Updated Dec, 13th 2012
1. "The Best End of the World Ever"
This would be a brief snarky review of each supposed apocolypse. Y2K, that other thing that caused a bunch of people to quit their jobs, and the upcoming Mayan calendar deal, plus more (I'm sure). I'd probably rate each one, kind of like on Yelp, but make up some random scale.
2. "Dictionary of Terms Related to My Ex-Boyfriend"
This would be a collection of words that would be defined in ABC order, each of which uses a photo related to an "ex" / an example in a sentence that passive aggressively describes relationship issues.
This would be based on an actual conversation that took place after a dude holla'ed at me on the street. It would probably take the form of some kind of monologue in which I make him regret passively mentioning that I'm attractive.