Kevin Marshall

a guy doing stuff...sometimes.

8

41

Splitting Aces

Step 3: Logline

A deceased professional gambler, who was raised Catholic, reflects on the philosophy he lived by before playing a game of poker that could earn him another chance at life.

#################################

Step 1: Pick your character

For my screenplay, I've decided to focus on the character "Ace" Shaw from The Spoon River Anthology.  Here is the text that I'll be working from:

----------

“Ace” Shaw

I NEVER saw any difference

Between playing cards for money

And selling real estate,

Practicing law, banking, or anything else.

For everything is chance.

Nevertheless

Seest thou a man diligent in business?

He shall stand before Kings!

----------

I choose this because I like the idea of a character that believes in both chance and a higher power...and uses both to find success in his chosen craft.

I'm still fleshing the overall idea out, but my hope is to cover various stages of Shaw's life (and death) and show how is philosophy evolved over the years into his own unique form of 'universal wisdom'.

#################################

Step 2 - Initial rough draft 

http://gawk.it/static/Splitting_Aces_v1.pdf

...I'm not loving the ending and I'm a bit worried that I put too many (weak) scenes into such a short script...but it's a start and I would love feedback/thoughts/suggestions on how to tighten it up and evolve it from here...

#################################

Step 2B - 2nd draft

http://gawk.it/static/Splitting_Aces_v2.pdf

...in this version, I tried to take the feedback from a few classmates and scale down some of the text, add a bit more personality to each character, and I also reworked some of the scenes (cutting a few super weak ones and adding in a few that I *think* better fit with my goal here)...I especially tried to focus more on 'showing through scenes' this time around rather than 'telling through dialog'...but would love to hear any/all feedback from you!

#################################

Step 2C - 3rd draft

http://gawk.it/static/Splitting_Aces_v3.pdf

...in this version I did a little dialog cleanup (based on feedback) and then went in search of more of the 'story' I'm trying to tell. I think it's getting close to the final version I want it to be.

#################################

Step 2D - 4th draft

http://gawk.it/static/Splitting_Aces_v4.pdf

...for awhile I thought this was going to be my final draft, but I've had a number of awesome comments and suggestions from fellow students that I think improved the script a lot...so this version now becomes just another attempt along the path of getting the whole story out in as clean and simple a way as possible.

#################################

Step 2E - 5th draft

http://gawk.it/static/Splitting_Aces_v5.pdf

This is a new attempt at a final draft based on fellow classmate feedback and suggestions...it mostly just cleans up the final scene, ads transitions (not sure if we were supposed to have them in the script or not) and just a bit more direction on a few of the more vague parts (I hope).

I'm also including screen shots of this version for those that don't want to download the PDF to read the (currently) final version:

Comments

Please sign in or sign up to comment.