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Story Ideas

Oh hell.

1a/ Critiques and observations on weddings in a dialogue between the cake toppers (I worked as a caterwaiter all through college. We mostly did weddings. Stories, I have them.)

1b/ How to deal with a disgruntled wedding guest, when all you have is a half-apron and a broken corkscrew.

2/ The mental gymnastics one goes through when trying to psych-up enough to ask out the hot male yoga instructor because he's clearly a mindful, zenned-out 10 and you're a slightly fumbly 6 on a good day who still hasn't figured out how to stick crow pose without falling firmly on your face. (spoiler alert: it leads to a two month stretch of contextual-less Sun Tzu quotes and a breakup more bitter than that terrible green tea you pretended to like, leaving you more tightly coiled than the now-dusty yoga mat stuffed into the back of your closet– yet infinitely more flexible in your standards.)

3a/ How to sell an ad/What really happens in advertising/Mad Men is a bloody lie but we do pour bourbon in our coffee and as the week progresses the whiskey to not-life-sustaining-whiskey ratio increases until we're all just walking around with mugs full of hooch and eyes full of dead dreams, spouting off buzzwords like "gamification," or "user delight," or something about how the "clickability of our viral immersive experience in that advertainment we launched last week has really shown an uptick in two-way communication between brands and their loyalists," chug the mug and pray for alcohol poisoning or 5:30, whichever happens first.

3b/ Email conversations about the new campagin with clients who just don't "get it."

3c/ Internal monologues of stock photography talent/the thoughts that happen on a photoshoot

I promise my actual sentences aren't as terribly run-on as these would allude to.

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