Sorry, your browser is not supported
To have the best experience using Skillshare, we recommend that you use one of these supported browsers.

Chad Deverman

Oakland, California

13

34

The Rose in Pat Humbert

Step 1: Selecting Your Text

I’m a little late to the party, but I aim to catch up and would really value your comments.

Most people seem to be adapting a poem from the Spoon River Anthology. The poems are beautiful and great material but I wanted to try something a little different. Chapter 10 - Pat Humbert’s chapter - from John Steinbeck’s The Pastures of Heaven really stuck with me. Not only is it a creepy ghost story of sorts, it’s about a man fighting against what his parents turned him into and taking control of his own life. All of us have felt shame at one point or another - the question is whether we let it define us or fight against it. I wanted to write about a man who fights against it in a unique way, even if it means doing something brash. 

I set out to make a script that’s creepy at times, darkly funny at time, and maybe a bit sad the rest of the time. The tempo in the beginning should be quick and move along, then slow down once Pat is “on his own.” 

Feedback definitely wanted! In fact, in addition to going through other’s projects and reading randomly, I will definitely look over projects of those that have commented on mine. 

Step 2: Final Draft - Updated 7/24/14

Well, here's the final. Not many changes from the third draft except for some more formatting and spelling corrections. Wanted to thank everyone for their feedback - it not only really changed and shaped the story but really drove in all those technical details a screenwriter has to include. Even if this sucker doesn't get passed on to the powers that be, I'm proud of it and will use it as a jumping off point to continue writing and writing and writing.  Cheers!

Final Draft:

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0BwFT70hCxSzccjQtOVpMU21yd3c/edit?usp=sharing

And here are the older versions-

Third Draft: 

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0BwFT70hCxSzcMWxURnFtS2xGVmM/edit?usp=sharing

Second draft:

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0BwFT70hCxSzcSWZvSVRkdmFueWc/edit?usp=sharing

First Draft:

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0BwFT70hCxSzcUFVPU1M2X3hWcVE/edit?usp=sharing

Step 3: Logline

A lonely man exorcizes the ghosts of his belittling parents with interior design.

Comments

Please sign in or sign up to comment.