The yelp project


I hung up on the annoying salesman who just didn't get a hint, and went about my merry way. I then picked up my groomed dog, who was currently making puppy eyes at me. He then looked back to the lady who groomed him, and he jumped into her arms and started licking her face.

What the hell? Had they groomed his brain too? "Fay! What's up with you, man? You're as asshole, remember?"The grooming lady gave me a dirty look, which I brushed off.

Like dog, like owner.


All of a sudden, a tiny woman with messy hair and seemingly the spirit of Christmas shrieked, ran at me, and hid behind me, almost all at once. I looked over to see a dog ,baring all it's wonderful teeth, growl at her. I almost scoffed at how tiny she was, when I realised it was MY dog that gave her the lady's treatment.

I reached over, and with all the allure of an angel, picked my devilish dog up. I smiled back at her, the smile I knew all girls fell at my feet for. 

"Excuse me, his temper's a little..." I eyed her hair, "all over the place." 

She narrowed her eyes. He internally glowed. He realised how much he'd enjoyed provoking her. 

"I believe grooming lady here owes us an apology. How hard is it to get a couple dogs right?" He looked over to the lady and raised an eyebrow. He expected Mary Angela, the name he'd assigned to the tiny woman, to speak in her polite little voice and apologize on her behalf. Anyone who owned those big naive eyes definitely would.


"Excuse me, you asshole? You're the one who messed the dogs up- " Mary Angela reached over to the now blessed dog in my hands and pulled gently on his tag. Sure enough, it had he name "Fay" on it.

"I guess your brain cells would be akin to my hair then. All over the frickin' place."



Damn, I think I'd found the one.