Updated Dec, 11th 2012
In a nutshell, I am The Ultimate Anti-Martha. Everything I have ever innocently try to make has come out so wrong.
For instance, when I tried to make hard candy wreath stocking stuffers: I used a mold like this for the ultimate goal of this . But I what I got were green and red these:
After years of blaming my failures to crappy finger dexterity or poor oven heat distribution, I now embrace my craft fails.
Retractable Dildo (For the Business Traveler on the Go): No more awkard security screens!
You get the message. So far in my catalogue of Anti-Martha creations includes:
*Note: The Jolly Rancher Cock Rings of 2003 was discontinued because of a hairy balls incident.
Right now, it's all about the Breast Shelf!
Hot day got you down? August is not for the big breasted! Who says sweaty boobs are sexy? Not you! Get naked. Sit in front of your fan or luxuriate in AC, with your boobies sitting comfortaby atop your personalized Breast Shelf. Lift those mammaries and throw those under breast sweat pads away! Great as a Gut Rest when legs are fully retracted.
Project Idea A: Creating a Tumblr and Youtube Channel devoted to the Anti-Craftist and their awesomely bad creations (a MAKE channel for the Awesomely Bad).
Project B: Develop Coffee Table Book Highlighting the best of the beautifully worst crafts ever created.