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The Balance Around Love

10 year vision

Living a balanced, family-centric life with my husband and 4 children.  I am out of the military but living at whatever base my husband is stationed at.  Our children are confident, caring, and infinitely creative.  Our family eats dinner together most nights and we invest a substantial amount of quality time together through camping trips and also at home.

Goals

By 2014: Finish masters degree, have another baby, finish tech school for the Air Force, read at least 2 books per month, create something once a month, play with my son every day, live like a minimalist.

By 2018: Teach at the Air Force Academy, get my yoga instructor certification, continue to train at CrossFit and qualify to Regionals/ the Games, foster my children’s creativity and desire to learn by reading to them and doing crafts with them, take them to community service events, be totally debt free with large sums going towards savings.

By 2023: Retired from the military, achieve a higher level of education (physical therapist or Ph.D. or N.D.), buy a house, have a flourishing family, go on a humanitarian mission trip.

Lessons from the Interviews

I found the interview questions rather interesting.  At first glance, a few of them seem to be questions to which only I should have an answer (i.e. loss of power, inspiration, goals).  But after hearing the answers from others, I realized they had very valuable perspectives based on the way I project my personal importance to them.  Some of my interviewees have a more intimate relationship with me than others, some only see me in one type of setting, some have known me much longer than others—not one perspective was the same, but all were accurate.

I learned a number of things about myself from the interview questions.  First, I have a problem with self-love.  This is something I’ve come to understand recently and have been taking steps to remedy it through meditation, sharing my shame with someone and then letting it go, reading more, creating more, and playing more.  I have a precious 3 year old little boy who has been instrumental in modeling the childlike heart which is full of unconditional love and forgiveness.

Second, I learned that others view me as highly success-driven and goal-oriented.  Goals are wonderful, but the success-driven piece bothered me (at least in the context of their answers).  Through the school system and military, I evolved into this woman who only cared about the grade or the rank in class—the stratification of the learning and not the learning itself.  I feel like this is the most unauthentic way to live and I want to change that.

Third, I was a little surprised to find that everyone mentioned balance.  Developing physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually has always been a non-vocalized goal of mine but in the past two years, I’ve tried to work towards it in a healthy manner.  Historically, I’ve pursued this death-rate intensity that resulted in a shattered effort.  I’ve found that slowing down and being more deliberate about my energy has been innumerably beneficial.

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