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Toughen up!

Ok, so I lose weight when I'm unhappy and gain it when I'm happy - how is that fair? I want both.

During a particularly difficult part of my life, I managed to lose a stack of weight and I felt my whole body firm up. I felt that my body was the one thing I could control, that I was tough and could handle anything, and despite the rest of the chaos in my life I felt and looked great. I loved the feeling of being .. well, harder. I was definitely stronger - that's the lovely thing about being heavy and losing weight, you're strong and everything is easy at the end because you're so used to carrying around so much more!!

Anyway I managed to keep it off for about a year but slowly it started piling back on again as I had a lovely time swanning around, having fabulous meals and the rest of it. I miss that strong, tough, invincible, confident feeling. It would certainly be nice to have both that and the happiness, given that generally I'm in a good place right now.

I also have a bit of an issue with my diet at present in that its very processed-food and meat heavy, which is actually really not good for the environment either. I could never be a vegetarian - I just love meat too much! - but I really want to start eating more fruit and vegetables, ideally with at least 2 or 3 vegetarian meals per week. I love tofu after all, and I never make it!

So here are the goals for my project overall:

I want to ..
- get tough and strong! feel my muscles and body firm up again
- see my biceps and calves defined when at rest and walking
- fit my calves back into my knee high boots
- drop two jeans sizes at my fave store
- be able to run for 1km without stopping (never have been a good runner)
- eat 3+ vegetarian meals a week
- make exercise a habit, not something I have to force myself to do

To do this, I'm going to start by trying to elevate my heart rate for a period every day. Hopefully as it gets easier I can start a muscle-building weights program. I'm also going to take a vegetarian cooking class. I'd like to get into a routine and find a way to stop my internal monologue that tries to talk me out of getting out of bed to do exercise. Let's see how we go from there.

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