13

10

Victoria

So this kind of breaks the rule of 10 pages but i want feed back and if i have to i could edit it down some
I want to know what you all think of my work first hand. I want all the feed back I can get.

Brief syopsis:
Victoria, a young women living with her husband on a farm in the western united states in the 1900's
contracts a virus that has already killed 15 people, and she may be next. We open at her funeral, where
you meet Martin her husband, and the rest of his and her families. we learn a little more about Victoria
and the girl she was growing up by meeting family memebers who share stories of her life.

EXT. 1900’S GRAVEYARD, DAWN. HAROLD (M40) a middle aged grounds men with dirt stained skin shovels the last of the dirt atop a fresh grave. He hums an old tune while he works. Behind him Victoria’s husband MARTIN BRADFORD approaches. Martin is in his late twenties, with dark brown hair that hangs over his eyes, He is dressed in all blacks with a black cowboy hat on top of his head. MARTIN Is everything ready? HAROLD Yes sir. MARTIN People will be arriving soon, please go make yourself presentable. HAROLD Yes sir. Harold walks away. Martin crouches by the grave, flowers in hand; he weeps. MARTIN I can’t believe we’ve come to this. (pause.)(whispers) Our time wasn’t meant to run out this soon. Harold returns, dressed in his most formal wear, his skin now clean from dirt. HAROLD People have begun to arrive. Martin leaves a bouquet of flowers at the grave and takes his seat. PATRICA BRADFORD (F46), Martins mother approaches from behind, she wears a black dress and is also wearing a black hat, a black lace veil covers half her face. PHILLIP (M10), Victoria’s little brother is at her side, he looks like Martin in the way he is dressed and the fact that his eyes are red from crying too. MARTIN How’d he sleep? PATRICIA Rather well, all things considered. Phillip crawls into Martins lap, Patrica puts her hand on Martins shoulder. (CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: 2. MARTIN Ready to talk. Phillip shakes his head. MARTIN Okay. PATRICIA He hasn’t spoken a word since that night. MARTIN He’ll come around. The PRIEST stands by the grave head. Martin crumples into a hunch, Patrica leans in. PATRICIA How are you doing? MARTIN (sighs) I haven’t a clue what to do next. Martin holds onto Phillip and cries a little. Patrica squeezes Martins shoulder, they hug she takes Phillip back into her arms. PATRICIA Once the will is read you’ll have your answer. PRIEST If everyone could please take their seats,the ceremony is about to begin. PATRICIA She cared deeply for you Martin, she also knew what Phillip meant to you. (pause) Shes in a good place now; and in time you will be too. Martin surveys the small crowd of towns folk who have gathered to pay their respects. MARTIN Wheres her father? (Mumbles) PATRICIA What was that? Martin turns back to his mother. (CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: 3. MARTIN Nothing. PRIEST We gather here today to pay out respects to the late Victoria Bradford. INT. CASKET, SIX FEET UNDER. VICTORIA (F26) chest begins to rise, her hand twitches as she comes to. She panics as she realizes where she is and screams. Victoria cries. PRIEST VO The candle before us represents the light of Victoria’s soul. Legend has it, that a candle is presented during the time of burial, its twin is sent down with the body and is there to help guide the soul to the afterlife. As the story is told, her spirit has moved on once the candle goes out. INT. FARMHOUSE KITCHEN, NIGHT. Three days prior. DOCTOR (M65) sits at the candle lit kitchen table, hes an older man, with a bald spot the size of Rhode Island. He wears a white button up shirt, the top two buttons are undone. He looks defeated, with his head hung over a steaming cup of tea. PATRICIA More tea and biscuits doctor? DOCTOR Oh no, I’m quiet alright thank you dear. Patricia places the plate of biscuits, butter and jam between the two of them. PATRICIA Are you alright? DOCTOR No, I’m not actually. (CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: 4. The Doctor stands and walks with a limp to the kitchen window and opens it for fresh air. DOCTOR This virus, this thing, whatever it is has been reeking havoc through out this town and I have no idea how to stop it. PATRICIA Where do you think it may have started. Doctor makes his way back to the table. Patrica assists. DOCTOR That filthy market in the center of town, its where everyone goes to trade. PATRICIA Any word from our neighboring towns? DOCTOR It’s the same everywhere. The town of Neslson lost five of their own already. I’ve lost four children and five adults myself. PATRICIA And Victoria? Behind them Phillip walks ins. PHILLIP Is Victoria going to die? PATRICIA Sweetie come here, don’t say things like that. She takes Phillip into her arms and holds onto him. She stares at the Doctor in hopes that he has the answers. He shakes his head. DOCTOR I’m afraid she... The doctor is interrupted when the door swings open, echoing against the walls. Victoria’s FATHER stands in the entrance. He steps in uninvited. Martin walks in. (CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: 5. MARTIN What was that? You, what are you doing here? FATHER I’m here to see my daughter. {Father removes his hat, placing it against his chest. MARTIN What have you to think you have any right? Your wife dies... (Father interrupts) FATHER My wife’s death has nothing to do with this! MARTIN If it weren’t for your daughter supporting the family after she passed, you would be nothing. Shes not your little girl anymore, your excuses wont work. Now kindly leave. Martin scuffs off.} FATHER To hell with ya, shes my daughter and I’ll see ’er if I bloody feel like it! Patrica stands with Phillip still in her arms and puts her hand on Fathers chest. PATRICIA Your drunk, you need to go home and sleep this off. FATHER But... (Patricia interupts) PATRICIA You must live with the choices you’ve made, and deal with the consequences. I will talk with my son, despite the differences, you deserve to see your daughter one last time. Moment of silence, Father makes his way to the door. (CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: 6. FATHER G’night Phillip. PHILLIP Night dad. Patrica walks into the bedroom, scarf over her face. Victoria lies in bed motionless. Martin sits in a chair near by, now that you can get a better view of him you see his eyes are glazed over from fatigue and crying. He stares glassy eyed at Victoria. MARTIN I don’t know what to do mom. I’m trying my hardest to keep it together, but on the inside I’ve come undone. (silence) PATRICIA Phillip wishes to see his sister. MARTIN Oh please don’t bring him in here, if he got sick... PATRICIA Martin. We all need to say our goodbyes, even her father. Behind them Doctor walks in. DOCTOR You need your rest. MARTIN You know that wont happen. Martin leans over and removes the handkerchief off his face and kisses her hand. DOCTOR Don’t you’ll get sick! MARTIN The way I see it, I already have it. If I were to get sick it would have happened already. (pause) She’s not coming out of this one is she? DOCTOR No. She has been unresponsive for two days, after four I have to call it. (CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: 7. MARTIN I understand. Martin does the unthinkable and gets into bed with Victoria. INT. CASKET, SIX FEET UNDER. In the dimming candle light Veronica curls up and reads a letter Martin left. MARTIN VO Dearest Victoria, you were my everything. In the short... EXT. GRAVEYARD, MORNING. Martin stands at the head of the grave addressing both Veronica and family. MARTIN time we spent together I never felt more alive. EXT. COURTYARD DUSK. Victoria stands in her wedding gown over looking the field in front of her. Behind the ceremony has come to an end, everyone has filed out and made their way to the lake side reception. Martin hugs her from behind. MARTIN Hello love. Care to join me by the willow for a moonlit dance? Victoria smiles and takes his hand. They go down to the lake side and dance near the willow that hangs over the pond to a string quartet and harp. Montage images of their wedding and memories they shared. Martin weeps. INT. CASKET, SIX FEET UNDER. MARTIN VO You are my love and from this day forth, a part of me will be lost without you. I love you sweet heart, and will always miss you. Martin. (CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: 8. Victoria wipes away some tears and picks up a locket, in graved on the inside are the letters TW. Quick snap shot flash backs occur relating to memories attached to the locket. EXT. 1900’S GRAVEYARD, DAWN. WINIFRED (Victoria’s older sister F32) whose in her early thirties wipes back some tears and chuckles. She addresses the people. WINIFRED When she first learned to speak she would call me Winnie. The crowd smiles, some chuckle. WINIFRED Our mother. She cries a moment. WINIFRED Our mother called us Tori and Winnie, on the count that she became my sidekick while we grew up. INT. MOTHERS SEAMSTRESS SHOP, DAY. YOUNG WINNIE (F13) chases YOUNG VICTORIA (F7) around the seamstress shop, Young Victoria has cloth draped around her as she flees from Young Winnie YOUNG WINNIE Tori get back here, mothers going to have your head if you go out side with her fabric. YOUNG VICTORIA runs through the shop giggling to herself. YOUNG VICTORIA You can’t catch me. YOUNG WINNIE Hault! MOM! Young Victoria stops in her tracks. (CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: 9. YOUNG VICTORIA You’re no fun. Young Winnie takes back the cloth, sets it down and quickly tags Young Victoria. YOUNG WINNIE Ha! Your it. They run around the shop, Young Winnie knocking some fabric and accessories onto the floor. They exit out of the back of the shop and enter the barn. INT. BARN. The two girls run around the horses and donkies and into the pig pen. After several failed attempts Young Victoria finally tags her sister and runs off. They meet where their mother is milking the cows. MOTHER, watches them with a close eye. MOTHER Careful girls, wouldn’t want all my hard work to go spoiled ’cause one of you kicked over my bucket. They skidadle off speaking in unison. TW Okay mom. They run back inside to the seamstress shop. INT. MOTHERS SEAMSTRESS SHOP, DAY. VICTORIA AGE 15 walks in, shes wearing a riding uniform and removes her hat using it as a fan. Under her arm shes holding a torn saddle and riding jacket. She approaches her Mother, who at this time is 5 months pregnant with Phillip. Mother is busy on a sewing machine finishing up the final touches of Winifred’s dress. VICTORIA AGE 15 The Robins son brought this over to be mended. MOTHER Oh dear, what happened? (CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: 10. VICTORIA AGE 15 Buck was thrown from a horse, he’s alright but his jacket tore, and his saddle has been needing mending for quiet some time. MOTHER Set it over there, I need your help with something. VICTORIA AGE 15 Winifred is going to love this. When is she due home? MOTHER The letter she sent the other day indicated her arrival to be anytime now. Behind them there is a knock at the door. WINIFRED AGE 22 walks in, smiling ear to ear. WINIFRED AGE 22 Surprise I’m early! The girls holler and exchange hugs. WINIFRED AGE 22 Beautiful dress! is it for me? MOTHER Yes no peaking, Tori show your sister to the stables and go make some tea, I’ll be in in a minute. The two girls exit. EXT. 1900’S GRAVEYARD, DAWN. Winifred wipes back some tears, and holds the open locket, running her finger over the inside. WINIFRED You and mother really were one of a kind.

11. INT. CASKET, SIX FEET UNDER. Victoria runs her finger over the initials and holds it close to her chest. WINIFRED VO I’ll never forget about you Tori. Victoria curls up and weeps. The lack of oxygen in the coffin has finally caught up to Victoria as her breathing slows. Against the nearly extinguished candle light, Victoria spots something and picks it up. VICTORIA Daddy. Holds an old doll given to her by her mother. Quick snap shot flash backs occur relating to memories attached to the doll, and ending with Victoria who’s holding the doll. VICTORIA Daddy, I’m scared. EXT. GRAVEYARD, MORNING. An old man with a cane hobbles all the way to the front. Though he is never revealed, this is Victoria’s FATHER. FATHER (mumbles folk lullaby.) PRIEST Let me help you Mr. Donaville. FATHER I can take fine care of myself, thank you. Braces himself with the cane to address everyone. FATHER You were once daddy’s little girl. INT. CASKET, SIX FEET UNDER. Victoria curls up with the doll her father left for her. FATHER VO You truly resembled your mother in every possible way. (pause) Remember when you and Winifred use (MORE) (CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: 12. FATHER VO (cont’d) to play dress-up in your mothers shop? She would always return to buttons, lace, and fabrics strewn all over the place. She never got mad. INT. MOTHERS SEAMSTRESS SHOP, DAY. Mother returns from town and stops by her shop. some things are tossled around, but in the distance you can faintly make out the sounds of conversations. Mother goes to the back of the shop to find the two girl in a circle with stuffed animals and farm animals. MOTHER Tori and Winnie. They both look at their mother, and smile. MOTHER Hi girls would you like some fresh biscuits to go with your tea? The two girls giggle with excitement. FATHER VO She told me later that she always found the two of you in the back having a tea party EXT. GRAVEYARD, MORNING. FATHER As you aged, so did our relationship. Before I knew it, you had blossomed into a beautiful young woman. You were growing up so fast before I knew it you were no longer Daddy’s little girl, but a lady who took care of a family after a loss of a loved one. Montage of events surrounding the death of Victoria’s mother and how her and her fathers relationship drastically changed. FATHER I apologized that over the years I neglected you. Truth is I haven’t been your father for many years, (MORE) (CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: 13. FATHER (cont’d) just know that I love you Victoria, darling. INT. CASKET, SIX FEET UNDER. In the dimming candle light Victoria clutches the doll and cries, soon she will breathe her last breath. FATHER VO You’ll always be Daddy’s little girl. Candle goes out. EXT. GRAVEYARD, MORNING. Victoria’s father crouches down beside grave. He places flowers over it, kisses his hand and places it over the grave forming a cross. Says a prayer in silence and leaves. Candle goes out.

Comments

Please sign in or sign up to comment.