Updated Feb, 19th 2013
*** BLURB ***
Produce a festival involving running, costumed women on skates, paddling, food trucks and good ole fashioned bouting.
*** DESCRIPTION ***
tl;dr - Watch and dodge costumed women on skates with nerf bats as you feast on food truck galore.
Vegas, the home of rock hard pool party bodies and delectable gut-busting buffets.
A home divided between the haves (of 4th helpings) and have-nots (ounce of fat).
We're looking to start a new festival akin to San Fermin, the running of bulls in Pamplona. Except it would be in the heart of Sin City, downtown Las Vegas, with all the glitz, showmanship and debauchery in ridiculous proportions.
First, a run to work up an appetite.
But this isn’t your nana's 5K trot. Like the Running of the Bulls festival in Spain, this is going to be a run in fear of your rear... don’t get gorged by our tough-as-nails, beauty-that-assails Roller Derby troops on skates with nerf bats. If you don’t want a paddling, you better not be waddling.
Second, working that appetite.
Forget (the previous horrendous rhyming scheme and) the atypical casino buffet with its themes, highbrow flavors and passive-aggressive waiters. A little culinary sin could go a long way - how about intermingling the various flavors of the biggest meet up of food trucks in Nevada? We'll call in all favors to get as many food trucks from Vegas and SoCal to line the running trail. A gauntlet of gluttony perhaps.
Finally, that bull fight.
The San Fermin festival originated from the need to get the bulls into the bullring. We're a fan of blood, just not animals, so we'll recreate that bullring with a flat track. Yes, after the adrenaline of swatting your behind, the Roller Derby troops will be having bouts for our invitation-only Vegas Engorged "Bull Fight" trophy!
*** Q&A ***
Okay... this sounds fun! Why is this a Kickstarter project?
Well, we think its fun, we know we'll do it, but it’s kinda weird for us to ask ring a door bell and ask some random ladies to put on some skates and chase us with bats. Might give them the wrong idea. This is where you come in.
We need to get an idea if we're crazy crazy or just crazy. By pledging dollars, we can go to the police, the food trucks, the Roller Derby teams and the local chapter of the Illuminati to get this all setup. The more people who pledge, the crazier we can make this.
What are you aiming for?
1000 runners AKA $25,000 in registration
Where does this money go?
All the money will be spent on the rewards, festival costs, and hopefully a bull riding machine. Additional monies generated from additional race registrations outside of this project will go to the Women’s Track Derby Association in accordance to Kickstarter guidelines (“No charity or cause funding”).
When is this going to happen?
On a weekend. Lets be honest, you were planning to go to Vegas anyways, this just helps you decide which day to show up!
Wait... wouldn’t the "bulls" be too tired to bout?
No, because they'll have time to rest. We’re hoping to get big enough to make this is an 8-team round robin knock out!! Yes, instead of a 7 day festival, we're thinking 7 hours. Every half hour, we'll release a new team of bulls. Every hour a bout. Winners of the bout move on, second-winners get to unleash their frustrations on another run! Yup, runners whose butts haven’t been creamed yet can join another bull run! Otherwise, we’ll just feature multiple waves and a single team vs team bout.
*** REWARDS ***
$1 - the "Like" pledge: you like to vote with your money, thanks!
$10 - Support Pledge: you want to see people getting paddled? Get access to all to content in the festival, not just the curated ones. Oh yeah, and a name in a supporters section of the website so that you can say you were into “Vegas Engorged” before it became mainstream.
$20 - Spectator Pledge: okay, not only do you get your rocks off watching someone being paddled, you want others to know about it too... we'll get you a “Vegas Engorged” neckerchief
$25 - Bull Bait: get paddled in person. You get the “Vegas Engorged” neckerchief and also a registration to one running wave of the event. (Helps us figure out who wants to run)
$30 - Spectacular Spectator: woah, seriously man, we get it, you like watching. Get the neckerchief, plus a “Vegas Engorged” bracelet that may also provide VIP entry to 21+ areas (helps us figure out how much 21+ areas we need)
$50 - Bull $hi!: get paddled in person, multiple times. You get the neckerchief, “Vegas Engorged” t-shit and registration to as many waves as your butt can handle.
$60 - I'm a Spankculas: get the neckerchief, bracelet, t-shirt, and a nerf bat to do your own paddling
$70 - Extreme Bull: get neckerchief, multiple wave entry, bracelet, t-shirt and a "butt pad" for future paddings / or snowboarding trips (helps us figure out how many crazies we need insurance to cover)
$100 – Endorse a Bull: it’s like NASCAR, we stick a sticker with up to 10 politically correct characters of your choice on one of the Derby players, plus the “I’m a Spankcalus” reward
$300 – Ride the Bull: We will give you a piggy back ride for 1st minute of the one of the waves to save your legs (we reserve the right that to be weaklings and replaceable by a bike), plus everything above
$500 – Brand a Bull: Top-placement sticker with up to 20 politically correct characters of your choice on one of the Derby players, have the Derby player renamed as such during a bout, and you get a picture of said Derby player, plus everything above
$1000 – Behind the Bull: backstage pass to the festival, and a night out in Vegas with the festival planning team: When in Vegas, do what you won’t remember tomorrow, plus everything above
$5000 – Become the Puppet Master: basically, everything you need to know to create your own race event. An afternoon crash course on how we setup this festival, organizational / operational information within reason* and contact information for all our major partners. Plus all the other rewards above.
$10,000 – A hug. We don’t know what a $10,000 dollar hug is, but by jolly we’ll try. We’ll practice for hours, maybe days, just to make sure it’s the right amount of pressure, warmth and gentle whispering. We may have to call on friends, your mother, lovers (if not mentioned already), and / or your grade school bus driver’s dance partner to understand what it is you really want. And we’ll try. Suddenly, if not forcefully, to make you feel like it was a $10,000 hug.
* No, we will not give you names, credit card info, social security numbers, pant sizes, phone numbers you can call late at night and breathe heavily into or anything of that nature.