Kimlee Davis

Artist, Musician, Poet

32

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Three Failures at Once!

I wrecked my car and quit my job and became a vegetarian around 2010.

And those were not mistakes.

I decided I was going to give it my all and apply to the college I never thought I could get into.

I got the inspiration from my new beau that was a LONG TIME crush of mine for years.

Everything was great! We moved up tp Atlanta and I got into GSU.

It wasn't long before I screwed that all up.

I got into protesting with Occupy Wallstreet.

My classes slipped as I was camping in the park and marching and staying up late watching livestreams from around the country and the world.

My boyfriend felt like he was losing me.

He gave me an ultimatum.

It was either him or the movement.

I chose the movement because I didn't know how to stop.

It felt right and satisfied my heart to know that I could do something and offer myself up in helping the local homeless people and others.

We had our mutual breakup at our favorite coffee place and it felt like a date. 

We reminisced on all of the good and funny times and talked about the possibility of coming together again after we went off on our own adventures.

When he walked out, I didn't consider it to be a forever thing.

That was my first failure.

I let him go.

Without any sort of struggle.

He took a job overseas in Iraq for a few years.

I lost our apartment, so I had to quit school right near the end of the semester.

That was my second failure.

I can't get back in. I actually wasted two years and some money trying to get back in.

I decided that I'd given up everything I had, even my kitties, so this occupy thing had to be worth it.

I had to make it worth it.

People didn't understand why I took it so seriously, but that is why.

I traveled around the country for a year and through the chaos and fun I got pregnant.

The post-partum depression hit me hard.

Not many people know this about me.

I'm not sure if any do.

I kept realizing that because of the circumstances, "he" would probably never take me back.

I closed up for a year with my newborn to hide away from everyone.

I didn't even feel like I could talk to my fellow protestors even though I'd made so many connections and felt like they were family.

I sunk and stewed.

I felt like everything I had done to put me in that dark hole was a failure.

My life had been a failure.

But I had a wonderful child to raise.

I had to pull up my bootstraps.

I knew that my depression could not and would not help us/her.

Even though I left the father a month after finding out that I was pregnant, I felt like I could figure it all out.

So, I reached out to my family and friends and I stayed in Atlanta again and I got two jobs.

I found a cheap small place for us and did the best I could with what was in front of me.

I started going out and socializing and met someone that is absolutely special and he loves my daughter.

It's now that I realize I wasted too much time in sadness and brooding over the way the pieces fell.

But if I hadn't made all of these mistakes, I wouldn't have the most amazing little girl I could ever ask for in my life, I would have never met my love, and I would have always thought back on the Occupy Movement and regretted not getting involved when I had the chance. I met so many wonderful people around the country and had some of the best adventures ever!

Now I sit here in a house where I can finally work on the art and work that I love while I'm at home with my little girl for while. The opportunities are seemingly endless and we are happy! I cherish the relationship with my guy and know how important it is to hold on to.

The only thing to do next is to try everything I've ever wanted to do but felt like I couldn't!

So, I'm ready to fail some more. And learn from it all!

Let's go! ^_^!

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