I will turn my mischievous to the dinner table and un-tie all the children’s and old folks shoe laces when they are eating.

Day three monster

The scariest Monster so far!

This monster is so scary that I am going to tell you about him rather than let him talk to you. You see he is a type of scientist that collects butterflies, which is called a lepidopterist, however he likes to be called Sir.

Sir catches the most beautiful butterflies and pins them to a cork board. However the butterflies had started to recognise him.

So Sir, came up with a plan, and evil plan. He caught and killed and skinned a baby monster, then hid under its skin and swung his net out to grab the butterfly as it went passed.

Day three and a half Monster

Five legged French monsters

Bonjour, we are Marcel and Masson in the summer we like to play boule lyonnaise.

The game we play the most is not a French game but an English one, called five aside football. We can play this game on our own as we have 5 legs each.

Ha Ha.

Monster day three and three quarters

My name is Hero, I am a sea dragon. I can fly and drive and swim to the deepest depths of the blue oceans.

I am very old, I come from I time of legions, of a time when princes and princess fell in love and wrote poems to each other.

I am a magical monster, I can change the colour of the fire I breathe.

I am related to the horse shoe bat so if you spot one be kind to that!

Monster day four

Beautiful monster #blackfish

Sometimes the animals are the Monsters but the people who keep them

monster day 6

The fancy pants Monster.

I am a girl Monster called Mandy, I like to dance and sing. Although I am told that my singing is not the best. Tra la la, tra la la.

Day 7

Tigarse is a scary evil Monster who was once just a woman. However she got nosier and nosier and liked to spy and start rumors about the other women at her work. She had a normal fat nose, but the more noisey she became, the longer her nose grew.
she was always quite a hiary woman, she had long hair in her ears and up her nose, but later it started to grow all over her face then her body.
As sge started to be mean to the other women more at her work, a tail and wingys grew and she became what i always new she was a Tigarse.
So if you work with a woman like this point out what she will become unless she mends her ways.

Monster day 8

My Name is the pop sock Monster, I like to eat one of your socks each day. Not the same colour, a different colour each day. I am never greedy, I only ever eat the one!

Day 9 Monster

 

Monster afternoon day nine

This is the Monster that lives under my bed. I am sure you have your own version of this Monster?

My monster is called bounce. As his name suggests, he likes to bounce about under my bed when I am trying to sleep and whisper things I don’t want to hear.

At the moment bounce is saying, ‘no one will read your books.’

So please help me to prove bounce wrong. Download my book for free, on December the 5th and 6th

Thank you,

Free in all regions, not just the USA. But here is the USA link http://www.amazon.com/Paradox-Child-Book-One-marvellous-ebook/dp/B00D8J41DM

Day 10

Sparkle the Birthday Monster

I smelled smoke when I opened the door to the living-room. Stood in front of me my parents were smiling. There was a birthday cake with pink creamy icing and birthday candles alight.  

‘Happy birthday darling make a wish,’ they chorused.

Stood on tip toes I blew candles and squinting my eyes I made a wish.

My father dripped some ink on white paper, and a pink dragon grew out of it.

I picked it up and admired its wings.

I named it sparkle, it was the best birthday ever.

Six is a magic age.

Day 11 Monster

The exam monster

I think we have all met this monster, I have stared him in the face many a time. Exam monster looks a bit like a diseased, fervent, rabid rabbit crossed with a squirrel.

He he’s called taint, and he ant going away. You can’t escape him even if you were all sailors and had a galleon to sail on.

Nope taint will catch up on you. Swift and with sharp craws, barking, snarling and rasping.

He will try his best to mess up your exams so much that it will be a shock if you pass.

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