The writer and Red

This is and excerpt from a short story of mine. I have edited both the surprise and suspense versions. You can find the first draft on my blog here if you want to know what the story is about. The main plot is: a writer suffers a block and is introduced to this new drug called "RED", which is very popular amongst writers and is said to cure "writer's block". Without further adieu:

Surprise version:

Later that same day, the writer told his spouse about Red, explaining that it was just till the end of the book. It wouldn’t take more than three days. After dinner the author kissed his spouse good night, sat at his desk and took the little purple pill.  At first everything seemed the same. He expected blurry vision or involuntary moving. He was met with nothing but a peculiar smell. An odour of rotten eggs and lemon. The writer was ready to stand up and open the window when from the corner of his eye he saw something purple. A human-like figure.

Suspense version:

Later that same day, the writer told his spouse about Red, explaining that it was just till the end of the book. It wouldn’t take more than three days. After dinner the author kissed his spouse good night, sat at his desk and took the little purple pill. 

A scent of sulphur and Verbena filled the air. A purple cloud appeared behind the writer’s back. It cleared out to reveal a human-like figure. Red took off his hat and examined the writer for a second. He looked like any other one of his victims. Messy hair, white collar shirt, a vest. He smelled of coffee, jin and exasperation. Red took a step closer, putting his hat back on. He reached into the pocket of his suit, took out a handful of purple dust and blew it towards the figure at the desk. 

Nothing seemed to change after the writer swallowed the little purple pill. He expected blurry vision or involuntary moving. He was met with nothing but a peculiar smell. An odour of rotten eggs and lemon. The writer was ready to stand up and open the window when from the corner of his eye he saw something purple. 

  

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