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The Old Mill

For my project, I decided to choose Albert Schirding's text from Spoon River Anthology.

I loved this piece because I felt it addressed timeless themes - the continual cycle of the nature of your children growing up and leaving the nest.

I wanted to explore themes of existentialism (sorry been watchin' a lot of true detective) and the idea of how individuals try to define their own value and the extent to which an individual uses external factors (money, jobs, women, clothes) to 

PLEASE NOTE:

If you are willing to read my script and give feedback I think you are awesome!

But We're all here to get better and Improve on our craft and I've noticed very generic comments "Hey, great script!" or "I like it!" on a majority of posts and I don't think that offers much.

I'd appreciate it if we all follow a simple, standard script coverage like so:

Storyline:

Character:

Dialogue:

Structure:

I think just a simple 1-10 rating with a sentence of feedback for each would be so much more valuable towards our improvement.

Thank you for your time.

-Geoff

1. Source Text - Spoon River Anthology - Albert Schidring


JONAS KEENE thought his lot a hard one
Because his children were all failures.
But I know of a fate more trying than that:
It is to be a failure while your children are successes.
For I raised a brood of eagles
Who flew away at last, leaving me
A crow on the abandoned bough.
Then, with the ambition to prefix
Honorable to my name,
And thus to win my children's admiration,
I ran for County Superintendent of Schools, 
Spending my accumulations to win-- and lost.
That fall my daughter received first prize in Paris
For her picture, entitled, "The Old Mill"--
(It was of the water mill before Henry Wilkin put in steam.)
The feeling that I was not worthy of her finished me.

1st Draft of "The Old Mill"

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B28TEc9LGtqbeW5CSDhGWERFS0U/edit?usp=sharing

Happy reading!

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